SB Nation User Blog: IFChris

ESPN put together a good piece on Chris.

IFChris — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:30:07 -0000

ESPN put together a good piece on Chris.

Merry Christmas From the Bengals Linebackers

IFChris — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:36:02 -0000

Simply awesome. Happy Holidays, boys and girls.

H/t to Sporting News for the vid.

Chad's Sombrero Celebration

IFChris — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:25:49 -0000

Last week, Chad Ochocinco (I don't like typing that anymore) joked about the passing game opening up a little more, and lo and behold, it did. At least for him. Chad finished with nine catches for 137 yards and a touchdown. To wit, Carson Palmer finished the game only throwing for 220, meaning over half of his production came courtesy of "Esteban," who, in an effort to appeal to our Hispanic Bengal fans, lived up to one of his many namesakes by donning a sombrero and a matching poncho to celebrate his TD grab.

Good times for those of us who have been missing Chad's touchdown celebrations (guilty).

No doubt a fine will be handed down from Roger Goodell and his crew later this week. Anyone want to make a guess on the amount? I'm saying it will be more the $50K.

Speaking of unpleasant financial situations, starring our talented wide receiver, Chad is also being sued for apparently defaulting on a car loan.

The player was sued Friday in Hamilton County Common Pleas Court by Daimler Chrysler Financial Services, accused of not paying for his 2008 Dodge Challenger.

Ochocinco bought the car Aug. 12, 2008, using his former name, Chad Johnson.

He paid $55,5487.35 for the vehicle but put $20,000 down on it, getting a loan for $37,975 for the car he bought from Northgate Chrysler Jeep.

The suit accuses him of being in default on the loan, having paid $3,200 on the car in 13 months.

It claims he owes $34,709.72 on that loan plus 15 percent interest annually from Sept. 10, 2009, likely the last payment the company received on the car. His monthly payments are $847.11.

So that's why he legally changed his name from "Johnson" to "Ochocinco." Finally, the truth comes out. All so he could defraud on a car loan. For shame. Granted, Chad could probably pay that $35 or so thousand with one of his game day checks, so I'm not sure why he wasted his time defaulting.

Oddly enough, the news of Chad's automotive financial "trouble" also sheds light on him and Marvin Lewis discussing smart ways to invest money during HBO's Hard Knocks. Obviously, Chad not only needs a financial adviser, said confidant should also be adapt in total account management.

Ticket Update: 24-Hour Extension

IFChris — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:03:49 -0000

If you guys want to watch the Bengals play Detroit on TV Sunday, you better tell your rich friends to buy up the rest of the remaining tickets, otherwise, all of us will be running around, screaming for active streams. Thanks to the 24-hour extension, there's still time to act.

Who knows? Maybe Ocho or perhaps Kroger can again salvage Cincinnati's 50-straight regular season sell out streak (Alliteration For The Win!). Or hell, how about everybody's favorite anti-hero, Larry Johnson? He's still got that Kansas City money and since he's so eager to turn over a new leaf and show everybody just how awesome he really is, this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

If LJ can help us avoid a blacked-out game, I might even come off of my high horse about him. Doubtful, but there's certainly a chance.

Chad Ochocinco Jokes About More Passes

IFChris — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:48:40 -0000

Now that the Cincinnati Bengals have their running game humming along at a good pace -- one that's bound to improve now that Ced the Pred is back -- Chad wants the Bob Bratkowski to throw a bone, and the ball, to the receivers a little bit more.

If, by a little bit, I mean 50 times a game, that is.

In what is being deemed as joke by the Bengals.com writers, Chad actually did say something along the lines of "now that running game is going, it's time to start passing the receivers the ball more." Taking the approach that winning cures all ills -- something Chad himself indicated on his Twitter account -- Chad mentioned the staff couldn't ignore the receivers for three games in a row:

"I'm not going to let them treat us like that for three straight games," he said of his receivers. "We won the game. We had a wonderful day on the ground. Bernard Scott and Larry Johnson played extremely well. I asked for us to run the ball. This basically solidifies us being able to run the ball right now. It helps us once we do get to the playoffs.

"Now next week things are going to have to change. The roles need to be reversed. I'm speaking on behalf of myself and the receiving corps. We would like to throw the ball 50 times. I just want to relay that message."

Granted, after a two week accumulation of seven receptions for 105 yards, a total he can achieve in one half of football, I could understand Chad wanting the ball more. Thankfully, he's not going about it in an "I'll undermine the team" way and is making jokes about it.

Obviously, even Ocho knows the only way the Bengals will throw the ball over 50 times is if they are down by a bunch of points and a Carson Palmer-style air-it-out fest is the only way to get back in the game. However, while the comments came off as playful, I have zero doubt Chad wants to see the ball thrown his way a little bit more.

Furthermore, he hasn't had a touchdown since his two scores against the Chicago Bears. This means if he wants to exhaust the money he set aside for fines, he needs to find his way to the end zone a few more times before the season ends.

I, for one, have no problem admitting I miss seeing his touchdown celebrations.

Oh, and yes, that is Ocho's foot getting a massage. Considering how important feet are to receivers, I found that picture quite fitting.

Happy Black Friday From Chad

IFChris — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:41:35 -0000

If you've been out shopping after yesterday's feast, you were not alone. Our hero, Chad Ochocinco, was with you in spirit as well. I just want to say, that's a damn smart Snuggie, Chad. Well done. And look, it was only $5 as well. Did you get yours?

After Ocho's got finished chasing good sales, it was on to practice and preperation for the Cleveland Browns.

Here's hoping the Oakland loss still stings to the point where the Bengals take out all their frustrations out on Brady Quinn and company. In other news, is it me, or does Chad look like one of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars?

H/t to Sports Pros(e) for the find.

Bernard Scott's Beastly Return

IFChris — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:43:26 -0000

There's a little bit of contention going around CJ, thanks in large part to the Larry Johnson signing and the residual fallout. With that in mind, I thought it might be prudent to lighten the mood around here by posting the video of Bernard Scott's awesome kick off return against the Pittsburgh Steelers. As we all know, it was the game's only touchdown, and because it was so essential to the Bengals victory, it needs to be celebrated -- especially in light of the newest acquisition.

The best part of Scott's return, besides him crossing the goal line, has to be Steelers kicker Jeff Reed's "attempt" to "tackle" Scott. Granted, kickers aren't usually known as the best tackler, but that was just poor. It would've been better if Reed simply escorted Scott to the end zone, for all the good his bullfighter approach to tackling did.

One last thing, make sure to look for Quan Cosby knocking the stuffing out of Stefan Logan right before Scott goes into score. It's around the 18 or 19 second mark.

Care to Repeat That, Terry?

IFChris — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:04:40 -0000

Um, you were saying Terry? Would you like to repeat those sentiments about Cincinnati's chances against your beloved Steelers? Don't get me wrong, I still think Howie Long would whip your behind, but hell, since you were so damn incorrect about the Bengals, perhaps you should just reach over and smack Howie in the mouth next Sunday.

Take a chance.

It couldn't be any worse than your Bengals/Steelers "prediction."

Here's a Rumor I Do NOT Support

IFChris — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 02:37:38 -0000

More photos » by Charlie Riedel - AP

about 1 month ago: FILE -- This is a Sept. 20, 2009, file photo showing Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson during the fourth quarter of an NFL football game against the Oakland Raiders, in Kansas City, Mo. The Kansas City Chiefs have released troubled running back Larry Johnson. A two-paragraph statement from the team Monday, Nov. 9, 2009, simply listed Johnson's statistics and announced his release. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File)

Browse more photos »

OK, Cedric Benson, I understand, but if this particular rumor comes to fruition, you'll never hear the end of it from me. Apparently, Mike Brown is interested in disgraced Kansas City Chief running back, Larry Johnson. Let me be clear here, in no way is this a good idea. Absolutely zero. If you want to give Cedric Benson a breather -- and folks, the team has been riding him a great deal -- Brian Leonard or Bernard Scott are quite capable, and aren't nearly the headache Johnson has shown to be.

Sure, folks are allowed second chances in life, but as a resident of Kansas City, and therefore front and center for much of Johnson's shenanigans, he's already had them. Trust me. There's nothing else he brings to the table that justifies signing he and his 2.7 yards per carry to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Johnson is not a positive influence on the locker room.

Johnson is not a positive role model for the community.

Johnson's paltry performance does not merit signing him. In no way.

Josh and I have already written about Johnson for another publication, and he's a little more forgiving than I am. Don't get me wrong, as a single NFL running back who's supposed to be King Ding-a-Ling in KC, I'd probably get pissed if this lady turned me down -- but I don't think I'd spit a drink in her face as a response. Oh, and for those of you wondering, I'd feel the same if this was the 1700-yards/double-digit-touchdowns Larry Johnson we were talking about.

Cincinnati has a wonderful thing going. Furthermore, they struck gold with Cedric Benson (and Dhani Jones, Roy Williams, Chris Crocker, etc) but at some point, that well -- or mine, if you will -- is going to dry up and the returns could be less than desired. Judging by experience, Johnson represents one too many chances of trying to spin straw into gold.

The Bengals have plenty of depth at running back. Adding Johnson to the mix is not worth jeopardizing the precious chemistry the team has established this far.

Chad Fined for Attempted "Bribe"

IFChris — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:44:45 -0000

Want to offer an official a one dollar "bribe" so maybe he'll make a call in your way -- or just to do so in a playful manner? That'll cost you. A lot, in fact. Just ask Chad Ochocinco, the proud new owner of a $20,000 fine, courtesy of King Roger Goodell and his band of enforcers. Apparently, when Ocho used the word "bribe" to describe his actions, his fate was sealed.

Granted, the bribe was just another shenanigan in a long line of Chadisms, something he acknowledges by saying, "I was just being me. I wasn't going to do it for real." Obviously, that matters little to Goodell and company, who plainly don't want anyone to think NFL referees are anyway influenced by players or particular game situations.

With that in mind, does anyone know the spread for Sunday's game against Pittsburgh?

One more note about Chadwick's fine -- apparently, he knew about it before today and was told not to tweet about it, which brings up a follow-up question: Why the subterfuge? What does Goodell have to gain by telling Ocho not to say anything about his fine? Why is it so important the league office breaks the news? Seems like a case of excessive micromanagement to me.