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Welcome to the Digital Viking: The EDSBS Guide to Spicy Living. Published every offseason Friday, the Digital Viking embraces zesty living with a six-part review of the essentials:

--A patron saint invoked for inspiration
--Drink
--Comestibles
--Combustibles
--Transit
--Canon

Diligent study of the Digital Viking's recommendations will increase spiritual happiness and liver circumference. Apply weekly and live daily for best results. 

 

Orson: A female patroness for today for so many good reasons. We like people who fought Nazis, mostly because Nazis are one of recent human history's 100% evil villains, and those who fought them were always right as long as they fought Nazis and therefore infallibly valiant and just. We like ladies who like a drink, which Nancy Wake certainly did, and women who like to curse, which Wake did "in the coarsest of terms" according to the Economist's obituary. We like women tough enough to take interrogation from the Vichy, walk across the Pyrenees to escape the Nazis, and who then returned to the fight in World War Two only after becoming a trained assassin and paratrooper. We're not proud of this, but we like women who didn't like killing a German sentry, but who did it with her bare hands because she had to, dammit. It's arousing, frankly, and we're going to have to live with that.

A lioness among housecats, we salute you, Nancy Wake, a fitting role model to close out this show. To the series finale of the Digital Viking. (Yes, the series finale. More on that in a moment.)

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We're inside three weeks 'til the kickoff of the 2011 college football season; a mere 20 days stand between a slavering audience and the majesty of Murray State-Louisville, so what's on the lips of a skyrocketing number of NCAA pundits from Miami to Seattle? Conference realignment! What else? It seems Texas A&M, weary of all the intangible advantages the Longhorn Network seems poised to hand the hated Longhorns, and pretty well-versed in threatening to leave the Big 12 after last summer's go-round, have begun the slow beat to drum the Aggies into the SEC. Didn't we just do this?

Facts are few and sources fewer, but what we know as of Friday afternoon is collected here. Enjoy?  

• According to our friends at Rivals, the university could vote to join the SEC for the 2012 season on August 22. A university spokesman denies a deal is already in place, and beyond that named sources dry out completely.

• The Texas House Higher Education Committee has scheduled a meeting for Tuesday, August 16 to discuss the future of the university's athletic program. A terse note confirming such is available here. What Texas state politicians do at this juncture will be a not-to-be-missed sideshow.

• And if they want to go, is it even up to them? Not without a vote-in from the SEC presidents, who may or may not be meeting on this very topic.

• So what if the university decides this is a bad idea, again? They might still have to go or risk looking like petulant snit-pitchers. 

• And who might replace them in the Big 12 if they do go? Houston's being floated, and has been floated before. 

• And who might accompany Texas A&M in a hypothetical bolt to the SEC? Florida State (who would likely face shrieking opposition from Florida)! Or Virginia Tech (who say they'd turn the invite down, probably!) Or nobody at all, including Texas A&M, because seriously, it's not that we're necessarily opposed to or not entertained by the machinations of the superconference race, but we're so close to real, live, actual football, and talking about anything else in the 20 days between us and it just seems like an exhausting waste of your time and ours. 

The Ohio State University administration and now-former head coach have wrapped their NCAA heading in Indianapolis after less than four hours, lending credence to the theory that there aren't too many surprises coming down the pike when the Committee on Infractions issues its ruling against the Buckeyes in two to three months.

That doesn't mean, whatever Gene Smith burbled this afternoon, that there aren't still surprises to be had. The amended notice of allegations delivered to Ohio State in July leaves the possibility of the dreaded LOIC or FTM charges very much out in the open.

In the meantime, we keep vigil for football (20 days!), read rapt descriptions of the NCAA hearing rooms, and parse over what's left. Today's flotsam: The Buckeyes will be returning their share of Sugar Bowl loot. Jim Tressel is getting pretty good at giving apologies, finally. And the world spins madly on. September, hurry up, would you?

I literally, actually cannot imagine how much more the demands of something like the Longhorn Network would wear on a guy who’s not as adept a media tap-dancer as Mack Brown. It might kill a coach of lesser smoothness. I mean it.

Viewers of Thursday night Rogers Cup action in Montreal were treated to a moment of pure gamesmanship from the ever-captivating World No. 7, France's Gael Monfils. Midway through his third set against No. 15 Viktor Troicki, Monfils goes and loses his racquet after a routine hit. Problematic? Un peu, but not for Monfils, who proceeds to block the easy return from Troicki with his racquet-less body like it's the most natural reaction in the world:

Monfils went on to take the match, 3-6, 7-6 (0), 7-6 (5), and advances to face some guy named "Novak Djokovic" in the Montreal quarterfinals. For more Canadian coverage, check out our Rogers Cup StoryStream. 
[Via Busted Racquet.]

Arkansas has wasted no time in issuing a press release on the status of star running back Knile Davis, following a grisly injury in Thursday's practice. As reported late last night, the would-be Heisman contender will miss the entire 2011 season with a broken ankle: 

"I am extremely disappointed for Knile," UA head coach Bobby Petrino said. "He is a captain who was incredibly focused on the upcoming year. His leadership throughout the offseason was significant in the development of this team. Our athletic trainers and medical staff are the best in the country, and Knile's mental toughness will be an asset to him during the recovery process. I am fully confident in the mindset of our running back group and their ability to perform."

On that last point, Petrino is entirely accurate. With Ronnie Wingo and Dennis Johnson healthy in the stable, there's no reason to think the Razorbacks can't remain competitive even in the deep and dastardly SEC West. But for even non-Arkansan fans of the game, 2011 just lost some luster. 

NCAA: “Y’all quit logging into Rivals to gain information readily available to the swath of the general public willing to fork over a subscription fee!”

NCAAF coaches: “LOL no.”

This radio soundbite ratchets either our respect or loathing for Doug Marrone up to 11, and we cannot decide which:

“I’ve been listening to a lot of Train. They’ve kinda made a good run and they’ve come back with Martina McBride and they’ve done a lot.

Paul Wulff’s outlook on Washington State football 2011 is one of tempered optimism.

SB Nation’s OBNUG asks, “When did Boise State outgrow one of its most legendary employees? And what would it take to go back to the way things were?”

I became a Boise State football fan for the football, not for the HR drama, so you’ll have to excuse me if stories like this make me break out in hives and pen open letters on my blog. The drama of hiring and firing and NCAA investigating is one aspect of college sports that I can do without.

And I thought I was doing without it by being a fan of Boise State football. People wear camo to games, for crying out loud. How much more grounded can you get than that? But silly me. It would seem you cannot escape The Machine when your team is as good as Boise State’s. As the Broncos have grown, so have the headlines. Now here we are turning 29-year-tenured employees into lame ducks and scrambling like mad to keep up with the Joneses (whom we never liked in the first place).

Sheldon Richardson’s through the clearinghouse and into meetings at Missouri, and it’s absolutely anyone’s guess how long he intends to stay there.

A new era begins in Boulder, and — pinch yourselves — it might even contain some organized sport. No, I know!

We have the superflu, you might have heard, and are whiling away our days of guest room quarantine by determining the future of sport, to tide us over until FutureSport becomes reality. And though we had never heard of "low impact rebound sport shoes" until we saw this unspeakably jaunty video, we think we've found the future ... today:

"You can use them indoors, or outdoors on paved roads, dirt paths, grass, sidewalks, at the beach or even on snow." All right, those last two are sort of hard to believe, but the ingredients for a new American Pastime are here: Ladies! Bouncing! One thickbro graciously allowed to participate and equally graciously kinda hidden at the back of the formation so you can't really tell he's not all that flexible! All that's missing is the addition of deadly weapons that would make Kangoo Fight the world's most formidable contact sport. We're envisioning a five-event competition, like rhythmic gymnastics, featuring bullwhips, morningstars, flaming torches, a tire run, and single combat on a giant trampoline. The undisputed champion is the last bro or chickbro standing with both ACLs intact.

Kevin Wilson has never been a head football coach before, and was just tapped as Bill Lynch's replacement last December, so while it might be easy to hear he did a radio interview that went very, very badly and scoff that stepping up to the skipper spot in Division I ball means learning to deal with the media ... well, we listened to the interview ourselves, and are firmly in the Team Wilson camp. This is the most interested we have ever been in Indiana football, and for that, we owe Kevin Wilson our allegiance. 

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SB Nation’s Arkansas Expats sits down with Phil Steele, the hallowed oracle of NCAA football.

SB Nation’s Building The Dam celebrates the return of James Rodgers, whose recent knee surgery doesn’t seem to be slowing him down in cone drills:

Rodgers’ performance almost seemed to be a quiet rebuttal to the Portland media, which seems to be united in calling for Rodgers to be held out until at least the UCLA game. Both papers’ primary writers have said so, and on the Morning Sports Report on 750 the Game, host Chad Doing even went so far as to say Riley is crazy to let Rogers on the field without a knee brace, and would be equally off-balance were he to even consider using Rodgers in a kick return role.

Riley of course is being cautious after the two major surgeries it took to repair the damage Rodgers suffered just before halftime in last year’s Arizona win. But sooner than later, it will be decision time, and unless there is a major setback once full action drills start that there currently is no reason apparent to expect, the question will be whether Riley plays his best players or not.

Eleven Warriors has about had it with the college athletics amateurism debate:

I’m still trying to figure out what is morally wrong with taking money that people want to give you. I’m still also trying to figure out what is ethically wrong about trading your signature for a fistful of cash? If my mother was having a hard time paying rent, and I could sell my signature to some clown for $500, I’m not supposed to do that so Mark Emmert’s obese ass can get chauffeured around towns he jet-sets to?

God’s own college football conference, from an across-the-pond perspective.

According to reports, Kevin Prince has leapfrogged Richard Brehaut in UCLA’s quarterback race, and without even shredding any tendons!

What’s the opposite of enliven? Endeaden? How to further endeaden football at Texas Tech, even atop swapping out Mike Leach for Tommy Tuberville? I’ve got a feeling they’ll think of something. [Via David Ubben, who shares our sentiments.]

[ESPN] ran an ad featuring fans saying “Roll Tide” during the bowl season. “I said, ‘How much did Alabama pay those guys to do that?’” Spurrier said, recalling his conversation with Slive. “He said, ‘Oh, they didn’t have to pay them anything.’ I said, ‘Well, what happened to Go Gators or Rocky Top or Go Gamecocks?’ I didn’t think that was all that fair.”