I made it to the Rays Pirates yesterday and they brought this guy up in the latter part of the game. I couldnt hear the announcer since that stadium has only one speaker or something like that. No name on the jersey, and I couldn't make his number out. Anyways the scoreboard said #99 WHAMMYYY or something like that. Was this some sort of rib? Later I deduced it was Tyler Bortnick, as he was the only 0-1 on the game. Also, the game ended on a spectacular e-5 which was a bummer but it was still a hell of a game, and zobrist's shot had to have been almost 4 and a half bills.

Anyways whats the deal with Bortnick? Was that a rib?  (We are all out of Bort license plates BTW)

Bring on Friday, I am  going to be one of the first motherfuckers in the parking lot. BATDAD HO!

I blame Crawford & every greedy azz player in the league who takes the money and runs . Excuse me but explain to m how $10 MIL. a year isn't " enough "

http://www.tampabay.com/sports/baseball/rays/article1139176.ece

Tampa Bay "fan": This is you, this is how dumb you sound. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nm5jl7aM08

I wish CC all the best of luck in his future endeavors. And will personally laugh my ass off watching him play jai alai off that fucking wall. They backed the brinks truck up to him! He isn't made of stone! In the meantime, Maddumb and $tu will once again construct a golem out of the free agent dumpsters, rookies, and indentured servants like 3, and we will continue to surprise the baseball world, the so called "city fathers" up in Bristol, CT will stroke their beards, cluck their tongues, and ask "What's to be done about this Tampa Bay team?"

screw flanders.

screw work. im stuck in stupid depositions all day about stupid people doing stupid things and i get so frustrated and angry and rage at the world until i just wish flanders was dead.  there is no pitcher except dave and his fastball is his prophet. davidhu akhbar. price is the light. 

 screw flanders screw flanders death to yankees death to phillies soriano is great screw flanders screw flanders screw flanders texas steers queeers r lee ermey rules screw flanders screw flanders

so i had to stop by the  us attorneys office to see a guy about a horse. on the way i listen to the ron and ian spergefest about longo and attendance. i raged a little and said fuck it, we will like clinch tonight and bought an outfield ticket.
 i want to troll the crap out of longo and price short of getting thrown out or arrested. i was thinking of a hilariously poorly crafted sign with pictures of longo and price with big red words like two bad players a la homer simpson or something. anyways give me ideas i typed this witth my thumbs on my droid it wont do upper case or punctuation much so eat me also screw flanders

A: Pat Burrell

Reminder that Pat Burrell costs more than our entire starting rotation and is the most expensive piece of handleless luggage south of the Mason Dixon line. David Ortiz being the most expensive overall.You'd think Louis Vuittion would have included at least something for the rest of this team to carry this sack of monkey crap.

FIRE BURRELL! Clapclapclapclapclap

Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders

This game owns. IT OWNS. Post your IDS and such so we can beat each other silly online.

Me: DELAUGHTERC (I suck on ice so you can pad wins against me)

Also we can spread draysbay and VOPB love online.

I dont know if we still need to sweat word counts but i used to love doing this:

SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS

I propose a new Sabremetric: Value Over Pat Burrell. This statistic would assign a utilitarian value over paying 9 million dollars to a guy who bats worse than people missing limbs and chromosomes. The utilitarian value would be completely arbitrary and impossible to compare making it  better than most stats reported on this site. Some examples might be:

1. Getting kicked in the nuts, shattering a testicle - VOPB - 2.0 - This particular injury will garner you the sympathy of the male members of the human species, and sympathy and perhaps curiosity from females, thus resulting in a net value over the substantial pain and medical cost of treatment for this type of injury. This of course yields 2 utilitarian units more than paying that useless sack of crap Pat Burrell 9 million dollars to stand there and watch strikes pass him by while dreaming of the time he banged britney spears.

2. Losing a winning lottery ticket - (less than 9 million in value) - 1.0 - Believe it or not it is actually 1 utilitarian point better to lose a winning lottery ticket than to pay 9 million for Pat Burrell to imitiate a tball player at the plate. You know you actually won something of value when you determined the ticket to be a winner. Friedman believed he was getting something of value when he signed Pat Burrell, but we all know that has been a gigantic waste of time. Sure the dejection of knowing you've misplaced the ticket hurts, but you only suffer it once while Rays fan must watch this human excrement at least 3 times a night, on average 5 times a week for the next 6 months.

3. Giving your life savings to Bernie Maddoff  - 3.2 - You will net 3.2 utilitarian points more in life by giving everything you have to Bernie Maddoff instead of paying a baseball parasite like Pat Burrell 9 million dollars to pick his nose like a drooling mongoloid at the plate. Again, the reasoning is similar to losing the lottery ticket. You've given the money to Bernie Maddoff on the promise he would make you rich, and then watched in silent disgust as he was sent to die in prison. That money is long gone and you know it. Pat Burrell, however, will continue to remind you how much you wasted on his ridiculous contract for the remainder of the season, while you simultaneously worry  how you will keep  Carl Crawford, whose VOPB cannot be measured due to the assymptotic nature of such a graph.

This post sure sounded funnier in my head and I will likely come across better when i call rich herrera to remind him of this new sabremetric after every subsequent game. But keep in mind reading crappy posts on the internet is substantially better than paying 9 million for pat burrell to collect dust at the plate because at least reading posts takes effort, which Pat Burrell hasn't shown in about 16 months.

Long and Short of it: Navi used to be relatively awesome. Now he's a fat blob of not hitting. I used to be awesome, now I'm a fat blob period. SO! The question is presented: who will improve more by the end of the season? Will I be able to lose more weight than Navi gains in BA percentage? Numbers, rewards, punishments and more after the jump

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MY QUESTION:

WHAT pray tell has COME OF our blessed FIRST AMENDMENT???

MY OPINION:

YOU CANNOT handle what I have to SAY! MY OPINIONS may be my own but they SPEAK OF THE TRUTH. Like RON PAUL, I am here to DELIVER THE PURESTRAIN GOLD. You can listen and comment civilly, but you choose not to. WHY???

Men of true OPINION aren't afriad to SAY what they FEEL. Yet cowards who HIDE behind Keyboards think they know it all??? They Sling their arrows of lulz WHICH AS WE ALL KNOW is a corruption of LOL.

QUESTION 2: WHY DO YOU PERVERT THAT WHICH IS PRECIOUS AND PURE SUCH AS LOL TO THE KIDS???

At some point you will come to know a TRUE TEDDY LONG STYLE PLAYA like me has his FINGERS on the pulse of the Tampa Bay Sports arena?? Then you will respect me and my opinions and KNOW that I AM RIGHT.

Until then I will go back to my home and have sex with my girlfriend multiple times because that shit is SO CASH and you losers behind your keyboards can all choke on MY AWESOMENESS!

The UnKnown DurfHuRfeR?

And now for some basic hard truths from your ol pal HAHAHAH OH WOW:

1. Troy Percival shall forever in my posts be referred to as "Multiple gunshot wounds to the lead."

2. Troy Percival has somehow managed to fall even lower down the respect ladder. He is now officially worse than:

a.  A kick in the groin

b. Pancreatic Cancer

c.Having your clutch go out on your car while on the Howard Franklin on your way to a Rays game where Percy is not available and earned leads are statistically more safe.

d. The Economy

e. Octomom

f. Joe Maddon's various and sundry missions

g. Niemann's fastballs

h. 1997 Edwin Jackson

i. The Bubonic Plague

j. Ishtar the movie.

I think that pretty much covers most of what this man is worse than. Thank God this toxic asset's contract is up this year and he can go far away from any lead. He was a great man in his heyday and he helped us out last year, but considering how high expectations are this year, and how our record has been going, putting this man in with anything less than a 4 run lead is Deer Huntert Russian Roullette with 5 bullets and nicky already survived round one. Do you hear that Joe? DITCH PERCY! DIDI MAU! DIDI MAU! DIDI MAU! *slaps face*

UNTIL NEXT HURF 

THE SPORTS DURF

get your own website

sincerely

HAHAHA Number one the scapegoat.

THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS

Click here for info

Just putting up a reminder that this is going to be free, and players will be there, and it should be a lot of fun.

ST. PETERSBURG, FL -- The Tampa Bay Rays 2009 Fan Fest, presented by MetroPCS, will be held Saturday, February 14 at Tropicana Field. The event is also sponsored by Southern Chevy Dealers, Sweetbay Supermarket and Bright House Sports Network.

Fan Fest hours will be 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. for the general public. Admission and parking are free to this fun-filled event.

A $10 donation to the Rays Baseball Foundation will allow fans the opportunity to get autographs from Rays players and coaches throughout the day. Autographs for kids 14 and under and season ticket holders are free with a wristband. Season ticket holders will also have the opportunity to have their photograph taken with a Rays player.

"Gee it looks a lot like your posts, HAHAHA OH WOW"

Ok first post accuracy out of the way, a guy I went to high school with, who has parlayed being a journalism nerd in high school to a radio job and someone with substantial political standings, who lives in Florida and is a Mets fan (but has been for a long time, since before the Rays existed) stated this on his facebook:

I realize this will be met with boos and hisses by most of you, so just hear me out. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE TAMPA BAY WIN THIS WORLD SERIES. Period.

Let’s get past the obvious: the “feel good” story, the young kids upstaging the crusty veterans, the whole “worst-to-first” melodrama, the dropping of the word “Devil” in the year they suddenly play well. It all might make for a nice Disney movie. I just don’t want to see it play out on baseball’s biggest stage. Not when there are multiple other franchises out there committed to winning that deserved it more.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays (I will always call them the Devil Rays just because I don’t like the coincidence of what is happening this year) were born 10 years ago and for the last 9 of those, have redefined the word “suck”. While their in-state rivals the Marlins bought and sold their way to two World Series titles in that time, while the Arizona Diamondbacks (who were born the same year as Tampa Bay) won a World Series a mere four years after joining the Major leagues, the Rays toiled away in the basement of the American League East, showing no desire to make changes via free agency. Even today their 2008 payroll is the second-lowest in all of baseball (since 2002, Tampa Bay has either been last or second-to-last every year in annual payroll).

Not that money should be all that matters. Certainly a case can be made that teams like the Yankees, Red Sox, and yes, even my beloved Mets, are doing baseball no justice by spending 100-200 million per year on a team. At the same time, I have little use for teams that purposely lose year after year, stockpile top draft picks, never look to improve their team via free agency and then magically: the young players start performing and they make it to the World Series!

The fact is this team should have been contracted and forced out of baseball years ago. The commissioner was openly talking of doing just that before the players union went ape and the league relented. The Rays had abysmal attendance, a stadium that looks like an underground nuclear facility and were content to sit back and do nothing about the bad product they were putting on the field. While middle-market teams like Cleveland, Houston, Colorado, even bad teams like Seattle and Texas try (yet usually fail) to put a competitive team on the field each year, the Devil Rays could not have cared less.

In the current collective bargaining agreement, big market teams like the aforementioned Mets, Yankees, and Red Sox are subsidizing small market teams like the Rays, Royals and Twins. Yet still, even despite it, the Rays have shown no willingness to take the bail out money they receive from Baseball’s titans and invest it into their payroll. See the 2005 season as Exhibit A in this case: the Devil Rays received over $30 million in revenue sharing money from the big guys that year, yet their 2005 payroll was only $29 million, which means the ownership didn’t spend a single dime of its OWN money on its OWN the entire season. The luxury tax and revenue sharing rules in baseball are socialistic to say the least. Barack Obama must love this collective bargaining agreement, by the way. I however, do not.

The Mets won’t be playing in the World Series this year. Neither will the Yankees, Tigers or Red Sox. The top four payrolls in baseball. And while they shouldn’t get a free pass into the playoffs and World Series simply because of money, it’s ashame to see the exact opposite happen: watching a team that entered the year with no reason to believe it would finish with more than its typical 65 wins (and the payroll/competitive spirit consistent with a 65 win season) take center stage in October.

Sure it may come off considerably jealous for me to write this, and to that I can offer only little resistance. I am jealous. Jealous because my team tries to win every year, not just when all the draft picks finally make it to the big leagues. Yet here we sit watching the Devil Rays make World Series preparations at Tropicana Field while my stadium is having the seats ripped from it so it can be bulldozed to make way for a new stadium.

Tampa Bay for 9 years has been the epitome of anti-competitive and now those years of malaise are being rewarded with a shot at baseball supremacy (and likely a victory, I should add). And it’s just wrong. Taking the Mets out of it, simply as a fan of The Game, this is why I cannot root for Tampa Bay in this World Series.

Now I’ll duck as you throw beer bottles at me…

_____________________________________________

This man has a college education and is well versed on a lot of things BUT DAMN YOUSE DUMB. I may not have all the sabermetrics and statistical chops as RJ and the Lord Protectors of this site, but Christ even I was able to dice his argument apart. WE DIDNT SPEND THE MONEY BECAUSE PRACTICALLY ALL OUR TALENT WAS DEVELOPED FROM OUR FARM SYSTEM!!! We got some sweet ass trading done and having the number one pick so many times helped, but shit man this guy needs to get his glasses checked once he's done giving himself a colorectal exam.

thanks to gomessweetgomes for the ticket opportunity at the right price.

I got to the park around 3:45 to tailgate with friends, drank a ton of beer ate a lot and sauntered into my right field seat. I had no idea what was in store for me.

Right field was dominated by Rays fans of course, and when the home runs started pouring, it was so loud I could barely hear myself yell. When they played Seven Nation Army the trop turned into a nightclub. From innings 3-7 it was just insane. Then we settled in for the long haul and thats when Red Sox fan struck.

At least 4 Red Sox guys around me started fights and got tossed, and a few Rays fans as well. The Sox fans in front of me were kindly old ladies who acted just fine, but I wouldnt have been surprised if beer bottles started to get tossed around. Thank god for the plastic ones.

The game wore on into the wee hours of the morning. People started to head for the exists out of exhaustion, and I ran out of voice. You all know how it turned out. I wish the win would have come in a dramatic fashion like a double over the heads of the shallow outfielders or even a walk off homer. Funny enough one of the guys who ditched the game around 12:30 or so spent 3/4 of the game bitching about navi not bunting in game 1 to which i said "Go get doc brown and 1.21 jiggawatts and do something about it" and then he got mad because Joe pulled pitchers who were frankly not doing so well. he would have left kaz in and was afraid when Price started warming up the first, second, and third time. He said Joe "overmanaged" the game. Wonder what he would have said about pinch running Fernando Perez which ultimately led us to a win.

Anyways my opinion was that was the most exciting and epic game of baseball I have ever seen, it was an awesome night at the trop, and frankly that game should be on ESPN classic in the near future, because that has to  be one of the most insane postseason games ever.

TL;DR Had fun screw sox Sox Fans

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http://tampabay.rays.mlb.com/tb/ticketing/ps_tickets.jsp

I dont know if they check your email before you try, but this is on the site. May or may not work but i figured might as well put it here and pray for rain.

Screw Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHWScrew Flanders Screw CHWScrew Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHWScrew Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHW Screw Flanders Screw CHW

I got a response from the Rays' attorney today about the idea of a booster club. Someone's already started it. The response is short, but it reads:

9-25

Christopher:

     There is a fan's booster type club being formed that we are working with called the clutch hitters. I have passed your letter along to the group's organizers. Once they have an application form prepared I will make sure one gets sent to you. Thanks for your support.

John Higgins (Esq - he is the registered agent for the rays)

So. Looks like whatever I thought of someone else already thought of but thats ok nothing is new in the world. However, once I get this application from them I will fill you all in on it. That is all

Christopher HAHAHA OH WOW

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((thanx to Luigi13 for making this available as my camera sux))

((All percy dolls should be given the ET video game treatment or launched into the sun with Percy himself PLEASE PERMABAN YOURSELF NOW FROM MLB PERCY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD CHILDREN ARE WATCHING))

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Sure it sounds high school or college-y, but a thought about how to do our part next season, by forming a booster club to benefit Rays baseball. Adults willing to put in time and a little money after work to promote the team, and organize trips to the stadium, and generally hype up the team to ensure the 09 season has asses in seats.

What do you think about doing such a thing? I'm sure that if fans took the initiative to organize on their own and reach some grassroots success, we could get some help from the team in organizing promotions and make it succeed. I just basically want to do everything humanly possible to make sure next year we help put this "Rays 'fans' dont show up" issue to bed.

What say you?