SB Nation User Blog: Idog1976

Don't push me cause, I'm close to the Ledge (Blazers song)

Idog1976 — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:49:06 -0000

Sometimes the best way to deal with grief and beat down is through art. Here is my homage to Grandmaster Flash, The Sugar Hill Gang and this horrible, HORRIBLE season.

If you want to repost this elsewhere please give me credit. Without further ado:

"Bill Simmons Delight"

by the Sugar Bill Gang (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)

Or

"The Therapeutic Massage"

by Grandmaster Flesh Wound (Aka Idog1976 aka Ian)

Coach Nate Dogg:

I said a hip hop the hippie to the hip hip hop

A you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie

I say up jumped the injury boogie

and left and right the knees go kablooie

To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat down commencing

It’s as though the god of injury can’t stop dispensing.

To the black and red and the white it’s true,

And now the whole of Blazer nation is blue.

Now what you hear is not a test--Blazers getting beat it’s an injury fest!

And that jack-hole Bill Simmons is puffing out his chest.

See the Blazers rock but the injuries got em beat

I really can’t stand to read Canzano’s tweets.

See i am wondering Is Durant mike and GO that Bowie fellow?

I like to say hello to the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and Yellow.

You see that’s the Blazer colors with some serious bruise action,

There ain’t one single rip city fan getting any satisfaction.

But first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie

say up jump the injury boogie to the bang bang kneecap Kablooie!

Let's rock, you dont stop rock the riddle

Something in our water makes your body so damn brittle

Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

Well so far youve heard my voice but i brought some friends along

To help sing the song.

and next on the mike is my man Steve Blake

Here’s one guy who wants that cake to bake!

Steve Blake:

Check it out, i'm the coach c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a

and Nate he loves me as a point guard playa

ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the fix

On David Stern’s orders Nate keeps me in the mix.

Ya see i'm six foot one and i'm tons of fun

and as far as injury free I’m the only one.

Ya see the teams been beat worse then old muhammad ali

and the injury bug bites so damn viciously!

We got body casts, i got ten big surgery scars

we got major injuries to most of our stars!

I got a lincoln continental and a sunroof Cadillac

and just watched Oden’s kneecap get whacked.

You know you can’t blame the docs or Corey Maggette,

That poor motha f’er’s got tendons of spaghetti.

Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

Now I gotta pass the mike to my boy KP

Talk about one sorry S.O.B

Kevin Pritchard:

My name is Kevin and once upon a time in 2007, I thought I had landed in GM heaven

The balls they bounced in just the right way,

It was like Ron Jeremy back in the day.

So what do we do, take the no brainer 7 footer,

Or the baby faced bean pole who seemed like a killer?

Well you can honk once or you can honk twice,

But at the end of the day big Paul Allen he buys my rice.

With that said the friendly giant we took,

And now I should be getting a cut from Bill Simmons next book.

The rest as you know is history,

I sure hope someone takes a bat to Bill Simmons knees.

Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

Now I gotta give it up to my man GO.

A hard luck brother who’s gonna give it a go.

He’s a real class act a top shelf bro,

But cruel ass fate has treated him like a ho.

Greg Oden:

Well it's on n on n on on n on

the injury beat dont stop until the break of dawn

I said m-a-s, t-e-r, to the G with a big fat O i said i go by the unforgettable name

but it makes me sick to say that bad luck is what has got me the most fame.

Well, my name is known all over the world, by all the foxy nurses and the pretty surgeons,

Looks like I got plenty of time this season to go fishing for some sturgeons.

I'm goin go down in history

as the unluckiest mofo when it comes to Knees.

Now i'm feelin the highs and ya I’m feelin the lows

I can’t take the court feel like I’m letting down my bros.

Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?]

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

When I look around I see broken bones everywhere

People pissing on my dreams, you know they just don't care

I can't take this hell, I can't take the noise no more

I feel like a god damn media whore.

They use me and abuse me from beginning to end,

Kick me when I’m down no time to mend.

At first they put me up on a pedestal,

Only to rip me down and treat me like hell.

What did I do to Simmons and Cowherd

To get spit on by them media cowards?

You’d think I’d killed the Sports Guy’s mom,

Cause every single article has a GO bomb.

He can’t let it rest, punk puffs out his chest,

Thinks he some kind of later day Nostradamus.

Simmons is a punk and Cowherd is worse,

Every little hangnail and they’re calling for a hearse.

The damndest luck, the freakish kneecap split,

And every damn day sports writer garbage they spit.

But karma comes and karma goes,

Sooner or later it will come back on those ho’s.

When you laugh when a guy blows out his knee,

You know when karma pays you back it won’t be pretty.

Whether it’s Greg Oden, Andrew Bynum or Blake Griffin,

That stupid Celtics fan is always celebratin’.

But you know what happens when you spew that hate?

All you are doing is flipping off fate.

It might take a month it might take a year,

But sooner or later Simmons will take it in the rear.

Got no health to move about, I guess I got no choice

And stupid A** B****s listening to Colin Cowherds stupid voice.

Colin came from Rip City back in the day,

Now he hates on us to make his pay.

I tell you what Colin go ahead and laugh it up,

When it comes to bad karma creating you got a full cup.

Rats in the press room, coaches in the back

Internet bloggers in the alley with the sportswriter baseball bat

I tried to ball all day so I could be a star

But you know man this injury bullshit has gone way too far.

You know this team really needs a boon,

No choice now but to shoot da moon.

Since half our team is unable to ball,

I’m really hoping that we land John Wall.

Chorus: Don't push me cause I'm close to the ledge

I'm trying not to read Blazers Edge, ah huh-huh-huh [2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh] [4th: say what?] The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

The NBA is like David Sterns jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

just what the NBA refs are betting on the over/under

Quick simple trade question for ya'll.

Idog1976 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:54:00 -0000

Hi there, I was here a bit during the Houston vs. Portland series and came away from it a HUGE Battier fan. I've been floating alot of trade ideas to get him on a Blazers board and have been utterly lambasted for it. People claimed I was making a monumental error and massively undervaluing one of our players. So here is the trade. You can dress it up with filler and throw ins but here is the essence. Portland trades Joel Przybilla for Shane Battier. Now mind you the Portland fans called me numerous bad names and said I was an idiot. I have confidence you all will do the same in reverse. Gentlemen let 'er rip. Would you do this trade?

Poll

Would you trade Shane Battier to Portland for Joel Przybilla?

Hell Yes I would!

15 votes

Yes, I would with this alteration.

18 votes

No, I would not

58 votes

Hellz no I wouldn't do it!

102 votes

193 votes | Poll has closed

Who should Oden's big man coach be?

Idog1976 — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:12:05 -0000

I think most people around here agree that Oden needs alot of coaching to become truly effective let alone fulfilling his pre-draft promise. Assuming for a minute that he regains most of his explosiveness and jumping ability and that he has the drive, who would you like to see coaching Greg Oden? I know that we all love coach Lucas but I think that his health issues might overshadow his coaching. I wish him the best but I would rather he be healthy then stressed out by the rigors of coaching NBA bigs.

As an aside I personally believe that Greg will regain most of his athleticism and also that he has the drive. I would prefer if we take both of these as certainties merely to advance my specific question of who his coach should be.

There are actually very few big man specialists in the form of former players out there that are available. To my knowledge Ewing is locked up in Orlando, Shaq is still playing, Hakeem lives part time in Africa and also coaches Yao, and Kareem currently coaches Bynum in LA. So I got to thinking what legendary big man is out there that might be a good coach? Of course Sabas leapt to mind but I felt he might have soured towards the Blazers and he also lives in Lithuania as far as I know. Thinking about people nearby it suddenly hit me. Who is the arguably the greatest former player big man of all time other then Wilt and Jabar?

Bill Russell.

Hear me out here. Bill took a shine to Oden and actually met with him prior to the draft along with other bigmen greats. I realize he is old (wooden still coaches in his 90's!) and that aspects of the game have changed. But blocking shots and playing defense and rebounding is the same as it was in Russell's era. Bill Russell lives on Mercer Island so he could fly down to Portland with Paul Allen or borrow his helicopter/jet. What's more Russel could help Oden to stop the greatest threat to someone exceeding his ring count ever. That of course is LeBron James. Indeed, if Portland is to stop "The King" then they will need a near to completely maxed out potential Oden along with Roy. Without Oden becoming the force we all hoped he would be I see an endless succession of LBJ rings. So then who would you bring in to coach Oden?

P.S. I know very little about college coaches and other potential big men coaches out there so please enlighten me O'fellow Edgers.

--EDIT-- I want to be clear I don't think Oden needs an Ex-player as a coach so I wrote that part badly. I am not knowledgeable about college coaches etc. so I took the path of least resistance and tried to think of players that could mentor him. I also chose Russell due to the fact that I believe greatness can rub off on players. Perhaps this only happens when one plays with them but I know for a fact Jordan and LBJ have had that effect on teammates.

Poll

Who should be Oden's big man coach?

Bill Russel.

33 votes

he should go to Africa and train with the Dream

36 votes

Find out what David Robinson is up to.

88 votes

Clone John Wooden and have him coach Oden.

4 votes

Arvydas Sabonis

33 votes

Other (Please explain below)

27 votes

221 votes | Poll has closed

Congratulations Rockets fans.

Idog1976 — Fri, 01 May 2009 17:11:08 -0000

I'm a Blazers fan and just wanted to say great series and glad it never got dirty like *cough* *cough* Boston and Orlando. Stay classy and know that you have a great team. I grew to really respect your team during this hard fought series. I hope you don't think the Blazers are pushovers but realize that you are a matchup nightmare for us. We learned a ton from your veterans from the tricks to the tenacity it takes to get to the next level. You guys deserved to advance and I hope you mop the floor with those awful L@kers and their horrible bandwagon fans. I loate the L@kers and will be rooting hard fo ya'll in the next round.

By the way Battier is a gem and I even like Artest and have great respect for Yao. Brooks is a Duck like me so I like him. The only player you have that I don't like is Scola due to flopping and for no real concrete reason. Scola is a workhorse though and you have to respect his fundamental based game. All in all a great learning experience for my Blazers.

p.s. Just wait until Oden gets healthy and more skilled and we acquire a starting PG. Then we're coming for ya ;)

In the meantime go beat LA and get a ring. :)

Does anyone think

Idog1976 — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:51:44 -0000

maybe we should go with Rudy and Roy for clutch game winners vs. Houston instead of Outlaw?

I'm just curious does anyone think it's a good idea to continue to show inordinate faith in Outlaw based largely on performances that occurred over a year ago? I mean really come on. This one is on Nate and Outlaw again and if I see Outlaw out there for the game winner again I will just absolutely flip out. So sick of the Nate love affair with outlaw it's Jarret Jack all over again!

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!

Poll

Should Nate have gotten the rock to Rudy or Roy instead of Outlaw?

Yes

114 votes

No

17 votes

131 votes | Poll has closed

My sign at Game 2: Show us yours!

Idog1976 — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:16:13 -0000

I plan on bringing this to Game 5 as well but as I will be in the ULTRA nosebleeds by then I am sure I won't ever get on camera. My wife helped me to make it but I think it's fabulous.

Here is the T-Mobile commercial that inspired it:

Props to my wife for the nice Paint work to simulate an as yet unseen facial dunk of Oden on Yao. I know it's coming. Hopefully, in the future I won't need to make a mockup but can use an AP photo.Now everyone show us your best signs or the favorite ones you have seen so far!

What do the great modern team defenses have in common?

Idog1976 — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 19:54:24 -0000

I would say that all of the most effective teams in the league have two things in common:

Number One: Collapse on the paint and deploy the octopus arms of death defense in which multiple players all rake the arms of the penetrator and attempt to swipe at the ball also bodying the penetrator.

Number Two: After a super aggressive defensive set you also employ the dreaded flop. Mixing up the octopus in the paint with flops on screens and the perimeter is a deadly and aggravating combo.

Until the league gets serious about stopping flopping it will continue to be a huge part of the game. Really, to stop flopping you would need a $100,000 fine or more based on tape replays and technical fouls for when it is caught in real time. The way to solve flopping aside the Blazers have to deal with the reality of it. You can't just flop whenever you feel contact or else you run the risk of your player taking it to the hole. You have to first really bump the crap out of the other guy and when he responds then you flop mightily. Look at Luis Scola, he is a master of tough D and then when you get him in deep he flops like an Oscar winning method actor.

It's funny because the roundly considered best defensive player on the Blazers is the only guy who employs the flop. That is one Joel Przybilla. For every true charge he takes there are two flop-o-rama "charges" that he takes. Basically, if the Blazers want to be as good as they can be they will have to employ the Octopus and the Flop-o-matic 3,000 defenses. It sucks but that's what ALL the big NBA teams do: Celtics, L@kers, Utah, Houston just to name a few all do the Octopus and the Flop-o-rama. It's a sad state of affairs but it's part of the game until Sith-lord Stern does something about flopping.

On a side note I loved what I saw from Oden last night and think he will thrive in the playoffs. He really enjoys the physicality of the playoffs and just needs to not get too physical on the perimeter and save the heavy banging for a bit deeper in the post. Also, they need to get him the damn ball!

Oden outplays Durant in Head to Head AGAIN!

Idog1976 — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 19:37:55 -0000

I find it simply stunning that once again Oden has outplayed Durant in head to head matchups and this isn't even noticed in either write up. I saw an explosive powerful looking Oden last night and he doesn't even warrant a bullet point. Oden looks to be gearing up for the play offs with a number of solid games in the past few weeks and the silence is deafening. Lets give this guy some credit. He has now, if memory serves, out played Durant in 2 out of their 3 head to head matchups in which they both played and yet the media (Even BE!!!!) is dead silent about this.

If you are going to overhype a matchup and KD for godsakes give Oden the credit he deserves. He almost doubled up on KD's points and quadrupled his boards with one great block and kept his fouling under control. He looked happy and had at least one rebound where he got WAY UP for it.

It was the best I've seen Oden look speed and agility wise and yet I hear nothing. Oden deserves some respect for staying on the floor and cleaning up alot of his foul prone behavior. If we would have just fed him the rock last night he would have scored 40+ on poor Nenad. Meanwhile KD was being D'd up by noted lockdown defender...Travis Outlaw. Where is the GO love?!?!?!

For the record I was about 4 rows into the 200 level and I saw it all quite clearly. Oden looked great and was frequently grinning from ear to ear.

Did KP make a serious error with poll

Idog1976 — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:08:45 -0000

I think everyone's wondering. Did KP make a huge mistake not trading RLEC today. I for one am absolutely convinced he did UNLESS he has a FA he has talked to who has signed a blood oath on skin parchment sealed by lucifer himself that they will come to Ptown this offseason. The only thing I can think of is KP is targetting Ramon Sessions (oh please let it be so) or Hedo Trukoglu. My other thought is that he might be dreaming of even more leverage this summer. I hate to say it but I think KP made a mistake. I don't want to get to into it but with the financial world crashing down around our ears our window might be this season and this season only. Darn it I wanted a banner before doomsday and KP didn't pull the trigger!

Poll

Did KP make a large size mistake not trading RLEC etc. today?

Unequivocally, YES!

56 votes

Yes, but he might have a good reason (explain below)

70 votes

Unequivocally, NO!

65 votes

No, but I do wonder about it.

83 votes

Other (explain below)

3 votes

277 votes | Poll has closed

Trade Drawer Monday 02/16/09: 3 days left countdown edition! Rec to discuss trades!

Idog1976 — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 08:14:07 -0000

Here's my idea for a three team trade involving DET-POR-PHX

Portland

In:

Tayshaun Prince

Richard Hamilton

Out:

RLEC

Rudy Fernandez

Sergio Rodriguez

Travis Outlaw

Phoenix:

In:

RLEC

Rudy Fernandez

Sergio Rodriguez

Jason Maxiell

Out:

Amare Stoudamire

Leandro Barbosa

Detroit

In:

Amare Stoudamire

Leandro Barbosa

Travis Outlaw

Out:

Tayshaun Prince

Jason Maxiell

Richard Hamilton

Each team gets something from the trade.

Detroit gets younger and has a core of Stuckey, Amare, Barbosa and Outlaw to build around.

Phoenix gets tons of cap relief a positional replacement and lots of cheap young talent in Rodriguez, Fernandez and Maxiell.

Portland gets the final piece of the puzzle in Prince a replacement for Rudy off the bench in R. Hamilton. The veteran and playoff experience we need and consolidates the Point guard position. Well what do you think? Post your ideas for trades below!