SB Nation User Blog: Joel

RTT on the Sports Animal

Joel — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:01:51 -0000

Don't forget to listen to WNML at about 1:45 today (and every Friday) to hear Will's weekly appearance on Sports 180 with Josh Ward and Will West. Listen live here.

Around the SB Nation: Auburn as scary as zombies, clowns, and kidney stones

Joel — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:39:23 -0000

by Dave Martin - AP

Watch out!

View full size photo »

Northwestern blog Sippin on Purple ranks the various aspects of the Auburn offense on a fear-o-meter ranging from chinchillas and swine flu to flying sharks and the 2012 apocalypse.
A Sea of Blue compares freshman phenom John Wall's first ten games with those of former Wildcat Rajon Rondo.
Tomahawk Nation has quantitative proof that Christian Ponder is an elite level quarterback.
Shaking the Southland begins its countdown of the ten most memorable Clemson victories of the decade with The Fight.
Team Speed Kills continues its SEC Decade in Review with four new posts: the 7 OT game between Arkansas and Kentucky in 2003, the rise and fall of Auburn, the rivalry of the decade (LSU-Florida), and the worst game of the decade (the 3-2 Auburn-Mississippi State game in 2008).

Talking Points: Tennessee lures Kippy Brown back home

Joel — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:04:09 -0000

More photos » by Gregory Smith - AP

1 day ago: Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin speaks during the Chick-fil-A Bowl coaches luncheon Thursday, Dec. 17, 2009 in Atlanta. Tennessee will face Virginia Tech at the 2009 Chick-fil-A Bowl. (AP Photo/Gregory Smith)

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Lane Kiffin has called the hiring of Kippy Brown as the Vols' receivers coach and passing game coordinator not just a home run but a grand slam. Brown was Kiffin's Red Ryder BB Gun this Christmas, and he got just what he wanted. I loved Frank Wilson, but this has to be considered an upgrade. The only concern is recruiting -- due to Brown coming from the NFL -- but he's done it before and done it well. During an earlier stint at Tennessee, Brown coached Tim McGee, Alvin Harper, and one Carl Pickens, and those three gave UT the nickname "Wide Receiver U." ($?) Harper says that he learned more at UT than he learned in the pros, all because of Kippy. Welcome home, coach Brown.
Huh. So how many secondary violations does Georgia have over the past year? Six? Really? Why haven't we heard about this until now? I thought the "New York Times" (I suggest all Tennessee fans use the quotes when referring to them -- they're no longer who they claim to be) cared about this stuff. Or do they just like to imply that college girls are prostitutes to sell papers and lure traffic? Huh. (HT: 3SiB.)

Yes, Lane Kiffin was kidding when he identified "following the rules" as the biggest challenge in college football. But rival fans and ostensibly objective journalists won't care. He admitted he doesn't know the rules!

UT will return to the practice field today for the first time since Sunday. And in the time-honored tradition of Lane Kiffin fiddling with the calendar, today will be Tuesday of game week, which makes this Friday Competition Tuesday. And we'll have a game week next week, too.

Didja know . . . that Frank Beamer will be the second most-tenured coach behind Joe Paterno after Bobby Bowden retires this season? The natives are patient in Blacksburg.

There are no new details this morning on Lane Kiffin's dismissal of Brent Vinson from the team. Vol fans will remember that Vinson was a witness to a shooting back in May and that he had academic and buy-in problems when Kiffin first arrived, but no one's given any official reason for his dismissal so far. There are rumors, of course -- there are always rumors -- but I have not seen confirmation from any cite-worthy source. I imagine the "New York Times" will let us know the day before the bowl game.

Bruce Pearl's Vols are 1-5 in games in which they score less than 70 points ($?). USC will play at a rainy Sunday snail's pace tomorrow. The stage has been set. Action! (What does the director yell to begin filming a scene in which the actor is sleeping? Hmm.)

Around the SB Nation: Ole Miss unhealthy for Mississippians

Joel — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:00:24 -0000

Red Cup Rebellion asks the Ole Miss Rebel basketball team to stop putting Mississippi's overweight population in danger with its repeated come-from-behind victories.
Carolina March doubts that the old bad blood between Rick Barnes and the Tar Heels will boil when Texas meets UNC on Saturday.
The Only Colors overanalyzes Michigan State's tempo-free stats.
Several more blogs chime in on Big Ten expansion, including Ohio State blog We Will Always Have Tempe, Iowa blog Black Heart Gold Pants, Every Day Should Be Saturday, and SEC blog Team Speed Kills. Dawg Sports takes a look at the possible effect of expansion on the SEC.
Team Speed Kills continues its SEC Decade in Review by looking at Florida's hiring of Ron Zook and Georgia's hiring of Mark Richt.
Georgia Tech blog From the Rumble Seat takes a look at the traditions of the Iowa Hawkeyes.
The Rivalry, Esq. reviews the series history between Ohio State and Oregon.
Dawg Sports and Rocky Top Talk both weigh in on that motion by Alabama defense attorneys to postpone a trial scheduled during the national championship game.
Blogger So Dear interviews StatSheet founder Robbie Allen.

Vinson out: Kiffin dismisses junior defensive back

Joel — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:55:55 -0000

Vinson out: Kiffin dismisses junior defensive back

Vols appear ready to add Kippy Brown as assistant coach" GoVolsXtra

Joel — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:54:50 -0000

Vols appear ready to add Kippy Brown as assistant coach" GoVolsXtra

Talking Points: Attendance at Neyland Stadium fell below 100,000

Joel — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:14:09 -0000

We Tennessee fans failed to crack the six figure mark in attendance at Neyland Stadium for the first time since 1995. Thoughts?
This bit from Clay Travis made me laugh out loud:

4. Why did Mark Ingram's father being in prison get four billion times more coverage than every other parent that wasn't in prison?

I just don't get it.

Why is this story angle so compelling? So compelling, in fact, that Ingram's dad has gotten more attention than every other parent, including Ingram's own mother, who isn't in prison.

To confirm this fact, I did a highly scientific search. I went to Google and typed in "mark ingram's father" as my search query.

I got 4,180 results.

Then I typed in "mark ingram's mother," and I can't even make this up, Google asked me if I meant to type in, "mark ingram's father."

Mike Hamilton says that the recent negative publicity (thanks, NYT!) hasn't seemed to affect the all-important boosters, which is good. Hamilton also makes the most detailed comment on the independence of the hostess program to date:

They have both academic and, in this case, some athletic responsibility. The individuals chosen are chosen by folks outside of athletics. They're policed by folks outside of athletics, and I think in this case this is an isolated incident that much was made of, that has been, frankly, misconstrued and sensationalized way beyond what it was.

Aaron Douglas was named to the Sporting News Freshman All-America team. Dude graded out at 96% this year and had only three penalties all year, the fewest of any on a line that included four seniors. Woo for three more years with this guy.

Not only did Matt Simms sign with the Vols yesterday, so did wide receiver Kenbrell Thompkins.

The Lady Vols got new uniforms with their names on the backs (it's for fans, not the team, says Pat Summitt) and christened them well with a 30 point victory over Louisville.

Alabama attorneys petition court to attend national championship

Joel — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:13:59 -0000

So what do you do if you're an Alabama fan who's a defense attorney with a trial scheduled to begin the first week of January, just when your beloved Crimson Tide are scheduled to play the Texas Longhorns for the National Championship? You pick up the phone and call your colleague to offer to draft up an agreed order to reschedule the trial, right?

So what do you do if you're an Auburn fan who's a plaintiff's attorney and you get such a request? You say no, of course.

You can guess what happens next. The Alabama defense attorney goes to the court and yells, "ROLL TIDE!"

[Note by Joel, 12/17/09 6:27 AM EST ] I've removed the embed of the motion based on reports it was causing some crashes, but you can read the whole thing by clicking this link:

Motion to attend national championship game

Let's take a line-by-line look at this beauty:

MOTION TO CONTINUE

Stop right there for a second. Since when do Alabama fans ask for permission to continue anything? They continue to count, sua sponte, dubious national championships, and they continue to tattoo their meaty backs with images of Bear Bryant. In fact, if I had only one wish for Alabama fans, it would be that they do not under any circumstances "continue" anything, thank you very much.

1. This case was set for trial several months ago before certain monumental events occurred that were beyond the anticipation of the attorneys and the clients.

Way to ramp up the rhetoric right out of the gate, Counselor Terry. You are advised to save the podium-pounding for the jury, sir. Terrence Cody may be monument-sized, but that's as much as I'll give you.

2. Since the setting of this case, one of the two great college football teams in this State has reached levels on a national scale that have not been enjoyed by any team in this State in 17 years next preceding the date hereof.

Wise move, here, Mr. Terry. You can't be certain whether the judge, his clerk, his secretary, or his bailiff might be an Auburn fan, and any of them can hurt you.

3. Currently, one of the two great teams in this State are playing for a national championship and has enjoyed an undefeated season and clinched the SEC Title Game.

Add "clinching a game" to Alabama's record of achievements. And "grammar" to the record of wrongs. What? It's already there? Okay, then. Proceed.

4. Most of the attorneys representing all of the named Defendants have tickets and reservations to be in Pasadena on the 6th day of January, 2010, which date would conflict with the trial date as travel times and schedules for the game overlap the trial as currently set.

And?

5. In fact, the Honorable Jim Lloyd has children that live in the area and is scheduled to be with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide's success.

. . . And? . . .

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs. Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

Judge: The stenographer shall please bold that grammar entry in the record of wrongs. Playoffs? BSC Title Game? Really? And you call yourselves fans. You're nothing but richy rich band-wagoners, you. And that last sentence about the dates? I have no idea, either. Morons. Richy rich band-wagoning morons.

7. In checking with your Honor's Office, it was determined that there are potential quick dates available during March, the only known conflict being that Jim Lloyd has recently been elected President of the Birmingham Bar and must attend a conference on March 10-12. Other than that, the Defendants can be ready to be first out during any available week for trial during the month of February, March, or April and believe that there would be no harm, considering the magnitude of this event and its impact on this State, and the fact such an event only comes infrequently during a person's lifetime and is an achievement of such a magnitude that all involved in this litigation should want everyone to fully participate in this achievement.

It's a monumental magnitude of a magnitude, I'm telling you! And Jim has a conference for two days in March because he's the big woopteedo in Birmingham, but other than that he's completely and utterly free from February through April. Beck and call, 24-7, Your Honor. Just not January 7, because this magnitudinal monument comes only once in a person's lifetime, unlike litigation, which, you know, normal everyday people go through all the time. Um . . . THE ORDER OF MAGNITUDE!

8. It is also understood that many of the witness involved are trying to acquire tickets to the game and/or scheduled to be at the game in Pasadena on January 7th and certainly any juror selected to participate will likely be preoccupied and not able to devote their full attention to the case before them during the week of January 4, 2010, and therefore, the parties would be prejudiced by the distraction caused by such a major event of such significant importance to so many people in this State.

STENOGRAPHER! Make that grammar entry bold, underlined, italicized, and ALL CAPS. No wonder he can't get the plaintiff to agree to a continuance -- he can't even get his verbs to agree with his subjects. And really, does he think that jurors aren't already Slingboxing their way through multi-day trials already? Will they be so swooned for an entire week by the prospect of watching their football team play for it all for three and a half hours that they can't concentrate on disseminating justice? Okay, never mind. That was actually a good point.

9. ROLL TIDE!! ( although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated.

Points for bravado here. Although to be consistent, it really should have been "ROLLS TIDE!!"

VolQuest.com - Perfect fit sends Simms to Rocky Top

Joel — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:03:29 -0000

VolQuest.com - Perfect fit sends Simms to Rocky Top

Juco QB Matt Simms (Phil's son and Chris's brother) is a Vol.

Around the SB Nation: Big Ten expansion news expands

Joel — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:26:20 -0000

More photos » by Terry Gilliam - AP

Browse more photos »

Several blogs are weighing in on the potential expansion of the Big Ten: The Rivalry, Esq. proposes the "Chadnudj Plan," Black Shoe Diaries makes the case for adding Notre Dame, Black Heart Gold Pants identifies four key issues that have to be addressed to make it happen, and Track Em Tigers provides the SEC perspective.
Bonus coverage of Big Ten expansion chatter: BCS Evolution takes a look at how Big 10 expansion would affect the rest of the college landscape. More realignment chatter: Big 12 Hoops takes a look at the new potential landscapes. Excellent stuff from Rock M Nation, who asks: What if Mizzou had joined the Big 10 in 1996? Card Chronicle wonders whether Louisville is a viable Big 10 expansion candidate. Troy Nunes offers five reasons Syracuse will be the prince's bride. The Smoking Musket is resigned to West Virginia being an afterthought in any Big 10 expansion derby.
Team Speed Kills kicks off an SEC Decade in Review series with a look at former Alabama coach Mike Price's meeting with Destiny in Pensacola.

A Sea of Blue analyzes the projections that KenPom has just released.

Dawg Sports asks (and answers) the question of whether Mack Brown's new $5M salary is inappropriate.

Conquest Chronicles decides to have some fun Comparing Dynasties: USC vs The U.

The wheels are in motion to make happen an Oregon State-TCU season opener in 2010. Building The Dam breaks down the details.

Bruins Nation pleads with UCLA to start Kevin Craft at QB in the Eagle Bank Bowl.

University of Texas faculty criticized the Athletics Department's decision to raise Mack Brown's salary to $5.1m per year.

Mountain West Connection continues its 2009 Playoff Simulation.

Gonzaga blog The Slipper Still Fits takes a look at Mark Few's motion offense.