With Witrado entering a whole new realm of unprofessionalism, serving as an eyewitness to things he hasn't seen, and the calls for his replacement that are echoing around the world wide intertubes(or at the very least the Wisconsin wide intertubes), I ask you to vote on how the JS could possible replace the stylings of Anthony Witrado.  Sadly, the monkey used to help Yost manage last season has been hired away by the Nationals so he's not an option.

We all know our beloved Jason Kendall has struggled at the plate recently, but exactly how bad has he been?  Here is Kendall's average for the last 3 years:  243/317/309 and a 67 OPS+.  For some historical perspective(and a fun guessing game) on these seasons of futility:  What catcher, known for his innovative approach to catching knuckleballs, posted a 200/293/287/62 OPS+ career line?  This career spanned six years in an era so dominated by pitchers it led to multiple rule changes.

Out of all the things Ned Yost did poorly, one of the underlooked ones was his inability to properly use his bench.  Four of the position players started more than 150 games last year, and it is my opinion this was why the team struggled down the stretch.  The starters were worn down, and 'crunch time' isn't the best spot to start resting them.

So with that said, imagine you are the GM and can not only set up the roster but dicatate playing time.  From the 40-man roster who do you want to see fill the 5 bench spots, and how do you want to see them used?  I see the bench as:

1. Brad Nelson, platoon 3B/backup corner OF
2. Craig Counsell, backup SS/2B
3. TGJr, utility OF
4. The mythical Mike Rivera, backup C/1B
5. Vinny Rotino

As the lefty platoon partner, Nelson should start about 90ish games at 3B, with another 15-20 in LF.  Counsell should see 50 games starting between SS and 2B with another 10-15 games as a late game defensive sub, Gwynn 40 games in CF/RF, Rivera 40 games at C and another 15-20 at 1B. 

Rotino keeps Bill Schroeder from freaking out when The mythical Mike Rivera is used in the same game as Kendall , and can reprise the role of Joe Dillon from last year of striking out against lefties in crucial late game situations when it isn't Kendall's turn to bat.  Counsell will continue in his role of hitting late-inning weak ground outs against righties.

Now seems the ideal time for a contending team to sign Barry Bonds.  You could basically make the addition without having to juggle any roster spots.  Sign him, place him on the 15 day DL and send him to AAA for a rehab assignment.  You let your AAA club deal with the media circus while getting an idea what Bonds can do.  If he looks like a 44 year old who hasn't picked up a bat in a year you cut him and are done with it.  If he looks like he can still hit, by the time he is eligible to come off the DL rosters are expanded to 40 so you just have to make room on the 40 man roster and the initial media feeding frenzy has subsided.  It will be a two day story when he is activated to the big league club, but not much beyond that.  Also because he would be on the DL as of August 31st he would be eligible for the post-season roster.

I have to be missing something.

The UTG is based off a simple measure, the Kendall Unit of Grit(KUG) which is the amount of grit that Jason Kendall emits while at rest, ie mowing the yard, getting his hair cut or just normal everyday stuff.  He is the basis because his grit ranking is the highest in recorded history for at rest measurements.  There are rumors that their is another being that can emit more grit, the Ecksteinosaurus, but this has never been verified.  The closest we have ever come to the Eckstenosaurus in captivity is the Davidecksteinosaurus which is its smaller cousin.  While impressive in its own right, the Davidecksteinosaurus is only capable of about .85 KUGs.  It has been extrapolated that a full grown Eckstein could be capable of 1.3-1.4 KUGs, but for right now that is just idle speculation.

Continue reading this post »

How can these guys be expected to continue at this pace?  Some brave soul should stop Julian Tavares before he leaves town.  Surely he will be needed after we grind through the other pitchers on the 40 man roster.

Continue reading this post »

They just can't keep this pace up all season.  It's just inhumane that these guys be worked this much.  There are still TWO bullpens in the NL who have been used less than the Brewers'.

Continue reading this post »

Or not.  12th in the NL in innings pitched, 5 1/3 innings under league average. 

Good thing we've got those professional journalists with all that access to sources providing us with the straight story, as opposed to those shiftless bloggers who don't know nothing spouting rumor and supposition. 

Continue reading this post »