SB Nation User Blog: IanB in MD

NY Mets: 2025

IanB in MD — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:25:11 -0000

NOTE: Last night while attending the Mets game in Washington, my brother (Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright) and I thought about the future of the Mets. This is one thing we thought might happen.

The Year: 2025, the day after the Wilpons sell the team
The Place: Citi Field
The Event: Cleaning out the old offices
Characters: Mets new owner, Trainor Allinson Braindington (Canadian millionaire) and his accountant, Phil.

TAB: Phil, have you finished looking over the books?

Phil: Very nearly, Mr. Braindington.

TAB: Good. Anything strange?

Phil: One or two things.

TAB: What are they?

Phil: First of all, nothing in Mr. Wilpon's file cabinet has a Mets logo on it.

TAB: What?

Phil: Look at this...and this...(Hands him papers.)

TAB: The letter head says "The New-New York Dodgers Baseball Club"

Phil: Strange, no?

TAB: Sure is, eh.

Phil: And there is this other thing. In the personnel file there is one player who's been paid every two weeks since 2008.

TAB: A secretary? I thought they all quit in 2016 when Bernazard stopped wearing pants to work.

Phil: No, it is someone named "Storks."

TAB: What? Who is Storks?

Phil: The file says "Storks", but all the checks are issued to someone named "Brian Stokes"

TAB: He's been out of baseball for years.

Phil: Yes. He retired after winning the Cy Young Award three times as a closer for the Phillies.

TAB: He was amazing, wasn't he?

Phil: You can say that again. Anyway, he's been paid by the Mets for years - even after they ditched him in Atlanta in September '09 when he got stranded by the team bus in Atlanta after they mistook one of the bat boys for him during the head count.

TAB: Oh yeah. They left the stadium withouth him. Jerry and Omar claimed that they had never heard of him before, so Selig let him sign with the Phillies.

Phil: You have a great memory, sir.

TAB: Thank you. So this guy's been getting a check every since.

Phil: Yes. No one told the accountants to stop cutting checks. There's even a response to a memo from Omar that states "Why does everyone keep bringing up this Stukes guy?"

TAB: Well, let's give him a call and stop cutting checks.

Phil: Will do, sir.

The Onion tells of Mr. Met's troubles this week

IanB in MD — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:07:22 -0000

The Onion tells of Mr. Met's troubles this week

Those kids at the Onion did it again!

"While Mr. Met has admitted that he is not yet accustomed to Citi Field, team members have said they are already feeling very much at home in the new ballpark after losing their first game to the Padres."

Winter Training for Fans - Read a Book

IanB in MD — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:11:48 -0000

Gang,

Do you think the last two seasons were terrible? So do I, but 2008 and 2007 were not the only seasons that made the New York Mets a joke. Think about 1962. That year pretty much set a standard for Mets - and Mets fans - for all time.

After that terrible season, Jimmy Breslin wrote a book, "Can't Anybody Here Play This Game?" I would call it essential reading for any Mets fan - especially before the start of a season. Here's a quote from the first chapter:

"This, then, is the way the first year of the New York Mets went. It was a team that featured three twenty-game losers, an opening day outfield that held the all-time major-league record for fathering children (nineteen), a defensive catcher who couldn't catch, and an over-all collection of strange players who performed strange feats. Yet is was absolutely wonderful. People loved it. The Mets gathered about them a breed of baseball fans who quite possibly will m ake you forget the characters who once made Brooklyn's Ebbets Field a part of this country's folklore. The Mets' fans are made of the same things."

I first read this book back in the late-80's. It was on the bookshelf at home. Neither of my folks are Mets fans, but my Dad is a New Yorker, and probably read Breslin for years. Being a Mets fan, I pulled that book out and gobbled it down. Since then I may have read the book once or twice. After the mess that was 2008, I think it's time to read it again.

After I'm done, I will post a review for you folks. Then, I would like to read another Mets related book. The only other Mets book I own is "Bats" by Davey Johnson (about the 1985 season.) Are there other good books about the Mets - early days or modern-times? Sure, I could look it up on the Internet, but I'd prefer to get some recs from the gang at AA. Thanks in advance, people.

AA Days at Camden Yards, June 16-18

IanB in MD — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 01:53:11 -0000

Happy New Year!

Notice to AA folks in the mid-Atlantic region: For the first time in a long time, our New York Mets are playing baseball in Baltimore. I live in Baltimore, so I'm ten kinds of excited.

The Mets are coming to play the O's on Tue-Thu, June 16-18. All games start at 7:05 pm. I think Mets fans in the mid-Atlantic region should think about getting together to enjoy the lovely stadium in Charm City.

Anyone interested in going to a game should let me know. I can get some tickets lined up on each night. I plan on being there, anyway, so I might as well have some company.

(The same month, the Mets are coming to Washington on June 5-7 for a weekend series. I think my brother, Catsmeat PP, will be the for a couple games with me and maybe some of my loser friends who decided they are Nats fans. If there is interest in that game, maybe I can work on something for that.)

Mr. Met Takes Frustrations Out on Fans

IanB in MD — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:14:45 -0000

Mr. Met Takes Frustrations Out on Fans

Most of the fans who deserve a beating leave before the 7th inning.

Late Notice: Pre-Game Beer, Anyone?

IanB in MD — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:28:13 -0000

Hey, my wife and I are in town for tonight's game. It'll be my last game at Shea Stadium. (Awwww.) Anyway, we are going to stop by the Gaslight Bar at 4317 Queens Boulevard for a couple of drinks before the game. We should be there around 5:30 or so, depending on how quickly we travel from the Upper West Side.

My brother, that jerk Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright, met kingcritical and his brother there last month. It is a fine place for a pre-game beer.

I will be wearing a Mets hat and a Mr. Met tee-shirt. My wife will have a pair of crutches near her.

If I don't meet anyone there, then Let's Go Mets!

Magic Numbers Are People, Too: 2008 Edition

IanB in MD — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:18:15 -0000

In 2006 I created the first Mets-by-the-uniform-numbers "Magic Number" countdown. I think it was fun. By my breakdown, today we are at 16, Doc Gooden. After the jump (if I did this correctly) you can find the whole post, which has been modified to reflect the current team a bit...

Let's be real, people, the Mets don't win the NL East every day, so we need to have some good fun with it. (Mr. Met gave me the idea back in '06, BTW.)

So here's my human countdown:

16 - Doc Gooden
15 - CarlosB
14 - Gil Hodges
13 - Wags
12 - Ron Darling
11 - Super Joe (Tim Teufel, Tim Bogar, HIPPO!)
10 - ND Chavez (Rusty Staub)
9 - Todd Hundley (Gregg Jefferies)
8 - Gary Carter
7 - Professor Reyes
6 - Nick Evans (Wally Backman)
5 - Baseball Jesus (Tsuyoshi Shinjo)
4 - Ron Swoboda (Rusty Staub)
3 - Rafael Santana
2 - Marv Throneberry
1 - Mookie Wilson
00 - Mr. Met!

Let me know what you think. I will edit the list to include other names worthy of inclusion. (Optional choices will be in parentheses.)

Who is next?

IanB in MD — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:56:45 -0000

Alright, people, who do you think should replace Willie for the long-term?

Keith Hernandez? Larry Bowa? Wally Backman? Don Zimmer? Barry Bonds (player-coach)? Art Howe? Davey Johnson?

In my heart, I want to see Bobby V. come back to town. It's not gonna happen, but maybe what I really want is someone with his qualities (he encouraged the rivalry with the Braves, which was great.)

To encourage discussion, argument and cheap-shooting, I'll give you my top-three. Please feel free to do the same:

1. Jerry Manuel (If the Mets play .550 or better the rest of the way, then maybe he earned it.)
2. Buck Showalter
3. Bobby V

Need a pitcher or wine expert?

IanB in MD — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:32:41 -0000

Our old friend Steve Trachsel is available! The Mets can return to having wine-tastings on out-of-town trips, and they would have a proven-veteran only a couple years removed from a 15-win season.

I'm sure he can win his first couple NL starts, and that should do wonders for his trade-value. Some GM out there must be aching for a Vargas-Trachsel-Figeuroa trade on their resume, right? What is Omar's phone number?

Magic Numbers Are People, Too

IanB in MD — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 01:22:26 -0000

Let's be real, people, the Mets don't win the NL East every day, so we need to have some good fun with it. Reading Mr. Met's post today I got an idea - magic numbers are our heroes. Today, with a magic number at 17, the Mets are Keith Hernandez away.

So here's my human countdown - with current Mets getting preference over history - below the fold.

16 - Duke
15 - CarlosB
14 - Gil Hodges
13 - Wags
12 - Ron Darling
11 - Hippo
10 - ND
9 - Tood Hundley
8 - Gary Carter
7 - Professor Reyes
6 - Mike DiFelice
5 - Baseball Jesus
4 - Woody
3 - Rafael Santana
2 - Marv Throneberry
1 - Mookie Wilson
00 - Mr. Met!

(And...looking at the Phils 4-0 lead tonight, the Mets are gonna be at Duke tomorrow.)

Let me know what you think.