OK here I go...

Most of you know I am a professional stand-up comedian, in addition to being an FSU football fanatic & Tomahawk Nation afficianado.

Saturday, October 1st, from 7-8:30pm, I am producing, starring, and filming my very own show in the first-annual Orlando Comedy Festival......for the first time, EVER.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT COMEDY SHOW OF......ALLLLLLL.......TIME!!!!!

#NoHyperbole

If you don't believe that, then you carry alligator DNA, and should probably be investigated by the Tomahawk Nation Inquisition (because "nooooooooobody expects the TN Inquisition").

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.....I thank you.

I thank you for building the Franchise that FSU football has become.
I thank you for accomplishing feats that will never be matched.
I thank you for leaving your franchise (and it will remain YOUR franchise for years to come) in such obviously capable hands.
I even thank you for having Terry Bowden call my Junior College to inquire about me simply because you met my Dad at a speaking engagement at a church.
I thank you for your class in handling the end.
I thank you--in advance--for your silence about wanting to coach another year.


You did things that will not be seen again in our lifetimes.  You were top 5 for 14 straight seasons, winning 2 National Championships and only losing 19 games along the way.  Kinda puts the Urban Myer "streak" in perspective, doesn't it?  You put more players in the NFL then any other College Coach in history.  Kinda puts Butch Davis in perspective, doesn't it?  You are classy in victory and humble in defeat.  Kinda puts Steve Spurrier in perspective, doesn't it?

As you know (because you are an avid reader of FFAuncensored), I called for your retirement(and Mickey's)....as well as the firings of Chuck Amato & Jody Allen.  I want there to be no ill feelings between us sir; just know that I made that call not out of a lack of respect for you, or a disrespect of your position and accomplishments, but merely out of love for the Franchise that YOU built...........YOUR Franchise.

I only want what is best for FSU Football, and once again............you have given us that.  Not only by bequeathing us a fantastic successor, but by WINNING--again--and sending our meteoric rise of the last month soaring to such fantastic heights that other programs can do naught but either stand in awe......or cower in fear.

Florida State Football (YOUR Franchise) will return to dominance once more, and quickly, and you should rest assured that your actions over the month of December 2009 contributed to that re-ascension tremendously.

The Seminole "nation" (this refers to the fans, not the Tribe)...even those such as myself who played football at FAMU instead...respect, admire, cherish, and love you Coach Bowden.

We wish you good health and longevity.....that you may see YOUR Franchise rise again, and--at last--be granted your wish to "go out on top".


All my best,
-Derek Russo
(STILL waiting on my scholarship offer......did Jeff not tell you that I committed to him while on my O.V. to FAMU 10 years ago??)









P.S. - Make sure Chuck Amato doesn't steal anything on his way out......he seems kinda bitter.

:D