More photos » by Jeff Chiu - AP

"I'm so high right now. I'm so high and I'm really wishing I had some lumpia. And some more weed. What's this H1N1 that everybody's snorting these days? Is that a drug like marijuana? I love marijuana." (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

Browse more photos »

SB Nation voted on all the traditional end of year awards and this year's winner is Tim Lincecum. Chris Carpenter came in second. I was admittedly apathetic this season and didn't cast a vote, but, in case you were wondering, I would've cast a vote for Heath Bell. I probably would've also voted for Lincecum because he's half-filipino, but that was before the marijuana incident made me realize that he's no better than Barry Bonds or your typical heroin addict lying in a Skid Row gutter. MARIJUANA IS A GATEWAY DRUG!

The rest of the voting after the jump...

Continue reading this post »

More photos » by Ben Margot - AP

"I am freaking out right now, man. I am freaking out. Is that guy following us, man? Who is that guy? I think he's following us." AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Browse more photos »

Tim "Barrel Man" Lincecum was caught driving around with the marijuana and a pipe with which to smoke it out of.

Personally, I'm not surprised at all considering the Giants organization is rife - rife, I say - with drug abusers and hoodlums. It's this blogger's opinion that Lincecum should be stripped of his Cy Young Award, his copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, any Tibetan prayer flags currently in his possession and his disc golf disc collection.

Disgusting, disgusting behavior.

I have 5 Google Wave invites. I have more, but I want to give these away to lurkers. If you don't know what Google Wave is, I dunno what to say. It's only the next new thing that nobody knows what it is.

The first 5 lurkers (regulars, but non commenters) who register and comment in this thread get an invite. I'll let you know who you are and you can send an email to me dex at gaslamp ball dot com.

If you're a regular or non-lurker, don't worry. I have more to give away. This is for the lurker crowd.

Contest starts.... NOW!!!

Here's a word of warning to you if you're slinging guns or laying pipe in and around Petco Park: Clear outta town because there's a storm coming. (Listen to this while you read the rest of this post and think of good comments).

I'll be honest with you. I never quite understood what Grady Fuson was doing here. As I said many years ago:

Grady Fuson wants to create a "draft pipeline" for the Padres. I'm pretty sure I have no idea what the heck that means. Grady Fuson needs to lay off the sauce. Seriously, what does that mean? Can I get a job as director of scouting by repackaging what teams already do and calling them fancy fake names? Hey Padres, hire me. I won't just set you up with a draft pipeline. It'll be a full-on draft aquaduct, holmes. I could so do Fuson's job.

Continue reading this post »

So it has been written and so it shall come to pass. After talking about it tons and tons, the Padres have finally decided to let everybody know that, yes, what everybody in America has known since last Tuesday, Jed Hoyer is the new GM of the Padres.

Was I the only one hoping for some 11th hour crazy news? Maybe yes. Maybe no.

I got an email to a Jed Hoyer mailbag from September of last year. I don't know about you, but this guy is a mystery to me. I know that he's young and bright. He's never been a GM before, but he's being given the chance.

I'm reminded a little of Paul DePodesta except that Jed worked for a good GM. Hahahahahaha. That's a Billy Beane joke.

Here's one thing from the mailbag that stands out to me:

Curt [Schilling] took the very unusual step of representing himself.  He was well prepared and detail oriented throughout the process.  Whenever we would exchange offers, Curt would take it and then disappear to his office for an hour or so before responding. After we were done with the deal, I went into his office to find a quiet place to type up the final terms.  On Curt’s desk was ‘Negotiating for Dummies’ or ‘My First Negotiation’ or some such book. Theo and I just cracked up.

On the one hand, it makes me laugh that Curt Schilling figures that he can represent himself because he read about negotiations in a book. On the other hand, I'm a little nervous, because Schilling got himself a pretty good deal. I know that books in the Dummies series are usually well written and Curt Schilling seems reasonably bright (brilliant and witty if you ask some Gaslamp Ballers), but really?

So, I'm looking over all of my Google News alerts and what not and it looks like it's a done deal. Jed Hoyer is our new General Manager. Kevin Towers is just taking up office space now.

Keep in mind, I'm not positive that he's been hired, but everybody keeps kinda saying that there are sources and what not and people be quoting each other and, since perception is reality and perspiration is nine tenths inspiration, Jed Hoyer is the GM.

I'm trying to remember now, when jbox and I got a look at the whiteboard that had The Plan on it, if Jed Hoyer's name was on there. If I'm remembering right, it came two steps after "Breakfast All The Time" and immediately after "Distract Local Fans With Lights and Pretty Music".

Wikipedia credits Hoyer with being key in getting Schilling to come over to Boston (Schilling?). Who knows what other behind the scenes things Hoyer has been meddling with? Schilling?

Schiling?

SI.com is reporting the news that Jed Hoyer will be the new Padres GM and the team will announce it later today. I guess that puts to rest any hopes for Kim Ng being the new GM.

Doesn't Jed Hoyer sound like a gunslinger type of name? Moorad says it isn't, but it sure sounds like it is to me.

Hrmmmmmmmm.....

More Thoughts: To be perfectly honest, the Padres GMs that have ever made an impact in my head have been Jack McKeon and Kevin Towers. I remember Randy Smith for his hatchet job of the team and I don't ever really give him credit for bringing Trevor Hoffman on board.

I'm wanting to like Jed Hoyer, but is this the guy who's going to bring the Padres to the postseason like Trader Jack or the Kevin "Gunslinger" Towers? Or is this the guy who's going to Randy Smith the team for another season while we sit around in 4th and 5th place.

I can't wait for the announcement.

Gaslamp Ball will occasionally provide endorsements and judgments in the world of baseball and beyond. Should Gaslamp Ballers need to cast a vote or require an official opinion, look for Gaslamp Ball Proclamations first to see what our official stance is. Thank you.


It has come to our attention that there are those who refer to Anthony Keith Gwynn Jr. as "Tony Gwynn Jr." or even "Tony Gwynn" despite the fact that the real Tony Gwynn is a Hall of Fame, career .338 hitter, while Anthony Keith Gwynn Jr. is a player who looks a little bit like he's constantly leaning forward in the batters box.

Starting now, Gaslamp Ball will refuse to refer to Anthony Keith Gwynn Jr. as "Tony", until he earns the praenomen by completing a full major league season with at least a .300 batting average. Until such a feat has been accomplished, Gaslamp Ball will only refer to the current Gwynn on the Padres roster as "Anthony", "The Lesser Gwynn", or potentially "Tony Two Hundred".

More photos » by Denis Poroy - AP

"I was looking at the Mayan calendar, and 2010 is our year. 2012, not so much." (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

Browse more photos »

I've got a sneak peak at the new Bill James Handbook 2010 and I want to go through and check out what we can look forward to next season. Bill James has been putting these handbooks together forevs and I always look at them with an eye towards who might do what, but also an eye towards pretending that I have an even better predictive model using the guts of a chicken splayed out over a burning Ouija board.

Let's check it...

OK. So what does all of this mean? I'll tell you. It means we're effed.

I mean, maybe we aren't effed-effed, but still. Didn't this team feel faster in August and September? Didn't it feel more powerful? Was that just an illusion?

If this is the projection for our hitters, what does our starting lineup looking like at this point?

1. Everth Cabrera SS
2. David Eckstein 2B
3. Adrian Gonzalez 1B
4. Kevin Kouzmanoff 3B
5. Chase Headley LF
6. Kyle Blanks RF
7. Will Venable CF
8. Nick Hundley C

Is that really it? Doesn't it look weird to look at?

Bright Spots:

• Everth Cabrera and Kyle Blanks both are predicted to up their production and both are young dudes. Everth is especially exciting for his speed and Kyle is exciting for the power. It's like Mantle and Maris! Blanks will probably end up protecting Adrian before the year is out, but probably not to start the season.
  
• Adrian Gonzalez, while not predicted to put 40 over the fence next year, is still slated for another 100+ RBI season with close to 100 runs. Also, the doubles total bodes well for producing runs, but not so well for the needy children, dependent on these sadistic charities who will only donate money when Adrian puts a home run charge in the ball.
  

Mehs:

• Kevin Kouzmanoff's numbers look kinda nice and I'm sure he'll total pretty close, but (sorry Kouz fans) I'm also thinking that a lot of the numbers will be put up in garbagy, unclutchy ways.
• Wouldn't it be nice to have a catcher?
• Something about Tony Gwynn's line looks really depressing.
• Brian Giles is still on the team? How is he predicted to have so many ABs? Am I reading this right?

Tomorrow, let's look at pitchers. That should be scary fun.

In the meantime, the handbook is available for preorder. It would be rad of you to purchase the book through us. Maybe let's take some time right now to make really super bold predictions and then rub them in Bill James's face when ours turn out terrific.