ARRRRRRRGH, indeed. As I said in January, the Blazers can't shoot, Ray Felton is fat, Lamarcus is soft (on his teammates), Gerald is an inefficient offensive player, the Blazers are horrible at executing fast breaks, Jamal is a chucker, the Blazer bench can't play D, Felton's best wasn't really worth getting excited over in the first place, Nic isn't the "answer" (and is still just a good role player), and the Blazers are terrible at the draft. Sometimes, I hate being right.

There was reason to be optimistic at the time. Namely: the Blazer record. They were scoring more points than the other team. How did that happen? Why is the current team so inept by comparison? Did the rest of the league warm up? Is it as simple as Camby, Wallace, and Wes being very solid early but since running out of juice? Did Nate lose these guys?

Me? I just think this is a poorly constructed team. No play-making. Little ball handling. Even less passing. We went from Miller and Roy to...well...Ray Felton in a down year and Jamal Crawford setting others up. That's a bad recipe. I'm pretty sure, regardless of the rest of the ingredients, that such a recipe will only yield a droopy poop pot pie. Here's to poop pot pie. Here's to the Blazers, 2011/2012. They blew teams away. Then they just blew.

What were your early predictions? How are they lookin' now? Let us read em' and weep, literally.

It's that time. That time of year when season ticket holders start reminding us, in pretty much every thread, that they are, indeed season ticket holders. By choice. Their choice. That if the team doesn't do _________ or fire ________, they will be changing their season ticket holder status on Facebook to "formerly". It's that time when "last straw" quotes mingle with "I can't take any more of this" grumblings from beleaguered fans. Basically, it's that time of the year when those of us following one of the several teams who had entered the season with some form of hope, be it realistic or no, face the cold reality of watching their guys fumble for the exit, leaving us with neither playoff series to root upon, or high lottery pick to pray over. In short, it sucks to be us this year. We're not that good. We're not that bad either. Certainly not bad enough to get us all excited over ping pong balls swimming in a tank. We know it. One by one we realize it. We just don't recognize the feeling. We're the Blazers. We always make the playoffs! We have risen. Or something.

Yes, it sucks to be us, but in my opinion we have nothing to complain about. Not this season. Let's revue: we lost our hall-of-fame guy. The heart of the franchise. The man who returned respectability to our city. He walked away from the game, apparently, and hasn't set foot near the Rose Garden since. That's very sad. That's very painful. We would be forgiven if we grieved, just for that alone. Then we can talk about Greg Oden. The hope that was hoped upon too many times to count. Hey, that's sad too, especially for him. Being injured sucks. The dude has literally spent most of his adult life rehabbing from injuries. I don't care how many channels your TV has. That's not fun. Plus, we all know the quality that exists on cable TV. How many times can you watch cheaply shot emo vampire movies? Not to mention all of the commercials. Bad commercials. But I digress.

The point is, management of this last Blazer era went for it. They spent the money. They chose great talent with 75% of their high lottery picks. They whiffed in terms of health, but who could have predicted it? There really isn't any person to blame for this run of bad luck. This season would have looked different had things not gone so, so wrong.

On the other hand, things played out much better than you might realize. Consider Brandon's retirement. Well, it's much better than he championing on, playing limited minutes, unable to change pace, and essentially being the most expensive, cap-devouring backup two guard in the league. For several seasons. Greg? Well, perhaps its a good turn in fortunes for the Blazers to finally be out from under the weight of his contract, and the coming massive free agent deal he was likely to command. In short, both of those events have given us fans what we REALLY need:

A fresh start. The end of the Frailblazer era. That's what this season is. A painful turn of the page. But even then, management tried to bring in solid veteran pieces to win with. They dreamt of a duo of Felton/Oden opening the floor for our all star stud to flourish. They swung one last time and whiffed, but they left intact, in the expiring contracts of Camby, Felton, Crawford, and Wallace (likely) the chance for us fans to finally grieve the death of our team. Hell, after what we've 'been through', we deserve it. A fresh start.

So fear not. Threat not. I'm not saying watch the games or anything. Eww; THAT is some bad basketball to behold...

Let's just give ourselves a chance to renew our hope for not next season, but for the next Blazer era to come. Besides, we'll always have Nic and Elliot. So let us not make the passing of this era more painful than it needs to be. Let the screamers scream. Let the blow hards blow. But we true fans understand how this all went down. We understand that our management, while far from perfect, had a solid plan in place and it just all went up in smoke. It sucks, but that's the business of the business.

1: The Blazers suck at shooting the basketball. Mike and Mike continue to soldier on with the good message "and that was a good shot. They just need to start falling." No. Gerald Wallace is not a good 3 point shooter. Wide open or no, that is NOT a "good" shot. A "good" shot is one that has a solid mathematical probability of going in.

2: Ray Felton is fat. Look at his mid section. Quicky, speedy guards should not have Shaq-styled guts. He is overweight for a guard with his strengths and that's that. He makes 6 million a year. He can afford a proper diet.

3. Lamarcus is soft. Soft on his teammates. It's great that Larmarcus wants everyone to get along, but a real team leader isn't afraid to say the unpopular thing. That thing would be: "hey. Jamal. Ray. Stop setting yourself up and pass me the &$*#*#ing ball!". Period. Make or miss, you live with Lamarcus. You don't live with a below average NBA point guard setting them self up though.

4. Gerald Wallace is not an "efficient" offensive player. His touch around the rim is average and his shooting highly suspect. He's made some great shots. He's missed a lot more though.

5. The Blazers are terrible in the fast break. Yes. The assets are there. The athleticism. The will to get to the rim. The ball handling and finishing is not though. It's like watching the General Lee without tires. Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ahhh. Turnover or missed layup. But it was such a good shot! They just need to go in. Sure. Let's keep telling ourselves that.

6. Jamal Crawford is a chucker. Yes. I admit it! I had high hopes. It's almost better that he miss his first shot, because at that point he'll be interested in setting guys up. If he makes his first two shots he'll never pass again. That's bad if you're Michael Jordan in your prime, infinitely worse if you're a journeyman 6th man who couldn't D up PetCo's girlfriend. She might shoot a higher percentage too. Ouch.

7. The Blazer bench sucks at defense. Watch them. Open shot. Layin. Open shot. Layin. It's like watching a summer league game.

8. Ray Felton's ceiling was barely enough to get excited about. Yes. We got a little carried away. He's fast! Look! He's not slow! Great. That's just great. Problem: the rest of his game.

9. Nic is not the answer. No role player is. This team needs much, much more than it currently has on it's roster or "stashed" overseas, although current players playing better, and a certain PF/C healing up and coming over the Atlantic ocean would certainly help.

10. The Blazers suck at the draft. Blame Nate. Go ahead. Nate started Nic though. Nate actually gave J Bay some run. The fact is, 100% of the time, Nate has been right in assigning expectations to players. I know. You're smart. You know stats. So-and-so was GREAT against Wichita State. Nice. You make a great case! I'm still sticking with Nate on this one though: our extended bench sucks. KP got us NOTHING with 10-or-so late first round picks. Pretty weak.

Well, well, well. What a strange season this should prove to be. The Spurs were the class of the regular season, but got gutted in the playoffs. The Mavs were unstoppable, but they lost Chandler and Berea, while gaining Odom. The Thunder are who we thought they were, a team on the rise, but are they the team to beat yet? The L*kers? Bah. They still have Kobe and Pau though. Those are good players.

Dark horses? Certainly the Blazers, Grizz, and Clippers can't be fully counted out. What about the rest of the Blazers' division? Are Denver and Utah too far into rebuilding mode to concentrate on winning games?

Call your shot, and even rank the west, with win seeds and win totals, if you dare.

Poll

Who wins the West?

12%

Mavs

36 votes

49%

Thunder

139 votes

0%

Spurs

2 votes

1%

Lakers

5 votes

31%

Blazers

89 votes

1%

Grizzlies

5 votes

2%

Clippers

6 votes

0%

Other - please explain in comments

1 votes

283 votes | Poll has closed

Ladies and gentlemen, we have lift off. Or, in Brandon Roy and Greg Oden's cases, we have movement. That's right. That's right, again! NBA is back. The thrills. The chills. And that's just the MAX ride to the arena! Speaking of MAX, Brandon's deal is too big for a non-superstar, but everyone's favorite Muppet, Larry Miller, clearly indicated that he will not be amnestied. This proves, once and for all, that Twitter runs the world. It also proves that Brandon will be the biggest underdog story on the team this season. "Not so fast!", you say? You think there's an even BIGGER underdog story on this roster? Do tell!

Poll

This season's biggest Blazer underdog story is obviously:

11%

B Roy - Twitter will NOT be televised, but Brandon will.

44 votes

22%

Greg Oden - Many a poster on BEdge said he was "done". They weren't wrong. Yet.

87 votes

2%

Wesley - Now with 20% more dribbling skills!

10 votes

7%

Gerald Wallace - Remember? Our second best player? Hello? Is this thing on?

28 votes

0%

Camby - Back to stave off fan outrage at his run-in with the law. You don't care? Oh. Ok. Well then maybe he'll just play the whole season. You wouldn't see THAT one coming, would you?

2 votes

7%

Lamarcus - ALL STAR. Last season was no fluke and he'll show it.

28 votes

9%

Luke Babbitt - Spot minutes as a sweet shooting 3/4 or Idaho Stampede Player of the Year?

38 votes

2%

Armon - Pac Man machine fixed! He now goes right. Pinky will be your worst nightmare no more!

11 votes

9%

Elliot Williams - You know. That guy that jumped out of his knees? Yes. He's a rookie. Again.

37 votes

7%

Nic! Nico! Scottie Pippen! Point Guard! Two Guard! Whatever. Let's see him do something consistently, already.

29 votes

4%

Nolan Smith - Certainly, Duke is Duke, and they're on TV more than Justin Bieber. Reruns.

17 votes

5%

Raymond Felton - How did he end up this far down the list?! Guys! He can shoot! He tore up the Carolina Pro Am. He can throw lobs too! Nate is going to let him run, you just wait. Guys? Guys?

20 votes

3%

Chris Johnson - He moves like a gazelle. Unfortunately, he fish-hooks like a whimp. Let's see if he can learn to lay a proper lick.

15 votes

0%

Blaze - Disrespected more than Morrissey. He is hated for loving. Loving to entertain everyone!

3 votes

3%

Coach Nate - He won't get any respect around here until he wins a first round series. Good luck with that...

12 votes

0%

_______________________________ (please explain in comments)

3 votes

384 votes | Poll has closed

Well, excellent Blazer fans and NBA enthusiasts alike, it looks like we may be coming down the home stretch of the drama that is--and hopefully soon to be "was"--the 2011 NBA Lockout. The owners. Stern. The players. Billy Hunter. Sad tweets from Derek Fisher--even more sad than his perimeter defense in the 2011 postseason (shudder shudder). Kato. The glove that seemingly didn't fit the...OOPS...Sorry. Wrong drama. But you get the point. Let's just hope for a verdict soon. We will FINALLY be able to say, "gentlemen, play ball." Meanwhile,

Poll

What will you miss about the NBA Lockout?

6%

Learning about cap structure and mathematics from Storyteller.

6 votes

12%

Hipster's populist rants about economic justice.

11 votes

22%

Dave's lists of things to keep us interested and not at each other's throats (too much).

20 votes

19%

Sad pictures of Derek Fisher looking like Berea just zipped by him in the lobby to get to the coffee first.

17 votes

8%

Pictures of Stern looking determined and 'shocked' that the players havn't caved in yet.

8 votes

5%

National media with daily coverage regarding how much "little has happened".

5 votes

6%

Angry posts from fans comparing the players to themselves and their own jobs.

6 votes

1%

Angry posts from fans comparing the owners to themselves and their own investments.

1 votes

1%

Angry posts from fans comparing the NBA to the NFL.

1 votes

7%

Other (please explain in comment section, thanks)

7 votes

7%

All of the above.

7 votes

89 votes | Poll has closed

The owners insist the league is in a financial crisis. They insist that they are "losing" millions. Here's the problem with their assessment. The players know the league is a great commodity. It finally had a noteworthy increase in revenue last season! The players understand that teams will encounter cost issues during a recession, but will likely increase in value, especially after the next TV deal. The players do not get a cent of the earnings when an owner sells a team, but they are now expected to help said owner recover short term losses, on some economic principle. Ridiculous.

Basically, the owners want to address the issue of short term losses by paying the players less when they SHOULD be using a combination of salaries (the players have already offered to come down several % points) and wholesale profit sharing models to create a more stable league. The fact is, competitive balance has never been the issue here. Neither has profit sharing. The owners have no creative ideas. They're not interested in 'bargaining'. They say they're 'losing' money, but--I'm sorry--a record breaking purchase of a team doesn't exactly back up their claim. What do you think?

Poll

NBA Cares

66%

about money.

76 votes

7%

about $tability.

8 votes

4%

about competitive balance.

5 votes

16%

about destroying the good will of its fans.

19 votes

5%

(other - please explain in comments).

6 votes

114 votes | Poll has closed

Assuming there IS a 2011/2012 season, Blazers' marketing is going to be charged with an interesting task: promoting a team that has likely reached its potential to a fan base coming back to earth after hoisting HUGE expectations for several seasons. You can't "Rise" with this group anymore. In fact, perhaps "Hangin' Tuff" is this squad's motto: it's difficult to see them get past the first round, but you certainly can't count a Nate team out. Regardless, some interesting stories still abound with this group. Which angle do YOU think best embodies the pride of the city and is most likely to win over the hearts of the fans? Do tell:

Poll

Which player(s) should Blazers marketing emphasize in the 2011/2012 campaign?

62%

Lamarcus All*star*dridge!

121 votes

3%

B Roy - Don't call it comeback! Underdog with something to prove.

6 votes

2%

Greg Oden - I GOT NEXT (again).

5 votes

8%

Wesley Matthews - "I wake up to motivation."

16 votes

6%

Crash - "Can I get a headbang? medele medele!"

12 votes

5%

LMA/Roy/GO - "Rise from the dead with us!"

11 votes

3%

The young guys: Batum/Wesley/Patty/Nolan - Fun for the fans!

7 votes

0%

Star players on the OTHER teams. Let's face it, this team is going nowhere.

0 votes

1%

Raymond "St. Cupcake" Felton - A food dude in a food town.

2 votes

4%

Luke Babbitt - Stop. Dougie time!

8 votes

1%

Other (please explain in comment section)

2 votes

2%

Marcus Camby - "We're playing harder than ever as a TOKEn of thanks to your great patience during the lockout."

4 votes

194 votes | Poll has closed

Everyone handles grief differently. Some of us are stoic. Some of us wear our emotions on our sleeves, which is kind of gross, especially if you use your sleeve to wipe your nose after weeping over the coming pending wait they made progress psych!  NBA season. Any-who. I figured I'd take a second to make a stupid poll so we Blazer fans, who are truly a pretty sweet batch of human beings-if I do say so myself-can huddle together for a sec, have a group hug, and hopefully laugh this off a bit.

After all, the league will return. The players will still be making buckets, and hopefully the smaller franchises will be better off. If that's what this is all REALLY about, I can live with the consequences. Can you?

Poll

How bad is it, really?

7%

Oh, it hurts. It's like my spouse or partner or dog left me.

11 votes

17%

It's rather like being kicked in the groin. 41+ times. Spread out over 8 months.

26 votes

9%

Every day I wake up and check Derek Fisher's Tweets. Nothing yet. Ho hum.

14 votes

10%

I just spent three hours attempting to hack a feed to the lockout league. It's THAT bad...

16 votes

16%

Meh. I'm ok with it as long as it makes the league stronger and more balanced.

24 votes

8%

Mm? Mmmgh? M-surry. I've-a-had-a-few-beerssss.

12 votes

15%

This all helps Luke Babbitt. You just wait.

23 votes

6%

Honestly, I don't care. I already sold my season tickets. I don't even know why I'm reading this silly poll, actually.

10 votes

6%

Lockout? LOCKOUT?! WHAAAAAT?!? Just kidding. Yeah. It's irritating, right?

10 votes

146 votes | Poll has closed

The only logical reasons to reject a perfectly bounced Steve Nash trade is his reportedly declining health due to age and back fatigue, as well his inability to play good D. Let's take a look at Hollinger's stats for Steve last season:

RK	PLAYER	GP	MPG	TS%	AST	TO	USG	ORR	DRR	REBR	PER	VA	EWA
22	Steve Nash, PHX	75	33.3	.601	41.9	13.0	23.0	1.8	10.2	6.0	20.81	365.5	12.2

 

For an 'old dude' that is supposedly breaking down, Nash sure overachieved by Blazer standards. 75 games? 33.3 minutes? Those aren't the numbers of a guy on his last legs. I think a lot of people see Nash stretching and laying on his back on the baseline and are immediately reminded of their great-uncle with the trick knee and lumbar issues, when they SHOULD be reminded of Sting or Madonna--or some other celebrity who still "has game" and is aging gracefully in accordance to their particular line of being a bad-ass. Note: I'm not saying Madonna can sing. Nash isn't your lovable old feline laying on the floor with the puddle of drool and the bent ribs--he's a hip cat with an enlarged health streak. Two more years of his current production seems logical.

Anyways, 14.7 points and 11.4 dimes a game are Nash-like numbers, although he could easily score more considering how pure his stroke from distance is. His D is, obviously, the big red flag: A little guard who only averages .6 steals a game isn't pressuring anyone. He's a competitor though. We've seen him guard Nicolas. We recently saw Dallas turn Miami into a fourth quarter jump shooting team with excellent post D and a team concept on the perimeter. They hid Terry and Berea, who himself was able to overcome his size issues with scrappyness, a trait Steve Nash has in spades. All-in-all, Nash is a minus on D, but that's why you have Nate as a coach and Wesley and Wallace on the perimeter--they can do the heavy lifting on D while Nash runs the team.

Most importantly though, Nash fits this roster on offense much better than Dre does. He can run pick-and-rolls, as well as iso-oriented sets, either with or without the ball. From the perimeter he can straight light it up, as well as create his own mid-range jump shot if plays break down. He is one of the best guards in the open floor. Oh, he's also one of the best free throw shooters in history. He's old for a point guard, but Nash, given his experience--and experience wins--is still better than Steph Curry during this next 2 year window. If the Blazers are truly going for a title, he is not only a great fit--he is possibly THE best fit for turning a predictable, oft offensively inept Blazer team into a legitimate contender for the cup--err--trophy. Sorry, got a little Canadian there for a sec...

The two primary factors in making this deal productive are what you have to give to obtain him, and whether or not the Blazers can still acquire a backup PG: Patty is Patty, and Armon will be too busy asking for Steve's autograph to play basketball.

Poll

Steve Nash:

54%

Yes.

51 votes

23%

No.

22 votes

16%

Shut up.

15 votes

5%

(other)

5 votes

93 votes | Poll has closed

In honor of NBA PG great, Marc Jackson being hired as Golden State's next head coach (really--congrats, Marc!), I now devote this poll to the things Jackson is fond of saying during every broadcast he appears on. Although he is a hard-nose player from New York, Jackson often sounds like a cheesy volunteer at a youth basketball camp. I love the guy and all but...dude...enough of the gimmicky tag-lines, already!

Poll

Which of these Marc Jackson trademark tag-lines will you miss least next season?

32%

You know the rules: hand down--man down!

50 votes

62%

Momma, there goes that man!

97 votes

4%

(other)

7 votes

154 votes | Poll has closed

Here are the projected #15-#27 players to be selected in the DraftExpress 2011 Mock Draft. Assuming the Blazers don't trade the pick, they will be selecting #21. Who should the Blazers prioritize and why? Is there a player here you think the Blazers should trade up to acquire? If so, who is it and what do you think such a deal should look like? Considering the Blazer assets, it seems there are some definite possibilities here. Is there a player or two worth fussing over, or should the team keep their pick, hope for the best, and try and acquire further help via trade or free agency?

Poll

Who should the Blazers pick?

9%

15 - Jimmer Fredette PG

26 votes

0%

16 - Markieff Morris PF

2 votes

6%

17 - Donatas Motiejunas PF/C

17 votes

0%

18 - Tobias Harris SF/PF

1 votes

1%

19 - Chris Singleton SF

5 votes

61%

20 - Kenneth Faried PF

161 votes

6%

21 - Nikola Vucevic PF/C

16 votes

0%

22 - Iman Shumpert PG/SG

2 votes

0%

23 - Tyler Honeycutt SF

0 votes

1%

24 - Kyle Singler SF/PF

4 votes

3%

25 - Marshon Brooks SG

8 votes

3%

26 - Lucas Nogueira C

8 votes

1%

27 - Josh Selby SG

4 votes

2%

Other - __________________________

7 votes

261 votes | Poll has closed

Plus, what are you willing to give up to secure their services?

Although the Blazers have a fine PG in Andre Miller, it seems there is room on the roster for a  PG who is more dangerous from outside. Perhaps such a player would play better alongside B Roy (oh, the same old song, I know--but sometimes odies ring ever true) in the second unit. Perhaps said player could assist the Blazer perimeter D (like Armon would) without turning the ball over constantly (like Armon seemingly would). Who do you like and why?

Poll

Pick your fav PG and explain why the Blazers should target them via trade:

9%

Beno Udrih - dude can shoot

30 votes

9%

Kirk Hinrich - after all, why not?

28 votes

29%

Raymond Felton - the best backup out there?

91 votes

10%

Ramon Sessions - he's pretty good, right?

33 votes

3%

Jonny Flynn - how is he better than Armon?

12 votes

11%

Luke Ridnour - makes sense, doesn't it?

35 votes

10%

Devin Harris - oh, you thought the rumors were over?

32 votes

14%

(other) - please explain

44 votes

305 votes | Poll has closed

Although the Blazers have some nice players, I don't think they have a tremendous amount of assets to work with in making the team better this off season. Will Cho have the fire power he needs to get the speed, rebounding, size, and shooting (is that all? phew!) that he thinks this team needs? Or will he instead be forced to whittle some sticks together, send some smoke signals to the heavens, and hope that Greg Oden and Brandon Roy's respective returns to the battlefield will help this team finally put it together and get past the first round? Let's rank Blazer assets. If my novice memory serves me well they look something like this:

1. Lamarcus Aldridge: There are few players in the league more attractive than LMA. Obviously, you're not going to deal him. Period. But it's nice to know he's there, right? Stud. And just think: he's under contract for several more seasons. Ahhhh. That's a nice, warm security blanky of a thought.

2. Nic Batum: He's on a rookie scale deal and has tremendous "upside". That makes him a nice asset in the value department, but not much of mover in the salary department. Perhaps as part of a larger trade--say--with Camby, for instance, you get something you like without taking back too much dead weight salary in return. He is also ideal for swapping with teams who have high lottery picks. I like this idea. I think Nic is nice but does not have star potential, therefore Cho should look to move him for perimeter upside. Wallace has a couple good years left, no?

3. Wesley Matthews: He worked his tail off and got payed. Then he worked his tail off even more and was the only Blazer to rep at all star weekend when he did whatever he did in the rook/soph game. Sorry, I forgot to watch. Hmm. Anyways, like Nic, Wesley is known for D and so/so offensive upside at his position. We've seen him guard bigger guys and we've seen him try and pressure Jason Kidd, with varying levels of success. He's going to work, and he's not going to be afraid to take shots in big moments. He's also going to get a few steals when you need them most. His contract is NOT modest, but hardly unreasonable should his growth continue. Is he an attractive piece for another team? I think he would be terrific in Golden State, thanks for asking. They want D. They like 3s. Overall however, I don't see many teams wanting to take on his salary unless they REALLY like his potential. Cho COULD trade him for upper lottery talent ala Marty-for-Babbitt (just a better version of that on both fronts) but I'm not sure if/how that could work salary-wise.

4/5. Gerald Wallace/Marcus Camby: These dudes are great. They offer experience, heart, and leadership. None can deny the impact a player of their quality can have on a team's growth and professionalism. Unfortunately, they don't have a tremendous amount of basketball left to play. Wallace is closer to prime years than Camby, but Camby is an excellent rebounding center--always a big market for that. I assume Cho will be looking for seekers but that there will be few. Young teams want young players who sell tickets. Championship level teams covet these types of players but generally have little young talent they are willing to send back in return, picking up valuable vets as FAs instead.

6. Paul Allen's (thinning) wallet: He's shown the willingness to spend money and acquire late 1st round picks. Unfortunately, that's NOT likely to land a high impact player but could prove to be quite handy in deepening the bench. His great wealth WILL be essential in retaining the bench warming services of this great Blazer, however:

7. Greg Oden: Why so low, you say? If the Blazers were to get GO with the QO (cute, eh?), wouldn't he make a sweet chip to send out for a player in that 9 million range? I don't think so. It seems to me teams will be quite reluctant to rent a rehabbing center for a half season. He's coming off of micro-fracture surgery and barely played any basketball over the last 4 years, after all. How effective can he be? Even at his size and skill--not very. Fall 2012 will be the beginning of his dominance (I guess). If the Blazers sign him to a long term deal this summer I'm sure they will foolishly hang on to him until he breaks down again. Sorry to be so drab. Just keepin' it real.

8. The 21st pick in the 2011 NBA draft: Meh.

9. Rudy: I still think Rudy has some value. He's cheap and really fun to watch. His shooting % is weak but not so bad that teams won't be tempted to predict a resurgence in that area if he were to play in the right system--say--New York or Chicago. Cho could send Rudy out for a banger at the end of the bench, for instance. Who could argue with that? If we've learned anything about the Blazers the last few seasons, it's that they will never--EVER--have too many bigs.

10. Andre: Oh! Tenth?! How can you disrespect Andre? I love Andre, but please stop talking about him. Let's not let other teams overhear our affection for Andre, lest they come clamoring for him with their so/so prospects and weak draft picks. I would weep if Andre were traded, especially since the returning value would be less-than-half as awesome. Dre's finger-malt-liquorin' dimes, kool-and-the-gang, mellow interviews, gum-chomping outbursts, and playoff 3 point shooting are too beautiful to part with. Deal?

So overall, I think Mr. Cho has his work cut out for him. He's going to bring back Andre and Greg for next season and hopefully work some magic elsewhere, acquiring one of the few perimeter guys in this draft who can figure into the Blazers' plans long term. He will also acquire the services of someone over 6'8" and heavier than 240 lbs who can use their body to physically move other players out of the way while they grab the orange ball as it bounces listlessly off of the side of the rim. Yeah--when your team shoots this bad, you need a guy who can do THAT.

 

PS- Brandon is not an asset, he's a permanent fixture. Let's just try and appreciate what he can do rather than bemoan his physical shortcomings.

How do you rank the Blazer assets? What would you add/subtract/correct on this list?

Dear Mavericks fans and Mr. Cuban,

I just wanted to write on behalf of Portland, and the beautiful state of Oregon, in regards to Mark Cuban reportedly being struck in the face with a wadded up piece of paper--possibly the wrapper of a "small straw"--during game 3 of the Western Conference Quarterfinals. I sincerely hope Mr. Cuban is recovering in a speedy fashion. We pride ourselves in having one of the cleanest cities in the Northwest. I also like to think our paper recycling program is one of the most efficient in the entire nation. After scouring through the Rose Garden blue prints, and finding no--I repeat NO--paper recycling station anywhere near Mr. Cuban, or his several body guards, I have come to this shocking conclusion: this event was likely no accident.

Needless to say, I am just as disgusted as ESPN, as well as any other media outlet worth half it's weight in salt. It's the type of borish behavior generally reserved for the parents of little league baseballers, not distinguished NBA fans. As such, I can only assure you great Mavericks fans, and Mr. Cuban, that Portland will have it's finest looking into this matter. We will not rest until the perpetrator (most likely a recent transplant from Southern California) is found and brought to justice.

On a personal note, I have witnessed--first hand--the effects a small wadded up piece of paper can have on a victim. My very own daughter was struck with one in her school's cafeteria. She had been standing on the table, taunting several of her adversarial contemporaries just as we teach her at home. "Don't let them get to you", we always say. "In fact, get in their face and show them who their daddy is." Of course, by "daddy" we mean who their better is. We try to keep up on the lingo as to be good parents. 

Well, one of my daughter's classmates--possibly one with a bad overbite who is also flunking mathematics--decided to take matters into their own hands and launch a piece of paper at my daughter. The projectile struck her flush in the left temple, humiliating her in front of her peers. Her dignity was scarred, and she refuses to eat in the cafeteria to this day. She is mostly quiet now, and has even taken to playing exploratory jazz music, which may very well be the greatest horror of all.

So, as you can see, this tragic event targeted at Mr. Cuban also resonates with me like the sour note from an oversized brass instrument. I promise I will not rest until this punk is found and brought to justice. My warmest regards to Mr. Cuban in this difficult time.

Your new friend via bonds of shared tragedy,

Blazer fan

It's that time of year where I military crawl in front of the couch, reach underneath, and try to suck up every dust bunny with a shop vac without actually having to move the furniture. It's that time of year where I remember that I also need to vacuum the cooling section on the bottom/front of the 'fridge. That thing gets awful fuzzy. AND it's that time of year where I remember Blazer appreciation threads past and present for players long gone, recently jettisoned to crappier teams, or presently accounted for in some sort of new or newly appreciated capacity.

 

Yes, BEdgers, we are a thankful bunch. Angsty? Maybe. Nervous? I doubt that. Who has time for worry? We've been to the top of the prime top-of-the-mountain viewing area several times in the last couple decades. We know what a good team looks like. We know--all too well--that "scrap" and "getting things done" is how to get things done. We know when "both teams played hard" someone is just dodging questions. So we expect nothing less than honesty, heart and hard work, but we don't expect more than is actually possible. We don't expect Patty to dish seven dimes in limited minutes and we NEVER asked Joel to successfully catch a high lob, switch hands, and lay it home ala Nic Batum (on a good night). No. No, we say. Just go out there. Play hard. We will love you. We are, the most appreciative fans in the world.

 

So, in this season of discovery of Blazerly affection for new players like Gerald Wallace, as well as the unfortunate discovery of that huge ball of slime-encrusted dog hair nestled under the book case, I would like to tip our hat to US and our penchant for appreciating things. We are great fans and we have a great team to root for. How convenient is that? Go Blazers, and go appreciation threads, past and present!

Dear Blazers productions,

Your use of the baseline angle stinks. Of the times you cut to it during a play headed toward the paint, half end with the ball being swung out of frame, stifling the tracking of the events. I commend you for trying something different, but much like an uncoordinated drummer in a Rush cover band, you aint pullin it off. Please stick with what is working all of the time, and resist the temptation to "get funkay" in ways that work only part of the time.  

Perhaps you think a few plays a game being botched by overzealous use of camera angles is ok. I don't. Perhaps you think the mid-level, sideline view gets old. I don't. Please keep it simple: a couple scoops of vanilla ice cream is better than a bowl of chocolate fudge almond with a speck of poop in it.

Thanks!

Steve Nash is nasty at many things, including the pick and roll, shooting, and free throws. Those are important things at the end of games. Too bad the Blazers stink at all three down the stretch of most games.

Andre Miller is the only Blazer with a clutch handle. Unfortunately, he's the slowest perimeter player on the team. What a sad. Patty continues to absolutely butcher every bit of clock management, and Armon is so far in Nate's dog house I bet he has a pillow, VCR, and tapes of Steve Nash in there to keep him warm at night by now.

Concerning ESPN, I thoroughly enjoyed a nice break from Mike Barret and his dizzying array of contemporary pessimistic meanderings. Of course, Mark Jackson says nice things about everyone, but it's still a refreshing change of scenery. Funny how the national guys sounded WAY more Blazer homer than our own crew. Neither did I miss Mike Rice stretching his talking overboard--sinking the action on the next play with his ever special way of taking the long way home on every verbal journey. Jackson keeps to the script, and sometimes that's a good thing.

Coach Franks is the whiniest looking guy in the NBA. Even after he gets a call he still appears to have taken on the essence of a constipated toad. Dude, you're annoying. SO ANNOYING. I thank my lucky stars for Nate every time I see Franks, Ron Van-Jeremy, Professor Prune-face Adelman, or that spazzy Chipmunk, coach D'Antony put on their respective pouts. You guys belong in a goth band. A really BAD goth band. Thank you, Nate, for never looking like a chump on TV. I wish your team's shooting could say the same...

Speaking of the Blazer bench...they pretty much stink. No ands, ifs, or buts. No "Rudy needs more confidence". Can it. No excuses. They stink. And Joel looks about 80% right now...80% of Marks, that is! Sorry, but it's the total truth.

All-in-all, I love this team, but I'm tired of watching them suck in crunch time. I guess I should get used to it though, because that appears to be one of the only constants with this group. Oh well. Go Blazers!





 
 

Kevin Love moves like a cat. Looking at him in college, I figured he would dance around the paint like Chris Farley earning 2 dollars doing his Chip N' Dale's routine but NO--the dude is pure Kevin Bacon.

Tolliver doesn't wear socks. He doesn't. I believe when THAT much white cotton is pulled up THAT high they are actually called "stockings". He plays D like a bellerina too. Fitting. Form fitting, even. They look comfy.

Also, what the heck happened to Beasley's face? Unfortunate ventriloquist accident with a doll dressed up as wolverine? Face tattoo homage to Mike Tyson after prom night? Those are both cool hobbies but...kinda eerie...

Mike Barret is as emo as announcers get. I mean, I love him but in his world a 2nd quarter Blazer team is "in a lull" when their 20 point lead plummets to 16. A 3rd quarter LMA jumper putting them back up by 16 is "big...big". A blown 3rd quarter layup that could have extended said lead from 16 to 18 is a "missed big opportunity". Finally, as the hapless Wolves cut that 20 point lead to 16 going into the final frame they have "seized some momentum". Wow. Bro. Basketball is supposed to be fun. Sorry but...CHILL--you're starting to sound like the grumpy teacher who hates kids.

Watching Martell Webster run around the floor like a headless chicken makes me appreciate sweet-shooting players who understand the game like, say, Ray Allen. Ray Allen is awesome.

And seriously: 3 goggles rule! Bust-a-bucket was lame. 3 goggles are not. You hear that, Portland? You came up with a cool gimmick. FINALLY! No, really--I love the 3 goggles. I can see them catching on in college ball--certainly Womens' college ball. The only thing holding them back is that Nike or Gatoraide doesn't care about any of the players who invented them. But who cares--it's another quirky Portland thing WE have all to ourselves. I'm ok with that.

Finally, the Blazers' TV production crew seems to REALLY like horrible heavy metal for all of their breaks. Guys--or should I say DUDES--I know nothing says basketball like dated bro-rock from 1996 to 2006, so I applaud you (sarcastically)!
PS--whoever picks the music is a meat head.
PPS--please stop running replays over live action and free throws; you do to the picture of the broadcast what Mike Rice and Antonio Harvey do to the audio. Please stop. KTHNX.

I'm surprised in an arena that can hold 20k, the camera crew are allowed to roost with their legs and feet situated beside the base of the basket. Last night, early on, Matthews layed it up and almost stepped on a camera person's foot. My first question is: has there ever been a player injury due to running into baseline crew? It's only a matter of time before a star is out for a couple weeks with a badly sprained ankle--or worse. STOP THE MADNESS, I SAY.

Here's the solution:

1) Only allow smaller people around the basket area. Sorry, biggies--I know you're real people too, but if you're not small enough to hunker down without dangling your legs into the baseline area--sorry--you're too damn big for the job. Go back to the truck and push some buttons. I'm thinking giving the job to retired jockies with smaller HD cameras. They can get decent shots without taking up so much real estate.

or 2) can that baseline angle all together. I hate it when the production crew switches to that angle mid-play anyways. It seems like a fairly worthless angle. It's certainly not worth endangering players' careers over, that's for sure.


What say you?