SB Nation User Blog: HIV 2 Elway

Chiefs Scout Oregon at Arizona

HIV 2 Elway — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:14:12 -0000

From the FanPosts. You got a link for this breaking news story? -Chris

~~First of all, big “up yours” to Primetime for not putting this on the front page and relegating such breaking news to the lowly Fan Posts.~~

According to my inside sources the Chiefs will have scouts at this weekend’s colossal Oregon Ducks vs Arizona Wildcats game in beautiful Tucson, Arizona. But who will the scouts be scouting? This game, and this conference, is bursting at the seams with NFL talent. As few of you know the best football is played out west. They don’t call it the Conference of Champions for nothing.

This game will feature some money o-linemen and some worthy defenders, but for now lets focus on the skill players.

Ed Dickson – TE – Oregon – 6’5” – 245 lbs

I say “God damn!” This is one fine tight end. How fitting would it be to use the pick we got for Tony G to take the next great TE out of the Pac-10? Dickson is a first round talent projected to go in the second and would look great in red.

LaMichael James – RB – Oregon – 5’9” – 180 lbs

Think Jamal Charles, except good, and has actually played against legit college defenses. No disrespect to the Big 12 but I’m not taking Baylor’s, Texas Tech’s, Okie State’s, A&M’s, Kansas’s, Missoura’s, fuck any of their defenses seriously. Okay, that is disrespect.

Rob Gronkowski – TE – Arizona – 6’6” – 265lbs

See Ed Dickson. Growkowski is a beast of a man. An injury has kept him sidelined all season which may drop him in the draft. Widely considered the best TE in the country before his untimely injury.

Nic Grigsby – RB – Arizona – 5’10” – 190 lbs

Over 1100 yards and 13 TD’s last year. Minor injuries have slowed him down in 2009 but he’d still be a great replacement for the void LJ left.

So, who do you want to see in red next year?

Fudge Berman

HIV 2 Elway — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:09:43 -0000

Fudge Berman

If this asshole sat behind me there'd be hell to pay...

"Chief's season ticket holder here. I've had the same family of meat gazers behind me for 15 years. If actually paying to watch the Chiefs wasn't bad enough, this year one of the college aged kids behind me has decided that he is going to try his hand at Berman's shtick, ALL FUCKING GAME. I'm talking all the "whoops" the "tic tic tic tic tics" the never funny nicknames. Any advice on dealing with this? Arrowhead does have one of those anonymous fan narc lines."

Jesus, that's awful. I'd sell my tickets. You're not gonna miss anything the next three years anyway. Go home. Listen to Kid A. Fingerbang your own butt in the shower. Anything else is an improvement.

Who's Missing Out on the Playoffs?

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:20:22 -0000

Okay sports fans, it's time for a quick preseason bet before the action starts tonight. Some of you meat gazers have chimed in on this already but lets give it one more go so the picks are better documented. This bet started as a drunken argument in one of Boston’s more douchetastic bars. “I’ll bet you $100 you can’t pick 6 NFL teams that won’t make the playoffs.” It’s a legit bet given the NFL lauds itself on its parody.

Since we’re all just fake friends around here and there is little chance of one ever collecting from another (except you Shuffle, my boy Sanchez is about to ball and I will hunt you down for what’s mine), we won’t actually be betting on this. That said lets take it a step further and pick 7 teams that won’t make the playoffs. Winner takes nothing.

Who are your 7 teams missing the playoffs?

Spiderman MJ Memorial???

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:30:19 -0000

Spiderman MJ Memorial???

I Towelie's voice..."I don't even know whats going on."

Any Freaks Going to Opening Day?

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:21:54 -0000

I know, I know, it’s a football blog, baseball is boring, they play too many games, steroids and the Yankees are ruining the game, blah blah blah. Forget that, most of us are fans of all Kansas City teams. That said…

Any other Arrowhead Pride freaks going to be out at the K tomorrow? If so there are beers to drink, blunts to smoke, and sluts to pound. Your humble narrator will be out there around noon and drunk by 2. If any of you want to meet up, get in touch, either through the comments or drop a line at youreabumherm@gmail.com

Congratulations mooseface79!

HIV 2 Elway — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:43:48 -0000

Everyone please join me in a big round of applause for the 2009 AP NCAA tournament pool winner mooseface79. Mooseface put us all to shame by correctly picking 46 of 63 games (73% accuracy). Old Moose correctly picked all 4 Final Four teams, 6 of the Elite Eight, and 10 of the Sweet Sixteen. To top it off, Moose had cock washing Roy cutting down the nets. What does such an incredible game picking prowess win Moose? A victory lap. Take it away Moose…

AP NCAA Tourney Pool

HIV 2 Elway — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:12:46 -0000

Ok Sports Fans, brackets are out. Arizona keeps the streak alive for the 25th year, BEAR DOWN! Lets get in on the action. An Arrowhead Pride pool has been set up through Yahoo. All you meat gazers need to sign up and fill out a bracket. Make sure you use your AP user handle as your bracket name so we can tell who's who, and while we're at who's your hoops squad?

Or use the following:

Group ID#: 72238
Password: cassel

Clark Hunt Conference Call

HIV 2 Elway — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:27:26 -0000

I probably shouldn't be telling all you mad dogs about this since its intended for REAL Kansas City Chiefs fans like myself, but there is a conference call with Clark Hunt tonight. He is going to be explaining what he has planned and fielding questions from season ticket holders.

The call is from 5-6pm. If you want to listen in the number is - 1-877-269-7289. The pin number is - 13692.

I'll be stuck in my soul sucking contracts course tonight so I'll need some of you meat gazers to take notes for the rest of us.

Chiefs Haiku

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:41:09 -0000

Alright sportsfans, we've had tons of posts about who the Cheifs should or shoudn't draft. It's Friday and many of us are counting down the hours, or in my case ripping the spiders out from under my skin, until we punsh the shit out of our livers. Lets spice it up and see how creative you knobs can be with some KC haikus.

I'll kick it off...

Night can’t get any worse

Trendy KC bars are lame

LJ spits on you

End of an era

Hy-Vee, big baller in town

So long Chiefs and Chopper

Hi may I help you?

Short end and frys to stay, please

God bless Ollie Gates

Rey Rey or Curry

Linebacker or O-lineman

Just don’t draft Stafford

When will this day end?

Heavy sweating, shaky hands

I’d kill for a drink

The Case For Willie Tuitama

HIV 2 Elway — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:28:15 -0000

Everybody wants a QB. I'm of the belief that its not the QB position that is holding this team back, rather its the O-line, D-line, and LB's. Well, and the lack of a competent head coach.

Still, we'll need to bring in one and probably two QB's next year either through the draft or free agency. Much of the talk will be centered around Bradford (meh) and Stafford (gag). I think the Chiefs need to look elswhere to address their QB needs, specifically, they need to look at Willie Tutiama.

Looking at the basics...

Bradford - 6'4" 218 lbs and a 2 year starter. In 2008 he tossed 48 TD’s to 6 INT’s and had a completion percentage of 68.3%.

Stafford - 6'3" 237 lbs and a 3 year starter. 22 TD’s to 9 INT’s with a completion percentage of 61.1% in 2008.

Tuitama - 6'3" 220 lbs and a 4 year starter. Finished 2008 with 23 TD’s to 8 INT’s with a completion percentage of 64.9%.

Equally important, is the fact that Willie has gone through a rebuilding process. When Tuitama took over the reigns, Arizona was outright horrible. Over his 4 years he helped the team mature into the Las Vegas Bowl winning powerhouse it currently is.

Most enticing, is the pick it would take to get him. He's easily a 5th or 6th rounder. Address our real needs on day one, get a proven QB on day two.

I'm all for giving Thiggy another year at this and would like to see that happen without the added pressure of having a high round pick waiting in the shadows. Tuitama has spent 4 years under center in the demanding Pac-10, he wouldn't cost us a high draft pick, he has a similar build to this years top prospects, and he has proven that he can help rebuild shitty teams. He's worth a long look come April.