SBNation.com User Blog: J Tadpole

Monday Musings: Schedule Ain't Fair, PAWWLLL

J Tadpole — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 03:43:19 -0000

Much has been discussed recently about the SEC schedule, specifically how to address traditional rivalries in light of the expansion to 14 teams. Coach Saban has suggested that everyone play nine conference games plus one more against a team from another BCS AQ conference, while Steve Spurrier basically thinks we can shove that idea. LSU fans find it unfair that they have to play Florida every year while Bama plays Tennessee, opining that there is no traditional rivalry between the Gators and Bayou Bengals. A few different proposals have been mentioned. Check out the poll below and weigh in with your thoughts. Something tells me Tammy, I-man, et al will be offering theirs soon...

...If any of you find yourself in the market for a new home, Coach Saban has one scheduled to be sold at auction over on Lake Burton. For a mere $11 million or so you can have this beautiful 9,600 square foot home on 1.7 acres, complete with six bedrooms and nine (NINE?) baths. Various Crimson Tide tickets and memorabilia will also be offered with proceeds benefiting his Nick's Kids charity. Guess you can't be an evil, lying manipulator of kids all the time...

...Speaking of Nick's Kids, Coach had a couple of interesting sound bites at a golf event for the charity over the weekend. My favorite:

"To me, everybody always asks, ‘Why aren't you happy about this or that?' (and it's) because I am thinking about the next thing," Saban said. "Michael Jordan says it best when he said, ‘No matter how many game-winning shots I've made, the only one that matters is the next one.' That's how it is. That is what we keep looking forward to trying to do the best we can to help our players be successful personally, academically and athletically. That is challenging, and we certainly want to have the best program that we possibly can to help them do that."

Process, y'all..

...Can the NCAA possibly lose any more credibility? Mississippi State lost all of two scholarships after a booster "provided a car to the recruit for approximately $2,000 below the actual value of the car. Prior to taking an official visit to a different university, the booster told the recruit that if he did not take the visit, the recruit would be paid $6,000." Making matters worse, the player involved actually signed with MSU and an assistant coach knew about the whole ordeal. Recruiting has officially become a free-for-all, folks. Roll REC...

...Apparently our good friend Johnny Football has decided to take up acting in country music videos, prompting former Heisman QB Andre Ware to question his work ethic and leadership:

"If I'm his teammate, and it's almost human nature, that somebody, someone on the team is starting to resent seeing Johnny Manziel like this. ‘I know I'm working, is he working? Can he be working as hard as I am each and every day to prepare for the season, so we can put ourselves in a position to win the national championship? Are you doing it at baseball games when you're throwing out the first pitch, and how much work did you put in when you were working on this video?' I'm not sure that he's done a well enough job in the offseason to really calm things down."

Good points Andre, but I can't get past the video. Sad what modern "country" music has become...

Have a great week, everyone.

Poll

What should the league schedule format look like moving forward?

Monday Musings: Troll Bama Troll

J Tadpole — Mon, 13 May 2013 00:19:12 -0000

Watching the Dark Lord masterfully troll Bob Stoops and the Sooners last week (and the, uh, Big 12 or whatever it is) inspired me to call out a few teams/fanbases who, for various reasons, are quite simply getting on my nerves. While it's great to be the envy of the college football world, hearing the same nonsense from the same people just gets old. This list is in no way intended to be exhaustive as it basically focuses on those in our back yard. Feel free to chime in with any other incessant whining, crying, complaining, paranoid, or otherwise downright pathetic groups you'd like to hammer on. Oh, and if you happen to belong to one of these groups, feel free to tell me where I'm wrong. In any event, here's my list. They jealous, y'all. So, so jealous.

Tennessee: Obviously Tennessee should always make the top of any Bama fan's hate list, but this time it's for a different reason. Their team is now so perpetually awful that it's getting harder to hate them, and I hate them for that. I hate them even more for killing our strength of schedule, though, which not only could come back to bite us one year but also exposes us to constant whining from the likes of...

LSU: Funny thing, the LSU folks have always been among my favorites. I've known quite a few folks from Louisiana over the years and have generally found them to be a fun-loving group that is passionate but easy to get along with. Recently, however, they are challenging for the league lead in whining and conspiracy theories. Yeah, we get it. Y'all had to beat us twice in 2011 to win the title and you couldn't. Guess what? The writers saw the first game that year for what it was: an upset where the scoreboard didn't match what happened on the field. They also whine about getting sent to the Peach last year where (guess what?) they lost. Again. Now they're whining about the schedule because they have to play Florida and UGA next season while we get Tennessee and Kentucky, some even calling it a conspiracy (the schedule maker's a Bammer!) Good gawd, the butt hurt is strong with that crowd right now. Deal with it, Cajuns. With all this "SEC office is out to get us" stuff you're starting to sound a little like...

Auburn: I could entertain myself for days reading threads like these. Nobody plays the "everybody hates us" card like the Barn, folks. They are absolutely convinced that the NCAA office is in Saban's back pocket. All of our players are on the REC's payroll, y'all, and get free suits, cars, textbooks (OK, that one happened), and whatever else it takes to keep them motivated. Emmert knows this and turns a blind eye. Meanwhile, ESPN just can't stop with their anti-Auburn agenda long enough to expose us for the cheaters we are. Oh, and their main concern right now is whether their athletic department is too religious. Never change, Barners. Never change. And finally...

UGA: At some point you would think that these folks would come to terms with who they are: a good-but-not-great football program who will probably never win a national title under Richt. Of course, they would have had one this year if the refs in Atlanta had just been fair. See, our OL didn't simply wear down their perilously thin defensive front, we just got away with holding the whole game. Oh, and the Dawgs are totally into the whole moral superiority bit, among the most vocal crowds to claim that Saban is dirty, evil, lies to recruits, mistreats his players, etc. News flash Dawgs: in order for Saban to oversign, lots of elite recruits must be willing to compete for playing time at Bama rather than succumb to the UGA staff's begging them to start as freshmen. I guess having a front row seat to a national title game while learning from multiple future NFL stars in their position group as well as the best coaching staff in the nation is attractive to some kids and their parents. Unfathomable, ain't it? It is to them, anyway.

Have a great week everyone. Troll Tide.

Poll

Which fanbase annoys you the most right now?

Tennessee

21 votes

LSU

92 votes

Auburn

198 votes

UGA

55 votes

All of the above

109 votes

Other ('splain below)

28 votes

503 votes | Poll has closed

Saban gets another one: 4-star Texas linebacker Zach Whitley commits to Alabama

J Tadpole — Fri, 03 May 2013 19:33:15 -0000

Another big get for Saban and company as North Shore High (Houston, TX) LB Zach Whitley commits to the Tide over Texas, Texas A&M, LSU, and others. Folks, any time you can pull a prospect out of Texas who holds an offer from the big Texas programs you've done well. Whitley is a consensus four-star, ranked as the #5 ILB prospect nationally by 247sports. He has a college-ready body at 6'2" and 220 pounds with plenty of speed (SEVENTH grade? seriously?) who should have plenty of flexibility in Kirby's scheme.

Roll Tide, Zach. (and a h/t to CarrotTop4 for bringing it to our attention)

HIGHLIGHTS

Monday Musings: Hill's arrest, SEC's best

J Tadpole — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:43:47 -0000

Looks like LSU's offseason just got even worse. Star RB Jeremy Hill, already on probation after pleading guilty to sex with a 14-year-old in a locker room as a high school senior, was arrested over the weekend for... wait for it... pummeling some dude outside a bar. Guess this can be called a tradition in Red Stick now? In any case, with the departure of Spencer Ware and Michael Ford, Hill is pretty clearly the best RB on the LSU roster. If he goes they'd better hope Alfred Blue is able to make it all the way back from knee surgery or that run game isn't going to be close to what it was last season.

...As expected, this was a banner year for NFL hopefuls hailing from Alabama and the SEC as a whole.The Tide had nine players drafted, tied with LSU for 2nd nationally behind Florida State's 11. Adding in three undrafted free agents, 12 total Alabama players will get their chance at the show. As a conference, the SEC had 63 players drafted, besting the number two conference by the largest margin in draft history. In fact, four SEC schools- Bama, LSU , Florida, and UGA- combined for more drafted players than any other conference. The talent gap between the SEC and the rest of the country seems to be widening as we speak. Oh, well. At least the rest of the country can laugh about SEC players taking their draft calls in Wal-Mart while I amuse myself with Tennessee players making stupid decisions.

...Seeing three RBs drafted ahead of Eddie Lacy was rather disappointing, but Evan Hilbert at CBSSports.com offers a bit of insight. At least one team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, removed Lacy from their draft board altogether amid concerns over the chronic toe issues that plagued him in Tuscaloosa. It is a bit disconcerting, however, that multiple outlets have also suggested that teams are questioning Lacy's work ethic and passion for the game. Sounds like you have plenty to prove, Eddie. Silence the critics and make us proud.

...Why, AJ, why? Isn't there somebody else you can hang with other than Johnny Football? We're trying our best to hate that dude around here. Having our star QB running around on beaches with him doesn't help.

Have a great week, everyone.

Monday Musings: A-Day Edition

J Tadpole — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:31:21 -0000

Coming off a busy weekend both personally and in the world of Bama football, this edition of Monday Musings is going to look an awful lot like a Jumbo Package focused on A-Day reactions. Unsurprisingly, Coach Saban seems somewhat encouraged overall while acknowledging that there is plenty of work to do on both sides of the ball. The secondary stepped up and had a pretty solid day, which had to be a relief for fans considering the passing success enjoyed in prior scrimmages. Great to hear that Coach thinks the offensive line is coming along well since we basically don't have a legitimate backup QB at this point. A bit anticlimactic all things considered, and now we face the sobering reality that is the long, hot offseason. Roll Tide.

After entertaining finish to A-Day, Alabama coach Nick Saban says Tide's 'not there yet' | al.com
"I wasn't happy with any of those teams at this point," Saban said. "If I was happy with them, we wouldn't have summer conditioning, we would not have fall camp, we wouldn't have 30 practices to get ready for our first game against Virginia Tech. We'd just pack it in and say, 'All right, let's go to Atlanta and play the game.' We're not there yet."

Alabama's reloading offensive line is building camaraderie | al.com
“Arie had a really good spring. Austin Shepherd had a good spring. Leon Brown is a guy that has ability that he can give us depth. So can Kellen Williams. Those guys are still in competition for positions and rightfully, so based on what they've been able to do. We need to continue to try to develop more players at that position. I'm pleased with the progress that that group has made.”

Alabama announces spring football award winners | al.com
Following Saturday's A-Day game, the Crimson Tide coaching staff honored the best performances from spring practice by handing out awards on the field.

In pass-or-fail test, Alabama's backup quarterbacks flail | al.com
“Alec probably played as well as any of them,” Saban said. “Blake, who's had a really good spring and made really good progress if you look at the spring as a whole, sort of went a little bit rat-trap out there today, aborted his reads early and started scrambling, didn't do things like he'd really improved during scrimmages as well as through the spring.”

See and hear what AJ McCarron, Nick Perry and Ryan Kelly had to say after A-Day at Alabama | al.com
They were all on the White team, which rallied to a 17-14 victory.

Have a great week everyone.

Monday Musings: Mathieu's Sins, Offense Wins

J Tadpole — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:10:10 -0000

Did y'all see all the Honey Badger hullaballoo over the weekend? On Friday, USA Today ran a story covering Tyrann Mathieu's interviews with NFL teams leading up to the draft- of interest to those who follow the draft because Mathieu is considered a real wild card in terms of where he goes and when thanks to character concerns stemming from his drug issues. Apparently Mathieu told one team that he failed at least ten drug tests during his time in Baton Rouge. This prompted an anonymous coach to blame LSU, saying "If he flunked 10 tests before they suspended him, it shows that he got no kind of help." As expected, Mathieu and LSU AD Joe Alleva fired back, complaining about a perceived violation of privacy and defending LSU's drug policies. TEN times he failed without repercussions, LSU? Seriously? If that's true then the university really needs to reevaluate some things. In any event, with this story coming on the heels of the report that over half of Auburn's championship team stayed high on synthetic marijuana, expect the morality police to come out of the woodwork with another reason to demonize the sport.

Much as rival fans and some in the media love to hate him, Coach Saban's reputation in coaching circles was on full display this weekend. Friday's practice saw over 1.600 high school coaches on the sidelines, in town for Alabama's annual coaching clinic that included several current and former NFL coaches as guest speakers. Additionally, some NFL coaches have apparently reached out to Saban for advice on defending the read option play that is becoming a full-on fad in the pro game. Money quote: "'People are getting up the field to pass rush because of the Tom Bradys of the world -- that's what you've got to stop," Saban told ESPN. "You've got to put pressure on the quarterback. Well, that's just what you don't want to do against (read-option quarterbacks). You have to play on the line of scrimmage just like old option football.'" Who better to ask about defending a college-style offense than the premier defensive mind in the college game, right?

Looks like the SEC and ESPN have managed to hammer out a deal that will bring a new SEC network to us via the worldwide leader. The most interesting development here is that ESPN will now control broadcast rights to all SEC games save for the lone CBS game of the week that is contracted through 2023. The conspiracy theorists will only get louder now, voicing displeasure any time an ESPN analyst suggests that an SEC team is better than some gritty B1G or P12 squad. At least the network offices will be in Charlotte and not Birmingham like the SEC office. I've heard enough of that nonsense out of Opelika- "Alabama controls the conference, Slive is a puppet, move headquarters away from this state, rabble rabble..." Do have to wonder about the location though- could the next SEC expansion involve a school(s) from North Carolina?

Another spring scrimmage is in the books and it's abundantly clear that offense won the day again. You can still count me among those who aren't terribly concerned about the defense, particularly since the unit is as banged up as it is right now- Saban doesn't seem to worry, so why should we? On the contrary, I am drooling in anticipation of the offensive possibilities. Folks, we have a fifth year senior QB coming off a campaign that saw him lead the nation in passer efficiency to go with a whole bunch of NFL caliber backs and receivers. There really is no limit to what this offense can do, and I'm betting that the defense will be in the top three nationally again as well. Enjoy next Saturday, folks. September's run toward #16 is a long way off.

Have a great week, everyone.

Sad, sad story...

J Tadpole — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 03:23:35 -0000

Ran across this news story and simply had to share it so that you may mourn with me. It seems that the South Carolina town of Rock Hill, otherwise known as Clowneyville, will have to shut down some major roads this weekend due to a funeral. Who passed, you ask? A 100-year-old oak tree that sits on a prominent corner in town has developed a split and must be euthanized. Let us all pause for a moment of silence in remembrance of this sacred landmark. What a terrible, terrible tragedy.

via farm6.staticflickr.com

Monday Musings: World Keeps Turning, Barn's Still Burning

J Tadpole — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:56:38 -0000

Not surprised to read that Coach Saban was displeased with the team's first scrimmage since it's fairly evident that offense won the day. Reading between the lines, a "lack of intensity" is code for a bunch of yards gained through the air. Not sure how I feel about that at this point- our offense might just be that good. In any case there has to be some concern about a defense that lost arguably the best DB in the nation and three of its top four linemen. Still think this defense will be among the best nationally when it's all said and done.

The Ol' Ball Coach seems particularly ornery these days. A couple of weeks ago he complained publicly about ESPN's decision to air (the other) USC's pro day, wondering out loud if the Gamecocks should refuse to play games on the network. More recently, he made the decision to ban twelve outgoing senior players from the weight room following a reception at the school president's house that those players decided not to attend. One of them was safety DJ Swearinger who has been working out in Columbia in preparation for the NFL Draft and elected to voice his displeasure with the situation on Twitter. Never thought Steve Spurrier would be seen as a disciplinarian. Maybe he's just sad that Clowney will be leaving soon.

Please, Auburn, never change. Having come under fire again for various improprieties including the payment of players, rampant player use of illicit substances, academic fraud, et al, the message board loonies are out in full force. Seems that there may be a movement afoot to boycott the watching of Auburn games on ESPN, keeping with their "kill the messenger" theme. Oh, and Fox sports is also in on the Anti-Auburn conspiracy. They are innocent of all charges, y'all, and the media just keeps picking on them. Guess the REC really does control the world.

Have a great week, everyone.

Monday Musings: Remembering Coach Mal Moore

J Tadpole — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 00:41:03 -0000

As expected, many have weighed in with tributes to the life of Coach Mal Moore. Since his passing is without question the story of the day for Alabama faithful, it seemed appropriate to dedicate this week's edition to him. Some of the best quotes from the weekend:

Mal Moore left indelible mark at Alabama - College Football Nation Blog - ESPN

"It never gets old, and the best part is seeing all these great Alabama people soaking it all up," said Moore, his smile as wide as the gaping holes the Alabama offensive line punched in the Irish defense that night. Seeing the immense pride draped across Moore’s face in both of those instances is something I’ll never forget. His love for Alabama was legendary. The same goes for the way he so selflessly and humbly served his beloved alma mater for more than 50 years.

Longtime Alabama AD Mal Moore passes away - College Football - SI.com

"Mal was truly a special person in every sense of the word," the coach (Saban) said. "We can talk about all the championships Mal has been involved with, but I think what will be remembered most was the man he was. He always put the best interests of others ahead of his own, he carried himself as a first-class gentleman, and he helped bring out the best in those around him. "Mal was an outstanding leader in terms of all he did for Alabama athletics. Most importantly, he was a great friend to me and my family. Mal was the number one reason we decided to make the move to Tuscaloosa."

Gene Stallings, in his own words, on the passing of Alabama's Mal Moore | al.com

"I was on the coaching staff when he played at Alabama. Coach Bryant used to tell me on a number of occasions, 'Now don't forget, Mal Moore is just as good of a football coach as you are.' Coach Bryant had great respect for him..."

"One of the jobs I think he did that was just outstanding when I joined the St. Louis Cardinals. I was coaching at the St. Louis Cardinals and I hired Mal. He'd not had any professional experience at all, and yet within just a short amount of time he had earned the respect of those pros. Most of the time a professional player hadn't got a whole lot of respect for somebody who hadn't played pro ball. That's not always the case, but a lot of times it is. Mal earned the respect of the players there in St. Louis and Phoenix. Just did a fabulous job and just did an outstanding job of when we were together at Alabama."

Alabama Crimson Tide athletic director Mal Moore left unmatched legacy - ESPN

Mal Moore was a gentleman. As a player, coach and administrator, he carried himself with a sense of class. When events didn't break his way -- and they often didn't -- he wouldn't show his frustration. He was analytical; he'd learn from his struggles and count them as blessings.

Remember Mal Moore as a winner and a gentleman, and not in that order (Scarbinsky) | al.com

As much as Alabama meant to Bryant, if such a thing’s even possible, it may have meant a little bit more to Mal Moore. It may have been too much to live without. The terrible inevitability of Moore’s passing doesn’t soften the blow. It’s hard to imagine that you can go to an Alabama football game next fall and not shake his hand in the press box or share a word with him on the sideline. The place won’t be the same without him.

RIP, Coach Mal. Roll Tide.

NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! March Madness Special

J Tadpole — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 13:53:42 -0000

A new reason to love upsets: Special Edition Meltdowns. Fans of Georgetown, Kentucky, and Wisconsin seemed to take their first-round losses personally. Topics include racism, mass alcohol consumption, suicide, fellatio, Thai debauchery, boogers, bed-shitting, pants-pissing, ref bribing, and flatulence. Read no further if you are easily offended. Consider yourself warned.

Photo credit- Rob Carr

Aaaaanddd Georgetown goes full retard

Okay FGCU, don't touch ANYONE.
Meanwhile, Thompson gets fucking clotheslined trying to possess the ball and no call? Fucking retarded.

ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT
WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR OFFENSE???

I need a drink
DAMN YOU TO HELL NCAA. DAMN YOU TO HELL.

i hate all refs
i honestly think any ref older than 50 is a racist fuck who hates georgetown b/c of jtII

based on the boxscore
perhaps its better I can't find a working stream, or else I'd might drown myself in Bangkok's debauchery

porter's bed
officially has shit in it.

I'm too depressed to light myself on fire

tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...tryin' to stay positive...

i'm going to start double fisting guiness and old no 7
whether we win or not, I'm gonna be HAMMERED.

My 20 month old daughter just handed me a booger
it looks prettier than this game

My cell phone is now in 4 pieces
whats the most painless way to kill yourself? I'm thinking poison. But what's an easily available poison with a low LD50?

Hell is being a black person living in the sudan pre-2005
But yeah I'm probably going to kill myself shortly, so I'm not one to judge someone for getting upset about 1st world problems

turning it off now
I'm looking forward to a lively and spirited debated with the rest of you Hoya faithful about the future of this program and potential head coaches. for now, im going to take a long walk, maybe catch a movie, watch pornography, and apply for jobs.

ONce i'm sober enough to drive I'm just going to drive
I'm just going to get into my car and drive west without a wallet/cell phone until i run out of gas and then i'm going to walk into the woods until i die of hypothermia

Alright guys
I'm about to go make some very bad decisions. If you don't hear from me, and aren't enjoying my absence too much, check the morgue

I need to throttle back my enthusiasm. Life is too short to waste time on something stupid like getting emotionally invested in a game played by 18-22 year old kids.

I think I am going to start a university so I can beat us in 15 years

And the model wife wasn't that hot.. another disappointment.

I'm going to throw up.

That was a record for white guy dunks in a game.

I like it. Florida Gulf Coast. Pretty snazzy. The Selection Committee is getting pretty good at this, maybe next year they can find a 13th or 14th seeded A&I or Polytechnic for Georgetown to lose to. Hyphenated names would be good too, like Bethune-Cookman. Are they hyphenated? I think they are

I think III drugs our players before first round games. It's the only explanation.

Photo credit- Derrick E. Hingle, USPresswire

I bet ESPN wishes they had signed up for an entire season of All Access Kentucky. The national ratings to watch this team implode would have been MASSIVE!

Late march and its 40 degrees and the cats are losing in the nit. Way to ruin my favorite month, universe

HAHAHA!!!
Gotta laugh or cry. 1 or the other....

These refs have been bought

WTF???
Come on! If I wanted to watch suck I would go turn on my vaccum cleaner!

My buddy just told me that after this tournament, Cal said he was going to sit down with each player individually and evaluate them. If he doesn't think they can cut, he's telling them to transfer. Anybody else heard anything like that? Edit: I think my buddy is full of shit.

I am an emotional wreck after that inbounds.

I'm ready to skip to the point where we pretend this season never existed and speak of it in hushed whispers when it is brought up.

Savior this moment, might be the last time you see 2 white guys on the court(at the same time) for Kentucky in awhile

59 years of following UK and this one takes it all. I've never seen such a bunch of dysfunctional, uncoachable, mortal F-ups.

Put this season in a brown paper bag, set it on fire and throw it on Tom Crean's porch.

Photo credit- Larry Radloff Photography

Fuck me

Berggren getting his manhood handed to him.

PLAY WITH SOME EMOTION! MY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM COULD BEAT YOU IDIOTS.

Game is not being called the same on both ends. There were some Russians in my hotel the morning, is this game fixed?

When you are 5 feet away from the basket with nobody on you SHOOT THE FUCKING BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Berggren- You suck
Bruiser - You suck
Evans - You suck
Jackson- You REALLY suck

FK! Same shit we've seen from these seniors and Jackson all to often this season.
Just fucking lose and put us out of misery. PAH-LEASE!!! I really don't want to watch this team anymore. They have no idea who they are from one game to the next.

Game over. For realz. Sources.

Badgers playing down to the competition and in this instance out-did the competition coming away with a gritty loss.

I ama pants pisser. 26%.

This display of Shit definitely put a damper on my day. My 11 year old son stayed home from school today to watch (it was Movie day at school).....he's beside himself.

Yeah, the result being a loss justifies your now cold, wet itch-inducing crotch and inner thigh region. Good call.

...and somewhere under the bleachers, Steve Kerr is fellating Marshall Henderson while he double-fists Coors Light.

Monday Musings: Harvey pleas, Coach Mal leaves

J Tadpole — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:35:59 -0000

So, the Harvey Updyke saga finally comes to a close more than two years after he poisoned the trees at Toomer's Corner. My stance has been well documented: Updyke is trash. He vandalized the Auburn campus and should be punished accordingly. Frankly, I think six months behind bars and five years' probation seems to fit his crime. I will continue to laugh hysterically, however, at those in Lee County who insist on referring to the event as a "tragedy" and suggesting that Harvey get life without parole and/or charged as a terrorist (enjoy that link, y'all). Yes, they were YOUR trees and they represented a tradition for you, but they were still just trees. Comon people.

Nice to see the men's basketball team put together a strong effort against Stanford on Saturday, keeping the NIT championship within reach. Still not a ton of offense, but the emergence of Levi Randolph as a threat has to be encouraging. If he and Lacey can continue to develop while Pollard starts to live up to his potential, next season could be much improved. It really wouldn't take much to push this team into the NCAA Tournament-says here that a berth in The Dance is the minimum requirement for Grant to stick around beyond 2014. Agree?

As usual, I find myself sucked in by the NCAA tournament. Seriously, what's not to love about a sporting event where fledgling Florida Gulf Coast University can knock off an old stalwart like Georgetown (what a colossal bust the Big East has been, by the way) and find itself still alive on the second weekend along with fellow hoops titans La Salle and Wichita State? Loved seeing Harvard win a tourney game for the first time in its history as well. While Louisville, Kansas, and Indiana are all outstanding teams, my money is on darkhorse Miami to win the whole thing. They just seem to have a good thing going with all those seniors. Who you got?

Wonderful piece by Don Kausler, Jr. yesterday detailing the accomplishments of Coach Mal Moore in a career that touched seven decades, beautifully conveying the legacy he will leave behind at the Capstone. All things considered, I'm not sure that anyone is more ingrained in Alabama football than Coach Mal. May he have a long and healthy retirement. Roll Tide, Coach. New AD and good friend Bill Battle has some big shoes to fill.

Have a great week, everyone.

Monday Musings: March Madness, Spring, Working on Sixteen

J Tadpole — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 00:02:31 -0000

Watched a little CBS coverage of the NCAA tourney selection yesterday. While I knew going in that Bama wouldn't get called, it's still kind of depressing to sit there and watch it unfold. There was one particularly bright moment, though. When debating who should and should not get a number one seed, Doug Gottlieb compared Gonzaga to Notre Dame football- said they had a pretty record but hadn't beaten anybody. That Bama was the team that got to expose those frauds still makes me very happy...

Coach Saban held a press conference on Saturday to discuss spring practice. He mentioned that spring is a time to set expectations for players and new coaches while focusing strictly on player development. Said that we probably shouldn't read too much into the Joneses and Dee Hart working out with the DBs since there may not be any plans to make permanent changes there, intimating that it has more to do with preparing for worst-case injury luck. He sent his thoughts and prayers to Coach Mal Moore as he undergoes some medical testing following apparent pulmonary issues- a sentiment I'm sure we would all like to express- said that Coach Moore is "in good spirits" and in great hands at Duke. He also spoke to the team's offseason response to the national championship, suggesting that some of the players may not have handled success well initially (briefly mentioned the Skittles Four) but seem to have regained focus. Lots of work ahead if a three-peat is to be, but I ain't worried- how 'bout y'all? If nothing else, at least we are signing ALL THE COACHES...

Not sure what to make of Ole Miss' Marshall Henderson. Before playing the SEC championship against Florida, he stated ever-so-eloquently that it would be "the biggest snub ever in the history of the rest of the NCAA tournament" if Ole Miss were denied an at-large bid, ultimately rendered moot when the Rebels won. When asked about his postseason goals, he said he'd like to "make a name" for himself so he "can get this money." What money would that be, Marshall? My d-bag meter is going off big time with this kid...

Speaking of d-bags, Ol' Johnny Football managed to get himself into the news again this week, posing shirtless for a photo in order to show off a Texas Longhorn tattoo which he claims is fake. The piece discusses Johnny complaining about not getting a "regular college kid" experience. Really, Johnny? You know as well as anyone that a good 10,000 male students in College Station would gladly trade places with you, and even if you were oblivious to that little detail I'd think that pulling stunts to get yourself shoved into the limelight sort of contradicts your complaint, no? I hope CJ, Hubbard, and company knock Johnny senseless come September...

I highly recommend this piece by Roy Exum of The Chattanoogan covering a speech Coach Saban made at a recent engagement. Lots of great insight into the attention to detail that has driven the success of the program, but this juicy tidbit really stood out for me. Who do you think he's talking about?
"Not long ago, we had a receiver that didn't do what he was supposed to do. And he missed a lot of time. Missed spring. And we had a quarterback that wanted him back, really wanted him back. And I was like, Nuh uh. Ain't gonna happen. I can't look at those other 84 guys who have been doing what they're supposed to be doing, what we expect, buying in ... and then just welcome this guy back after he really hasn't done anything right? No way, wasn't going to happen."

Roll Tide, errbody.

Monday Musings: Aunt Lisa, "The Shot," Slive is Hot

J Tadpole — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:28:18 -0000

The world lost a very special woman and Bama fan last week in my sweet aunt Lisa who succumbed to cancer at only 51 following a valiant battle which dated back to 2007. Over the weekend I traveled to celebrate her life with my family where I was simultaneously inspired by all of the people she had touched, deeply saddened by her passing, and angered that this awful disease took her prematurely. Proudly defined by her faith, I have never met a person who gave of herself to others quite like Lisa, with the possible exception of her husband Mike and daughter Mandy who sacrificed tremendously in order to be her primary full-time caregivers. She is loved deeply and will be missed by many...

What a shot by Trevor Releford to knock off UGA at Coleman Coliseum on Saturday, keeping alive Bama's slim hopes of an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament. Bama will play on Friday as the #4 seed in the SEC tourney with Tennessee the most likely opponent. Since anything short of an SEC Championship will probably still result in relegation to the NIT I am less than optimistic that we will see the Tide dancing. Of course, Florida did lose again over the weekend so I guess anything is possible...

The ridiculous and quickly debunked rumors surrounding Les Miles and his supposed affair with an LSU student further illustrate how Twitter is ruining the world. Hard to understand how a simple tweet from a college kid set off a firestorm that got all the way to CBS and back to Miles himself. At some point you have to think that most people will learn to ignore 99% of what they read on there...

It's a shame to hear that Eddie Lacy's draft stock may be dropping. A bad hamstring held him out of workouts at the NFL Combine, though he did manage to weigh in eleven pounds above his playing weight (not good), and will now apparently prevent him from participating in Bama's Pro Day event. He still believes he will get an opportunity to run for scouts before the draft and expects to run a sub-4.5. Hope for the best for him...

According to Andy Staples, Mike Slive is currently the most powerful man in college sports, besting Jim Delany and NCAA prez Mark Emmert for top honors . Since the SEC office is in ~~Bammerham~~ Birmingham, we can rest assured knowing that Bama will continue to get favorable schedules, be allowed to pay all the players, sign as many recruits as Saban pleases, never get called for holding or personal fouls, and get free passes into the MNC game just ‘cause Bama. Roll REC, y'all.

Have a great week, everyone.

Monday Musings: Johnny, Jackie, Rodman's wacky

J Tadpole — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 14:24:55 -0000

I have a feeling we will all be sick of Johnny Football by the time he leaves College Station. His play attracts enough hype- I don't need to know who he's dating, how much he won gambling, where he parties in which costumes, etc. Add in the name trademark deal forcing a response from the NCAA along with the "news" that he is taking online classes only this semester (who cares?) and the term "insufferable" comes to mind. I've had enough Johnny already, and he has three more years of eligibility...

Will Jackie Traina graduate as the most decorated athlete in Alabama history? Coming into her junior season she had two All-America selections, an SEC tournament MVP award, an SEC Pitcher of the Year award, and a WCWS MOP award won while leading the team to its first-ever national title. At week's end she had three shutouts on the season for an undefeated top-ranked team, putting herself in position to potentially repeat in each of those categories. Nothing short of amazing...

The year just keeps getting rougher for the NCAA. First there was news of the suit filed by the state of Pennsylvania challenging the Penn State sanctions along with the embarrassing Miami scandal that prompted the firing of its chief enforcement officer, followed by the Johnny Football trademarking fiasco and corresponding statement that seems utterly unenforceable- who at the NCAA is qualified to prove intent? Now the higher-ups are saying that they may reconsider some recent rule changes in light of a revolt by the B1G along with some other schools. Just when we thought they were losing power, however, they stepped up and flexed their muscles by smacking down St. Mary's. Don't mess with Emmert, y'all...

Why the hell is Dennis Rodman on my TV? I didn't like watching the freak show when he was still playing basketball. Now he's being interviewed by George Stephanopolous about foreign policy, referring to Kim Jong Un as "a good guy" and a "friend"? Just damn, the end of the world must be nigh.

Roll Tide, everyone.

The Roll Bama Roll Weekend Countdown

J Tadpole — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:37:05 -0000

With all the recent Combine talk analyzing 40 times and vertical jumps, I think it's high time the big fellas got their day in the sun. Football wouldn't be football without the fat guys, amirite? Behold the top ten guts in college football:

Getty images via cdn1.sbnation.com

10. Charlie Weis: Nobody applies pressure to khakis like big Charlie. That belt is for decoration only.

Joe Robbins via cdn3.sbnation.com

9. Kawann Short: Don't hear much about this fella in SEC country, but his Dunlap disease is noteworthy.

via cdn2.sbnation.com

8. Jesse Williams: He made the list because bammer made me put him here. It wasn't me, Jesse.

Kevin Liles- USPRESSWIRE via cdn2.sbnation.com

7. John Jenkins: This Dawg will hunt...for french fries.

Greg McWilliams/Getty Images via cdn3.sbnation.com

6. DJ Fluker: The man is simply a behemoth.

Mike Carter/USPRESSWIRE via cdn1.sbnation.com

5. Louis Nix III: Sources in South Bend have confirmed that Nix swallowed Lennay Kekua. In any case, his gut tells him Alabama is pretty damn good.

via 25.media.tumblr.com

4. Terrell Brown: This Ole Miss DL stands 6'11" and- wait for it- 390 pounds. Buffets beware.

Jamie Sabau via cdn2.sbnation.com

3. Johnathan Hankins: Check out the depth of that belly button. Impressive.

via i408.photobucket.com- Barking Carnival

2. Phil Fulmer: Yeah he's retired. So what? It's my list and we're gonna make fun of this doughnut-addicted waste of severely stretched skin one more time, mkay?

Matthew Emmons- USA Today via cdn1.sbnation.com

1. Chance Warmack: Am I biased? Hell yeah, I'm biased. Deal with it. Chance was Warmacking before Warmacking was cool. Gump hard or go home.

So, who did I forget?

Bama Players at the Combine: Offensive Linemen

J Tadpole — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 21:14:29 -0000

Over the next few days we will keep you updated on the invited former Bama players as they audition at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis. Workouts over the weekend involved OL, QB, RB, and WR. Unfortunately Barrett Jones (foot) and Eddie Lacy (hamstring) had to skip the workouts altogether (though Jones did speak to the media), leaving DJ Fluker and Chance Warmack as Bama's only representatives at these positions. A brief recap of their efforts:

DJ Fluker was limited due to a nagging groin injury but was able to participate in the 40 yard dash and bench press, though he was rather underwhelming in both events. His 40 time of 5.31 ranked 31st out of 49 runners, and he managed to bench 225 pounds 21 times to finish 36th out of 45 who lifted. As expected, scouts praised his size and smarts but were somewhat critical of his lateral movement. Apparently some had wondered coming in if DJ could play LT at the next level, but at this point the consensus seemingly places him at either RT or OG. Best news for him is that he weighed in at a svelte 339 pounds, showing the necessary commitment to be in shape. He was also quite entertaining at his presser.

Chance Warmack participated in the 40 yard dash, position drills, and broad jump. While he is still projected to be an early pick, Chance didn't quite live up to the ridiculous hype. His 40 time was actually slower than DJ's at 5.49, tied for fourth-slowest among those who ran. He did post a seventh-best 110" in the broad jump but was generally rated as "average" in the position and lateral movement drills. He will still be the first OG off the board, but it seems less likely that he will go in the top ten. Like DJ, Chance presents himself well in front of a microphone.

All things considered, the Combine had minimal impact on any of the Bama players' draft stock. Warmack is a surefire first rounder who is still considered the best OG to come out in the past few seasons and will be selected a half-round or more ahead of the second OG off the board. Fluker will likely go in the late first or second as a potential first-year starter at OG or RT. Eddie Lacy should be fine to work out at the Bama Pro Day event in March and is projected as the #1 RB. Barrett Jones may see his stock drop a bit depending on his recovery, but as long as he progresses on schedule you have to think that his film and accomplishments will convince some team to snatch him up in the second round.

Today's workouts will involve the DL and LBs, with DBs rounding out the event on Tuesday. Stay tuned.

Monday Musings: NASCAR, Chance, and Freeze's rants

J Tadpole — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:56:31 -0000

Though NASCAR ain't my thing, I assume that everyone saw the horrific crash at Daytona on Saturday that left 28 people injured and could have very easily killed someone. Of course, in the aftermath holier-than-thou pundits everywhere penned columns demonizing the sport and calling for Congress to take action, up to and including an outright ban due to safety concerns, right? Wait, they didn't? Oh, well. Maybe Jimmy Johnson's victory will help him move some male enhancement pills, anyway...

Manti Te'o said at the NFL Combine that fake Lennay had nothing to do with his poor play against Alabama. Good on him for not making excuses I guess, but seems he'd be better served claiming to have been distracted rather than exposed as a fraud. Will be very interesting to see where he lands in the draft. In any case, I love DJ Fluker's quote about Manti: "As far as me, I really didn't see him that much. I saw the other linebackers. (Te'o) had to go against Chance Warmack, so we didn't see him too much." Troll Tide, DJ...

Speaking of Warmack, he offered some glowing reviews when asked about a couple of former teammates. According to Chance, Cyrus Kouandijo is "super athletic... I haven't seen a tackle like him in awhile. He's going to be a top-three pick, I think." He also said that Trent Richardson would "be in the Hall of Fame someday." Nice to see the guys supporting each other and representing Bama well. I have a feeling Chance is going to be a perennial All-Pro in his own right...

Love him or hate him, Mel Kiper Jr. had some nice things to say about the Bama player development program. "People love the fact they're coached up so well; it's basically pro coaching," Kiper Jr. said. "They're so much more well prepared for what the NFL has to offer. Those kids will benefit from their career at Alabama playing for Nick Saban." He also said that playing for Saban can be good for as much as a "half-a-round bump up." Keep lining up, top recruits. It will pay off...

Guessing that Hugh Freeze is starting to understand the passion of SEC fans. If you hadn't heard, Hugh got a little perturbed over allegations of recruiting improprieties involving his 2013 class, challenging anyone with evidence of wrongdoing to email his compliance staff with the information. In the days that followed, 85 different emails were received with 54 turned over to The Commercial Appeal out of Memphis in response to a FOIA request. The Ole Miss general counsel's office is still combing over the other 31 but doesn't expect to find anything damning. In any case, the linked piece offers a few rather hilarious samples. Among my faves: "Your coach is an idiot. Isn't that against some rule?"

Roll Tide, everyone.

Monday Musings: Clowney, Tumbling, Barkley Bumbling

J Tadpole — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:12:42 -0000

Like most everyone else, the first question in my mind upon hearing about the robbery involving four Bama football players was simply, "why?" Over the years I have learned that the criminal mind is virtually impossible to comprehend, but these guys had so much ahead of them. Hopefully they can bounce back from this and get their lives together outside of football since their odds of ever playing football for money just took a major hit. I really don't see the loss of these four having much of an impact on Bama's ability to compete for championships. The incident did provide Charles Barkley with another opportunity to embarrass himself, though. Just turrible...

The debate over whether Jadeveon Clowney should sit out his junior year to avoid injury is amusing to me. There have been many players over the years who were top-five locks as juniors but decided to come back for senior seasons anyway (remember "Suck for Luck?") Competitors don't sit out to avoid injury. Funniest part is that none of it seems to be driven by Clowney or South Carolina, but by one opinion piece written by one Charlotte sportswriter who suggested that Clowney should sit. Guess today's media has to make news when there is none...

In what can only be described as evidence of a slow news week, WSFA news out of Montgomery decided they would put Harvey Updyke's wife Elva on the air. I don't know what was funnier here, ol' Harv putzing around the courthouse in his best jeans and clip-on tie or the fact that the news station teased this "story" as an exclusive. In any case, Elva seems to be standing behind her man. Further proof that there's someone out there for each of us, I reckon...

Speaking of slow news, as a sports fan I have always hated February. The NBA simply doesn't interest me at all, college basketball doesn't really get exciting until March, and real baseball is still several weeks away. Of course, all other sports are simply a diversion for me until the fall anyway. Oh, well. What are some of the things you do to satisfy your football cravings this time of year?

I will be the first to admit that I know absolutely nothing about gymnastics other than a little bit of jargon picked up while watching the Olympics, but hearing that Bama has beaten Auburn in 106 consecutive anythings warms my heart. I have really appreciated getting to read RollTideYall's coverage of our other back-to-back national champions. Roll Tide, ladies.

Have a good week, errbody.

The Jumbo Package | 02.12.2013

J Tadpole — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 10:31:39 -0000

Pecking order in crowded group behind Alabama QB AJ McCarron won't be determined by seniority- al.com

"You probably look at it like, 'Well, this guy's been here the longest, so he gets the most chance,' Saban said Wednesday during his National Signing Day press conference. "If he's been here the longest, he's already had the most chances. "If he hasn't taken advantage of those opportunities, then somebody else has a turn at getting those chances."

Introducing Alabama freshman Raheem Falkins, a 'go up and get the ball' kind of receiver (video)- al.com

Falkins asked Cooper, who led Alabama with 59 receptions, 1,000 yards and 11 touchdowns, how he did it. "Just come in and work hard and compete," Falkins said. "I applaud him for that. He came in and did a fantastic job on the field. We’ve had a lot of conversations. I look forward to working out with him."

Introducing Derrick Henry, the latest 5-star addition to Alabama's backfield (video)- al.com

"I'm going to come here and carry on the legacy," said Henry, one of seven early enrollees who met with reporters on National Signing Day. "Every day I come and try to learn. I try to learn some plays, doing some drills, catching the ball, just so I can be ready for the spring and next season."

Why is the SEC thriving in football, struggling in basketball? Money- mrsec.com

Spin it any way you like, Mike Slive’s league is struggling through an abysmal season. Florida has been dominant. Kentucky finally appears to be rounding into shape. Missouri has been a little worse than expected; Ole Miss a little better. After that, it’s unlikely any of the conference’s 10 remaining teams will receive at-large invitations to the NCAA Tournament. Saddled with a #8 RPI ranking among conferences, four bids might be generous.

Katherine Webb dons split Alabama-Auburn bikini in Sports Illustrated photoshoot (photo)- al.com

McCarron tweeted his thoughts on the photoshoot on Monday morning. "Proud as hell for my girl @_KatherineWebb on the SI swimsuit shoot!! Looking beautiful like always."

Fan Review: Alabama fans…exceptionalism or simply spoiled?- Capstone Report

Alabama fans have a certain triumphalism. Victory is expected because Alabama is superior. This superiority stems from either history (15 national championships) or the idea that players become somehow better by donning the Crimson jersey. Of course, this notion is not only something held by Alabama fans, but also former coach Bill Curry said the same thing on numerous occasions. In fact, in a 2010 teleconference that was reported by the Birmingham News he repeated this: "You could take an average kid, a player like Bill Curry, put him in a crimson jersey, and he turns into Superman on Saturday afternoon."

Alabama defensive analyst Kelvin Sigler lands defensive backs coach job at Northern Illinois- al.com

Alabama wide receivers coach Mike Groh picks up another 'Recruiter of the Year' award- al.com

Monday Musings: 'Crootin Ballers and Merit Scholars

J Tadpole — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 11:45:44 -0000

Ho, hum. Another year, another top-ranked recruiting class. According to Rivals, we ended up with four five-stars and 13 four-stars, while 18 signees were ranked in ESPN's top 300. Huge shout out to Slice of Life for all the outstanding coverage around signing day. It's been said many times around these parts, but we are truly living in a golden age of Bama football and should enjoy every second with the understanding that it won't always be like this. Seriously, people...

The story of Reuben Foster's fugitive father getting caught and arrested 16 years after shooting his mother should serve as a reminder that we really know nothing about these kids and their backgrounds. Many of them are brought up in environments that are unfathomable to most of us. Try to reserve judgment when they appear indecisive, change commitments, etc. and have some empathy for the pressure of choosing between schools with rabid (read: often insane) fanbases in today's media climate. Coach Saban intimated that Foster was conflicted during the process and simply trying to "please everyone" when asked about Reuben's apology via Twitter to the Bama, Auburn, and UGA faithful. No doubt in my mind that some kids have a flair for the dramatic and try to milk the spotlight, but still think we need to try and maintain some perspective. They are teenage kids, after all. Give ‘em a break...

If you want further evidence that the SEC is by far the best football conference in the land, check out the list of players invited to this month's NFL Combine. About a quarter of them, 79 total, played their college ball at current SEC schools. LSU leads the pack with a staggering 13 invitees underscoring the rebuilding job needed in Baton Rouge next season, particularly on the defensive side of the ball. Bama has 10 total: Dial, Fluker, Nico Johnson, Barrett Jones, Lacy, Lester, Milliner, Square, Warmack, and Jesse Williams. A bit surprising that Michael Williams failed to make the list, though it is still possible that he will hear his name on draft day...

Speaking of LSU, looks like Cam Cameron will be hired as the team's offensive coordinator. Apparently he and Les Miles go way back- coached together as offensive assistants at Michigan and Cameron served as a groomsman in Les's wedding. He is noted for his work with some elite NFL signal callers including Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, and Joe Flacco. Considering the strength of their running game, LSU has some serious offensive potential if Cameron can help Mettenberger find a little consistency. Looking forward to another epic battle with the Bayou Bengals in early November...

Not much left to say about the basketball program at this point. I think Grant probably gets another year, but we need to see significant progress. Losing to that Auburn team in that fashion is simply inexcusable and leaves the NIT as the only semi-plausible postseason destination. The offense is still deplorable and we seem to have nothing inside. The baseball team isn't projected to do much either, it appears. Oh well. Guess we'll just have to get behind Jackie Traina and the defending national champion softball team for our spring entertainment...

While we spend our time and space at RBR discussing the greatest run of athletic excellence in school history, it's worth noting that the University is also enjoying unprecedented success in the admissions office. It was reported this week that the fall 2012 freshman class included 241 merit scholars, most in the nation among public schools and fourth overall behind the University of Chicago, Harvard, and USC. Total enrollment is at an all-time high and applications have increased by over 200% since 2002. High times at the Capstone, indeed. Now, about that upper-level student section...

Roll Tide, everyone.

NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! NSD Special Edition

J Tadpole — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 11:03:56 -0000

I haven't. I remember this time last year the breaking news of the morning was Shiro possibly flipping to us. What a difference another $#@!ty year makes. $#@! you Mack Brown.

Ole Miss pulling in what they did is pretty entertaining, because the SEC West is going to be a fishhooking eye gouging dogpile of cheating. This just accelerates the arms race.

$ec $ec $ec

WOOHOOO! No more February Championships! Good job, Mack. Burn it down.

Yeah, as $#@!tty as Auburn was this yr, they have 8 in ESPN 300 and just signed the #2 DT. Depressing

Mack is such a $#@!ty X's and O's coach that if he can no longer recruit the best players he's absolutely done.

If Mack no longer recruits like he has, why the $#@! is he still here? Here's to another Alamo Bowl and firing of Mack.

We have the 347th ranked DL class in the country. Go Diaz. Not bad for the 547th ranked defensive coordinator in the country

As long as we have _iaz we don't need defensive players, they serve no purpose. When a player's out of position, it doesn't matter if he's a 5-star or a walkon. Advantage, Texas.

Mack is such a $#@!ing piece of $#@!. God I $#@!ing hate his guts.

There is no Mack Brown Curse. Mack Brown IS the curse.

No worries, 5+ decommits is not a sign of anything...carry on, nothing to see here guys...We got 15 good kids from good families coming to a family atmosphere that focuses on winning and development...and our football academic advisor is at the top of his field so your child will have huge chance for success in the classroom as well. Go $#@! yourself mack.

OU has 7 defensive lineman signed and 6 are from the state of Texas. The brass doesn't see the issues here then they are at serious risk of not only losing their program but losing their own jobs. Tired of watching this slow motion train wreck take place.

A'shawn: Don’t let the door hit you in the butt. At Texas you could have been a contributor. At Alabama you’ll get lost in the shuffle.

Remember when you didn't think it could get worse after hearing about Major, well it got worse

$#@!in $#@! $#@! mother $#@!er.................

is there any al qeuada $#@!s living near tuscaloosa

Fantastic day for MBTF®. Time to start drinking.

$#@! all of the old boy $#@!s who are letting this $#@!ing program go man tits up.

Thanks Aggy. You and your SECSEC. Stupid $#@!s.

It's truly amazing to chart the divergent patterns that Texas and Alabama have taken since Colt left the MNC game in 2010. We're so $#@!ed.

$#@! Mack Brown. $#@! him straight to hell.

Bad news is 2014 is a bad year for DL recruits in Texas. Good news is we're not the favorites to land any of those guys anyways

Well $#@!. Headed for the wet bar.

I just have no $#@!ing idea how you can strike out on every $#@!ing dline prospect in the state for 2013. Especially when you know the cupboard is bare in 2014. I just hate this $#@!ing program so much right now.

Prob can't read or write anyway. He will fit right in at Bama

Hey, you already lured us into that Bama troll fest Those people are mean. I don’t like them. ;-)

Their football program has a well earned reputation, unfortunately, so do their fans. What a bunch of A-holes! They steal a five star recruit from us and then to bash the kid that they took (man boobs, over rated because Texas HS football competition sucks, etc.). I would venture to bet that the Alabama football fanbase has one of the lowest percentages of college graduates of any school in the country. Arrogant, stupid, and rude.

A’Shawn doesn’t care about academics. A’Shawn doesn’t care about the job market in Austin. A’Shawn cares only about the tradition of current national championships. A’Shawn knows that Mack will be gone from Texas before Saban is gone from ‘Bama, as far as age is the factor. A’Shawn doesn’t understand this concept at all, obviously. You are right but he is just a bandwagonning potential Alabama signee and doesn’t have the loyalty to play for his home team nor the appreciation for wanting to build something great rather than jumping on the bandwagon.

via sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

Ok. you can doubt no more that ESPN is TOTALLY in Alabamas hip pocket. Montravious Adams….our second biggest get, and the biggest undecided get goes on TV to announce Auburn as his school and right after they talk to him, ESPN does a segment with Saban.!!?? WTF??? If something good happens to Auburn, it appears that Saban has it in his contract with ESPN to get equal time, with his crystal ball in the background, to talk up HIS program!! I am friggin furious!

Reuben Foster just signed with Alabama. 2nd comming of Brent Calloway.

Bet Saban gave him that hat personally. Now Ol’ Reub can put it on ebay and sell it to the Updyke bammers for big $$$.

Please, please, please, we ALLL know whats going on here. Rueben is on his last leg of the "show me the money" tour. He’s Trooper’s boy and we all know he came to Auburn under very suspicious circumstances, at least enough to draw NCAA scrutiny, after he decommitted from Bama. Then he got that big Auburn tat….which is EXACTLY what I would’ve done if I had no job and had a toddler at home, and I came into about $500 bucks. Then of course when Trooper is shown the door, that probably severed whatever "arrangement" the two had for coming to Auburn, which precipitated all the antics that have occured since. I have seen this movie a few times now, so I’ll bring you up to speed on how the screenplay goes, and as most screenplays go it has two drafts. Draft 1: Rueben struggles with his decision, he gets on TV with mama and his baby and sits at the table with hats of Auburn, Bama, and UGA. He fidgets with them, picks up the UGA hat, puts it down, then looks at the Auburn hat but picks up the Bama hat, makes sure the bill is straight, then puts it down, goes to pick up the Auburn hat and then immediatley plants the Bama hat on his hat and says ROLL TIDE! Rueben, baby and Mama go to Tuscaloosa, where Mama gets a new job making about $80k, enough to support baby. Rueben sits on the bench for the better part of 3 years after redshirting, starts his Junior year at 6’3″ 260 rock hard pounds and plays lights out All America ball for the Tide for two years. Rueben enters the draft and is a top 10 pick with Mama and 4th grader in tow. Draft 2: Rueben fidgets with the Bama hat puts it down and picks up the Auburn hat and puts it firmly on his head, mama and baby cry with him as he signs at Auburn. Everybody at Auburn is elated. In May, its found that Rueben isn’t going to make his grades and he has to go the Juco route. Two years later he signs with Oklahoma. He never plays a down for Auburn. Or worse, he gets investigated and we get nailed for violations. Cut its a wrap. Trust me, if we sign this kid, it won’t end up working out good for us. He’ll work out fine for the Turd, just not us. Thats not how these types of high-drama signings work. By all accounts he is "supposedly" a good kid, but the klaxxons are ringing in my ears about him and as I flail my arms all about, all I can say is "DANGER GUS MALZAHN!!…DANGER!!"

Best of luck Reuben! Your 15 minutes of fame are over until you are at least a junior. And that is only if you get lucky and get to hang around until then. I am betting that you aren’t going to make it… let’s be honest, the odds are NOT in your favor.I hope your new friends and fans enjoy your AUBURN tat. That is a good way to make friends! You will be different! Stand out in a crowd! LOL.

Heard a great conspiracy theory: Rube was committed to Bama all along, he was just acting as a dbl agent to try to get Trooper to offer something under the table. Tattoo was a bit over the top for that.

I heard Reese offered him a cupcake, Reuben declined, and it escalated to a pillow fight.

When someone said that Dismuskes said "renege" instead of the N-word, and that's what happened, I immediately thought "There's no way Reese knows what renege means or how to use it properly"

The only thing this shite show is missing is Fbaum. I bet he's weeping in Saban's lap over not being on the air to really stir the pot

I am sure he will enjoy his time in Tuscaloosa. His mother and child will soon move closer to them. It is how it works... One Questions for the ATPB crowd... it was widely reported by Bama fans that Trooper was dirty, that we illegally got Foster to move to Auburn, yada, yada, yada... wouldn't that make him ineligible at Bama?

Heard from a friend who lives in Auburn a few minutes ago that Foster has never had a car while he's been in Auburn, UNTIL TODAY - he's driving a brand new Dodge Charger this morning... guess his Mom's new job at the Mercedes Plant (which hasn't started yet) allowed her to get him a new car.... who knows???

Even if you have a picture, NOTHING-I repeat NOTHING will be done about it as long as Emmert sits his fat *** in the seat of the ncaa's president's office-NOTHING!!

He's being sequestered by creepy old men in a beach condo until bammer gets his signed loi. Some might consider this a hostage situation, but not bammers.

Hope his tatt is a big hit with his teammates.

Hey bama.... You have quickly become the country's most hated team... Kiss that...

Heard 2 bammer a talking recruiting 2-3 days ago and Foster Came up. This was before the official visit and people were thinking he might still come to AU. One guy asked the other where he thought he would end up and the other said at Auburn in jail. But then they got to talking about how he needs Sabans discipline. Blah blah blah. So if a kid goes to Auburn, he is a thug and just waiting for jail and if he goes to Spuat, he gets the needed discipline!!! What hypocrites these folks are. cheaters and people that love cheaters every one of them!!!

In other news, Foster's numbers in his bank account increases, as does his wardrobe and number of vehicles.

2008: The Class That Brought Bama Back

J Tadpole — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 19:09:53 -0000

The moment when I realized that fortunes were truly about to change for Bama football came in the winter before the 2008 season. Though I had scarcely followed recruiting to that point, while perusing the sports pages of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution one morning I stumbled across their “Super Southern 100” ranking of the best high school senior football players in the south. As I recall, twelve of the 100 stars identified themselves as Bama commits at the time with no other school garnering more than two or three. While many were still undecided, it was clear that Nick Saban was selling the program much more effectively than his predecessor and running proverbial laps around his peers at neighboring schools. Now that the book is officially closed on the class of 2008, a look back reveals that the group managed to serve as a foundation for an impending dynasty but also a reminder that recruiting rankings are, at best, an inexact science.

Starting from the top, future classes will be hard pressed to duplicate the bumper crop of elite producers that showed up on campus in 2008. Terrence Cody, Marcell Dareus, Mark Ingram, Julio Jones, Courtney Upshaw, Mark Barron, Dont’a Hightower, Barrett Jones, and Robert Lester all became virtual household names in SEC country. Collectively, that group includes five first-round NFL draft picks (thus far) and two second-round picks, a Heisman trophy winner, an Outland trophy winner, a slew of All-America selections and a couple of BCS Championship Game MVPs. It is difficult to express the impact that these men had on the Alabama program, literally restoring it to levels not seen in Tuscaloosa since the seventies. The sobering reality is that we may never see a collection of top-end contributors like this in a single class again.

Star power notwithstanding, championships simply aren't won in the SEC without a solid supporting cast of role players and quality depth, and to that end the 2008 class did not disappoint. Three-star TE Brad Smelley was a key cog on the 2011 team, finishing his career with 54 catches for 559 yards and four TDs. Four-star DE Michael Williams moved to TE during his redshirt year and finished with 52/503/7 including a TD catch in the BCS Championship dismantling of Notre Dame. Three-star DEs Undra Billingsley and Damion Square became major contributors with Square earning a full-time starting job as a senior and, while arguably considered something of an underachiever, four-star LB Jerrell Harris also logged plenty of playing time with quite a few starts mixed in. Prior to an injury that would cut his career short, four-star DT Kerry Murphy worked his way into the rotation as well. No question that each of these players made significant and much-needed contributions to the national championship effort.

With National Signing Day upon us, the story of this class also offers a cautionary tale for those who still believe championships can be won in February. Five-stars ATH/CB Burton Scott and OL Tyler Love, both highly coveted headliners of the “can’t miss” variety, missed badly. Scott finished his career playing for the South Alabama Jaguars, having transferred due to apparent frustration with his place on the depth chart, and Love was simply never able to live up to the hype sufficiently enough to earn much playing time. Four-star CB Robby Green contributed early then spent a couple of seasons either suspended or deep in Saban’s doghouse and was ultimately dismissed from the team. Four-star QB Star Jackson transferred to the fledgling football program at then-FCS Georgia State upon falling behind AJ McCarron in the pecking order, and quite frankly failed to distinguish himself even at that level. Four-star WRs Melvin Ray and Destin Hood each eschewed scholarship offers in favor of professional baseball contracts. A few other highly rated prospects became academic casualties or, in the case of four-star prospects ATH Chris Jordan and OL John Michael Boswell, managed to qualify but failed to win significant playing time in Tuscaloosa.

All in all, the 2008 Alabama recruiting class will go down as one of the greatest in school history, its legacy defined as The Class That Brought Bama Back. While some players didn’t quite live up to extraordinary expectations, the number of recruits who panned out to become solid contributors on national championship teams and even, in several cases, achieve nothing less than bona fide superstar status stands testament to the sheer talent and character of the individuals involved. Those who love the Crimson Tide will be forever grateful for the efforts and accomplishments of these fine student-athletes. Roll Tide, gentlemen.

Monday Musings: Ravens, Bears, and Texas Affairs

J Tadpole — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 00:48:54 -0000

Just in case you were wondering, until football season starts, Monday Musings will be replacing the Jumbo Package on Monday's only. If y'all see articles that seem relevant go ahead and link them in the comments. -bammer

What's going on over in Oxford? Suddenly the Black Bears seem to be a prime destination for NFL-caliber football talent. Though nothing would surprise me, I'm not going to get into a bunch of speculation about improprieties. Bottom line for me is that, even if they land four or five undecided top recruits, they are still Ole Miss. Not enough depth in their classes to compete on the national level, though Freeze is undoubtedly trying to change that. Hard to believe he'll be there long-term if the class pans out though...

This Major Applewhite story is going to be interesting. An assistant coach keeping his job after having an affair with a college student probably isn't too problematic until you consider that a women's track coach at the same institution was fired for... having an affair with a college student. Add in the detail that the track coach happens to be a lesbian of a minority race and you have a potential bomb ready to go off in Austin. The BOR called an emergency meeting for today to discuss the matter. Then, just a few hours after that announcement, their 19-year-old backup QB was arrested for public intoxication and carrying a fake ID. Get your popcorn...

Great to see the basketball team get the monkey off its back in Nashville, but this team is still painful to watch offensively. Coach Grant is clearly a defensive minded fellow (which should resonate with Tide fans) but basketball is an ugly game when the ball isn't moving. Hopefully they can rally around this win and get some things figured out. An NCAA tournament berth is still within reach...

Congratulations to Ozzie Newsome, Terrence Cody, Courtney Upshaw, and the rest of the Ravens on last night's Super Bowl victory. Especially proud to see Upshaw force a fumble on the grand stage. Rivals had him ranked #131 coming out of high school, came to Bama and worked himself into the #35 NFL draft slot playing a big role in the Super Bowl as a rookie. Cody was rated as a consensus three-star coming out of junior college. I often sound like a broken record on this, but there's a reason elite defensive recruits line up to play for Saban. Well, besides the REC...

I know that I speak for all of the new staff when I say that we've appreciated all of the encouragement in the comments. This is obviously a new endeavor for all of us and we are working hard to put some great content out there for you. Please feel free to chime in below with anything you might like to see in the future. Oh, and keep the quality fanposts coming too!

Happy signing day week, y'all.

Monday Musings: On Manti, Lance, and RBRomance

J Tadpole — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 12:36:03 -0000

One man’s thoughts on recent events, Bama sports, and various nonsense…

- The more I learn about the hoax involving Manti Te’o, the more I feel sorry for him. Yes, it’s hard to comprehend gullibility of that magnitude. Regardless, the mastermind of the hoax is clearly a demented but brilliant individual who identified the right target and executed the plan flawlessly. Will be interesting to uncover the answer to the most important question- Why? The real hoax was the one perpetrated by the media, propping Manti up as the best defensive player in the country…

- The Lance Armstong interview came across as more “CYA” than genuine remorse in my opinion. While I’m no cycling enthusiast, it will be interesting to see how history reconciles his legacy. If literally everyone in the sport is cheating, is it still cheating? No matter the answer, the man has clearly done great things through his foundation. Too bad he’s a habitual liar (Saban troll bait)…

- With National Signing Day fast approaching, it is important to remember to keep things in perspective. Many a five-star has washed out, and many a two-star has achieved greatness. These guys are young and some will change their mind a time or two. No matter where we finish in the rankings, we know that we have the absolute best in charge in terms of getting the most out of each player’s ability. Now let’s go sign all the good ones, y’all. Roll REC…

- While many of us have been concerned about the future of the blog, I would like to formally thank Todd, Nico, OTS, Kleph, and Matt for all of the effort they put into this place for the past several years. I legitimately consider many of the regulars to be friends, and am very grateful for the forum that allowed me to meet so many great people. Unlike Te’o, however, I am not and will never be in love with any of you. Roll Todd, indeed.

Feel free to chime in/agree/disagree/argue on these topics or anything else that may be on your mind. Roll Tide everyone.

One man’s thoughts on recent events, Bama sports, and various nonsense…

- The more I learn about the hoax involving Manti Te’o, the more I feel sorry for him. Yes, it’s hard to comprehend gullibility of that magnitude. Regardless, the mastermind of the hoax is clearly a demented but brilliant individual who identified the right target and executed the plan flawlessly. Will be interesting to uncover the answer to the most important question- Why? The real hoax was the one perpetrated by the media, propping Manti up as the best defensive player in the country…

- The Lance Armstong interview came across as more “CYA” than genuine remorse in my opinion. While I’m no cycling enthusiast, it will be interesting to see how history reconciles his legacy. If literally everyone in the sport is cheating, is it still cheating? No matter the answer, the man has clearly done great things through his foundation. Too bad he’s a habitual liar (Saban troll bait)…

- With National Signing Day fast approaching, it is important to remember to keep things in perspective. Many a five-star has washed out, and many a two-star has achieved greatness. These guys are young and some will change their mind a time or two. No matter where we finish in the rankings, we know that we have the absolute best in charge in terms of getting the most out of each player’s ability. Now let’s go sign all the good ones, y’all. Roll REC…

- While many of us have been concerned about the future of the blog, I would like to formally thank Todd, Nico, OTS, Kleph, and Matt for all of the effort they put into this place for the past several years. I legitimately consider many of the regulars to be friends, and am very grateful for the forum that allowed me to meet so many great people. Unlike Te’o, however, I am not and will never be in love with any of you. Roll Todd, indeed.

Feel free to chime in/agree/disagree/argue on these topics or anything else that may be on your mind. Roll Tide everyone.

Took this myself at a sporting goods store in Montgomery yesterday. Good times.

J Tadpole — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 12:15:51 -0000

Took this myself at a sporting goods store in Montgomery yesterday. Good times.

Yahoo: NCAA investigating Auburn football

J Tadpole — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 20:37:45 -0000

Yahoo: NCAA investigating Auburn football

In other news, the sun came up again...

Awesome.

J Tadpole — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 15:10:01 -0000

Awesome.

"Our stamina couldn't hold up," said defensive end Sam Montgomery. "You always think what could I...

J Tadpole — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 13:17:29 -0000

"Our stamina couldn't hold up," said defensive end Sam Montgomery. "You always think what could I have done better? Maybe I could've drank more water during the week," said Minter.

LSU players blame the heat (yes, heat) for Florida loss

You know, 'cause it's so cool and comfortable in Louisiana.

"His decision is not final," she says. "He's just a teenager, and people are forgetting that. We...

J Tadpole — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 18:14:04 -0000

"His decision is not final," she says. "He's just a teenager, and people are forgetting that. We had never discussed Clemson, and I am unhappy with Clemson. I'm not there, so I don't know for certain, but I feel like Robert was pressured into this decision."

ESPN looks at Robert Nkemdiche's recruitment

Sounds like Landon Collins all over again.

Letter to John Madden

J Tadpole — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 10:28:29 -0000

Someone posted this on the SBN Falcons site and I thought I would share here- it's old but I had never seen it. In any case, this letter (likely a fake) was purportedly written to John Madden by the lowest-rated player in Madden '07. I got quite a kick out of it.

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden 07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is f*cking bullsh*t and you should kiss my mother-f*cking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a f*cking 12. I rate you a f*cking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever — except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-d*ck. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly sh*t and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. F*ck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me”* Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of sh*t teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just cant fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. F*ck, man, there are some sh*tty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

John, you are such a f*cking d*ck. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a f*cking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my f*cking face. F*ck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). F*ck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a f*cking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, p*ssy-ass f*ckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

F*ck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you f*ck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright