What a season. 3 of us have earned our champion title to put in our sig. Let's see who ended this wonderful journey that included me delivering my own daughter this season (no, Meiz, I will never shut up about that. It's going on my resume):

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So much has let to led to this weekend. Three games to determine who gets that sweet sweet title to put in their sig tag as the Kreigers/Archers/Swansons champions. So let's break down the matchups.

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Since life gets in the way, I haven't been as involved in the writeups for BCB Fantasy Football this year, but that's cool because we've had a phenomenal year.  I would like to take a moment to give you some play by play on how my team in the Archer league:

It's the 4th quarter in last nights game and I have a 33 point lead on CheezConQueso, and had a 45 point lead entering the game.  Eli opens the quarter up by sending a 73 yard bomb to Victor cruz.  This accounts for 21 points to put Cheez within striking distance, but I'm still comfortable.  The game is out of hand, and the Giants should fold.  What does that son of a bitch Coughlin do?  He has ELI throwing all quarter, and he throws his 2nd TD of the quarter to Cruz with 5 minutes left in the game.  WHAT KIND OF BULLSH IS THIS?!?  I get beat because of two garbage time TDs.  Hats off to you Cheez, but Eli and Victor Cruz can go die of chemical burn.

Anyway, let's update your playoff picture.  I'll start with the Swansons:

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I didn't have time for a weekly recap, sorry. In exchange for that, here's a semi-sfw link to a gallery of pictures of Kat Dennings. Back to business.  We are 4 (including this week) weeks away from wrapping up the regular season and starting the playoffs.  So let's look at where each league is, and how far people are out.  Remember, each division winner gets a top 2 spot, and the rest fall in line behind there.

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So I'm about 3 and a half weeks from having kid #2, and you would not believe all the crap that entails.  Throw in the fact that it was the wife's birthday weekend, and I barely had time to fit in the Packer game and catch up on the Walking Dead.  Anyway, I wasn't able to follow through on my promise of new power Ranks, so... sorry?  I will have them tomorrow at lunch.  I may even get a mid-season review done.  So we'll talk about that.  Anyway, feel free to express yourself about your team here.  I'll be around with some hearty FUs to my squad as well.  In fact, since I haven't made the word count yet, let's start with my entire Kriegers team:

0 Touchdowns?!?  You guys couldn't manage a single touchdown all week?  That's just awful.

But not as awful as the Oakland Raiders Defense.  I bet big against Tebow this week, starting the Raiders in a couple leagues, and they couldn't stop that guy at all.  Seriously, he has the worst throwing motion since Jamarcus, he has little pocket presence (see 14 sacks taken in the previous two games) AND YOU GUYS GIVE UP 38 POINTS AGAINST THAT ASSHAT?!?  WTF MAN?!?

Please take note that I did not make a disparaging remark against the man's religion or his following.  The fact is that a man's religion is his business, and not for anyone to judge.  Except Scientologists, they are just idiots. 

Good morning guys.  Nothing like a bye week to get you re-invigorated! Here's a place for you to write down your thoughts on your team, and spread your hate across the board.  I have some wonderful hate to dish out to my Kriegers squad:

Joeseph Addai- Oh how I hate you so.  You are active, and yet are benched behind another failed first rounder in Donald Brown, and Delone Carter, some fuckwad from syracuse.  Do you know the awkward and creative ways I want you to die?  I saw this clip from the New Nightmare on Elmstreet reboot where this chick rips off her lower jaw.  It was nasty to say the least, but you know what, that's what you deserve.  So f*ck you and your healthy scratch ways.  I hope you get diabetes.

Jermaine Gresham- A late scratch.  FOR A BYE WEEK REPLACEMENT?!?  ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS PLAY THIS WEEK!!!  That's all I've asked of you.  AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT!!! UGH!!! Go get donkey herpes.

Anyway, there's your jumpoff.  I hope to have time to write a recap, but it's unlikely.  At the very least, I will post the updated power ranks tomorrow.  Have fun.

I've been busy, so here are the ranks through Week 5.  Tapmoney has been running away from this field with an amazing squad including 3 of the top 5 backs in Fantasy. 

I will need guest writeups next week (I got this week).  So just email me and let me know you want to do it, or put it in the comments.  Enjoy the game tonight.

The MLB Scheduling gods screwed us today.  Because the Eagles have a game in Philly in the same area as the Phillies ballpark, we are forced to DVR the Packer game so we can watch the Brewers game in its entirety.  I feel slighted, and will be writing Bud to express my dual citizenship of both Brewer and Packer fan nation, and how I shouldn't have to use the greatest invention since air conditioning.  Anyway, let's preview.  It'll be brief like last week, except where I feel commentary is necessary.

BREAKING NEWS: MARQUES COLSTON IS PLAYING

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What a week.  We had some of the worst performances of the year.  Some unexpected, some called here.  Let's just get down to it and see what happened.

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It is time for football gentlemen.  Just some updates I'll pass along:

Peyton Hillis is out today.

Miles Austin is out and dez probably won't play for tomorrow night's game.  Though it looks like Romo and Felix are going to play.

And really, it just comes down to smack.  So I'll get things rolling:

Zora- if you think you can start the Broncos 2nd receiver and those weak sause RBs and beat me, you've lost your damn mind.

Ryan- Espin predicts 23 points for Chris Johnson.  I predict he'll be ass, and you will lose.

trippinandy- You are putting your team's fortunes into the hands of Early Ducet?  Wow... EASIEST WIN OF THE YEAR FOR ME!!!

So have fun with it.  don't try to do too much with it.  And just remember, no matter what happens today, THE BREWERS ARE STILL NL CENTRAL CHAMPIONS!!! YEAH BABY!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the games guys.  

I really don't have time to do a full write up on each individual game, so here are the matchups.  Feel free to write your own previews for your league or even just your game.

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OK, so the fanpost editor isn't working.  Therefore, risking a berating from Kyle (justifed), here are your power rankings.  Saltire is at the top with two stellar weeks in a row. 

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What a wonderful weekend to continue our Fantasy Football Journey together.  BTW, Kyle has expressed some rather open hostility towards this entire venture.  I understand his reasoning, like that we're mouth breathers who care more about our teams than we do actual teams.  Kyle sounds very similar to Mitch Albom.  Now I'm sure he's flattered to be compared to Mitch, but... Well, I'll just let Ken and Junior take care of Mitch. 

The people who don't get and therefore rip fantasy sports are worse than those who rip blogs.  It is a game guys.  It's not where our rooting intrests lie.  It's not like we're holed up in our mother's basement expousing an opinion (heh).  Seriously, blogs exist because they look at columnists and reporters, and think, "Hey, I'm smarter than this asshole," and they're right. 

Fantasy sports exists because the game is fun and we enjoy playing it.  It's harmless, and it's enhancing our enjoyment of the games.  It forces us to pay attention to the whole league, and have a better idea of what's going on out in the football world.  It also allows us to see through the hype and see which players are actually good.  To put it the best way, it allows us to escape the miopic view of sports that all you are allowed to do is follow one team and let others pay attention to their teams.

It has been one the biggest beneficiaries of the stats revolution, and the stats revolution would not have survived if wasn't for Rottisserie baseball players buying up Bill James' books. 

It also allows us to explore our own creativity.  Just look at the names in these leagues.  It's a phenomenal way to spend about an hour and a half a week.  So basically, you want to criticize fantasy sports, fine.  But be prepared for a crotch punch if you demonstrate you do not understand it.

On to the fucking games. 

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I'm going to start by expressing how I feel regarding the Brewers right now.  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  BRAUNY FOR MVP!!!  5 LEFT CARDS UNTIL YOU SEE YOUR PRECIOUS PUJOLS GO BYE BYE!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That felt wonderful.  If you have time to write a comment, or fan post, I highly suggest leading with that.

As mentioned in the review of last weeks games, I'm hoping this evolves into our REAL TIME smack/bragging  thread.  Feel free to post your hopes, dreams, ambitions, or psyche destroying smack talk here.  Or just breaking news.  I'll Start:

Albert "I'm Peter King Jr." Breer just tweeted that Santonio Holmes will play this week.  

Adam Shefter just broke that Calvin Johnson is expected to start.  

Ed Werder just reported that Lance Moore is active.  

See how that's done?  Anyway, I have wonderful matchups against Jeo, Tepo, and golfallday.  So to you I wish you luck, and to your receivers, I wish they all get hand AIDS so they can't catch.  BRING IT BOYS!!!

So here we are in week 2.  A lot of action going on during the week, so let's check out the games.

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Instead of wasting your time with two week playoffs for a 14 team league, we got our shit handled!!!! 

Klwillis45's Anything You Cantu I Cantu Better beat Yar Nivek's Royals Yosting on an Open Fire: Two words for you.  Doug Fister (Fister?!? I barely know her!!!).  He put up 57.2 points this week leading the Cantus over the Yostings.  Yar was completely let down by his pitching with CC, Lannon, Henry Sosa, Derek Lowe, and Wade Leblanc all registering negative points.  Felipe Paulino and Dana Eveland put it away for willis on Saturday combining for 54.2 points.  Offensively, the Cantus were lead by Votto, Alejandro De Aza and Angel Pagan.  The Yostings had great efforts from Ian Kinsler, Markakis, Brett Morel, and A-gonz, but it wasn't enough.

So join me in welcoming our new Jan Brady League Overlord klwillis45.  And be sure to put that championship in your sig buddy.  You earned it.

What a way to kickoff the season.  Brady put up huge numbers, Steve Smith isn't dead, and Donovan McNabb is.  Since we have 18 matchups to get to, I just have one note.  Next weekend, I'll post a Fantasy Football open thread for all of you to have wonderful REAL TIME smack talk.  I'm thinking it will either fail miserably, or be epic.  We'll give it a go and see what happens. 

On To The Games!!!!

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I was going through every single game last night seeing if there was any completed so I could write the review today.  Turns out, no.  Not a single game is completed.  Thank you two Monday night games.  Now I could post up every single game and show who has who left, but frankly, that's a lot of work and I haven't had my coffee yet.  Instead, I was inspired my post was this tweet from Meiz.  For those too lazy to click on a link, let me put the contents in a box for you.

I'll be giving out weekly fantasy football Fuck Yous this season.

In the spirit of this, I present to you the Fantasy Football HATE Thread.  This is where you can plainly lay out your Fuck Yous, various diseases (preferably with an animal modifyer), and ways of becoming not alive on your OWN players.  The reason for your own is because home is where the hate is.  I'm sure you could really hate the shit out of your own family if you were so inclined. 

I will start off since I have 3 teams of hating goodness. 

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I'll be honest, I won't have time to do this every week.  BUT, I do have time this week, so why not preview ALL 3 LEAGUES in one post.

Let's get right to it...

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It was an exciting weekend in BCB Fantasy Sports.  3 Fantasy Football Drafts, and the semi-finals in the 3 Fantasy Baseball Leagues.  Let's see who's gonna be in contention for that sweet sweet sig of Jan Brady League Champion!

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I'll just start by saying I hate my team more than having crabs.  I've never had crabs, but I'm pretty sure I'd hate my team more than that.  Feel free to post your thoughts on the rounds/teams in the comments.  As always, I'll have my analysis later.

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A GREAT time was had by all.  The chat thread had almost everything, from offered oral pleasure to the entire league for letting a player drop, to someone getting Jay Cutler Autopicked for them.  It was phenomenal.  9 of 12 showed, and it seemed those that didn't properly pre-ranked, so this'll be a great time.  Here are the rounds, and I'll analyze in the comments.  Feel free to do the same.  BTW, the Packers D went in the 6th of this one.  Figure that shit out.

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The first draft is done, with 6 of the 12 members showing.  But, most people pre-ranked their picks, so it wasn't too bad.  Here is how the rounds broke down.  Go ahead and make your analysis in the comments.  I'll write my analysis later in the comments.

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For the Kriegers and Swansons anyway.  Kriegers at 4:30, Swansons at 1.  Tomorrow at 2:30 is when the Archers draft.  So bring your lists, and your cups, because I do plan on ripping bad picks to shreds.  Just a reminder who is where... Here is who you'll be drafting against...

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Time for a mea culpa.  I have committed a fantasy faux pas (a latin and a french phrase in 2 sentences, UP TOP!).  I ignored my team for the last 4 weeks of the season.  I kitton mittoned my team.  And they reacted rebelliously by tanking the finaly 4 weeks as well.  To the players, I say I'm sorry.  To the opponents, you're welcome. 

But what has been slightly more forgivable is the fact that I've been slacking off on the Jan Brady League updates.  Throw in job, pregnant wife (27 weeks along now, and we're going to have a little girl), a 16 month old, my sister's wedding, a 2 week case of bronchitis, organizing 4 fantasy football leagues, and just general need for things like sleep, and you come up with not taking the 45 minutes a week it takes to write this article.  Some of you might be pissed at this.  To those, I have some nuts you can suck.  I was busy, sue me.

So let's check out who made the playoffs, and who has moved on to the second round!

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I am too excited for this upcoming draft.  Reason being is because I spent last weekend in the joyous confines that is the Milwaukee Metro Area, and spent this past week pretty much on my deathbed with a cold that would kill lesser men.  BUT the cold is gone now with the exception of some good lung butter, and it's time to make sure we're ready for the phenomenal event that is BCB Fantasy Football.  

With this being said, one of our brave souls that volunteered has yet to throw his team up on the board.  Olyknows, I know you are around, you threw up a comment yesterday.  I have sent you 3 invites to the email your brother gave me.  If this isn't the right email, it's still your fault since I was chasing emails at least 3 weeks ago.  You have until Tuesday to sign up, or Wednesday, you will be replaced.  

Now for those of you interested to get in on the ridiculousness that is BCB Fantasy Football, I have one conditional slot open if Oly doesn't show.  If you want in, the draft will be next Saturday for the BCB Swansons league at 1:00 CST.  Send me your email at hyattff2003 AT yahoo DOT com.  We want you in.  We NEED you in.  If you think you have what it takes to rip your commissioner mercilessly as he struggles with a sick pregnant wife and a mischievious 16 month old, then bring it.  This goes true for you Ted Simmons Speed Camp (probably the best BCB handle ever) and you too MolitorFan.

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All emails are gotten so I was able to send out invites today.  Be sure to check your inboxes!  We have 3 x 12 team leagues.  Players were assigned to a league based on random number generation. They are broken down as follows:

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