Japan

Joe Kayser

  • joined May 10, 2010
  • last login Oct 23, 2011
  • posts 23
  • comments 643

New face, same papi. Don't get me confused for Joe Medina, either.

I'm 18 and I go to college in Missouri. I'm somewhat of a class clown on MHR. I have a tendency to hijack posts with van-related hijinks, and I like to make references to absurd early-nineties Saturday Night Live sketches (If Ed Hochuli were a hot dog, would you eat him?) and forgotten 1980's hair metal power ballads (my upcoming pieces: "Livin' on a Prayer: The Kyle Orton Saga," "I've got More Than a Feeling About Knowshon Moreno," "Good Times Really Bad Times: An Investigation of Mike Shanahan's Draft Strategery," and "Jay Cutler, Just Go Home Sweet Home.").

I also used to play football for my high school, but it took too much time away from my ninja training and my heavy band, in which I play the drums. Currently my skill level is like if John Bonham and Neil Peart had a son somehow, but he was retarded from having two dads and no mom so he couldn't play the drums. The band? Like if you crossed Boston with Anthrax.

In my free time I enjoy replaying my way through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. My favorite temple fluctuates between the Forest and Spirit Temples. My least favorite is the Water, which once took me seven hours (straight, with three bathroom breaks) to beat. My favorite boss is either Twinrova or Volvagia, and I always hated Bongo Bongo. He's scary.

Also, I win at fantasy football and I am the bane of Zappa's existence. And finally....

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| I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAGH!!
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A Fan Of...

  • NFL Denver Broncos
User Blog

On the day in which Jay Cutler left the NFC Championship with a strained vagina, I give you Tim...

On the day in which Jay Cutler left the NFC Championship with a strained vagina, I give you Tim Tebow taking his high school team from a 17-point deficit and scoring the game-tying touchdown... on a broken leg.

The Soapbox: Requiem

MHR contributor Joe Kayser pontificates existence, identity and self-blindness amid the turmoil left in the wake of Josh McDaniels' firing.

Map of which areas are broadcasting the Denver Broncos game against the Kansas City Chiefs, which...

Screen_shot_2010-12-02_at_7

Map of which areas are broadcasting the Denver Broncos game against the Kansas City Chiefs, which airs on CBS at 1:00 ET. As always, head to the506.com to see maps for every NFL game.

The Soapbox Week 12: Rams at Broncos Edition

MHR staffer Joe Kayser jumps on his Soapbox and defends Josh McDaniels' re-tooling effort of the offense.

Knowshon Moreno Quietly Having a Good Stretch

Broncos RB Knowshon Moreno has quietly been on a roll despite the Broncos troubles.

The Soapbox Week 11: Broncos at Chargers Edition

Where does the 2010 season stand? Should we fire Josh McDaniels or start Tim Tebow? All this and more in the second eposode of the Soapbox.

Map of which areas are broadcasting the Denver Broncos game against the St. Louis Rams, which airs...

Screen_shot_2010-11-24_at_2

Map of which areas are broadcasting the Denver Broncos game against the St. Louis Rams, which airs on FOX at 4:00 ET. As always, head to the506.com to see maps for every NFL game.

Week 11 Required Reading

A recap of all the important Denver Broncos articles to come out of Mile High Report and Bolts from the Blue with regards to Monday's upcoming game between the Denver Broncos and the San Diego Chargers!

Week 11 NFL Broadcast Maps

Broadcast maps from the506.com show which NFL games will be televised in which markets across the United States.

The Soapbox Week 10: An Historic Day

The inaugural front-page Soapbox examines the coaching strategy employed against Kansas City and compares Josh McDaniels' offensive strategy to some more non-football things.

FanPost

The Soapbox: Week 10 Quick Hits

Hello MHR Nation. I've written three soapboxes, and all of them were too long. So I've decided to do the logical thing and split it up into two parts. This first one is my quick hitters, and is in...

Broadcast Maps for Week 10

  1. CBS- http://the506.com/sports/?p=1271
  2. FOX Early- http://the506.com/sports/?p=1278
  3. FOX Late- http://the506.com/sports/?p=1284
  4. We got Kevin Harlan, former radio voice of the Chiefs.
  5. He's the guy that goes "Touchdownnnnnnnnnnnnnn Kannnnnnnssssssssaaaaaasssss Cityyy!" Wonderful.
FanPost

The Soapbox Returns

In which the dead will arise from their graves... Jaded Warrior Returns to find his homeland Chaotically calm Opening Thoughts Hello, hello friends. I've been gone awhile now and I doubt I've...

FanPost

The Soapbox: Week 4 2010

I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together... Despondent grey clouds Bring forth Titanic anger They strike when we're down Opening Thoughts After all that...

Week 4 Broadcast Schedule

A map that shows which games will be shown in which markets. Kansas City is the new Denver, baby!!

FanPost

The Soapbox: Week 3 2010 (Pilot Episode)

Welcome to the Soapbox Derby Gentle autumn winds Bely all the orange blood shed Manning can't be stopped Opening thoughts Hello friends, and welcome to the first edition of something I will bring...

Week 3 NFL Broadcast Schedule

Shows which areas will get to see which games. (Broncos on in KC yet again!!)

Eagles name Michael Vick starting quarterback

Looks like the great Ron Mexico will be starting in Philly after all. To this, I have one thing to say: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Taken from the Denver Broncos home page. Rest in peace, Kenny McKinley.

Kenny

Taken from the Denver Broncos home page. Rest in peace, Kenny McKinley.

Week 2 Broadcast Map

Shows which areas get to watch which games. (Broncos on in KC WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!!)

FanPost

Tim Tebow to die in less than a week (not serious, in case you couldn't tell)

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow has long been known for his outstanding work ethic. Now he has apparently decided that there is not a place on Earth that allows him to work as hard as he can. I...

FanPost

Alternate Gameday Thread

Due to the limited processing power of my computer, I have decided to create an alternate thread for discussion of the Broncos game. It simply cannot handle the loads of comments that inevitably...

FanPost

Some Pessimism to Bum You Out Before Camp

By far the most common criticism of our growing internet community is that we "drink the Kool-Aid" or "look at the Broncos through rose (orange?) colored glasses." The negative masses fall back on...

Showing 1 - 23 of 23
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