SB Nation User Blog: HAHAHA OH WOW

STUPID BABIES NEED THE MOST ATTENTION (i blame the beer)

HAHAHA OH WOW — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:54:09 -0000

STUPID BABIES NEED THE MOST ATTENTION
(i blame the beer)

He is always watching.

HAHAHA OH WOW — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:53:14 -0000

He is always watching.

FLY FATASS FLY: A Navi related weight loss challenge

HAHAHA OH WOW — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:56:57 -0000

Long and Short of it: Navi used to be relatively awesome. Now he's a fat blob of not hitting. I used to be awesome, now I'm a fat blob period. SO! The question is presented: who will improve more by the end of the season? Will I be able to lose more weight than Navi gains in BA percentage? Numbers, rewards, punishments and more after the jump

SO Fatass, Navicopter, Rally Killer, after nearly being run out of town in 2007, turned in an all star 2008, upping his career BA to .256. This year he is turning in .211, on par with his 07, run-me-out-of-town-on-a-dessert-cart style batting average. This means he is 45 points under average.

Where does yours truly fit in? Well Navi and I share something in common: hundreds of thousands of fat baseball dollars? No. Hundreds of pounds of fat and a love of all things steak/beer/churro/chicken wing? Absolutely. I managed to balloon up to a ponderous 340 pounds last year and have shaved 40 or so off my 6'2 frame. I have a long way to go to get back to awesome. But I was thinking, how can I track my progress versus another relative failure? Ah Navi if the fat fits you must acquit.

So the challenge is afoot: Will I lose more weight than Navi hopefully regresses to his career average by the end of the regular season? A worthwhile challenge. If I win, I get this much closer to being insurable without gigantic megapremiums. And maybe someone might give a shit and reward me with something at the very least i'll keep track in this thread and people might laugh with pictures, graphs, or something. Who knows? Maybe Navi will actually get better and put me to the test. 45 pounds in 4 months is doable just as .045 increase in BA is also doable. Look at Upton (PBUH).

If I lose, if somehow Navi goes 2nd half 07 apeshit or I just camp out at crazy buffet every week for the next several months, i'll have to do something horribly embarassing. i was contemplating buying a navarro t shirt or jersey and make a video of myself singing "Youre the top" pantsless a la Hawkeye to Honeycutt in that prank episode of MASH and uploading it to youtube. Maybe navi himself might find out about this and laugh. Or not. Maybe the Draysbay community could come up with a collective punishment or something.

Either way the only rule is that nobody outs me for who I am in real life if for some reason they know, unless I somehow do it myself. (GomesSweetGomes being the only draysbayer i met irl)

Go ahead and think of some collective punishments. I will post a photo of my fat ass on a scale tonight. Navi, you're on the fat clock!

PS if he gets dealt this season (unlikely) this is still on. If he's injured and out for the season we may have to come up with a kazmir era related dare as well.

HAHAHA OH WOW.

Am I not Human, prick me, do I not bleed? Do I not Hurf Durf?

HAHAHA OH WOW — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:17:50 -0000

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MY QUESTION:

WHAT pray tell has COME OF our blessed FIRST AMENDMENT???

MY OPINION:

YOU CANNOT handle what I have to SAY! MY OPINIONS may be my own but they SPEAK OF THE TRUTH. Like RON PAUL, I am here to DELIVER THE PURESTRAIN GOLD. You can listen and comment civilly, but you choose not to. WHY???

Men of true OPINION aren't afriad to SAY what they FEEL. Yet cowards who HIDE behind Keyboards think they know it all??? They Sling their arrows of lulz WHICH AS WE ALL KNOW is a corruption of LOL.

QUESTION 2: WHY DO YOU PERVERT THAT WHICH IS PRECIOUS AND PURE SUCH AS LOL TO THE KIDS???

At some point you will come to know a TRUE TEDDY LONG STYLE PLAYA like me has his FINGERS on the pulse of the Tampa Bay Sports arena?? Then you will respect me and my opinions and KNOW that I AM RIGHT.

Until then I will go back to my home and have sex with my girlfriend multiple times because that shit is SO CASH and you losers behind your keyboards can all choke on MY AWESOMENESS!

The UnKnown DurfHuRfeR?

The following things are better than troy percival:

HAHAHA OH WOW — Thu, 14 May 2009 13:25:24 -0000

And now for some basic hard truths from your ol pal HAHAHAH OH WOW:

1. Troy Percival shall forever in my posts be referred to as "Multiple gunshot wounds to the lead."

2. Troy Percival has somehow managed to fall even lower down the respect ladder. He is now officially worse than:

a. A kick in the groin

b. Pancreatic Cancer

c.Having your clutch go out on your car while on the Howard Franklin on your way to a Rays game where Percy is not available and earned leads are statistically more safe.

d. The Economy

e. Octomom

f. Joe Maddon's various and sundry missions

g. Niemann's fastballs

h. 1997 Edwin Jackson

i. The Bubonic Plague

j. Ishtar the movie.

I think that pretty much covers most of what this man is worse than. Thank God this toxic asset's contract is up this year and he can go far away from any lead. He was a great man in his heyday and he helped us out last year, but considering how high expectations are this year, and how our record has been going, putting this man in with anything less than a 4 run lead is Deer Huntert Russian Roullette with 5 bullets and nicky already survived round one. Do you hear that Joe? DITCH PERCY! DIDI MAU! DIDI MAU! DIDI MAU! *slaps face*

GIMMICK POSTERS BURN IN HELL

HAHAHA OH WOW — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:27:06 -0000

UNTIL NEXT HURF

THE SPORTS DURF

get your own website

sincerely

HAHAHA Number one the scapegoat.

THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS THE TIME IS NOW MADDON SCREW FLANDERS

Rays Fan Fest 2-14 Who's going?

HAHAHA OH WOW — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:13:04 -0000

Click here for info

Just putting up a reminder that this is going to be free, and players will be there, and it should be a lot of fun.

ST. PETERSBURG, FL -- The Tampa Bay Rays 2009 Fan Fest, presented by MetroPCS, will be held Saturday, February 14 at Tropicana Field. The event is also sponsored by Southern Chevy Dealers, Sweetbay Supermarket and Bright House Sports Network.

Fan Fest hours will be 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. for the general public. Admission and parking are free to this fun-filled event.

A $10 donation to the Rays Baseball Foundation will allow fans the opportunity to get autographs from Rays players and coaches throughout the day. Autographs for kids 14 and under and season ticket holders are free with a wristband. Season ticket holders will also have the opportunity to have their photograph taken with a Rays player.

This is what stupid looks like

HAHAHA OH WOW — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:37:04 -0000

"Gee it looks a lot like your posts, HAHAHA OH WOW"

Ok first post accuracy out of the way, a guy I went to high school with, who has parlayed being a journalism nerd in high school to a radio job and someone with substantial political standings, who lives in Florida and is a Mets fan (but has been for a long time, since before the Rays existed) stated this on his facebook:

Why I'm rooting against the Devil Rays Today at 10:26am

I realize this will be met with boos and hisses by most of you, so just hear me out. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE TAMPA BAY WIN THIS WORLD SERIES. Period.

Let’s get past the obvious: the “feel good” story, the young kids upstaging the crusty veterans, the whole “worst-to-first” melodrama, the dropping of the word “Devil” in the year they suddenly play well. It all might make for a nice Disney movie. I just don’t want to see it play out on baseball’s biggest stage. Not when there are multiple other franchises out there committed to winning that deserved it more.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays (I will always call them the Devil Rays just because I don’t like the coincidence of what is happening this year) were born 10 years ago and for the last 9 of those, have redefined the word “suck”. While their in-state rivals the Marlins bought and sold their way to two World Series titles in that time, while the Arizona Diamondbacks (who were born the same year as Tampa Bay) won a World Series a mere four years after joining the Major leagues, the Rays toiled away in the basement of the American League East, showing no desire to make changes via free agency. Even today their 2008 payroll is the second-lowest in all of baseball (since 2002, Tampa Bay has either been last or second-to-last every year in annual payroll).

Not that money should be all that matters. Certainly a case can be made that teams like the Yankees, Red Sox, and yes, even my beloved Mets, are doing baseball no justice by spending 100-200 million per year on a team. At the same time, I have little use for teams that purposely lose year after year, stockpile top draft picks, never look to improve their team via free agency and then magically: the young players start performing and they make it to the World Series!

The fact is this team should have been contracted and forced out of baseball years ago. The commissioner was openly talking of doing just that before the players union went ape and the league relented. The Rays had abysmal attendance, a stadium that looks like an underground nuclear facility and were content to sit back and do nothing about the bad product they were putting on the field. While middle-market teams like Cleveland, Houston, Colorado, even bad teams like Seattle and Texas try (yet usually fail) to put a competitive team on the field each year, the Devil Rays could not have cared less.

In the current collective bargaining agreement, big market teams like the aforementioned Mets, Yankees, and Red Sox are subsidizing small market teams like the Rays, Royals and Twins. Yet still, even despite it, the Rays have shown no willingness to take the bail out money they receive from Baseball’s titans and invest it into their payroll. See the 2005 season as Exhibit A in this case: the Devil Rays received over $30 million in revenue sharing money from the big guys that year, yet their 2005 payroll was only $29 million, which means the ownership didn’t spend a single dime of its OWN money on its OWN the entire season. The luxury tax and revenue sharing rules in baseball are socialistic to say the least. Barack Obama must love this collective bargaining agreement, by the way. I however, do not.

The Mets won’t be playing in the World Series this year. Neither will the Yankees, Tigers or Red Sox. The top four payrolls in baseball. And while they shouldn’t get a free pass into the playoffs and World Series simply because of money, it’s ashame to see the exact opposite happen: watching a team that entered the year with no reason to believe it would finish with more than its typical 65 wins (and the payroll/competitive spirit consistent with a 65 win season) take center stage in October.

Sure it may come off considerably jealous for me to write this, and to that I can offer only little resistance. I am jealous. Jealous because my team tries to win every year, not just when all the draft picks finally make it to the big leagues. Yet here we sit watching the Devil Rays make World Series preparations at Tropicana Field while my stadium is having the seats ripped from it so it can be bulldozed to make way for a new stadium.

Tampa Bay for 9 years has been the epitome of anti-competitive and now those years of malaise are being rewarded with a shot at baseball supremacy (and likely a victory, I should add). And it’s just wrong. Taking the Mets out of it, simply as a fan of The Game, this is why I cannot root for Tampa Bay in this World Series.

Now I’ll duck as you throw beer bottles at me…

_____________________________________________

This man has a college education and is well versed on a lot of things BUT DAMN YOUSE DUMB. I may not have all the sabermetrics and statistical chops as RJ and the Lord Protectors of this site, but Christ even I was able to dice his argument apart. WE DIDNT SPEND THE MONEY BECAUSE PRACTICALLY ALL OUR TALENT WAS DEVELOPED FROM OUR FARM SYSTEM!!! We got some sweet ass trading done and having the number one pick so many times helped, but shit man this guy needs to get his glasses checked once he's done giving himself a colorectal exam.

Game 2 trip report

HAHAHA OH WOW — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 06:35:13 -0000

thanks to gomessweetgomes for the ticket opportunity at the right price.

I got to the park around 3:45 to tailgate with friends, drank a ton of beer ate a lot and sauntered into my right field seat. I had no idea what was in store for me.

Right field was dominated by Rays fans of course, and when the home runs started pouring, it was so loud I could barely hear myself yell. When they played Seven Nation Army the trop turned into a nightclub. From innings 3-7 it was just insane. Then we settled in for the long haul and thats when Red Sox fan struck.

At least 4 Red Sox guys around me started fights and got tossed, and a few Rays fans as well. The Sox fans in front of me were kindly old ladies who acted just fine, but I wouldnt have been surprised if beer bottles started to get tossed around. Thank god for the plastic ones.

The game wore on into the wee hours of the morning. People started to head for the exists out of exhaustion, and I ran out of voice. You all know how it turned out. I wish the win would have come in a dramatic fashion like a double over the heads of the shallow outfielders or even a walk off homer. Funny enough one of the guys who ditched the game around 12:30 or so spent 3/4 of the game bitching about navi not bunting in game 1 to which i said "Go get doc brown and 1.21 jiggawatts and do something about it" and then he got mad because Joe pulled pitchers who were frankly not doing so well. he would have left kaz in and was afraid when Price started warming up the first, second, and third time. He said Joe "overmanaged" the game. Wonder what he would have said about pinch running Fernando Perez which ultimately led us to a win.

Anyways my opinion was that was the most exciting and epic game of baseball I have ever seen, it was an awesome night at the trop, and frankly that game should be on ESPN classic in the near future, because that has to be one of the most insane postseason games ever.

TL;DR Had fun screw sox Sox Fans

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On an unrelated note, George Brett shits himself at least twice a year.

HAHAHA OH WOW — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:52:38 -0000

On an unrelated note, George Brett shits himself at least twice a year.