SBNation.com User Blog: Dwoods2u

Breaking News: Selfish Roethlisberger rears his ugly head again!

Dwoods2u — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:06:21 -0000

Big Ben once again shows just how selfish he is. Oh, I say and I say it again, we’ve been had! We’ve been took! We’ve been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok! This is what He does... There is no “i” in team but Ben proves there is a “me”.

He clearly did not want this season to be anyone but his. He was mildly accepting of the Bus’s swansong season and a little less of the Hines season. He understood this year was to be his. Tomlin assured him. Haley even called on his private line to affirm the fact. Gone are the old leaders. He alone stood at the top of the heap at the top of the wall ready to dash away dash away dash away all. His star had risen, his son was born. The time was right. The time was his.

Then Heath emerged, as if from Bethlehem, with a cultish call of saviordom heard around the world. Can a prophet come from Virginia? Are they bellowing HEEEEEEEATH for every white guy? To make matter worse, from the multi-room Running Back Dog House Dwyer took center stage and flushed out the MEndehall. Ben though, understood his team would need a supporting cast so he was willing. If MEndenhall returned from injury ala All Day Peterson and Pey Pey Manning that would jeopardize his glory. If Heath did not produce how could he win with Young Money looking like pocket change?

But two weeks ago the unthinkable happened. Charlie Batch rose from the ashes of Homestead – born at a time when steel was more prominent than water-slides and shopping. Old Man Charlie lifted the spirits of a team and a city. With a rusty arm and two eyes made out of coal, this wise old man saved our season. His was a performance that was sure to go down in history (like George Washington). Elvis left the building. There was nooooo doubt about it. Tears melted our hearts and soggied our land. But Ben was not happy.

How could Charlie do this to him? Was he Charlie and Charlie, Lucy? Did he just do that?

Ben devised a plan… In front of the Charlie, Heath, and Dwyer lovers he would put it into play. Fumble away a TD. Throw away another few points. No one would notice a loss to San Diego after losses to Oakland, Tennessee, Cleveland. Put the team back into peril then he can bring them back! Cruella Deville would have been proud of this dastardly deed. The evil Kirk Cousins, Cam Cameron, and Tony Romo performed on cue. Step 1 worked to perfection.

Now, robed in Kevlar that would make Seal Team 6 feel safe, Ben has what he wanted. He has the team and the city on his 11 ½ ribbed back. Even our MMA star Willie Colon has been dealt with. No next man up can take it from him now… there are no more men. He knows we can’t win without him, now. He has us right where he wants us.

He knows he wears the number we are seeking. Our 7th Lombardi is in his hands. We must submit. He has won!

How could Charlie do this to him? Was he Charlie and Charlie, Lucy? Did he just do that?

He knows he wears the number we are seeking. Our 7th Lombardi is in his hands. We must submit. He has won!

Who do you love? Who do you hate?

Dwoods2u — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 19:05:43 -0000

Who do you love? Who do you hate?

via nepatriotsdraft.pixafy.netdna-cdn.com

In 1956 Bo Diddley wrote and performed the oft covered little ditty, "Who do you love". Perhaps George Thorogood did the most famous remake. Hearing it recently made me think, who I love is easy. But who do I truly hate?

Since this is a Steeler site let me focus on Steeler opponents, teams and players. As a group I don’t think we harbor hate for many teams or players. Sure there are many players and teams we do not like, more we do not care for, but the majority we don’t even pay much attention to. Do we hate anyone on the division foes Browns or Bengals anymore? Do we hate them as teams? We shouldn’t. They are like playing Akron or Middle Tennessee Valley State most years. We should be thankful they are on our schedule and make for delightful homecomings (most years). Do we have reason to hate any current Cowboys or Titans players– both historical rivals? Do we hate Denver or do we just wish it wasn’t at such a high altitude? Do we hate the Raiders or do we just feel bad for them?

I hate Tom Brady and Bill Belechick as a couple (seen in gif being very cozy). I would just dislike each if they never got married. We owned Billy Video when he was in Cleveland (8-2 including a playoff victory). But as many know the couple is 6-2 against us including two AFC Championships, both in Pittsburgh. To make matters worse, these games could have produced the All PA Super Bowl – but no. We do have the latest laugh in a dominating win last October – the couple only managed 213 total yards and a last second safety made trick-or-treating extra special.

I hate the father and son pair Joe Flacco and Jim Harbaugh (see gif of holding hands after a tough loss). But, as recent history shows they may not be worth my venom. They may be victims of no one else to hate. I actually like it when Joe has the ball late in the game. There is a 50/50 chance he will fumble. I like seeing Jimbo hands on hips in a girlie way pondering ways to keep his boy from ruining Christmas again. I must admit, I can’t hate Ray Lewis or Ed Reed – the former out of fear the latter out of amazement – both out of sheer respect.

via www.masnsports.com

via i.usatoday.net

I hate the Aaron Rogers and Clay Matthews duo – maybe because they both seem so smug with the flying hair and discount double checking… plus they beat us.

I used to hate Chris Collinsworth. I didn’t research his impact against us – I don’t have to. No matter what the stats say that guy was like a gnat at a picnic – unwanted, unswatable, and unclean. But his recent commentaries are turning me into a fan. See, I can change.

I still hate the Cowboys from my 70’s youth, the ’93 debacle, and living in near Philly now. I hated Neil O’Donnell for a while. Sorry Neil.

I hate David Girard – but that’s mostly because he took advantage of a holding non-call on 4th down and scampered into my hatred making for a long quiet drive back to Philly. Loudest and quietest I have ever heard Heinz Field.

Who do you hate?

Who do you love? Who do you hate?

via nepatriotsdraft.pixafy.netdna-cdn.com

via www.masnsports.com

via i.usatoday.net

I hate the Aaron Rogers and Clay Matthews duo – maybe because they both seem so smug with the flying hair and discount double checking… plus they beat us.

I still hate the Cowboys from my 70’s youth, the ’93 debacle, and living in near Philly now. I hated Neil O’Donnell for a while. Sorry Neil.

Who do you hate?

Steeler Ringless of Honor

Dwoods2u — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:09:00 -0000

Steeler Ringless of Honor

Who was the greatest Steeler to NOT win a Super Bowl?

As Steeler fans, we are a blessed fan base. I’d say it was an embarrassment of riches but we’re not embarrassed. In terms of our success, we are the Yankees, Manchester United, the Lakers or Celtics of Football. The 49ers and Cowboys are rivals – but still not in our class. Black and gold fleece blankets the globe. We are a Nation of nations. Sadly, we have crossed over from beloved to hated. Other fan bases have formed an axes of allies to thwart our dynastic superiority. But it’s still so good to be us.

Steeler Ringless of Honor

Who was the greatest Steeler to NOT win a Super Bowl?

Throughout our supremacy we have always cataloged the greatest players in our franchise. Most often, their greatness is forged in the big game… their tallest tales displayed on the biggest night for the ultimate prize. Our boys rank among the all-time greats simply because of the rings they’ve collected. I feel bad for the franchises that have never won or those with distant memories of prominence. They boast of their greatest players but disappointment, discouragement, and sadness always fill the air.

What if we never won? Who would be our greatest? Who is in the Steelers Ringless of Honor?

My nominees:

1. Rod Woodson HOF

2. Dermontti Dawson HOF

3. Louis Lipps

4. Greg Lloyd Sr.

5. Kordell Stewart

Fantasy Football Draft Preparation – DOs and DON’Ts for Steeler Fans

Dwoods2u — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 20:37:39 -0000

As fans of the Steelers scattered throughout the world it is important that we take a moment to adequately prepare for our upcoming fantasy drafts. We are near the top in our knowledge of football and our love for our team knows no bounds. But as fantasy football owners we must protect ourselves against ourselves. And therefore, I have created a list of DOs and DON’Ts to help you navigate the minefield of being a Steeler fan on draft day – both envied and hated throughout the land.

First of all you must remember that a good year for the Steelers does not equate to a good fantasy year for any of its players. You must also remember that a Steeler win and a good season is always more important than your fantasy team. That said, your head must be in the right place on draft day. I know you are upset at the projections for Ben’s production and the ADP (average draft position) for all other Steelers offends you… I also know you know we never win big or fancy or with gaudy numbers – and we don’t care. But your heart is telling you that this year we can have both. On draft day you must squash those feelings… and be smart. Use your head!

DOs

BE TRUE FAN.

You must. Not you shall, or you should, or you may… you MUST have at least two Steelers on your roster. You can do this effectively and with great success if you remain patient. This loyalty may cost you a few roster spots but it is a small price to pay to be a true fan. It is acceptable to pick up these two players in the later rounds as backups. They do not have to start each week – they simply need t be on your team.

Secondly, If you are not living in the Pittsburgh area your team name must have a Steeler or Pittsburgh connection. (I’m in Delaware my team name is DE Stillers). You must represent at all times.

HAVE A POKER FACE. I realize this is difficult with your team name and the wearing of your new Antonio Brown jersey to the draft (even when you draft remotely), but you cannot let everyone in the draft know you covet Steelers. You can throw them off by coveting their team’s guys. Try saying, “I think this is Maclin’s breakout year” or “Malcolm Floyd is going to explode this year”. Be careful… those statements may prove too. Better be safe and talk up Flacco.

DON’Ts

DON’T BE A HOMER. Now this is critical. Your heart will tell you that a Redman/Mendenhall combination is lethal and that Miller under Haley will become Gonzales. This will cause you to overvalue and reach. Redman/Mendy combo might be good and Miller might be ok too… but good in fantasy does not win you championships.

DON’T BE A TURNCOAT. There is no reason to have anyone from the AFC North on your roster. You cannot put yourself in a position where you are rooting for your fantasy team against your team team. The Orthodox version of this rule also excludes Cowboys and Raiders if you are over 45 and Patriots if you are under 35 – all 3 if you are between 36 and 45. (I’m 42). Dispensation can be granted if you can show just cause and have the appropriate number of Steelers.

DON’T BE A HOMERCOAT. This is the guy who drafts the Steelers Kicker. Please do not do this. We cannot have you cheering for a failed red-zone attempt only to settle for a FG. Plenty of teams will fail in the red-zone and settle for FGs – Jets, Eagles, and Colts to name a few.

DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR TRIVIA. You will recall senseless facts about the Steelers like Rainey running a 4.24 or Redman’s legendary TDs in training camp goal-line drills… You have too much Steeler knowledge and it makes all other players seem slow and inept at the goal-line.

DON’T BE TOO COOL. You shall not refer to all Steelers by their nicknames while using the regular names for every other player. When discussing the Steelers DST do not mention Deebo or Big Snack. Big Ben and Young Money are off the table too. This gets old fast and makes more enemies of the Steelers.

DON’T BE TOO FORMAL. Conversely to the above rule, you shall not refer to all Steelers by their first, middle, and last names while referring all other players by their regular names. It is acceptable to do this once and only once… For instance, in the 10th round you may draft, “Former high school QB, AKA Big Money at UVA… now under new OC Haley expected to resemble Tony Gonzales… Earl Heath Miller, Jr. HEAAAAAAAAATH!”

If you’re not in my league you should consider the following late round sleepers: Robert Meachem, Titus Young, Jacqizz Rogers, Jacob Tamme, and Matt Ryan. Have fun and good luck!