My friends, it's time to talk about the longhorn in the room.

Over the past four years, our beloved conference has seen one third of our original members defect to other conferences. Some left to spite their longtime in-state or border rivals, while others simply wandered off after discovering that it was legal to smoke weed during away games in California and Oregon. Regardless of motive, the instability caused by these defections nearly killed off the Big 12 in 2010 and 2011.

Hell, at one point last year it was so bad that Cyclone and Wildcat fans were actively hoping their teams would end up in the Big East.

So who was the de facto leader of the Big 12 for those four years? Which team had enough money to just buy off the NCAA and still have enough left over to gold-plate the inside of Charlie Weis' colon, yet continued to demand unequal revenue sharing? Which school was willing to let an entire conference crash and burn just so they could get their shitty network on three dozen TVs in Texas and throw up a giant middle finger to College Station?

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Hey! It's apparently RELEGATION WEEK here in the SBNation blogosphere. And we here at WRNL had decided to see what would happen if, say, the Big12 were to relegate one team to C-USA over the years. And then Bill C. totally and completely beat us to the punch. Just absolutely went nuts on it. Still, seems like a waste not to run this.

So in the not so distant past, there was a post over on the BHGP that discussed what would happen is Relegation were a part of college football. And to be honest while I enjoyed laughing at the misfortunes of Indiana, I wondered what the idea would look like when applied to the Big XII, knowing of ISU's less than stellar track record during that time.

In doing research for this post, I learned much to my dismay that, Relegators do not, in fact, Relegate the stealing of Warren G's property. They are also not damn good, too. But the idea of Relegation comes to us from that most foreign of familiar places: England, America's weirdo half-brother, and soccer, Football's weirdo half-brother.

(I actually have absolutely nothing against England, and will admit to getting excited about 'Futbol' every four years in conjunction with the World Cup, but I remain woefully ignorant in my knowledge of the EPL. If any of this info is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

In English Football, the best 20 teams make up the Premier League. At the end of each season, the three worst teams are "Relegated," or demoted to the "Football League Championship." (England's version of the AAA minor League teams in MLB.) The two top teams in this league at the end of the season get promoted to the Premier League, and the next four teams have a playoff to determine the third team to be promoted. The core principle is not unlike what we've seen in the BCS: Even if you are a small to mid-level team, a year (or two) worth of continued dominance will give you a shot at one of the Big Boys as a BCS at-large bid. However, with the threat of humiliation and demotion on the line, even the end-of-the-season pillow fights between cellar-dwelling teams take on huge meaning.

In the BGHP example, the last place team in the conference was relegated to the MAC for a year, while the MAC champion was promoted. Looking at a map of current conferences, The WAC is a good fit as a second tier for the PAC-12, and the Sun Belt occupies almost the exact same footprint as the SEC. As a result, the Big 12 gets Conference USA as their second tier. It's not a perfect fit, but both have a considerable presence in Oklahoma and Texas, both were founded in the mid-90's, and both are headquartered in Irving, Texas.

Ground Rules are as follows: One team up, one team down. Ties broken by head-to-head competition if possible, Common Opponents, then overall record. If multiple teams from a conference are up for a spot, the best candidate from each conference are put head to head.

So, without any further ado, lets hop into the Wayback Machine and see where it takes us:

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When the ICGA took over sponsorship of the Cy-Hawk trophy, they decided to try and replace the oft-maligned original Cy-Hawk trophy. They took a hell of a gamble, and ended up being roundly mocked for their "Family Kneeling Around Basket of Corn."

So after a flood of fans broke the "disposable" Cy-Hawk trophy this year, the ICGA found themselves still in need of a trophy. They've decided to play it safe this year, and let all of us ordinary Joe Cyclones and Jane Hawkeyes vote on which very safe and very corny design gets chosen. (I really wish that word choice wasn't so spot-on in description.)

Here are the three nominees:

#1: Cy and Herky Hold a Football

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With the new SBNation Youtube channel doing moderately well in its' infancy, more and more pressure has been placed on us member blogs to try and put out some video content. Sadly, most of the WRNL writing staff is not what you'd call "photogenic." Hell, most of us don't even have cameras.

So we came up with a plan. We pooled together all of our funds from the Dreamy shirts and the Riot T's and for $5,000 we hired the Cedar Rapper himself - Notti Boy. (And his director, 1st Beezy.) Mr. Boy's talents first caught our eye via the Hawkeyes Anthem video in which he played an overweight white guy who dropped phat rhymes in front of the burned out remnants of Cedar Rapids and had to dress in layers because, hey, it's really cold in Iowa. But it wasn't until his smash hit "Posted on the SouthEast Side" went viral that the world found out just how hard living in Cedar Rapids can truly be. The images of seemingly idyllic street signs contrasted with heavy, formulaic rap beats were ironic enough to catch our attention, but the lyrics about how the drug epidemic is ravaging small communities and images of being bored and sitting around a table somehow rang true to us as Iowans.

"Crack House around the corner

Drug Dealer 'cross the street

Weed man next door's got access to plenty keys"

If anyone can create the perfect rap video to show the darker and more badass side of Ames, Iowa... it is Notti Boy. And for $5000, he told us he'd shoot us a music video of our own. While we are only in pre-production at the moment, the video for WIDE RIGHT NOTTY LITE - "PINSTRIPE BOWL SHUFFLE" (it's a working title) is guaranteed to at least include the following sequences:

• Footage of the 2004 VEISHEA riots played in slow motion, interspersed with audio of Larry Eustachy getting thrown out of the 2000 Midwest Regional Final. A flaming dumpster rolls down the street while an announcer wails "WHERE ARE THE ASSISTANT COACHES?"
• Rapping in such locales as the Friley dungeons, the Campanile Bell Tower, the Power Plant, and that creepy area North of campus around the Applied Sciences Complex
  
• The repeated use of the phrase "Cardinal and Gold" several times in a row by background singers.
• At some point we will probably get drunk on Hennessy and Natty Lite and verbally abuse both Gene Chizik and Greg McDermott
• Scotty Christopherson in a Fedora and Run DMC Glasses
• After a sound bite is inappropriately edited and taken out of context to drive controversy and page views, we will get some very angry calls from Jesse Jackson.
  
• Blatant namedropping of Seneca Wallace, A.J. Klein, and Tony Yelk

That's probably all I can contractually say, but don't be surprised if a certain "Godfather of WRNL" makes a cameo appearance in the third verse. Look for WIDE RIGHT NOTTY LITE's world premiere, coming to an SBNation youtube channel near you.

First of all, let's address the elephant in the room: The referees in this year's NCAA tournament may be the worst we've seen in a long time. Unlike the UNC-Asheville screwjob, this one was fair: the terrible and inexplicable calls were numerous in both directions tonight, and in the end most of the terribleness balanced out: The refs seemed more interested in make-up calls than actually calling the game as they saw it. Wildly inconsistent throughout the first half, it was only a matter of time before one team or another ended up getting boned by a bullshit call. Thankfully for the refs, Kentucky went vintage UK and went on a nice run at the end of the half, and then again right after the Cyclones' came out firing to start the second half - saving the refs from having to decide between making the right call and making it out of KFC YUM! arena alive.

Secondly, I want to give credit to Kentucky. They are a very special team, and I'll be disappointed if they don't win the championship this year. The sheer amount of size and athleticism they posses would make them any High Major Conference coach drool, but the deft shooting touch they showed tonight was truly incredible. Unlike the streaks of three point shots that punctuated the best parts our season, the Wildcats seemingly made every single open look they had. There's a reason they're the #1 team in the nation.

The obvious stat from the game is the dismal 13.6% shooting from behind the arc - when a team that lives by the three point shot goes 3 for 22, they're really just dying by the three. Despite a serious run to tie the game early in the second half, (and the best example of Royce's Beast Mode we've seen yet,) this year's team is designed to win shooting the long ball. Tonight, the Cyclones just couldn't get their shots to drop, and Kentucky fed off what was essentially a home crowd in Louisville.

And so the 2011-2012 campaign comes to a close. We will forever miss the antics of Scott Christopherson - the guy is a short pale unstoppable shit-starting machine, but was just enough of a short pale goofball to pull it off. Dude was a true son of #CyclONEnation, and with that babyface, he should able to drink for free on Welch Ave. and hit on sorority girls until he's well into his 40s. (So long as he avoids being a dick about it - a.k.a John Neal syndrome.)

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[A cheaply made infomercial airs to a non-existent audience at 3 a.m. on Mediacom channel 22.]

"Hello there, Dr. Larry here with my faithful assistant Bueker, bringing you yet another exciting product from Wide Right Natty Labs designed make your life easier! Do you agonize over how deep to take the Cyclones in your NCAA tournament office pool bracket? Do you struggle with picking Kentucky in the second round, feeling like a traitor? Do you pencil in Iowa State to the final four in a bout of loyalty, knowing it's a fools bet when Kentucky is such a heavy favorite to win it all? "

"MEEP!"

"And I, as well, Bueker. It's easy enough to pick objectively teams you don't care about, but trying to decide how far to advance Iowa State in your office pool bracket is always going to be a struggle between fanboyish optimism and reality. This year is a real Sophies's Choice, because we all know how well this team can play when they're hitting on all cylinders. But the path to surviving the weekend is going to be an absolutely brutal one - the defending national champions followed by the #1 overall seed in what will essentially be a home game for Kentucky."

"Meep Meep Meep MEEP?"

"Indeed. Blood everywhere. But with this revolutionary new product, we have not only found a scientific way to calculate when it is okay to pick against your school, we have actually found a way to quantify the amount of shame you should feel in doing so."

"Meeeeeeeep."

"That's right. For example, take the game on Thursday against Connecticut. Thanks to Connect-four-icut's status as defending national champions and their insane 11-game post-season winning streak last year, a lot of national experts are already talking about the Kentucky vs. Connect-the-dots matchup as if it were a foregone conclusion. Just remember two things: Everyone's bracket gets busted every year anyway, and it is NEVER okay to pick against your alma mater in the first round if they are the higher seed. My assistant Bueker will now use our new product to calculate the amount of shame you should feel should you pick the XBox Kinect-icuts instead of the Cyclones."

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This one clinches it. We're going to the tournament for the first time since 2005. It's BOWIE TIME.

FREE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST AND ROYCE - The Royce White Anxiety story has officially found it's way into USA Today, which means that it's pretty much the same story you've already read on ESPN and in the Register, but written at an 8th grade reading level. (And delivered straight to your hotel room door.)

TWENTY! - Last night had the potential to be a real trap game, and for at least one half Texas Tech looked like the better team. Not sure what Fred said in the locker room, but it seemed to work. ISU came out and dominated the second half, turning a 4 point halftime deficit into an 18 point victory. Particularly noteworthy is this little nugget:

Iowa State held the Red Raiders (8-19, 1-14) without a field goal for the final 7:58.

THE HORIZONTAL OFFENSE - Continuing their trend of hiring OC's to act as criticism lighning rods, Iowa looks like they're actually going to go through with hiring Greg Davis. Yes, the same Greg Davis who managed all of 7 points in three quarters when we beat Texas back in 2010. As usual, BHGP has a breakdown of the reasons this makes sense, but the consensus seems to be that he'll be Ken O'Keefe 2.0 - Now with ALL OF THE SCREEN PASSES!

SHOOTER BE FLOPPIN: Shortly after this daytime Emmy-winning sequence, Luke Adams was offered a spot on the 2014 Italian World Cup Soccer Team. (H/T to @Bubbaprog)

Iowa State is on an upswing right now, and it is AWESOME. Our football team managed to scrape out 6 wins against the 2nd hardest schedule in the country, and pulled the upset of the year against Oklahoma State. The prodigal son has returned from his time in the wilderness of Minnesota and has his team looking at the first legitimate NCAA berth since the Godfather of WRNL roamed the sidelines as the drunken master of the Big XII. Times are good, Cyclone Nation.

And while the younger fans buy in for their first "ALL IN" moment and the older fans wait for the other shoe to drop in yet another of the soul-crushing disappointments that seem to punctuate our fandom, take a moment to realize that no small part of this is because we've got this whole series of tubes figured out. In a sense, we are WINNING THE INTERNET.

Let's start with the most obvious example. I'm SO PROUD to once again link to this video that has been viewed over 370,000 times since it went up after a young, charismatic coach gave a giant middle finger to 85,938 screaming savages clad in scarlet. It's probably no coincidence that when we came within a fake FG of doing it again the next year, Nebraska says "Fuck This" and headed to the Big 10 to go roll a different group of Iowans.

Despite his similarity in appearance to Gomer Pyle, it seems that in 2009 Jamie Pollard was smart enough to realize that Paul Rhoads' maxed out Charisma stat was the best weapon in ISU's football arsenal. This being the 21st century and all, videotape is cheap, and Youtube accounts are free. Why not send out a grad assistant with a handheld camcorder to capture Our Great General in the process of motivating his troops? Nebraska comes down with a case of fumblitis, and suddenly you're parlaying Youtube gold into SportsCenter segments and a prime spot on the major networks' end of season college football montages. Iowa State is legitimately one of the few feel good stories right now in a vast sea of college football corruption. Publicity is everything, but if they won't put you on TV, take advantage of the fact that high speed internet is ubiquitous among ISU alumni.

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WHO IS THIS AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?

Barkley Hill is a high school senior at Cedar Falls who was this year's ESPN Iowa Football POY. Realistically, he is a 3-star RB recruit who went unranked by Rivals and who was verbally commited to Iowa State until a few hours ago, when news broke that he had switched allegiances to the Hawkeyes.

SO WHY ALL THE COMMOTION?

Because of our need as a species to ascribe larger meaning to insignificant things.

Barkley Hill is a work-horse RB who has some speed and flash but makes his quality yards hauling defenders on his back. He can block and take a beating as necessary. He's the sort of square peg that fits perfectly in the square hole that is Kirk Ferentz's Pro-style offense.

So when he committed to Spread-happy Iowa State back in April, some less-rational Cyclone fans in certain corners of the internet decided to frame the decision as a referendum on just who the actual football power in the state was. This is because people get crazy stupid when it comes to sports, and I mean that in both great and horrible ways.

AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S AN INSUFFERABLE HAWK FAN DANCING IN MY OFFICE?

He might just be on meth, but yeah, pretty much. If a major Iowa HS recruit committing to Iowa State means that Iowa State is overtaking Iowa as "the" in-state school, then clearly a reversal to Iowa is a refutation of that logic and an excuse for the same sort of irrational fan in other corners of the internet to crow about how this is because Iowa is so much better than ISU.

By the way - if the Hawk fan is the sort of recruitnik who actually knew who Barkley Hill was before this incident, put in a call to HR. There's a 50% chance that they'll find a google search for "athletic 17 year old boys" and the problem should sort itself out.

SO WHY THE FLIP?

Besides the fact that it's probably really fun as a teenager to just troll the shit out of grown-ass men who hang on your every tweet? Probably has a lot to do with early playing time. Iowa State's White/Woody/Johnson trio is returning next year as Juniors. Iowa, on the other hand... can YOU name who the starting back will be next year with Coker gone?

So yeah. Iowa State loses a guy who probably wouldn't have contributed much for a couple years, and Iowa gets a shiny new toy for the AIRBHG to break. Grown men continue to shell out money to websites that supposedly offer insights into the decisions of high school students, and the absurd juggernaut that is college football staggers on.

THERE'S NO IONA STATE, RIGHT? - For the past few years, the closest any team from the Cyclone state has gotten to the NCAA tournament was when a sportswriter would accidentally misspell "Iona" filling out their brackets. Despair no more: The Sporting News has Iowa State projected as a 13 seed in this year's March Madness.

HE'S LIKE BOBBY KNIGHT MINUS THE WINNING - Yesterday was a pretty brutal day for our in-state rivals to the east. Maybe that's why, shortly after getting T'd up during a soul-crushing 95-61 loss to Michigan State, Fran McCaffery decided to spike his chair on to the court during a time-out huddle. Now we know why Fran was introduced with the catchphrase "LETS GET MAD AGAIN!" (Because actually being competitive is far too much to ask of this team.)

MORE DELICIOUS SCHADENFREUDE - Marcus Coker, who was suspended for the Insight Bowl, is now the 14th straight Iowa RB to leave the Hawkeyes before playing their senior season. The Iowa Athletic Department isn't saying much, but apparently he was the focus of a sexual assault investigation back in October.

M-I-Z-Z-(FUCK)-U - Tonight, #8 Mizzou (fresh off a loss to Kansas State) comes to Hilton to face a surging Cyclone team who has won 7 straight. A win tonight could elevate the Cyclones from "Bubble Tournament Team" to "Legit Big XII Contender." For that to happen, though, we need to dust off the ol' Hilton Magic. So please, on behalf of those of us who are stuck multiple states away: GO TO THIS GAME IF YOU ARE AT ALL ABLE. (The last time we said this was the Iowa State/Okie State football game, and we all know how that turned out.) If you can't make it, the game will be on ESPN3 and/or a bunch of local affiliates that are listed in the sidebar to the left at 7:00 PM CST

IN SPANDEX NEWS - Senior Michelle Browning, last year's Big XII Gymnast of the year, pulled down the first "Big XII Gymnast of the Week award" of the year after winning the all-around in a meet against Mizzou. The Cyclones are currently ranked 24th in the country.

ROLL CY-DE - USA Today reminds everyone that Alabama never would have won their 14th title without a little help from Paul Rhoads and company. Between this and foisting Gene Chizik upon Auburn, Alabama really should be sending fruit baskets, champagne, and expensive whores to Jamie Pollard.

Congrats to WARTHOG/Mark117705 on picking 26 of 35 correctly and winning your choice of WRNL T-shirt! Please let us know your e-mail address and size in the comments or send us an e-mail at widerightnattylite@gmail.com, and we will get your prize.

(CanAzn is on a week-long bender, so he asked me to fill in for him in the meantime.)

DONT BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR KODOS: Iowa State gets some love in the latest round of polls, managing to scrounge up exactly one vote in both the AP and Coaches' Top 25 Polls. The Cyclones' current RPI ranking is #42, and a win this week against either Mizzou or Kansas would probably bump them into "Bubble Team" territory.

CAN'T SPELL ROYCE WITHOUT "R.O.Y." - Royce White's game against Texas A&M earned him his second Big 12 Rookie of the Week honor, and an inside track on Big XII Rookie of the Year. Not too bad for a guy who was still suffering from a bout of stomach flu and threw up in a trash can shortly after throwing down a triple-double against A&M. Of course, if you really want to know just how much of a force the former Golden Gopher has been, just check out the Iowa State team page on CBS Sports:

DRAFT MOCKERY - Dane Brugler has the Steelers taking Kelechi Osemele with the 24th pick in the NFL draft. Expect this to change approximately 38 times between now and the actual NFL draft. Meanwhile, Leonard Johnson still has a shot as a second rounder, mostly thanks to his jaw-dropping performance against Justin Blackmon.

FAKE GRASS (NO, NOT THAT KIND) - Iowa State will be installing a "MONDOTURF" soccer field in the new Cyclone Sports Complex. We can only assume that the good people at "TUBULARTURF" and "RADGRASS" are inconsolable at this moment.

THIS AWARD NEEDS A BLOGGER CATEGORY: John Walters is your NSSA Iowa Sportscaster of the Year.

FROM THE MOTHERSHIP: Spencer Hall's eulogy to the CFB season will put you smack-dab in the heart of New Orleans for the final weekend of the college football season. Well worth reading, even if it's not Cyclone-related.

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While we here at WRNL are not allowed to officially endorse any political candidate or party*, because frankly, we don't want to be associated with any of them. We're just relieved that it ends tonight, and everyone heads for South Carolina and Santorum leaves us the fuck alone while were trying to watch the goddamn bowl game.

We do, however, support any opportunity to get good and drunk. With that in mind, here are tonight's official "WRNL Loves the Caucus Drinking Game." Rules are very simple:

TURN ON CNN.

• Take a drink any time you see someone you know.
• Take a drink any time they show their little cylindrical 3-D CGI people.
  
• Take a drink any time you see someone who isn't white.
  
• Take a drink any time you see a room or location you have been in.
• Finish your drink if you have ever been drunk, naked, or had sex in the forementioned location.

LETS GIVE THIS WHOLE PROCESS THE AMOUNT OF RESPECT IT ACTUALLY DESERVES!

(*We have written-in "Troy Davis" on our ballots in every election except 2006, when we just scrawled "Fuck The Hawks" across the page in giant letters, drew a fire-breathing gnome sitting on a mushroom toking up in the "Do not write here" space, dropped a biohazard-level fart in the polling booth, and walked out.)

This year's New Era Pinstripe Bowl will be the 4th bowl game ever played in NYC. If history is any indication, tomorrow's game will be anything but normal. Here's a brief rundown of the history of failed post-season college football in New York.

GOTHAM BOWL 0 - 1960 (No Game Played)

From the New York Times:

Headlines trumpeted the Gotham Bowl as a welcome addition to the 1960 bowl parade. Organizers envisioned a packed Yankee Stadium with brass bands and 55,000 cheering fans. They trotted out the former Giants great Ken Strong to drum up excitement. Wouldn’t it be great, Strong wondered aloud, if Notre Dame or Syracuse would accept invitations to play?

But Notre Dame did not play bowl games in those days. Syracuse turned down an invitation to the Gotham Bowl, as did Oregon State, Colorado and even Holy Cross. Who could blame them? Mid-December in New York is usually, well, bone-chillingly cold. The result: no Gotham Bowl in 1960.

Think about that for a second. They expected 55,000 cheering fans to show up to a December bowl game in NYC. They even trotted out a former New York Giant to try and get some marquee talent on board (and when that failed, Colorado.)

It should be noted at this point that there were only 9 Bowl Games played at the end of the 1960 season. Rose, Sugar, Orange, Cotton, Sun, Gator, Tangerine, Bluebonnet, and Liberty. Only 18 teams actually got to play in Bowl Games back then. How times have changed.

This would be nothing more than a sad case of delusional expectations had it not been for the absolutely ridiculous invitation process:

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Today's Episode is brought to you by the letters A and K, and the by number 47.

Need an excuse to take in all 35 Bowl Games over the next few weeks? Want to win your choice of WRNL T-Shirts? Why not sign up for the WRNL Bowl Pick 'Em Contest? The winner gets a free T-shirt of their choice from the WRNL store, and you get the satisfaction of knowing there's something on the line when Wyoming takes on Temple this Saturday.

(When you sign up, please name your pick set in such a manner that we can figure out who is who. Your WRNL screenname works pretty well, for example.)

For those who haven't ever done one of these contests before, the premise is simple. Pick the team that you believe will win each of the 35 bowl games, and then rank the teams in the order of confidence that you have in each pick. Each correct answer gets you points corresponding to the amount of confidence placed in the pick.

If you need some information about each bowl game with which to make your pick, you could do a lot worse than this article where he ranks the bowl games from top to bottom and gives the Cyclones some love:

29. New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Rutgers vs. Iowa State. Those aren't empty seats: they're Rutgers fans, who are by nature invisible once they enter New York City. But they're there, so nevermind if you think Iowa State running roughshod over the Scarlet Knights without witnesses. You'll be there, and I'll be there, and so will the silent legions of television-watching invisible people.

YOUR STUPID NON-COLLEGE-FOOTBALL-WATCHING RELATIVE SAYS: "I have no idea why Rutgers isn't huge in New York, man. These Skechers shape-ups are really working my abs, by the way."

Sometimes, less is more though. Sometimes, you just don't want to write that much. 17 syllables is enough.

Here's everything you don't need to know about the bowl games. In Haiku form.

WRNL BOWL GAME PREVIEW HAIKU

New Mexico Bowl - Wyoming vs. Temple

Both are eight win teams
First game of the bowl season
Winner gets a pot

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Utah State vs. Ohio

A sad punter tweets
"Who the fuck wants to play there?"
Should have won the MAC

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - Louisiana-Lafayette vs. San Diego State

Most Creole of Bowls
Ragin' Cajuns, Superdome
Bourbon Street Stumble

Beef O Brady's Bowl - Marshall vs. Florida International

They have a bowl game?
At least it's in Florida
Try the Cheese Poppers

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We don't usually talk about sports other than basketball and football here at WRNL, but any time a Cyclone team wins a first round game in an NCAA tournament, it's worth talking about. (It also has the added benefit of helping me justify my Clone Zone subscription to myself, but that's a whole different story.)

The Cyclone volleyball team, ranked #4 in the country, hosted the UW-Milwaukee Panthers tonight at Hilton Coliseum. The Panthers qualified for the tournament by winning the Horizon League tournament, and were undefeated (16-0) in league play.

Despite trailing for a majority of the second game, the Cyclones won in 3 straight games, 25-19, 25-23, and 25-23. The Cyclones continually did just enough to outpace the Panthers, and the first two game points were thrilling volleys that each contained a half dozen spikes and countering digs. Jamie Straube led the Cyclones with 15 Kills and 4 Blocks, while Alison Landwher served up 35 Assists and 10 digs of their own. Full interactive stats can be found here.)

The Cyclones will face Miami (FL) in the second round tomorrow night, who beat Northern Illinois 3 games to 1 earlier in the night. The winner of that match will advance to a sweet 16 berth in MInneapolis next Friday, likely against the #13 ranked Minnesota Golden Gophers. (Full bracket can be found here.)

This year, more than any other year, Iowa State fans have been watching the coaching carousel with an extra large mix of fear and dread. Despite CPR's continued assurances that he isn't going anywhere, his name has been linked to quite a few coaching searches. (Illinois, Ohio State, and Penn State just to name a few.) Like many of you, I believe he's here for the long haul. Doesn't make me any less nervous when I turn on the local sports radio talking heads and there's an Ole Miss fan talking about how "That guy from Iowa State is exactly what we need to compete again in the SEC!*"

But there was another threat always lurking. Somewhere, off the coast of Key West, the Dread Pirate Leach was biding his time. Watching. Waiting. Probably drinking a rum-based beverage. Getting interviews with various D-1 schools despite the hit job put out by Craig James, famed killer of hookers. (Seriously. Read Leach's side of the story, and try and feign surprise that Mr. James would use his ESPN connections to try and sell Texas Tech on his son.)

And then Kansas fired Turner Gill on Sunday. (When reached for comment, an unusually livid Gill was quoted as saying "Darn it all to Heck!") The Leach to KU talk started almost immediately, and he seemed like the perfect candidate for a Big XII team that was sick of having a "nice coach who loses" and might be in the market for a slightly dickish coach who could deliver some wins.

It would also have the likely side effect of making Kansas competitive again. When you're struggling for six wins because you're playing in a round robin schedule in the hardest top-to-bottom conference in football, you don't want the only team you've been favored against all year to suddenly start getting good again.

Breathe easy, Cyclone Nation. Today, the dread pirate was seen setting sail for the Pacific, where he will be coaching the Washington State Cougars. This not only has the potential to make the late-night games infinitely more watchable during the college football season, it means that the Pac-12 North has a pretty good chance of outscoring the entire Big Ten next season.

We here at WRNL would like to raise our tankards of ale to the return of the one true Pirate King of college football. May the wind always find your sails, may your players' little girlfriends not be fat, and may Craig James be forced to announce all your bowl games.

(And may Tommy Tuberville last another five seasons at Texas Tech, because Rhoads flat out OWNS that guy.)

*This is not an exaggeration. I actually heard that statement from a caller, word for word, on my way home from work yesterday. Seems that Oklahoma State win turned a few heads in SEC country, and not just in Alabama.

With the results of yesterday's games finally in the books, we've got a pretty good idea of where the Cyclones might head for a post-season berth. We'll walk you through each potential destination and the current probability of the Cyclones being chosen by each bowl game.

According to the latest SBNation BCS projections, the top of the BCS rankings should look like this:

Week 14 BCS Standings projections:

1. LSU, 2. Alabama, 3. Oklahoma State, 4. Virginia Tech, 5. Stanford, 6. Boise State, 7. Houston, 8. Arkansas, 9. Oklahoma, 10. Oregon, 11. Kansas State, 12. South Carolina, 13. Georgia, 14. Michigan State, 15. Wisconsin, 16. Michigan, 17. Baylor, 18. TCU.

Which would cause the "Big 5" games to shake out as such:

BCS Championship:  1. LSU vs. 2. Alabama
Rose Bowl:  Oregon vs. Michigan State
Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. LOLBIGEAST
Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. AT-LARGE
Sugar Bowl: Stanford vs. Houston

With the Big East, ACC, Big 10, and Pac-12 spots all guaranteed to the Rose and Orange Bowls this year, the remaining at-large pick order goes something like this:

Sugar Bowl - (Pick to replace LSU)
Fiesta Bowl - (Pick to oppose Big 12 Champ)
Sugar Bowl - (Gets stuck with Houston)

So unless the Fiesta Bowl goes nuts and decides that they want to burn their at-large pick on Houston (or the Sugar overlooks Stanford in favor of K-State or Oklahoma), it looks like only one Big 12 team will make a BCS game. The Fiesta Bowl isn't going to pick two Big XII schools for their matchup. 

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How About a Magic Trick?

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAA!

HONOR BEFORE VICTORY

(BUT VICTORY IS GOOD TOO)

COME JOIN US AND CONGRATULATE US ON FUCKING UP THE BCS BITCHES!!!!!

ALSO: BOWL ELIGIBLE MOTHERFUCKERS

YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA