SB Nation User Blog: GoodKeith

Let's all watch the game! At a sports bar edition

GoodKeith — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:23:42 -0000

So you've finally found a way to watch the hockey game at a sports bar. Congratulations. Tonight, your favorite team is up against Liberty City's Ice Knights, which means, hopefully, your sports bar will be free of any fans rooting against the visiting team. Sure, both of you enjoyed/experienced/gagged on Mark Messier as an active player on your roster, but tonight, the only common element both your teams have is a high profile player named Henrik. With that being said, here's your guide to maximizing enjoyment of the game!

PRE-GAME: Stake out spot in sports bar that reminds you most of home, preferably the one closest to a wall in case you need to lean on it later (why later? keep reading). Shoot glare at fans who are cheering for other teams/other sports going on and mock their struggles heroically. Order your favorite beer and an appetizer. Hell, order two.

CANUCKS SCORE FIRST!!! That's why you came here. You wanted to see how others would react. You know your family's reaction. Your wife will fake a cheer, your kid will stare blankly at the television, and your pet will do what he always does. It's a shame, however, you're the only one cheering. Get yourself another beer.

RANGERS STRIKE BACK. Quietly sip your beer. Do not get too crazy. Do not answer the phone -- your co-worker is calling, taunting you. Ask waitress for an RC Cola.

RANGERS SCORE AGAIN. From here on out you can do one of two things... take a shot any time the Rangers score or take a shot any time the Canucks, you know, take a shot. It's Tuesday Night in the city...

RAYCROFT GETS PULLED. Sing your favorite song.

SCHNEIDER GETS SCORED ON. Can't help you there.

Hopefully you remembered to get a seat against the wall because balance becomes an issue after a couple drinks and the wall is there to save your ace and your face. Leave a good tip and drag yourself home, knowing the road ahead is long indeed...

Then go puke in Marian Gaborik's yard.

PRED: NYR 4, VAN 2

Quack quack quack...

GoodKeith — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:18:06 -0000

Story time.

Back when I went to high school, the state I was in conducted a series of tests to quiz what kids were really learning in school. (They later eliminated these tests.) Once, there was a staff meeting to discuss these tests, and a man with 35+ years teaching decided to stand up after discussions had been offered, and gave his fellow faculty a little song:

I love ducks,
They quack and fly so high...
Quack, quack...
Fly High!

He then asked what that song meant to other teachers. The teachers responded, "Nothing." The senior teacher then said, "Yeah, well, that's what these damn tests mean to me! NOTHING!" The entire room lost it.

Why is this relevant? Tonight RC-Cola and the Canadian Club take on the Once Mighty Ducks. Since our skate-laden heroes don't play on Halloween (but the quack attack does against Phoenix) the sooner this game ends, the quicker our boys can be home safely for a Halloween that promises to be filled with candy and crazies.

PREDICTION: RC Cola loves California! Canucks win, 3-1.

--GoodKeith

Unofficial handshake post

GoodKeith — Tue, 12 May 2009 09:27:54 -0000

But... I had to chime in,

Great series, Blackhawks. Your youth did what our experience could not.

Your force took down our "home field advantage" and the only thing you did this series was to never give up.

You took what we had going in game four and, with 57:12 gone in the third period of game 4, took the momentum away from the Canucks and sent it straight down the "El Train" towards the Windy City.

You, Blackhawks fans and lovers of the focused, patient indian, you earned this series win. Now you all get to chill and watc on widescreens as your opponent is determined.

Maybe there was a lot of love lost during this series, maybe there was a lot of hair-pulling (literally) you couldn't let go of, maybe there were a few really strange calls. But, you, as a team, went through it and did what teams do: You conquered the obstacle as a team and emerged victorious.

Good luck agains tthe Red Wings OR THE Ducks in the Western Conference Finals. Though we as Canucks fans may not like you, we respect the hell out of you.

---GoodKeith

Game 4 pre-game pep talk

GoodKeith — Thu, 07 May 2009 06:16:08 -0000

Gentlemen --

It is no secret we have taken the upper hand in this war we wage against the proud warriors of Chicago. After leaving our home with a fair deal of vulnerability, an unsung hero has returned to guide us to the advantage we had when this battle was first waged, 1,890 miles away. Granted, we fight not for our lives, as some have done in the past. We fight not to defend our radical beliefs, as some have done in the past. We fight not to defend our nation, as some have done in the past.

We fight, gentlemen, to become immortalized in the history books -- to become engraved on hallowed soil. We fight so we may give our supporters a chance to feel their labor of love invested in us has been worthwhile.

Our supporters have been at our backs for years, through years when Vancouver was fighting defending an ocean that does not provide our water supply. They were at our backs when we surrendered battles to vastly superior opponents and surrendered battles to vastly inferior opponents. They have spent their hard earned coin on us so we may have facilities and amenities to prepare for battle. Without their support we would be in the same situation as our comrades from the desert -- only God and Bettman have any idea where their fate lies.

As to becoming engraved on hallowed soil, that is something our brigade of troops has never done. We have been closer in the past twice, but both times were denied immortality under Liberty's shadow. This time around we are not only armed with enough firepower to outshoot the ones out east they call Crosby and Ovechkin, we have a wall manning the goal that can halt the stiffest barrage we have in the west from players like Franzen, Hossa, Toews, Kane, and that bastard Pronger.

So now it is our turn tonight, in the center of the American republic, to do battle once more. We will either achieve great victory yet again or we will head back home with three chances to win two games. All I know is, gentlemen, nothing is going to be done unless you make it a priority to doing our brand of battle. Nothing shall be rendered unto you unless you realize it takes every piece of your learned wisdom from throughout the years to achieve success in this game. Every coach and mentor you have had believes in you.

And now, go out to battle and Pursue It. For the journey is long, hard, and scratchy -- but the reward is as sweet as you'll ever know. And yes, maybe your place in history will be marred by someone who thinks your name is spelled "Alexander" but their misfortune will make your legend grow for generations. Bring it in, Canucks.

--Keith

Off Topic: Canucks helping my recovery process

GoodKeith — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:03:59 -0000

Hey gang, I know I'm relatively new here but something pretty wild has happened recently.

I got hurt at work at 3 AM on Saturday, March 28. Knee popped out of where it was supposed to be for a second, hurt quite a bit, pulled a Sami Salo, you get the drift. It took me 45 minutes to get myself together and finally decide to "Do the right thing" and get a ride to the hospital. I was diagnosed with a knee strain and was told to take two to three days off. My time was filled reading about the Canucks successes and also loading up on Naproxen, my prescribed anti-inflammatory.

The day of April 1, 2009, I was still hurting quite a bit but decided to go to work at my job, which was and still is throwing freight at a shopping center. I didn't think my knee would hold out the four nights I was scheduled to work, but I had pills, bandages, and braces to get me through it. By the end of the week I was barely able to walk and actually picked up a set of crutches to hobble around on. Conversely, the Canucks that week had three very winnable games and only got one point out of it, so their division championship chances looked a LOT like my knee felt.

On Tuesday April 7, everything changed. That's the day I had my occupational therapist appointment (A full NINE days after the incident... really) and I was medically re-assigned to light duty (sampling product at the grocery end) but I was able to keep working and being productive. Also, the Canucks took on the Flames that night. Things looked splotchy for a while but the Canucks pulled it out and kept their division championship hopes alive.

As days went on I felt better, stronger, and have been getting good feedback from physical therapy. The Canucks, conversely, won their division and swept the Blues in the first round. Now the Canucks and I have something in common: We're both waiting to see what the next step is -- I go back to the doctor 4/27 at 10 AM, later that night both the Flames/Blackhawks and Ducks/Sharks play.

The wild thing about it is my life has mirrored the Canucks situation way too closely the last month. I have been a Canucks fan ever since I understood how awesome hockey was and the fact the Canucks were the only team within a reasonable distance of where I am. It's scary what this last month has been, but I am excited for the future.

Go Canucks go! Go, my knee, go!

Second round -- possible opponents

GoodKeith — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:18:31 -0000

Here's something I thought of doing while I wait for yet another physical therapy appointment... a little breakdown of who's next for the Canucks.

If the higher seeds win out (SJ def ANA, DET def CBJ) we get Detroit. The defending champs. Home ice falls to Detroit in this series, meaning the Canucks would have to win one time in the Octopus Tank. Not bad, considering the Canucks won a regular season game in Detroit and lost by one with Sanford in goal against -- you guessed it -- those Red Wings. Then again, the last meeting these two teams had was in 2008 and so much has changed since then. I don't have to say it, but this would be the toughest test for the Canucks -- trying to beat the champs when most of the games will be played out east.

If the Ducks beat the Sharks OR the Blue Jackets beat the Red Wings (hahahaha oh I am funny) the Canucks would face either Chicago or Calgary.

The Flames: Boooooooooooooooo. Canucks won the season series 4-2 against CGY -- with their only two losses having been when Sanford and Schneider were netminders -- and would have home-ice advantage. Considering Calgary's not solved Luongo this year, on paper this looks like the desired matchup. However, Calgary's probably going to play down and dirty hockey all series trying to prove Vancouver's soft. Rick Rypien has something to say about that.

Chicago: Vancouver split the series with the Blackhawks during the long march known as the regular season. Chicago is notable for having a hard-hat night on a night when Jonathan Toews scored a hat trick -- hilarity ensued. I see Chicago as a more skilled St. Louis -- lots of good building blocks that ARE there as opposed to being maybe a year or two away from being there. It'd be quite a tough battle, I am sure,

If all hell breaks loose (The Ducks beat the Sharks AND the Blue Jackets beat the Red Wings) the Canucks are the one seed and face... The Ducks! Vancouver has split the series with the Ducks but has not been able to solve them recently, as the last two meetings went beyond the 60 minutes of regulation (one L, one SO-L). My high school English teacher had a song about ducks that went like this:

"The Duck song"
I love Ducks...
They quack and fly so high...
Quack, quack, fly HIGH.

If this series were to get down hopefully the Sedins could blast some Ducks out of the sky with slap shots... however, since Columbus is woefully overmatched against Detroit, no more internet will be wasted on this matchup.

So many outcomes, so much to think about... hopefully the rest of the playoffs sorts itself out so there can be less time thinking and more time drinking... and watching the Canucks.

--GoodKeith

Round one -- Predictions

GoodKeith — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:19:02 -0000

Canucks win 4-1 -- Here's how they do it:

G1: The city of Vancouver is hyped for their first playoff series in two years. So hyped, in fact, all bars begin serving blue and green beer to everyone by law. St. Louis' players accidentally all decide to take the SkyTrain to GM Place in the first series and also miss their stop along the way. Exhausted by the cramped quarters of the SkyTrain, they finally make it to GM Place after being hassled about not having any tickets to give away by numerous people. Paul Kariya misses the first period but comes back in the second to no avail -- Nucks 5, Blues 1.

G2: Finally with team bus services intact, the Blues arrive at GM Place at their appointed hour only to be delayed by striking Aramark workers who are really looking to get their contract. Chris Pronger irritates everyone by bringing a Pizza into the game and proudly displaying it. That night at the pre-game skate about 150 people start chanting "Pizza Boy" at Pronger. Later that night at the game, another sell-out crowd picks it up. Pronger responds by challenging any Canuck to a fight and draws Rick Rypien. After Pronger gets an even bigger gap beaten into his teeth, the Blues lose again, 3-2 in OT.

G3: The series shifts to St. Louis, where people accidentally wear red to the Blues game because they just came out of the Cards game and didn't want to go home. Thin Lizzy plays a reunion show in the parking lot three hours before the puck is dropped where they play a re-mixed version of "The Boys are Back" but substitute the word boys with Blues. For. Three. Hours. The Sedin twins try to skate the St. Louis Arch but get tired halfway up and that affects their play in this game as the Blues win 3-1 -- all on power play goals.

G4: The Blues skate out to an early lead again in this game, but surrender the lead when Kesler scores a shorthanded goal from the opposite blue line to silence the crowd, who are still wearing red because they think it's a magical color and they just bought these nice new Cardinals shirts. Canucks go and upset the Blues on their home ice 4-2.

G5: The series shifts back to Vancouver where the atmosphere is so electric the team plane was able to land using only the energy made from the province cheering for their boys to come home. St. Louis returns to Vancouver only to find that a trail of blue and green beer has been lined, showing them the way to their hotel, where the help staff has decorated their rooms with a host of blue and green, replacing the pictures in every room with a picture of Luongo. When the St. Louis administration complains to hotel management, the managers reply with "And there's something wrong with that room decoration?" St. Louis spends all night refurbishing their own rooms and has a meltdown pre-game skate. Meanwhile Vancouver's focused and determined to end this series. Chris Simon gets four scored on him in the first period then cries during the second and third, asking when he can go home and tell his parents where it all went wrong. Canucks win going away, 6-1.

Feel free to contribute your playoff predictions!

--GoodKeith

Trap trap trap (The quest for one point)

GoodKeith — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 05:47:49 -0000

This is what it comes down to, Canucks fans: A noon-time date with destiny. Or, even, a lunch date with a real ugly chick. One chance to seize the northwest division once and for all after the Flames had their "insurmountable division lead," the first chance the Canucks had to clinch (CANUCKS AN INCH AWAY FROM CLI... nope), the game the flames had a chance to clinch (Where I still don't know how Roberto made some of those saves), and now we're here.

It's been a long season that began with a somber note and has hopes of ending with the greatest gift of all: Home ice. (Well, for the first round at least) A season which saw Roberto Luongo miss time with a non-contact injury only to see him come roaring back, answering the critics and asserting himself into the captain's seat.

A year of lutefisk, blue and yellow, ABBA and Mamma Mia.

And now, all the Canucks and their rabid fans need is one point against the Colorado Avalanche. Just get to overtime and you've got your title.

Destiny is something few can control. Don't lose your grasp on this, Canucks.

I live and work in the state of Washington and today, while working an eight-hour shift, I saw more people in Canucks logowear than in Seattle Mariners clothing.

They know something special's about to happen. Tomorrow begins the first step.

--GoodKeith

Race for the Northwest Division

GoodKeith — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 06:20:30 -0000

Vancouver's schedule: 6 games left (4 home/2 road/1 back-to-back), two against the Avs.
4/2 ANA, 4/4 @EDM, 4/5 COL, 4/7 CGY, 4/9 LA, 4/11 @COL

Calgary's schedule: 6 games left (2 home/4 road/3 back-to-back), two against the Oilers.
4/2 @DAL, 4/3 @MIN, 4/6 LA, 4/7 @VAN, 4/10 @EDM, 4/11 EDM

We all know the most important game on the schedule is Flames @ Canucks. That's pretty much a four-point swing. (Two if it rolls into overtime)

Canucks have a one-point advantage over the Flames. Flames play pretty much the opposite schedule of the Canucks... Canucks get to sleep in their own beds for the majority of the rest of the season... I'm thinking there's some good to come out of these remaining two weeks of the season. Can one team get to 100 points? Could both teams?

Lots of questions... Hopefully the blue and green hockey machine gives us some good answers. A lot of Canucks fans are looking for a banner this year to raise to the roof at GM Place... a Division champions banner is a great place to start.

Feb. 11th -- Blazers/Thunder -- Field guide for lifelong Sonics fans?

GoodKeith — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:14:10 -0000

Hey gang, it's GoodKeith, whom you may remember from the day the Sonics left Seattle. 200 comments? I'm still amazed. Anyway I am more than likely coming to Portland for a little anger management at the expense of the Thunder and wanted to know a couple things...

1) Where's a good spot to eat before the game? I know about one thing about Portland from going there so infrequently, and that thing is it's a short distance from the Train Station to the Rose Garden. (Also no sales tax) With that in mind...

2) If for some reason I cannot get tickets (or a ticket, solo traveler) to this game, where's a great spot to watch the game? Sure it won't be the same but the beer will cost a lot less.

Common sense dictates I check back in closer to the actual game time but I myself am super busy (graveyard shift job, very involved during off-hours with basketball in and around my area) so I try to get as much information as I can where and when I can.

Oh, and I still don't really have an NBA team to follow, can you suggest one...?

--Keith