SB Nation User Blog: HoyaGoon

Bowl Season: An Iowa Fan's Cheering Guide

HoyaGoon — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:02:07 -0000

The bowl season is finally upon us (well, not quite but soon). As always, this bowl season promises nothing but ~~exciting~~ ~~interesting~~ ~~guaranteed money-making~~ football matchups. As we all know, the Big Ten's national rep is about as low as it can get, we need bowl wins to boost the league's image. Unfortunately, almost none of the league's bowl teams has much, if any, history against their opponent so it is difficult to anyone to really hate the team they're playing against. Given that lack of natural emotional response, what's an Iowa fan to do? Below, I bring you my rooting interests in the league's bowl games and a few others of note.

I invite you, gentle readers of BHGP, to share your thoughts as well. Because what's college football without the mindless hatred of a team comprised post-adolescents you'll never meet simply because they're playing another team of post-adolescent men on a team you have some degree of affinity for?

Orange Bowl: Iowa, duh. If I need to explain why, you're clearly on the wrong site

Rose Bowl: I'll hold my nose and go with OSU. I don't want to root for the Buckeyes, but let's be honest, the league needs the prestige boost an OSU win would provide. Besides, there's just something about Oregon that really annoys me. Maybe it's the media constantly touting them as the "team on the rise" to watch. Or maybe it's the 5,248 uniform combos, all of which are hideous. Yeah, it's probably the uniforms.

Cap One: PSU, outside of one week a year, who around here has anything negative to say about the Fightin' JoePas?

Outback Bowl: This one is tough. On the one hand, a win over an SEC team would do wonders to boost the Big Ten's rep. Add in the fact that it's against Chizik and you have a strong reason to pull for Northwestern. On the other hand, the eleven jNWU fans in the world are insufferable enough now, can you imagine how bad they'll be if they actually have a bowl win occurring after the Korean War to crow about? Yeah, that would be unbearable; reluctantly, gotta throw my nickel bet behind the Tigers.

Alamo Bowl: MSU, just 'cause. But I give them about a 2% chance.

Insight Bowl: Admittedly, picking a team to root for in this game is like choosing between Stalin and Hitler in a "Nicest Guy" contest, both options suck and run contrary to the basic premise of the decision. I'm approaching this one from the perspective of pure Iowa self-interest. As someone (RossWB maybe?) mentioned in the threads, Rhoads probably guaranteed himself plenty of goodwill just by getting to this bowl while Brewster is starting to feel the heat from his chair. A Minny win probably gives Brewster some breathing room. And for an Iowa fan, the comedic possibilities and guaranteed yearly Hawkeye win Brewster brings to the table are too irresistible to pass up. GO FIGHT BOWL GOPHER TRY WIN BABY!!!!!

Champs Sports Bowl: Don't really care. But I love DA U!

Fiesta (aka Battle of the Unbeatens for Jack Shit!) Bowl: TCU. Boise seems to gimmicky for me and I really like the style of football TCU plays.

Sugar Bowl: Tebow Tears cure every ailment known to man. Thus, we have to collect as many as possible before they disappear into myth (like unicorns, Atlantis and Big XII defenses). And the only way to get more is for Tebow to lose: Go Bearcats!

National Title Game: Two storied powerhouse college football teams with rich traditions and history that I admire and respect coached by two of the least honorable men in college football. I've already used my Stalin-Hitler comparison above (kinda wish I hadn't shot my load so quickly on that one), so I'll go with saying $aban and Brown are like Pol Pot and Idi Amin: pulling for either leaves you feeling dirty. In a close one, gotta go with Alabama, at least $aban doesn't whine as constantly as Mack Brown.

#1 reason why I'm looking forward to next season

HoyaGoon — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:15:03 -0000

#1 reason why I'm looking forward to next season

Not the number of starters and injured players we return. Not our favorable schedules. NO, the #1 thing to look forward to next year is no more Tim Tebow and hence, no more columns like this one that have no purpose other than to deify the Chosen One (who I am sure is a wonderful person). There is no "story" here, no analysis, nothing but suckling at the Tebow-teat and churning out yet more haiography of #15. Though, I have no doubt in the ability of the world-wide-leader to latch on to yet another QB and declare him the "greatest college football player EVER" after half-a-season of games.

Iowa to #9 in AP, Coaches still retarded

HoyaGoon — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:46:35 -0000

Iowa to #9 in AP, Coaches still retarded

Iowa is at #9 in AP poll (and 1 ahead of PSU), #10 in Coaches poll, who still inexplicably rank them behind a Penn State team with identical record, home loss to team they're ahead of.

Long Available

HoyaGoon — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:14:23 -0000

Long Available

Looks like Chuck Long will be available for coaching duties next season. We should hire him as a QB-coach. Best part about it is that Iowa could pay him next-to nothing (or nothing at all) in 2010 and he'd still be well compensated.

My thoughts after today

HoyaGoon — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 07:46:11 -0000

My thoughts after today

This is, at best, only tangentially related to the Hawkeyes. But this has to be the most...

HoyaGoon — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:35:51 -0000

This is, at best, only tangentially related to the Hawkeyes. But this has to be the most gloriously awesome rendering of the jNW mascot out there. A picture is truly worth a thousand words, for it is impossible to convey the sense of utter ridiculousness that is jNW in such a way as this picture does.

(h/t Marc Morehouse)

No respect

HoyaGoon — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:56:44 -0000

No respect

Granted, we didn't exactly blow anyone's mind with this game. But still, I would expect something more from the alleged world-wide-leader in sports than the seeming "Iowa wins on fluke" spin they're putting on the game. If only because it denigrates the defensive effort both teams exhibited in this game. Once again, however, if an SEC team wins 16-13, it's evidence of how amazing ESSS EEEEE CEEE defenses are; if it's a Big Ten team, it means that someone stole a game they didn't deserve.

Amazing finish. Great game Sparty. 8-0 for first time ever!! GO HAWKS!

Programming Note: Ferentz to be on Dan Patrick Show

HoyaGoon — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:21:57 -0000

Programming Note: Ferentz to be on Dan Patrick Show

As he wrapped up his radio show today, Dan Patrick mentioned that he would be interviewing Kirk Ferentz tomorrow. Which probably means we're now jinxed.

ESPN embraces BHGP

HoyaGoon — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:09:03 -0000

ESPN embraces BHGP

It would seem that the WWL is buying products from BHGP. Quoth Rittenberg: Stanzi was the Manzi for Iowa. Congrats gents, you've gone mainstream.

Some thoughts after the Michigan game

HoyaGoon — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:45:59 -0000

In full disclosure, I'm pretty drunk when I type this

1. The STANZIBALL per game needs to stop. NOW. One of these days, our defense isn't going to be able to bail Stanzi out. I don't care if Stanzi only completes 30% of his passes, as long as one isn't to the other team for 6, I'll take it.

2. Who'd of thought, Vandevelde is actually the answer at guard. I love Reiff, but he wasn't getting it. done.

3. DJK is our best receiver. I don't care if he has carnal knowledge of Ferentz's daughter on the 50-yard line during practice, he needs to be in the game. Quite simply, he makes catches no one else does and bails us out of situations that we have no business being saved from.

4. This team is going to give me about eleventy billion heart attacks before the end of the season.

5. We are 10x better with Moeaki than we are without. If only Mr. Glass could stay healthy for the rest of the season.

6. Greenwood has finally arrived. It was forever and day coming, but he has finally learned how to not get killed in coverage. This is a good thing, and one I am happy to say I was wrong about.

7. Everyone of our back 7 except for Spievey now has an interception. This is a good thing.

Whatever, we're now 6-0! It's been a rollercoaster of a season, and promises only to be more so until the end of the year. I don't yet believe, but dear Lord, I want to.

GO HAWKS or get herpes!