Leafs outplay Calgary most of the game and still lose going away. Positives - Luke Schenn, Gunner, Phil Kessel, Matt Stajan. Negatives - pretty much everything else.

Calgary got a quick three, and then, Bundy-style, asked for the five count. We almost hulked-up for the comeback, but then got squashed in the third.

So, playoffs is kinda definitely not happening, right? The only thing that ever seems to change is the way it all goes wrong. Give me some reasons to believe, after the jump.

Just when they think they know the answers, we change the questions. 

Let's hope the Leafs are more Roddy Piper and less Frank Williams. Third period with Very Special Guest Host Godd Till is GO, after the jump...

Today's Province:

Shots can be a fuzzy statistic. The Detroit Red Wings have led the league for years. That's when it's a good stat. The Toronto Maple Leafs have been in the top-10 for years. That's when it's a bad one.

Sometimes it indicates which team is controlling play. Other times, it's only indicative of a van full of bricklayers launching rocks at a goalie from the roadside.

2008-09 Goals For: Toronto - 250, Vancouver - 246. Some days I really hate living here.

Genius.

Yay, I tell you that there will be those amongst the non-believers who crow at the Guru's lack of success versus the infidels of the Blue and White. Let them know that God himself needed to rebuild the entire earth before finding his chosen people! The Guru's time with the Senators and Panthers was but the impetus for the new Genesis of glory that comes from finally being united with the chosen, Les Habitants! The Don River will run red with the blood and tears of the non-believers after the Guru brings hell to the House of Sodom known as the ACC! We will not be denied! The Guru will stand astride the NHL as a bilingual, stoic, shining beacon of fantastic! He will become the collosus that crushes all before him in a vice-like grip of defensive acumen married to the Canadiens already otherworldly offensive talents! You will not doubt him, or you will not be party to the glory and joy of victory! 

Editor's Note: Who says the Leafs can't win anything? All it takes is for one bitter Habs fan to take potshots at the buds.

Who's the worst owners in the NHL? Tampa? Phoenix? Not even top 5 according the hockey hacks at SI *coughmichaelfarbercough*, who know that MLSE is the worst of them all!

Here's the criteria: 

* Team's success or failure on the field.
* Willingness to spend money to improve the team.
* Stability and capabilities of the front office and management.
* Amenities at the team's venue.
* Club's culture and interactivity with fans.

Hmm. Getting 60% of those right, as MLSE have done (hint, 2-4) may get you through high school, but in competing with the tremendous ownership and management you see everywhere in the league, it's only good enough for LAST. My comment, crossposted from the piece at Mirtle's:

I can’t argue with MLSE’s placement (well, I could, but I don’t care to); this, though is ludicrous:

as MLSE is too busy running too many sports properties and breaking ground on too many real estate projects to pay enough attention to the Leafs.

I dunno, hiring Burke and Wilson and getting the hell out of the way is the exact amount of attention I want Larry and Peddie paying.

This is the best Leafs coverage in SI since the 'Most Hated Team In the League' piece. Memories!

Hey humanoids,

With the Leafs upcoming meeting with the Kings of Tank just around the corner - a game where MR KIM JORN will be in attendance - we're fielding questions for our next round of Ask an Isles Fan, your chance to interact with the fan of the team whose epic fail makes the life of a Leafs fan look like a bottomless milkshake. Ask Dick Ripietro about the next 72 years on his namesakes contract, for example! Fun!

Your questions in the comments please!

[Ed.'s Note: I had a previous commitment that kept me from witnessing Antro's heroic's which, seeing as I am probably his biggest supporter, was devastating. However, I recruited Godd Till from Cox Bloc to give you the recapping goodness that you expect. Thanks for taking over the duties!]

Your regular correspondent was unavailable so this recap of another Leafs victory in their relentless march towards the first of eight Stanley Cups is a Godd Till Joint.

One of Don Cherry's favourite hobby horses to beat us over the head with Saturday nights is "the shot's always a good play." Well, it certainly was tonight.

The first period was a microcosm of the Leafs early season form. Two quick goals by Matty Stajan and Mats, followed by some extended PP incompetence, and then they took the rest of the period off. Except Woz.

After Mr Magoo had allowed the Rangers to get back into it with a Girardi goal, he called another seemingly soft penalty. Make-A-Wish, on the penalty kill for some reason, ran over Toskala, allowing Tyutin to tie it up. It never made any sense to ever put him out there in the first place and even less so with Kubina back.

Fortunately, in the second period, a couple things happened. The Leafs continued to score on every second shot and Antro took over the game.

Seems as if the Leafs have found the solution to their PP problems as the decision to park the big man with the great hands in front of the net paid off with two tipped goals for his first hat trick since his rookie year.

Lundqvist was chased after two, but Valiquette could do no better, and the Leafs skated away with a 6-2 win. Not the greatest game but props to the boys for bouncing back from the first period meltdown to win going away.

BTW, I listened to this action on AM 640. The three best commercials:

1. "The network's down? What am I paying you for?" Yeah, that boss gets respect. And what's with the company prez using the terrorist voice modifier? I guess he always dreamed of being a robot.
   
2. Monaghan Lumber... KING OF THE WOODS!! Peterborough represent! Seriously, does the TO audience really drive 90 minutes to get lumber?
   
3. "Oh I guess these vans are really crappy, with lots of miles on them, eh?"

"No way eh, take off Wendel! They're top of the line vehicles with less than 65 000KM!" Wendel completes his hat trick of outstandingly hilarious commercials, right up there with the Chunky Soup ads and "Good book, eh?"

Next up, the Bruins running out the clock like they're Sparta Piestany FC tied 0-0 with Arsenal. I know what I'll be doing...