SB Nation User Blog: Cutthemullet

Let's Pimp Some Old Diaries/FanPosts And Teach The Children Some AN History

Cutthemullet — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 07:27:14 -0000

Tonight, I feel like taking a walk down memory lane. By making that my first sentence, I figured I could at least get 67MARQUEZ interested in this diary. But I am shooting for more than an audience of one here. If only I had some demo tapes lying around of me singing an A's-themed adaptation of La Bamba at karaoke night fifteen years ago...unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight when I was 7 to realize that such a performance might make for a valuable contribution to an A's "blog" ("mommy, what's a blog?" "I don't know, sweetheart") sometime in the future. Unfortunately, at that time I was excited only excited about Rickey Henderson when he joined the Blue Jays. Hey, I'm from Buffalo, what did I know?

So for me, A's-memory lane doesn't go back all that far. But AN-memory lane is a different story. The Cutthemullet user ID is somewhere in the 700s, and even that number doesn't do my tenure here justice, because I was on this site before the user IDs existed, back when Athletics Fan And Runner had many different heroes in the course of the same thread (one post would be signed "Mike Gallego Is My Hero", another would be "Carney Lansford Is My Hero", etc). And the resident villain was jrbh; this was pre-oaktoon and reztips. So while most people who post here now probably don't even remember jrbh at all, how many can remember when that dude went by...Jeff Beresford-Howe? Jeff Beresford-Howe, the only person I'll ever cross paths with whose idea of the good life starts with a move to Davenport, Iowa. Sorry if I offended streetfan69, who I remember from FormerHuntsvilleStar's AN geography diary to be an Ion (that has to be the way to refer to Iowa residents), but he might be a Rockies fan now, anyway. I mean, I remember hearing about a professional poker player who had once accepted a $10,000 bet that he couldn't live in Des Moines for a month...and atter 2 weeks, he was down that 10 grand. I don't really know the specifics there as far as how the friend could be sure he didn't actually leave Des Moines, like if he was being monitored by Joe Jackson or what, but in any event it wasn't long before that guy was going to be looking to strike up a conversation with 1,000 teenage girls at the mall.

One more thing about Jeff jrbh Beresford Art Howe:

jrbh: Jeff Beresford-Howe:: Reg: ?

Now we're taking a walk down SAT memory lane...

If you guessed "Reginald Stephen Shipp Bixby" (and why wouldn't you guess that), you are correct. Reg, I hope you read this and post some links to the threads where jrbh was threatening legal action. See, that's how things worked in the time before community guidelines, and that is why the guidelines should be abolished.

Alright, so, to get to the point of the diary. I just brought up a couple memorable instances from AN prehistory (there is no record of 1.0 threads in the archives). From that era, we have to rely on oral history. So the first objective is to try to draw the McFoods and the xbx's (no bhaskars, just x's) and the Jennifers and, hell, the Blezes out of the woodwork and get them to comment here so that we can compile a log of 1.0 actitvity before everyone thinks that AN was born the day PaulThomas joined the site.

The second objective is the one for everyone, and the one that more people would care about. What I want is for people to pimp some old diaries. Yes, what was once a crime is now being encouraged. Link to a couple old favorites, written either by yourself or by another AN user, promoted either by virtue of the content of the diary itself or because of the insight/hilarity of the comments. I've got five I want to broadcast here. The first one is a true classic. I got off to a very strong start by referring to Taj Adib as Taj Mahal, and from that point on I never really looked back:

What Would Baseball Be Without Asterisks

For the next one we're going back to the beginning of the 2005 season. What you need to know before going into this one is that before the '05 season, Barry Zito had decided to tie his on-field performance to a charitable cause: for every strikeout he recorded that season, he was going to donate a certain amount of money to soldiers who had been injured in combat. He named his foundation Strikeouts for Troops. Well, after his first few starts it appeared as though the troops were going to have to turn elsewhere for financial aid, and that inspired me to write the following:

Surely The Troops Deserved Better

The next three were written by others, but commented on rather extensively by me. In no other diary have I ever commented so extensively as in this next one, which saw boilerdan's tribute to Emil Brown transformed into a forum for a spirited debate about the existence of hot streaks, and better yet a forum for 74mk to summarize that spirited debate. If nothing else, scroll down, look for the post that was rightfully colored green due to the recommendations it received, and read that.

DFA's Finest Moment

In 2005, I was initially preoccupied by Barry Zito's desire to keep his entire salary, but when the Larry Krueger comments took AN by storm, I found myself waxing philosophical in an apparent effort to reassure myself that Larry would never consider me to be brain-dead:

The Meaning Of Life Can Be Found Near The Bottom Of This Thread

And how could I write this diary and not include the single best diary in the history of AN:

SB Nation Was Not My Idea

So if AN was burning and I had to save a few diaries from being engulfed in flames, I would certainly be looking to salvage these. Yeah, that's right, I went with the burning house over the desert island. So go ahead and tell the AN world which ones you'd grab before the whole shithouse goes up in flames, or whatever Morrison says at the end of the live version of Roadhouse Blues. Post your favorite(s), least favorite(s), whatever's memorable; I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Barely Younger. Hellthier. Ethier. Shallower.

Cutthemullet — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:25:26 -0000

Not to go all vegasgm on you guys (or whoever has irked the community the most with criticism of the trade), but c'mon. Who doesn't ask for more talent than this for...talent such as this? Let's not all be Beane apologists here. Sure, there are minor salary gains here; perhaps Sean Gallagher is better than Chad Gaudin, let alone Harden, perhaps other dominoes will fall and another trade will be made in short order...but in a vacuum, this is nothing better than a bad trade. With the inclusion of Gaudin, Beane caved into the needs of a contender that isn't really all that good. Post-Sabathia, the Cubs are at best second-best in their division--only so because of STL pitching injuries (to their top three starters, basically). There was no need to make this deal at this time. No rush. The irony here is that the Cubs' panic benefitted them. It netted them one of the five best pitchers in baseball. Harden, Santana, Webb, Halladay, Sheets. So I would say. That may in fact be in proper order. You do not part with someone like that for subpar talent such as this. You demand elite talent. This is better than 2007 Josh Hamilton, and the Reds issued an ultimatum for Volquez in that deal, and had their request honored.

There is no proper rationalization here. As a longtime AN poster/reader, I respect iglew/mdl and Taj Adib, but I cannot agree with their justifications of such a mediocre (at best) return here. Given the current wild card/divisional contention, as a fan, this is downright unacceptable. There is really no upside here or later. Where does Gallagher fit in 2009? As a #3, at best? If Gio and Simmons were to get hurt, or something? And unless some team REALLY overvalues Patterson (Dusty, where are you), that acquisition is so useless. Murton is basically a recalamtion project at this point--potentially good, but hardly (and here I use "hardly" loosely, and perhaps for pun value...) a centerpiece of a trade for a bona fide ace...and he other guy, well, let's invest in yet another young catcher, because we haven't already done that all too many times before, right? Hopefully he's 40 pounds overweight, too.

Fucking horrible trade. A's win in spite of this bullshit. Go Oakland. Trade Street and Blanton for nothing, and win more. Front office idio[syncra]cy.

The Market of Convenience

Cutthemullet — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 05:08:00 -0000

Here's a short story I wrote recently. My fiction debut, if you will. Why not post it on AN?

"The Market of Convenience"

So this man walks into a convenience store. 7-11. Maybe. He asks for a few lines of cocaine and a box of Cheez-Its. Man behind the counter rolls his eyes. Such a predictable order, especially in this part of town.

The customer reminds the man behind the counter that there’s a 20% discount on cocaine this week. Man nods his head. He knows this shit, doesn’t need reminding. Oh, wait, it might be 30%. Customer shakes his head, points to a sign. The sign says 10% off before 10 PM, 40% off from 10 till close. Neither man knows the time. It’s been some time since either man wondered about the time of day. Customer shrugs. He guesses it’s a few minutes before ten. Man behind the counter agrees. He’s the agreeable sort. Not one to challenge authority. And at this maybe 7-11, the customer is always right. The signs on the door say so. Well, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and this was either a Thursday or Friday. The man behind the counter looked for his calendar. It was missing as usual. He thought it was a Thursday.

The customer pulled out the money for cocaine and Cheez-Its. He only had Canadian currency, fuck. This wasn’t Canada. He didn’t know where this was, but he knew it wasn’t Canada. He asked the man behind the counter where the ATM was. He also asked him for his PIN number. Man behind the counter laughed and helped the customer steal his money. This was looking like it was going to be a good night. The best Thursday night in quite some time, if it was Thursday. It still might have been Friday. If it was Friday, it wasn’t as good. Too bad it wasn’t Wednesday. It would’ve been the best Wednesday of his life. He was especially glad it wasn’t Monday, though. This would have been a bad Monday. If it was Monday, the man would have killed himself. He was happy it wasn’t Monday.

The customer withdrew 1,200 American dollars. There was a reason he chose exactly 1,200. He would not disclose this reason to the man behind the counter. The man behind the counter laughed. The customer wasn’t concealing anything from him. He had worked too many hours at this maybe-7-11 not to know why the man chose 1,200. He didn’t say anything to the customer, however. If the customer knew that the man behind the counter knew the reason, he’d kill himself. But as it was, the customer was quite happy. His ignorance was bliss. He counted aloud in increments of 1,200. His voice got increasingly loud with each multiple, until he reached the climax of 12,000. At that point, he began anew at 1,200. The man behind the counter laughed and laughed. This spectacle was nothing new, either. Everyone reacted this way to their 1,200 American dollars. Still, he enjoyed it each time. He liked watching people celebrate their own misfortune.

The customer worked himself into a frenzy with his multiplication. He calculated with increasing speed. Twice he mistakenly went beyond 12,000; both times he caught himself at 14,400. He was proud at his discipline. He asked the man behind the counter if this was one of the best displays he’d ever seen. The man behind the counter said they were all equally good. It would be an injustice to previous thieves he’d had the privilege of serving to rank any one above the others. The customer nodded in understanding, and went back to his counting. He achieved a trance-like state. 4,800 was about the threshold at which his nirvana began. The man behind the counter loved the number 4,800. The only numbers he loved more were 7 and 11. Maybe.

Finally, after 120 repetitions, the customer ceased his counting. He collapsed in a heap, knocking over a few shelves of heroin as he fell. He lay in ecstasy for a few moments. The man behind the counter kept a watchful eye during this brief interval. This was the only part of the ritual that was somewhat unpredictable. The man behind the counter let out a sigh of relief when the customer chose the option that the man behind the counter preferred. The customer announced his choice loudly: "silence." The customer then rose rather quickly and gave the man behind the counter a high-five. Well, he tried. His poor coordination caused him to hit the man behind the counter in the face instead, knocking off his glasses. The customer apologized by waving his hand. He bent down to pick up the glasses for the man behind the counter. He broke them instead. The man behind the counter laughed uncontrollably. The customer watched him laugh while he counted his money in silence. He was uncomfortable with the laughter. He leaned towards the counter, preparing to give the man a hug to get him to stop laughing. The man behind the counter cowered underneath a mountain of Marlboros when he saw what the man intended to do. He had built the fort of cigarettes for exactly this purpose, as protection from affection. The customer paused, noticing the great monument for the first time. He stood in awe for a few seconds, marveling at how indestructible the structure appeared. Not even a handshake could penetrate the many carcinogenic layers that had been painstakingly stacked to filter out any attempt at human contact. The customer wished to express his admiration. He gathered his money, cocaine, and Cheez-Its, and left the store.

The man behind the counter emerged from the shelter, once again victorious.

Poll

Like it?

yes

7 votes

no

6 votes

uh, baseball?

8 votes

21 votes | Poll has closed

THEY CALL ME swede

Cutthemullet — Sat, 05 May 2007 09:10:55 -0000

I watched the A's today. No I didn't, actually. Somehow they won tonight, even though Swisher shouldn't have played. Luck luck luck, bork bork bork.

But I watched them a few weeks ago. They sucked. The manager is bad. He really IS the luckiest man alive, Bob Gehrig. First of all, he lets Kendall play. This guy can't run, throw, catch, or hit. He should've played JD Closser that day.

Then there's Chavez. He wouldn't hit an Orlando Hernandez eephus pitch down the middle on the first pitch, even if Orlando Hernandez wasn't on the DL, the A's played the Mets, and Chavez knew it was coming. Chavez sucks, he's a joke, send him to Sacramento. He's not Aryan enough. Trade him to Cincinnatti. He can platoon with Edlose Encarnacion there.

What's wrong with Stuart Little? He shouldn't be hitting leadoff, he should be hitting 10th and playing left center. He must have plantar fascitis in both of his feet now, the way he's playing.

The day I watched, they showed Dan Johnssssson taking batting practice in a small town in California. He looked like he was working on driving the ball to shortstop instead of second base. Is that what Gehrig wants him to do? If so, he's a bad manager.

Travis Buck is bad. The buck doesn't stop here, it stopped on Opening Day. Stopped producing. Maybe he should cut his hair, and turn the brim of his hat upwards like Jesper Parnevik so he can see better in the field.

Ellis was the only guy who looked good. He was an island. Good fielding, good hitting. But he looked lost at the plate. Like an island.

2007 Season Win Total Over/Unders

Cutthemullet — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 06:44:38 -0000

Alright, even though it would be really easy to leave them as I copy-and-pasted them, in alphabetical order, I'll organize the teams into their proper divisions:

AL East:

New York Yankees Over 96.5 (-115)
Under 96.5 (-115)
Boston Red Sox Over 91 (-125)
Under 91 (-105)
Toronto Blue Jays Over 86.5 (-110)
Under 86.5 (-120)
Baltimore Orioles Over 73 (-115)
Under 73 (-115)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays Over 67 (-130)
Under 67 (Even)

AL Central:

Chicago White Sox Over 87.5 (-115)
Under 87.5 (-115)
Detroit Tigers Over 87.5 (-130)
Under 87.5 (Even)
Cleveland Indians Over 85.5 (-115)
Under 85.5 (-115)
Minnesota Twins Over 84 (-115)
Under 84 (-115)
Kansas City Royals Over 67 (-125)
Under 67 (-105)

AL West

Los Angeles Angels Over 88.5 (-125)
Under 88.5 (-105)
Oakland Athletics Over 85.5 (-110)
Under 85.5 (-120)
Texas Rangers Over 80.5 (-130)
Under 80.5 (Even)
Seattle Mariners Over 77.5 (-115)
Under 77.5 (-115)

NL East:

New York Mets Over 89 (-130)
Under 89 (Even)
Philadelphia Phillies Over 88.5 (-115)
Under 88.5 (-115)
Atlanta Braves Over 82 (-115)
Under 82 (-115)
Florida Marlins Over 77.5 (-125)
Under 77.5 (-105)
Washington Nationals Over 66.5 (-105)
Under 66.5 (-125)

NL Central:

St Louis Cardinals Over 85.5 (-110)
Under 85.5 (-120)
Chicago Cubs Over 83.5 (-115)
Under 83.5 (-115)
Milwaukee Brewers Over 80.5 (-125)
Under 80.5 (-105)
Houston Astros Over 78 (-135)
Under 78 (+105)
Cincinnati Reds Over 76.5 (-125)
Under 76.5 (-105)
Pittsburgh Pirates Over 72 (Even)
Under 72 (-130)

NL West:

Los Angeles Dodgers Over 88 (-130)
Under 88 (Even)
San Diego Padres Over 83.5 (-125)
Under 83.5 (-105)
San Francisco Giants Over 80.5 (-115)
Under 80.5 (-115)
Arizona Diamondbacks Over 78.5 (-115)
Under 78.5 (-115)
Colorado Rockies Over 75 (-125)
Under 75 (-105)

With a sterling 2-0 record from 2006 W/L O/U totals giving me some serious credibility here (I took the over on a similar total for Minnesota...83, maybe, and the under for ~75 wins for Pittsburgh...both bets were relatively secure by the beginning of August), I offer the following best bets for this year:

NL:
Way more good-looking bets here than in the AL. I'll start with the East:

Philly: under 88.5. This is a perpetually overrated, perpetually mediocre team. Their longtime star has been wearing pinstripes since last July. The heart of the order is still strong, and in their primes (all 4 of them), but the rest of the team is decidedly underwhelming. I think Atlanta's better. Which leads me to...

Atlanta: over 82. I'm going to abruptly stop commentary here.

Central:

Cincinnati: under 76.5. I don't think Saarloos is going to be a #3 caliber starter for this team.

West:

LA: Under 88

Arizona: Over 78.5

AL:

None. If I had to bet here, I'd go with over for Boston and Detroit, under for Seattle, but I don't like any of these all that much.

I'd like to see how certain projections match up to these over/unders. That would be a useful betting tool, a nice supplement to instinct/gut feeling/hunches/whatever else you and I are using. Ideally, you want to find a particularly reliable simulation, PECOTA, DiamondMind, whatever, and exploit the inefficiencies you see above.

Another useful approach is to compare these to the odds of winning the division, and look for any glaring inconsistencies. Take the AL West, for example:

Anaheim Angels 5-8
Oakland Athletics 3-1
Texas Rangers 5-1
Seattle Mariners 8-1

Given the win total over-unders, should the A's odds really be that much worse than the Angels' here? Of course, you have to take into account some sort of contrived Likelihood to Deviate Significantly From Projection...in other words, some teams with the same win projections could be higher risk/reward teams than others. The Cubs and Padres at 83.5 come to mind...it might be a good mean win total for both, but of the two, which team could you possibly see winning 93 games? The Cubbies, right? How about winning 73 games? Eh, once again, the Cubs. A team like that, controlling for everything else, would be a better pick to win the division.

Applying this very unscientifically and subjectively to the case of the AL West, I don't see the A's deviating much from this win total...in my mind, that magic number of 83.5 would probably be a perfect O/U for them, too (not a significant enough difference for me to want to bet the under against them, though...and c'mon, I'd never bet the under on my favorite team...I might sell my soul for 30 pieces of silver in a different way, but not like that.) Still, the odds are good enough where, weighing the win totals and Expected...Projection, I would probably like a bet on the A's here.

Doing that for the other divisions...

AL Central:

Detroit Tigers 9-5
Chicago White Sox 2-1
Cleveland Indians 3-1
Minnesota Twins 3-1
Kansas City Royals 75-1

Cue Layne Staley (by the time this night's over, I hope to refer to all 4 of the big Seattle bands...2 down, 2 to go (see the WLD for a rather extended Nirvana reference): "I stay away..."...this division is not one to mess with. I guess I can reach and get my Soundgarden reference out of the way by saying "I'm looking California (Oakland), but [not] feeling Minnesota." Not this year, anyway.

I'll save the band I've seen in person four times (Pearl Jam; I wish I could say that about the others, especially Alice In Chains) for last.

AL East:

New York Yankees 1-2
Boston Red Sox 9-5
Toronto Blue Jays 6-1
Baltimore Orioles 100-1
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 100-1

In a random diary where I rattled off a string of posts related to the divisional odds, I strongly advocated betting on Boston (then sporting 2-1 odds; Epstein being the friend of Eddie Vedder that he is, not to mention the fandom of glorified Red Sox reporter Peter Gammons, I should probably include a PJ reference here, but I won't) AND Toronto (6-1 then, as now) to win, because I think these odds are predictably skewed in the Yankees' favor. Based on the differing criteria of the season win totals + deviation pseudo-formula I'm focusing on here, however, I don't think there's much basis to act on anything here...though the Orioles' 100-1 is looking a little better than the D-Rays' 100-1 if you're in the mood to take a serious flyer, heh. Hope that Balt can rekindle the karma from the first couple months of 2005 and keep that going for an entire season....

NL West (I changed the order from the O/U's, didn't I...eh, I'll go track down an editor moonlighting as a taxi driver in a few minutes):

Los Angeles Dodgers 10-11
San Diego Padres 11-4
San Francisco Giants 4-1
Arizona Diamondbacks 7-1
Colorado Rockies 15-1

Ok, here's where I can integrate some shit. Given the Dodgers' near 1-1 odds, you're looking at an opportunity to bet on LA or bet on the field. If you think LA has a better than 50% chance to win the West, by all means, bet on them, maybe their odds will decrease to 5-6 and San Diego's will increase to 3-1 or something. If you think that LA has a less than 50% chance to win, bet the field. I'll brainwash you right now: the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles, barring a trade for Alex Rodriguez and Carlos Zambrano, are in no way this much of a favorite to win the division. So bet on every team besides them. This is an AL East-style bet, plus it incorporates a discrepancy from the win totals, in that it presupposes an under 88 bet on LA and an over 78 bet on Arizona. In other words, you're/I'm already inclined to think that this division's win total O/U's are skewed a bit; making this bet is the logical extension of making the two bets above. Hence me initially saying this was an "integration" of concepts...I guess.

Note: you have to make your bets mathematically correct. Flat-betting $100 on each team besides LA is not the best method...you'd lose $125 if San Diego won, and you'd only get your money back if SF won. Bet so that you expect to win a little, percentage-wise anyway, rather than hoping to win a lot...if you bet $100 on SF (start there because of the easy 4-1 odds with 4 teams), then you'd want to bet $150 on San Diego, ~$75 on Arizona, and $25 on Colorado. This way, betting $350 total, you'd make $45.50 if SD won, $50 if SF won, you'd lose $50 if Arizona won, and $250 if Colorado won. That was mental math, so I can't offer percentages there. Do away with the $25 on Colorado, increase the bet on AZ until you'd get your money back in the case that they won, and you're basically winning if 2 of the 4 realistic contenders in the NL West win, getting your money back for one, and losing for another. If you like Arizona in 2009 but not in 2007, bet accordingly. Just bet against LA in the way that would best maximize your return, basically.

NL Central:

St Louis Cardinals 3-2
Chicago Cubs 3-2
Milwaukee Brewers 5-1
Houston Astros 7-1
Cincinnati Reds 15-1
Pittsburgh Pirates 40-1

No comment. No bet.

NL East:

New York Mets 5-7
Philadelphia Phillies 8-5
Atlanta Braves 9-2
Florida Marlins 10-1
Washington Nationals 100-1

No bet. I exerted too much energy, not to mention blowing my entire fictional bankroll, on the AL West, AL East, NL West...there's nothing here, anyway. Bet on the Mets if you finally want a favorite to take.

f*** the long term concerns

Cutthemullet — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:31:34 -0000

Not going to read the diary, sorry Taj Mahal. That's quite a structure you've built there in India/Atlantic City, but I'm going to have to ignore it. I'm cheering for this year's team. F*** 2009. F*** 2010. F*** 2011. We'll be restocked by then, motherf***ers. The GM advantage is too much to ignore. These morons can't ply their trade. Let's face it. We're by far the smartest fan base in all of professional sports, worldwide. No doubt. We then hold our leaders accountable. We're in good hands, and shiuld they falter, we seize on that s***. I'm sick of long-term prognosticating. We're not equipped to do that.

If AN took over the A's, we'd win the division every year. Anyone doubt that? Speak up.

Drunken Socialism reigns supreme. Always has, always will.

Poll

a's

row vs wade

54 votes

fuck them

39 votes

93 votes | Poll has closed

Ok, I'll do it: Drunk Diary IV

Cutthemullet — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 06:14:41 -0000

Eventually I'm going to catch up to the Super Bowls...only 37 more entries to go. If I can make these drunken posts on frigid Feburary nights, than it's surely attainable...by May. Or perhaps by the middle of March if I dedicate myself to making it a daily routine (neither a bad idea nor out of the realm of possibility...)

American football. So excting. So exciting that...it had me asleep by halftime. Not even the artist fomerly known as...could awaken me from my slumber. That guy's really really overrated, too. Unless it's the Bills or has fantasy implicationas, I can't watch the NFL anymore. It's so generic, so predictable, so antiseptic, if my mind is functioning well enough to use that word properly. Coaches gameplan 18 hours a day 365 days a year to basically achieve a stalemate. Even the most exciting athletes in the league (Reggie Bush, Vick, Vince Young, Steve Smith) aren't that exciting to watch because the context in which they perform is so fucking...contrived. What we're really watching is a bunch of coordinators with laminated playsheets covering their mouths shouting the same shit into Motorola headsets, which has been dissected to death by their opponents in the week prior to he game...I'm sorry, but the NFL has nothing to offer me anymore. It doesn't excite me. I've seen it all.

Back to the real national pastime. Is it just me, or does the "collective consciousness" of AN gain ground on Billy Beane with each passing interview? I feel as though this may be the one where we have actually surpassed him in our astuteness and savvy. Derspite his acknowledged ability to adapt to an ever-changing market, he's still clinging to philosophies that really serve as crutches: it's only my job to get us to the playoffs, I can only exert so much control, the manager can only exert so much control, etc. He was a visionary at a time, but his time may have passed. Now, he's stuck in a mindset that may render him average in a couple years' time, maybe more if GM's continue to exhibit the glaring idiocy that they have to this point. Basically, he's not willing to re-evaulate and further refine/perfect his stances on the minute aspects of the game that he could exert further control over...like in a short series. He might need to cede some control, because he's obviously not going to make that change willingly. Has he never seen a fucking WinExp graph? He certainly can handle the long term, but the short term...he acts as if there's NO way to affect the outcome from a managerial standpoint. That pisses me off, and strikes me as ignorance.

Poll

Who's the best choice for the Super Bowl Halftime Show

"the greatest rock and roll band of all time"

2 votes

Paul McCartney

3 votes

Janet Jackson without a five second delay

7 votes

Prince

13 votes

25 votes | Poll has closed

2 in a row? What a megalomaniac.

Cutthemullet — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 10:45:26 -0000

I am currently writing in the intro copy. Why it is referred to as such, I have no idea. I would like some clarification. Anyway. Someone just IM'ed me with an Erstad-related link, and the comment "the A's are due for a 75-90 type season". Here's why this person should go fuck himself. First off, no major league team plays 165 games. Tiebreakers are not best of three series; that's the only way you're getting 165. And 75-90...the Yankees would have to go 152-10, and the Tigers 151-11, to have the A's be in contention at 73-89 or 74-88.

Second, all my non-A's-fans friends (which is to say, everyone), is anxiously awaiting a slip-up by the near-perfect squad I (and you) root for. Geographically, I'm in Yankees/Red Sox/rare miscellaneous AL East team fan territory, so as you can imagine, frustration is abounding. Meanwhile, the one thing I can count on in my life, above everything else, is the A's being in contention, no matter what names comprise the 25-man/40-man/bottom-5-caliber-non-40-man rosters. I can see where jealousy may arise. But these people should know better than to try to pounce on a certain signing that even 95% of us faithful diehards are questioning. As I pointed out last thread, the most plausible explanation, for me, is that Kotsay will now be shopped, perhaps to the White Sox for Danks (that was a completely unfounded guess).

Ok, finally, here's what I think. I think, as currenlty constructed, the A's are not a 75-win team, but perhaps a .500 team. We need more to compete this year. The Angels, for all their managerial ineptitude, are probably ten games better than us right now. The Rangers are about equal, and the Mariners are one good move away from being able to say the same. Let's face reailty here. We need to gamble to compete this year. To me, that means starting Gaudin, trading a starting pitcher + Kotsay for hitting, and reshuffling a bit. Although last diary I somberly called for an end to Mets' trade rumours, I feel like seeing a bunch of reasonable but completely groundless rumours in this diary. I'll start: Kotsay, Kiko, Kennedy, Kurt (Suzuki) for Johnny Damon. Gamble on Gaudin, and let the rotation sort itself out by the end of May.

Hester Prynne (drunk diarying part III, off to a bad start)

Cutthemullet — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 10:11:53 -0000

I had about a paragraph of criticism for "The Scarlet Letter" prepared, until a pop-up arose and demolished it. I have no ability nor the will to reconstruct it, so I will leave it at this: Nathaniel Hawthorne is the most overrated and overread American author of fiction this side of Papa. Maybe Hemingway included, even. That book for which he is known...yeah, it should not be on high school reading lists across this Every Child Left Behind nation...no one understands the historical significance of that classic, and I would dare say it's not worth the effort to understand. For high schoolers anyway. Alright, I re-created some semblance of a paragrapgh of criticism of the aformentioned one-hit wonder of fiction, which I did not even intend to do. the first version was better, but this was decent given the frustration of losing solid prose to a fucking random pop-up.

I am currently listening to the song "Dogs" by Pink Floyd, off their Animals album. Sorry Nico, no "Ponies", only Dogs, Pigs (three kinds), and Sheep. Phenomenal album, best Floyd in my opinion. "Dogs" is 17 minutes, so beware those with ADHD. Recommended to everyone else. Kind of elaborates on the Orwell "Animal Farm" allegory, or at least relates to it...which, as a work of fiction that may appear on high school reading lists, is about ten times as worthy as "The Scarlet Letter." Puritans no longer exist, if the Mennonites are ignored, while totalitarians, or derivations thereof, do, so...Animal Farm and 1984 live on. Hawthorne, you can try to resurrect your collectivist utopia all you want, but I will in Orwellian Democratic Socialist spirit repudiate you.

Ok, to the A's. Erstad bewilders me. I've put some thought into this, and I really am perplexed. I want to see how this plays out. I really think there's a likelihood that he starts in the OF and DJ sits...and also a likelihood that Kotsay is traded, which no one has mentioned. I think Beane may very well see Erstad as a "Kotsay-replacement-player" for 1/7 the cost, or so, and then will shop his shell of his former self for prospects. If he does that, and lets Erstad replicate Kotsay's production for a fraction of the cost, it's ingenius. No two ways about it, if he does that, then Beane's done a phenomenal job. But if anything else is driving this signing, pure depth included, then I am not a fan.

So I've gone out drinking 6 of the past 9 nights. Am I an alcoholic...maybe we'll poll this.

Ok, next topic, as Max Kellerman once said on Around the Horn. Mets' trade rumours (British spelling because it's so sweet)...let's let them die down, until there's reason to let them be resurrected. Beane and Minaya, though at opposite ends of the spectrum for GMing ability, are both among the few most active GM's in the league, transaction-wise, so naturally these rumours will surface. But let's not feed the NYC media machine. There's just as good of a chance that Beane makes a trade with the Indians as there is that he trades with the Mets, in my opinion. Definitely don't see Lastings starting 2007 as a teammate of Barton's in Sac, giving the Oakland offense a run for their money.

Beckham to LA...awesome. I will see him in Columbus as soon as the schedule is released.

I am going to write a book, of the science fiction genre. I am also about to help launch a massive Internet endeavor that my friend and fellow visionary dreamt up. Keep an eye out for further details. Sobriety tends to aid the delivery of such details. For now, all I will say is that my book's underlying premise is quite depressing. Hester Prynne symapthists may, irnoically enough, be drawn to it, heh.

Go Oakland. Listen to Animals by Floyd. Way better than Dark Side or even The Wall.

Poll

who's the best front page writer?

monkeyball (though he has yet to submit a front page entry)

14 votes

Blez

10 votes

Cutthemullet, should he be promoted

9 votes

Nico

13 votes

other, explain below

2 votes

BBG

6 votes

too controversial.

6 votes

louismg

3 votes

63 votes | Poll has closed

I had a dream today...

Cutthemullet — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:12:04 -0000

Writing about actual dreams, as opposed to inspirational visions of the MLK variety, is not the most masculine activity to undertake, but I'm going to fearlessly proceed.

Rarely do I remember a dream after waking up. If I consumed any significant amount of the, um, "drugs" I consume on a semi-regular/regular basis (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol; with my tolerance level, basically a milligram of any of those is significant...6 foot 1 and a buck fifty, I guess you can call me a lightweight), then there's a much greater chance that I'll remember a dream. If I don't indulge in any sleep-altering substances soon before sleep, though, the chances of remembering a dream are slim to none. And if I have one, it's probably going to involve people that I'm close to, or wish I was close to, heh.

But today, December 12th 2006, I had a dream about the Oakland A's. This has never happened before. I don't claim to be any expert in the area of the subconscious, but still, I'm wondering why, of all times, I dreamt about the A's now. Sure, I was on AN last night, made a few posts, but that's kind of a regular occurrence. I did sleep excessively (over 12 hours...I don't have responsibilities), so that's more REM sleep, more potential dreams...

Anyway. All I really wanted to do was share the absurd nature of the dream (more absurd than having the dream itself). What I first remember is seeing Swisher drive in a couple runs, adding to a huge A's lead. As always as an NRAF, i was watching Memorex-style, not live. I don't know who the opponents were; it's a dream, so we'll say that it was the both the Angels and the Yankees, combining forces to try to keep their mutual pesky, low-payroll nemesis out of the playoffs. Yes, it was definitely a cross between those two teams. And it was the 163rd game of the year, playoff berth on the line...

Ok, so the circumstances weren't clear, but I only got a brief glimpse of the game action anyway. Then I was transported to a large, seemingly living box score (this should be listed as a side effect of reading the book "The Game of Numbers" by Alan Schwarz, which I'm in the process of doing right now), which had the familiar (for me) Yahoo format. I saw the score was A's Lots, Opponents Few, and I was happy. I excitedly scrolled down the box score, which apparently by now had been deprived of its life and shrunk to its conventional size on my computer monitor, to see who had done the damage during the part of the game I missed. First, I checked the heart of the order, only to be surprised that there was no production there...nothing out of Chavez and Crosby (yes, the latter was in the heart of the order in my dream). Wow, lots of runs scored for there to have been hitless games by the key guys. Then I saw a couple names who had ridiculous numbers in the RBI column, I think like 7 for the first guy: Scott Spiezio and Bobby Kielty. Even subconsciously I knew this was strange: Spiezio?! He's on the 2007 A's? Beane must have been desperate to fill out the roster. Kielty had a huge game, finally? Fuck yeah. Basically the box score was overflowing with crooked numbers around the abyss of Chavez and Crosby; the 7 other guys had had huge games. I didn't find out who most of the names were; but that's only right, isn't it? There's a lot of time before the season starts, and the status quo never lasts long in Oakland.

Poll

Horacio Ramirez

Sucks (lifted from LL)

11 votes

11 votes | Poll has closed