SBNation.com User Blog: Donut King

Berglund, Jackman, Elliott Lift Blues To 2-0 Series Lead Over Defending Champion Kings

Donut King — Fri, 03 May 2013 04:37:46 -0000

We'd seen this game before. The defending Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings have a thing for owning the St. Louis Blues, and they did so for 40 minutes, but could only slide one puck past Brian Elliott, and at that, it was on an early 5-on-3. Not to toot my own horn, but yours truly had something to say about it that pretty much recapitulated the whole thing:

It appears the #StLBlues have no intention of winning a puck battle. This is not good. At all.
— Tyler Atwood (@KingDonutI) May 3, 2013

And then the third period happened. And then shit got real.

First, they started winning puck battles that hadn't been won in the first couple periods. Then the goal from Patrik Berglund, which had to be reviewed due to a possible kicking motion (there was none).

And then . . . something seemingly impossible happened. Barret Jackman became the hero.

That was Jackman's first playoff goal of his career. And it was against last year's Conn Smythe Trophy winner, Jonathan Quick, who reportedly was shaken up in pre-game warmups but looked none the worse for wear in this encounter.

And that was a wonderful pass by Chris Stewart. What a season that guy is still having.

We knew Quick was not going to make another horrific fuck-up like he did to end Game 1, but if you would've told me he would give up a game-winner to Barret Jackman, I'd have told you that you're fucking crazy. Alas, here we are.

The series now shifts to Southern California on Saturday night. But first, with a head-nod to one Sean Gallagher, we're gonna go old school style with some bullet points. Load the chamber:

Brian Elliott looked incredible once again, and people are beginning to ask "Jaro Who?" again. We gave this guy up for dead a couple months ago. This resurgence has been incredible, and if the Blues are going to continue to keep the push on the Kings in this series, he needs to continue his stellar play.
Dustin Brown was back to his former self in this one, throwing the body around and making a couple questionable hits (one of which was called for a penalty as it was pretty much out in open view). This is not to mention his seemingly controlled run on Elliott in the middle of the third. The Blues have to keep this guy away from all the important players before he strikes again. There's a good reason why I keep calling this guy "Captain Dickbag". He's starting to earn that name, and I don't like it one Goddamn bit.
I noticed marked improvement in the play of David Perron and Patrik Berglund. Berglund's improved play was obvious, but Perron may have gone a bit unnoticed. He seems to be flying toward the net a bit more, which is what he needs to do on a more consistent basis if this team is going to make a long run. He can play in the dirty areas, he just at times seems too timid to do so.
If the Blues play either, or both, of the games in LA like they did Thursday, they will lose both of them. You can't expect to show up in the third period and dominate and take control of a game like that, especially not against the defending champs. Play 40 minutes of dogshit hockey in Games 3 and 4, and we're looking at a series all knotted up and coming back to The 'Lou.

Game 3 is Saturday at 9pm CDT at the Staples Center. Plan your drinking schedule accordingly.

LET'S GO BLUES.

Hate Fuel – A Guide To Jeering The Los Angeles Kings

Donut King — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:46:41 -0000

Last year, I did some guides to jeering each team the Blues played in the playoffs. I did two of them, and the second one was the Los Angeles Kings. The Kings ended up winning the Stanley Cup last year despite being, veritably, the last team into the postseason. I surely hope they don't win it again this year because that would mean the Blues lost in the first round. And also, it would mean that this is the only "Hate Fuel" guide I would be able to write this postseason. And fuck that noise.

Anyway, I had enough fun and got enough hate mail from those pieces last year, not to mention some encouragement from Game Time commenters and staff, that I decided to give it another go. Hell, since we played these guys last year, I decided to keep some of the retorts basically the same as last year. So I'm unoriginal. Fuck it.

Also . . . fuck fearing this team.

We all know what happened between these two sides last year . . . and over here on the Blues end of things, we're all pretty sure we don't want that to happen again this year(unless you're a Goddamn sadist . . . then again, sadism and Blues fandom sometimes go hand-in-hand).

I basically took each player from the roster - whether or not they played for the NHL club this year - and came up with (or, in some cases, merely attempted to come up with) something shitty to say about them, then added a colorful send-off to each player.

This is the playoffs, not tiddly-winks. You're supposed to hate your opponent. I'm the propane truck.

Let's get going on this, shall we?

Forwards

Dustin Brown: Pointy elbows make for great weapons, don't they, Captain Dickbag? Fuck you, Brown.
Jeff Carter: Talented player, but seems like a total jerk. He royally fucked Columbus after he whined to get out of town. Sadly, it worked out for him. Fuck you, Carter.
Kyle Clifford: His best skill? Just as it was last year . . . getting one-punch KO'd by Ryan Reaves. Yep. Fuck you, Clifford.
Colin Fraser: He's a former Blackhawk. You folks probably know where I stand on this issue by now. Fuck you, Fraser.
Dwight King: Remember DJ King? This is his brother, and he stole all his talent. Also, maybe avoid boarding our franchise defenseman and getting away with it, will you please? Dick. Fuck you, King.
Anze Kopitar: Don't stare at his NHL.com profile picture. He may break your soul. Yeah, he may have a Cup ring but . . . I've been told he's kinda ugly, and no matter how many Cup rings a dude has, it's hard to fix ugly. Fuck you, Kopitar.
Trevor Lewis: Kind of a nondescript player, but became a great playoff performer and was noted for it last year. And we get to play him again. Yep, that's about all I can come up with this year for him . . . Fuck you, Lewis.
Jordan Nolan: Yes, he's the son of former NHL player and coach Ted Nolan, and while he may have more talent than his old man, he also has some of his temper, as we found out a bit last year. Fuck you, Nolan.
Dustin Penner: Last year, it was "Pancake Jokes". This year? He just sucked, after cashing in on a monster postseason. Which means . . . he'll probably show up big again. Fuck you, Penner.
Mike Richards: Sure, he has all sorts of LEADERSHIP, as Poor College Student and I will yell about. But he's also playing for the other team. Also . . . "Dry Island" something something something. Fuck you, Richards.
Brad Richardson: Every team needs a Dan Hinote type of player. This is that player. But he's not Dan Hinote, so . . . Fuck you, Richardson.
Nick Shore: I don't really know a damn thing about this guy. He's not even listed on the Kings' NHL.com roster as having a sweater number. There is no reprieve on this list, though. Fuck you, Shore.
Jarret Stoll: For whatever reason, though he plays a grinder/faceoff/do-anything type of game, even Kings fans seem to not like this guy. Maybe he's a dick or something. I dunno. Fuck you, Stoll.
Tyler Toffoli: The whole "People Named Tyler Are Awesome" thing goes out the window in the playoffs, as the Blues don't have anyone named Tyler anywhere but down on the farm. Fuck you, Toffoli.
Justin Williams: He's got a bit of talent, but his main talent is skating fast. How'd that work out for my boy Jamal Mayers? Fuck you, Williams.

Defensemen

Drew Doughty: He's still trying to figure out how to hit that Bridgestone puck hard enough. Fuck you, Doughty.
Keaton Ellerby: They got rid of Kevin Westgarth and ended up bringing this guy in because he can play defense. He still doesn't play much and may not play in this series, but . . . fuck you, Ellerby.
Matt Greene: I'm supposed to like this guy, because my girlfriend is a huge North Dakota fan and Greene's a former Fighting Sioux. But at times I look at him on the ice and think, "Hey, he looks like kind of a douche". Oh well. Fuck you, Greene.
Alec Martinez: He's young. He's a defenseman. He's not as good as Pietrangelo or Shattenkirk. Yet he has a Cup ring. Yeah. Fuck you, Martinez.
Jake Muzzin: He wears number six, which if he played baseball in this town, he'd have to be shot on sight or something. Fuck you, Muzzin.
Robyn Regehr: I really don't hate this guy too much. He seems like a solid locker room guy and he's been on a Cup Finals run before. And he's the only native of Brazil to ever play in the NHL. But hey, this is an angry list . . . Fuck you, Regehr.
Rob Scuderi: Cashed in on a great Cup run in '09 with the Pittsburgh Penguins by . . . getting overpaid to do less in LA, then doing it again. Lucky son of a bitch. Fuck you, Scuderi.
Slava Voynov: Ken Hitchcock probably hates this guy because he's young and he's Russian. Or something. Fuck you, Voynov.

Goaltenders

Jonathan Bernier: Unless he gets hit in the face with a puck while sitting on the bench with a baseball cap on (and I honestly hope that doesn't happen, because really, that would suck), you won't see a damn bit of this guy. Fuck you, Bernier.
Jonathan Quick: I don't care if he's won a Cup since then . . . I still go back to THIS fail-job from 2011. Maybe Petro can do that again . . . . Fuck you, Quick.

DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION ENTRY

Los Angeles Sports Media: Seriously, I didn't forget about these incidents. As a former radio employee, I see shit like this and it makes me CRINGE. You're working in the second-biggest media market in the United fucking States, and you're paid to know your own fucking town's sports teams if you're in the sports department of the . . . yes, SECOND-BIGGEST MEDIA MARKET IN THE UNITED FUCKING STATES. Double-check your work, and clean up your fucking act. You all should've been fired for being so fucking stupid . . . the anchors themselves, the producers, the directors, the editors and anyone else involved in letting these mistakes (and several others) slip through the cracks. It's a fucking joke. Fuck you, Los Angeles Sports Media. You're paid too well to be that fucking stupid. Seriously. Get your shit together.

Be sure to distribute this accordingly with other fellow Blues fans that otherwise would not see this. Go hard, or go home.

I said this last year, and I'll say it again because generally speaking, this is the whole truth . . . .

I generally have no problem with Kings fans. Want to know why? Because they generally have no problem with me. But this is playoff hockey and verily, this is business. I want to win this bitch.

Fuck Los Angeles.

Let's Go Blues.

The Donut Corner - Giving Up Is For Losers

Donut King — Wed, 02 May 2012 11:12:50 -0000

The Donut Corner - Giving Up Is For Losers

I don't normally share my BlueNote Zone work over here for reasons I probably don't need to explain, but aside from the extreme lacking of the words "fuck" and "shit", I figured this week's piece would be perfectly appropriate for your perusal as well, not to mention a possible rallying point for all Blues fans who decide to stick with this team, like I am willing and more than able to.

Losers quit. Quitters lose. I'm neither a quitter nor a loser, and if you are either one of these two regarding this Blues team, may you kindly get the fuck out of my team's fan base . . . now.

Why not the St. Louis Blues.

Hate Fuel – A Guide To Jeering The Los Angeles Kings

Donut King — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 21:15:10 -0000

It was so fun, we had to do it a second time. Now that we know who the St. Louis Blues will be facing in the Western Conference Semifinals - namely, the Los Angeles Kings - here's a guide explaining why we should hate all of their players, aside from the fact that they're standing in between the Blues and the Western Conference Finals.

Besides one team being a 2-seed and the other being an 8-seed, these two franchises aren't all that different, as they both have been around for the same amount of time and neither team has hoisted Lord Stanley's famous silver chalice. And over the years, there have been some interesting series between the Blues and Kings, both in the regular season and postseason (though the Blues swept the Kings in the postseason . . . twice).

But I don't care. Here's a guide to hating the players on this team, as we'll have to do for the next four to seven games (probably closer to seven), in the same mold as was done for the Sharks in the Western Conference Quarterfinals:

Forwards

Dustin Brown: Sure, he's their Captain, and sure, I've been told he'd be a great teammate and he destroys Sedins and all that. But if you look at some video clips, you're surely to find a few where he's prominently diving. I hate diving. Fuck you, Brown.
Jeff Carter: He's a good hockey player but he kinda looks like a douchebag. He also spent most of this season in the Central Division, albeit for the floundering Columbus Blue Jackets. Fuck you, Carter.
Kyle Clifford: His best skill? Getting one-punch KO'd by Ryan Reaves. Hahahaaaaaaa . . . . Fuck you, Clifford.
Colin Fraser: He's a former Blackhawk. You folks know where I stand on this issue. Fuck you, Fraser.
Simon Gagne: If you see Gagne in this series, you may want to check for drugs in your beverage. He's been out for a while and is on IR, not expected to come back any time soon. But what do I care? He's listed on the roster. Fuck you, Gagne.
Dwight King: Remember DJ King? This is his brother, and he stole all his talent. Fuck you, King.
Anze Kopitar: Don't stare at his NHL.com profile picture. He may break your soul. Yeah, I've been told he's kinda ugly. Fuck you, Kopitar.
Trevor Lewis: His turnover in the neutral zone caused the goal that ended their series with the Canucks. In other words, he's the primary reason THESE guys are here and not someone else. Fuck you, Lewis.
Andrei Loktionov: This youngster is a face-off specialist right now, and not much more. Wasted Russian talent, ladies and gents! Well, kinda. I mean, he's 21. But anyway . . . . Fuck you, Loktionov.
Jordan Nolan: Yes, he's the son of former NHL player and coach Ted Nolan, and while he may have more talent than his old man, he also has some of his temper. Fuck you, Nolan.
Scott Parse: You're probably not going to see this guy either because he's on IR too. Not that I care, as this list is not discriminatory. Fuck you, Parse.
Dustin Penner: If I have to say anything more than "Pancake Jokes", then why the fuck are you even here? Fuck you, Penner.
Mike Richards: Sure, he has all sorts of LEADERSHIP, as Poor College Student and I will yell about. But he's also playing for the other team, so . . . . Fuck you, Richards.
Brad Richardson: He had his appendix taken out not too long ago. I hope he enjoyed the ice cream they gave him afterward. Fuck you, Richardson.
Jarret Stoll: For the type of player Stoll is supposed to be, he kinda sucks at his role. Well, apart from the whole face-off winning thing, and scoring series-clinching goals. Fuck you, Stoll.
Kevin Westgarth: If the Blues see Westgarth in this series, the Kings are in deep, DEEP shit. He's a brawler, nothing more. Fuck you, Westgarth.
Justin Williams: He's got a bit of talent, but his main talent is skating fast. How'd that work out for my boy Jamal Mayers? Fuck you, Williams.

Defensemen

Drew Doughty: He held out at the beginning of the season, then signed some ridiculous contract that he's almost guaranteed never to outperform. Fuck you, Doughty.
Davis Drewiske: Just a wholly confusing name. Fuck you, Drewiske.
Matt Greene: I'm supposed to like this guy, because my girlfriend is a huge North Dakota fan and Greene's a former Fighting Sioux. But at times I look at him on the ice and think, "Hey, he looks like kind of a douche". Oh well. Fuck you, Greene.
Alec Martinez: I don't know enough about this guy, really. By the time this series ends, that'll change, but for the time being . . . . Fuck you, Martinez.
Willie Mitchell: Do yourself a favor and look at his NHL.com profile picture. He looks like he's holding in a massive shit. Are you doing ads for Pepto Bismol, Willie? Fuck you, Mitchell.
Rob Scuderi: Cashed in on a great Cup run in '09 with the Pittsburgh Penguins by . . . getting overpaid to do less in LA. Fuck you, Scuderi.
Slava Voynov: Another guy I'm not overly familiar with, other than to say he's from Russia and Ken Hitchcock probably hates him, if you listen to Nikita Filatov. Fuck you, Voynov.

Goaltenders

Jonathan Bernier: If you see this guy in the playoffs, that means the starter has died. Otherwise, Bernier will be in full pads, wearing a baseball cap and opening the bench door. He may even get a chance to mock Pierre McGuire. Fuck you, Bernier.
Jonathan Quick: Sure, he's been a beast these playoffs thus far and he won three of four meetings with the Blues THIS season, but the Blues have had his number in recent times. I mean, what the fuck was THIS, sir? Fuck you, Quick.

As with last round, be sure to distribute this accordingly with other fellow Blues fans that otherwise would not see this. Go hard, or go home.

I generally have no problem with Kings fans. Want to know why? Because they generally have no problem with me. But as was noted last round ahead of the series with the Sharks, this is playoff hockey. Verily, this is business. I want to win this bitch.

Fuck Los Angeles.

Top 11 Reasons You Hate St. Louis Game Time

Donut King — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:46:19 -0000

This was published last week, but due to yours truly being a complete moron, it was left off the front page. Whoops. Herp, meet Derp.

And now, your re-posting.

You may find the internet deliciousness after the jump.

11) We're a drinking outfit with a publishing/blogging problem, and you don't like drinking, publishing or blogging because your name is Rick Reilly or some dumb shit like that.

10) We swear a lot. Well no shit, you dumb asshole. Who did you think we Goddamn were, fuckstick?! PREACHERS?!

9) You can't understand why Brad Lee writes for us, given that he hates the Blues so fucking much.

8) You root for the Blackhawks, Red Wings, Predators, Blue Jackets, Canucks, Sharks, Stars, Avalanche(s), Wild(s),Flames, Oilers, Coyotes, Kings, Ducks, Jets, Capitals, Lightning(s), Panthers, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs, Bruins,Canadiens, Senators, Sabres, Rangers, Islanders, Devils, Flyers or Penguins. In which case, you're all assholes.

7) Sean Gallagher out-drank you one night, and you're still pissed about it.

6) You can't stand that pasty white bastard that writes the fight reports in the print edition, because he's kind of a punk and always wears his hat backward like a fucking douchebag.

5) You're outraged that the staff didn't show so much outrage at the lack of movement by the Blues' front office at the trade deadline, then didn't show much panic at the team's finish.

4) You don't find the whole "Fuck Detroit" thing to be funny.

3) You know nothing of our "Jaro Water", our "Jerry Water" or our "Moose Juice".

2) You think the Blues are boring and the fans who enjoy their winning ways must be the same. "Only total cockhammers enjoy a good forecheck", you say.

1) You didn't think that caution at the bottom of page 1 of each print issue was a real warning, or worse, you didn't "just fucking get over it".

Game 4 Blues Watch Party at Friendly's in South City

Donut King — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:12:16 -0000

Game 4 Blues Watch Party at Friendly's in South City

The link above goes to the bar's website, which includes a menu, drink specials and everything like that.

Friendly's Sports Bar & Grill is located at the corner of Roger Place and Potomac Street, ten blocks south of Arsenal Street (or, if you prefer, Tower Grove Park) in south St. Louis.

Some folks will show up early for the early games. But we all know what the main event is, so plan on being there by 8:30 to give yourself an hour's worth of Blues-Sharks pre-game and Detroit-Fucking and whatever.

If you can make it, come on down and join us.

Hate Fuel – A Guide To Jeering The San Jose Sharks

Donut King — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 02:50:42 -0000

We at St. Louis Game Time are very quick on the trigger against teams that oppose our Local Six. So now that we know the St. Louis Blues will be facing the San Jose Sharks in the first round, why not create a guide explaining why we should hate every damn one of these players? Yeah, let's do that.

Remember 2000? Remember 2004? I remember both. It is SO on like Donkey Kong.

Here's a hate guide that includes every man currently on the Sharks roster, why we should hate him, and a salutation . . . embrace the hatred, let it fuel you and be your guiding spirit:

Forwards

Ryane Clowe: Sure, he's a native of Newfoundland and a wide-body that isn't afraid of getting his nose dirty . . . but there's this thing he did with his stick to a puck while he was sitting on the bench. Derp Newf. Fuck you, Clowe.
Logan Couture: He looks like he could be the mascot of my beloved Denver Broncos. There's a reason the Fear The Fin cats call him "Teeth". That's because his face is comprised of nothing BUT teeth. Fuck you, Couture.
Andrew Desjardins: He plays hockey and wears number 69. He is not playing left tackle for a National Football League team. Fuck you, Desjardins.
Benn Ferriero: There's only one ‘N' in "Ben", Benn. Just go by "Benjamin" next time, or Benny or some shit. Fuck you, Ferriero.
TJ Galiardi: The trade that brought him to San Jose pretty much helped the Sharks tank to the point where they are playing the Blues in the first round. Fuck you, Galiardi.
Michal Handzus: Former Blues player never won a Cup with the Blues. Also, I thought he retired, like, five years ago. And as I would point out to Hartigan, he's older than me. Fuck you, Handzus.
Martin Havlat: Former Blackhawk. The bastard ~~even WON A CUP with those fuckers up north~~ well, he played for them. That's all. Fuck you, Havlat.
Patrick Marleau: Boring as shit, but despite this was somehow was the Captain of this team for a while. Thought of as soft come playoff time. Fuck you, Marleau.
Torrey Mitchell: Take a look at his NHL bio sometime. He kinda looks like a rat with that face of his. Fuck you, Mitchell.
Dominic Moore: He's been pretty much a hired gun for two straight playoff teams, last year with Tampa and now with San Jose. Other than that, I can't really say anything bad about him, but whatever. Fuck you, Moore.
Joe Pavelski: He's their best player, in my mind. But there's only room on the ice for one Captain America, and that's David Backes. So yeah. Fuck you, Pavelski.
James Sheppard: I barely know who this dude is. Fuck you, Sheppard.
Joe Thornton: A jumbo piece of shit for that hit on David Perron last year. Also, he only recently figured out how to play well in the playoffs. Also won an Olympic gold medal for Team Canada over the US in 2010. Fuck you, Thornton.
Brad Winchester: Only figured out how to use his size once Scott Mellanby showed him how to do it. Used to get his ass kicked regularly in fights where the opponent was smaller than him. Middle name is "Fucking". Fuck you, Winchester.
Tommy Wingels: A native of Evanston, Illinois. For those of you uninformed, that is . . . 1) a suburb of Chicago, and 2) the home of Northwestern University, who I'm obligated to despise as an Illinois fan. Fuck you, Wingels.
Daniel Winnik: Charlie Sheen jokes are so last year. Duh. Fuck you, Winnik.

Defensemen

Dan Boyle: He was also a member of the Team Canada team that won the 2010 Olympic gold. That's really all I can say bad about him. Fuck you, Boyle.
Justin Braun: His name resembles that of Ryan Braun too much for me to believe he doesn't also wear Ed Hardy t-shirts and look like a douchebag. Fuck you, Braun.
Brent Burns: He used to be a real asshole when he played for the Minnesota Wild. I don't know what happened to him since, but I don't like it. Fuck you, Burns.
Jason Demers: There was so much talk when he was called up about how to pronounce his name. A name like Demers shouldn't be that Goddamn difficult to pronounce. Fuck you, Demers.
Douglas Murray: His father is Canadian but apparently was not good enough for the NHL, so he high-tailed it to Sweden and became a legend. So Murray is technically Swedish, even though he's Canadian. That's too Goddamn confusing. Fuck you, Murray.
Jim Vandermeer: He used to get his ass kicked by Cam Janssen on a regular basis. I mean, that's fucking hilarious, isn't it? Fuck you, Vandermeer.
Marc-Edouard Vlasic: Nicknamed "Pickle" because of that last name of his, I really can't point out anything awful about him. But I like pickles. Fuck you, Vlasic.
Colin White: Probably won't play in this series because, well, he's kinda sucked ass this year. Fuck you, White.

Goaltenders

Thomas Greiss: He's German. They call him the "Meth Squirrel" over at Fear The Fin because he's squirrelly and he looks like he's on meth. If he's playing in this series, the Sharks are in deep, DEEP shit. Fuck you, Greiss.
Antti Niemi: ~~Like Havlat~~, Niemi won a Cup with the Blackhawks. That's all I really need. Fuck you, Niemi.

Be sure to distribute this accordingly with other fellow Blues fans that otherwise would not see this. Everyone needs to learn to hate opponents come playoff time, and being that our boys have been out of the playoffs for many of recent years, it seems many of our brethren have forgotten over the years what that truly means. Let's do this shit right.

I enjoy the company of our friends at Fear The Fin, but that will have to take a back seat for the next four to seven games. Sorry, gang. This is business.

Fuck San Jose.

Could The NHL Ever Ban Fighting? It Is Doubtful At Best.

Donut King — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:27:27 -0000

I am a bit of a hockey fight aficionado, which you might have known about already. These days, being as such comes with ridicule and praise - praise from those who remember the old days where tough guys were always present and were there to stand up for their teammates . . . but ridicule from those who believe fighting is the ruination of modern hockey. I appreciate the former while tolerating the latter whilst trying to strike them down.

So one day, when I posted (on Facebook or BookFace or whatever the hell they call it these days) the fight report that I do for every game on another St. Louis Blues blog I write for, the first comment came from a long-time friend of mine, whom I used to play pickup roller hockey with back in the Old Town (because the nearest ice facility is about 30 miles away and anyway, we all sucked at hockey, so who cares? And I still live here, so how would it be the "Old Town" anyway? Again, who cares?), and he said the following (with italic emphasis added by yours truly):

"What will Tyler Atwood do when the NHL bans fighting?"

Well, that set me out for a bit. "WHEN the NHL bans fighting"? Sure, the NHL COULD ban fighting, but I had to think to myself about how could they make that work. After doing that for a few minutes, my response to this comment went into a long-winded missive about cheap-shot artists (you know who they are), how they would proliferate (big time), WHY they would proliferate (not having to stand up for their douche-bagged on-ice actions) and how to keep this from being a problem (a strong head of player safety taking complete control of irresponsible cheap shots, which I thought Brendan Shanahan WOULD be, but sadly has turned out not to be thus far as evidenced by the near Colin Campbell-esque level of inconsistency that was always present previously), all assuming we would live in this bizarre part of the time continuum that would somehow NOT allow for fighting to be legal in the National Hockey League. What a damn scary thought THAT is, right?

After all that, I said that I could probably write a whole blog post on the issue. That was about three months ago. Yes, I am a slacker. Thank you for pointing that out. NOW JUMP, TOWEL BOY!

Look, I am fine with the fact that the "punch-only" hockey skaters (i.e. our old pals, DJ King and Cam Janssen) are going the way of the dodo in the NHL in favor of players that bring tangible skill WITH fighting ability (i.e. BJ Crombeen and, to some extent, Ryan Reaves). I am perfectly cool with that, as are a solid amount of other hockey fans. And I am aware that the number of fighting majors issued in the National Hockey League has decreased in recent years, which hopefully is a function of those nasty fouls to the head, from behind and into the boards being called more often and with stronger, swifter punishment (albeit, as mentioned earlier, with inconsistency of said punishment). But to ban fighting altogether, I feel, would bring about consequences that I am unsure the NHL could really afford to realize.

I do have more than selfish reasons why fighting could never feasibly be removed from the league. It seems Greg Wyshynski, editor at Puck Daddy, seems to at least sympathize with that side of the argument. Click on this link, and you will find these two money sentences that form the third paragraph of that article from Wysh:

"Calls to end fighting are more political and image-driven than relevant to the current debate; yes, we're all concerned about (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) and how fighters' brains are affected by a career of punches taken, but fighting isn't the reason why Sidney Crosby, Jeff Skinner, Simon Gagne, Shea Weber and the majority of their peers are currently concussed. Adding fighting to the current player safety debate is like when a senator attaches an amendment on defense spending to a payroll tax bill."

Greg nailed it. Banning fighting in the NHL is an issue that is ancillary to the actual problem at hand.

As for fighters that can also score a few goals, Harrison Mooney also wrote an excellent piece that was posted at Puck Daddy over the weekend, which included the following:

Last year's Boston Bruins were the quintessential example of what can happen if the players providing your toughness are versatile. It wasn't just that Boston had guys that could drop the gloves -- it's that those guys were still plenty effective when they held onto their equipment.

The Bruins had two players finish in double digits in fighting majors in 2010-11 -- Shawn Thornton and Gregory Campbell -- and both those players finished in double digits in goals as well. Thornton had 10 goals and 14 majors; Campbell had 13 and 11.

Let me put into perspective how impressive this is: there were only seven players in the entire NHL that reached 10 goals and 10 majors in 2010-11, and Boston had two of them.

The point here is that every team needs a tough guy or two to handle the dirty team business and protect their players, and those players must be able to handle regular shifts if you expect your team to be a Cup contender. I am perfectly cool with that, which is why I am taking a liking to players such as Crombeen and Reaves - while they are not goal-scorers, they ARE role-players when they are not punching people, and that is vital in the modern NHL.

Continuing . . . .

Arguably, banning fighting in the NHL could make the problem of blindside hits, cheap blows to the head and other horrible infractions to become worse. Before we rope this piece back to the heart of the issue, let me throw some examples at you that come from outside the realm of hockey, pointing out how violent aspects of certain situations bring out the passion of said activities.

I am not an auto racing fan by any means, but my understanding is that the big thrills of the "sport" (I know some of you like racing, and that is fine and dandy, but . . . I drive a car to work amongst traffic and THAT is not a sport) are not the cars whizzing by at amazingly fast speeds, but the fact that - at any moment - the cars could collide into each other and cause a huge wreck. I can understand that. You might see the point I am getting after here.

Another one . . . Do you know anyone who does NOT slow down and look when the cherries and blueberries of an emergency vehicle are flashing on the side of the road? I doubt you do, and I would be willing to bet it has a deeper meaning than respect for the emergency personnel working the scene. I mean, you just want to know if it is simply a car being pulled over by a state officer (so you can point and laugh at the fucker getting ticketed, perhaps), or if there are cars strewn about the side of the road. Deep down, most people want to see a wreck and just MAYBE hope everyone is okay. It's a human flaw that the majority of folks get sucked into, myself included. The same goes for train wrecks, so long as no one dies.

According to Deion Sanders of the NFL Network, this 54-yard touchdown run by Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back LeGarrette Blount against the Green Bay Packers was the best single play in the National Football League in the 2011 National Football League season. Blount did not get into the end zone by dancing and tiptoeing his way there . . . no, he delivered contact to about six or seven guys, running over a few of them with his own shoulder in the process. If you do not find this exciting, then either you are not a football fan (which, around here, is likely, and that is okay, I hold no judgment) or you are just plain weird. And if you are a football fan that does not like this play, I am miffed at how you are also a fan of hockey, arguably another collision sport . . . unless you are, of course, a Packers fan. Then, I guess, I could understand. But hey, your team still won that game, so what the fuck, eh?

You may be still be wondering if there is a point to all this incoherent nonsense. There is, and I will get there eventually.

Sure, people DO attend hockey games to see goals being scored by their favorite team AND to see their favorite team win. Apart from the competitive aspect of the game, what draws the largest crowd reactions? Well, there are two things - one being loud, crashing body checks that knock an opponent to the ice; the other being a fight, be it preordained by the contestants or at the end of a post-whistle skirmish. Hockey seems to be one of the few sports where it is perfectly okay for fans to enjoy a fight during the action, and in some cases, this may be the only time when you hear cheers for the home team's fighter (Barret Jackman seems to come to mind, though I will never understand why Blues fans hate Jackman as much as they seem to).

When do we boo an opponent? Generally, if it is NOT when he is scoring a goal against our favorite squad, it IS when said opponent hits a member of your favorite team in an unceremonious manner. I realize Matt Cooke has seemed to clean up his act this season, but what if he - without the need to fight anyone and answer for his actions - just started boarding and face-elbowing (if that is even a term) everything in sight? Would that not piss you off royally? Would this anger you further if you knew the only thing you could do to get back at him is do something that is banned from the game altogether? I would like to hope so, and this is a major issue you would run into if fighting is banned by the National Hockey League. And that would be, in a word, complete bullshit.

The only thing that would prevent this from becoming an issue IF there were a ban on fighting is a strict ban on illegal hits, including hits from behind and hits to the head. When I say "strict ban", I mean "ban all of these illegal hits, whether they injure another player or not, and suspend those who take such action for double-digit numbers of games in EVERY instance without calling judgment or intent into question". This is the ONLY way a ban on fighting would work. Yes, you would have to suspend anyone who fights for the same amount of time, but I will take that trade-off if a clear, succinct ban on illegal hits is enacted and strictly enforced. AND THAT IS THE ONLY WAY THIS COULD HAPPEN. And since it will never happen this way, I might be wasting your time.

Because, really, what confidence do we have that such a ban is ever going to be strictly enforced? We have no proof that it will, unfortunately. We thought with the appearance of Brendan Shanahan and his well-produced videos explaining his decisions, with swift action taken in the preseason and early on in the season, that there would be some semblance of consistency. Unfortunately, that has not happened, and this is why the above scenario seems a far distance away.

Since we cannot have it both ways, there is pretty much no way you could justify a ban on fighting if you do not first handle the issue of morons like Todd Bertuzzi breaking necks for "retribution" on what was a clean hit for all intents and purposes (Bertuzzi should be playing in the British Columbia Penal League for that, for fuck's sake) or Trevor Gillies basically trying to end some dude's career with a horribly-placed, completely unnecessary "love-tap" to the cranium, or the aforementioned situation (which now seems to be dated, thankfully) of Matt Cooke boarding and face-elbowing everything in sight. Those issues are still largely unsolved, and I really do not see a time when they WOULD be solved completely.

I would not EVER encourage the National Hockey League to ban fighting. If they ever were to do it, the only thing I would be able to look forward to is a league that would become relatively unwatchable, where skilled players would be looking over their shoulder, knowing their next breakaway could bring a stick blade to their head. How could anyone enjoy that? It would effectively kill the league we all once knew, and the hooligans would run wild once again. And if it comes to this, I WILL be that dickhead in the corner screaming "SEE? I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" . . . of course, assuming this is how it would go down.

But that is not going to happen if the NHL has any grasp of the situation. So what am I worrying about?

Oh yeah, Gary Bettman is still the commissioner. Goddamn it all.

Former Blues GM Ron Caron Passes Away At Age 82

Donut King — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:12:39 -0000

Former Blues GM Ron Caron Passes Away At Age 82

Ron Caron was the man who brought Brett Hull to town and sent Cliff Ronning packing. He was the architect of the pre-Keenan Blues that never missed the playoffs and always seemed entertaining to watch.

Clever, engaging, flamboyant, bombastic . . . he made growing up a Blues fan a pure joy.

Funny that the Blues are playing the Habs tonight, as before he became GM of the Blues, he was an Assistant GM in Montreal.

And he always had "meat on zee burner".

RIP, Ron. I'm sure more will be up on this later.

Top 11 Eklund Rumors

Donut King — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:51:14 -0000

(Jump added for pure effect only.)

11)

10)

Blues @ "A Natural State Or Uncultivated Or Uninhabited Region" - Your GDT

Donut King — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:25:11 -0000

And THAT is why you should not have a team nickname that does not end in an S, Minnesota.

No one reads these things, right? Well, HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.

Plus, unlike Brad Lee, I don't hate the Cardinals. See, now I'm acting like a politician, and that's not cool.

Apparently Jaroslav Halak is in goal tonight, but I heard that report was from Andy Strickland, so you can take that how you'd like.

The Wild(s) made a big trade in the offseason in which they got rid of arguably their best defenseman (Brent Burns) and their top playmaker (Martin Havlat) for Dany "Fuckin'" Heatley and Devin "So Taguchi" Setoguchi. Nicklas Backstrom still plays goal for these guys, so they have THAT going for them. Anyway, this team is still probably boring.

If you're not here for this Game Day Thread, some of us will be at Cousin Hugo's for another GTGT that involves food, beer, hockey and people. Otherwise . . . comment on this thread like there's no game tomorrow. Because there is no Blues game tomorrow, because that would be three games in three days. Funny how that works.

Do. This. Shit.

And THAT is why you should not have a team nickname that does not end in an S, Minnesota.

No one reads these things, right? Well, HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.

Plus, unlike Brad Lee, I don't hate the Cardinals. See, now I'm acting like a politician, and that's not cool.

Apparently Jaroslav Halak is in goal tonight, but I heard that report was from Andy Strickland, so you can take that how you'd like.

Do. This. Shit.

Epic Dec - Blues Fan Trip To Nashville in December in Planning Stages

Donut King — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 04:13:28 -0000

Here at St. Louis Game Time, we have several members who are not averse to traveling to road contests to see our team. Well, if you're looking for a great adventure, one is in the works. But we just need to get the planning right first. And for once, it doesn't involve celebrating the improbable World Series title just earned by my beloved St. Louis Cardinals.

On Saturday, December 17^th, the Blues will square off with the Nashville Predators in the Music City. It promises to be a gritty, gutty Central Division contest involving two teams who came into the season with high hopes. And a group of Blues fans plan to embark on a voyage to Nashville for the game, including yours truly.

Herein lies the problem: I'm the head of the group (appointed as such by Weekend Links Rat, Hartigan, who apparently thinks I am capable of this . . . YOU'RE WRONG!), I've been extremely busy since the season schedule was released, I don't have tickets purchased yet, I don't have hotel accommodations arranged AND we are still open to more people being on board for the trip, if they so choose.

Basically, the only thing we've really accomplished out of this trip is a name for it, as you see above . . . "Epic Dec" (or, for you Twitter wonks . . . #EpicDec). No, we are not making t-shirts or hats for this.

Find out more by jumping, and maybe Towel Boy will jump as well.

Before tickets are purchased, we will need a good idea of how many people can FULL-ON COMMIT to going on this trip. As of right now, based on Twitter responses and the like, the head count is somewhere between 10 and 15 people thus far. But we (Read: I) need some assistance as to how to go about all this. How many tickets will we need? What hotels are good in the Nashville area, particularly close to The Gaylord (I refuse to call it Bridgestone)? Restaurants? Sights (other than the Grand Ole Opry)? And most importantly . . . WHO IS GOING?!

So here's how I'll lay it on you . . . I want to hear from you if you have one of two things to offer: 1) A full commitment to go on this trip with us, or 2) Some advice as to how to plan this thing. You can do so by sending an e-mail to me - gtdonutking AT gmail DOT com (or, you can just click that little "e-mail" icon by that thing where it says "Donut King" on the bottom of the St. Louis Game Time home page).

Tentatively, my personal plan is to attend the Thursday, December 15^th home game, then drive down from St. Louis to Nashville on Friday, December 16^th in a car pool that already has myself and two other people committed for the ride, stay in Nashville Friday and Saturday and drive home Sunday. However, if you want to go on this trip, you do not have to stay with all of us both days . . . if you want to come down Saturday, which several people are planning on doing, that's quite alright. Just be sure to be there Saturday night for the game and, possibly, for a bit of sight-seeing in and around Nashville on Saturday afternoon.

So yes, I'm looking for a solid head count AND some planning advice, because I have no Goddamn clue what I'm doing here, but I CAN record a head count. So I have that going for me. Which is nice.

So what do you say, Game Time? Are you ready for "Epic Dec"? Can you join us on an adventure that will possibly define your fandom for one hockey season? Can you help the helpless plan a trip to Nashville? It's all on your call.

LET'S GO BLUES!

Blues Viewing Party at Cousin Hugo's in Maplewood This Saturday

Donut King — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 21:06:04 -0000

I heard a hockey season started recently. Can anyone confirm this for me? Yes? No? Whatever. We all know . . . it has arrived. BOO-YAH, HOMEY!

The St. Louis Blues have taken their first road trip of the season, swinging out west for a couple tilts with California clubs. Saturday, The Note stops in the Bay Area to square off with the San Jose Sharks at HP Pavilion. The game will start at about 9pm, and with that in mind, a gathering has been put together for some of us idiots to get together, drink, eat, swear and generally be jackasses around each other while watching the game on the tube. JUMP, TOWEL BOY!

We've had gatherings before at Cousin Hugo's Bar & Grill on Laclede Station Road in Maplewood for hockey games, but never have we had one there for a Blues game . . . at least, not to my knowledge. This Saturday night, that changes.

The plan is to get to the place somewhere around 8pm. The game starts at 9pm. If you want to take a look at what Cousin Hugo's has to offer before heading there, including a menu and beverage selection, visit their website here. I've been there twice, and let me tell you . . . the beer is cold, the food is good and the atmosphere is very conducive to a crowd like ours. St. Louis Game Time's own CrossCheckRaise frequents Cousin Hugo's for lunch, and he has not steered many of us wrong before.

So come, join us, have a few brews, have a late dinner, watch the Blues hopefully shred the Sharks, and bring all seven words George Carlin told us about. Oh, and this isn't like Game Time, but . . . go ahead and tell others about it, if you wish. But don't bring any Red Wings fans if you don't have to, because Fuck Detroit.

LET'S GO BLUES!

Donut King's 2011-2012 Blues Preview - It Cannot Hit The Fan Again

Donut King — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 19:24:38 -0000

The first preseason game is tonight, and it feels so grand, doesn't it? In baseball, they talk about hope springing eternal every Spring Training for every team, as they all wipe the slate clean in preparation for a new season. The same thing happens prior to every season for hockey teams, even though such hope does not spring until the fall . . . if that makes any sense.

And as such, hope springs eternal inside many ardent St. Louis Blues fans this time of year, and seriously, as Blues fans we've needed our reasons to get our hopes up pretty much every season since the lockout (our boys haven't won a playoff game since George W. Bush's FIRST TERM as POTUS . . . that, my friends, is a fucking LONG time ago). And this year, it seems the Blues are headed toward a promising campaign.

In general, I am an optimist. I may sound the opposite at times, but I truly do look for the best result possible and hope that it happens every time. But I've been optimistic leading up to the last two Blues campaigns and, well, where did THAT get us?

So while in all reality I AM hopeful for what this Blues team can deliver this season, I decided to go a different route with this piece . . . what if, indeed, the shit hits the fan and everything went wrong again? JUMP, TOWEL BOY! JUMP!

We already know David Perron is expected to miss the start of the season with severe Post Concussion Syndrome symptoms (not to be confused with severe Poor College Student symptoms). To alleviate his absence, the team signed veterans Jason Arnott and Jamie Langenbrunner, which is nice, but . . . what if Arnie and Langs ARE really past their prime? What if Langs ends up being a grumpy jackass veteran, like those in New Jersey say he was before he was traded to Dallas last season?

Rightfully taking his place as Captain for this season and for seasons going forward is David Backes. Most of us are aware of Backes and his penchant to start slowly out of the gate (hey, the reign of blood has to last all season, right?). As much as some fans don't think it's possible for the team not to respond to his captaincy, what if they do not because of, say, another slow start, and team play suffers because of it? Will Alex Steen serve some type of leadership role to the team and help the big Minnesotan out, both on and off the ice? What if THAT fails?

One of the best moves made down the stretch last season was the acquisition of Chris "Goddamn" Stewart. He thrived almost instantaneously after pulling on that Blue Note sweater, and carried that hot stretch all the way to the conclusion of the season. Will Chris Stewart continue playing up to his potential? What if he does not? Will his teammates chip in?

Is Andy McDonald finally beyond all of his injury problems over the last couple seasons? When healthy, he is one of the fastest, more skilled players in the National Hockey League, but broken bones and concussions tend to slow a man down, even when he's that damn good, and this may be a concern.

For all intents and purposes, the likes of Matt D'Agostini and Vladimir "SobeSobe" Sobotka had career seasons with the Blues in 2010-11. While they are both still young, we cannot possibly expect one or both of them to exceed those numbers (remember in 2009-10, when we all thought Brad "Fuckin'" Winchester could score double-digit goals EVERY season? Yeah, good times). But can we reasonably expect them to contribute this supplemental scoring as third- and fourth-liners? What if they regress?

TJ Oshie, by all accounts and reasons, had a season below his expectations in 2010-11. It wasn't all of his own doing (Samuel Pahlsson is still a careless prick), but this is the second long-term injury Teej has suffered in three seasons with the Blues. You can hardly blame the club for not wanting to extend his contract past one year. Will he earn his contract and earn a pay raise and a longer term next season? Or will he "regress" once again due to injury, perceived laziness or otherwise?

What about the other forwards? Will Scott Nichol continue to be a wizard in the face-off dot in a new uniform? Will Ryan Reaves become the enforcer we all think he can be, while still being able to contribute while the clock is running? Will Patrik Berglund continue his long arc of improvement since coming aboard from overseas? Will BJ Crombeen still be a grinder and fighter with the ability to score, say, once every ten games or so? Can Chris Porter truly contribute to the cause?

Apart from Kent Huskins (and while we know that "Kent Huskins Cares", he just doesn't excite me, and probably doesn't excite you either) and some AHL veterans, not much was done to bolster the blue line this offseason. Are we quite sure the likes of young Alex Pietrangelo and Kevin Shattenkirk are ready to quarterback the blue line? Can Barret "SIR JAXX" Jackman continue to be a veteran leader on that blue line? Can Carlo Colaiacovo provide solid second-pairing minutes on a nightly basis? Will Nikita Nikitin continue to improve? Ian Cole?

Jaroslav "JARO WATER" Halak had a bit of a rough go of things last season, his first as a full-time starter. We all are hopeful that Jaro has learned something from experience, but what if he falters again? Also, who will be Jaro's backup? Will Brian Elliott fit the bill, or will it be Ben Bishop? Will either of these fine gentlemen be able to hold the team together in times of trouble, when called upon?

What if the injury bug strikes again? Is there enough depth at the AHL level to cover the losses of those fallen? For once, maybe, but what if it's not enough to keep the team afloat? And if AHL players such as Jonathan Cheechoo, TJ Hensick, Evgeny Grachev, Stefan Della Rovere, Kyle Hagel, Danny Syvret and others have to contribute an inordinate amount of ice time, how far will this bring the team toward a season like 2010-2011?

They say "If If's and Buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas", but for a team so wretchedly stepped over as our Blues have been over the years, these questions are not asked without reason. And I ask all these questions, and I never once brought up the ownership situation, which as of now is STILL unsettled. Thankfully for you, this reporter will stick to on-ice matters. (On a side note: HEY, REMEMBER THE AUGUST 22^nd DEADLINE? YEAH, ME NEITHER! OH WAIT . . . seriously, fuck you, Mr. Checketts. *end brief Drew Magary-style rant*)

So we're pretty sure all the pieces are in place for a successful Blues season. But a lot of us were of the same thought to begin the 2010-11 season (believe me, I was), and that was one of the more disappointing seasons I have witnessed as a Blues fan. What if all that shit happens again? And if it does, what happens next?

I fully expect this hockey club to make the playoffs. Most of you fully expect the same. But don't say you weren't prepared if shit hits the fan. You went through this drill last year, so it should not be as if you haven't seen this movie before.

All that being said, this is a playoff-caliber team - even in a loaded Western Conference - and I fully expect our beloved team to get there this year.

LET'S GO BLUES!

Top 11 Things I'm Doing To Pass The Time This Blues Offseason*

Donut King — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 04:03:16 -0000

11) About once a week, I prank-call Dave Checketts and tell him I have a bucket full of million dollar bills at the front gate of the DrinkScotch before giggling and hanging up.

10) I drink . . . heavily. No, more heavily than during hockey games, if you could imagine that possible.

9) I imagine the Cheveldae-Joseph goalie fight had happened yesterday. Goddamnit, that was 18 years ago. WHERE IS MY YOUTH?!

8) I actually do work at work. Yeah, you laugh now . . . .

7) I make up a bunch of stupid lists like this. Yeah. Fucking. Right.

6) I count down the days to October 8^th, when . . . I head to a wedding in Iowa. Haha, fuck you, schedule-makers. Assholes, all of you.

5) I count down the days until David Backes is officially named Captain of the Blues. Because if that doesn't happen, I will probably lead a mob starting at Market Street so as to loot the town Vancouver-style.

4) I FUCKED DETROIT! Haha, just kidding. I don't want any nasty-ass diseases.

3) I repeatedly point out how everything is right and awesome with the world now that the Chicago Blackhawks are no longer the defending Stanley Cup Champions.

2) I constantly wish I were in the shoes of Shahid Khan or Mark Cuban so I could make an immediate "Impulse Buy" in St. Louis involving some hockey franchise that's for sale. After that, I imagine I'm ripping Jim Balsillie's guts out with my bare hands . . . for no reason, really.

1) I watch baseball. No really, that's happening. Is it October yet?

* Most of these items did not happen or have not actually happened.

REMINDER: Game Time Meet and Drink TONIGHT!

Donut King — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:46:31 -0000

REMINDER: Game Time Meet and Drink TONIGHT!

Game starts at 8pm. I'll arrive somewhere between 7 and 7:30. As for everyone else? Come one, come all!

St. Louis Game Time 2011 Meet and Drink Wednesday: East Of The River Edition

Donut King — Fri, 13 May 2011 17:56:41 -0000

I loved this photo so much that I HAD to be sure it was used again.

St. Louis Game Time proudly presents . . . 2011 Game Time Meet and Drink tour stop NUMBER TWO . . . coming Wednesday, May 18th to . . . THE ALTON SPORTS TAP IN BEAUTIFUL (?!) ALTON, ILLINOIS!

Yes, we had such a good time at the first Meet and Drink that we decided to go for another round, both literally and figuratively. You're all invited. We're all invited. And it's sure to be a good time.

If you aren't familiar with where the Alton Sports Tap is, well, here's a Google Map of where it is. Basically, it's right off Homer Adams Parkway, and for you folks from the Missouri side of the river, it's about five minutes from the Clark Bridge.

I'll be honest: I've lived 30 miles away from the Alton Sports Tap pretty much my whole life, and I've never been there, so I don't even know what to expect from the place. But it's a sports bar, so there's that. And it has the seal of approval from our very own Poor College Student, who of all people is from a closer proximity than ANYONE else at St. Louis Game Time. And Tim has never swayed me wrong before.

The game of the night will be Game Two between the San Jose Sharks and the Vancouver Canucks, being played in the jewel of Canada's beautiful southwest coast (yes, I just said that out loud, SHUT UP).

I have a feeling we will do at least one more of these Meet and Drinks, so if you can't make it to this one, you still may be in luck!

So join us, won't you? Food, beer, hockey, people, good times. Looking forward to seeing some of you there!

Why Dave Checketts Can Kiss My Ass

Donut King — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 16:30:21 -0000

It may have been coming for quite a while now, but yesterday's news regarding Dave Checketts' decision to sell his portion of the Blues, the ~~Scottrade~~ ~~DrinkScotch~~ ~~Savvis~~ ~~ScotchTape~~ ~~AppleButter~~ Kiel Center and the Peoria Rivermen still shocked the living hell out of me. It raised mixed emotions, both as a die-hard fan and as somewhat of a business aficionado.

See, most of you don't know this, but I have a BBA (Business Management, '03, McKendree College, thankyouverymuch). While my day job is in radio and deals with mostly the marketing aspect of my studies, I have a bit of experience deciphering business decisions such as this one. And these last ten months have reeked of terrible business practices by Dave Checketts and his ownership group . . . but mostly Checketts.

Oh, and there may have been a spot of Bailey's in my coffee when I wrote the majority of this column this morning. I am COMPLETELY enraged by the whole thing. It's not a common or popular opinion, I know. But when have ANY of you known me to give a shit?

As a fan, I feel deceived. Checketts wanted full control of the team knowing full well that he was not going to be able to keep it. But he told everyone that he was GOING to get a group in place, even though he didn't have the money himself, and he was still going to be the figurehead. And I wanted to believe that, even though I knew full well that it probably wasn't going to happen that way. And then, this happens.

The quote from Checketts that furthest enraged me, though, is as follows:

It's a really good time to be the owner of the St. Louis Blues and I think someone will want to take that role.

Now let's back up for a second, Dave. You want to sell the team, but you want to talk about how good a time it is to be the owner of the team? If it's such a Goddamn good time to own the team, then why aren't you continuing to bust your ass trying to pull things together to make YOURSELF stay as the owner of the fucking team?! Don't give me this bullshit about it being a "really good time" to own the team if you're DITCHING THE MOTHERFUCKING THING! Don't bail if it's that good, Dave. Quit trying to be a salesman.

Yeah, so I snapped.

And I understand Checketts sounds remorseful about the whole thing. But remorse alone just doesn't cut it for me. And, of course, I have a bit of reservation about whether or not Dave's remorse is genuine at this point.

So here we are, five years later, and another failed owner for this franchise goes down. I stand by this team, as you all know. I refuse to side with Checketts, though, as I feel as if he has broken my trust. In business terms, he sold me what I thought was a cherry, and it turned out to be a total lemon. Thanks jerk, did you take the ENGINE out of this fucking thing too?!

That being said, I will not put him on the same level as Dollar Bill Laurie. That takes a special kind of asshole only the likes of Laurie can achieve.

But Checketts is on my shit list right now. This opinion may change after someone with 50 bajillion dollars or whatever comes up and buys the team, puts actual cash flow IN the team and actually spends money on an on-ice product I can be completely proud of. But that time is DEFINITELY not right now.

This Blues franchise, despite never winning anything in the history of ever (or at least as I see it), is a proud franchise with a solid fan base. But we, as fans have had our trust in the management of this team tested way too many times. And now, it happens to me again. And those of you who know me know that I hate having my trust fucked with. Well, it happened again, and I will not just sit here and let it happen without at least screaming about it.

In conclusion, Dave Checketts can go kiss my ass for this loss of trust brought about for this team I love. Have fun with your soccer team, asshole, I'm sure it's so profitable or whatever. Better yet, just bring it to St. Louis so you can bail on another team. Because really, why not fuck with us twice?

Oh, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. I won't miss you.

Bluenote Zone Komen Race for the Cure Team - JOIN IT!

Donut King — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:01:12 -0000

Bluenote Zone Komen Race for the Cure Team - JOIN IT!

I'll be participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis on Saturday, June 11th with the Bluenote Zone race sub-team of the St. Louis Blues race team. All the info you need to join me is on this link. I highly encourage anyone that wishes to participate to join us for this huge event that I've always wanted to participate in but never could fully commit to until this year!

Something about Fantasy Baseball . . .

Donut King — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 18:30:45 -0000

Now, before you make some snide comment about baseball, fantasy sports or Fantasy Baseball (and yes, I will capitalize "Fantasy Baseball" because I can), let's get a few things straight: 1) Go fuck yourself. 2) Die in a fire. 3) This is for fun, not for money or for keeps. And 4) If you have any questions about any of this, please refer back to Points 1 and 2.

With THAT out of the way, I have a special opportunity for some of you who actually don't mind baseball. Y'know, people like me.

Our own Hockey Professor is in his second year of running a Yahoo Fantasy Baseball League that several Game Time (Read: 10 total) folks participated in last season, including myself. The league has quite the unique name . . . "St. Louis Brown Stockings". It's a National League-only league (meaning if you pick up an American League player, you get the shit beaten out of you . . . or you're just not allowed to do it, one or the other). Our draft is currently (and TENTATIVELY) scheduled for Sunday, March 27th at 2:30pm. We can't have it much later than that, because Opening Day is on March 31st. There are other rules and regulations but it's actually a pretty fun, fair league . . . if I don't say so myself.

Here's the problem: Right now, we've only got five teams set up, and we need 10 for a full league and an even number of teams to even DRAFT. This is where YOU may come in.

If you're so inclined and you have a Yahoo account, JOIN US! Here's the info:

LEAGUE URL: http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/stl_brown_stockings

LEAGUE PASSWORD (case sensitive): browns

We'd really like five more teams and we're only open to the next five to sign up, so we're looking forward to seeing some of you guys there. Come on down!

Thanks gang, and Fuck Detroit!

2010-2011 St. Louis Blues Obituary - "I Was Wrong"

Donut King — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:55:36 -0000

Some of us Blues fans wanted to hold out hope that the trade deadline sell-off - while most agree was a springboard to an already-impressive Blues future - was not a bad thing for the 2010-2011 season. But Tuesday night, after a 6-0 shellacking on the back end of a home-and-home at the hands of the Calgary Flames, not a Goddamn person in Blues Nation is smiling about the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs anymore, and for good reason. And that's okay to do now.

All I have to say about this season is, just like the title of that old Social Distortion song . . . "I Was Wrong" about it. DEAD wrong. Well, motherfucker. And here's some lyrics, because really, why the hell not?:

"How could someone's bad luck last so long? Until I realized that I was wrong."

Honestly, I could not muster even FAKE rage at the result. Not to pull two music references in two paragraphs, but it's too easy . . . I was "Comfortably Numb" about it (Pink Floyd . . . for the win). Yeah, it sucks, but fuck it, it's sucked for longer than we wanted to believe it did - the season probably ended after that dreadful home-and-home with the Minnesota Wild, and we just didn't want to admit it.

As has been my norm lately, I was on Twitter before, during and after the game. And of course there was lots of hemming and hawing about this season and what has happened to it. Let's just say there was NOT much pontification of Charlie Sheen, tiger blood and "winning" (and an off-topic side note - FUCK Charlie Sheen in the ear. Remember when we thought Denise Richards was the crazy one?).

The best tweet of the night regarding the game came from a man who I consider one of my best friends, who also happens to be the founder of The Bluenote Zone (the other Blues blog I write for, if you didn't already know . . . I actually use my God-given name and stuff over there), as it gives a perfect recap of both the game and the season without actually saying word one about either of them:

@618_STLBlues: #Blues roll over, smoke a cigarette, tell the Flames to lock the door on the way out, leave cash on the table and start booking tee times.

That is the effort of brilliance right there. That's "winning". Nicely stated, Jeff. I passed it along as it sounds like something Gallagher would come up with. Don't lie - you thought the same thing.

I even got sympathy from the other side. Take this, from an Alberta native and Flames fan that just happens to be a fellow Denver Broncos fan, sent the morning after:

@stranded_in_to: @KingDonutI sir, you have my condolences. Just heard the score. I'll be doing recon in Cgy the next few days, so I'll keep you posted

See, when a Canadian Six team kills you, they actually sometimes feel bad about it. This is one thing I fucking love about being a hockey fan, actually - not every fan of every team is out for blood against everyone. I was touched, to say the least.

Now, just because this hockey season is over before it ends (again), by no means do I throw in the towel as far as watching this team. For one, what the hell else am I going to watch? The Cardinals? Call me on March 31st. The Fighting Illini? They're underachieving, too. Plus, I have tickets to at least two more Blues games this season, and I never pull away from hockey ticket commitments unless it's an absolute emergency. It's a rule, not a promise.

Folks, I've been through harder times as a Blues fan, and many of you have too. I've been through the heart break of making the damn playoffs 30 bajillion years straight and getting to so much as a conference final twice. I was watching in '05-'06, probably the worst season ever to be a hockey fan much less a Blues fan (Mike fucking Glumac? REALLY?!). Some of you can go back to the origins of the franchise and making the Cup Finals three times only to not win a damn one of those games. There are several teams in the NHL that are worse than the Blues this season, whether you want to believe it or not. What I'm trying to convey here is that while we've reached rock-bottom this season, we have NOT reached a franchise-overall rock-bottom. No, sir. No, ma'am.

I ride and die with these bitches every year, and I'm gonna ride and die with ‘em this year too. You have my word.

But I have no problem admitting that I was completely wrong about the 2010-2011 St. Louis Blues, and I wanted to apologize for that in the way only I knew how. I'm sorry, gang. Maybe next year?

Blues @ Oil Rig Thingamajiggers GDT

Donut King — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 00:58:43 -0000

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?! I THOUGHT THESE TRADES WERE GONNA WORK?!?! WE'RE DOOMED!!!!! WE'RE NEVER MAKING THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN! GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /StLToday Board'd

I'm pretty sure most of us Blues fans were realists even after the monster trade that went down just about exactly one week ago from this second. But hey, a big trade can do a lot to lift the spirits. Take the 9-3 shellacking of the Ducks from last Saturday, for example. Yeah, that was fun, eh? Not so much has been fun since then . . . something about a 3-game losing streak. I fucking hate those things.

Regardless, because this is the Wild Wild West, the Blues still do technically have a chance to make the playoffs. Either way, this team is going to turn me into a raging drunk by April if it hasn't already.

Anyway, in an attempt to start turning things around, tonight our troops invade the Rexall Place in beautiful downtown Edmonton to face the lowly Oilers (by the way, that's the first time the words "Beautiful", "Downtown" and "Edmonton" have ever appeared in the same sentence). Edmonton is, to be blunt, one of the worst teams in the National Hockey League and most certainly the worst team in the Western Conference. But what they lack in skill, they gain in sweet, sweet youth. I hear they have Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle and stuff. Yeah, those guys. And a few more.

This has been your quick and dirty preview. If you made it this far to read, I congratulate you.

Also, apropos of nothing, before the game I heard a rumo(u)r that the Blues were trying to deal Brad Boyes to Detroit. God, that would be fucking hilarious, wouldn't it? Fuck you, Eklund, even if you didn't start that rumo(u)r.

This is your game day thread. Do. This. Shit.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?! I THOUGHT THESE TRADES WERE GONNA WORK?!?! WE'RE DOOMED!!!!! WE'RE NEVER MAKING THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN! GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /StLToday Board'd

This has been your quick and dirty preview. If you made it this far to read, I congratulate you.

This is your game day thread. Do. This. Shit.

Blues Tweetup Monday - A Chance To Drink With #StLBlues Twitter Champions

Donut King — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 04:07:31 -0000

For the Blues, Monday's tilt with the Blackhawks is huge to their future standing in the playoff hunt. How big is it, you ask? For one, it's a pseudo-holiday (I say "pseudo" since I don't get paid to be off work on President's Day), so it's a special weekday afternoon start at 1pm. Moreover, Blues fans and Blackhawks fans will be pouring into town to see the game. I have it on good authority that at least one Bostonite - one that is smitten by the Church of #SobeSobe - is going to be in town for the game.

So what do we do? Simple: a group of us Blues fans on Twitter have banded together to have a Tweetup at a local establishment before and after the game! Details are available after the jump.

The gathering will be at Flannery's Irish Pub, off Washington, about five blocks north of the ~~DrinkScotch~~ ~~Scottrade~~ ~~Savvis~~ ~~JohnnyJuJu~~ Kiel Center. Show up before the game to pre-game it with fellow Blues fans, then stroll on down to the game if you have a ticket. After the Blues are done beating the SuckHawks (probably somewhere around 3:30 or 4pm), come back down to Flannery's and post-game it with those same Blues fans . . . and maybe more!

On a personal note, since as mentioned I don't get President's Day off work AND I don't plan on going to the game, I've taken a half-day from work and will arrive after the game. So no pre-game for me.

As for a guest list, I have a good idea as to who will be there but nothing is totally confirmed. Rest assured, though, that it will be a consortium of Blues bloggers, fans and the like. It's sure to be raucous, but hell, I can't even guarantee THAT. I know, I'm terrible at guaranteeing shit.

So come on by, have a couple brewskies, meet some fellow Blues fans and exchange Twitter handles. And if you're feeling frisky enough, bring your smartphone and use it to disseminate awesome hashtags like #JaroWater (even if he's injured) or #FuckDetroit or #InglouriousBackes or, simply, #StLBlues. And have ye a good ol' time.

Hope to see some of you there!

Aquatic Non-Mammals at St. Louis Blues - Your GDT

Donut King — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 23:16:58 -0000

So we all know what happened last time the Sharks were in town - something about a hit to David Perron's head or something by some guy whose name rhymes with Blow Hornton. And something about Perron not being able to play since that game. Also, something about Perron being a faker by some Sharks blogger who likely knows nothing about head injuries. Seriously, fuck that guy.

The Sharks come into tonight's action a very respectable 5-3-1 on the month. The key there is that they're probably not letting Dany Heatley drive at any point, which cuts down on injuries to teammates. Well, that's quite nice of them.

Sorry about the quick-and-dirty-ness of this GDT intro, but as you can see, it's a last-minute thing. I'm pinch-hitting for PCS, and you'll likely see me later. Perhaps some folks from Fear The Fin will pop by, and they're generally cool people, so say hello and yell a good Fuck Detroit to them.

Anyway, this is your GDT. Get to work, fuckers! And LET'S GO BLUES!

Blues Carols: "Rick Nash Got Ran Over By A Tee Jay"

Donut King — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 16:58:58 -0000

Our friends over at Fear The Fin put up some really cool "Sharks Carols" that you may have seen on Sunday's links. Well, I came up with one of my own. If you have any, feel free to share them in the FanPosts or, if you're a staff writer, post it on the front page.

The following is sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer". Well, of course it is. Enjoy what comes after the jump, kids!

Rick Nash got ran over by a Tee Jay,
Skating down the ice one Sunday Night.
They say Rick didn't know where he was going,
And that explains why he sees flashing lights.

It was a great night in Columbus,
And the hockey game was fun.
Rick Nash couldn't see what's coming,
And Teej unloaded with his shoulder like a shotgun.

The Bee Jays homers thought it was dirty,
Though we all knew the play was clean.
But the broadcasters kept on bitching,
While their captain flopped on the ice like in a dream.

Rick Nash got ran over by a Tee Jay,
Skating down the ice one Sunday Night.
They say Rick didn't know where he was going,
And that explains why he sees flashing lights.

He pries himself from the ice slowly,
And tries to shake off the effects.
But his attempts prove to be futile,
And he falls back down like many airplane wrecks.

Now you could say there was plenty
Of piss and vinegar in the Bee Jays.
But not a one went up to Tee Jay,
Because we all know they have sandy VaJayJays.

Rick Nash got ran over by a Tee Jay,
Skating down the ice one Sunday Night.
They say Rick didn't know where he was going,
And that explains why he sees flashing lights.

November Tenth came way too quickly,
And the Tee Jay was hip-checked.
David Backes didn't think it funny,
And the scrum caused Tee Jay's ankle to be wrecked.

Samuel Pahlsson was the culprit,
And the damage was not good,
Because Pahlsson dropped the Tee Jay
In a clumsy fashion that a dumb Swede would.

Rick Nash got ran over by a Tee Jay,
Skating down the ice one Sunday Night.
They say Rick didn't know where he was going,
And that explains why he sees flashing lights.

Donut King's Totally-Biased 2010-2011 Blues Preview

Donut King — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 04:05:34 -0000

Snark is intended . . . for a good lot of this. Read at your own risk. - DK

By the time you read this, there will be less than 36 hours until the puck drops (for real!) at the ~~Scottrade~~ ~~DrinkScotch~~ ~~Savvis~~ ~~Johnny Appleseed~~ Kiel Center. I'll be there. I'll have fun. And if there's not at least one on-ice fight, I'll leave disappointed unless - of course - the Blues win.

But that's not why I'm spitting at you today. No, I'm going to give my completely biased, totally homer-like preview of my team . . . your team . . . OUR team . . . the St. Louis Blues. You're gonna enjoy what happens after the jump, trust me. But it won't be as good as this, I guarantee.

So yes, I am a homer. Do you think I give a shit what you think? Then why would I give a shit what prognosticators think the Blues are gonna do this year? Right. I didn't think so.

Sure, other than picking up a potential Goalie of the Future in Jaroslav Halak and swiping some third- or fourth-line grinder type in Vladimir Sobotka from the Boston Bruins, the Blues have pretty much done jack and/or shit this offseason, and Jack just bought train tickets. But that doesn't matter - we've got kids! LOTS of them! Some of them are playing for contracts and future places in the organization's plans. And nothing motivates kids like responsibility. Right? Oh. Damnit.

So here's a rundown of the key components as to how the Blues can - and WILL - succeed this year, beyond the aforementioned new Legend of the Revised Stop Sign and his backup, he of the awesome fashion sense and uncanny ability to not suck in short periods of ice time.

Shit is about to get real.

You can trash me if you want, but every team needs a guy like "SIR JAXX", the one and only Barret Jackman, on their team. You know he's going to make mistakes. You know he's going to overplay a forward at least once a game, leading to a premium scoring chance. But what ELSE do you know is going to happen? He's gonna give someone the "You're fucking stupid" look, and if he gets the wrong reaction from whoever it is he GIVES this look to, he's going to pound their ever-loving shit in (Of note - Jackman was junior teammates with current MLB hothead Nyjer Morgan. The More You Know^TM). Or take a piss on your face. Or something. And it will be fantastic. You can't replace this with anything - not even a robot.

Speaking of Eric Brewer . . . our weekday links guru has already proclaimed that this can be a solid season for this team's venerable robotic captain. I'm inclined to agree with him on mostly the same grounds on which Joe based his opinion - contract year, fully healthy for the first time in 24 months (save for this hip issue he's dealing with) - but add this: what about all this bitching and bickering about Brewer's worthiness as Blues captain (and for the record, I side on "No C For Brewer")? That's GOTTA piss off even the calmest robot, right? Just you watch - this guy's gonna put up a career year that puts his 2006-07 season to shame. And stop laughing at me, asshole!

The rest of the defense corps? Young, brutish and ready for action. Anyone who had the pleasure of having a ticket for last Saturday's preseason game got the pleasure of seeing Roman Polak literally LIFT HIMSELF AND ANOTHER MAN OFF THE ICE DURING A FIGHT! AND PUNCHED HIM ON THE WAY UP! Sure, it was Jeff Woywitka. It doesn't matter - that's another full-grown human being, and he pulled Woywitka AND himself off the ice - and punched him! - all in one motion. I can't wait for someone to completely goof and set Roman off this year. Someone will die. Then there's Eeej, Erik Johnson. All of a sudden, he's as big as a tank. Hopefully he's getting more accurate with that slapper. And Alex Pietrangelo . . . young, big, talented. Carlo Colaiacovo kinda gets lost in this shuffle, but the dude has some skills, as long as his bones don't explode. And Tyson Strachan. Enjoy that press box buffet, sir. It'll be fun!

Scoring? Hell yeah they can score! Just ask Jonas Hiller. Just ask Roberto Luongo. And if you want to argue about it, just ask Jonathan Toews. Brad Boyes may rebound and have another career year, which I think we're all entitled to believe COULD happen, but David Backes is playing for a contract. And despite what we want to believe, Backes IS human. He just won't look human on the ice this year. He won't score buckets full of goals, but 30 is not out of the question for this bad-ass. Then you have Frenchie (David Perron), Teeeeeeeeej (TJ Oshie), whatever's left of the potential of Patrik Berglund, FrankenSteen and his new contract and a variety of others that actually try to score goals. This could be more fun than the roster sheet shows at the outset of the season.

Silent Jay McClement? Your top-six forward will not score on him, so don't even try. Let's just say I'm fully on board with the Selke campaign. And if you want to try to pull your goaltender, get ready for an empty-netter. He gets half his goals per year doing that.

And while Cam Janssen may not kick your ass, he will leave you winded enough to make you skip several shifts after a fight with him. Then he'll knock you out in the second dance. And if he doesn't, BJ Crombeen will finish the job, then score a goal after he flummoxes a goaltender with the fact that, yes, he just got a shot-on-goal against you. SUH-PRIZE, BEEYOTCH!

All of these factors point toward what could be a terrific season for the Blues. Goaltending. Defense. Goal-scoring. Hey, it's a hockey team! Just like the other 29 of them!

Naysayers? I don't want to hear it. The Blues CAN be good this year - and not just "Filling out the playoff bottom-feeders" good. Legitimately good. Overly solid. Effective if not spectacular. They can get the job done. Good enough to justify giving Brad Winchester more than five minutes of ice time per night (OK, I'm running out of superlatives obviously).

Most prognosticators have the Blues either barely in the playoffs or just out of the playoffs. That's fucking nonsense, and they know it. Not a Stanley Cup contender? OK, you may have us there. Not good enough to be in the top four? Homey, please. Not better than Detroit? Now you're just fucked in the head. If I have any guarantees with how this season is gonna go, it's this - the Blues will be better than the Red Wings. Take it to the bank.

I can't wait for April. Not only will the playoffs begin in April, but all those idiots who had the Blues scraping into the playoffs or not getting there will have to kiss all our rosy-red asses and beg for playoff tickets at our beloved cylinder of hockey-viewing. And it will be fun.

Are you ready to hop on board? Let's do this shit.

LET'S GO BLUES!

More Proof That David Frost Is Still A Jerkface

Donut King — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 03:13:44 -0000

More Proof That David Frost Is Still A Jerkface

A solid piece posted by Katie Baker at Deadspin yesterday. I would recommend this even if you were NOT a hockey fan. It's about hockey's ultimate asshat, David Frost, and his ever-interesting relationship with one of hockey's ultimate engimas, former Blue Mike (Jefferson) Danton. Kinda surprised it hadn't been posted yet.

Sorry, Joe, if you had this slated for the Wednesday linkage.

OT: I be perturbed about something.

Donut King — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 04:04:53 -0000

Tonight, I'm a bit pissed at something. I don't know why I SHOULD be pissed, but I am. And the reason why I'm pissed is living proof that I have a long memory.

Like most of you, I am a Cardinals fan. In fact, I've always identified the Cardinals as my favorite professional sports franchise, despite football being my favorite sport and the Blues being my greatest passion. And I apparently still have commenting privileges at SBN's Cardinals blog, Viva El Birdos.

But let's get to the point. Why am I pissed? Well, let's take a look at something from their GDT for tonight, then get an explanation afterward:

anybody remember a 2-3 month period when this website was populated almost exclusively by comments like "SIGN BEN SHEETS!!!!!!!!"? various fanposts extolled his glory.

in retrospect, that must have been extremely annoying. sorry.

So you say, "Geez, DK, what the fuck is your problem? Why are you so pissed?" The answer follows, young grasshopper.

Tonight, I'm a bit pissed at something. I don't know why I SHOULD be pissed, but I am. And the reason why I'm pissed is living proof that I have a long memory.

But let's get to the point. Why am I pissed? Well, let's take a look at something from their GDT for tonight, then get an explanation afterward:

anybody remember a 2-3 month period when this website was populated almost exclusively by comments like "SIGN BEN SHEETS!!!!!!!!"? various fanposts extolled his glory.

in retrospect, that must have been extremely annoying. sorry.

So you say, "Geez, DK, what the fuck is your problem? Why are you so pissed?" The answer follows, young grasshopper.

Back in SLGT's neophyte days of being an SBN blog (which was, like, 19 months ago), I joined VEB. Since I am . . . a Cardinals fan. Not too long afterward, I presented them a FanPost presenting every reason why the Cardinals had no business even thinking about signing Ben Sheets. See, I'm a Cardinals fan, and I don't want the Cardinals to sign people whose arms are obviously about to fall off.

Of course, as you'll see in the comments section of said FanPost, everyone's all like "STAT ANALYSIS!" and "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" and " . . . THE FUCK?!" about the whole thing.

Fast forward to now. Ben Sheets now pitches for the Oakland Athletics and, as Cards fans saw tonight, is not even worth about five squirts of piss. He's earning $10MM this year to . . . go 2-7 thus far in the season. I think his ERA is somewhere north of the oil barrel count of the BP oil spill, but I'll get back with you later on that. (It's 4.95.)

All I wanted to convey was that the guy had physical problems and we didn't need to be pursuing the guy. As it turned out, Sheets had surgery and missed all of last season. Then his agent somehow convinces Billy Beane to sign him for $10MM for the 2010 season, and now Sheets is considered a weak link for a team that is floundering poorly in what many consider the worst division in Major League Baseball.

Why am I pissed? Well, not once have I been given a message from these folks telling me that maybe I was right about my concerns. Or that maybe I was rational. Or maybe I was forward-thinking. Or anything of the sort. No, I'm just the guy screaming from a fucking rooftop singing praises to a cause they didn't support and, yeah, he's right, but fuck him.

Do I expect any kind of apology? No, I don't. Do I care? No, I don't. Would an apology be nice? Yeah, maybe. Is Ben Sheets pitching with a limp arm? Probably. Are the Cardinals handicapped by his seemingly diminishing talents? Not at all - in fact, we've benefited once from them.

I hate being right, only because it doesn't happen often.

REPORT: Blackhawks Fan Accused Of Not Celebrating Stanley Cup Victory Properly

Donut King — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 00:58:38 -0000

By Johnny Donutsky

STAUNTON, Ill. – A St. Louis Blues hockey blogger from Illinois received an interesting piece of mail in his letterbox Tuesday afternoon, sparking accusations that at least one Chicago Blackhawks fan was not celebrating his team’s 2010 Stanley Cup victory properly, according to local reports.

Donut King, a perpetually drunk and possibly depraved Blues fan who occasionally writes for blogs such as St. Louis Game Time and The Bluenote Zone, returned home from his regular employment Tuesday afternoon to find in his mail an envelope with his given name and home address handwritten on it. The envelope lacked a return address, but the words "ATTN: LOSER" were found to be inscribed at the bottom of the envelope postmarked Monday, June 14 in St. Louis.

Inside the envelope was a color photo of Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane that, according to forensic reports, was taken Wednesday, June 9 on the ice of the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia. On the photo, Kane was wearing a "Stanley Cup Champions" cap backwards and holding a Blackhawks flag over his head. The photo, printed on plain white printer paper, was allegedly printed from the popular sports website "ESPN.com" on Thursday, June 10, according to the victim and authorities.

According to records obtained by St. Louis Game Time, a penned inscription was found to the right of the printed photo that read as follows (sic'd):

How bout them Hawks! Does it make you sad that they won? Well Too Fuckin Bad. Boo Hoo Loser.

Above: the piece of evidence in question

When questioned about the alleged incident, Donut King submitted the following statement to the press:

I’ve never received hate mail before, and I must say, the first time I get it, I laughed my fucking head off! I mean, here the Hawks are, they win the Stanley Cup for the first time in nearly half a Goddamn century, and this fan of theirs takes the time from celebrating to send an image with a playfully crude message to a fucking BLOGGER of one of his team’s rivals?! Comedy. Fucking. Gold. I almost feel like framing this.

As of press time, the identity and whereabouts of the accused Blackhawks fan were neither known nor really given two shits about by both the victim and authorities.

Area Crimestoppers units have instructed anyone with information on the accused fan to point and laugh at the silly son of a bitch if and when he is identified and located.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Yes, the image is real. Yes, this really did happen. I think I have some ideas of who may have sent this to me. Yes, I did laugh. And yes, I do feel like framing it. Because I am a jackass like that. – DK)

TWEET TWEET!

Donut King Be Tweetin', Yo.

Donut King — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 01:14:55 -0000

I finally got up with the times and got myself a Twitter account. Link after the jump.

http://twitter.com/KingDonutI

I'm young at this, so who the hell knows how often I'll be updating it. I sure know it's not all going to be Blues updates, so if you're looking for that . . . you're screwed.

Anyway, follow me. I'll follow you.

Cheers,