SB Nation User Blog: Chemmy

Komisarek's a Leaf, Montreal: Deal With It

Chemmy — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:26:23 -0000

More photos » by Paul J. Bereswill - AP

FIRE HILLEN

This is the first sentence, unedited, of the Montreal Gazette's article on NHL free agency and how no one has any loyalty anymore:

The comments on Habs Inside/Out began Wednesday morning when word was published on our website that the Toronto Maple Leafs were in the running to sign Canadiens unrestricted free-agent defenceman Mike Komisarek.

I hope the Montreal Gazette is one of those free newspapers that you get at the bus stop because otherwise I take pity on all of its paying customers just like I take pity on Montreal Canadiens fans for being oxygen starved in the womb. Poor fellas never had a chance.

Among the thoughts that avoided our delete key, posted before and after Komisarek signed a five-year, $22.5-million contract with the Maple Leafs:

- "I really don't want to hate Komisarek's guts, but I can see that's where this is going."

Well at least this guy has some sort of editing process. Hopefully after making a "hate list" about Mike Komisarek he came up with some good jabs that we can all have a good laugh about some time.

- "Mike, I wish you all the success the Leafs have enjoyed for the last 40-plus years!"

No. Guess not. Sorry to get everyone's hopes up. If I wanted a 1967 joke I'd put on a tennis skirt, fly to England and ask Damien Cox. He's better at this than the Gazette because he does it every day.

- "Good riddance, Komi. Welcome to hell."

Mystery solved. The place where sinners go to be punished for all eternity has been discovered and it's Toronto. I've enjoyed Toronto every time I've been. Not a lot of motivation to go to church on Sunday anymore really. Maybe the writer got lost and ended up in Ottawa?

A few suggested that Habs heavyweight Georges Laraque should be instructed - ordered, even - to pummel Komisarek, that despicable traitor, during the new Leaf's first shift against his old team.

As a fan of a good old fashioned donnybrook, I too would like to see Georges Laraque try to start a fight with Komisarek and get speed bagged by Colton Orr. Then with the heavyweights in the box the rest of the Leafs will be free to beat up Montreal's Lollipop Guild first line. This is a fantastic plan Montreal, let's get physical.

A few deleted comments indelicately questioned the marital status of Komisarek's parents upon his birth, or suggested that he engage in an activity that is anatomically impossible.

He's not allowed to write that Mike Komisarek's parents may he been unmarried? I have it on good authority (a total guess, hereby known as Montreal Research) that Mike Komisarek's personal life is just fine.

Loyalty to a hockey club is a nearly extinct species in this world of free-agency, with players often short- or medium-term mercenaries who lace up for the team writing the biggest cheque.

Yeah that's sort of the point. You already made a 1967 joke so I sort of assumed you watched hockey since then and are familiar with both free agency and the fact that Montreal doesn't get rights for life to every Quebecois player automatically. If there are any questions or concerns about this recent development please engage in an activity that is anatomically impossible: have someone on the Habs not look like a gutless puke.

But forward Michael Ryder was heckled all season for having signed with the Bruins last summer after he fell out of favour in 2007-08 and was left to take up aeronautical engineering, i.e., make paper airplanes, in the press box. That Ryder had a superb year in Boston this past season did nothing to improve his popularity here.

Does the press box jab at Michael Ryder make you feel better about his 4G 3A 7Pt performance in Boston's sweep of Montreal? Just a thought here but maybe the problem wasn't Michael Ryder... maybe your GM is stupid.

Until yesterday, human gnat Mikhail Grabovski was the most annoying Leafs insect in Montreal since Darcy Tucker, detested for having injured Andrei Markov during the teams' game April 4 in Toronto. Markov was lost for the rest of the season and playoffs, and the Canadiens didn't win one game during his absence.

First and foremost, god bless Mikhail Grabovski's little heart. Second, cram it with walnuts about that Markov shit most playoff teams can lose one player and win a game, it's a team sport not the Dany Andrei Markov show. Third, Mike Van Ryn anyone? The Leafs record after losing Mike Van Ryn was really crummy. Rabble rabble rabble. Anyhow, not to accuse Bob Gainey of letting Ryder go after letting him rot in the press box or taking a second round pick for Grabovski or signing Scott Gomez or anything, because those are serious accusations, but what's that guy thinking?

In closing, I'd like to end this with a plea by Montreal to remember how good they used to be, a la the New York Yankees:

"If the Rocket could come back and relive his life, he wouldn't believe it. But I'll tell you one thing - I don't think he'd leave the Canadiens."

Ha.

Quick Hit: The Leafs' Day So Far

Chemmy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:36:33 -0000

In: Colton Orr, Garnet Exelby, Mike Komisarek

Out: Pavel Kubina, Tim Stapleton

Still Hoping For: Francois Beauchemin

We're getting bigger. Hope you guys are ready for next summer, we're getting better. (Full player profiles to come, honest.)

Poll

How much destruction, on a scale of 1-10 will there be next season?

Free Agency Open Thread

Chemmy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:01:38 -0000

More photos » by Sean Kilpatrick - AP

And I feel bad for taking pens home from the office...

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Gomez to Montreal, Heatley to a private island for the next James Bond movie, the Sedins stay put in Vancouver because they didn't want to move their bicycles.

What will happen next? Who will be moved? Who will sign someone terrible? Who will sign someone awesome? Who underpays? Who overpays? All these questions and more will be debated in profanity laden tirades in the comments starting now!

2009 NHL Draft: Toronto Maple Leafs Select Jamie Devane 68th Overall

Chemmy — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:32:55 -0000

Toronto's third round pick is shown above punching the hell out of Buffalo draft pick Zack Kassian. I think Burke's philosophy on drafting some big boys is a little bit clearer having watched our man speed bag the Sabres' newest player.

He's not just a fighter though, commenter vk88 at MLHS had this to say about Devane:

Hey guys, Devane has won an all-Ontario in Bantam, a championship in midget hockey (point a game player), got 17 points with no power play and fought everyone in the league. He is pedigree champion and a winner. A lot of you will eat your words when he is the toughest sob in the OHL next year and has 60 points to go along with it.

In his first season in the OHL Devane had five goals and twelve assists in sixty four games played. I think Devane's ceiling is a Lucic style player (however unlikely) but he'll probably be a checking line guy who can come in, throw some hits, win some fights and be inexpensive.

Professor Steve looked at Devane's fight card and penalties and had this to say:

He is considered by many scouts to have been the toughest player in the OHL last season, and as a rookie in the OHL he registered 92 penalty minutes in 64 games. Considering 70 of those minutes were from fighting majors, that means he only had an additional 22 minutes from minor penalties over the course of a 64 game schedule. Frankly that’s a good sign that Devane isn’t a dirty player, and he plays a reasonably clean game aside from the rough stuff when the gloves come off.

The Plymouth Whalers' website has an interview with Devane up that based on mf37's "Five Questions" series a lot of you should like:

On his dream goal…

Game 7 of whatever playoffs. Just a garbage goal in front of the net.

He also professed his love for Ray Emery and Pierre McGuire which is a little confusing, but he's a big kid and I fear that if I rip on him too much he'll find me and I'll get Kassian-ed, so good luck on your future endeavours Mr. Devane!

NASTY NAZEM (click to play)

Chemmy — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:34:27 -0000

NASTY NAZEM (click to play)

PPP Montreal Invasion Eve

Chemmy — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:25:57 -0000

More photos » by Graham Hughes - AP

GET US ANOTHER FIRST ROUNDER BURKE

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The Itinerary:

Friday, 4pm - Delta Centre-ville Hotel Lobby

Our hotel is pretty close to the Bell Centre, and will hopefully be less crowded than the exterior of the arena which should allow us to say hello and whatnot without a lot of false positives. I'll make PPP hold up a sign like "In accordance with Megan's Law I'm required to notify you of my intent to move into your neighborhood" so you'll know it's us. From there we'll stampede to the Bell Centre around 4:30 to give people time to arrive.

If you're following Wrap's plan to get draft tickets through the tweetup, they start giving out tickets at three, so you should have plenty of time to get them and meet us. [Directions]

Friday, Post-draft: Hurley's Pub

PPP and I are heading to Hurley's where the other SBNation bloggers will be gathering. You're all welcome to attend. Should be a good time. General mayhem elsewhere to follow. [Directions]

Saturday, 9am - Delta Centre-ville Hotel Lobby

We'll stage out of our hotel lobby again in case anyone didn't find us Friday night or drank so much that they forgot our names and faces. At 9:30 we'll slide over to the Bell Centre for round 2 of the draft.You're on your own after the draft, I plan to go antiques shopping. (Just kidding. Someone call the cops and bail me out if necessary before 7pm so I don't miss the free beer giveaway). From 1-5pm the NHL Tweetup will be going on. I think we're scheduled to make an appearance or something.

Saturday, 8pm: Peel Pub

It's only fitting that a PPP gathering happen at a bar whose initials are "PP". The Peel Pub Presents: Pension Plan Puppets Price-free Pint Partaking Party (The PPP: PPPPPPP). That's right. Show up at 8pm and PPP and I will buy you a beer. There should probably be some sort of legal disclaimer on this but basically if there are any questions or concerns about our offer I hate you. [Directions] *Updated thanks to a kind Montreal fan. I know, he was shocked that he helped as well.

You'll notice that the Peel Pub is on near Rue Ste Catherine, so when we're bored of the Peel Pub we'll go see a donkey show or pay midget strippers to stab each other to death or something, who knows?

Puck Daddy names SBNation Hockey #1 Story of the Year

Chemmy — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:55:49 -0000

Puck Daddy names SBNation Hockey #1 Story of the Year

That's right, we're a pretty big wheel down at the pen factory. As I accept this award I'd like to thank God, Kanye West, Jim down at Panera Bre-

Actually it all comes back to all of you who visit this site every day and make it worth writing things about a crummy hockey team constantly. Thanks to our users, we can't do this without you.

PPP Montreal Invasion

Chemmy — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:45:55 -0000

The Itinerary:

Friday, 4pm - Delta Centre-ville Hotel Lobby

Friday, Post-draft: Hurley's Pub

PPP and I are heading to Hurley's where the other SBNation bloggers will be gathering. You're all welcome to attend. Should be a good time. General mayhem elsewhere to follow. [Directions]

Saturday, 9am - Delta Centre-ville Hotel Lobby

Saturday, 8pm: Peel Pub

You'll notice that the Peel Pub is on Rue Ste Catherine, so when we're bored of the Peel Pub we'll go see a donkey show or pay midget strippers to stab each other to death or something, who knows?

Are the Canadiens Not Approving Draft Tickets for Americans?

Chemmy — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:43:45 -0000

This is a map of the northeast corner of North America:

That circle is centered on Montreal and is a circle meaning all points on the thick black line are equidistant from Montreal. To include Toronto and part of the golden horseshoe inside that circle, we need to extend its radius to 375 miles. You know what else is 375 miles from Montreal? New York City. So why is it that the Montreal Canadiens aren't sending draft tickets to people in America? Their website clearly says:

For your chance to obtain tickets, please register by completing the form on Monday, June 15, between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m available exclusively on canadiens.com . Tickets will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis until all tickets are gone.

Well that's funny, SkinnyFish refreshed their page until the registration box popped up and didn't get an email about tickets, while people who registered afterwards and live in Canada (including people in British Columbia) got theirs. First come, first serve, my ass.

Are the Habs not sending tickets to people who live in America? Their website didn't have a way for us to enter the state we lived in. If you're a New York Islanders fan who wants to see his team pick first overall sorry, Montreal doesn't mail tickets to you folks south of the 49th parallel. What's Montreal's motivation for this? I hope this was some sort of oversight, but since it's unlikely to be corrected this seems like a pathetic move on the part of les Canadiens.

I'll get tickets somehow, and I'll get in to the draft, but I plan to show Montreal how I feel about their "warm welcome" by not buying a single thing while I'm at the Bell Centre, I hope some of you join in too.

Are the Canadiens Not Approving Draft Tickets for Americans?

Chemmy — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:39:44 -0000

This is a map of the northeast corner of North America:

For your chance to obtain tickets, please register by completing the form on Monday, June 15, between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m available exclusively on canadiens.com . Tickets will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis until all tickets are gone.