SB Nation User Blog: Henry Miller's Used Penis

Detriot Getting FUCKED Hard and Blackhawks dodge a Bullet

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:47:12 -0000

Detriot land of the $5,000 home and Chicago fucks up paper work and gets their players back anyway.

Well I couldn't help notice Chicago didn't get hurt too badly by their situation. But they will need to trade sometime next season to make a little room to lock up their main stays.

More importantly Detriot's falling apart literally and the Wings players are finally looking to cash in and move out. Yest another Detriot Deadthing has left the team for some money. http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=284076 That's another big story breaking by TSN. At least we know the Wings will be well, what will they be? Who's going to be in net next season? Osbad? Ha. They're big parts are getting old and their defense is leaving as well as forwards now. Suddenly Detriot is becoming more and more beatable.

Not that Hudler was what the Wings depended on but they definitely liked having Samuelson gone, and Hossa gone. It could easily be said that new Blues goaltender Conklin kept them afloat in the regular season when Osbad couldn't stop a beachball.

Blackhawks Really Fuck Up

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:50:36 -0000

Yeah apparently getting ready to over pay Hossa they decided to save money and use stamps.

And thus they are saying their qualifying offer sheets to all their RFAs were post marked on time. Well the NHLPA and NHL are investigating the matter according to TSN.Ca. The end result looks like Versteeg, Barker et all will be deemed free agents. How sweet would it be to get Barker from Chicago onto the Blues blueline?

Check out the story on tsn.ca it's pretty fucking hilarious what Chicago GM Tallon has to say.

So the asking Price for Harding

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:18:45 -0000

And why I'm scratching my head.

Apparently a big part of the asking price for Harding was an established NHL forward.

According to the Post's JR:

"Mark: JR, just how close were the Blues to getting Harding from Minnesota? If the Wild were asking for too much in return, I'm glad the Blues didn't go with that option but just what was it the Wild were asking for? Perron? Eller? More than that? Any idea what the Blues were countering with? Jeremy Rutherford:
Minnesota starter Niklas Backstrom is coming off offseason surgery, and so the Wild weren't crazy about the idea of dealing Harding. Reports in Minnesota suggested that if the Wild traded Harding, they were looking for an "established NHL forward" not a prospect or draft pick. The Blues then decided to go the free-agent route."

So does this mean the Blues could have traded Boyes for Harding? If that's the case then it should have been done, done and done. Or could they have moved Kariya for Harding? Even quicker would be my done. Opens up a spot for one of the youngsters, opens up the bank for a free agent signing.

Why wouldn't the Blues consider this? I don't get it. Instead we are going into the season with basically two solid back ups. Maybe Mason can figure out how to be a starter all by himself heading into the season. It didn't work in Nashville as you'll recall (and hasn't for that club the last two seasons).

Man, I'm a bit afraid here.

Jarmo the Magician

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 17:33:37 -0000

Once again another draft weekend has occurred meaning free agency and prospects camp isn't far behind.

Finally we come into the draft with a huge prospect pool...mostly at forward. There is some balance mixed with in and some real high potential types on the blue line. But we really are lacking on the defensive side of things as we move forward and project. Then you have to balance the money issues the future WILL bring and you realize it tends to take longer to develop a solid blue liner. That is why I liked the Blues choices in the draft. I will say I still wish we could have snagged Jordan Schroeder as well. There were thoughts of Kassin but his habit of disappearing on some nights reminds me of Tkachoke.

Anyway, I wanted to recognize what Jarmo had to say in the paper on Sunday concerning the draft,

"I look at the (Central Scouting) rankings obviously," Kekalainen said. "They put a lot of time into their work, but we're employed by the Blues to make our own list. We can't change our list based on what somebody else has. We look at it, we respect it, but we make our own decisions."

and the even more impressive:

"If you can get a fraction of (Boston's) Zdeno Chara, that's upside," Kekalainen said. "That's what we try to aim at, rather than somebody that's average across the board. I'd much rather take a chance at something than just go for safe or average. You can pick up average players from the waivers."

That last quote, that's what I want to hear. I don't want to see a bunch of fucking Hinote (s) and crap scrap who can work hard and that's pretty much it. I want to see a chances being taken. I want to see a Henrik Zetterberg in the Blues future, someone some team that's sucking later can complain that the Blues fucking picked that guy in the seventh round and look at that shitbag we drafted in the first round that year...I mean I hear the guy's bagging groceries somewhere now and they picked that guy in the seventh and the fucking bastards won the Cup yet again.

I want to know the Blues aren't just satisfied with the safe play. I know that in life if you want to do something big you have to take risks, you have to fail and above all pick yourself up learn from the mistake and try it again.

BTW the seventh round pick, I like that kid. He could be our Zetterberg.

An answer to the Perron Theory

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:10:05 -0000

Well there's no way in hell that kid should ever be traded. Nor Oshie. But when it comes to Berglund I think he might just be at his most valuable as an asset at this moment. I heard so much about him. But there are some things the kid needs to work on in order to become the stud he is touted to becoming:

1)He needs to add some strength. His wirey frame is just a horse cock hair away from where he needs it to be to dominate down low and continue to get those reverse shots.

2) He wore out through the season.

3)He needs a real coach to know how to properly motivate him and give him appropriate ice time.

4) He needs to be more American in his approach to the game. That means shedding the fruity Euro spirit and cash in on some big hits.

5) Lastly, I'd like to think he could find another gear. I think he needs to improve on the explosiveness of his stride. If his skating improves, he learns to use his frame more(he didn't a solid job of it last year), and he becomes stronger then He goes untouchable. But being he's a Euro there's no guarentee.

Perron and Oshie work hard off the ice. Perron can take his game to a hgiher level and show a good work ethic. Now it's time for ramping up the consistency. It's not as bad as the Green Goblin claims but it's still a bit of an issue.

Now maybe these younger guys who look more like leaders can rub off a little more on the Donut King and idiot sports writers can attribute their sucess once again to a fat lazy sow who was taught in the twilight of his career how to be a team player by kids who were born just a few years before he entered the league.

Satan on waivers

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 23:29:16 -0000

Not the beast but the fruity Euro who can score some. Being as the Blues could use a little extra offensive help and Satan is a free agent at the end of the season would it hurt to pick him up to add some offense?

It could. He's plus three which is not normal for a veteran forward on the Blues. He has 17G and like 36pts which is like Tkachuk land scoring at less than the Walt price. Could help out the Blues or give Murray another excuse to place talented scoring rookies on the fourth line. At least it woul be someone capable of scoring a goal and shit.

In seriousness this might not be a bad idea. Adds a bit of depth though nothing that is terribly impressive on a day to day consistency. But on some nights it'd seem ridiculous to think this guy was a freebie. The best part is he doesn't cost you anything but some dollars. Unless of course the Blues are going to bring somebody in on a trade. Lastly, he might feel he has something to prove, like he'd be worth a decent contract in the off season. Then after the season we can waive good bye. So he's a rental, the best kind a cash rental.

What say you?

I say Go for It!!

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:42:04 -0000

And why not see if there is a way to pick up Kovalchuk? Now that's aplyer worth some prospects and picks. Hit up Pronger as well. I love Boyes and he's at a decent price but would you move him for Ilya? Something I was contemplating in my mind and so wondered what anybody else thought.

Of course I'm liking the chemistry but I definitely see there'sa couple of needs the Blues have. And I belive it has to be balanced with the youth coming. But Ily's young and great. A true sniper. Man that'd be awesome of course depending on the price.

Ol' Strick hinted at Petro for Pronger type of deal. It made me sick to my stomach. But it also makes me wonder if there was something about him the Blues saw and did not like at all. I think it has to do with his physicallity and ability to take a hit as well as give one. I'm just trying to read minds here. I love Petro and want to him in a Blue note growing up here. I'd rather move Cole. Time will tell.

Remember I'm just thinking about things. I'm excited. I am NOT one for trading the future away. But the Blues don't see things the way I do and we will not see four lines capable of scoring here. Murray likes only two lines a "checking" line and an energy line. I'm more of a three lines that can score one not reliant on grit and grit mixed in down the lines and a checking line that can create offense. The checking line that can creat--to me I'd say think Jay McClement. That's what I have always advocated a fourth liner should be like. Not going to necessairly score but creates chances and is defensively responsible. Of course you need some bigger guys who are tough as well.

Interested in thoughts on any of the shit I just spluttered.

Anyone interested in playing hockey on Saturday?

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:34:47 -0000

Especially you Brian. My buddy has ice time this Saturday night at Cahokia. It's sort of like being able to play outside on a pond but since the ponds and lakes never freeze long enough here anymore...

It's at 9:45PM and runs an hour and a half. It's a good time and a lot of fun. Let me know on a post here if anyone is insterested and I'll figure a way to get into contact with you. The cost is $10-15 depending on the number of people.

Right now there still seven spots open. Let me know so I can make it happen if you are interested.

Maybe a Player that Could be had for Tkachoke

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:55:26 -0000

Looking all around at possible places the fat one could end up. Boston seems likely since it will require the 4th most paid player in NHL history. Yeah that's correct. Never broke a hundred points and has never won a ring or for that matter many post-season games he still manages to come up big on pay day.

I did however find one possible spot he could end up if he'd agree--that is FLorida. The FLA bitches. And we Matthias. The highly touted but so far much disappointing youngster from Florida who is -28 in the AHL thanks to the quality goaltending of the hyphenator who has been sent down to the ECHL.

Otherwise there are some interesting canidates in Boston but there's no way we could believe Tkachuk has that much value to Boston to forgo say Raask, even if we packaged them soemthing? Doubtful still. Two players struck my interest in their prospect pool but still doubt they'd be allowed to leave. I pondered Washington as well and came up with a few but again highly unlikely.

I don't see too many Western teams vying for Tkachuk. Though I could see Minnesota take that shot as they could have him play limited five on five duty but desperately use his help on the power play.

Then again there's whipsers that Tkachuk may just be kept for the run. Which as you all know will sadden me till the day he is no longer a Blue. Could you imagine this guy having his number retired next to the likes of Hull or Big AL? I mean seriously? Is this a possibility? In today's world futility has often rewarded, though griped about but continually rewarded nonetheless.

Love to know how you see it. I understand he's been servicable this season. But at $4 million has he been worth it, especially when you consider how much he has been paid to play in St. Louis?

Probably should have just done this but here's a bit of an update about Prospects

Henry Miller's Used Penis — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 22:44:04 -0000

Good to know that the defensmen’s numbers are all up this season. Berglund specifiacally showing some great growth as he netted more points in the SEL than Eller. Eller’s point production was a bit disappointing. But there is not a hard fast formula to figure out how that will effect a player’s production in the NHL with better talent and a smaller ice surface. You can almost bet a point per player in that league will score at least a have a point per game in the NHL but other than that you can’t tell.

So feeling a bit down by that and recalling that Eller said something about two years in Sweden was how Zetterberg did it I decided to scope out his stats. Surprise his stats were actually similiar to Eller’s own stats. The first two seasons in the NHL Zetterberg’s numbers were not impressive. But it should be noted he wasn’t heavily relied on back then and also the NHL was different game at the time. So all in all I think Eller’s first season in North America should be interesting as hell.

From all the stats that I looked at the only two downers I noticed(not counting goaltenders because who the fuck knows what can get into their heads and all), the only two players without increases in production were Eller and Livingstone(I did not count or research Peoria players). Livingstone’s stats are nearly identical and I did not look too closely at things like how his team was fairing. I noticed coincidently that often times how a team was doing in the standings correlated to production and in those lowly leagues that usually meant more talent on a team, which isn’t very socking.

One of the big kids I have a hard-on for(and that’s not a gay hard-on god damn ti!), was Ian Schultz. His production is up in the less flamboyant and more defensive/pretty much all brawl that is the WHL. Good to know. Because so far most of the big scorers on the horizon seem to be six-feet and under coming our way.

What looks to be the future is a team in Peoria that will dominate and be full of talent. Making winning a habit throughout the Blues organization. I hope the Blues trust do not decide to use this as a means of simply unloading young potential for veterans that help a team for the short run. The kind of talent coming our way is the kind that feeds itself and when developed could be like parts to machine helping to keep the budget balanced in a cap league. Also it’s the kind of depth that allows assured real talents rising from within. Which means you’re pretty much going to see some rising stars out of this group. Then you’ll also see players who when an injury occurs be replaced by someone exciting and not some journey-man struggling to hold on.

Of course the Blues could attempt to find goaltending using some of this talent as bait. But Mason playing the way he has might offer the Blues time to finally figure out how to draft a goaltender and develop him which is literally becoming like a lottery that must be won and more and more tickets are being bought in an attempt to finally be vindicated by chance and a new elite netminder.

Other than that I was curious if any of our Swedish fans could tell if the SEL season was over yet. And if it is why don’t the Blues fly Eller over and either get him some work down in the A or trade Tkafatass and fill in Eller.