SB Nation User Blog: Joe P.

Old School Football

Joe P. — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:10:59 -0000

Old School Football

How I wish it was still like this.

10 bold projections for 2009 (part two)

Joe P. — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:55:46 -0000

10 bold projections for 2009 (part two)

"3. Terrell Owens will play in fewer than 12 games

It seems as though Owens’ "good boy" period shrinks shorter and shorter at every stop. And while I’ve recently seen some maturation in the oft-childish drama queen, I still don’t see him getting through 2009 in Buffalo with smiles, lollipops and ice cream.

This is more of a hunch than anything, but I’m thinking that if off-field dilemma doesn’t strike T.O. this year in western New York, injuries will finally catch up to the 35-year-old.

Aside from that infamous stretch with Philadelphia in 2005, Owens has pretty much gone his entire career without getting hurt. So if he’s not due for another blow-up, he is due for age to catch up to him.

Owens has played in fewer than 14 games only once in his career. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he doesn’t get to 12 in ’09. "

How many games do you think T.O. will play this season? I would have done a poll, but I don't think you can add them to FanShots.

T.O.’s rip of Romo should be warning to Bills

Joe P. — Tue, 26 May 2009 14:17:19 -0000

T.O.’s rip of Romo should be warning to Bills

"Check out the tweet. It was Romo’s fault just as it had been McNabb’s and Garcia’s fault before him. You’re next, Trent. That’s not a prediction, it’s a guarantee."

Mike Celizic guarantees that T.O.will blow up. While I think the odds are good and am taking a wait and see attitude, apparently Celizic has a crystal ball or magic mirror. To bad he doesn't know the Powerball numbers!

T.O. gets keys to the city. What has he done to deserve the keys to the city. Pathetic!!!!

Joe P. — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:52:57 -0000

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4174583

T.O. gets keys to the city. What has he done to deserve the keys to the city. Pathetic!!!!

Edwards on Doug Gottlieb

Joe P. — Thu, 14 May 2009 04:38:54 -0000

Edwards on Doug Gottlieb

Trent give a great interview as usual. You will need to scroll down to "sound bytes" on the right side of the page and look for "Trent Edwards, Bills QB"

NFL Total Access will do a piece on the life of Jack Kemp. It will air tonight (Monday) at 7 pm...

Joe P. — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:18:03 -0000

NFL Total Access will do a piece on the life of Jack Kemp. It will air tonight (Monday) at 7 pm EST.

Fins release John Beck

Joe P. — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 03:29:56 -0000

Fins release John Beck

Anyone up for a little competition for Fitz?

Joke of the Week

Joe P. — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:06:52 -0000

Joke of the Week

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his
lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I
loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I
was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the
face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I
sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul)
while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try
this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought
about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.
She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife
to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would
work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately y on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock
and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two
itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What
happened next is almost beyond description , but I'll do my best.. .?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side
as to say, 'don't do it dipstick,' reasoning that a one second burst from
such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

HOLY FREAKIN CRAP . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in
the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and
over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had
never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace,
obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all
over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of

caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!

You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor..
A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally
was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88
lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparen tly I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my
sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I
believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a
significant reward for their safe return!
P.s... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and

now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!

Final Mock before the Draft plus Pettigrew vs Ayers Poll

Joe P. — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:59:03 -0000

-    This is what I think the Bills will do, not what I would do if I were GM and takes the Peters trade into account.

1st (11) – LT - Andre Smith, Alabama – Peter’s replacement. Many of the Mocks I have seen have Smith falling past us, and I would prefer to skip all the potential drama and take Oher. But, it is reported the Bills like Smith better than Oher, and the 49ers (SOBs, I am still mad at them for taking Willis) may take Oher before us at #10. The Bills are in win now mode and roll the dice on Smith.

1st (28) – DE – Robert Ayers, Tennessee – I think this pick will be Ayers or Matthews, with Matthews most likely not lasting this long. The lack of top notch talent at DE in this years draft along with its depth of average talent will cause teams to wait on taking a DE, so Ayers should still be there at #28. As much as the Bills would like to see Brandon Pettigrew here, I doubt it. The Eagles wouldn’t give us their #21 (I don’t buy we didn’t want it) either because they needed it to trade for Boldin or because they want Pettigrew for themselves. If the Eagles do pass on Pettigrew, I doubt the Falcons will at #24.   If both Ayers and Pettigrew are there…..hummm….. I smell a poll question.

2nd (42) –   Center/Guard, Mack, Unger, or Wood in that order. I think the Bills value versatility in their linemen. The Bills will not have a shot at Mack and will be lucky if Wood or Unger are left. Start him at guard and move him to center in a year or two if Hangartner doesn’t perform as expected. If the Bills trade for Waters, it could change this pick, but until then it stays as is.

3rd (75) -   SS - Chip Vaughn, Wake Forest – K.O. gets knocked out. Whitner moves to FS. Vaughn should be able to earn the starting SS spot by next season at the latest. http://www.buffalorumblings.com/2009/4/13/832306/rumblings-scouting-report-wake

4th (110) – OLB - Tyrone McKenzie, South Florida – He should be able to beat out Ellison and start day one in Crowell’s old spot. “Positives: Some versatility to play inside and in space. … "Sam" linebacker who lines up in the stack and nine-techniques. … Holds his ground adequately against tackles on outside run plays, can shed to turn play inside or make the tackle. … Breaks down in the open, and can wrap up elusive runners in space. … Brings his hips to hit ballcarriers straight on, and will put his helmet on the ball to create a turnover. … Gets a fair punch on tight ends to knock them off the line, and stays with them in coverage. … Will chase and hustle downfield, giving second or third effort on inside runs plays to get to the ball.

Negatives: Could be considered a bit of an inside-outside "tweener" by NFL teams. … Not especially fluid dropping into coverage. … Comes out of the game in nickel situations and probably will do so in the NFL. … Not quick enough to corral slot receivers in zones. … Doesn't have the great strength or bulk to fight his way through trash inside.” http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/players/1279457

4th (121) – TE - Anthony Hill, North Carolina St. – At 6’ 5” and 262 lbs, he is Pettigrew without the hype and will help improve the blocking on our newly remodeled O-line. “Outstanding size and bulk...Has a huge frame with long arms...Tough and physical...Excellent strength...An outstanding blocker...Stout at the point and gets a good push...Soft, reliable hands...Can be a threat in the redzone...Works well in traffic and can take a hit...Understands how to get open...May offer some versatility...Has a lot of experience.” http://www.draftcountdown.com/scoutingreports/te/Anthony-Hill.php

5th (147) - DT - Terrance Knighton ,Temple – I refuse to pin my hope on Big Jon McBusto. Even if McCargo does manage to live up to half his potential, he is not the rock that Knighton is. At 6’ 3” and 321 lbs, he has the “beef” to be the run stuffer we have been missing since the Bills let Pat Williams walk out the door. “Knighton's large body and fair athleticism is coveted by NFL scouts. The 2008 first-team All-MAC pick contributed heavily as a true freshman (after a post-graduate year at Milford Academy) before earning the starting nod in each of the next three seasons. He averaged 56 tackles, 7.5 for loss and four pass breakups from 2006-2008, while recovering six fumbles and blocking four kicks over the past two years. Teams looking for a one-gap 4-3 nose tackle will be most interested in Knighton.” http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/players/559908

6th (183) – OG, Roger Allen – I really wanted to put our favorite FB, Johnson, back in this spot, but then I remembered this mock was supposed to be what the Bills would do. I liked Allen from Brian’s mock, so I decided to steal him. “Good size and bulk with long arms...Excellent strength and power...A great initial punch...Aggressive and super competitive...Plays with a nasty demeanor and finishes his blocks...Gets a fantastic push in the run game...Stout at the point of attack...Good balance...Nice instincts and awareness...A terrific work ethic...Tough and will play through pain...Durable...Has a lot of experience...Very mature...A team leader.” http://www.draftcountdown.com/scoutingreports/og/Roger-Allen.php

7th (220) - DE, Pannel Egboh, Stanford – He went to Stanford…..how can Jauron resist an Ivy Leaguer? “Legitimate NFL frame. … Well-built athlete with the frame to add an additional 10-15 pounds without significant loss of quickness. … At least adequate initial quickness off the snap. … Uses his long arms well to fend off the blockers and disengage. … Good key-and-diagnose skills. … Team defender who understands his responsibility and fights to keep contain. … Reads the action and has the flexibility to break down in space and make the tackle at the line of scrimmage. … Good strength. … Plays with good leverage despite his height and can push the tackle into the quarterback's passing lane. … Athletic enough to occasionally be used on the zone blitz. … Four-year starter.” http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/players/516974

Poll

If Pettigrew and Ayers are both there at pick #28, who should the Bills draft?

Pettigrew

86 votes

Ayers

78 votes

164 votes | Poll has closed

Getting a handle on Hangartner

Joe P. — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 02:08:11 -0000

Getting a handle on Hangartner

Nice little piece by Chris Brown