SB Nation User Blog: Jennifer

September QOTM

Jennifer — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:47:59 -0000

I'm filling in for your lovely QOTM host Poppy, who couldn't be here this month. But I'm really just a cheap, knockoff sugar substitute when you just want the real stuff.

Sadly, as the 2008 Oakland A's season ends, so does another year of QOTM. Never fear lovely readers, unless something terrible happens (I'm talking about a Ryan-Dale-Travis trade to the Pirates), QOTM will be back next year around the time pitchers and catchers report.

Stay strong. Stay funny.

To the quotes!

DyeLongJustice: i didn't realize the orioles sponsored walk-a-thons... next time i’ll pledge some money

Nico RE photo: I like that the kid in the black jersey is already taking up a collection to help pay for Hannahan’s funeral.

More Hannahan fall jokes.

Still more on Hannahan from alox: Jack Hannahan has arrived to kill the rally. Maybe he should hit while standing on his hands?
danmerqury: I don't think Meyer's allowed behind the batter's box.

monkeyball: Baltimore's second baseman started his own baseball academy... would he call it Oriole Roberts University?
Replies

schmifty: Yeah, I thought we were 99% sure this wasn't going to happen... but I made one last desperate check, and it was on!
alox: Gee....that sounds exactly like my old dating mantra.

thesteve9x: My fantasy team needs to get Ziggy with it tonight
oaklandSMASH: So does my reality team

Blicks: Why the fuck do you I-walk Sheffield? He is NOT that dangerous in ’08.
WaddellCanseco: He's pretty dangerous in this series
IowaA'sFan: He's pretty dangerous to your mama.
WaddellCanseco: She's cowering at her home I'm sure.
thesteve9x: Yeah mine just called and asked if it got so cold because Sheffield was at the plate. Oh mom, you know your 2008 Detroit Tigers.

Nico: I would give my left testicle for a good new SS and I would give my right testicle for a good new 3Bman. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I am fully prepared to accept castration as a fair exchange for improvement on the left side of the infield.
IowaA'sFan: Are you quoting Shakespeare? A shortstop! A shortstop! My left nut for a shortstop!
thejd44: I would also sacrifice my testicles, but only if I could get prostheses. I don’t care about the "no kids" thing, but I don’t wanna be deformed. I’m vain.
Nico: You do realize they're worn on the inside of the clothes, right?

Englishmajor: How great would it be... if you could eat in High-Def? I mean, everything in the world would taste like Dibs!

mikev: You know, I pretty much like PaulThomas. The only thing that really frightens me about him is that he could probably come up with a way to statistically prove that I don’t even exist. That would suck.
grover: PT is not that good Sal could prove your parents never existed, therefore there was never a chance of your existence.
Nico: You know who's even better at that? notsellinggenes.

doctorK: Did Ellis just say Dr Freebird would do his surgery? I have this image of a mulleted-redneck cutting into his shoulder with a Bowie knife.

Soaker: Replay used in the Twins-Rays game Umps’ call is overturned and Carlos Pena is given a home run (instead of a double due to fan interference as the umpires had ruled). Looked like the correct call was home run, but it delayed the game for over 4 minutes.
Leopold Bloom: It was a nightmare. My nachos got cold.
monkeyball: nacho cubes?
oblique: nacho runes?

On Jim Riggleman being ejected on the Daric Barton play at third:
rocknjosie: Three mile island! It’s a meltdown!
monkeyball: {cue xbhaskarx and salb918 defending nuclear energy}

Taj Adib: Quick poll: who’s thinks the A’s have one more dramatic home-game come-from-behind win in them?
rocknjosie: I have faith in the M's ineptitude... and thus cling to a hope like a Titanic survivor

rocknjosie on Aaron Cunningham: Wooohooo! he’s clutch and a cunning linguist.
schmifty [from the Mets booth]: Gary Cohen: "The new Reds pitcher is Jon Coutlangus"
Keith Hernandez: "Oh my"
Gary: It’s very carefully pronounced"
Keith: "It’s a tongue-twister, isn’t it?" (10 seconds of dead air)
Nico: Was the left-hander Morty Felasho also throwing?

Kimberly: Oh, it feels good to be home. I thought my head was going to implode from all the information people were throwing at me today. I just wanna sit, be lazy, and eat cake dang it.
WaddellCanseco: Where were you? Supercollider?

Jennifer on Daric Barton: Seriously. I wanted to knock Dale over the head and take him home with me.
whiteshoes40: Just set out a kiddie pool with a bit of water in it. He’ll knock himself out and then you can take him home.

monkeyball: {blinks, rubs eyes}

Bobby Crosby has been told that his playing time will be reduced for the end of the season in order to see some of the rookies.

thejd44: I'm pretty sure I could die in a car accident today and that line will still make it an overall positive day for me kbtoyz: Wow Winner of the fuinniest/most rediculous statement this week
monkeyball: he lived long enough to see Crosby benched. That’s all any of us ask, really.
thejd44: ...I should’ve said that on a day when I wasn’t planning on driving around the city of Chicago. This could very well be my last day.

rocknjosie: I sure do love the banjo-man
lynnzgal: Me too. how old is that guy?
WaddellCanseco: I'm hoping he's even older than me.
lynnzgal: Late 60's is my guess
gigglingone: older than that I remember banjo man being old back when i was a kid
67MARQUEZ: my nephew is convinced that he’s the zodiac killer.

Blicks: MLB.TV's being a pain in the ass What did Cliffy do?
OaktownPower: Slashed at one...high chopper K Rod threw it down 880.
MobiusKlein: And we know how bad 880 can be at the end of a home game. That ball might make it home by 11:30

The Dogfather:
BTW, here’s a pic of Valbuena’s slide into Staplehead on Saturday:
I’m surprised we can even see the ball (near V’s ankle, I think), which must have been traveling at approximately the speed of light.

Zonis: [I'm] in Chicago... Whats a Sherman tank doing in Vietnam? And it looks really well preserved for being 65 years old...
Flashfire: It looks like it's pretty rusty to me, plus I don't see any treads.
monkeyball: that's not a Sherman tank, it's Frank Thomas!

PortlandPachyderm: OK, since this is the last time we face LAAAA this year I say it’s time to start plunkin’ and brawlin’. Let’s see what our kids are really made of. (Besides, the game has become too boring).
A'sian: That could be a whole new way to play spoiler.
Jennifer: Ry Bear with an axe... Dale with a machete.
whiteshoes40: Okay, I can picture Vampire Dale doing some damage, but Ryan is entirely too cuddly to be brutal. He’d just run after Dale, saying, "Can’t we all just get along?" ... But then again, if someone tried to hurt Daric... it’d be on like Donkey Kong.
Jennifer: Come on. He's a beast! Ryan would be shirtless, wearing some war paint and a bandanna.... the blood of his mortal enemy splattered across his chest.
PortlandPachyderm:

67MARQUEZ on sal's birthday: hb2salb918 Time for, yup, cake.

theblackpearl: That cake is too big. Can you get a step ladder so he can see the top.

Jennifer: What happened to Hannahan's right eye?

McFood: The previous night he was walking through the parking lot after the game when he saw a school bus full of nuns and orphans being attacked by a gang of ninja sharks. Like a bolt of lightning, and without a thought for his own safety, he jumped into the fray and single hanahandedly fought off the whole gang, estimated to be between 70 and 500. Unfortunately he suffered a black eye in the skirmish. Either that, or he poked himself in the eye with a straw while drinking his hot chocolate.

monkeyball on Ned Yost being fired: uh ... weird
thejd44: Not that weird... Other than that they’re in contention, the guy is a really, really bad manager. He’s also not exactly the type players enjoy playing for.
I’m not sure he’ll even notice if he’s fired though. I think he’s still trying to get people to acknowledge CC’s attempt at a no hitter.
monkeyball: But isn’t this a case where the incompetent functionary was fired not because he was incompetent, or that as a functionary he’s totally fungible, but because... well, grit/heart/gumption/"light a fire under their asses"/accountability/chicken entrails/Flying Spaghetti Monster/motivational seminar at the Ramada by the beltway off-ramp?

Grant from can a McCovey Chronicles:

"I...I...can’t do that, Seams. I’m no killer. But, what is evil? Is evil just a construct? Nietzsche said that evil is the struggle between slave morality and master morality. I’m not sure if I believe that."
* listens intently *
"Well, I understand that. But that also fits into your whole theory about dolphins and opposable thumbs. Maybe we’re not doomed, you know?"
* listens intently *
"Again with Foucault. You can’t just avoid hermeneutics entirely, you know."
* listens intently *
"Oh, Seams. I wish I could share you with the world. I wish society would understand us."

Gaijin_Suketto on the Rivercats Playoff mustaches: I'm Charlie Finley, and I approve this message.
67MARQUEZ: Charlie, I’m Rollie Fingers, and I am still waiting for my $300 for growing this damn thing.

monkeyball: I neither watch PBS noir listen to NPR (sorry, Englishmajor). I have had a long-standing boycott of Safire for various reasons, not all of which would warrant a CGV in explicating. I don’t believe in decaffeinating coffee beans. And I don’t reserve my SNOOTitude for Sunday brunch.
Ice Cream: PBS noir?
Antiques Roadshow of No Return
The Big Heat: America’s Test Kitchen
Jacques Pepin: Fast Food My Way or the Highway
Suze Orman’s Deadly Women & Money

Bringing to life an idea Poppy had many moons ago, schmifty gives us:

OaklandSi: can we get a rainstorm right now?
alox: Care to start a betting pool on which A gets struck by lightening?

notsellingjeans: Can someone tell me what's going on? I haven’t had an online update in like 5 minutes. Either Braden just got shot, or the O’s have a pitching change, or something. My browser refuses to refresh since Patterson came to the plate.
Jennifer: Braden out. Hurt. no reason. But he came back.
OaklandSi: there are some things even a browser can’t handle
notsellingjeans: Hell: A sluggish browser with Patterson at the plate and the bases juiced. You know something shitty is destined to happen, and yet you don’t know when or how.

doctorK: The way the A's have played in the second half, nobody has anything sewed up
alox: Except Barton's head. That’s been sewn up.

franks a lot: Free Jeff Baisley! And/or Jesus Guzman! I’m tired of Hanrahan. Change for change sake!
baseballgirl: Change because it CAN'T be worse.
MobiusKlein: That's what they said after Wilhelm Kaiser
MobiusKlein: Man, what do I have to post? I try to bring in politics, but we’re so apathetic that I can’t get a CSV!
Leopold Bloom: there's not a huge pro-Nazi/A's fan crossover, I'm afraid.
MobiusKlein: I'm afraid if it's larger than zero.

notsellingjeans: If Peter Angelos is the guy who makes absurd proposals in your fantasy league... Bill Bavasi is the guy in your league that accepts them while he’s staring at his computer screen at 3 a.m., drunk and in his boxers after a frat party.

monkeyball: I want to see D-Fro pull off the rare pick-'em-off-1st-and-3rd

PaulThomas: Apparently it's OK to only hit home runs and strike out as long as you don’t commit the cardinal sin of walking a lot.
devo: If a guy is going to strike out, he needs to earn'em! None of this taking pitches, crap!

thejd44: Jennifer, please keep your pants on when Swooney is up. Thanks.
Jennifer: I'm actually wearing shorts today. And I’m really a guy.
eastcoasta'sfan: Hey, it's OK I can still get excited, I live in MA

jdr: I've honestly never understood why conflicting internet baseball discussions drive people to get personal... Especially over something as trivial as whether a baseball team we both support signs a free agent this offseason, a decision over which neither of us has an influence whatsoever. Very odd.
PaulThomas: Have you argued with grover before? This isn’t personal. All his arguments are like this.
grover: As are yours
PaulThomas: Touche

Jennifer: Random: I saw a really old guy at Kauffman Stadium wearing a Flogging Molly shirt.
67MARQUEZ: Dad said he was going to the store for cigarettes

67MARQUEZ: I am scratching my head over this one. But Jennifer said that sexiness is itchy, so maybe it’s just that.

whiteshoes40: Did we figure out why Ryan looks extra young lately?
Jennifer: Facials?

gigglingone: that means no yankees! yay!!!!!!!!!!
DyeLongJustice: well truthfully, the last time the yanks weren't in the playoffs, michael Inoa was a hell of a lot smaller
WaddellCanseco: Only 5' 11"

thesteve9x on the final day of the regular season: I'm checking into baseball rehab first thing …after the world series, i swear.
alox: I tried that.... I always relapse in March.
thesteve9x: I'm ODing on baseball at the moment... they’ll find me face down on the bathroom floor with the remote still clutched in my hands.

schmifty: Hm, Bobby all clean-shaven now looks weird
alox: He's gotta go look for a job.

thejd44: Aside from beating the A's, why do people hate AJ so much? I’m sure he’s probably a jerk, but I actually really like him as a player.
Englishmajor: There is no probably about it
WaddellCanseco: Do you know him?
Jennifer: He ran over my cat.
Englishmajor: And then he backed up and did it again
WaddellCanseco: He ran over both your cats?
Jennifer: Yeah, they were Siamese.

monkeyball: Someone has posted Eric Patterson for sale on craigslist.

Poppy: I don't get it.
monkeyball: doesn't really fulfill its purpose in either position

andeux: I can’t find Loyality Street on any maps, nor does it appear to be the name of one of Huston’s brothers.
schmifty: That would have to be Loyaliton Street, the little-known brother to Huston, Jordon, Juston, and Hanson.

IowaA'sFan: Pinkie tendons - My daughter also had pinkie tendon surgery recently. Of course, the circumstances were a little different. In her case it was a freak kindergarten scissors accident. Maybe she could offer some advice to Ryan about her recovery. I’ll have to bring her along on my stalkings.
thejd44: How long until she was able to swing a bat?

rubin sierra: Is anybody else really shaken up over this morning's stock market performance? Christ, what a mass sell.

Photo caption:

67MARQUEZ: God: "Kurt, take this bat. With it, you will do my wonders."
DCinWC: Rapture Bat

QOTM from players!
Dana Evenland on his rookie hazing Hot Cops uniform: Actually, it fits nice, but I don’t have any pants, so that’s not right.
Greg Smith on his red-and-white nurse’s dress: Is it weird that I know how to put this on?

Birthdays in October!
Kurt Suzuki - 10/4
FormerHuntsvilleStar - 10/5
Kelly - 10/6
Shippee33 - 10/6
ScottBass - 10/10
Brad Ziegler - 10/10
Ozzz - 10/14
Baseballgirl - 10/14
JM - 10/17
Carlos Gonzalez - 10/17
Keith Foulke - 10/19
Rajai Davis - 10/19
jlaff - 10/21
0R0H03 - 10/22
Kaylin Ziegler - 10/24
Dana Eveland 10/29
Marco Scutaro - 10/30

FIN

EDIT: Okay, to please Poppy, I'm adding birthdays for the rest of the year.

AN - 11/6
batgirl - 11/10
colin - 11/12
Travis Buck - 11/18
Emmett89 - 11/28
Rich Harden - 11/30 :(
Galt - 12/1
Eric Chavez - 12/7
Blez - 12/14
Scott Hatteberg - 12/14
Poppy - 12/18
Jeff Baisley - 12/19
jme - 12/22
Greg Smith - 12/22
Eric in ATL - 12/26
Emil Brown - 12/29
Sean Gallagher - 12/30
misfittoy - 1/7
Bobby Crosby - 1/12
Jack Cust - 1/16
Maya - 1/17
Alan Embree - 1/23
SecretAsianMan - 1/26
Jennifer - 1/26
Dillion - 1/26
Hunter - 1/26
mrod - 2/1
5Aces - 2/11
The Dogfather - 2/12
Andrew Brown - 2/17
Ryan Sweeney - 2/20
Rob Bowen - 2/24

9/29/08 DLD: It is over

Jennifer — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:58:20 -0000

No A's game today, folks. No A's game until... well, I can't think about that right now. To the links!

Outfielder Ryan Sweeney will have surgery at 7 a.m. today to reattach his left pinkie tendon to the bone. That has already happened. Good I hope everything went okay. I'll be in Iowa in a few days to take care of you!

------

From this weekend: Smith ends season with 16 pickoffs.

The rookie did tie the record for most pickoffs in a season, with 16, when he caught Yuniesky Betancourt off first in the second inning. The statistic has been kept since 1987.
Smith said he was disappointed upon hearing he'd tied rather than set the record.
"I got this far, now I want it," Smith said. He added with a smile, "Maybe I can talk them into putting me in the game" today.
Oakland has 36 pickoffs overall, tied for third most since 1987.

------

Embree makes me sad:

"I think it's possibly myself, Crosby, Street, Ellis, Duke - we could all be gone," Embree said. "There are a lot of variables but, I would expect that our card game (which often includes Street and Crosby) is broken up and that the chess match (Street and Andrew Brown) is over."

------

I love Jeff.

Then I'd try to picture my life without this place. And I never could. For better or worse, Lookout Landing has kind of become a major part of my identity, and I came to realize that this isn't the sort of thing that you just up and stop doing one day. LL means a lot of things to a lot of people, but it also means a lot of things to me, and every time I'd lay in bed thinking I can't do this anymore, I'd convince myself that it's worth the effort. Every time.

He does it almost entirely by himself. Jeff, I love you. LL alone is almost enough to make me a Mariners fan. Almost. Keep doing what you do.

------

The Tigers and White Sox play today at 2:05 ET. Freddy Garcia vs Gavin Floyd. No pressure, fellas.

I tried to explain to my family the significance of this weekend. It didn't reach them, I guess.

Me: ONE GAME! The Twins held their fate in their own hands!
Dad: [blank stare]
Me: ONE GAME! It's going to be crazy!
Dad: [blank stare]

------

To some football:
Winless Rams fire coach Scott Linehan. That was quick.

------

Finally, the hopes of many young men came crashing down this weekend. Scarlett Johansson married Ryan Reynolds in Canada this weekend.

"Anthem" Music: The Final Answer

Jennifer — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:50:57 -0000

It started so innocently.

Pam said on Sep 19, 2008 11:37 PM EDT:

Ok, the season's almost over.
Anyone figure out what the music is in this 100% baseball commercial? I love it. I must have it.

I agreed with her.

Watch the "Anthem" commercial HERE.

Anyway, I searched for the music the next two days without any success. I finally broke down and emailed the A's. I've emailed various departments of the Oakland A's on a few occasions, and let's just say I'm still waiting for a response.

Imagine my shock when an email from the A's Senior Director of Stadium Entertainment appeared in my Inbox on September 23rd!

Gist of the email:

...The music was made for that commercial by a company in LA that specifically makes commercial music. The guy gave me the name of the ad agency in charge of the A’s marketing because he could’t think of the name of the LA company.
I’m thinking, the music we wear, that’s all of the song. But I still need to contact at least two more people to see if this music is somewhere I can download it. If not, I’m thinking about going the Firefox route to save the commercial.

So on Wednesday, September 24, I contacted the Ad agency that made the commercial.

First, let me say that the lady I emailed got back to me within five minutes to let me know she could help me, she just needed to dig up the answer. I was blown away by her response time and willingness to help. :) She'll probably never read this, but I'd like to publicly thank her for being awesome. She was able to point me in the right direction.

This morning, I contacted the music vendor who created the sound. They also rocked my socks off. I think it took ten minutes for the Producer to respond back to me.

Good news: I have an answer. I can sleep now.

Bad news: This wasn't the answer I was looking for. The piece in the "Anthem" commercial doesn't have a name, and there isn't a place to purchase/download it.

Crap.

But there you have it.

Anyway, it was composed by Jimmy Haun. That Jimmy Haun? I didn't ask.

Other works created by the music vendor:

Rookie Hazing Photos

Jennifer — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:47:13 -0000

Warning before we go: This will probably get out of hand. Boys, you've been warned.

I hope AN's server doesn't melt.

Do Ryan's horns look like....? And a wand? Swoon.

I think Greg is packing around a beer. And Brad, I love you to bits and pieces, but you are scary, dude.

~~I'm slightly disappointed.~~

EDIT: Large photo links!

Group Shot 1

Group Shot 2

Ryan

EDIT 2: Adding one more

EDIT 3: Brad and Greggles large photo link!

EDIT 4: Saved the large photos for the rest of the world to see after Sportsline gets rid of them.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d199/dtp20/ARL107092418_1024x768-1.jpg

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d199/dtp20/ARL108092418_1024x768-1.jpg

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d199/dtp20/ARL109092418_1024x768-1.jpg

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d199/dtp20/ARL110092418_1024x768-1.jpg

Adding previous hazing photos:

9/15/08 DLD Fun: iTunes Playlists and Guess the Photos

Jennifer — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 00:00:29 -0000

Our boys have the day off. We'll need something to do. Enter me, killing time.

I'll put the iTunes crap up top in case you want to skip the photos.

If you want to share any of your Tunes, I copied my songs to Excel, then uploaded them to Google Docs. Please share with the group if you have an easier way. KTHNX.

Jennifer's iTunes Playlist

Guess the Photos!

Same as last time, click the thumbnail to see the answer.

Open Thread: Guess the Photo

Jennifer — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:22:58 -0000

Guess the Player game!

Each small photo is of a past or present A's player. You have to decide who it is. Click on the thumbnail for the complete photo answer.

Don't scroll down to the comments if you don't want spoiled!

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

Good luck! Let me know if any photos are incorrectly linked.

Photos from KC suckage.

Jennifer — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:09:16 -0000

Weeks like this would make me cry if they weren't so gosh darn fun. I love seeing my boys live, I don't care how much suckatude they display. I really miss them once they leave town. :(

To the crappy photos!

The week was full of two things:

Please note the old scoreboard at Kauffman.

They just started putting pitch counts up on the scoreboard less than three years ago.

The new scoreboard.

It's about 100 feet tall and totally HD.

The Blue Brothers. They sing the rules of the stadium... it's cute.

The OF fence, also HD.

Very large, very HD Sweeney. Seriously, it was blinding, but awesome. You could see the blades of grass in the OF on replays.

Just for Poppy, Mark Grudzielanek... dead.

That looks painful. (I don't know why these photos are so small.)

Watch for falling Sweeney.

I can has hugz?

I think Ryan has a fetish. He probably makes Daric rub his head while they cuddle on the couch watching television.

Dale warming up... without Ryan.

Um?

The KC fans called him Ritchie.

Mike Sweeney's return to KC!

National Anthem time. Ryan and Daric are inseparable. I'm surprised they didn't hold hands.

Dundundundundundundun OUTMAN!

"Argh, matey!"

"Did you just touch my ass?"

TRIPLE!! Swoon.

So on Tuesday, I was trying to get Mike Sweeney's autograph, when this usher herded me out of the way. As I'm leaving, there is Daric Barton in the dugout signing for one person, so I ignore the usher and tried to get Daric's autogrpah.

The pen tossing didn't go so well, and bounces off something (a combo of the fence, dugout, and Dale himself) and shoots into the camera well.

Me: "Shit!"

And make a face - 0_o - It was one of those "EEK! DANGER!" faces.

Epic. Fail.

Thank goodness someone in the well was nice enough to hand the pen to Daric. So then it's his turn to toss the ball back.

Easy catch for me.

The fucking pen. Again.

There is something about where Daric was standing that was making this pen toss a feat. The dugout has a fence that separates it from the camera well, and goes almost to the dugout roof. Dale is on steps in the dugout... I'm in the row of seats. It was a weird angle that made both of us have to throw the pen like a javelin.

Anyway, Dale also fails at throwing the pen.

Him: [sucks in his breath] 0_o - He does the same "EEK!" face.

But my long monkey fingers (as my mother calls them) latch on to this bad boy as it's hurled at my face. Just by my fingertips.

Him: "Whew. Alright!"

Me: "Whew. Son of a bitch."

I LOL'd and he smiled. Then Hitler The Usher kicked me out of the section for good. Daric was adorkable. It almost made me forget about Ryan, until Thursday's game, where Ryan kicked ass.

Thursday - First Game:

Look at that crowd!

Aaron has WHITE hair when he takes his hat off.

Kurt is rabid.

Huh. I took a LOT of photos of Daric and Ryan.

"ARG! I will eat your soul!"

"I can tie my own shoes!"

"Did I break it?"

Is that hair gel?

Ryan, looking at Aaron's ass. Daric was jealous.

Dear Huston, thank you for not sucking. Please tell Joey next time.

Okay, there is lots of construction going on at Kauffman and Arrowhead, but what the heck is THIS?!
The wall was a few hundred feet long, with holes throughout. I was scared to look in the holes.

Part of the new concourses.

We scored!

Right before Daric broke himself.

Second Game:

Ziggy gives out his siggy.

Mike Sweeney's kids and wife were at the game. During the first game, it was so quiet, I head Mike's daughter yell, "Hi, Daddy!"

Dale broke his hammy or groin in the first game of the DHer by doing the splits. I was shocked Ryan wasn't rubbing it for him.

Oh, there's Ryan, suggesting Jack call Hair Club for Men.

Speaking of hair....

Cliff!

"Is that....Jennifer I smell?"

Before the sucking started.

He must have crapped his pants between games.

Ryan fogged my up camera with his sexiness.

Me stalking Ryan in RF. Boy, am I glad I moved out there. Ryan. Be still my heart.

Okay, I moved to RF after the second inning. A group of drunk jackasses were heckling MY RYAN! These guys were total douche bags. They are - I kid you not - wearing powder blue seersucker suit coats... WITH THE SLEEVES CUT OUT. WTF?!

Anyway, there are eight to ten of them along the rail, all shouting at the same time things like:

"Weeney!"
"Hey, hey, hey, Ryan!"
"Ryan, seriously! Ryan!"
"Don't look over here!"
[about the CFer] "Why are you looking there?!? He can't help you!"
"Nice catch... for my grandmother!"
"YOU! SUCK!"
"Come here, Weeney! Seriously, come here!"
"Nice catch! I mean it this time!"
"Ryan! Ryan!"
"Pay attention!"
"You throw like a girl!"
"Weeney!"

It was constant. They were riding him hard, but nothing too awful or mean. So at the end of the 7th inning, I think, Ryan makes the third out over by where they are sitting. Like usual, he's going to throw the ball in the stands. Ryan jogs over right in front of them... I thought, Son of a bitch! After all that and he's giving THEM a ball?!? ASSHOLES!!

He's got his left hand up, waving the ball, motioning the douches to catch. Then he tosses it directly right of them to a group of kids and runs to the dugout.

The entire RF area goes, "OHHHHH!!!" or "Ouch!" It's frickin hilarious.

One of the assholes then makes a motion similiar to grabbing his ankles. LOL! Then he slapped his ass and shouted something about Ryan "getting him," "taking it," and being "owned."

It was great. I love me some Ry Bread.

8/13/08 Olympic Thread: SPOILERS!

Jennifer — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 02:24:31 -0000

WARNING: WE ARE LIVE BLOGGING THE OLYMPICS! THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Wednesday Edit: NBC coverage begins at 8 ET/7 CT. Swimming starts at 10 ET/9 CT. Micahel Phelps competes in the 200m IM semis.

Other events include: women's road cycling (trials), men's 3m synchronized springboard diving final, Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh play their final preliminary women’s beach volleyball match against Norway, women's 200m fly, men's 200m breast, men's 100m free, women's 4x200m free relay, and more gymnastics.

Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps.

Did anyone see the video yesterday where he said he eats close to 10,000 calories a day?

We've got swimming just finishing up. Gymnastics now. The USA dudes won bronze yesterday, the NBC talking heads think the ladies for USA should do better than that.

To the action...

PS - VISA just aired a "Congrats on 10, Michael" commercial.

What's in the fanny pack?

Jennifer — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:12:54 -0000

Poppy posted this photo in the DLD:

Thanks a lot to franks a lot who dared to dream about the contents of Lar Bear's fanny pack.

My guess of the contents o' fanny:

1. a grilled cheese sandwich
2. Eric Chavez's heart
3. a pack of Juicy Fruit
4. a paperback copy of Nuclear War Survival Skills: Updated and Expanded 1987 Edition
5. magic beans
6. a hairbrush
7. Snoopy Band Aids
8. brass knuckles
9. Jimmy Hoffa
10. the island on Lost
11. childrens' teeth
12. a detective kit
13. monkeys
14. pain medication
15. his car keys
16. medical instruments
17. a can of tuna

It's your turn. What do you think?

7/18/08 DLD: No Blanton Links

Jennifer — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:30:06 -0000

Happy Birthday to LAXile!

First, let me point everyone to the Netiquette thread. Add your own feedback.

A brother's burden: Baseball in a time of tribulation - An article about San Diego's minor league catcher, Mitch Canham. Mitch recently lost his brother, 19 year-old L-Cpl Dustin Canham, under suspicious circumstances while serving in Africa.
Photo gallery

Francisco Liriano's agent isn't happy with the Twins - Greg Genske, Liriano's agent, wants the Union to investigate whether the Twins are avoiding calling Francisco up to delay the player's service clock. Liriano has currently 2 years and 45 days of MLB time.

Big Sexy headed to Yankees - The Yankees have reached a tentative deal with former Mariner Richie Sexson. If the deal is completed, Richie will be in the lineup against our A's on Saturday.

I'm not giving any links about the Blanton trade.

The All-Stars choose the best player - Who won?

SPOILER! Alex Rodriguez.

Rodriguez received nine votes. Next was Josh Hamilton, the Texas Rangers outfielder in only his second full season, who got six votes. And the poll was taken around noon on Monday, hours before the Home Run Derby, where Hamilton smashed three balls more than 500 feet and won legions of admirers.

Interesting note:

Which leaves us with one remaining nominee, and it was the shocker of the day. The player named Los Angeles Angels pitcher Ervin Santana, whose 11-3 record and 3.34 earned-run average certainly is respectable, though he’s not even baseball’s best Santana. That would be Johan.

I think an A's player voted for him. Wait. The only ASG rep was Duke, so that's not right...

"The best player? Me," said Ervin Santana, the man who voted for Ervin Santana. "I’m not giving credit to nobody."

And now I have another reason to hate the Angels.

Now, my TMZ.com link of the day - Why Dumb People Shouldn't Get Tattoos