I live for this, for MLB,
For every inning of sanctity,
For every pitch, for each at-bat,
Revering the talent beyond the stats.
I live for the scent of old leather mitts,
I live for the cadence of the walk-off base hit.
I live for the moment when winter gives way,
To the unmatched thrill of Opening Day.

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Pre-season is still "season," in my head. So I'd like to abolish the "pre" prefix, to assert myself strongly in the belief that baseball starts at 1:05 today.

Good God, it's about time.

Today, Chad Gaudin gets the ball against Paul Maholm, who may look back on this game as the most hyped and significant game of his career.

Chad Gaudin, who mercifully has been identified as the Yankees' 5th starter (as opposed to the We-have-3-working-pitches-between-the-2-of-us-do-with-that-what-you-will pair of Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes), gets charged with throwing the first pitch of the Yankees' season.

Of course.

A few points about Gaudin:

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I feel like Dr. Jones after Short Round takes him out of his trance in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom." Like the off-season was essentially that hypnosis poison they made everyone gulp right before the heart-getting-ripped-out-chest hijinx ensued:

"They make me drink the blood of the Kali. Then I'll fall into the black sleep of the Kali Man. I'll be alive...but like a nightmare. You drink blood, you not wake up from nightmare."

That's what the last 105 days were like. A nightmare. A black sleep of baseball-less perdition.

And then Pitchers & Catchers Day rolled up with a fiery torch and brought me back to sublime consciousness.

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I wrote this when I finally got out of bed circa 2:30 in the afternoon.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

My fellow crazies and I were out celebrating the World Series Championship of the New York Yankees up until about 7am. None of us wanted the night to end.

Ball game over. World Series over. Baseball season over.

Listening to asinine hating anti-fans drop the "who's won more in this century" over.

Having to hear people say they "can't wait til the Yankees choke" over.

First year at new stadium over.

Nine years without a ring over.

Ball game over. The Yankees win.

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"Have you ever seen Gattaca?"

"Um. Oh. Yeah. With Halle Berry?"

"Huh? No..you're thinking of Gothika. Wait, you've seen Gothika?"

"No."

"Then why did you say--ok, nevermind, the point is, there's this part in the movie where these 2 guys, who always have these swimming competitions with each other, are like treading water in the middle of the ocean, and one guy says, 'How did you do it? How do always, always beat me?' and the other guy says, 'You know how I did it? I never saved anything for the way back.'"

That was a conversation I had with my sister after Game 5.

The Yankees don't need Game 7. The 2009 baseball season ends tonight.

Put everything in. Andy Pettitte with short rest. Pedro Martinez with long-history. A Yankee line-up whose made a living just-besting their postseason opponents. A fanbase that's teetered on nerves, anxiety, but always hope.

A team that's been waiting for this for 9 years.

Never save anything for the swim back.

Because it ends tonight.

November 4, 2009.

11/4.

If the Yankees win tonight, their postseason record is 11-4.

And it will be their 114th win of 2009.

The only people who should be worried right now are Phillies fans.

Ahh, much better.

The Yankees beat the Phillies in a much-needed, if technically not "must-win" Game 2, with A.J. Burnett outdueling old friend Pedro Martinez.

The Phillies took an early 1-0 lead in the 2nd with an RBI single from Matt Stairs, but the Yanks answered in the 4th with a solo shot from Mark Teixeira. Two innings later, Hideki Matsui went yard to give the Yanks a 2-1 lead, and then they collectively abandoned the longball game in favor of the small ball one.

If we had lost that game, I would have undoubtedly been arrested, and they would have needed dental records to identify the first base ump's mangled body.

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Let's see...in the last 24 hours, I've:

• Thrown a pen at a Red Sox fan because he said, "I'm loving the way this series is going."
• Told my buddy to go to hell when it came to my attention he bet on the Phillies to win the whole series.
• Took a leave of absence from my best friend/sister for texting me during the game.
• Changed the M and N on my coworker's keyboard because he said, "They lost BAD last night, huh."

And still none of these behavioral monuments to lunacy are as ridiculous as Pedro Martinez saying "Any time I hear that, 'Who's your daddy?' it reminds me that God is my daddy. It gives me strength. It keeps me strong and healthy, and I believe I can do anything."

So, if we consider that it was only 5 years ago that Pedro claimed the Yankees were, in fact, his daddy, by the transitive property, we can infer that Pedro thinks the Yankees are God.

Here we go. Game 2. Not a must-win situation, so I won't call it that. The Phillies send our boy Petey to the mound, who hasn't pitched in the Bronx since his Mets days in 2005. According to him, he's "older and wiser" which should bring his overall net intelligence to around sea level now. A.J. Burnett gets the nod for the Yanks, and I have this weird feeling that our boy is going to stun us (in a good way.)

The Phils are good. But the Yankees are the Yankees. And that's all you need to know going into tonight. Let's get 'em back, NY. This series is ours.

I can't do this.

I blame my sister for this one, actually, who decided a good time to pick a fight would be the second inning of the f'n World Series. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T DATE ANYONE DURING  BASEBALL.

Ugh.

How much more do you need to know here? The Yankees got shut down by Cliff Lee. CC Sabathia let up 2 solo homeruns to Chase Utley and Chase Utley. David Robertson, once the Houdini of bases-loaded-jams, gave up a base hit in the 8th to Raul Ibanez to make it 4-0.

Then Ryan Howard doubled in the 9th for 2 more runs. A couple of meaningless baserunners in the the bottom of the inning allowed Derek Jeter to score, but it was too much for even the Yanks to overcome.

We lost out first game at home.

A.J. Burnett better rip the Phillies a new you-know-what tomorrow.

Til then...

It's almost surreal. I can't believe that in mere hours I'll be watching the New York Yankees in the World Series. I'm strangely calm, which means that it's all going to catch up to me about 2 minutes before the National Anthem is sung. Fortunately, I'm prepared.

Tonight, our favorite round boy and ALCS MVP CC Sabathia (3-0, 1.19) goes up against superace and ex-teammate Cliff Lee (2-0, 0.74) for a match that walked straight out of Type Casting for Mega-Pitching-Duel. The AP so insightfully informs us that the two hurlers have more in common than we may think:

"Teammates only 16 months ago, Lee and Sabathia have more in common than their Cleveland history and potent left arms. Their families are friendly, and they still text each other often."

Wow, they're practically clones.

CC hasn't had the most success against the Phils (1-2, 5.55), but then again, it seems like the baseball world has been scoffing left, right, and center at history this year. Lee isn't striking fear into the hearts of most NY fans either, though. In 12 IP, he's let up 16 hits, with Yankee hitters boasting a .320 BA against him.

Lee's the type of pitcher the Yanks can work from both ends--his control is subject to variability, and he has too much faith in his completely hittable fastball. If they jump on those 2 weaknesses, the Phillies aren't gonna know what hit 'em.

This year, the Yankees are 1-2 against their "Liberty Series" counterpart, but I think we can agree that the Late May Yanks are a far cry from this Late October one. Much has been made of the Big Bad Bats decorating the Philly line-up, but technically Ryan Howard and Chase Utley don't bat 9 times in a row.

And, most importantly, this is the Bronx.

And I think Reds' manager Dusty Baker sums it up pretty well here:

I’ve lost in Yankee Stadium as a Dodger and won in Yankee Stadium as a Dodger. It can be done, but you don’t want to be in a position where you have to win there. They just believe they are always going to win, the players believe it, the fans believe it.

They brain wash you. They put all those great moments in Yankees history on the scoreboard during batting practice. The highlights are great and the Yankees are just killing teams and you have to watch it for two hours. You can’t help but see it. It's just not conducive for visitors.

They wanted to take that vibe and that history from the old stadium and bring it to the new Yankee Stadium and with the success they are having it appears to have worked. I remember when Aaron Boone hit that home run off Wakefield to get the Yankees to the World Series in 2003, Derek Jeter had told him not to worry that the ghost will come.

So the Ghost of Babe Ruth may be a curse to some but he’s been good for the Yankees.

Scared yet, Philly?

The 2009 ALCS and 2004 ALCS are practically mirror images of each other.

Indistinguishable.

Talk about carbon copies! I haven't seen this level of uncanny similarity since watching Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes in White Men Can't Jump.

Yeah, that's about how alike these two series are.

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I guess it makes sense...

7-6.

#65 gets the win.

#65 gets the loss.

In game 5.

Thanks to a 4 run 1st.

From #34.

And a 3-hit game.

From #41.

And a final out from #33.

On the 22nd.

See ya in the Bronx, kids.

Do the gory details need to be relived?

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The more I think about it, the more I'm relieved the Yankees didn't beat the Angels on Monday. Because being up 3-0 would have undoubtedly cued a barrage of clips from The Unspeakable Year. And if they had won 3, then lost 1? Forget about it, the sports world would have had a veritable field day predicting "Here we go again!"

But that's not the case. The Yanks have Anaheim right where they want 'em: 27 outs away from the final hurdle in the Road to 27. A.J. Burnett (13-9, 4.04) gets the honor of trying to close out this series, while John Lackey (11-8, 3.83) gets the chore of trying to avoid headlining Anaheim's season swan song.

Burnett, who I assign a generous helping of credit to for lighting a fire under this team's ass, is too much of a pistol to not rise to the occasion here. In his last start, he let up 2 earned runs and 2 unearned, with his wild penchants discernibly surfacing before getting pulled. Lackey got worked in Game 1, giving up 9 runs and 4 runs over 5.2 IP.

The Yanks won't be able to rely on their sit-on technique that worked like clockwork again Scott Kazmir: Lackey's a 1st-pitch-strike kind of guy (my head is already hurting from T-Mac and Buck marveling at this for about 89 mentions.)

This also might be a good time for Mark Teixeira flex his offensive muscles and break out of his .133 postseason freeze. #13 can only compensate for his buddy's sleeping bat for so long... As for predictions, I think #34 delivers us to 4-3 final tonight, giving the Yanks their 40th pennant with a 4-1 series victory. All on the eve of #41's 31st birthday. 

LET'S GO YANKEES. THE TITLE AWAITS!

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Man, it's cold out. When I started this whole watching-the-Yankees-bat-from-outside ritual, it was a 65 degree situation. But right now, my digits are creamsicles as I'm typing this. So when I think of the fact CC Sabathia went 8 innings and let up 1 run, I'm more in awe of him, his fat, and this team than ever.

The Yankees beat the Angels 4-1 tonight, thanks to Porky's 7K gem, unrelenting bats against John Lackey, and 3 errors--THREE--from a team that hasn't logged an error since the Cowboys dynasty.

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I guess this is what it's like in the 36th week of pregnancy.

Irritable, irrational, and impatient. You're constantly governed by an "any minute now" state of mind. And when that moment finally does arrive, it just gets more chaotic...more emotionally and physically intense.

Newborn. Rain. Same difference.

Tonight, we fight. If we beat the age-old battle with nature, then the Yankees take on the Angels in the Bronx with super-ace CC Sabathia (19-8, 3.37) facing basic-ace John Lackey (11-8, 3.83). I may or may not be overreacting a little (which should come as no surprise) when I say that the series is hinging on what happens tonight and tomorrow. As Scioscia noted (ok, joked): "Maybe we're going to face CC seven times this series. It depends on how much rain we get."

He really shouldn't kid around about stuff like this. Tubbo's ERA against the Halos is of equal obesity (0-2, 6.08 with LA batting .321 against him.) In Lackey's 1 start against NY this year (which apparently was enough for him to be regarded as a Yankee killer) he let up 2 runs on 6 hits over 7 IP. He's got a good arsenal, for certain, but I see him hanging just enough breaking balls to get him burned by our lefties.

Some additional points to consider:

• Happy 6th anniversary of Aaron Boone Day!
• If the game is postponed, our 3-man rotation takes a hit. Since the scheduling implications have already been discussed exhaustively, I'll just point out 1 other devastating consequence: the re-visiting of the Joba Chamberlain Starter/Bullpen Debate.
• Out of curiousity, why is Joe Saunders Game 2's starter?
• Also out of curiousity, 7:57 start time? To be a fly on the wall of the corporate meeting that brainstormed this...
  

So now we wait. Wait to play, wait to know. Wait to fight. It's like fate is manufacturing drama to compensate for the lack of Red Sox rivalry chatter. I'm not amused, fate.

Give 'em hell tonight, Yanks.

I cannot believe what the hell just happened.

My hands are still shaking.

My heart may or may not be fighting the good fight against certain cardiac arrest.

I feel my head could pop off my body, either from light-headedness or excitement or sensory overload (because, ya know. That's the normal consequence...)

The Yankees just beat the Twins in 11 innings, off the bat of Mark Teixeira--his first walkoff in pinstripes, the Yankees' 11th postseason walkoff.

You know how this recap started? At 9:08pm I sat down at my desk and wrote the following:

I had forgotten what this feels like. I hated watching other teams play in the postseason last year. I was so jealous. And now I remember how miserable it is. It's only one loss, but I feel like I lost a limb. I can’t go out, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I just want to curl up in a ball until Sunday comes.

Now? Well, the prospect of recapping the last 5 hours of my life is a little more palatable right now:

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(On 10.09.2009! More number fun! Though I may be playing it a little fast and loose with the word "fun" right now..)

It doesn't get any easier from here on out. I don't know who I'm referring to right now--the Yankees' battle with the Twins, or my stomach's battle with overwhelming anxiety and nausea.

On Wednesday, the Yankees took Game 1 of the ALDS with the help of CC Sabathia's 8K brilliance, and pouncing on the inadequate rest of a fatigued Twins' line-up. (I think that's the last I'll mention this little leg-up the Yanks had. Because I'm growing a bit aggravated with all the haters rationalizing that we had an unfair advantage. Life's not fair. One word: midges.)

Tonight, we're all on even ground (sleep-wise, anyway), with A.J. Burnett (13-9, 4.04) making his postseason debut against Nick Blackburn (11-11, 4.03). The way people talk about AJ, you'd think he was a call-up from the A's farm system or something. From what I can tell, he's a pretty good pitcher. The only, ONLY, thing I'll concede is that he may or may not be one of those one-extreme-to-the-other type arms.But for my money, I trust him--Jose Molina or not, AJ's too much of a manic nutjob to be complacent about feasting on the Twinks tonight.

Blackburn has been fantastic for the Twins down the stretch, winning his last 4 starts while posting a 1.65 ERA. Apparently, he's known as a "big game pitcher," proving once again that "significant sample size" is not a phrase in analyst lexicons. In 4 starts against the Yanks, however, he's 0-1 with a chubby 5.89 ERA. His control is excellent, his power unremarkable.

Which is EXACTLY the kind of pitcher that terrifies me.

I hope Kevin Long held some after-school study sessions on the Art of the Offspeed Pitch. We fans are the only people who should be dominated by instability right now...

My hands have been shaking all day. And probably will continue to do so for the remainder of the postseason. I've been reduced to little more than a teething infant.

And it's only Game 1.

Tonight, the Yankees pit their best and widest CC Sabathia (18-8, 3.37) against the Twins 3rd best, 3rd blandest Brian Duensing (5-2, 3.64), whose history against New York is less than terrifying (2.2 innings of relief, 13.50 ERA, 53 pitches.) As unintimidating as these numbers are, the intimidating levels of the number 5 eclipse this. As in, 5-game series. I hate the ALDS.

DON'T BE OVEREAGER. Not that I'm one to talk, but let's stay level-headed [read: sit on pitches, wear him out, tee off].

This series is going to be decided by how well Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira, and our 1-2-3 starters fare. Simple as that. Call it momentum or energy or fire, but as invigorating as their 12-inning walk-off win may have been for the Twins last night, the Yankees are pushing a power play on them. This is the absolute most prime opportunity to capitalize on their full-rest and the Twins unquestionably worn off staff.

I'm going to go quietly sip gin in the corner of my office now. One fluid ounce for every time I have to read "$161 million" attached to CC's name.

Was it me, or did the Yankees seem a bit off tonight?

Hard to put my finger on it exactly, but something was amiss. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say my eyebrow started to raise when CC Sabathia let up about 8,910,266 runs in the first hour of the game.

Seriously, what can I really say about this one? To be completely honest, I didn't have the heart or stomach to chain myself to the YES network. for this one, especially with the Rangers (of the hockey persuasion) opening up tonight. The whole "had to watch, like a car wreck" concept never really made much sense to me. I don't want to see a car wreck on the highway, and I don't want to see one on the mound.

Since there are no highlights to speak of, this will be quick...

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Where would this team be right now if we hadn't made the offseason acquisitions that we did?

Can we even begin to measure the value of players like Mark Teixeira, A.J. Burnett, and--my personal favorite--CC Sabathia?

Say what you will about the "Yankees buying their team" etc, but in my humble opinion, money was never better spent. (Well, with the possible exception of Daisuke Matsuzaka, of course.)

Tonight the CY Young contending bear of a southpaw (19-7, 3.21)takes the mound for the final time before he'll open Game 1 of the postseason next week. The past few games have featured hybrid lineups of young call-ups and regular starters, with the final score playing a secondary role to rest, pitching "practice," and overall game tune-up.

Not tonight, though. Girardi has asserted that they're playing for the win to give the big guy his 20th of the season, which would make it the first of Sabathia's career. The Rays send impressive rookie David Price (9-7, 4.60) to face the daunting Yank line-up that's posting a .299 BA in the last month. Price's stuff is straight up filthy--might not be a bad way to jolt the Yanks back into hardened drive in the last series of the season...

We're in the final stretch. Set the gearshifts to high gear.

There was no better testament to what's seated at the forefront of Yankee fans' minds then when Nick Swisher very awkwardly misplayed the fly ball that scored the go-ahead run:

A month ago, the bar would have thrown its hands up in aggravation. Typical Swish! Bobbles the cans of corn, nails the web gems! Grumble grumble. Get your head in the game, boy.

Tonight? Me and the bartender shouted in unison: "DON'T GET HURT!"

At the risk of sounding like a Second Play Red Sox fan who's been bitterly arguing for the last 2 weeks that these games are meaningless, I will say that losing the last home game, in a game we could have won against the Royals, with a loss that snapped a hot winning streak...actually didn't get me too riled up tonight.

There was, of course, the requisite sting. But after briefly commiserating with the other Yankee fans populating the bar, the consensus was a resounding: "I love this team. And their biggest games are still ahead of them."

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So this was the master plan all along, huh, Joe? The nebullous parameters of the Joba Rules, the sometimes shady secrecy of it all, the constant crap shoot of his efficacy in each start...I hope you realize--and I think you probably do--how much polarizing discord Joba has engendered among Yankee Universe. The mere mention of the bullpen vs starter madness was the equivalent of dropping a Mento into a Diet Coke.

And here are are. Joba Chamberlain (9-6, 4.72) takes his last regular season start (and possibly his last start of 2009?) when the Yankees try to sweep the Royals and extend their W streak to 8. He'll be facing Robinson Tejeda (4-2, 3.41) and, like A.J. Burnett, needs a repeat performance of greatness. I'm gonna recall the same philosophical tenet that I did in July: "We are what we repeatedly do."

Joba's first career start was against the Royals, on June 8, 2008.There's a certain poetic symmetry to this start. According to Girardi, Joba wasn't "read the riot act" (per se...), but he alluded to a stern talking to with a basic "get your head out of your ass" theme. I think Girardi finally figured out what the most effective Joba Rules really are: discipline. Maybe scare tactics, too.

Let's go, Yankees. And DON'T. GET. HURT.

(PS The Yanks won last night on a walkoff shot off Kyle Farnsworth's leg. Bears repeating. In these final 4 games of the season, I'm now half expecting them to see how far they can push the envelope in terms of unlikely wins. I love this team.)

For the last few days, all I've been hearing about is how afraid we should all be. How very afraid. Our pitching is billed, as usual, as questionable. The Red Sox are billed, as usual, as the indestructible wild card.

Talk is cheap. This year's Yankees aren't cutting corners to sneak wins in. They're where they are not because of any one player, but because they adapt their game based on the challenges they face. Our team demonstrated that tonight when they left Boston reeling with an unrelenting attack that barely gave their division rivals a chance to come up for air.

It took me about 4 innings to realize what was going on with the pitching performances. Joba Chamberlain and his unprecedented unpredictability were zipping through innings with such economic deftness that I was starting to think he either had a date waiting for him, or just really needed to use the bathroom. Conversely, Jon Lester was uncharacteristically awkward, uncomfortable, and stilted. I think it's pretty obvious what happened here...

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Things Joba Chamberlain (8-6, 4.73) can do to establish a certain degree of comfort regarding his utility in the postseason:

1.) Nothing

Items #2 and #3 on the list also happen to be "nothing."

For the sake of chipping away at the magic number, I'd love to see him turn the Sox on their heads and magically mystify them with his slider that has seen more play than a viral youtube.com video. Acually, I think there are very few people in the free world who Joba hasn't pitched his slider to.

There's an equal amount of people who have been able to tee off on Jon Lester (14-7, 3.33).

Tonight, the Yankees host the Red Sox for their last regular season meeting. The Yanks maintain a 5.5 game lead on the Sox, but more significantly, their magic number of 5 means that a sweep clinches the AL East division. (And most significantly of all, they clinch in front of Boston. Small, but palpable vindication.)

The Yanks tend to work overtime for Joba in terms of run support, and I'm looking for a big game from Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira. The question of the hour: what's more intimidating and what's a tougher nut to crack? Jon Lester's paralyzing curve ball...or the Yankees' merciless line-up? My money's on the latter. Let's go, New York. Throw a vat of hydrochloric acid on their psyche.

EXACTLY what we needed. On all fronts.

The Scranton Triple A New York Yankees beat the Angels today, taking 2 of 3 in Anaheim for the first time since 2004. They can beat anyone, and have. Once again, Girardi demonstrated a method to his madness. With Alex Rodriguez, Nick Swisher, Johnny Damon, and Jorge Posada notably absent from the starting lineup, the task of detaching the leech-like monkey on their backs fell on the shoulders of the B-listers.

Well, the B-listers and more importantly, AJ Burnett, who's been the subject of rampant chatter regarding his reliability come postseason. If I had to read one more iteration of "mounting concerns over starter Burnett who was acquired in the offseason for $82,500,000 and who's 1-5 with a 6.14 since the start of August," my head was going to fall off and/or explode.

I guess AJ felt the same because in his last 2 starts, he basically looked around, scowled, and hissed, "Take notes, %^&holes."

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I am so happy to see the west coast games come to an end, that I swear to God I have that "ahh just one more day" Friday-esque feeling...about Wednesday. Because on Thursday, the west will be behind us. The Yankees will be back in the Bronx. And I can spend the day recharging the batteries in anticipation of the Red Sox weekend.

But first, there's Hump Day, aka the rubber match between the Yanks' A.J. Burnett (11-9, 4.22) and the Angels' Scott Kazmir (9-8, 5.08). All I can think about is, what the Yanks did to the Rays that was so bad that they could do this to us. Why, TB? Why would you harvest kryptonite and give it to our biggest foe?

Kazmir has been as dangerous a threat to our offense as Roy Halladay and Curt Schilling, with even our most reliable batters being consistently flummoxed by the young southpaw--Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Alex Rodriguez, HIdeki Matsui, and Nick Swisher all have sub-.200 BAs against him. Ouch.

After clinching a playoff berth for the 14th time in 15 years, the Yanks still have miles to go before they sleep. And by miles, I mean the only number they're thinking about right now is 6 (to win the division), because the interior of Angel Stadium isn't anything the Yanks want to deal with come playoffs.

I think the Yanks are going to pull this one out, though. Call me crazy (as is customary) but I think his 4-seamer will keep NY at bay for an just inning or two before they pounce on him. The only way to beat the Yankee bats is with off speed pitches and by never letting them get comfortable at the plate. Kazmir's change-up is as exciting as frozen peas. Let's go Yankees! "Do the thing you think you cannot do."

"^%$ Ichiro."

That was the text I woke up to this morning.

And then I remembered what happened last night.

I hate Ichiro. 

I don't know what's worse, when we spend the hours/days leading up to a game completely preoccupied with our pitcher, and then he confirms our fears...or when he surprises us all and then we stomach punched by the least likely source.

It's splitting hairs and either way, it's a nightmare.

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Jorge Posada had the right idea when he did his best impression of [insert maddening Hills character]. He got some vacation and down time, and all it cost him was general disdain and public disappointment. Looking down the barrel of a week out west, I'd say that's a small price to pay.

The Yanks officially pull the trump card on any complaining we may do about our jobs, since they decidely have a worse work schedule for the rest of the season than any strung out investment banker. They kick it off by going 3000 miles to face Felix Hernandez (15-5, 2.52)...whose ERA in September starts is so disgusting. I don't even want to type it.

I actually have the same nauseous reflex when I think about spelling out our own starter's auspicious numbers of late. A.J. Burnett (11-9, 4.33) is 1-5 with a 6.14 ERA since August 1. You know somewhere Mitre's thinking, "Well, even I could do that."

But I'm not worried about AJ. He'll shut them down tonight, because he has to shut them down tonight. That's all there is to it.* Because every game til the end of the season is going to be meaningful...even when it's technically not.

*Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira eat pitches of Felix for breakfast. (Damon: 5-9; Tex: .333, 3 dings). So I wouldn't mind this as a backup plan. Just in case AJ doesn't actually do what he has to. God, I can't believe AJ Burnett precipitated Seattle as a 61% favorite...over the best team in baseball. Ouch. It's like swinging at a 3-0 pitch from Randy Johnson in his prime.

After an hour of the game, I started wondering if it was possible I had accidentally cued up last night's GameDay. Yanks stake pitcher to 2-0 lead. Lose it when Blue Jays tie it up shortly thereafter. Really lose it when Jays take lead. I don't think I could have stomached a second loss, and I would have probably gone into a catatonic state if Yankee Stadium was hosting Batting Practice for our Canadian Neighbors, Part II.

But they came through. They showed grit. (Real grit, not the "grit" that Yahoo purported Brady showed in Monday Night Football.) They worked around their pitching flaws and muted bats, and although at least one of their fans was admittedly starting to panic they kept their stranglehold on our faith. It would appear my susceptibility to hyperventilating is inversely proportional to the number of days left in the season.

Anatomy of an averted nervous breakdown Game notes:

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