Didn't know what to write about for this one - thanks to Phil for the inspiration and nolander for not knowing the timeframe of the GO GO GO chant. Hope this suffices.

It was either this or a limerick in praise of the 110 Freeway.

A RABBIT IS LOOSE AGAIN

For a steal in support of Chad Billz,
A sound worthy of Callas or Sills.
From the depths down below
Came the chant GO GO GO!
Unheard since the era of Wills.

Went out to lunch with a friend and caught most of the game on the TV at Ford's Filling Station. The burger was as tasty as Kershaw's stuff.

I don't really have a limerick about yesteday's game at the ready, but I have one that looks ahead to tonight's.

EVERYONE IS WATCHING THE WEATHER CHANNEL AND WHATEVER CHANNEL HAS A LIVE FEED ON A CERTAIN HOUSE IN THE PALISADES

If the grounds crew survives and don’t blunder it,
The sky isn’t lightning’t and thunder’t,
I wonder if whether
The mess ain’t the weather
But that our poor Vinny is under it.

Well, that could have been a lot more fun if not for the Grand Slam. Oh, well, you can't win 'em all. I guess we just picked the wrong Padre lefty that was gonna give our boys trouble... Is Richard really that good? I have no idea.

'SCUSE ME WHILE I WHIP THIS OUT

For Dodger fans filling their form in:
Who was the RBI four-man
That was playing third base
I’ll explain (just in case)
By quoting the late Harvey Korman.

Passover seders are fun, but with an 18-month-old, you gotta keep it moving or you're asking for trouble. Uncle Marty did not keep things moving last night. I'd blame myself, but it's really more fun to blame Uncle Marty. Oy vey.

Here's your limerick.

DON’T WORRY, IT ALL HAS A HAPPY ENDING

I missed last night’s game for a seder.
As Moses (the Jewish crusader)
Managed it (he slipped
Our peeps out of Egypt)
The Dodgers were reaching their nadir.

There's been some debate about what we can expect from Billingsley, but no doubt about his performance last night. What a joy to see him have a great game. I think the book is still unwritten about what we can expect for the rest of this year -- and we can't ignore who his opponent was last night, as they looked clueless at the plate and in the field -- but I'll bet that Chad is viewing 2012 as an exciting challenge.

ELITE? SOLID? PART LION, PART GOAT, PART SERPENT?

Is Bills just a Dodger chimera?
Think he's great when in fact he's a terra?
IVdown says no --
This season he'll show
Like the Padres last night, you're in erra.

Let's try this again. I'll keep this going as long as I can... Missed most of yesterday's game (things still crazy on-and-off at work), but caught pieces here and there. Was surprised to hear Lindblom coming in in the fourth. Still, good to know that even when the Dodgers' Cy Young winner is under the weather, the fans can still count on him for three scoreless.

KERSHAW'S STUFF IS SICK - AND...

Kershaw's sick? Though the qualms, they are many,

There's no need to go full Henny-Penny.

Although the news stuns

That he's got the runs

The other team still won't get any.

I am moving the book discussion here, so that it's not lost.

My choices:

Best book I read this year: Possession by AS Byatt.

Unless it was: True Grit by Charles Portis.

Favorite book: Fifth Business by Robertson Davies.

Book I like to recommend to people because it is awesome: The Secret History by Donna Tartt.

Josie's:

Best book I read this year: The Tigers Wife by Téa Obreht

Unless it was: Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Favorite Book: Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

Book I like to recommend to people because it is awesome: The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler

Marty contributes:

I just finished a Frank Norris jag

McTeague
The Octupus
The Pit

Your turn.

I was gonna work out something about Pridie/pretty/shitty, but I didn't have the heart.  Here's a fairly caustic limerick that  is maybe a little harsher than I really feel... maybe.  I dunno, if the team is gonna go anywhere, it's not enough to stay at .500 and then kick ass when Furcal gets back... they also have to beat up the terrible teams like the Mets.  Then again, I really don't think the Dodgers are going anywhere, so what am I talking about?

ONLY PRIDE IS ON THE LINE, AND WE DON’T HAVE ANY OF THAT, ANYWAY
We have some terrible batters;
Their pitching staff is in tatters!
Which is better, which worse?
The point of this verse
Is to say that I don’t think it matters.

Things have been super busy at work.  The quality of these limericks suffers. 

These cover the Padres and Cubs series. I'm caught up for a few hours.

#27: DODGERS WIN!  PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE BIG DUDE ON THE MOUND

Shout out the name: Tony Gwynn!

A catch that results in a win!

(Now swallow that pride

For a mumbled aside

‘Bout the closer – the catch saved his skin.)

#28 I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I CAN KEEP THIS UP

For the second time, now, in thueyier,

We get a poor eighth from Guerrier.

If he keeps his composure

He might be the closer

But like this? The results are unclier.

#29 WITH A COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTING DODGER SHUTOUT, HERE’S A LIMERICK BY SPAWN

I love Dodgers – don’t you question why!

I get to eat garlic fry!

And for treat, I have chosen

Lemonade (frozen)!

A game being played?  GFY.

#30 I REMEMBER APRIL

Twenty-eight games!  Whatta streak!

Ethier, hitter unique!

Will we sing the same tune

When he’s oh-for-June?

Let’s keep things from getting too bleak.

#31 I’M NOTICING A TREND

The fans say to Broxton: to hell, go!

Get rid of ya! We’ll even sell low!

But that guy on the mound --

Just one guy around

Who’s having a deal with his elbow.

#32 AND A FIRST BASEMAN WHO STRIKES OUT ON FO’ HACK?

The closer? Storm, argument, blowback.

The owners? Their taxes, they owe back.

And a game that ya wish

That like too-small fish

It was one you could just up and throw back.

You'll have to forgive me if some of these are second rate. 

#23 DODGERS DELIVER A SERIES WIN AGAINST THE CUBS
Their gonfalon bubble was burst!
Their goat is got! Ha, they are cursed!
The Dodgers were grinning
(Like Mister Sheen, #winning!)
Because they scored five in the first!

#24 LOSING CAN MAKE YOU DEEEEEE-MENTED
I hear they don’t dance or play ball
(Or wear sweaters – or nothin’ at all)
But be sure Fish are dead
Or your face will be red
And then down in the ninth you will fall.

#25 IN TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE, THE ROLE OF CLOSER WILL BE PLAYED BY….
Ninth inning! That grandest of stage!
Where winners and losers are gauged!
But -- ere “up curtain” --
It’s best to be certain
The players are on the same page.

#26 IS ENLIGHTENMENT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF MEDIOCRITY?
In the stretch, wins and losses count ten.
Nirvana’s way out of my ken,
But still I have wonder’d --
By going .500
Have they reached perfect balance and zen?

Oh come on.  I turn off the game when it's 7-5, I turn it back on and they've scored another but blown it?  

Tough loss, but whatcha gonna do.  Guerrier has pitched well so far.  Not so well that I can't make fun of him, though.  And his name.

One thing about Matt Guerrier
You can see all across his cuerrier:
He's can, sometimes, dwell
When he’s pitching well
But poorly? He's then a huerrier.

What more could I have wanted from today?  I had the day off, I had nothing to do, I had a great lunch with Dave and BH, and the Dodgers won in a blowout.  Good Friday?  Great Friday, I says.

Not sure the last line scans right.  Any suggestions?

The Dodgers, they knew of their fate –
‘Twas written that they would score eight.
But not ‘til inning four
Would they reach that score!
“Here’s some more, kids, for making you wait.”

Here are seven limericks, which cover everything I've missed to date: the two Cardinal blowouts, Bison Bomb #1, Jerry Sands' debut, the ninth inning meltdown, Garland's CG, and Bison Bomb #2.

#14 YES, I’M A WEEK BEHIND, A POOP JOKE IS THE BEST I CAN DO
As Dodger fans start to get moody,
Comes Garland, but pitches like doodie.
Dunno what he was huffin’ –
That guy had nuffin!
He was less of a Jon and more Judy.

#15 HORACE GREELEY NEVER SAW THIS GUY’S STRIKE ZONE
Go West, it is said, and fo’ sho!
You’ll be famous!  You’ll make lotsa dough!
You know you’re the best
Just watch out, cause the West
Turns out is an asshole named Joe.

 #16 BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, NONE OUT, ETHIER ON SECOND
A shutout – down one – we got chills.
It was tense, from the beach to the hills.
Now the pitch – was it hung? – 
The Bison, he swung,
And settled and paid off our Bills.

#17 NED COLLETTI INSPIRES THE TROOPS
Left field – it’s just out of our hands?
We’ll just face all the ire from fans?
Accept it’s our fate
At this early date?
Oh, fuck that – let’s call up Jerry Sands!

#18 I WENT TO BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EIGHTH
Not seeing the end, I am blind.
Outta sight, and for sure, outta mind.
If I don’t see the score
I’ve no reason to roar --
For me, they’re still one run behind.

#19 DODGER FANS ARE A FICKLE BUNCH – NOW EVERYBODY LOVES JON GARLAND
Though Garland at times throws sedately,
He had it – on Wednesday, pitched greatly.
The start of his dreams!
Redemption, it seems,
Is what have you done for me lately.

#20 BOTTOM OF THE TWELFTH, NONE OUT, ETHIER ON SECOND
Bison, magnificent creatcha!
Deposits the ball in the bleacha.
Now the word gets around
The league, it has found
You know that guy Kemp?  He might beatcha.

It's an old adage that if you expect the worst, you can only be surprised and pleased by good news.  And I suppose that's the attitude I've brought to this season, but the thing is, despite the average-ish play we've seen so far, there has been actual good news.  Kemp is amazing.  Kershaw is amazing.  From nearly every player, we have seen flashes of the talent that made them Major Leaguers.  Most importantly, the games have been fun to watch, and that is all you can ask of this or any ballclub.

So yeah, I'm a pessimist, but I think that even though I'm expecting mediocre results from the team, that's no reason to set the game threads on fire.  Think that's hypocritical of me?  Maybe:

I’m a downer, but still, let’s relax.
The games have been fun – them’s the facts.
Yeah, I’m in fine fettle.
(You pots, meet the kettle.)
Want anguish? Just peek at your tax.

It's funny, the feeling of watching a ballgame.  Two nights ago, against Lincecum, I felt like the Dodgers had it locked up against Lincecum, but it didn't work out, and I was pissed.  Last night, for reasons I can't express well, I felt like the Dodgers were lucky to be in the game -- and then took the lead!  I was shocked and feeling like the Dodgers were about to steal a game and the karma of the three-game series would all work out, and then it didn't.  Of course, none of my feelings had anything to do with reality. I don't think Karma works like that anyway.

Here's a silly rhyme to get away from all that.

Lilly was pitching with care

Till Fontenot blasted his flare.

If he can go yard

You know I’d be scarred

By watching Ted face Juan Pierre.

Wish we'd had a better result.  You get three runs off Lincecum with Billingsley on the mound and that one should be in the bag.  Sigh.  Whatcha gonna do.  That's gonna happen. 

I considered a limerick about the triple from Aaron Rowand of all people, but let's accentuate the positive instead, yes?

Pinch hitting is tough, but no shrinking

From Thames.  Was the Dodger press blinking?

Ya needn’t be Xavier –

Just by his behavior

ya know just what Marcus was thinking.

For a team that needed everything to go right -- and I know this was not a point of universal agreement -- Furcal breaking his thumb before Tax Day is not good.  I mean... everybody knew Furcal would spend time on the DL, but breaking the thumb on an ill-considered headfirst slide.... sigh.

Furcal’s headfirst slide causes sorrow.
Sans him, there can be no tomorrow!
Here’s a thought for our Bums:
The Jints are all thumbs –
Do they have a spare he can borrow?

I missed all play on Saturday, both the end of the suspended game and the scheduled game.  I did get to listen to most of Sunday's game. 

IN WHICH I STRUGGLE, AND FAIL, TO WRITE A SUITABLE LIMERICK TO HONOR KURODA’S WONDERFUL PITCHING PERFORMANCE.

The anapest form for Hiroki?

It’s lame.  Doesn’t fit.  Kinda jokey.

A thought -- (here’s my tactic) –

His name’s amphibrachic!

Hmm.  Maybe he’ll settle for trochee.

ROSTER CRUNCHES HAVE A WAY OF WORKING THEMSELVES OUT, ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE GUY REALLY DOESN’T PITCH WELL AT ALL

You can blame pitcher John all you wanna,

Results? Well, yeah, duh, not nirvana.

Though the reason we lost

Was the offense got crossed

You can bet – oh for sure – he’s a gonna.

I went to bed at 11-something, thinking for sure the game would be suspended at that time.  How foolish I was.  The fact that they couldn't finish it up even after 1 am is the pits.  Oh well, at least I get to see the end of it in a few hours.

Suspended? Well, ain’t that the crumbs.
It fits for a team that’s all thumbs.
A ballgame’s beginning
Without the ninth inning --
Like sex, but when nobody 

This wasn't what I was promised!  The literature clearly stated the pitching would be awesome and they'd have trouble scoring runs! 

What a frustrating game, only to surpass all of its previous frustrations in the final inning.  Nothing else to say.

Oh well.  Off tomorrow, reset the system and get the Padres. 

Here's imagining Colletti looks at what he said about Kemp last year and thinks it's time to trot out a similar rant against today's SP. 

Below average.  He on marijuana?
He use up all of his mana?
Or does he feel
That with his new deal
That he should be dating Rihanna?

What are the chances that, come the end of the year, Kershaw will deserve the Cy Young, but will not get the award due to historically bad run  support?  I dunno, maybe I'm wrong.  Not about teh run support -- that's a given -- but the voters' willingness to overlook a crappy offense.  If King Felix and Granick can win, so can the Minotaur.

Here's a limerick about the bright side of losing: that is, losing quickly. 

I'd rather they won; that would rock.
Scoring no runs is a crock.
But a shutout instead?
Well, at least I'm in bed
And I'm sleeping before nine o'clock.

That was a fun game, once we were settled.  Did 50,000 people really want that freakin' ugly Dodger snuggie? 

I missed the excitement of the first inning, and I was impressed by Kuroda mowing 'em down.  Got a scare in the eighth but good to know that we can always count on Tejada to pop up the first pitch after Gurrier walked one dude to load the bases and walked the next dude to force in a run.  Thank you, Miguel.  You were almost the subject of today's limerick.  But I am lazy and your name is difficult to rhyme ("Luke, I am your fadda?"  Hmm.)  So we'll join the Aubrey Huff pig pile instead.

The Giants got tripped up and crossed.

They bobbed, and they dove, and they tossed.

Here's a cookie, that's tough.

They’d leave in a Huff

But that guy would just get them lost.

I missed just about all of today's game.  Sounds like I missed nothing good.  It's behind us, and good riddance.  I will be at the stadium tomorrow and bringing just about everybody who is related to me. 

The grammar in today's limerick is a little off, and making the rhyme work means mangling a famous quote.  Forgive me.  It's a 10-run loss.  I'm not too inspired. 

Roosevelt, famous for bluster:
“Speak soft; carry all you can muster.”
These were no Teddy Bears:
The big sticks were theirs.
He was less Teddy R and more Custer.

What a fun win tonight.  Made us sweat a bit but that's OK. Too bad about Belt but if he is as good as we are hearing, well, good players will do that.  I have not been a believer in Hector Gimenez (and I'm still not!) but it all worked out OK tonight, so tonight's poem is dedicated to the one and only Vector.

Gimenez, he dribbled a bit.
Dodger fans lost all their shit.
But then, the trajectory,
Suddenly, Vectory!
Look at that!  Game-tying hit.

I plan to write one poem for each game the Dodgers play this year.  These will be mostly limericks, but who knows?  You may find yourself with a double dactyl.  These words exist to get me up to the 75  word count minimum.

Today's limerick is titled:

OH WAIT, I FORGOT ABOUT KERSHAW.

The Dodgers would seem, on their face,

To have just no chance in this race.

Yes, this I believe --

But what they could achieve

If only the Bums had an ace!

Hello, Yankee fans.  I'm Humma Kavula, a Dodger fan from True Blue LA.

I hear tell that Russell Martin is in the best shape of his life.

I guess that's better than in 2009, when he took up yoga and credited his girlfriend with a new outlook on taking care of himself.

And it's certainly better than in 2010, when he came to camp having gained 25 pounds of muscle!

Yes, certainly, this time, Russell Martin is in the best shape of his life.

What a disappointing season this has been, for all the reasons that have been hashed out.  The question is now where do we go from here?

Continue reading this post »

I mentioned this in yesterday's game thread but I think it got lost.

The Baseball Project, a side band for members of REM and The Minus Five, had a great album last year filled with songs about the game.  I loved it...

...they have some new songs out that you can download for free... including a tribute to Jose Lima.  I really like this stuff.  Check it out.  Linky:

http://thebaseballproject.bandcamp.com/album/broadside-ballads

Put this in the comments but didn't want it to get lost.  I don't really have any thoughts on the matter, but I have to write at least 75 words before it'll let me publish this.  Fifty-one?  You mean I have to keep typing?  Come on, I have things to do. 68 69 70 71 72 and we're done.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/12/sports/baseball/12baseball.html?hp

Posnanski:

http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2010/06/21/the-five-run-system/#more-3646

The Los Angeles Dodgers (25-11) have been dreadful in five run games but they are playing well enough in the rest of their games to stay competitive. They figure to get better and I suppose that when it’s all done they will probably win the National League West.

If you'd asked me a week ago, I'd have said that the Dodgers were getting ready to play worse.  Between May 27 and June 9, they played 11 one-run games and won 9 of them.  That's a bit of streaky luck that's likely to even out at some point.  However, I admit that I didn't consider the other end of the scale -- how have the Dodgers done when scoring a lot of runs?  So, I found this interesting and full of hope.

However, later in the piece, Posnanski has this:

The Diamondbacks (24-11) and Royals (20-10) are terrible in part because they can’t win enough of their five-run games.

The Dodgers and D-Backs have nearly identical records when scoring five or more. But the Dodgers are contending and the D-Backs are not... primarily due to the Dodgers' excellent record in one-run games. 

That's a cold bucket of ice water.  Why should the Dodgers expect to improve?  Why shouldn't the D-Backs expect to get even a little better, considering how "unlucky" they've been in both one-run games and games in which they score five?

What do you guys think?  If the Dodgers keep playing the way they've been playing, can they expect their record to get better, worse, or about the same?