• joined Aug 30, 2010
  • last login May 09, 2013
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Carson Cistulli is a famous American.

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User Blog

To Whom It May Concern, Re: The Hem Of Rob Neyer's Garment

To Whom It May Concern,↵If ever you were interested in touching the hem of ubermensch Rob Neyer's garment, you can probably do it somewhere in Denver tonight — which, provided his Twitter feed is...

Finding: Divorce Leading Cause Of Baseball Nerdery

The suggestion that baseball nerds all live, respectively, in their mother's respective basements is a common one in modern sportswriting. A cursory tour of the internet reveals that the phrase...

Pressing Question: Are Dodger Games A Form Of Entertainment?

If, as the legal disclaimer reads, Dodger radio broadcasts are "intended solely for the entertainment of the listening audience," does this mean that everyone who listens to them (i.e. Dodger games...

Your Daily Affirmation, Courtesy Vin Scully

Quote: "This game will constantly amaze you."↵Source: The 103-year-old Vin Scully, bottom of the seventh inning, Monday's Phillies-Dodgers game.↵

Life Or Death Poll: Is It Okay To Be A Fan Of Two Teams?

This is what's known in the industry as a "life or death poll." What industry, specifically, I can't say for sure — but definitely one of them.↵

The Last Sentence From A Great, Unwritten Speech

"In conclusion, Henry Rowengartner is the name of the character from 1993 film Rookie of the Year, while Henry Darger is the deceased practitioner of what's commonly known as outsider art."↵

Mike Stanton: He Are Who We Thought He Were

Apropos of mostly nothing — besides the fact that I'm just sitting here at this dumb computer box — here's Marlin right fielder Mike Stanton's line this season: 285 PA, .255/.330/.534 (.296...

Wily Mo Pena: Bad Man

Wily Mo Pena hit a home run Friday night (watch) — his second since being recalled from Triple-A three days earlier.↵It's also the second home run of 450-plus feet he's hit in that time — which,...

Baseball Sitcom Idea: Bangers And Mash

Title: Bangers and Mash↵Characters: This one guy with the last name Bangers, this other one with the last name Mash. Other people, probably.↵Backstory: Bangers and Mash are two well-known...

Baseball Personality Test: Scoring At Home

After a slightly unusual play, the broadcaster for your favorite team utters the words, "If you're scoring at home..."↵Your reaction is to:↵(a) Listen carefully and prepare to make the proper...

Charlie Blackmon's Batting Averages Follow Fibonacci-Like Sequence

It's impossible not to see: Rockies sensation Charlie Blackmon's batting averages over the last 10 games very clearly follow a definable integer sequence, not unlike the Fibonacci sequence. Leading...

The Fortune Cookie Game, With Troy Tulowitzki

Play the Fortune Cookie Game with this comment from Rockies play-by-play broadcaster Drew Goodman (from the top of the fourth inning of tonight's game against the Tigers):↵Goodman: "Tulowitzki...

Baseballing Logic Problem

There are 16 games tomorrow (Wednesday), but there're only 30 Major League teams. What's the most likely explanation?↵(a) At least two clubs will engage in a doubleheader.↵(b) Two new teams...

Worldly Baseball Nerds: Tommy Bennett Vs. Jason Parks

Per his Twitter feed, Baseball Prospectus's Tommy Bennett is from Philadelphia, Delaware, Portland, New York, Indiana, Portland (again), Philadelphia (again), New Orleans, and New York (again).↵P...

Mike McCoy: League-Leading Pitcher!

Swinging-Strike Percentage, MLB Average: 8.4%↵Swinging-Strike Percentage, Leader (> 1 IP): Peter Moylan, 21.7%.↵Swinging-Strike Percentage, Mike McCoy on Saturday: 25.0%.↵

Chris Narveson Could Maybe Drive 55

According to real-time Pitch F/X data from Brooks Baseball, approximately half of the 61 pitches Brewer Chris Narveson has thrown tonight against the Cardinals would be under the speed limit on...

The Charlie Blackmon Writing Exercises: Sentence Fragment

A fragment lacks a subject, a complete verb, or both.↵Incorrect: Rockies left fielder Charlie Blackmon. High-fiving Jesus of Nazareth in this amazing piece of art.↵Correct:  Rockies left...

The Charlie Blackmon Writing Exercises: Unnecessary Pronoun Shift

An unnecessary pronoun shift occurs when a writer has been using one kind of pronoun and then shifts to another for no apparent reason.↵Incorrect: When one sees Charlie Blackmon in person, you...

The Charlie Blackmon Writing Exercises: Misplaced Modifier

Check every modifier to make sure that it's as close as possible to the word it describes or to which it relates.↵Incorrect: Sometimes it's difficult for Charlie Blackmon to swing a bat with...

The Charlie Blackmon Writing Exercises: Comma Splice

A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence.Incorrect: Charlie Blackmon is half man, half god, and half other man, that's 1.5 things.↵C...

Hashtag Dictionary: #Therioted

From the Official Hashtag Dictionary:↵#Therioted: To concede a game-tying run in the most miserable possible fashion.↵Look up #Theorioted on Twitter.↵

The Uecker Chronicles: Nyjer Morgan vs. Chris Volstad

Bob Uecker on Nyjer Morgan's career line against Florida Marlin starter Chris Volstad (courtesy of WTMJ-Milwaukee):↵"Morgan is 2-for-12 against Volstad. Two for 13 if you count that punch he...

A Brief Critique Of Cot's Contracts

Watching Yuniesky Betancourt play, it's obvious he has a clause in his contract which stipulates that he must swing at least twice per plate appearance — and yet Cot's Contracts has totally omitted ...

Carnac The Magnificent... On Pants

Answer: The amount of pants.↵Question: What's changed most about sportswriting in the digital age?↵

Headlines You Can Use: Alex Cobb

Tampa Bay's Alex Cobb has replaced Andy Sonnanstine in the Rays rotation and is making his second major-league start this minute. As a service to our nation's struggling dailies, I offer use of any...

The Uecker Chronicles: Uecker Sans Context

The first words spoken by Bob Uecker after the author tuned into this evening's Brewers-Reds game (courtesy of WTMJ-Milwaukee):↵"I'd like to tell that guy what he can do with his tuba."↵

End Times Visits Wrigley Field

This was the scene at Wrigley Field at 12:15pm CT. In other news, the Chicago River is running with blood.↵↵Image courtesy Bucs Insider.

This Is Not A Polish Joke

This happened seconds ago in the White Sox-Blue Jay game currently taking place (image courtesy Yahoo).↵

An Ideal Day For The Baseballing Enthusiast

Scientific evidence reveals that the perfect day involves the following:↵1. Wake Up↵2. Improving Activity (ca. 2 hours)↵3. Watch Excellent Baseball Game (ca. 3 hours)↵4. Food, Beverage, and...

Showing 1 - 30 of 100 Older
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