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It's Valentine's Day, and we here at CN would like to wish you a happy V-Day.

Today, a simple poll for you regarding relationships.

There is growing support for increasing the number of wins that would be required for a FBS college football team to make a bowl game. If a proposal is made and accepted, it would lead to the elimination of some of the college bowls simply because there wouldn't be enough eligible teams to fill them.

What Do You Think About A Proposal That FBS Football Teams Would Need To Have Seven Wins To Quality for a Bowl Game?

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Other SBNation sites periodically run caption contests with amusing photos. We usually aren't that creative to go out and find these photos, but sometimes they just jump out at us.

This is one of those times. Here's a photograph of Doc Sadler in the second half of Wisconsin's 50-45 defeat of Nebraska. What's Doc Sadler talking about? Was it the discrepency in free throws? Wisconsin shot 24, Nebraska shot only two. Or did he have a side bet with Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan on the Packers?

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Ohio State will be naming Urban Meyer as their new head coach this afternoon.

It was first reported than Bo Pelini interviewed for the job, something that Pelini has denied.

What do you think?

If Bo Pelini would have taken that job, Nebraska could have hired Turner Gill!Taylor Johannsen - Currently Member of Thieves Guild

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From time to time, CN likes to take the pulse of Husker Nation. This week's question:

Is There Something Missing from Nebraska Football This Season?

As long as Sexy Rexy is around there ain't nothing missing from this team.I'm thinking endless replays....

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Greetings Comrades!

We're less than 24 hours away from the beginning of the great crusade to Occupy TCF Bank Stadium, home of the imperialist rodents of Minnesota!

We are the 99% that is against the maroon and gold masses. We still join together in a demonstration that shows our collective strength against financial tyranny our willingness to support our football team no matter how outmatched our opponent!

Join me, RED HORDES, while on Saturday morning we march to several bars and restaurants around the stadium to get many beers! (And maybe some bratwurst, a slice of pizza, or some cookies!)

We will march in solidarity to the gates of the giant golden palace of bank sponsorship! We will be in action against the tyranny of the %1 high-ticket prices charged by our opponents even though we keep buying them anyway!

We shall have many discussions, organized around world-changing topics such as:

- When will the Blackshirts get their Black shirts?

- When they going to play Brion Carnes?

- How much did you pay for your ticket?

- Is Bo Pelini taking anti-depressants this season?

We shall fill the stadium with the blood of our rabies and plague-filled rodent enemies tens of thousands of dollars of clothing and paraphernalia purchased solely for showing off how much we love our team! *

All of this shall result in the grand victory when on national TV the announcers proclaim: 

"Look at all that RED! These Nebraska fans sure travel well!"

and then declare the TCF Bank Stadium to be renamed "Nebraska Memorial Stadium North" for a day!

We shall down march forth and claim more beer and brats!!!

OH GLORIOUS DAY, COMRADES!

*Your surest way to get seen on national TV this weekend - an Occupy sign that compares Husker Football with a simile about the economy.

This past weekend the Husker staged the greatest comeback in the history of Nebraska football, but you wouldn't know it by looking at the vast landscape of Husker web sites.

Nah, it's all about the media. Dirk Chatelain, Bo Pelini, Lee Barfknecht, and even Steve Sipple, all locked in a bitter battle to the death over whether it's okay to ask questions about Taylor Martinez' performance at quarterback. (If you're keeping track, it may seem like Pelini is outnumbered, but I'd take him over at least 15 media guys at once. Hell, I'd even bet him against 10 media guys and Ditka.)

Everyone's picking sides. You got those who think Pelini is an embarrassment. You got those who think he's a great coach defending his players. Either way there seems to be a universal complaint about the media that boils down to:

"Do they have to ask so many inane questions?"

or

"Can't they come up with better questions?"

Unfortunately it's very rare that anyone with such complaints propose questions that the media might ask.

Like always, CN is here to help.  We recognize that the media needs our help (and yours) in coming up with better questions.

After the jump is a list of questions the media might consider using at the next Bo Pelini media event, which, by the way, won't be this week since the media has been "blacked out" while Tom Osborne thinks of a clever way to bring everyone back together in a peaceful and harmonious fashion.

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Yesterday on twitter, wide receiver Kenny Bell made it clear that he'd had enough of fans saying (apparently bad) things to him about Taylor Martinez:

KENNY! KENNY! What are you thinking, man?

That's no way to behave, man! You can't go through life slappin' people's faces when they make you angry.

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We first encountered Husker sombrero guy after the Chattanooga game when our guy Dennis Hubbard sent us this photo:

No idea who he is, nor why he's dressed like that at a Husker football game other than he has one damned big red sombrero, armed to the teeth with corn and looking rather cynical about what's going on in front of him.

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Did you see her? She's beautiful! The already retired faster than the new cy-hawk trophy new mascot of the Kansas State Wildcats is a HAWT-EEE! Her name is EcoKat. Not only is she hot, she is uber cool too! She saves the world!

That's right. She is saving the world through environmentalism! Her costume is made of 90% repurposed material. Whatever the hell that means. My spell checker is even yelling at me for using that word. It kinda sucks because this will be the first time I've EVER written an article and have used one of those words with a squiggly line underneath it. It's shameful. But I'll do it for...her.

ANYWAY. I can't be distracted by words because I want to be distracted by that goddess... It's cool and all that she wants people to recycle, but haven't we been doing this for 20 years? I know they are behind the times in Kansas (what with banning the teaching of common sense, err evolution and all), but have they really just started to recycle there? Maybe Bubba Starling stayed in Kansas City because of her.

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Even though it was debunked this morning, there are lots of reports that A&M is leaving today or A&M is leaving this week or A&M is just waiting for the plane from OU to head back to Norman before it would announce it is leaving the Big XII for the SEC. However, I have it on not so good authority that A&M does plan to leave the Big XII, but that it will not join the SEC.

Instead, the Aggies plan on forming a new conference called the "A&M and the 7 dwarfs" Conference. The (un)official press release from the office of R. Bowen Loftin after the jump.

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Did you hear the latest!!!!!

Bo Pelini lost his cool and threatened Bubba Starling! I know it's true because Peter Gammon tweeted it, and then Dirk Chatelain mentioned it including the fact that Peter Gammon is a world class reporter, meaning that he certainly wouldn't get anything wrong or do anything on hearsay or just because his twitter account doesn't have many followers or because the Kansas City Royals have millions at stake.

It's totally believable, too! "Bo Pelini Threatens" is a commonly used phrase everywhere by now just because Bo Pelini is threatening in much the same way that Chuck Norris kicks ass.

It's not a good day until Bo Pelini has threaten something. Sometimes it's not a good day until he's threatened more than once. On the day we followed him, it was a very good day!

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Forget for a minute all about that University of Nebraska being thrown out of the "we're higher and mightier than you land grant institutions are" AAU - The 2011 North American Manure Expo is in Nebraska this year!

I realize that some of you might look down on agriculture, and might consider this some type of hickish gathering, but I ask you  - are there really that many things that are more important than the management of manure? Curing cancer, you might say! It would be great to cure cancer, but as the ancient Chinese saying goes: He Whose House Overflows With Poop Nobody Wants Around. 

Would you really like to be that guy? No, of course not! Manure Management is serious business!

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and when you get a look at the agenda, you'll understand why as a person concerned about poop and a college football fan you don't want to miss it!

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Players To Demand Stipend, Full Scholarship Costs

Upon word of an imminent $3 billion dollar television deal for the Pac-12 Conference, Corey Drees became upset. Drees, a 6'4" 285-pound freshman offensive line recruit to the University of Wisconsin, was incensed with the idea that even though his university will make millions off of him and other college football players like him, he still has to shell out a gob of money for his first-year chemistry books.

"This is ridiculous", said Drees.

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Corn Nation has learned that Nebraska's Prince Amukamara, a projected top first-round pick in the 2011 NFL draft, will attend the Royal Wedding at Westminster Abbey between Prince William and commoner Catherine "Kate" Middleton.

Amukamara, whose name in Nigerian translates to "man of many smiles", received an official wedding invitation last month. The invitation, sent to the Nebraska's Athletic Department and addressed to "The Royal American Footballer of Nigerian Descent", was at first a surprise to the young defensive back.  

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Ari Fleischer served as White House Press Secretary under George W Bush and has since consulted with several sports-related organizations.

The University of Nebraska has announced the hiring of Ari Fleischer to take over football media relations beginning the spring of 2011. The move brings a new era to college sports media relations as Fleischer will handle pre- and post-football game interviews from now on, leaving Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini free to concentrate fully on coaching.

Fleischer's resume' is impressive, having worked as White House Secretary under President George W. Bush from January 2001 to July 2003. Previous to being hired by Nebraska, Fleischer worked as a consultant, working with several sports organizations as part of his firm Ari Fleischer Sports Communications. His clients include Major League Baseball, the Pac-10 conference, the NFL and the Los Angeles Dodgers.

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It was only a matter of time before it came to this.

Students at schools across the Big 12 conference, starting at Iowa State and Kansas State, have had enough of the Big 12 conference's dictatorial ways, taking to the streets in protest against what they call the inequity of revenue sharing in the conference. Things so far have remained relatively peaceful, save for the burning inn effigy of Dan Beebe and University of Texas Athletic Director DeLoss Dodds. 

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Last week the Big Ten conference stated that they'll be keeping the "Legends" and "Leaders" Division names through 2011, stating: 

"Short term there is no plan to change," Chipman said. "They will definitely be utilized for the 2011 football season. It would be impossible to measure their sustainability without using them as they were intended to be used. But like any of our branding or marketing efforts, we will continuously review all aspects, conduct market research and test sustainability."

What Do You Think Of The Big Ten Keeping the Division Names for the 2011 season?

You realize they're going to measure the sustainability of suck, right? Next year if they determine that that their suck rate is 80%, it'll be an improvement over the 90% suck rate that they started with so some marketing guy will figure out that in four or five more years they'll only suck 50%, trending towards non-suckageness because that's how marketing people think.  We'll be stuck with these sucky division names just because someone was too cheap to throw out stationery and start over.

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Have you heard the latest? 

No? 

Well.. it turns out that Bo Pelini's blow up at Taylor Martinez was because he talked to his dad on a cell phone during the Texas A&M game. Bo wants to suspend Martinez for breaking team rules, but daddy Martinez wants to transfer and doesn't want anyone to know that his son is suspended because other schools may not want him as much and then Bo agreed to let him wear a boot and fake an injury and everyone hates Taylor Martinez because he's a prima donna even though just a few weeks ago he was the greatest thing ever in the history of Nebraska football. 

Then they all had sex with cheerleaders?

No. 

So there's no sex with cheerleaders?

No. 

Well, add it, then, BECAUSE WITHOUT HIDDEN LUST AND FORBIDDEN DESIRE THERE'S NO MINI-SERIES HERE, FOLKS. 

Added, sex with cheerleaders. 

It's a go! 

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I've had enough of the respect Texas angle. It was this that finally put me over the edge. 

Osborne said in a statement Wednesday that fans need to uphold their reputation for treating opponents well. He said only positive comments are appropriate in comments to the visitors and on signs fans bring. 

You know what? I have a positive comment. 

I'm 100% positive that Texas sucks. You know why I'm so positive about it? Because they have signs that say it themselves, and pictures don't lie. 

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I'm not too hyped on Taylor Martinez' nickname, "T-Magic". I realize his teammates gave him the nickname, and I know that most fans can fall in love with a nickname, but this one ain't working for me.

I can understand why he needs a nickname. It's because his name is too long. By the time someone says "Taylor Martinez", he's already scored, is done celebrating and they're lining up for the PAT.

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The latest news has Colorado staying in the Big 12 until 2012 so they can avoid losing a lot of money in penalties. Last year they didn't fire Dan Hawkins, mostly because they couldn't afford his contract buyout. 

The University of Colorado clearly has a money problem. How would you solve it? 

They could get the whole football team to go out and sell candy bars or coupons. Worked for our football team - but going door to door kinda sucks.

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CN has learned that the SEC conference may cancel releasing a new iPhone app that was developed to influence fan behavior. Developed by Mangy Dude Software and named Report That Redneck, the app would allow fans to snap photos of rude and unruly behavior with camera phones, then automatically send them to stadium security officials. 

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If Illinois really cares about their football program, the Zooker won't likely be around by the time Nebraska begins Big Ten play. That's a darned shame. As things go, he'll probably be replaced with a much more bland version of himself (redundant redundant!) and the conference will suffer because of it. 

The Zooker won't suffer, though, because he can see your future. He can take one look at you and know what you're all about. After coaching, he could step right in and start a new career as a guidance counselor.

My guidance counselor was worthless and left me wondering how someone got paid for doing nothing (or maybe his crystal ball showed me bound for jail so he figured I wasn't worth the time or effort), but The Zooker could save today's youth thousands of dollars in college tuition by pointing them in the right direction. 

The key here is "pointing them", but not "coaching them", as The Zooker can bring 'em in, but just can't get much out of them after they get there. 

Will he be there for Husker fans to make fun of? I certainly hope so, but if he's not, your high school had better have a plan in place for him. 

I couldn't help but notice that Baylor Coach Art Briles presser at Big 12 media days was cut short. They must have run out of paper. Or ink. Or maybe their quill went dull. 

Q. Art, coming from Baylor, what are your thoughts on the Big 12 being held together verbally and not contractually?

COACH BRILES: Is it not contractually?

You're telling me stuff that I don't even know.

Q. There's nothing holding the league together. It's just the word of the higher-ups.

COACH BRILES: You're on the inside? That's the word through the media? I don't know.

Honestly, that's the first I've heard of that. I'm sure there will be a contract signed. There's people in that room that know that answer.

I mean, where I'm from, verbally works for me. You know what I'm saying? If I tell you I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. You may not have to shake my hand. If you look me in the eye and say, Coach, I'm going to be there at practice, I'm going to expect you to be there. If I tell you, I'm going to go out and buy you lunch today, it's my day to buy lunch, forget your billfold.

So verbal works for me.

Depends on where you're from, though. Some people prefer baling wire. Others prefer duct tape. 

I actually prefer they use bailing wire on my hands and ankles, and duct tape over my mouth. Then they can tell me and I'll do whatever they want. 

PETER IRWIN: Coach, thank you very much.

COACH BRILES: Dan Beebe can be so firm, but gentle at the same time. 

PETER IRWIN: No, no, no. That's it, coach, you're done. 

COACH BRILES: Do I get to see them now, my masters? 

PETER IRWIN: What? No.... wait, yes, yes, Coach, just this way, they're waiting for you. 

COACH BRILES: (Shivers visibly with excitement and exits) 

Before being asked a question Tuesday, Big 12 Commissioner Beebe said: "It looks like there's an elephant somewhere in this room."

Media present in the room laughed nervously at the remark, surprised that Beebe would bring up his massive forehead so early in his presser. 

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"Suh, that dude was a manchild," said a Big 12 opposing assistant coach. "The scary thing is the guy who lined up next to him, Jared Crick, has a different skill set but definitely is as hard to block."    

Definitely, dude, definitely hard to block, that Crick dude. Where's the Cheetos?

Hey, dudes at Athlon. When you're putting your pre-season mags together, make sure you're not contacting anyone in Boulder on 4/20. They're... uh... busy doing something else and not really paying attention to what you're asking. 

National Organization of Women president Terry O'Neill stated Saturday that NOW has requested that former Husker Ndamukong Suh change his name before the upcoming NFL draft. 

"It's too violent" said O'Neill. 

"I understand that football is a violent sport, but the idea that we could be looking at a future NFL star whose name represents a crude instrument of death is more than a little disconcerting to me." 

O'Neill was referring to the fact that "Ndamukong Suh" translated means "House of Spears". 

"What if we have fathers demanding that their sons are named in the same way? Do we really want an America full of boys named 'Nine Millimeter Johnson' or 'MP5 Smith'? That's not a country I want to live in. We'd like him to send a message to fathers that violence should not be tolerated under any circumstance." 

When asked for a possible replacement, O'Neill had a suggestion. "Ndamukong Beludi", which, when translated means "House of Muffins". 

Suh was unavailable for comment as he prepares for the NFL draft, but his agent Roosevelt Barnes dismissed any potential name change, stating "I think he's fine as he is." 

However, Barnes did have  his own suggestion. 

"We (Suh's agents) think 'Ha Suh' would be a good choice."

'Ha Suh' translated? 

Sudden death.