Jon Bois

  • joined Aug 31, 2009
  • last login Jul 22, 2014
  • posts 5029
  • comments 2257

I'm a featured contributor, and occasional editor, at SB Nation. The movie "National Treasure 2" was based on events that actually happened to me. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and I am never not wearing a suit and tie.

Co-founder, The Dugout:
Co-founder, Progressive Boink:
Personal blog:

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Atlanta Braves
  • NFL Kansas City Chiefs
  • NCAAF Louisville Cardinals
  • NCAAB Louisville Cardinals
  • NASCAR Dayton Moore
  • MMA Bill Pecota
  • Boxing Keith Lockhart
  • Soccer Michael Tucker
  • Cycling Jermaine Dye
  • Tennis Jeff Francoeur
  • General Tony Pena, Jr., Wilson Betemit, Kyle Davies, Horacio Ramirez, Paul Byrd, Kyle Farnsworth, Gregor Blanco, Matt Diaz, Melky Cabrera, Rick Ankiel, John Schuerholz, and Tony Graffanino, also Brayan Pena and Eli Marrero
User Blog

1 team, 46 Johnsons


In recent weeks, guys named Johnson have lit up the scoreboard. In this episode of Breaking Madden, we put every Johnson in the NFL on the same team, and we have the GIFs to prove it.

Gio Bernard and the run of the year


Bengals running back Giovani Bernard pulled off a run so odd and amazing Thursday night that we can't not look back.

You hung out at Jeremy Lin's place


Jeremy Lin got a new apartment, and he invited you over. You had a terrible time.

C'mon Favre, join the Rams and give it one more go


The Rams reportedly asked 44-year-old Brett Favre if they could talk him out of retirement. Tragically, he said no. Let's create him in Madden, experience his Gunslingin' majesty in GIFs and...

How to download and play as BEEFTANK


It wouldn't be fair for me to keep BEEFTANK to myself. If you have an Xbox 360, a copy of Madden NFL 25, and an Xbox Live Gold subscription, you can download the rosters you've seen in Breaking...

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


The theme of the week: accepting failure and shaping it into art. Vote, and help us determine the best GIF in the bunch.

Favre Watch 2013: A story in pictures


Sure would be great to see Brett Favre give it one more go and show these kids a thing or two, according to reports.

44 Greg Schianos meet their doom


Bucs head coach Greg Schiano is off to an 0-6 start. Clearly, he does not have enough of his esteemed "Schiano Men" on his roster. Let's release everyone on the Tampa Bay roster, replace them with...

'A Prairie Home Companion' is wretched and awful


Garrison Keillor's public radio variety show is inoffensive, successful, and put on by very nice people. It is also, if you ask Jon Bois and Spencer Hall, the most terrible show in the history of...

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


This week, we've seen a lot of GIFs that illustrate all the terrible things that happen outside the field of play. Vote, and help us determine the best of the week.

Vince Young and the 90-second rushing play


Houston native Vince Young wants to play football again. The Texans are mired in the dumbest quarterback controversy of the season. Let's put the two together in Madden and see if one man can kill...

A history of the Red River Shootout

Saturday afternoon, Oklahoma and Texas will meet in the Red River Shootout. It promises to be a real Red River Shootout. Let's take a look back at the history of this centuries-old tradition.

Jaguars 42, Broncos 0: The return of BEEFTANK


This Sunday's Broncos-Jaguars appears to be the most one-sided match-up of the 21st century. But not in Madden, where Knowshon Moreno takes the snaps, Peyton Manning is a running back, and human...

The Quarterback Internet Hate Index


NFL quarterbacks, if you ask the Internet, are for hating. In this dreadfully scientific study, we look at how much we hate these QBs and how dumb we are.

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


Two baby squirrel GIFs await you in THIS WEEK IN GIFs. Vote, and help us decide the best of the week.

A list of situations that need Greg Schiano


Greg Schiano, head coach of the 0-4 Buccaneers, says that the Bucs' situation was one that "needed Greg Schiano." This is one of many situations that need Greg Schiano.

One game, 32 touchdowns, 2,400 rushing yards


The Giants' running game is one of the very worst in the NFL. Let's give them Adrian Peterson and Marshawn Lynch, trash the defensive ratings of their Week 5 opponents, and make Madden NFL 25 so...

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


This week's crop of GIFs celebrates things going terribly wrong, whether in the legal or moral sense. Vote, and help us decide the best of the week.

The worst possible home run celebrations


Wednesday night, the Brewers' Carlos Gomez celebrated his home run by rounding the bases while wearing a hat made out of plastic. Spencer Hall, Bill Hanstock, David Roth, and Jon Bois thought of...

Favre Watch 2014 is on


Brett Favre's agent says he's in the best shape of his life. Sure would be great to see the ol' Gunslinger lace 'em up one last time and lead a team to the Super Bowl.

Vote for the best GIF of the week


This week, we're treated to one of the best collections of GIFs we've seen all year, including an instant classic so majestic that it's basically guaranteed to win.

Nobody wants Jason Campbell, nobody knows why


This week, the Browns are starting eternal backup Brian Hoyer over Jason Campbell. As it becomes ever more clear that Campbell might never regain a starting job, we wonder how he ever lost it at all.

Geno Smith goes to Football Hell

It's time to see what Jets rookie Geno Smith is really made of. Let's make Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow his wideouts, create an opposing secondary of seven-foot monsters, and cast him into a Madden...

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


This episode of THIS WEEK IN GIFs is all-football and features material unfit for intentional broadcast on national television. Vote, and help us determine the best of the week.

Let's give Peyton Manning the worst O-line ever

For over a decade, Peyton Manning has been a Madden god. Let's destroy him.

Happy 10th birthday, Progressive Boink


On September 9th, 2003, Jon, Brandon, Nick and Justin launched Progressive Boink. It was a crappy site and they all shut it down to join baseball teams/the Army. Just kidding! Here is a sappy...

Vote for your favorite GIF of the week


For the first time in the history of football, players have exercised poor on-field judgment and suffered calamity. Celebrate this historic occasion by voting for your favorite GIF of the week.

Meet BEEFTANK, the Jaguars' 400-pound quarterback

The Jacksonville Jaguars' tenuous quarterback situation is about to enter its second miserable year. Let's fire up Madden 25 and replace Blaine Gabbert with 400 pounds of lightning-quick,...

Whomp on fools all day

Ambitious Louisville fans are wishing their Cardinals' schedule wasn't so soft this season. Cards fan Jon Bois wouldn't trade it for anything else.

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