What can I say about Nebraska? It's obsessed with corn, lost a baffling but awesome game to Northwestern, is known for permitting some nepotism in its coaching ranks, and (as seen above) has perfected the sad/dejected fan look.

Wait, when did I start talking about Iowa?

I kid, I kid.

(As a side note, consider that last jab at Nebraska/Iowa a parting gift -- I'm getting married Saturday, and taking a week off for a honeymoon, so I won't be around these parts next week. Don't worry, though, you'll still get a Potluck next week -- thanks Jonathan for pitching in to help)

Anyways, on to this week's Potluck, where we look at the Cornhuskers with 4 corn-themed dishes/questions (I forgot to do this last week -- forgive me. But every course links to an actual recipe, so feel free to use these recipes this weekend). Follow us after the jump to read about the Pelini brothers' separation anxiety, the non-conference vs. conference performance of Rex Burkhead, why T-Magic will prevent Nebraska from winning its SIXTH NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, and creative ways to rid some B1G teams of their worst characteristics/history.

(EDITOR's NOTE/UPDATE: I forgot to mention -- we have a new writer at OTE: mikjones24 joins the OTE staff as an Iowa contributor....I initially left his excellent answers out below, so please read them now, and welcome Mike to the staff!)

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WHO HATES IOWA?

Apparently one pissed-off deity with omnipotence when it comes to deciding the fate of Hawkeye running backs.

In this week's Potluck, we seek answers on Iowa from a higher power.....the Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God (AIRBHG).....and the OTE writers, with special guest RossWB from Black Heart Gold Pants (who will surely have his knee blown out in spectacular fashion by AIRBHG for daring to blaspheme AIRBHG's judgments on the questions below by offering differing opinions).

So jump below to discuss an off-season of change (REALLY! WE SWEAR!) in Iowa City, who's left to bust a McNutt for the Iowa offense, swapping a Parker for a Parker on defense, and curses throughout the B1G....

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Everybody watch your ACLs.....it's Purdue Potluck time.

Iowa's Most Hated Rival (thanks to Jim Delany) had a roller-coaster 2011 season -- a loss to Rice, a win over Ohio State, a bowl win, a contract extension for Coach Danny Hope....it was a fairly eventful year in West Lafayette.

So what better way to celebrate than with a Boilermaker (whiskey chased by beer) themed Potluck? (Feel free to follow the dish links to actual recipes). Follow the OTE writers and special guest BoilerTMill from Purdue's SB Nation site Hammer and Rails below the jump for 4800+ words on the red-headed step-children of football, the three-headed CaRobRob MaHenBush monster, contract extensions, another edition of the annual "how bad does MSULaxer27 think Purdue is going to be" game, and how to improve our favorite teams' mascots/colors/logos....

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I'm a Northwestern optimist. I wear purple-shaded glasses when it comes to my favorite team. Last year, I picked Northwestern to go 11-1 before the season....and while I was clearly proven wrong, my "glass half-full" soul still believes Northwestern was much closer to 11-1 than their record suggests (see below).

I'm a homer.

And I do not apologize for it.

College football is supposed to be fun, right? Well, I don't particularly think it's "fun" to bitch and moan about my team, to dissect its flaws, or to loudly advocate for the firing of a coach or coordinator. If that's fun for you....go for it. There's certainly an increasing number of fans of Northwestern who will be happy to join you -- who want to fire defensive coaches (defensive coordinator Mike Hankwitz and defensive backs coach Jerry Brown are frequent targets of ire), lower academic standards for athletes because they feel it's impossible to compete with the current admissions standards, or find fault with Fitz's "Go Cats!" cheerleading or his gameday management or his "failure" to win a Big Ten title as quickly as his 2 predecessors. Hell, some fans even think Fitz should be fired.

Don't expect me to join in. Instead, I'm going the other way. I'm going to tell you why Northwestern is building itself into a juggernaut. Follow me below the jump for some unconventional wisdom on why Northwestern's slide in the wins column from 2008-2011 has masked some dramatic improvement in the Cats....

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We can have playoff semifinals here, but not in Madison/Columbus/Ann Arbor/State College?

So, apparently college football is getting a playoff.

Color me unimpressed....for now.

Look, the best thing about college football has been the fact that the regular season is BY FAR the best in any other sport. It's not even particularly close. You lose a game (or more likely two), and you're all but eliminated from national title contention. Every game quite literally counts....lose 1 game (or, sometimes, more than 1) and you end up without a national title.

Even in years of controversy (see: 2011), the BCS manages to accomplish AT MINIMUM it's stated goal -- a matchup in a bowl game of 2 teams that are ARGUABLY (albeit, not certainly) the top 2 teams in the country. Say what you will about the merits of a Alabama-LSU rematch (and whether Oklahoma State deserved a spot over Bama -- frankly, I believe they did), but you cannot deny the idea that Alabama was in the discussion as the 2nd best regular season team behind LSU....

Regardless, we're getting a playoff. Thankfully, it's only for 4 teams right now (and, let us all pray, it never expands beyond that....anything beyond that would ruin the regular season entirely). The big questions now are: 1) how do you select the 4 teams? And 2) where do you play the semifinals?

As for question 1, there are plenty of good answers -- Jim Delany likes a model where the top 4 conference champions make the playoffs as long as they all finish in the top 6 overall (thus, in 2011, Bama would make the playoff over an outside the top-6 Wisconsin team). You can discuss the merits of conference champions vs. best overall in the comments section below.

What this article is about, though, is the 2nd issue -- where the semifinals should be played. And below the jump, I will set forth the shockingly non-controversial (yet, for some reason, unlikely to be adopted) rationale for why college campuses should actually host college football games....

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Meet your College Football Playoff Overlords.....

Potlucks frequently are gatherings that are joyous, and full of fellowship.

Sometimes, though, a Potluck can be about neighbors joining together in a time of trouble, like bringing food to a funeral wake.

Here at Off-Tackle Empire, we're doing both: a joyous, raucous wake to celebrate the end of the BCS. Yes, it's good that the announcement that we'll have a four-team playoff means the BCS is buried six-feet under, but the BCS wasn't always bad (i.e. every BCS game involving the Big East and/or ACC) -- it had some amazing moments of glory (see the dessert course below).

So follow us below for four themed dishes (complete with links to recipes!) where we discuss a return to glory for January 1st, consider what happens when a great season does not result in a bowl, consider the Rose Bowl conundrum, and remember some great moments in the BCS....

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Maybe the Buckeyes can win a B1G push-ups championship, instead....

Ahhhh, Ohio State week. This should be quiet, right? I mean, we're talking about a team that cannot make it to Indianapolis, that plays its last game of any sort on November 24, 2012 (and then, RO*TEL QUESO BOWL TIME!), and is coming off its first losing season since 1988. I don't even need to do this Potluck, do I?

Wait, they hired WHO?

Ummmm, okay. When the Tim Tebow-Whisperer himself joins the conference, I suppose that automatically makes a team Potluck worthy, even if they're already eliminated from postseason competition. Join the OTE writers, and special guests Ian from Inside the Shoe and Matt B. from the brand-new SB Nation Ohio State blog Land-Grant Holy Land as we spill 4400+ words on a bro-tastic job demotion, talk about how Urban Meyer's offense might be better at destroying Ohio State's own defense rather than B1G defenses, look at the first bowl game to be played in Columbus, and apologize deeply for our teams' most obnoxious fans.

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The Illini -- Like George Lucas, They Can Ruin Any Good Thing. (Photo courtesy of The Lion's Den)

We're supposed to hate our rivals. It's supposed to be easy, as natural as breathing, an inherent part of our fandom DNA. Michigan fans could not imagine life without hating Ohio State, Indiana will always hate Purdue, Michigan State will always hate Michigan, hatred of everybody Minnesota is Iowa's fifth most important export (behind corn, crystal meth, patrons for Wrigleyville bars, and floundering presidential primary candidates), and all of the B1G hates That School in South Bend.

Then why is it so hard for Northwestern and Illinois to properly hate one another?

The elements are there -- city vs. downstate, private vs. public, the battle to be "Chicago's Big Ten Team," just 8 games separating the teams in their 105 game history, a Monopoly-piece rivalry trophy, and even below-the-belt cheap shots. And yet even Illini Coach Tim Beckman had to resort to derivative Hoke-a-mania inspired gimmickry to try to elevate Illinois-Northwestern into something resembling a real rivalry -- banishing purple from his wardrobe, calling Northwestern "That Team Up North," and posting this sign in the Illinois locker room:

My takeaway? Tim Beckman watches "Ghostbusters" a lot. (via @WernerConnectFM on Twitter)

And it's not just coaches that have struggled to find a reason to hate in this rivalry. If you poll Northwestern fans, most of them probably prefer to beat Iowa and view the Hawkeyes as our rivals, not Illinois. Illini fans seem not to care about football (like this Illini message board poster, Mr. "It's bad enough to get the 3rd best MAC football coach. That's football. No one cares.") and thus have little incentive to hate their nominal/geographical rival.

In last year's hate column, even I struggled to find a reason to hate Illinois -- their fans are generally nice and genial as far as I can tell, I'm related to/friends with many Illini fans, and (sadly) neither of our teams ever seem to be good at the same time, depriving our annual game of any real stakes and/or bitter enmity. Ultimately, I settled on the fact that Illinois football was less relevant than items in the Skymall Magazine. But irrelevance does not engender hatred. Why exactly should I hate Illinois?

Leave it to Ron Zook to solve this riddle. Ron Zook gave all of us in the B1G the best possible parting gift -- a reason to hate Illinois in the form of last year's Illini team. The 2011 Illini provided the best reason for Northwestern fans (and, indeed, all of us in the B1G) to hate the Illini. In a record-setting performance, the Illini began the season 6-0 and rose to 16th in the polls....only to become the first team in history to collapse after such a start with 6 straight losses.

In ruining a perfect season in such spectacular fashion, we finally saw our reason to hate Illinois: The Illini Can't Have Nice Things. It doesn't always happen immediately, but the Illini always find a way to ruin a perfectly good thing.

Don't believe me? This has been going on forever....

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Tim Beckman steps into Ron Zook's apparently very baggy pants at Illinois (via cdn0.sbnation.com)

Illini coach Tim Beckman embraces the choice and selection that a Potluck represents -- apparently it's a part of the training regime down in Champaign-Urbana, where winners of things like the Spring Game get steak, while losers get beans 'n weenies or porridge.

Here at OTE, we don't look down on beans 'n weenies, or think them an inferior substitute to steak -- we embrace all Midwest meat and casserole dishes. And while Illinois was in the "beans 'n weenies" lower-half of the B1G for most of Ron Zook's tenure, Beckman is hoping to turn things around and be eating steak in Pasadena (or at least end up in a bowl game against a team that didn't just fire its head coach).

So, follow the OTE writers (and special guest U-God, one of the thousands of two Illini fans who frequent our comments section) after the jump for 3400+ words as we discuss what Charlie Weis and Bo Schembechler have to do with offseason coaching hires in the B1G, investigate Beckman's past in the video-game scoring league that was the MAC, get Mercilus-less with the Illini defense, and discuss disproportionate hatred.....

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"Wrecked 'em? Damn near Zooked 'em! HAHAHAHAHAH!" (via cdn0.sbnation.com)

If the Potluck has a spiritual home, it's Minnesota -- the land of Lake Wobegon, Minnesota Viking team outings on Lake Minnetonka, where Prince makes Charlie Murphy pancakes after kicking his ass in basketball, and most importantly the founding home of hotdish.

Since I don't want to be accused by Jerry Kill of being a "Minnesota Loafer," why don't we purify ourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka and start this potluck, where we hand Jerry Kill his report card, place Marqueis Gray on the Bauserman-Wilson scale, discuss how scared we are of Minnesota football in 2013, and talk about our Bubba moments in sports.

3700 plus words on the Gophers? IN YOUR FACE CHARLIE MURPHY!

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Yes, the SEC may have cornered the market on oversigning, recent BCS national championships, good ol' boys, inferior academics, bourbon, grits, seer-sucker, and the willingness to support moon-base planning/anti-contraceptive candidates to run the most powerful nation on earth, but there is one thing they will never take away from the Midwest: our glorious potlucks. (Although we're seriously considering re-animating General Sherman's corpse to steal the bourbon, because it warms us so well in the cold Midwest winter.)

Here at OTE, the Potluck is where the writing staff responds to a series of questions themed around delicious foods in regards to that week's team. Last year, the potluck featured five courses -- thanks to the obesity epidemic, the hope to keep these posts to fewer words than "War and Peace", and the diet for my upcoming wedding, we've cut the column to 4 course (don't worry, we eliminated "potato/rice" dishes, not dessert).

So stick around after the jump to learn how the OTE writers (and special guest John M from Crimson Quarry) found over 3000 words to write about Indiana football, including answers to the following: why Indiana in 2011 was all about compost, blueprints, and reset buttons; why Hoosiers prefer their balls round and orange; whether the best defense can be a good offense; and how Nick Saban, AAU accreditation, lakefront stadiums, and tattoo parlors would come to the Big Ten if our teams played and won Mega Millions.....

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Northwestern brings excitement to bowl games like Pitbull brings non-alcoholic parties to highway overpasses (via drpeppervideos)

Yesterday, Graham shared why Wisconsin-Oregon is the B1G's biggest bowl game this year.

I'm a Northwestern fan. Look at Ryan Field. I could care less about "biggest." All I care about? Entertainment. Sexiness (hey, we are the university that introduced the f*#$saw into the vernacular). And having a real good time.

And no B1G team...hell, no FBS team period....has played in as many exciting/sexy/real good time bowl games as Northwestern has recently. Heavy underdogs in each of the past 3 bowl games they've played, Northwestern has covered the spread each time. Two OT games (2008 Alamo Bowl vs. Mizzou, 2010 Outback Bowl vs. Auburn), an 7-point loss in an offensive shootout (2011 TicketCity Bowl), hell, even the 2005 Sun Bowl (a 50-38 loss to UCLA) featured not one, but TWO on-side kicks returned for touchdowns. (Yes, you read that right).

Don't believe me? Watch the insane highlights of the 2008 Alamo Bowl here....and the even crazier 2010 Outback Bowl highlights here. (Yes, that is Drake Dunsmore in the latter clip, proving once and for all that one man cannot tackle Drake Dunsmore....and yes, that clip leaves out the painful "Fastball" failed fake FG attempt. Just don't wanna see it again)

If that doesn't have you convinced, below the jump are 5 reasons (not including the chance to end Northwestern's 63 year-long bowl winless streak) the Northwestern-Texas A&M matchup in the Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas (Saturday, December 31, 2011, at 11 am CT on ESPN and ESPN3) will be the B1G's most exciting game of this bowl season:

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Northwestern is wearing quite literally all-purple with silver helmets....Wisconsin got picked by all of ESPN's Gameday (save Matteen Cleaves)....we have a full slate of exciting late night football, so why not discuss it here, right?

Plus, you're LITERALLY chatting with a stadium DJ in the booth as a game goes on (yep, I'm here, celebrating Homecoming in Evanston for Penn State at Northwestern)....feel free to throw me questions, and if I'm not busy pressing the "GROWL GROWL" button whenever NU's offense makes an awesome play behind #Persastrong, I'll tell you about life in the DJ booth.....

If you perused the sidebar on the left of our page entitled BIG 2011, you may have noticed that all the B1G teams had a hate column posted during their preview week, except one -- Illinois.

In honor of this week's Hat Fight (the battle for the Land of Lincoln Trophy), we here at Off-Tackle Empire would like to rectify that omission.

You see, Illinois' preview week fell on the week prior to Memorial Day weekend.  Buckeye fans will see where this is going -- Jim Tressel resigns, Luke Fickell replaces him, Terrelle Pryor ends up heading to the NFL -- basically, we had larger fish to fry in terms of our coverage.  I, specifically, had been tasked with writing the Friday hate piece on the Illini, but was stuck with crippling writer's block as I pondered a simple question:

How do I muster hate for a football team and fanbase that views each football game as just one week closer to the start of basketball season? In other words, the most apathetic fanbase in the entire Big Ten.

I suppose I could have posted a bunch of photos of Zook water-skiing or striking muscle flexing poses.  I could have chronicled the Illini's consistently impressive performance each season in the Fulmer Cup.  Or pointed and laughed at Illinois' paltry .344 conference winning percentage since 1993 (when Penn State joined the Big Ten), good for 9th place above only Minnesota (.319) and Indiana (.236), and marveled at how the football team of the flagship state university of the largest state by population in the Big Ten managed to be so terrible.

And I was going to write exactly that column on a Thursday night plane flight that week...until I opened up the SkyMall Magazine, and discovered a cornucopia of items that were more interesting, useful, relevant, and effective than Illinois football in the B1G.  For example (all items found below are quite literally available at SkyMall):

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Buon giorno!

I'm finally back from vacation in Italy, and what do I find? The B1G (sans Wisconsin, and perhaps Nebraska, Michigan and Illinois) in disarray.  Goddamnit, Northwestern, I know it's patriotic, but how can you lose to Army???? And I'm not even going to address the state of all things athletic in the states of Indiana and Minnesota.

It's time to fix my disappointment in the conference's non-conference performance with a Potluck, Italian-style. 

Jump below as the OTE writers and I debate whether the B1G is prosciutto or melon, what it'll take to steal the bottle of Brunello di Montalcino from Wisconsin, determine the best non-Communist game of this week, decide what B1G unit is most like the food in Florence, and swap tailgate recipes for butterburgers that resemble Michigan co-eds, hobo hotdogs, artery-clogging 7-layer dip, and a Hilary Lee-special of deep fried meat.

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This Diamondbacks Fan Has The Right Idea for Iowa, PSU, MSU, OSU, and Northwestern Fans

I'm an optimist.  I can't help it, I've always been that way -- I always look on the brighter side of things, and see promise where others see failure.  The first time I went ice-skating, I returned proudly and told my mom: "I was great -- I only fell 8 times!"

Laugh away.  As Nike via Dwyane Wade will tell you, all that matters is if you get back up after you get knocked down.

Northwestern fandom has done nothing to diminish this optimistic streak.  I witnessed Anwawn Jones block a chip-shot FG against 11th ranked Michigan State in 1997 (then coached by Nick Saban....the fact he's a "genius" now after his fairly mediocre showing at East Lansing only shows how important oversigning is to his glory). I screamed at the television during Northwestern's OT win against Wisconsin in Madison and after "Victory Right" at Minnesota in 2000.  I kept the faith after Damien Anderson dropped a wide-open TD pass during the greatest game ever played against Michigan in 2000....and was rewarded when Anthony Thomas fumbled and the Cats escaped 54-51.   I just don't count the Cats out of a game or season until it's over.  My fandom doesn't work that way -- I can't join in the chorus of fans who treat a single loss, no matter how bad, as the end of a season.

Which is why I've hated just about everything I've read from Northwestern fans after the Army loss.  Should Northwestern (or, really, any Big Ten team) beat Army? Of course.  Is it a bad loss? Maybe (keep in mind -- Army was 7-6 last year, went bowling, and won their bowl game). 

Does that loss mean our season is over, or that we have completely unfixable problems that will cause this season to fall apart? Hell no. Zero conference games have been played. Zero.  We're all still in this, to some degree (I personally think Wisconsin is clearly the best team, will win the B1G and may be a national title contender, but the rest of us still have a hell of a lot to play for even if that is true)....and we all, still, have some reason to believe. 

So for the 2-1 teams that had eyes on the BTN championship/January 1st bowl games (sorry Purdue -- you have reasons for Hope, no pun intended, but probably not THAT much hope) and slipped up, why should you still believe?

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Sweet Jesus, the internet is amazing.

First, some background -- on Friday (the day before the B1G slate fully kicked off), I boarded an Air France flight with my fiance.  The destination: a weekend in Switzerland with her brother (a huge Michigan fan), his wife, and their daughter, followed by two weeks travelling thru Italy.

How did I get talked into travelling abroad during college football season? Well, 1) I'd never been to Italy before, 2) we found some great deals on flights, 3) the weather is generally good this time of year, 4) the Labor Day weekend meant we could take an extra day without losing vacation time, and 5)....well, my fiance is very convincing.

Obviously, though, we scheduled generally well -- I stood to miss two Northwestern road games (at Boston College and at Army), and only one home game (and that against FCS Eastern Illinois).  I can live with this, I told myself....I'll still have all of the conference slate to watch live in person or on TV when I get home.

But as the hours ticked away until our flight, I realized -- I'm going to be a wreck if I can't watch this game.

So, thank God for the Internet:

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"Life is so very fragile. We are all vulnerable. And we will all at some point in our lives fall. We will all fall. We must carry this in our hearts. That what we have is special."

"Don't look at him, don't even think about him. You understand me? Stay inside yourself, and think about the next series."

"Nothing's gonna crush Matt Saracen. He's like a little stinkbug, you can't crush him. He's tough, he'll be fine." - Coach Eric Taylor, Friday Night Lights

I. Case History/Opening Statement

A.  Case History

7-3 with Dan Persa.  0-3 without Dan Persa.

Much like any episode of Friday Night Lights (one of the top 10 television dramas of all time -- honestly do yourself a favor and watch the whole series), the story of Northwestern's season climaxed in one, bittersweet moment on November 13, 2010: the thrill of watching a fluttering touchdown pass fall into the outstetched arms of Demetrius Fields to clinch Northwestern's now-nearly annual victory over Iowa, followed by the emotional gut punch to the stomach of seeing Dan Persa crippled on the ground with a ruptured Achilles.  If I would have known what was going to happen, I would have cued up some Explosions in the Sky at the Ryan Field DJ booth to provide the perfect soundtrack to the moment.

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In an annual tradition, BTN visited Cats' practice today at Great Lakes Naval Station, and tweeted their impressions.

If you've seen the Northwestern preview shows on BTN before, you know that the crew (Howard Griffiths, Gerry DiNardo, and Dave Revsine) do a pretty excellent job covering each team, their impressions, etc.....and frequently have been dead on in predicting Northwestern to succeed (2008 and 2009) or struggle (2010, to a degree).

So what did they think this year?

Northwestern will be....pretty damn good — they gave huge props for the O-line, D-Line (most talent and depth in 5 years!), and secondary. Looks like our team is more talented, deeper, and hungrier than we’ve ever seen them. Some highlights:

@gerrydinardo:
- Good work out.You could tell it was last day of camp A little shorter practice,working on some opponents & some tired legs.
- The season depends on the performance of O Line because they need a run game, no dynamic TB,protect Persa and time of poss
- Kain Coulter second QB gives the offense another running threat which would allow the offense to evolve some
- Overall this could be a very good offense if Persa healthy,O line plays to potential,RB develops,explosive plays on flank.
- D Line-depth & talent best in 5 yrs. As we’ve said at many other stops, if the D line is getting better usually so is the program
- They obviously lack experience at LB. The OLB can run, ILB will be tested vs. the downhill running teams of the Legends
- Secondary looks very good and will be one of the strengths of the team.

@BTNDaveRevsine:
- They are still limiting Persa’s involvement – though he certainly participated in a lot of what they did. Backup QB Kain Colter looked good
- No clear-cut leader at the RB spot. Trumpy, Adonis Smith, Jacob Schmidt all involved – freshman T Green may have a shot
- OL looked better than it has in recent years – in fact, they seem to have improved depth on both lines. Obviously, a lot of talent at WR
- Howard and Gerry were both very impressed w/DB’s – particularly with Campbell and Peters. LB is the biggest ? on D – but Ellis stood out
- Interesting to talk to V Browne and M Hankwitz – both made it clear they were embarrassed with what happened late last year
- All external talk about how bad the “D” was down the stretch may be providing the motivation they need internally

 I, for one, am suddenly WAY more excited for 2011! GO CATS!

Thank God, they're back.  As of yesterday afternoon, all 12 (yes, TWELVE!) Big Ten teams have started practices for what might be the most significant (and perhaps wide-open) season in our proud conference's history.  By my count/prognostication, any of 9 different league teams could end up hoisting a championship trophy in Indianapolis on December 3rd, 2012, and for each of the three teams that most likely don't have that shot (Minnesota, Purdue, Indiana) there are very real and legitimate reasons to be optimistic that they'll be bowling this season.

But before discussing and previewing the upcoming season, it's time we look back at a very eventful offseason, and ask a simple question -- who won the offseason in the B1G?

Now, there isn't any set criteria or blueprint for winning the offseason.  The OTE judges were free to consider the entire gamut of events that occurred this offseason -- leaving a terrible conference for a phenomenal one (welcome, Nebraska!), getting stuck with a impossibly difficult schedule in that new awesome conference (hello, Nebraska!),recruiting (the nation's top-ranked QB Gunner Kiel announcing his verbal commitment to Indiana, the ongoing Bubba Starling drama at Nebraska), transfers (Russell Wilson heading to the Badgers), positive coaching changes (Hokemania in Ann Arbor, Kevin Wilson in Bloomington, and Jerry "The Gopher" Kill at Minnesota), negative coaching changes (Zook still having a job, Tressel departing), freakishly scary medical stories that taught conference fans a new word (the rhabdomyolysis outbreak at Iowa), terrible NCAA decisions (denying Purdue's Keith Smith at 6th season), terrible NCAA decisions in the opinion of Ann Arbor (Ohio State not getting a bowl ban/scholarship reductions....yet), getting a program national attention (#PERSASTRONG), new facilities (Iowa's new football facilities set to open soon, Northwestern to announce a facilities overhaul in the coming months), and even continuing to breathe (JoePa's still alive!).

We tallied the votes (12 points for 1st place, 1 point for last), and Off-Tackle Empire is proud to present the "Offseason Winners and Losers" Power Rankings (with comments from OTE Writers on each):

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No! Don't Drown Yourselves in the Urine-Filled Waters of Mirror Lake, Buckeye fans!
2011 Might Not Be THAT Bad!

It's time for a Buckeye Potluck, and things are somber in Columbus (and not just because we used a male cheerleader as our "Ohio State week" picture here at OTE).  With the NCAA investigation/sanctions hanging over Ohio State's head, we even considered making the "Dessert" course a cake with a shiv and a file baked into it, to help Ohio State escape from NCAA jail (and knife USC in the back on the way out)....

Instead, we're going to (largely) ignore the NCAA problems (which we already dealt with in this special "indictment" themed potluck) and move on to more important topics, like profiling coaches by their names to predict their propensity to shoot and/or sexually degrade you, whether a 1-loss season can fail to impress, the punishment for insulting his Holiness Craig Krenzel (truly horrifying), and the most surprising thing you'll ever find in the University of Michigan library (so rare, they only appear during The Big Game). Jump into Mirror Lake below for more....

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