Jon Bois

  • joined Aug 31, 2009
  • last login Jul 13, 2014
  • posts 5025
  • comments 2252

I'm a featured contributor, and occasional editor, at SB Nation. The movie "National Treasure 2" was based on events that actually happened to me. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and I am never not wearing a suit and tie.

Co-founder, The Dugout:
Co-founder, Progressive Boink:
Personal blog:

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Atlanta Braves
  • NFL Kansas City Chiefs
  • NCAAF Louisville Cardinals
  • NCAAB Louisville Cardinals
  • NASCAR Dayton Moore
  • MMA Bill Pecota
  • Boxing Keith Lockhart
  • Soccer Michael Tucker
  • Cycling Jermaine Dye
  • Tennis Jeff Francoeur
  • General Tony Pena, Jr., Wilson Betemit, Kyle Davies, Horacio Ramirez, Paul Byrd, Kyle Farnsworth, Gregor Blanco, Matt Diaz, Melky Cabrera, Rick Ankiel, John Schuerholz, and Tony Graffanino, also Brayan Pena and Eli Marrero
User Blog

Chris Andersen, the LeBron of his generation

The crown jewel of this year's NBA free agency period is Chris "Birdman" Andersen. But where's he headed? In this episode of Punt Brothers, Ryan Nanni and Jon Bois speak to three SB Nation writers who actually know lots of things about basketball.

The world's dumbest, worst man


In last night's episode of "24", a man cemented his position as the most unlikable character on television. A man too stupid to be evil. Let's relive all this garbage through GIFs and Vines.

Let Jon rate your World Cup lunch today


Did you eat a lunch in celebration of today's World Cup match? Perhaps you ate a lunch, and the World Cup match was an event that unfolded independently of your lunch? We'd love to hear about it. Post it in the comments below, and Jon will rate it.

You shouldn't bite people

Uruguay's Luis Suarez apparently bit another player Tuesday afternoon. Here are four reasons why biting people is no good.

Jack Bauer, chuckin' folks out of windows


Monday night's episode of "24" featured a handcuffed terrorist thrown to her death, inappropriately cheerful extras, and a man wearing a bike bag over a business suit. Let's relive the magic through GIFs.

The Punt Brothers podcast, episode 2


In the second episode of Punt Brothers, Jon Bois and Ryan Nanni are happy to be joined by baseball writer Cee Angi. We talk about the unparalleled greatness of Vin Scully and Tony Gwynn, and the inescapable anguish the Royals are responsible for.

How the U.S. Patent Office destroyed America


In 2014, the Washington football team lost the patent on its name. Only now, a century into the future, do we understand how this destroyed the American way of life.

Soccer is occasionally difficult to understand


In Monday night's episode of 24, the President walked into the middle of Wembley Stadium and was blown up by a drone missile. Let's relive the magic through GIFs and Vines.

The scientist has died

Tony Gwynn passed away Monday at 54. There was only one of him.

The Punt Brothers podcast, with Jon and Ryan


Ryan Nanni and Jon Bois are rather ashamed to present to you a brand-new podcast! Welcome to Punt Brothers, where the only listener is you. Today we're joined by SB Nation NBA writer Paul Flannery.

Last night's '24' sucked and was bad


Jack Bauer sat in a room and cried a little bit. End of episode.

jon's sandwich shop has re-opened for business.


we are pleased to announce that jon's sandwich shop has re-opened for business.

Jack Bauer shops for pants


In last night's "24", Jack Bauer found some crappy pants, a lady got her finger chiseled off, and we learned that in England, water boils at 45 degrees. Let's re-live the magic through GIFs and Vines.

Jon's favorite albums of the 2010s



The weirdest comeback of the year

On Thursday, the Clippers will try to recover from Tuesday night's gut-punch: an 11-0 fourth-quarter run to put the game away, followed by an almost impossible collapse. This, in charts and GIFs, is the story of that.

Terrorists have awful sex


In last night's "24", Jack Bauer shot a couple of innocent people, the president was screamed at by a bunch of scary Brits, and terrorists had creepy, unsatisfying sex. Let's re-live it all through GIFs and Vines.

Charlie Strong, recruiting god

In this episode of Chart Party, we learn three things in the wake of the NFL Draft: Teams love guys named Greg Robinson, teams don't care about stud running backs anymore, and Charlie Strong is a sorcerer.

The Chiefs should never draft a quarterback again


Welcome to the first installment of Chart Party, a recurring series in which we graph out the funniest, coolest, weirdest, and/or most depressing sports things we can think of. First up: the Kansas City Chiefs, who don't know how to draft QBs.

Jack Bauer is 56 years old and going to kill you


Against all odds, plausibility, and good taste, Jack Bauer returned on Monday night with the first two episodes of the ninth season of "24". It was as wildly fun and dumb as ever. Let's relive the magic through GIFs, Vines, and terrible set design.

Gourmet recipes written by 20-year-olds


Hey, 20-year-olds! Would you like to learn how to prepare filet mignon, sushi, or risotto? Well, you can't.

The return of Clarence BEEFTANK


In this episode, we are proud to bring you the return of Breaking Madden legend Clarence BEEFTANK. Our happy little man has gotten his weight down to 350 pounds, and he is here to blow the Oklahoma City Thunder to Hell.

SPORTSLAW with Jon and Spencer


Jon Bois and Spencer Hall issued judgments upon your sports opinions. Either they were right and you were right, or they were right and you were wrong.

OutKast goes for 404 points in one game

Meet the new Atlanta Hawks. They are made up of Dominique Wilkins, Dikembe Mutombo, Andre 3000, Big Boi, and the rest of the Dungeon Family. And they are here to light up the scoreboard with the ATL's area code.

Blake Bortles is a donut in the middle of the Sun

What does "could stand to iron out his pedal" even mean? In keeping with NFL Draft dada-speak, Jon Bois and Spencer Hall offer their scouting reports for this year's top prospects.

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


This week's crop of animated sports GIFs demonstrates what happens when you mash finesse and ineptitude together. Vote, and help us determine the best of the week.

Old Kobe meets Young Kobe, and he hates him

This season was full of injury and frustration for Kobe Bryant. In this episode of NBA Y2K, we're giving him a do-over of the season, and giving him a teammate he knows better than anyone. He will hate this. Oh God, he will hate it.

Six things


I have zero respect for any set of beliefs that excludes people for being how they were born.

Showing 1 - 30 of 5,025 Older
Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.