SB Nation User Blog: Horn Brain

Brian Orakpo: Soft on Frosh!

Horn Brain — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:44:50 -0000

Brian Orakpo: Soft on Frosh!

Brian Orakpo tells Kirk that Malcom Williams (6'3" 225) looks faster than Limas Sweed (he of the 4.4 something at the combine), and Fozzy Whittaker runs like he weighs 230 (in a good way). Excited!!!

Jamaal Charles is a rugby-playin' white dude? PB should recognize this run. Think 75 yards agai...

Horn Brain — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:58:15 -0000

Jamaal Charles is a rugby-playin' white dude? PB should recognize this run. Think 75 yards against Okie State last year. Uncanny.

It may not be very relevant, but it's not like we're competing for Fanshot space right now...

Morning Orange Juice is on College Time

Horn Brain — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:26:35 -0000

I'm sure all of you old dudes are at work by now, but this is when I finish walking the dog, so them's nuts. -HB

Not sure that this will be more than an occasional stealing of the show, as Peter has informed me that he's knee deep in slum-lords today, so don't get your panties all in a wad if I'm ruining your daily dialogue with Peter. He'll be back.

Quick, name our running backs. If you said Vondrell McGee or Fozzy bear, then you're right, but you're not all right. Chris Ogbonnaya (would you believe I have a tougher time with the 'h' in his first name than his entire last name?) gets interviewed over at the spin factory, but in a way that you'll like. You've got to love his attitude. He talks like the guy that goes to every practice, never complains, helps out his teammates anyway he can, and if on game day the coach goes with someone younger and faster, he'll be right there slapping on his chin strap and telling him to watch the blitz. Beyond that, though, Chris says he's slimmed down a bit this summer, which could help us out a tiny bit. Recall during the A&M game that we had a third and I believe 5 (don't quote me) on the goal line, Davis put in Chris O and the Aggies all yelled "PASS!" Colt made a quick handoff to Obi-Won and he force-pushed his way into the endzone. Having a slightly more explosive third down back introduces a neat little change-up to your arsenal. Let's hope that's what we get.

Colt McCoy doesn't get to hold the knife. While Tim Tebow is probably in the Philippines circumsizing newborns, Colt took a week in Iquitos, Peru on his own mission trip. McCoy told the AAS that he had rice for every meal and lost 10 pounds while teaching little Peruvian kids the "other football". Luckily for the kids, UCLA COACH Rick Neuheisel sent along a scouting crew, and has reportedly scheduled an official visit from a few of the kids, who picked off Colt countless times. The little Juan was excited, but reportedly muttered under his breath, "I'll have to remember to forward Colt some of my signing bonus." Greg Davis blamed the heat and the communication barrier between the Tuscola, TX native and his Peruvian receivers.

AJ Abrams scores a workout! AJ worked out with the Sacramento Kings Monday, along with everyone's other favorite shot-specialist, Drew Neitzel from Michigan State. I saw ol' baldy up close a few times at the Sweet Sixteen game in Houston after we trounced Stanford. He was the only Spartan who didn't slap my brother's outstretched hand either going or coming from the court, and even gave him a weird look, as if to say, "Me touch you?" Hate that guy. If he's there with Abrams, though, they may be looking for a sharpshooter. Oh, what's that? My left brain just reminded me that AJ will return to school.

Another NEZ update, brought to you by Wells Fargo. Here are some pictures of the north endzone at DKR and it's progress. Looking good so far. They're even putting up some Texas banners in select places. The chairs are cute now, but hopefully they'll realize they can seat more people on bleachers. I find it funny that part of the reason we were so excited about the NEZ is the noise potential, and they're trying to keep everyone comfortably seated with their eyes fixed on the Fargo commercial on the Godzillatron across the field. Flaming will be accepted in my email .

Texas and the Top Ten: A Love/Hate Relationship

Horn Brain — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:27:20 -0000

So I just picked up the first preseason mag that I've seen this summer yesterday at CVS - The Lindy's Big 12 2008 Preview. Brought it home, read the whole thing on the toilet, and now my new puppy is chewing on the spine and I'm not going to stop her. I'm going to tell you that it's garbage, and don't waste your money, but I know it won't help, because I got it last year, it was garbage, and I knew that when I bought it. I just can't leave all that optimism sitting on a shelf, but I also can't read it without laughing.

It was sweet at first: Texas is their number 8 team, they've picked us to finish 2nd in the South (to You Know Who... not David Hernandez), and third overall in the Big 12. Not bad, says I, we just need to beat OU, like always, and that's first in the South.

One in a million...

But then they didn't give us a single All American, first or second team, they didn't rank any of our units (LBs, DL, OL, QB, RB, etc.) in the top ten in the nation, and our Big 12 unit rankings go like this:

QB - 6th
Receivers - 4th
RB - 7th*
OL - 6th*
DL - 5th*
Secondary - 9th
LBs - 7th*******
ST - 9th

* I'll argue to the death that these are too low, but still...

Does that look like the #8 team in the country? Granted, the Big 12 looks like the SEC right now, but the third best team in the SEC is LSU (with Perrilloux, in this mag. LOL @ press deadlines.), who didn't look half bad before Ryan found Osama hiding in that restaurant. Why don't they at least lie convincingly?

So now I've gone full circle. You love being in the Top Ten every June. You know you do. Every season is the season that won't be so frustrating as the season before this season. You hate being in the Top Ten every June, you know you do. Even if you won't say it, you know that it's just another opportunity to be disappointed. We've been talking about the fact that we aren't supposed to be good until next year, but you just wait. You're bound to believe one of those magazines, or one of those drunk guys, before Florida Atlantic comes to town. Don't worry, though, we all do it. Well... except Wells, but he went to Colorado...

My point is, Texas is a Top Ten team again because no one can find more than one or two games that Texas (the name) should lose. Just like we should have beaten everyone last preseason. Then Arkansas State happened. Followed by UCF. Followed by Kansas State. Every year most of us will eventually succumb to the repeated insistence by the media that Texas is reloading, not rebuilding, despite the fact that that imagery doesn't make any more sense than an Oklahoma graduate thesis. (What are we reloading that takes three years? A cannon on a ship in a bottle? Plus, if we are reloading, we certainly can't shoot you right now, can we?)

Aside from the preseason magazine "reloading" madness, people are talking gibberish in the newspapers as well. Check out this AAS article that I found buried in one of their email updates:

First, a disclaimer: Considering the depleted numbers on defense last fall, Mack Brown did the best coaching job of his career by getting 10 wins out of the Longhorns.

Excuse me, but what the hell? I thought all along that we couldn't defend the pass worth a Stephen McGee deep ball, but we were just injured? Well in that case I guess we owe Duane Akina an apology and a re-promotion. Who needs Muschamp anyway?

The culprits: Recruits who haven't panned out. Players such as all-world linebacker Sergio Kindle and five-star defensive end Eddie Jones.

Oh, right, so when a bunch of recruits don't fulfill their potential, we should blame them for losing to abominable teams like KSU and A&M. Damnit, Eddie Jones, why didn't you play more this year? When you destroyed Adarius Bowman and he had to be carried off the field, why didn't you play more after that? Where were the sacks? It's not like it's someone else's decision whether your freak self gets to rush the passer or if you have to play contain to funnel the ball away from Killebrew. Come on, Eddie.

If Mack's best coaching job of his career includes a 20 point loss to 5th in the North KSU and a blowout by the Aggies, then maybe I should be even more pessimistic. More likely, though, some people are just crazy.

So. Overhyped preseason rankings. Just like 54b, love 'em or hate 'em, you can't help but believe 'em. Thoughts and prognostications wanted below.

NCAA Day 3 Thread Part 2: There Is No Byron Wiley

Horn Brain — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:55:10 -0000

Texas squeaks by St. John's 4-3 in a nail-biter, and now Riley Boening will start the game against Rice at 6pm. Lost in the drama of the final out was Kyle Russell breaking the Texas all-time career HR record. Wooo! Let's hope Kyle and friends keep things rolling tonight, because I don't think Rice has any gaping holes in, say, left field for us to fill with doubles. If Texas can take this game, we'll face Rice again tomorrow for a trip to the supers. First thing's first, though. Stay alive tonight:

Completely unnecessary.

NCAA Day 3 Thread: Get Back, JoJo!

Horn Brain — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:51:28 -0000

The Longhorns have a chance to get back to where they once belonged today with a revenge game over the St. John's Red Storm, winners of Friday's 2-to-freaking-1 back-stabbing and 'you-do-not-tempt-the-baseball-gods' heartbreaker. You're invited to grumble along as we work for a chance to face Rice, 6 innings of Chance Ruffin later. For the record, Kirk Bohls agrees with me about Chance Ruffin. (Yes, Kirk, even though we're mad at you , we're not the kind of mad where we can't admit that we agree about some things, no, not that mad.) Let's beat these guys 21-2, so's we can be all like "There's your two runs, motherf&$#er!"

Game starts at 2pm. There are a billion ways for you to watch it on video, but none of them work except for commenter amorphous, so crank up the KVET and start your search for stats/video here.

[Note by 40AS, 06/01/08 10:56 AM CDT ] Not sure how this hasn't been mentioned, but with two homers yesterday, KYLE RUSSELL TIED THE ALL-TIME TEXAS CAREER RECORD!!! Kyle has 17 on the year, bringing him to 55 total for his career (if our math is correct), matching Jeff Ontiveros' four-year total. Considering Kyle probably won't be back next year, it's time to cheer really hard for one more home run to break the record.

Whose Jersey Are You Wearing?

Horn Brain — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:14:30 -0000

Whose Jersey Are You Wearing?

Click the title to go to the Longhorns Ltd. Online Catalogue.

Interesting to see who the merchandise guys think will be good next year. You've got:

12 Colt
3 Chris O
7 Chiles/Beasley
8 Shipley
6 Cosby
10 Vince Young (still awesome)
Receiver #4 (Sweed, Williams, Buckner)
25 Jamaal Charles still
32 Cedric Benson still
44 Bobino (FAIL at money)
98 Orakpo
Surprise! 2 Sergio Kindle (To borrow from mgoblog: Eeeeeee!)
2 could also be Vondrell McGee, your de facto starting TB.

Women only have one jersey, #1, which is just sexist, I guess. Chicks would have to wear a phallis on their chests. Or maybe it's Phillip Payne or Keenan Robinson. Unlikely.

Texas Gets #2 Seed in Houston Regional!

Horn Brain — Mon, 26 May 2008 17:32:18 -0000

Good news, people. If I'm not as dumb as ESPN's web designer, then I think that this bracket has us in national seed Rice's regional, across from Texas A&M's regional. Why is this good?

We're in Houston, where we ought to get some good crowd support to help us get past Rice (though they'll probably have good fan support, too... probably...) and the other guys in our regional, #3 St. John's and #4 Sam Houston State.
A&M has been horrible lately, which gives us hope that they won't make it out of their regional, thus giving us a good chance to host a super regional if we make it out of Houston.
Second worst-case scenario (Worst being not making it out of Houston), Texas has to play in College Station for super regional action, a place that we haven't exactly had trouble with, 12th man and all, recently.

So there you go. Hopefully I'll get another chance to see the 'Horns in Austin, but even if I don't, I've got a really good chance to see them make the Aggies cry one more time on their home field. That's all fun to imagine for now, but first we should beat the crap out of Rice and friends.

[Note by Horn Brain, 05/26/08 1:16 PM CDT ] This is also a good place to talk about any interesting matchups you find in the bracket. Nebraska got UC Irvine as a #2 in their regional. Good luck with those darned Anteaters, Corn.

Kyle's first hit of his Texas career came on his second ever at-bat. Oh, and what a hit!

Horn Brain — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:02:26 -0000

Kyle's first hit of his Texas career came on his second ever at-bat. Oh, and what a hit!

Texas hoops recruits No. 1 Tristan Thompson

Horn Brain — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:17:35 -0000

Texas hoops recruits No. 1 Tristan Thompson

Now Barnes is really building himself a program. We got mommas throwing their babies at us!