SB Nation User Blog: Cy Schourek

Dusty will be unable to manage next year

Cy Schourek — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:19:52 -0000

Dusty will be unable to manage next year

The website is more than slightly disturbing, but also more than slightly entertaining

You guys here about this "Inside the NFL" show? I wonder what channel it's on.

Cy Schourek — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:21:33 -0000

You guys here about this "Inside the NFL" show? I wonder what channel it's on.

Eyewitness Report 8/10: The Cards make like early Kanye

Cy Schourek — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 04:09:25 -0000

And tell the Reds, "Thank you, God bless you, goodnight, I came."

I linked to Kanye mainly to make jch sad, of course. It was a pretty mediocre game, all in all. The fans even started a wave in the fifth inning, which is way earlier than the Greatest Fans in Baseball should ever start a wave. I never thought the Reds had a chance once Cueto left, and I considered leaving early at least 3 times (in my defense, I was sitting in front of this high school dude trying really hard and really obnoxiously to impress his girl...it got grating). God bless Saint Louisians, tough. I did hear someone comment, "My friend's the same age as his stepmother, you know."

All in all, though, it was a baseball game. I did get some nice pictures from the thing, so consider this a far more Bubba-esque and Twitter-y account than I usually give.

First of all, I would like to give a one-finger salute to the Saint Louis Metrolink for starting to check tickets and all two days before I can ride for free. So I needed to buy a round-trip ticket to the game (instead of just slinking in and out of the subway). I only have a $20 bill. So how does the vending machine like that?
Thank you for the multitude of rocks in my pocket. The vendors thank you too, for being paid in freaking Martin van Burens.
I was happy to see Hal McCoy hanging out on the diamond. No snark here whatsoever.
CoCo is getting paid about $400,000 per inning. You know, I would smile, too.
Here is my picture of Tatum chatting with C-Dick (I'm very excited for him to get back) while Darren watches.

So funny story about Tatum. First off, when he was waiting to get into the batting cage, he kept on running back and forth to the dugout. At first I thought he just forgot something, than I realized that Gomes was giving him shit, and I think that Craig was running errands for someone instead. Also, when all the players went back to the dugout before the game, a bunch of kids near me were screaming for a ball from him. He then made a point of pointing at a cute girl 8 rows or so back, telling the kids to sit down, and tossing the ball to the girl instead. The guy she was with was not impressed.

Tre Cool throws first pitch...apparently he's friends with Skip Schumaker? So that was a bit awkward. It would've been a lot cooler 10-15 years ago, I tell you that.

Joey Votto saw this guy next to me in a Jay Bruce jersey, and tossed the guy his batting gloves, with the order, "Give one to a kid." The guy was way happy, and after chatting with him for a little bit about how his wife salivates over Joey, he called his wife to tell her. I hear the screaming on the other side from two people away. Does Poodle have a husband in Saint Louis?

A lot can be said about Brendan Ryan. Very little of it would be good. However, he comes out to Vivrant Thing, which is pretty cool, especially for a guy coming out of Lewis & Clark State College (and yes, he went to school with our very own Carlos Fisher. They did not face each other tonight).

I heard Taveras hit the wall from my seat. I was convinced it was a Freel-esque collision and he wouldn't be getting up for a while.
And to give you an idea where my seat is, here's a view of the sunset over the stadium. And yes, as impressive as the food selection was in Citi Field, I give you...Hardee's.
- Finally, some poor, poor, couple were getting married at Busch Stadium. Inbreds.
  - I stared at this guy long and hard, and I came to the conclusion that it was not Guy Fieri. So someone saw Guy on tv, and wanted to look just like him. To compare:
    to...
  - via foodnetworkhumor.com
  - And does anyone else here keep score at games? And if you do, you know that there are certain things you need on a scorecard, like: pitchers' boxes, an RBI box, and space for substitutes? Well, Busch III says GFY.
- Well, that's it for this eyewitness report. I may go Wednesday, but that's awfully up in the air. Happy 2010, everybody.

Ohio has/is talent

Cy Schourek — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:24:43 -0000

Ohio has/is talent

Ever wonder what would happen when you attach a piano key to each county of Ohio? Now you know!

From the always-fascinating bldgblog, for the record.

What would you give to see the Reds in the playoffs?

Cy Schourek — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:00:04 -0000

OK, so I've been having trouble getting to sleep this past week or so, and in order to amuse myself while tossing around in bed, I've been thinking of mind games to play. Last night at around 2:30, I thought of a Reds related one: Let's say you can guarantee the Reds will make the playoffs in 2010. Once they're there, they have the same 12.5% chance of winning the WS as the other 7 teams, it's not JUST the playoffs. But what elements of your sports fandom would you trade in order to guarantee this occuring?

For example, I would be willing to have ALL of the following occur.

Baseball:
- I'd accept Homer Bailey becoming a bust. He's the Red I'm rooting the hardest for right now, but I'd be willing to accept his failure to pan out.
- I'd accept a 2-year extension to Dusty's contract.
- I'd accept Harang having a 20-win season somewhere else. Even Saint Louis.
- I'd accept a Reds regular having a 50-game substance abuse suspension.
- I'd accept Lincecum having an HOF-worthy career, irregardless of what happens to Stubbs.
Football:
- I'd accept Ohio State having a Michigan c. 2008 season in 2010. (Note: not 2009, though, I need something to pull me out of this summer stupor).
- I'd accept becoming an NFL eunuch. That is, I would stop rooting for the Bengals in any way, shape or form, or any other NFL team. By 2012, I'll be the guy watching the 49ers asking if Steve Young still plays for them.
Other sports:
- I'd accept Turkey not making it to the World Cup in 2010.
- I'd accept the US crashing and burning when they do make it to WC2010.
- I'd start playing lacrosse again and becoming one of those mouth-breathing lax dudes who watches professional lacrosse (until 2012).

What would you all give up? And try to keep this sports only, just because I would probably be ok with a Nuclear Iran if it meant Reds baseball in October, and I don't like what that says about me as a person.

Eyewitness Report 7/12/09: Let us quote Lil' Wayne

Cy Schourek — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:35:20 -0000

I don't curse, but in this verse man, fuck tha world.

Ok, I was lazy with the Bailey game in June and never did an eyewitness report, but this time I promise to do one. Also, I figured y'all would be interested to have a look at Citi Field. Unfortunately, though, I'm writing this on a mac, which doesn't jibe with my sony camera, so no pictures. Only one to mention, however: The Mets JumboTron couldn't spell Cincinnati, going for the "Cincinnatti" option instead. I noticed this in about the third inning, mentioned it loudly, and never saw it again. I was sitting in section 501 (farthest up, closest to RF pole) so I doubt they listened to me, but hey.

First off, Citi Field is really nice. I never went to Shea, but my brother-in-law was emphatic that it was much better. The concourses were all open, allowing you to watch the game from food lines (a huge plus in my mind) and it was easy to get to the upper levels. Also, this was the best ballpark food I've ever seen. There was a "Beers of the World" kiosk in center field that had ~20 beers on offer (including Goose Island, Czechvar, Kirin Ichiban, but oddly no Brooklyn Lager) for $7.50. There was also Blue Smoke, Shake Shack, and lots of others, I'll let Serious Eats do the heavy lifting. I had an Italian Sandy from Mama's of Coronas, which was really good, filling, and completely worth the $9.50. Only downside was that the grease got all over my scorecard. Also: if you go to New York, get to Shake Shack, and get a burger and a frozen custard. Incredible, incredible, stuff. I just wouldn't do it at the stadium, opt for the Upper West Side location.

I have to tip my cap to the stadium PR, they had decent music taste. Although I got a chuckle out of the Mets taking the field to Great Escape. In at-bat-music news, Daniel Murphy comes out to Dropkick Murphys, which I approve of. Francouer comes out to Big&Rich, which is not remotely surprising. Brian Schneider comes out to Creed, which I do NOT approve of. And resulted in me screaming blasphemies to nobody in particular when he hit a home run.

Speaking of blasphemies, I really don't get the deal with singing God Bless America. Especially when the singer doesn't know the lyrics. I told aforementioned brother-in-law I'd yell out Allah'u Akbar if they did GBA, but I admittedly wimped out. I blame it on my unhsaven visage.

Nobody really understood the Kisscam. Every time the camera panned to a couple, they would wave wildly to the JumboTron with vacuous eyes. When one couple was on, some dude sitting next to the girl tapped her on the shoulder to point her to the big screen. She then stood up and got in some dude's face on camera. Another time, the woman desperately tried to get her husband's attention while he was on the phone, and again, the camera caught it all. Ah, New York.

In related news, every single Mets fan looks the same. I do not mean this in a good way.

I saw that BubbaFan mentioned it, but the issue with the apple was kinda confusing. In short, there's this apple in CF that goes up after every HR, but it did not have a quick enough refractory period after the first home run. So after the stadium chants "Apple! Apple!" for the rest of Weathers' inning, it finally goes up after the 3rd out. Wild cheering ensues. The apple got a louder cheer than the family of the deceased Iraqi War veteran. Also a louder cheer than the StL pitcher when I went to that game.

So that wraps up that. If you have any other questions, let me know. Otherwise, TGIASB.

That's racist!

Cy Schourek — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:08:17 -0000

That's racist!

Russia's petroleum giant gets in on the racist business naming business. This is otherwise irrelevant and I am going to be sent a sternly worded message from the mods.

Eyewitness Report 6/18: I don't like the Cardinals

Cy Schourek — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 03:31:53 -0000

So I'm in Saint Louis for a couple of days looking for apartments for the next few years as I make like Eddie Johnson and become a Grown-Ass Man. Well, not really because it's just grad school, but still. I'm moving to Saint Louis. And I figured I would take the opportunity to go to Cardinals-Tigers tonight because, well, its baseball. I didn't bring a camera, though, but it's ok because you're not missing much.

Hahahaha The Jump is awesome. Anyways, the first thing you should know is that it is HOT over here. Like, mid-90s and face-meltingly humid. Which made introducing myself to future housemates a bit awkward: "Hey, what 'd you think of the guy who came in here to check the place out?" "Oh, you mean the sweaty dude who hasn't gotten a haircut in ages? Yeah, he's, um, nice."

First off, I think New Busch is not as nice as GABP. They're awfully similar, truth be told. But Busch has a few strikes against it:

No local food. Sure, you could get toasted ravioli for 7 bucks. But no StL-style ribs, no Stl-style pizza. In less shocking news, no beer outside of Bud, Bud light, Bud Select.
The main concourse of the stadium is placed behind home plate, which means that it is covered completely and you can't see the game. So when you are in line to grab something to eat, you can't even get a glimpse of the action (Nats stadium and Philly do this well, my memory is shady on GABP). When you have the ceiling painted like clouds, you should just have the damn thing open. Even on hot humid days, people aren't going to the concrete dungeon for respite, fellas.
Brick and steel may go with the whole style and retro, but I prefer the pure white-and-red of GABP. I think its one of the prettiest modern parks out there. Busch looks a bit too warehouse-y and knockoff-Wrigley. The second one would probably kill the fans to hear. Sorry.
The Ozzie Smith statue looks nothing, nothing, like Ozzie Smith. Courtesy of Gaslamp Ball:
via assets.sbnation.com
Great, you made the face of your franchise look like a burn victim with a beard.

I don't mean to sound too cynical, it was a baseball game, it was a lovely night, and St. Louisians are some of the friendliest people I've met. I got a $90 seat right behind home plate for $30, and I ended up chatting a bit with the woman who sold the ticket to the scalper for $10. I really have nothing bad to say about the city itself, as long as you stay out of the parts that have seething poverty.

And if anyone ends up going to Saint Louis to catch a game, the Metrolink Light Rail is entirely on the honor system...except at Busch Stadium where you actually have to buy a pass. I couldn't even play the "hey, I'm an out of towner [I pretended I was from Detroit and the idea of Mass Transit frightened me. No dice]"

So the game was pretty bland, I must say. Porcello wasn't as dominating as I hoped. Something frightening happened to Joel Piniero that I'm sure we'll hear about later. Pujols coming up for a pinch-hit groundout was fun to watch. Khalil Greene got WAY to big of an applause (when I saw that the starting SS was "Greene" I automatically assumed it was Khalil. Who the hell is Tyler? Is he Bahai'i too?)

Here are my notes I saved on my phone from the game

Americorps does recycling at the game. Poor folks. Some Americorps get to do trail crew at national parks, some pick up my beers. Them the breaks.
Cardinals have cheerleaders like the Reds: same get-up and all. One cheerleader got way too into it, though. Remember the Cheerleading scene from The Replacements? Well, this girl was kind of like that. And the other cheerleaders were obviously kind of put off by it. Worth a giggle.
As much as I don't want to like Skip Schumaker...his at-bat music is Brass Monkey. That's kind of cool, actually.
Speaking of the Wizard of Oz, there's something fairly strange about seeing fat white dudes in SMITH 1 jerseys. I can't put my finger on it, but I find it stranger than any other jersey style.
And speaking of jerseys, there was some dude with a personalized Cardinals #45 jersey. I was kind of hoping Bob Gibson (whose statue is nothing like Ozzie's, and is actually kind of scary in a Blink from Doctor Who sort of way) would show up and kick the dude's ass, screaming "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? LOOK AT MY STATS FROM '68, PUNK!"

That's it, y'all. Except more colorful reports from when the Reds come to Cleveland in a couple of weeks.

The City of Cincinnati rebrands itself, goes away from anything remotely interesting

Cy Schourek — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:09:12 -0000

The City of Cincinnati rebrands itself, goes away from anything remotely interesting

Looks like y'alls taxpayer money is going up for some new letterhead (but not design fees, because Macy's paid the designers themselves). Cincinnati has a new logo, and it is probably the least unique branding I've seen. Forget this "Place Branding" fad, this "c" could stand for Columbus, or Cleveland, or Chillicothe, or even Cinque Terre!

Yeah, its quick and dirty and from snohio's image. But I figure it'll be good to put this up for...

Cy Schourek — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:39:57 -0000

Yeah, its quick and dirty and from snohio's image. But I figure it'll be good to put this up for posterity.