SB Nation User Blog: Hipuks

Ho Ho Ho!!!1!!

Hipuks — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:33:47 -0000

I know we're all a little bummed out from the last game, but let us remember than on the 25th of December, Santa Claus made an epic journey to Jerusalem in order to save baby Jesus from Krampus and it's this act of heroism the reason we celebrate Christmas!

Join me after the jump, where I'll have nothing interesting to say except that I always wanted to write "join me after the jump".

I had a friend that when told by his parents that Santa Claus didn't exist ( just kidding kids, he exists and you can be anything you want, socioeconomical factors play no role at all), he became very upset. He felt his trust has been violated, he felt like a complete idiot for believing for all those years, and he wondered what other things were being kept from him, he even wondered if there weren't other massive conspiracies which adults were part of. This episode sparked an intense skepticism of everything and may have even led him to become an atheist.

But enough about me, this time of the year is all about the family. Whether you have stupid foreign traditions, or celebrate Christmas during the summer instead of the winter like you should, or whether you have a quintessentially American Christmas , it's all about being with your loved ones, no matter how much you despise the idea, and of remembering that years from now, when you're old and your children have you put in a retirement home because you have become too much of a burden, it's not the touching family moments that you will remember, but the awesome gifts you got. Also if you're spending Christmas alone you might as well off yourself.

No matter if you celebrate Christmas ~~or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or some pagan festival~~ or are a terrorist, feel free to use the comment section to wish your fellow PTR-ers merry Christmas or FSMas or whatever, and let's be sure to spread the holiday cheer around.

If you feel a little self conscious, I'll get the ball rolling with this cartoon:

Merry Christmas motherfuckers!

Impressionistic rendition of the Spurs latest win against the Pacers.

Hipuks — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:12:57 -0000

Impressionistic rendition of the Spurs latest win against the Pacers.

A dramatization of a Spurs fan reaction to our latest loss against the Suns.

Hipuks — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:34:37 -0000

A dramatization of a Spurs fan reaction to our latest loss against the Suns.

A visual recap of the Spurs-Bobcats game.

Hipuks — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 04:43:04 -0000

A visual recap of the Spurs-Bobcats game.

Movie Reviews.

Hipuks — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:46:56 -0000

Lately I have been watching several movies and I thought it would a good idea to give a brief synopsis of them so that fellow PtR-ers can decide if they want check them out. If you want more info on the movies, click on their title which leads to the their respective Wikipedia articles.

My review system consists of Ol' Kentucky Sharks. With the highest being 5 Ol' Kentucky Sharks.

The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara.

Directed by Errol Morris and winner of the Academy Award for Best Documentary, this film follows a foggy afternoon of Robert McNamara playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, and talking about his life as Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War. Fascinating stuff, I highly recommend it.

I have to confess Errol Morris is one of my favorite directors. He directed the classic and hugely influential documentary The Think Blue Line, about his search for the perfect ball point pen, and A Brief History of Time, a documentary about the folk/glam band called "Time".

The Departed

A Martin Scorsese remake of a film that bizarrely enough, was in some stupid foreign language and not English. This star studded crime drama follows the story of a couple who missed a flight (Hence the name of the movie) and as they try to find a hotel to spend the night, their life quickly unravels in a frenzy of shootings, crossing and double crossings, and those little cards they give you to open hotel doors that never work right.

You just have to see this film. Although most Hollywood remakes suck, this one is a tour de france by the director. Martin Scorsese finally won a Best Director Oscar for this film, although he had directed classic films such as Taxi Driver, the story of a Sikh cabby from New York who is trying to live the American dream, Raging Bull, about a pit bull with rabies that's loose in the city, and Goofdellas, a documentary about a barbershop quartet and their search for fame.

A History of Violence

A school boy has to finish a report for his history class about violence during the middle ages but decides to procrastinate and leave it until the last moment. Will he finish and finally get an A on that class, or he will he fail and be severely punished by his drunken father? I won't ruin the ending for you, but this movie is has many twists and turns.

In one scene, you van see Viggo Mortensen's ass.

Casino Royale

This comedy about a group of thieves trying to break intro a struggling Las Vegas casino is well directed and the action sequences are thrilling, but though it was a highly regarded film by critics, I thought it was a good movie, but nothing special.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry finally grows up in this movie. After a Halloween party in which he gets very drunk, Harry decides to drive in spite of the warnings by his fellow Hogwarts classmates. On the way home, he runs over a Dutch prince that was visiting the United States. The prince is quickly rushed off to a hospital and is in immediate need of a transfusion. There is only one problem, he has the rarest blood type in the world.

This movie is a scathing criticism of the health care system in the US and the consequences of it remaining the same. Very well acted drama.

Gone Baby Gone

The Rugrats franchise takes on darker material in this crime thriller directed by Ben Affleck. A pound of diamonds hidden in a pair of diapers has disappeared, and two young detectives are given the task of finding it. There's many twists and turns in this movie, and some wrenching dramatic scenes, such as when one the babies tries to quit his addiction to the pacifier. An excellent movie you won't regret seeing.

Encounters at the End of the World

Directed by Werner Herzog, who is a badass, this is the heartwarming tale of love about an Internet couple who will finally meet, the problem, he lives in Somalia, and she in the South Pole. We follow our hero's journey as he tries to hitchhike his way to Antarctica, and meets interesting and quirky characters on the way. The story reaches a climax as he realizes he will have to cross the bridge connecting South Africa and Antarctica on foot. I won't spoil the ending, but I will say the story will please all who need a little pick-me-up before the holidays.

The Godfather

Eddie Murphy plays God's father in this hilarious slapstick comedy. After seeing God create the universe and all that inhabits it, he decides to pay God a visit. Though their relationship is strained at the start, they will find that in the end, there's nothing like the power of love to bring families together. Eddie Murphy also plays Jesus, Mary, Judas, the various animals in the stable, and most of the roman soldiers.

This movie is directed by Francis Ford Coppola, and although from that picture he looks like a douchy community college theater director, he has directed some masterpieces. Among them, possibly my favorite film, Apocalypse Now , a disturbing, heart wrenching, cinematic jewel about the 2012 Mayan prediction of the world's end.

The Godfather II

Sequels are usually not on par with the first movie, but this the exception. Eddie Murphy reprises his role as God's father, except this time, there is war as the Antichrist (Jared from the Subway commercials) challenges God for earth's supremacy. It was a big risk making this an action movie/comedy, but it paid off, as spectacular explosions are paired with witty one liners.

The film is 3 hours and 20 minutes long, and when it ends you wish it would keep going, that's how good it is. Eddie Murphy plays 65 characters.

Hope you enjoyed those. Next up on my list is Waltz with Bashir, the story of a bride who has to learn how to waltz before her wedding, which is complicated by the fact that she has no legs. The Hurt Locker, about a high school freshman getting his finger smashed as he's closing his gym locker, and Miller's Crossing, the real life story of Sandra Miller, who fought for years to have a traffic light installed in one of the most dangerous intersections in the country. I've heard very good things about those movies.

Until next time, have a filmstastic day.

In-depth graphical comparison of Manu's and Tony's skills.

Hipuks — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:12:58 -0000

Information is often easier to understand when put into clear, simple illustrations. For these images I used several basketball stats and ran them through a simple algorithm. I was a little surprised at the results, but that is often the case in statistics.

I have to refine the search methodology a bit, but this gives us a rough idea of how both players have performed so far, and what to expect the rest of the season. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Legend: The player with the Ginobili jersey represents Manu Ginobili.
The player with the Parker jersey represents Tony Parker.

POW! Right in the kisser!

Hipuks — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:03:41 -0000

POW! Right in the kisser!

How can DeJuan Blair play without an anterior cruciate ligament in either knee?

Hipuks — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:42:48 -0000

How can DeJuan Blair play without an anterior cruciate ligament in either knee?

"With his fingers crossed." Don't read if you're squeamish about possible future injuries.

Old Man Rosey Writes About Us.

Hipuks — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:51:17 -0000

Old Man Rosey Writes About Us.

Yep, we're pretty good.

Stupid freaking headline.

Hipuks — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:13:57 -0000

Stupid freaking headline.

"Spurs’ win vs. Hornets marred by Parker injury"

Really? REALLY? The article then goes on to explain how Parker just had the wind knocked out of him and how he appears to be fine.
Thanks for scaring the shit out of me, MSNBC. Bunch of liberals.