SBNation.com User Blog: Chiefs Mamba

Glitter Bomb Free Agency and 4 Round Mock Draft

Chiefs Mamba — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 00:45:44 -0000

Here we go ready or not the offseason is fast approaching and there are some key decisions to be made by the Chiefs new staff. I am pretty good at predicting things as some of you now know I am an insider of sorts. If you missed my previous fan post you can view it here. As you can tell I obviously called it. Enough of tooting my own horn here now it's time to get the goods.

Free Agency

#1 I think we have to start in house. Lets get Dwayne "check out the back of my jersey" Bowe signed. I don't know 6 years 60 million. It's not my money what do I care all I know is besides Sean LaChapelle he's probably the best wide receiver in Kansas City history (Otis Taylor is third).

#2 Brendon Albert needs to play guard, and not because I think we need to draft Luke Joeckal but because well I'll explain later just bear with me for now. I do want him signed though. He isn't a pro bowler or anything but at guard he would be. I like Albert, I would say 6 years 40 million.

#3 Dustin Colquitt is a no brainer. He's at times the best Chief in the game. Punters are cheap too so lock him down.

#4 Jake Long, I know he's gotten injured the past couple of seasons but it doesn't scare me off. I think he will probably want Joe Thomas type bread but since he's been hurt we may be able to get him for less. I'd say 6 years 70 million. Some are saying the Dolphins may tag him and then try and trade him. I say we give them our first round pick in 2014 for him if that's the case. Here is a link to an article related to this on the Dolphins site.

#5 Matt Flynn, If John Dorsey is our new GM (and I hope he is) then I wouldn't mind getting Flynn or even if we don't get Dorsey sign him. I've seen him play, albeit just one game he looked really really good. Accurate with a good arm. I would go 2 years 10 million. If we have to trade for him I would give a fifth round pick for the guy with a conditional 2014 second rounder if he starts for 8 games.

#6 Mike Wallace, Okay so we have Bowe, Baldwin, McCluster, and Breaston. I still have high hopes for Baldwin panning out to be something special. Breaston and McCluster I'm not to sure about anymore or am that high on. Andy Reid loves to stretch the field and Mike Wallace is a guy who is proven he can do that. I would give him 4 years for 40 million.

Da Draft (No worries we don't have to go Ditka style here.)

#1 QB Geno Smith. Why, well it's been discussed over and over again that's why. We need to turn over every stone until we find a franchise quarterback that's why. Geno will be a solid pick and he will have Matt Flynn to back him up.

#2A ILB Kevin Minter. I think he's probably the second best inside linebacker in the draft this year. He's a little on the short side at 6'1" but he finished the year with 130 tackles with a whopping 15 for a loss. He also had four sacks. If we got him in the second he would be a steal.

#2B CB Jonathan Banks won the Thorpe award for the best cornerback in football. I think Dee Millner and Xavier Rhodes will go ahead of him though and leave him in the second round. I would rather have Minter but wouldn't be upset with this grab.

#3A CB Tyrann Mathieu guy is somewhat of a risk but he is worth a third round selection in my opinion. I would put him at the nickel spot if we got Banks, or start him opposite Flowers. I would also have him returning kicks and punts.

#3B Ryan Nassib or EJ Manuel maybe even Mike Gleenon. Who knows who maybe down there.

#4 RB Marcus Lattimore should be in the first round but after two ACL surgeries the best back in college football should fall like a fat girl down the draft. I think he would make an excellent one two punch with our boy Charles.

As always thanks for reading.

Free Agency

#3 Dustin Colquitt is a no brainer. He's at times the best Chief in the game. Punters are cheap too so lock him down.

Da Draft (No worries we don't have to go Ditka style here.)

#3B Ryan Nassib or EJ Manuel maybe even Mike Gleenon. Who knows who maybe down there.

As always thanks for reading.

No B.S. No Conspiracy Theory's Just the Fact's Jack.

Chiefs Mamba — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 02:34:14 -0000

I'm about to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about what's been going on inside of Arrowhead. Why Scooter

hasn't bitten the bullet and been canned. That's right folks I've got the juice here, the goods, the apples, the onions, and

the pears. It's juicy, real juicy. There's drama too, not the chintzy day's of our lives stuff but the real deal. So you want to

know what happened well here it is.

Ol' Scooter and Clarkie (as I know them buy, because I'm an insider in all) were out having some scotch and some cigars. Clarkie is super cheap (as some of us are fully aware) and was making Scooter buy all the drinks. Next thing you know some super good looking girls walk up and the competition is on! They both begin to bust one another's nuggets about one thing or another in jest trying to impress the ladies. Clark starts to feel his cognac and starts playing a little hard. Tells the girls that he swears Scott pitches a tent every time, he talks to Matt Cassel and is always commenting about his blue eyes. The girls laugh. Scooter blushes. "Whatever Clark he replies". Clarkie goes on not knowing when to stop saying "Yah Scott's so insecure he bugged Todd Haley's office". Growing in anger Scooter get's on his phone calling a close college friend. Scooter know's Clarkie's weaknesses, it's red headed women with raspy voices. Fast forward to the end of the night they wind up at Scooter's place were a red head is seducing Clarkie hard core. He can't resist. Behind a glass of scotch Scooter smiles. What Clarkie didn't realize is that Scooter bugs everything, even his own house. Someone left a candy wrapper laying around once and that's all it took. Clarkie passed out and the red head walked out. Scooter goes, "Thank's Matt, I mean Mabel, it's Mabel now right?" and hands her/him a C note.

Clark brought Scott into the office around mid season, I lost track of which blowout game it was but Clark fired Scott. Then Scott showed him the file called, Clark and Matt, or Mabel. Clark, cried and then threw up. He was had, (this all really happened by the way) so Clark did what his father would have done, he called Marty TheSchott enhiemer as we (insiders) call him. When Marty heard he was miffed. Told Clark when it was all said and done they needed to get an apartment together. Clark had to set him straight and told him that he wasn't that kind of guy but was being black mailed by the hapless GM, who had a real problem with letting his work feelings and personal feelings about Matt Cassel get in the way of literally everything Chiefs. Marty asked Clark if Lynn still owed him a favor. "Linn who?" Linn Elliot said TheSchott with some coldness to his voice that's who. He owes the Chiefs a bunch of favors.

As I type this up right now Lynn Elliot is on Scooter Pioli's front lawn with a menacing stare and a his kicking cleat on.

Well there you have it. True story folks. That's were the current and future franchise rest's it's on Lynn Elliots kicking leg once again. Ironic isn't it? Hopefully he (Lynn) get's the lab top and access to the cloud in which the backup file has been stored. I personally find it morally apprehensible that Scooter would do that and I think he should be let go because of the bribery in and of it's self. I told Clarkie that if Lynn get's the job done he should get the chance to kick a field goal at halftime to when 10 grand if he can hit it from 30 yards. You know what cheap O'l Clarkie said? "I'll push him to forty yards." (Everyone knows he couldn't hit a 30, man the greed of this guy!)Happy New Year.

I'm about to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about what's been going on inside of Arrowhead. Why Scooter

hasn't bitten the bullet and been canned. That's right folks I've got the juice here, the goods, the apples, the onions, and

the pears. It's juicy, real juicy. There's drama too, not the chintzy day's of our lives stuff but the real deal. So you want to

know what happened well here it is.

As I type this up right now Lynn Elliot is on Scooter Pioli's front lawn with a menacing stare and a his kicking cleat on.