SB Nation User Blog: CornFromAJar

Cool Hand Lane

CornFromAJar — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:39:03 -0000

In the spirit of IS THAT ALL YEW GOT??, I'm hoping for the game Saturday to go a little like the boxing scene in Cool Hand Luke (at a minimum, that is--I'm still holding out hope for an upset). Really there are some parallels between Paul Newman's character and the Vols' coach: Luke got himself thrown in jail for destroying municipal property--cutting the heads off parking meters. Kiffin gained status as public enemy #1 for a series of no less misunderstood albeit crazy stunts himself; even (dare I say) a failure to communicate.

Of course in the end, Luke wins--using skill to outsmart his competitors, even when he has nothing, because sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Well, actually, in the end Luke is shot in the dark, alone in a church window. Still, that's not until after he's made a name for himself--and really that's not much different than what happened to Majors and Fulmer anyway. But I digress. The important thing is, Vols, no matter how many times you get knocked down this weekend, don't listen to those voices telling you to stay down. Look 'em in the eye and say "you'll have to kill me."

And then we gone eat fifty egg.

Of Vanderbilt and Knowing Your Role

CornFromAJar — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 12:34:03 -0000

So it's the dog days, and you've got to get your college football wherever you can, but when I read a line like

The fact that Vanderbilt finished with seven wins is impressive enough, but that it did so in the SEC makes it all the more remarkable.

in what would otherwise be a pretty good preview piece on the NYT's The Quad blog, I gotta call foul. Seven wins by Vandy standards is pretty remarkable, but that includes just a 4-4 record against the SEC, with losses against Mississippi St. and one of the worst Tennessee teams in the last quarter century*. Let's not forget the Dores also lost to Wake and Duke, and let's not forget that against the 3 worst UT teams of the last 20 years or so Vandy is only 1-2, and let's shelve statements like

Now that the Commodores have removed the stigma of 25 straight losing seasons, the program can begin the process of becoming annual bowl participants, a step that starts in 2009.

because there's more than "stigma" at play here. I've long believed that like water, teams have a natural level. Tennessee's natural level is neither the team that lost to Wyoming last year nor 1998's dream season... it's probably closer to what we saw in 2001 or 2007 (but hopefully with more SECCG wins). Vandy's center is closer to "pesky competitor" than "perennial bowl contender."

A recent Braves and Birds post hints at the same idea, saying that teams rise and fall from the status of "elite." I do agree that teams can change their natural level (see over the last couple of decades the fall of Notre Dame and the rise of Florida from mediocre to omgiwishurbanmyerwouldfalldownahole), but I also think Vandy has miles to go and some probably insurmountable steps ahead of them to change theirs.

*Yes I see the irony in baggin on Vandy's season when it was more successful than UT's; I'm talking about results over time.

On Kiffin: You Don't Have to 'Get It'

CornFromAJar — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:10:18 -0000

Recently Senator Blutarsky at Get the Picture and Brian at MGoBlog have said that they "don't get" what Lane Kiffin is doing... or maybe, more accurately, they don't get why Vol fans haven't collectively bound and gagged Kiffin and shoved him in the luggage compartment of the next Greyhound bound for Tacoma. I'll quote from the posts that I'm talking about below, but first let me mention that they bother me because they raise legitimate doubts about what in the world Kiffin is actually doing. Also because they are written by bloggers I respect, rather than the drive-by criticism we see coming from the MSM and faux bloggers yesi'mlookingatyouchrislow.

First, Get the Picture asked

What is it about the Tennessee program that requires its head coach to behave in the way that Kiffin has in order to succeed? Or is this simply an exercise in after the fact justification?

I mean, is this really what Mike Hamilton had in mind when he made the hire?...

If he wins (games, not recruiting rankings), no doubt Vol fans will be thrilled, but what will they be left with if he doesn't grab a few titles?...

If this is such a great approach to resurrecting a national powerhouse, how come the first guy to think of it is a 33-year old whose prior stop as a head coach was a miserable failure?

I'll address a couple of those points in a sec, but first, Brian responded to the final question by saying

True cleverness-see OBC-is apparent. Even if this supposed gambit works in the short run, in the long run Tennessee is going to be seriously hampered by their head coach's lack of intelligence. When the biggest accomplishment you can point to is locking down your hot wife, you have issues.

My retort is that Spurrier's cleverness is/was only apparent because he won games, something Kiffin hasn't had a chance to do yet. A comparison to the OBC is apt only because both Spurrier and Kiffin have a knack for spouting off. Though, if you notice, Spurrier only does so after the fact; I can't think of a single time Spurrier has run his mouth before putting a beatdown on someone, and "you can't spell Citrus..." only has punch if you're going to New Orleans on the regular. So, yeah, the preemptive bravado coming from Kiffin is something new. Does it mean Kiffin is less intelligent, less clever than Spurrier and others? Maybe, but I'm not sure that conclusion can be drawn yet, just as I can't claim Kiffin as a genius, either. At this point I believe the most that can be said is Kiffin shows extreme lack of judgement at worst and gross audacity at best, and we'll have to see how it all works out in a few years.

As to how it will all work out, of course I, like you, have no idea. Kiffin's recruiting machine seems to give Tennessee the chance to succeed but it's no guarantee. Kiffin could sabotage the whole thing with his tomfoolery, and if he does, what we'll be left with (to answer GtP's question) is a few dismal records in the media guide and another coaching search, probably preceded by a new athletic director. We've seen several of our SEC brethren go through the same and live, so that too shall pass if the need arises.

To answer another of GtP's questions: yes, this is what Mike Hamilton expected when he hired Kiffin. The specifics of Pahokee or the spate of secondary infractions, no. But to the extent that Kiffin is pretty much the polar oppisite of Fulmer, I think this is exactly what Hamilton wanted.

Here's the thing: I have no idea if Kiffin will succeed or fail, and that's what makes it fun. Tennessee football hasn't been particularly fun in the past several years. I don't mean the actual games, those are always fun, but the general aura around Vol football had been kind of a downer of late: the forecast for what turned out to be the final Fulmer years was mostly cloudy with a chance of Atlanta. And there's something comforting in meeting expectations, no matter how mediocre those expectations are. But what we're seeing now is that the unknown is exciting, maybe a little scary, possibly even embarrassing at times, but fun.

So you don't "get" what's going on in Knoxville? I don't either necessarily, and I don't really feel the need to. I'm just watching, with more interest than any other time in recent years, and waiting for what's next.

Letter from Mike Hamilton: Introducing Lane Kiffin

CornFromAJar — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:34:25 -0000

Letter from Mike Hamilton: Introducing Lane Kiffin

Hot off the email machine:

Dear Friends,

In early November we announced that Coach Fulmer would step down following the 2008 season. Phillip’s contributions and his legacy at Tennessee will live on for generations and it is important that we remember our history while we look to the future of the Tennessee football program.

Over the past few weeks, we have been on the road meeting with prospective coaches and talking to some of football’s most influential and knowledgeable players and coaches about the future of the Tennessee football program. Throughout this process, I have been continually reminded how great it is to be a Tennessee Vol by the outpouring of support and enthusiasm surrounding our football program.

The history of Tennessee football is made up of great coaches and players alike that have shaped what we know today and determining who would take the place among coaches like General Robert Neyland and Phillip Fulmer was not a burden I took lightly.

Tennessee Athletics is a family made up of student-athletes, managers and trainers, coaches, administrators and you our fans, all working together for a common goal - to be the best. It’s a great honor for me to introduce the 21st head football coach at the University of Tennessee, Lane Kiffin.

Lane was the youngest head coach in modern NFL history, spending the past two years with the Oakland Raiders. Prior to that, he was the offensive coordinator at Southern California under head coach Pete Carroll, where he demonstrated strong offensive prowess as an assistant from 2001-04. He was promoted to passing game coordinator in 2004 and served as offensive coordinator and recruiting coordinator for 2005 and 2006. USC led the nation in offense in 2005 and in both of his years as recruiting coordinator had the best recruiting classes in the nation. Those efforts helped the Trojans to back-to-back national college football championships and produced two Heisman Trophy winners -- Matt Leinart in 2004 and Reggie Bush in 2005.

I hope you will help me welcome Lane, his wife Layla and their two daughters: Landry (3) and Pressley (2) to UT.

Expect to Win!

Mike Hamilton

Dodd: "Tennessee coaching news"

CornFromAJar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:22:32 -0000

Dodd: "Tennessee coaching news"

When is news not news? When it comes from Dennis Dodd, natch.

Neyland Stadium: 'like standing next to the starting line at a drag race...for four hours'

CornFromAJar — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:32:22 -0000

Long time, no see, y'all...

Over at Gerogia Sports Blog, Paul Westerdawg has an interview with former UGa All-American o-lineman Matt Stinchcomb that would be of absolutely no interest to a Tennessee fan if not for the following part of the Q&A:

PWD: What was the worst or toughest place to play?
MS: Tennessee is a really tough place to play as an opponent. I think fans in general don't realize the impact they have on the game, but the fans in Knoxville know their role. Everything at Neyland is enclosed, and you feel like you're inside a tin can. The crowd noise is like standing next to the starting line at a drag race...for four hours. It's painfully, oppressively loud. The only place I played as loud as Neyland Stadium was the Metrodome in Minnesota, and that place has a roof to keep the sound in.

Now if we could just get the whole stadium to make noise... oh, and that double-wave thingy that Joel was talking about, that would be sweet.

Tennessee Football Depth By Class, Take 1

CornFromAJar — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:09:47 -0000

With spring practice starting next week, I thought it would be interesting to look at Tennessee's roster for the 2008 season, formated here by class and position. I think this is pretty accurate, though the projected starters are totally a guess right now. That's especially so at defensive back, where I'd only bet on three things: Eric Berry, Brent Vinson, and Eric Berry.

TENNESSEE FOOTBALL DEPTH BY CLASS 2008
Position	Incoming (c/o 2012)	Freshmen (c/o 2012)	Sophomores (c/o 2011)	Juniors (c/o 2010)	Seniors (c/o 2009)
QB	C. Kelly	BJ. Coleman	N. Stephens	J. Crompton
RB	T. Poole B. Bartholomew	D. Vareen J. Hawkins	L. Creer	M. Hardesty	A. Foster
WR	EJ. Abrams-Ward R. Wilkes S. Fowlkes	A. Paige T. Campbell T. Maples	D. Moore G. Jones	A. Rogers Q. Hancock	L. Taylor J. Briscoe K. O'Neal
TE	A. Douglas		L. Stocker K. Cooper	J. Cottam
OL	P. Bailey D. Thomas C. Anderson	D. Sawtelle W. Brimfield	R. Johnson	J. McNeil C. Scott J. McClendon V. Richard	R. Foster A. Parker
DT	M. Hughes	D. Langley C. Pope	V. Thomas	D. Williams C. Nelson	D. Bolden W. Fisher
DE	W. Bohannon		B. Martin C. Walker	W. Brown G. Williams	R. Ayers
LB	M. Walls A. Johnson H. Lathers	C. Donald	L. Thompson S. Fraizer N. Reveiz	R. McCoy	E. Wilson N. McKenzie A. Myers-White
DB	S. Raines P. Waggner	A. Evans A. Anderson CJ. Fleming	E. Berry B. Vinson D. Rogan	M. Johnson R. Kemp	D. Willingham A. Gaines
P/K			D. Lincolin C. Cuningham		B. Colquitt
returning starters in bold, projected starters in italics

Two things I take from this:

I really like our offense. A lot. The only two things that can slow this offense are total ineptness at QB or some doofus move by Clawson that involves Kenny O'Neal under center. Oh, and o-line injuries. They could hurt.
Want to gaze straight into the cold, deep eyes of the reaper? Cover up the junior and senior columns and glance at the offensive and defensive lines, if you dare. In two years we're guaranteed to be relying on linemen that are either young or terrible, or both.

How about y'all? See anything of note? Oh, and I'm sure the chart as I've presented it is rife with incorrectness. Please shout out any mistakes you catch.

They Keep Using the Word 'Blog' But I Don't Think It Means What They Think It Means

CornFromAJar — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:11:12 -0000

Two items came across my feed reader yesterday that nearly sent me into full Fisk mode again, both of them being more cheap shots and undue criticism of Phil Fulmer. After some consideration I've decided that neither Ron Higgin's latest salvo in his personal war against The Papa, nor this rambling and indirect narrative from Roy Exum are worthy of much deconstruction other than to say "they're here, they're dumb, get used to it."

But I have a hard time resisting the low-hanging fruit, so I will say that of Exum's column, outside of the fact that it's hard to tell whether he's criticizing or supporting Fulmer, he feels it necessary to take shots at blogs for creating an atmosphere in which coaches receive more criticism than ever before. He even finds a way to equate blogs with the KKK. We're straight evil, y'all.

If you're not familiar with Roy Exum, he and his family are former newspaper magnates in Chattanooga. I understand the resentment that many old newspaper types have for bloggers... but because I understand doesn't mean they're right. It's a misunderstanding between what the old-school journalist thinks a blog is and what a blog really is. Too often, the newspaper folks think blogs are trying to replace them; most often though, we're not.

Look at the blogs nominated or winning the College Football Blogger Awards. For the most part, they're not trying to practice journalism. But that's the misconception, that bloggers are amateur journalists. If bloggers are amateur anything, it's along the lines of amateur critics. More than that, though, blogs are about continuing a discussion among fans that used to be limited to the folks immediately around you in coffee shops, barber chairs, and dive bars; but can now be carried on around the world. BTW, that conversation usually starts in the local paper. So when an old newspaper guy like Exum starts by calling out "faceless blogs" and continues

But the Internet, with all these rah-rah sites where you can post any lie you wish, is still unfathomable to me and, to the hatemongers who walk among us, it is better than the day South Central Bell connected the KKK to a party line.

The most unbelievable part of the whole thing is these people are today the very same ones who are gleefully pushing a picture of their own coach, superimposed in police garb, across the Internet with the words "Fulmer for Sheriff" and the vow, "So He Can Be Near His Players."

There is even a national competition on a website called "fulmercup.com" where college football teams across the country are awarded points when players are arrested for off the field incidents. At the end of the season that site, too, names a somewhat dubious national champion.

...it's even more difficult to understand. It's also hard to understand how I've now seen at least three instances of "print media" giving the wrong internet address credit for creating and maintaining the Fulmer Cup; you'd think Real Journalists would do a little fact checking. Also interesting is that Exum's column is posted on Chattanoogan.com, which last time I checked, resides on teh intranets that Exum hates so much. Irony, word.

So, I'm probably not saying anything that hasn't been said before, but maybe needs to be said more often: those of us who "get" blogs and how blogging brings fans together in new and clever ways should be thankful that we have the open mindedness or pure brain capacity or whatever it is that allows us to enjoy new media without thinking that the heat death of the universe will be caused by digital ink being spilled.

And I figure the two-day Stroking of Blogger Egofest is as good a time as any to say it... so there it is.

Sportsline's Mike Freeman: Moron or Cowardly Moron? You Decide...

CornFromAJar — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:04:37 -0000

Ain't no Fisking like a Rocky Top Fisking 'cause a Rocky Top Fisking don't stop!

On Monday, CBS Sportsline's Mike Freeman wrote an article titled "Cuffs click, cell doors slam shut and Fulmer skates by," which outright calls Fulmer the kingpin of the "rottenest, most dastardly [program] ever... an historic abomination."

I can't deny we've had some problems on Rocky Top, I've shared my disappointment over Gerald Jones' pot charge and Joel's voiced his with Britton Colquitt's DUI. Still, I'd characterize these incidents more as "young people doing stupid things" (really stupid things in the case of DUI) more than rotten or dastardly. And "historic abomination?" Bit strong, yes?

For my part, the egregious nature of Freeman's article will not stand. Not because it trots out opinion dressed as fact (which it does) or because it comes to the party way late (calling out Fulmer for basically the same stuff Adams did last week, and making charges that Fulmer has already defended himself against before Freeman ever sat down to drivel out this tripe). The point of the article was at least in part to be so incendiary that it can't be ignored. And it is. In fact, that's the only thing Freeman did right.

Ok, maybe that's not fair, Freeman does demonstrate ability to use a thesaurus, at different points characterizing the behavior of Tennessee players as "scrofulous ruthlessness" and "scabrous acts." I fully plan on using "scrofulous" at my earliest opportunity.

However, the biggest error made by Freeman is in trying to be relevant and funny... and failing miserably in both. Want bad pop culture references and weak, played-out jokes? Freeman's got 'em:

So let me get this straight. The NCAA is the catalyst behind the firing of Indiana's Kelvin Sampson for making too many phone calls but does little to stop the felony-riddled reign of Phil "Chancellor Palpatine" Fulmer...

For the record, the Palpatine line wouldn't have been so bad, but Freeman went to it twice, shredding it's already paper-thin relevance. We continue...

[Of Britton Colquitt's DUI hit-and run:] The punter allegedly bolted from the accident. Who says punters aren't real athletes? Probably ran so fast the police put out an APB for Deion Sanders.

I can't imagine what it takes for Fulmer to toss someone off the team. A meeting with the Taliban? Eating someone's liver with fava beans?

Over the weekend, Darren McFadden ran a 4.27 at the NFL Combine. Freeman's article published Monday. The most current fast-guy he could come up with was Deion Sanders? Has this Freeman watched sports in the last ten years? (or, like, the news? or a movie?)

Fulmer's track record in this area is extensive. He leaves a trail of player arrests, DUIs and serious crimes in his ample wake yet suffers no significant penalty for running the 21st-century version of The Mean Machine.

Guess not! Nice fat joke, too. I thought "journalists" were supposed to be above that sort of thing? But we haven't seen the masterstroke yet:

The motto of the Tennessee football program: If the players commit, Fulmer will acquit.

He went OJ on us! Seriously, Holmes... OJ? Weaksauce.

Look, if you want to make fun of the legal problems Tennessee has had, go ahead -- lord knows we've earned it. Just, if you're going to do it, make it funnier than the Fulmer Cup (good luck). At least what Orson concocted objectively points out what we already know: that lots of programs have lots of kids doing things they shouldn't do.

But to straight-faced state that what's happening in Knoxville is worse than what's happening at many other schools, or what's happened in the past, or that it's being ignored at best and orchestrated at worst by the head coach (a man I'd wager Freeman hasn't talked to for five minutes in his life) is utter folly. And to regurgitate and hyperbolate police blotter into The Worst Thing That Ever Happened is borderline lazy.

The last clue that this Freeman cat is disconnected from anything resembling current reality is one of his closing lines:

Where are the Tennessee professors and administrators? Why aren't they raising bloody hell over what's happening at their school?

Simple: because they know what's happening at their school is no different that what's happening at every other school. And I'm not talking about athletes getting in trouble. Fightin', smokin', and drankin' are all pretty common -- and relatively accepted -- on college campuses in the student body at large. Freeman wants the NCAA to step in and try to control the behavior of student-athletes, but what about the student-students? Should they skate on "scrofulous ruthlessness" and "scabrous acts" because they can't clock a decent 40 time?

What Freeman really wants here, I suppose, is a change in the culture of college campuses. A noble request to be sure, but one that is both unlikely and difficult to construct a reasonable argument for. So instead, he takes the easy and highly clickable route of taking potshots at Fulmer. Unoriginal, unfunny, lazy potshots.

Two words, Freeman: Epic fail.

Update [2008-2-26 20:22:15 by CornFromAJar]: Turns out SMQ wrote this first and wrote it better; read it here. Orson also had his say. Keep it coming, any hatchet thrown at Freeman shall not be thrown in vain.

Jumping Thru Hoops: Vols See Same Ol' Vandy, Brand New Buckeyes

CornFromAJar — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:41:15 -0000

Oooh, logo. Hey, it only took a little more than a month to do another one of these; that's progress, baby!

Inane Basketball Commentary

In the first two weeks of conference play, Tennessee has seen and beaten the two teams most likely to challenge them for SEC supremacy (Ole Miss and Vandy). They've done it without Chris Lofton looking like the Discombobulator he was last year. They've done it while breaking in new faces in new places. They've done without chemistry being a deterrent, despite going 9 or 10 deep and rotating lineups. In fact, chemistry seems to be great with this bunch -- perhaps because this team plays so fast, everybody gets their touches?

But that's the good news. The bad news, if you want to look for some, is that SEC play is a long road. What if the chemistry sours? What if egos start popping up? What will happen when this team goes to Rupp and Memorial and the O-Dome and the Hump? There are a lot of challenges ahead of this squad, and how they hold together through those challenges over the next few weeks will tell a lot about them.

As for right now, I'm still enjoying Thursday's beatdown of Vanderbilt and looking forward to Saturday's game against Ohio State, in part because I'm going (it will be my only trip to Thompson-Boling this year) and in part because I want avengement for last year's losses to the Bucks. For anybody lucky enough to have forgotten, last March's loss to Ohio State ended something like this:

And even though this isn't the Greg Oden-Mike Conley version of tOSU, maybe the chance to see scarlet and gray will help these guys Remember the Alomodome.

Prediction vs. Reality

Measuring how the Vols have fared in the last five games against how some really smart computers (Sagarin, Pomeroy) thought they'd do, and what the really smart computers think about the next five. Chartage:

Overachiving. mostly, and predicted wins in the next five games (at this point, the only team Tennessee won't be favored against is Memphis). Good things, no?

Bruce Pearl's Guide to Style

With Thursday's beatdown of Vandy, Bruce Pearl is now 6-3 in the Orange Blazer.

Yes, coach, that's six wins.

Discombobulation Watch and Fancy New Blender

We've been waiting all year for a Discombobulatory performance from Chris Lofton, and although he hasn't reached that level yet this season, we do have another nickname torch that has been passed on.

During Thursday night's beatdown of Vandy (I just like typing that), ESPN's Jimmy Dykes labeled Tyler Smith as Tennessee's "blender" as the one who shakes things up and makes it come out smooth -- the same title he gave to Dane Bradshaw a year ago. There were many other comparisons between Bradshaw and Tyler throughout the game, and I can see it, though T. Smith is way more talented (and I don't mean that as a slight on Dane).

So, yeah, from now on, Tyler Smith is our fancy new orange blender, like the one pictured at right. BTW, I totally want one of those.

Miscellany...

If you're a fan of the circus, you may want to check out the post-beatdown varying levels of dismay over at Vanderbilt Sports Line, I'm pretty sure all the stages of grief are in the comments there ... The BruceBall Blog points out UT's defensive efficiency, including how the Vols held the SEC's second-highest scoring team to just 60 points ... tOSU previews at The O-Zone and College Hoops Net, also use this Google search link for more as the game approaches ... last but not least, Go Vols!