Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet... 

BOOM, BITCH!

It's Friday night, I'm subbing for Grant, and writing a post-game thread on a Matt Cain performance. That was exactly the situation the first time I subbed for Grant, way back in aught-five, when Saint Matthew spun his first real gem as a big leaguer. Tonight was just like that, except not.

I tried to think of something funny to post in an attempt to take your minds off this game, and all the games which preceded it, but I literally could not think of anything. If I was a better writer I could draw an analogy between my writing ability and the Giants hitting ability, but if I could do that, it would be entertaining, and that wouldn't really fit with what we all just saw.

Instead, I have the perfunctory stream of consciousness crap I usually spew. No need to hide your disappointment, it's something I've grown to accept.

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FOOCH'S NOTE: Josh put this together and offered it up and I thought we could hold off with more in-depth analysis until tomorrow.  Let's end the night with a little levity.

For those who don't know (a.k.a. "n00bs"), I posted a columns a couple of times a week during last season (you can check those out here). Due to time constraints, I've gone postless since the Super Bowl, but I'm back with a vengeance for the greatest offseason event in sports -- Draft Day.

I’ve watched the NFL Draft for over 20 years now. And I’ve never experienced it in any other way than on ESPN. I can still vividly remember being super pissed when the Jets took Roger Vick, a RB out of Texas A&M, with the 21st pick in 1987, because Mel Kiper made it clear the Niners wanted to take him at #22. Boy, that really came back to bite the Niners, huh?

When the NFL Network began airing the draft, I always meant to give their coverage a try. But I’m a creature of habit, so I never managed more than a cursory click-over during a commercial or particularly annoying part of ESPN coverage. The coverage was decent enough, with Mooch, and Deion, and Marshall Faulk. It also had Rich Eisen leading the charge, a huge improvement over Berman. The Net’s version of Mel Kiper is Mike Mayock. He actually played in the NFL, so he’s got that going for him. And he’s every bit as abrasively East Coast as Mel -- his Phillyese is quite similar to Mel’s Baltimorese.

Because I’m so into my comfortable routines, I’ve never actually gave them a shot, going with them right from the get-go. But after 20+ years of Chris Berman’s bad jokes, Mel Kiper’s hair, and the ever expanding Scott Stuartization of their coverage, I’ve finally had enough. I need to go one year without it. So today’s the day -- except for that rare click-over during commercials, I plan to stay ESPN-free today. I'm flying with The NFL Network -- The Net, for short -- all day today. Won’t you join me on this journey of discovery?

8:59am -- I’m all ready for this draft. All settled in on the couch, got my notebook, food, drink, computer, TV’s on. I’M READY ROCK N’ ROLL!!!

9:01 -- Wait, the draft’s not on. Checking my programming guide, I see it doesn’t start until 1pm. Totally forgot about that. So I got up at 8:30am for no absolutely no reason. Oh well, more time to download porn do research.

11:47 -- After a long nap, I’m back and ready to roll again. Turn on the NFL network pre-game draft just in time to see Rich Eisen toss it to Santa Clara, where Brian "Creepy Pinky" Baldinger is at Niner HQ. He breaks big news on the Niners plan of action for the draft: "That’s what this draft is all about -- improving the roster, improving their chances of winning next season." Mind blown. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

11:49 -- After that truly enlightening report from Baldinger*, the feed switches back to the ballroom, where a camera mounted up high gazes down at reporter’s doing stories on the main floor. This shot includes a sweet look at Erin Andrew’s ass. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor again (this time for real). We’re going to see a lot of talent on display here today, but surely none will be as awe-inspiring as that. * No actual enlightening included

11:50 -- More shots from the ballroom floor, including one of Michael Crabtree. Rich Eisen and Marshall Faulk take this opportunity to praise him for his lavender shirt. There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m too lazy to look for it.

11:53 -- Back from commercial, we’re presented with a 3-man satellite desk where Brian Billick, Charles Davis, and Brian Billick discuss the Jets. Dukes’ microphone appears to be turned off -- nice work by the crew there, and I’m not being sarcastic.

11:57 -- Dukes’ mic is now working -- the Lord giveth, and He taketh away.

12:00pm -- High noon. Now I can start drinking alcohol without feeling guilty. Don’t get me wrong -- I’ve been drinking since dawn, it’s just that until now I’ve been feeling guilty about it.

12:01 -- Nice ponytail, Cushing. Now that was sarcasm.

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Welcome to ‘Any Given Friday’, where we can't remember a Super Bowl matchup this unsexy which had so much potential to be a great game since Rams/Titans or at least Rams/Pats, where we’re still waiting to hear the last name of the Niners’ new offensive coordinator (Jimmy Raye What?), and where we're unhappy to say that due to real life commitments which take precedence over football (it's true, they exist), this will be my last column for while.

You know how when something is really big, they’ll say it’s the “Super Bowl of ________”? Like “The Super Bowl of competitive eating”, or “The Super Bowl of dog fighting”, or “The Super Bowl of Poker”. Okay, maybe that last one doesn’t really work -- and that’s only because the NFL will sue the pants off anyone who officially uses the term. But you know what I mean. It’s not just how we hype something up. We use the words “Super Bowl” to pump needed life into small-time matchups, like our fantasy league championship games: “It’s the Super Bowl of The Labia League, as the Pounding Fathers take on Porn on the Cob.”

It’s not just hype, it’s the very pinnacle of hype. The Super Bowl of hype, if I may be so bold. I say “Super Bowl”, you don’t just think football, you think expensive commercials, fighter plane flyovers, shots from the blimp, long halftimes, Media Day, and two weeks of hype, hype, hype. I don’t know how it is for you, but the Super Bowl is the one game I’ve never had to sell to a wife/girlfriend. There’s always a fun party to go to, or even just some friends getting together, and they bring their significant others as well. If the girls aren’t interested -- and surprisingly often they are -- then they can talk to each other and/or make us more food. Right there, my friends -- that’s the power of hype.

That being said, this year’s game is a little hard to get hyped up about. Sure, you’ve got the whole Whisenhunt-against-the-team-that-passed-him-over thing, the will-Hines Ward-play-or-not thing, and even the What-the-hell-was-Anquan Boldin-thinking-on-the-sidelines thing (more on that in a moment), but that doesn’t exactly get the blood boiling for Sunday. We do have a serious darkhorse against a team going for a record sixth Super Bowl, and that’s not all bad. And, as i stated in the opening, I also have a feeling this could be a sleeper matchup -- one which doesn't seem like a classic, but could be surprisingly entertaining.

BOLDIN BEAUTIFUL: I know the Anquan Boldin sideline situation has been talked to death, but I never got my two cents in, so before I get to the actual game, I wanted to rant a moment. Here goes: Things which happen on the sideline during a football game are supposed to be chalked up to extreme competitors expressing their will to win in a tremendously competitive environment. Even if a player is acting in what would usually be thought of a selfish manner, players and coaches alike write it off to “the heat of the battle”. And I usually agree with that sentiment wholeheartedly. But there have to be limits. And when your team is in a position to clinch a trip to the Super Bowl, you need to set your ego aside. 

What bothered me most about Boldin’s actions during last week’s game against the Eagles wasn’t that he was arguing about playing time during the (very successful) drive which clinched the NFC Championship. It was the fact he tried to defend (or at least explain) the move afterwards by saying he was never told why he wasn’t in the game. 

What does it matter why? That’s not for him to question. Especially when the team is running well in a formation which only features one WR. Boldin may be a great WR -- he’s actually been one of my personal favorites in terms of style and toughness -- but he’s not Larry Fitzgerald. Not before the playoffs, and certainly not after Fitz’s postseason performance, or Boldin’s injury. If there’s one WR in, Boldin should expect it to be Fitgerald. And if the formation is working, you shouldn’t complain. Being competitive is great, even if it makes you hard to deal with sometimes, but being competitive means wanting to win, not wanting to play a key role in a win. 

Boldin leaving the game immediately is a little troubling as well. As a competitor, you’d imagine he’d want to savor the most important win in your career. You’d think his antipathy towards the Cardinal organization wouldn’t keep him from wanting to celebrate with his teammates. But that’s his decision, and while it’s distasteful, but not bad enough to be deemed unprofessional.

All that being said, if Boldin’s a great player, and will give his all in the Super Bowl. If his problems with Arizona management force a trade, I don’t see too many WR-needy teams who would balk at acquiring him over something like this. But he could still use a productive game vs. Pittsburgh to wipe the bad taste of this incident from people’s mouths.

After the jump, I'll get to the game.

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Welcome to 'After Further Review...', where we can't believe the Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl, where we're seriously re-thinking our choice for coach of the year, and where we're not sure if we mentioned this or not, but the Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl.

CARD TRICKS: In the NFL Films annual Super Bowl highlight show after the 1984 season, there’s a clip of Niners C Randy Cross on the sideline late in their 38-16 win over Miami in Super Bowl XIX, grinning at the camera with pride: “People came to see an offense, and the wrong one showed up.” He was of course referring to all the hype leading up to the game about Dan Marino and his record breaking offense, and how it was Montana and Bill Walsh who delivered the high-flying offense that day. I was reminded of this Sunday watching the Arizona’s 32-25 win over Philly, as Cards O-coordinator Todd Haley was taking it to the Eagles defense. After all the talk of what Philly D-coordinator Jim Johnson could do to the Cards (myself included), it seemed everybody came to see a coordinator and the wrong one showed up.

Haley seemed to be one step ahead of Johnson the entire 1st half, as Arizona ran as effectively as they have all year, and had the Warner-to-Fitz express working as well. RB Edgerrin James was tearing off yardage in big chunks -- something he didn’t do even during his recent resurgence -- and the O-line was keeping the Eagles rush off him for the most part. But the highlight was the 62-yard double pass TD from RB JJ Arrington to Warner to Fitzgerald early in the 2nd quarter, which gave Arizona a 14-3 lead, and set the tone for the game. It was quite reminiscent of the to flea flicker from Warner to Fitz in the 1st quarter of the wild card round against Atlanta, which gave the Cards a 7-0 lead and set the tone for that game.

There’s no question Haley had some guidance from head coach Ken Whisenhunt, a former offensive coordinator known for his effective use of trick plays -- like the WR pass from Antwaan Randle El to Hines Ward he called in Pittsburgh’s Super Bowl victory three years ago. But coordinators get hired and fired based largely on their ability to call the right play at the right time, and Haley was all over it on Sunday. Besides the big plays, he also did a great job on the Arizona drive in the 4th quarter which resulted in the game-winning TD.

Philly had scored 19 straight points to grab a 25-24 lead. Arizona was on the ropes, struggling on offense, and badly in need of a momentum-changing drive. Facing a 4th and 1 at the Philly 49, Whisenhunt and Haley went with a run to RB Tim Hightower around the end (despite the fact Hightower had been stuffed on the previous play, a 3rd and 2). The play gained six yards, thanks largely to a block by FB Terrell Smith at the edge on CB Quintin Mikell. Then on 3rd and goal from the Philly 8-yard line, Haley again dialed up the right call, a screen pass to Hightower again for the game-deciding score to send the Cardinals to their very first Super Bowl. The Cardinals and Super Bowl -- it doesn’t sound right, but it is.

WHOOPS: In my Friday post before the playoffs, I ranked all the teams playing wild card weekend in terms of their chances to make the Super Bowl. I ranked Arizona last. Don't laugh, in the poll which accompanied that post, you all voted Arizona last as well -- they got one vote out of 100 cast (that guy should take a bow right about now). Before the second round, I re-seeded the teams and again picked the Cards last. Again, in the poll, you did as well -- they got two votes out of 210 cast. So I thought I'd give us a chance to explain ourselves. What happened? Were the Cards lucky to play the right teams at the right time and avoid cold weather? We were we stupid? Or was it just that unpredictable? Has parity made the NFL playoffs such a crapshoot that any team can get hot and run the table? Am I asking too many questions?

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Welcome to the ‘Any Given Friday’, where we think the defenses might out-score the offenses in Pittsburgh this weekend, where we’re wondering whether Mike Nolan might petition the league to become the first D-coordinator to wear a suit on the sidelines, and where we wouldn't pay a dime to watch Pac-Man Jones play football, but we can't get enough of listening to him talk.

UP CLOSE & PERSONAL: I woke up a little late last Sunday, just before kickoff, so I missed all the pregame shows. I did, however, record ‘The NFL Today’, and watched it sped through it on my TiVo, stopping to laugh at Dan Marino’s attempts at making a point, and Bill Cowher’s attempts at English. Toward the end of the show, was James Brown's interview with Pac-Man Jones and his lawyer, Red-Faced Dude With Toupee Hair about allegations that Jones ordered the murder of a guy who disrespected his lady friend in a strip club (I really hate it when that happens). 

Now, you may have seen Stephen A. Smith’s interview with Pac-Man and Red-Faced Dude on ESPN, discussing the same allegations, but that was a little more of a side-show -- it was Stephen A., after all. But J.B. was at his professional best, and went all Jim Grey on Pac-Man, peppering him over and over with the same questions about his transgressions, and even making critical comments on the situation which weren’t even questions (maybe he thought he was the one being interviewed?). Pac-Man didn't help his case much, mumbling "scrip club" and "I had a drinking problem" a whole lot.

Then, at the end, JB flipped the switch into Oprah mode, giving Pac some homespun, fatherly advice -- that before he worried about getting back in the league, Jones should make sure that he “succeed in the game of life”. It really was one of the highlights of the season for me. If JB doesn't win a Sports Emmy for that, he'll fire his publicist. Although I will say one thing in favor of Stephen A.'s interview: he did get Pac-Man to say, about why he was hanging out in strip clubs, “I was just bein' rebellion".

I think we just found the title to his inevitable reality show -- 'Bein' Rebellion With Pac-Man Jones'.

NO, NOT THOSE SAFETIES, THE OTHER SAFETIES: I’ve been writing all year about what seems to be a tremendous rise in the amount of safeties (the 2-point play), but this weekend you'll probably hear a whole lot more about safeties (the defensive backs). Each team playing on Sunday has an outstanding safety playing for them, one their defense depends on for big plays and leadership.

Pittsburgh’s Troy Polamalu had a career high seven INT’s this season, and ranks among the game’s hardest hitting safeties. That group also includes Brian Dawkins, Philly’s longtime team leader who forced a career-high six fumbles this year. Baltimore’s Ed Reed is the NFL’s premiere ballhawk, leading the league in INT’s this season with nine. Arizona’s underrated (at least, outside the NFC West) Adrian Wilson does a little bit everything -- hard hits, tackling (he’s topped 100 twice, 75 this year), the occasional sack (he had eight in 2005, 2.5 this year), and forcing turnovers. The teams which win will probably look back to great play from their standout safety as one of the big reasons why.

CINDERELLA VS. CINDERELLA?: Never before have both #6 seeds made it to the conference championship games in the same year, so it's a bit surprising neither is an overwhelming underdog. Not only have Philly and Baltimore survived two road games to make it one step from the Super Bowl, they both can make excellent cases for why they will be in Tampa in two weeks. Philly is favored in their game on the road, playing a team they beat 48-20 in the regular season. Baltimore is a road dog, but they played Pittsburgh very tough in both their matchups this year (more on this later). 

Of course, arguments for both home teams as well -- Arizona is hot and has played very well at home, and Pittsburgh is the top remaining seed and is 2-0 vs. the Ravens this year. So, what say you, Niners Nation? Who do you think will be playing in the big game?

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Welcome to 'After Further Review...', where we think all these upsets are making the NFL playoffs feel like March Madness, where we can't wait for Steelers/Ravens III ("This time, it's for Tampa"), and where we'd like to remind you we wrote on this in Friday's post: "we were tempted to take each of the four road dogs this weekend (yes, even Arizona)."

I also said the divisional round was the best week, with the most shocking upsets, even of #1 seeds. So what happens? Both #1 seeds take it in on the chin, and a #2 as well. The Arizona upset of Carolina felt like a #10 seed beating a #2 to make the Sweet 16. Of all the top seeds, only Pittsburgh won at home, and will host one championship game, while Arizona, the red-headed stepchild of the NFC playoffs, will host the other -- the only 9-7 team ever to host a championship game.

Cinderellas were lurking everywhere: both #6 seeds are in championship games for the same time ever, and #6's are now 4-0 against #1 seeds in the last four games, after losing all of the previous 10. Most of us got Tennessee right in the upset poll last week, and several folks took Philly (a select few even picked Carolina). Unfortunately, when it came to my bracket picks, I didn't have the cojones to take the Cinderellas I liked. See, I wanted to take Arizona, honest I did. And I wasn't all that hot on New York, either. I only ended up only picking one road team (luckily, it was Baltimore), so I got two of the Final Four right. Why didn't I have a great 3-1 or 4-0 weekend, with at least two upset picks? Because I was too much of a [SITE DECORUM] to go with my gut. Let that be a lesson to you youngsters out there: Don't be a [SITE DECORUM]. 

Philly beat New York 23-11 -- the only game ever to end with that score. Just like the only 11-10 game ever earlier this year. Why all these weird scores involving the number 11? The power of the safety, baby. The power of the safety. And you know what that means...

SAFETYWATCH '08: That's right -- you know it, you love it, you can't live without it*...

Giants DE Justin Tuck forced Eagles QB Donovan McNabb into an intentional grounding in the end zone for a safety in the 2nd quarter Sunday. I really think we're headed for a Super Bowl-deciding safety this year. It's my dream, and it's my nightmare. And with either Baltimore or Pittsburgh in the game, it's damn likely as well.

* Not true.

SUCKER PUNCHED: Last week, I wrote about how the divisional round of the playoffs provides the opportunity for a hot team coming off a big win (and often a string of them) to knock off a conference power coming off a bye (and often rusty). I mentioned how a great season can be derailed by one flat effort, one bad matchup, one otherworldly performance. Bill Simmons often writes about “The Gut Punch Game”, where a team loses a game it seemingly had in the bag. Well, this should be called “The Sucker Punch Game”, because you almost never see it coming, and because that’s the best way for any underdog to win a fight -- by knocking the bigger guy on his ass before he knows what’s going on. Kind of like Michael Westbrook v. Stephen Davis (scroll down to #9). 

No game this weekend better exemplified this phenomenon than Cards/Panthers. Carolina came out looking very strong, scoring a TD on their opening drive after only five plays -- gashing Arizona on the ground, left and right. It looked like a replay of the Cardinals other games vs. playoff opponents down the stretch, when they quickly fell behind 21-0 to Philly, Minnesota, and New England. Unfortunately, it looked like the Panthers had seen those game tapes, because they immediately went into sleepwalk mode, as if Arizona would just lay down for them. They didn’t.

The Cardinals did what they’ve struggled to do all year on the road -- take an early punch, and counter back with their own attack rather than roll up into a ball. They scored to tie the game, then recovered a fumble, and turned that into another score. The rest is a blur, but it involves a whole lot of Jake Delhomme throwing picks and Larry Fitzgerald running wild through the Panther secondary (more on them in a moment). Before it was over, the Cardinals had run off 33 straight points, and the score looked just about how most people expected -- except in reverse -- 33-13. 

I don’t think there’s much doubt the Panthers suffered the sucker punch of the weekend -- a supposedly soft passing team from a dome, with a coach in his first playoffs goes on the road to take down the running-and-defense team with the coach who’s been to a Super Bowl.

TURNING POINT #1: Donovan McNabb had just thrown a pick. His team was down 11-10, and his offensive numbers did not look good. The Eagles' only TD came on a one-yard drive, Giants rush was getting to him, and the crowd was into it. He faced a 3rd and 20 when he dropped back to pass, had to avoid both Tuck and Mathias Kiwanuka in the backfield, but twisted away from both (injuring Kiwanuka in the process). Finding a little space, he found WR Jason Avant for a 21-yard gain, and a huge first down. The Eagles got another big 3rd down conversion from WR Kevin Curtis (after he dropped what would’ve been a long gain), and eventually kicked a FG to take a 13-11 lead. That was a lead they would never lose, as they ended up coasting to a surprisingly easy win. So easy, McNabb felt comfortable making a phone call during the game -- from the Giants bench, picking up a 15-yard penalty. McNabb told FOX’s Chris Meyers he shouldn’t have done that, but something tells me the Giants and their fans might remember that one for awhile.

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Welcome to ‘Any Given Friday’, where the divisional round of the playoffs is  traditionally our favorite week of the season, where we can’t understand how a guy who just got fired from the Jets has a new job already while a guy who just interviewed for the Jets opening has been fired already, and where we were tempted to take each of the four road dogs this weekend (yes, even Arizona).

There’s nothing worse than earning the bye, waiting for a week, and then getting kicked in the teeth at home by some wild card team on a roll. Actually, getting kicked in the teeth is a more pleasant experience than watching the Vikings beat the 13-2 #1 seed Niners in this debacle at The Stick in January of '88. The 49ers seemed flawless during the regular season, but had two rookie CB's (Don Griffin and Tim McKyer) seeing significant time. Anthony Carter exploited that to have one of the all-time great post-season performances -- 10 catches, 227 yards, and two circus catches which would make Jerry Rice blush (while Rice was held to three catches for 28 yards). That was bad enough, but seeing Joe Montana throw a pick-6 and then get benched for Steve Young (in his first year with the team) was like a knife to the gut.

I was so bummed out after that game, I laid on my bed in the dark for hours. I wouldn't even take calls from my friends. That’s all I could really do -- I was a kid, and liquor had yet to enter my life. Unfortunately, when the defending world champion Niners lost at home after a bye to the Packers in this disaster in January of '96, liquor was a key component in me splintering my coffee table with an aluminum bat. I was enraged when the Niners first play from scrimmage went to FB Adam Walker, who had a cast on one hand and had struggled to hold on to anything late in the year. Walker fumbled, and it was returned for a TD by CB Craig Newsome. I only got angrier (and drunker) as both Green Bay’s TE’s Mark Chmura and Keith Jackson caught TD’s on obvious pick plays that had Niners SS Tim McDonald in the ref’s faces). That year, McDonald had increasingly been a target for passers, as he'd lost a step off of what was never great speed -- Favre and his receivers exploited that. 

The point is, this is the weekend where those small flaws get exploited, where a sluggish start can spell a quick finish for even the greatest of seasons. That’s what all the fans of this weekend’s home teams are worrying about right now. Will they be rusty? What if they come out flat, and the road dog takes the lead early? How will they respond to adversity? 

Sometimes the matchups just don’t go your way. Other times it might be a key injury. And sometimes someone just goes Anthony Carter all over your ass. Either way, both top seeds don’t usually end up the conference title games. The question is, who will be the top seed staying home? Here are my rankings -- from most likely to win to most likely to be upset:

Carolina -- Arizona played them very tough in Week 8, the focus and film study will be better, Arizona hasn’t beaten a non-NFC West team on the road this year, Boldin’s injury is a major question mark for the Cards. You get the idea.

New York -- They may be playing a division rival for the third time -- always tough, as they know from last year’s divisional round upset at Dallas -- and they may have lost to them only five weeks ago at home, but I think they are probably still the best overall team in football.

Pittsburgh -- The Chargers have already played the Steelers tough in Pittsburgh once this season, losing that infamous 11-10 game. And despite their injuries, San Diego has been great in the playoffs under Turner, even playing well on the road -- including a win in this round last year at Indy, also without LT.

Tennessee -- This isn’t a slam on the team, but they have several the things you look for in a potential upset victim -- 1) non-dominant offense (if they fall behind, they’ll be in trouble), 2) questionable QB (think of Collins trying to throw to win late against Ed Reed), 3) a previous game against the same opponent where they almost lost -- and won due to a bad call.

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Welcome to 'After Further Review...', where we watched every minute of every playoff game this weekend and have the couch sores to prove it, where we don't understand why nobody's talking about the fact the Colts got screwed by the refs Saturday night, and where we think the battle of minds between Andy Reid and Brad Childress in the last minute of the first half in Minnesota was a great clinic for coaches -- on what not to do.

We'll get to the rest of the odds, ends and trends around the Wild Card round of the NFL playoffs in a second, but first the moment you've all been waiting for...

SAFETYWATCH '08 '09: Yes folks, you can't keep a good fad down. And safeties are a good fad, maybe the best of fads. Not only did Arizona get one safety when DE Antonio Smith got credit for a sack in the end zone when QB Matt Ryan was ruled "in the grasp", despite getting the ball off -- and completing it -- but they should've had another. DE Bertrand Berry was clearly held by Cards T Sam Baker in the end zone, but the refs missed the call. 

There were several other near misses as well -- Donovan McNabb in Minnesota and Philip Rivers against Indy. Mark my words, the safety will strike again. And we'll be there when it does. Stay tuned...

THE PLAYER OF THE WEEK: If you had asked me before this weekend if it was even possible that a punter could be the most important player in a playoff weekend, I would’ve said, "no way", or "get away from me". But it’s not often a punter plays the deciding role in a game -- at least, in a non-Niners game -- and Chargers P Mike Scifres went above and beyond the call of duty Saturday night, putting on a display even Andy Lee would be proud of. Hell, I’ve never seen Lee -- or any punter, for that matter -- have a game like Scifres did against the Colts. And I saw Ray Guy play.

Scifres had six punts -- all pinned Indy’s 20-yard line (the first time in playoff history a punter has had that many), five were at or inside their 10-yard line, three inside the 5. Three of the five inside the 10 were directly converted into Colt punts followed by Charger points -- resulting in all 17 points they scored in regulation. What’s more, Scifres averaged 52.7 yards a punt, third best in playoff history. That’s amazing distance coupled with extremely precise placement. That’s unbeatable.

You could make the argument, he was their best offensive player due to the points he caused, though RB Darren Sproles would have something to say about that (see below). But there’s almost no doubt in my mind that he was their best defensive player. The Colts, like most teams, were conservative in the shadow of their goal line, and the Colts don’t do conservative very well. They weren’t a good running team during the season, and that didn’t change Saturday. But they passed well when they had the ball in good field position. Thanks to Mike Scifres, that wasn’t very often.

THE "DARREN SPROLES X-FACTOR AWARD" GOES TO...: If you didn't seen this going to Chargers RB/KR/PR/Colt Killer Darren Sproles, then you're not paying attention. Sproles went off Saturday night, subbing for starter LaDainian Tomlinson (again), who was injured (again), and killing the Colts (again). The 5'6", 181-pounder had 328 total yards, third-most in NFL playoff history (Ed Podolak KC - 350, Keith Lincoln, SD - 329), and scored two TD's -- including the game-winner in OT. He had 105 yards rushing, 45 receiving, 106 on kick returns, and 72 more on punts.

This isn't the first time Sproles has has helped the Charger beat Indy -- it's the third time in two years. Last year in the regular season, Sproles didn't get a single touch on offense in the Chargers 23-21 win, but still managed to be his team's best scoring weapon. He took back the opening kickoff 89 yards for a TD, and ran back a punt 45 yards for another score less than 10 minutes later as San Diego jumped out to a 23-0 1st half lead. In the playoffs last year at Indy, Sproles only got two touches on offense in the Chargers 28-24 win, but took one of them 56 yards for the go-ahead TD on the last play of the 3rd quarter to help escort the Colts form the post-season.

The only game in the last two years where he didn't do major damage against Indy was earlier this season, when he only got four touches on offense. Sproles is a free agent after the season, but if he stays with San Diego, the Chargers might want to consider using him more against the Colts -- even if Tomlinson is healthy. In fact, the Colts might want to think about signing him just to keep him from ending their seasons every year.

THE MULLIGAN: As a whole, we as a community pretty much screwed the pooch on our poll last week. An overwhelming percentage picked Indy -- myself included (though the numbers are skewed due to some late arrivals picking after Indy lost). In our defense, Vegas saw it the same way. In my defense, I stated my fears right out front about how the Chargers always gave the Colts a hard time. Either way, a whole lot changed over the weekend, so I thought I'd give us all a second chance to make a first impression. Knowing what you know now, who is the best bet of the weekend's winners to make it to the Super Bowl?

Here's my re-re-seeding: 1. Philly, 2. Baltimore, 3. San Diego, 4. Arizona

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Welcome to ‘Any Given Friday’, where we find it hard to believe Eric Mangini went from “Mangenius” to fired in the span of two years (especially since the last was a winning one), where we can’t remember any playoff week before where all the road teams were favored, and where the NFL postseason gives us tingly feelings in places we don't feel comfortable talking about in public.

If there was ever a week to show us the seedings in the NFL playoffs mean nothing, this is it. With smaller divisions, the odds go up that mediocre teams can win bad divisions (see: Arizona and San Diego), while better teams are wild cards because they happen to reside in the same division as a conference power (see: Indy, Baltimore, and Atlanta). That's how you get a week when three of the four road teams have better records than the teams hosting them (Baltimore and Miami have the same record). The lower eight seeds are as jumbled as ever.

In recent years, we’ve seen lesser seeds which played on wild card weekend go on runs to win the Super Bowl -- Pittsburgh, Indy, and the Giants. The question is, if one of the lower eight seeds goes on such a run, which is the most likely? To find out, I've re-seeded the teams -- not according to who has had the best year, or even who is the best team overall, but who has the best chance to advance in the specific conditions set forth in this year's playoffs. Here’s my list, please feel free to leave your own in the comments section:

1. Indy -- The funny thing is, I’m not even sure they’ll get through Saturday’s matchup -- the Chargers have played the Colts exceptionally tough over the past three seasons (more on this below). In fact, the Colts go against everything you usually look for this time of year -- the ability to run and stop the run. But nine wins in a row is still nine in a row. And they couldn't stop the run before the playoffs in 2006, but got healthy and rounded into shape at the right time of year. They may be doing it again, and just about every key player on the team already has a ring, so they know the way. If RB Joseph Addai and the O-line are back near 100%, and they manage to get through this week, they could be trouble.

2. Philly -- The Eagles are a team nobody wants to play. Defensive coordinator Jim Johnson’s blitz pac kages give play callers nightmares, and when QB Donovan McNabb and RB Brian Westbrook are on their game, they can lay 35+ on somebody. Of course, they’re also capable of struggling to get double-digits. The Eagles are a gambler’s nightmare, mainly because you just don’t know which offense will show up. But their D has allowed a n average of just 10 points over the last quarter of the season. If they keep up their improved play, they’re a good bet to keep advancing.

3. Atlanta -- My pet second team has a lot of the elements which can carry teams in the playoffs -- a dominant running game, a good QB who doesn’t turn the ball over, and a great pass rusher. However, they're also a dome team, with a defense in the bottom third against both the run and pass -- that could bite them down the road. Also, there’s not much of track record of success among rookie QB’s (or rookie head coaches) in the NFL playoffs. Still, they're terrific front-runners with their ability to control the clock with RB Michael Turner, and rush the passer with DE John Abraham.

4. Baltimore -- Anytime you can play defense like the Ravens can, you have a chance. Because of a reliance on the running game with RB's Willis McGahee and LeRon McClain, Flacco hasn’t really been exposed yet, but falling behind on the road in the playoffs has a funny way of doing that. I think before it's all said and done, he'll need to show a little more than he already has. Two reasons they're not higher: 1) They are 0-3 vs. Pittsburgh and Tennessee, two teams between them and the Super Bowl, and 2) See: above note about rookie coaches and QB’s in the playoffs.

5. San Diego -- QB Philip Rivers led the NFL in passer rating (by a lot -- 105.5 to Chad Pennington’s 97.4), threw for over 4,000 yards and 34 TD’s, and carried the team for much of the season. If they continue to allow teams to throw on them at will, he'll need to stay every bit as hot in the playoffs (possibly without TE Antonio Gates). But if RB LaDainian Tomlinson can overcome his injuries and can run again like he ran last week vs. Denver, this team can go deep. Unfortunately, that’s no sure bet. 

6. Miami -- Not turning the ball over and playing good defense can go a long way in the playoffs. So can running the ball and stopping the run. Miami does both, so their game should be able to travel pretty well to the northeast. They are every bit the typical, old-school built-for-the-playoffs team the Colts aren't. So why are they #6 while the Colts are #1: They lack the offensive fire power to shoot it out with the big boys. However, as long as they can keep the scores down, they have a shot.

7. Minnesota -- With RB Adrian Peterson and an All-Star defensive line capable of both rushing the passer and stuffing the run, you’d think the Vikings might be a little higher on this list. With Tarvaris Jackson at QB and Brad Childress at head coach, you wouldn’t. It's a tough trade-off, because Peterson is always capable of carrying them on his back if the D does its job, but I just don't see it.

8. Arizona -- As long as Arizona is at home (6-2 record), or another dome (1-0), or on the west coast (2-0), their fine. But put them on the east coast, or in some weather, and they fall part quicker than Dick Vermeil watching 'Brian's Song'.

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Welcome to 'After Further Review...', where we might have to go on IR with a sprained thumb after all the channel changing we did to keep up with the playoff picture, where we can’t figure out if that coal in the Patriots’ stocking was left by Santa or Karma, and where we think it’s appropriate that Tampa has most strip clubs per capita of anywhere in the US, because there was a whole lotta Bush on display there Sunday.

Week 17 may have fallen a couple of days after Christmas, but there were a couple of teams who woke up Sunday morning hoping for some better-late-than-never gifts. The Patriots needed a loss by either Baltimore or Miami -- coupled with their win -- to make the playoffs as a wild card or division winner, respectively. The Eagles needed a Tampa Bay loss and a loss by either Chicago or Minnesota -- coupled with their own win -- to make it as a wild card (some ties could've factored in, but we all those never happen). The Bucs, Bears, and Jets also needed to win and get help, but as we know by now, they couldn't hold up their end of the bargain (more on this later). The Pats and Eagles both won, but Santa wasn't nearly as kind to one as it was the other...

YES DONOVAN, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS: The Eagles were exceptionally fortunate, getting everything on their Christmas list -- losses by the Bucs to Oakland and Bears at Houston, which set the stage for a play-in game at home against struggling rival, Dallas. This time the Good Eagles showed up -- Philly might be the most scizophrenic offense in football, capable of scoring 38 or three. They came out fast, and overcame an early Brian Westbrook fumble to lay a 44-6 whipping on Dallas they won’t soon forget.

We should’ve known from years of watching the NFL when the Eagles got that tie -- that tie Donovan McNabb didn’t even know was possible, that tie that polarized the league for a week or two, that one -- it would be the difference in their season. The difference between making the playoffs and having a puncher’s chance at that long-awaited title, or missing them, and most likely saying not-so-teary goodbyes to McNabb, Andy Reid, and an entire era. Of course, most of us probably would’ve thought that 1/2-game would cost them the last spot, not be the difference in getting them in. 

In that game against Cincy, they never really threatened to win. After tying the game late to force OT, the Eagles needed a missed Shayne Graham FG late in OT to escape with the tie. If that’s a loss, they’d stand at 9-7 -- the same as Chicago, Tampa, and Dallas, all of whom have the same or better conference records. That would've made for a mighty sticky tiebreaker situation.

So, I wonder what Donovan thinks of that rule, now?

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR: The Pats were not nearly as lucky. They played the early game, and shut out Buffalo 13-0 in a monsoon which played havoc with kicks and passes and even bent goalposts. (it even prompted a quick kick by Matt Cassel). Then they had to sit back and pin their hopes on the Jags and Jets in the afternoon. Early on in Baltimore, Jacksonville hung tough, leading after a quarter 7-3. But soon it was clear the Ravens were prepared to take care of business, and by halftime they led 24-7. So the Patriots and their fans had to pin all their hopes and dreams for the 2008 season on the fading Jets and the disintegrating Brett Favre. I don't know who felt dirtier about the situation, Pats fans still pissed about Parcells and Mangini, or Jets fans, who hate the Pats for Belichick.

The Jets jumped out to a 6-0 lead after one quarter, but missed a huge opportunity when LB Eric Barton dropped a sure pick-6 when he undercut a route and QB Chad Pennington hit him between the numbers. Miami quickly stormed back with two TD's in the 2nd quarter -- the second coming on a pick-6 off of Favre by DL Phillip Merling. New York closed it to 14-9 on a FG at the end of the half, but missed a chance to do more damage when TE Dustin Keller dropped a Favre pass in the end zone on 3rd and goal. In the 2nd half, the Jets came out strong and took the lead, but soon both teams did what they do best. What Miami does best is play defense and control the ball -- 33:48 time of possession, only one turnover (more on that later). And what the Jets do best is collapse, usually with Favre playing a leading role (more on that in a moment).

The Dolphins won to complete their amazing revival, going from a team which lost its division by a record 15 games last year to a team which won it this year. As for the Pats, they'll just have to take their shiny 11-5 record and go home for the winter. I'm sure they won't be the least bit annoyed that the Chargers will be hosting a playoff game with their 8-8 record. In fact, I'll bet Bill Belichick is chuckling at the irony of the whole situation right now.

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Welcome to Any Given Friday, where we love watching any game where you can see the announcer’s breath in the booth while we’re warm and cozy at home in our Snuggie, where we can’t remember the last time all 32 teams played on one day, and where we think the best hit Brian Urlacher has made all year came on the coin tossed before OT Monday night. 

If you ask me, it’s the best term in sports. “Controlling your own destiny”. So grand. So powerful. On Sunday night, Bob Costas said it was one of his pet peeves. He explained that destiny, by definition, cannot be controlled. Well, I say Bob Costas is a dirty commie, and should be hung from the highest flagpole at the earliest opportunity. 

Controlling your own destiny is what America is all about. Hell, controlling your own destiny is how America came to be. The Brits had to make the road trip over here and win on our turf, and we said, “Not in our house!” And we’re still kickin’ ass and takin’ names 230+ years later. If Costas doesn’t like that, he can take his dictionary and go broadcast pro football in China or North Korea or someplace.

But honestly, isn’t that what we all want out of life -- a chance to prove ourselves worthy, a chance to succeed or fail on our own terms? Of course, it is. This is America, dammit! And I won't stand here while you bad-mouth the United States of America!

So, before we look at the games, let's review who is the master of their domain, and who is left scoreboard watching from the sidelines...

TEAMS WHO CONTROL THEIR OWN DESTINY:

Each of the following teams make the playoffs with a win. Some can make it with a loss if they get help, but some of those permutations are so complicated I got a headache just thinking about thinking about them.

Miami (10-5) -- A win at the Jets, and the Dolphins win the AFC East.

Baltimore (10-5) -- A win at home vs. Jacksonville, and the Ravens make the playoffs as the last wild card in the AFC.

Denver (8-7)* -- A win at San Diego, and the Broncos win the AFC West.

Minnesota (9-6)* -- A win at home against the Giants, and the Vikings win the NFC North.

Dallas (9-6)* -- A win at Philly, and the Cowboys are in as a wild card.

San Diego (7-8) -- A win at home vs. Denver, and the Chargers win the AFC West.

TEAMS WHO NEED HELP:

Okay, here’s where it gets complicated. In other words, this is where I cut and paste from ESPN.com.

New England (10-5) -- The Patriots clinch the AFC East title with a New England win and Miami loss or tie OR New England tie and Miami loss. The Patriots clinch a wild-card spot with a New England win and Baltimore loss or tie OR New England tie and Baltimore loss.

Chicago (9-6) -- The Bears clinch the NFC North with a Chicago win and Minnesota loss or tie OR Chicago tie and Minnesota loss. The Bears clinch a wild-card spot with a Chicago win and Dallas loss or tie and Tampa Bay loss or tie OR Chicago tie and Dallas loss and Tampa Bay loss.

Philadelphia (8-6-1)** -- The Eagles clinch a wild-card spot with a Philadelphia win and Tampa Bay loss and Minnesota loss OR Philadelphia win and Tampa Bay loss and Chicago loss.

Tampa Bay (9-6)** -- The Buccaneers clinch a wild-card spot with a Tampa Bay win and Dallas loss or tie OR Tampa Bay tie and Dallas loss and Minnesota loss or tie OR Tampa Bay tie and Dallas loss and Chicago loss or tie OR Tampa Bay tie and Dallas tie and Minnesota tie and Chicago win or tie OR Tampa Bay tie and Dallas tie and Chicago tie and Minnesota win or tie.

NY Jets (9-6)** -- The Jets clinch the AFC East title with a Jets win and New England loss. The Jets clinch a wild-card spot with a Jets win and Baltimore loss.

* “If at first you don't succeed...": Teams who still control their destiny despite losing last week.

** “Sheepishly hoping": Teams who had controlled their destiny until they lost last week.

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Welcome to ‘After Further Review...’, where we think this will be the greatest Christmas Week 17 ever, where we realized this weekend that the Titans and Giants were who we thought they were, and where we were ready to help Mike Singletary choke Shaun Hill at 12:30 Sunday, and an hour later we were online ordering him a Jane Seymour Open Heart Necklace for Christmas.

All season, it appeared the Tennessee Titans would be the top seed in the AFC, and the New York Giants would be the top seed in the NFC. Then, during the last couple of weeks, things started get a little squirrely for the Titans and Giants. But in the end, the NFL season gave us what the famous screenwriting guru Robert McKee (immortalized in 'Adaptation.') always advises for storytelling -- give the audience what they expect, but not in the same they expect it. On Sunday, both teams took their place atop their respective conferences -- one with a little more grace than the other.

Without any further ado, ladies and gentlemen, your #1 conference seeds, starting with the AFC...

THE SUBSTITUTE: Man, the Titans sure are gonna miss Albert Haynesworth, huh? Yeah, that’s what a lot of people said. Hell, that what I said. And I’m a freaking football genius and stuff. But maybe we all need to take a step back and re-evaluate. Rookie Jason Jones, Haynesworth’s replacement on the D-line, recorded three and a half sacks and three forced fumbles as the Titans shut down the Steelers, beating them 31-14 to lock up the #1 seed in the AFC.

The Titans defense will get much of the credit because of their injuries (Haynesworth and fellow DT Kyle Vanden Bosch), and because they were facing Ben Roethlisberger and the red-hot Steelers, but Tennessee came out strong on offense as well. The Titans took an early 10-0 lead on a Pittsburgh D which came into the game on a record streak: They had tied the 1973 Rams for most consecutive games allowing less than 300 total yards at 14. The Titans ended that streak, racking up 323 total, and keeping the ‘73 Rams in the record book. (Somewhere Deacon Jones just pumped his fist and made a disparaging remark about players “these days”.)

It wasn’t a cake-walk for Tennessee, who took Pittsburgh’s best shot in the middle part of the game. The Steelers held the Titans scoreless for almost 28 minutes from the end of the 1st quarter until late in the 3rd, and use d that defensive surge to score 14 straight to take the lead 14-10. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, who had two big fumbles early -- including one on the Tennessee goal line -- rebounded to throw for 331 yards and 2 TD’s (the first two 20+ yard TD passes the Titans had allowed all year. But the Titans used two Roethlisberger INT’s -- one a Pick-6 by CB Michael Griffin -- and a big game from Justin Gage (5 catches, 104 yards, TD) to ice the game. 

So the Titans clinch home field advantage through the playoffs, and won’t play another important game for three weeks. Sometimes, teams are afraid of having non-competitive games heading into the playoffs, but Tennessee has to be thrilled to know they’ll have time to get their big men healthy for the stretch drive.

One moment to bookmark: After the game on the sidelines, Titans RB LenDale White  was caught on camera throwing a Terrible Towel on the ground and stomping on it. Nice, LenDale! Way to flip the bird to that proud team you might still play in a few weeks with your entire season on the line! That openly disrespecting your future oppenent stuff always works!

GONE WITH THE WIND: For a minute there I doubted the Giants. I’d spent most of the season saying they were the best team in the league -- even when Tennessee was undefeated. I’m usually loathe to praise a New York team. I especially don’t like saying they are the best team in the sport. But it was so obvious, even I couldn’t deny it. But that all changed in the last couple of weeks.

I wasn’t overly concerned about Plaxico Burress being a distraction for the team, as I was about the Giants not having his services the rest of the season. With Brandon Jacobs also hurt, I started to wonder if they were as strong as that teamed that wowed me all season. Especially when they stumbled each of the last two weeks. 

I still picked them to win this week, but by the time they were down 21-10 in the 2nd quarter on Sunday night, their mojo seemed to be long gone. I was already thinking about the prospect of “Carolina Panthers, #1 seed”, and all the “Changing of the Guard”-type stories on ESPN this week. But no. The Giants still had one trick left up their sleeves, the same trick they’ve played every time things look bleak for them. They played The "Running Game” Card.

The Giants stormed back into the game behind two of their three-headed backfield, nicknamed “Earth, Wind and Fire”. Riding “Wind” down the field (Derrick Ward -- 15 rushes, 215 yards) and “Earth” into the end zone (Brandon Jacobs -- 24 carries, 87 yards, 3 TD’s), the Giants racked up their most rushing yards (301) in a game since 1959. New York used the first pass interference penalty against Carolina all season(!) to tie the game 28-28 with a TD and two-point conversion with just four minutes left.

Carolina drove down to the New York 33-yard line with just :09 remaining, and was able to attempt a 50-yard FG to win the game, and lock up home field advantage throughout the playoffs. John Kasay’s kick was headed straight down the middle, but the famously swirling Meadowlands winds (aptly gauged by sideline reporter Andrea Kremer just prior to the kick) swept the ball wide of the posts, and the game went to OT. There, they were swept away by another wind, Ward, who had two long runs to set up an easy plunge by Jacobs to ice the game and the #1 seed.

Now the Giants face that age-old dilemma: Whether or not to go all out in game you don’t need -- New York plays Minnesota next week in a game the Vikings need desperately to win their division. If last season -- when the Giants played their hearts out in the last week of the regular season against a New England team striving for perfection -- is any indication, Tom Coughlin won’t lie down for the Vikings.

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Welcome to 'Any Given Friday', where we love it when the NFL is on four days a week (even if our wife doesn't), where we can't remember so many big games between potential playoff teams in one week before (including head-to-head games for the #1 seed in each conference), and where we'd never call ourselves the worst blogger in America (at least, not as long as howtheyscored is still posting).

The league has several great choices for coach of the year -- it does every year. But what makes this year remarkable is that three of the very best candidates are rookie coaches -- Tony Sparano, John Harbaugh, and Mike Smith. These aren’t just coaches in their first year with new teams, but first time head coaches -- guys with no prior experience. All three have their teams at 9-5 and in the thick of the playoff hunt.

I've mentioned this before here, but the only season I can recall with three rookie coaches this successful was 1992, when Dennis Green took over the Vikings, Bill Cowher became the head man in Pittsburgh (both went 11-5), and Mike Holmgren grabbed the reins in Green Bay (9-7). Two of them went on to win Super Bowls (and lose Super Bowls) with those teams, and the other went to two conference championship games.

The only other virgin head coach this year (non-interim division), Jim Zorn, has Washington at a respectable 7-7 (though they did go 9-7 a year ago). He could've easily been in the discussion of the best rookie coach as well, if he hadn’t a) allowed the ‘Skins to fade badly down the stretch, b) needlessly benched and publicly criticized his best offensive player, and c) called himself “the worst coach in America”. This has only intensified rumors that Zorn might be one-and-done in D.C., a la Schottenheimer in 2001, and Daniel Snyder could be preparing to make Cowher an offer he can’t refuse. So, while Coach Zorn does his daily affirmation, Stuart Smalley-style, let’s narrow the discussion to The Big Three.

They come from different backgrounds -- offense, defense, and special teams. One (Smith) was a coordinator for five years at the pro level before being hired. The other two had never been coordinators at the pro level, Harbaugh never had at any level. The one common thread: They all changed their starting QB in the first year, either through trade or draft. So keep in mind, the GM’s for these teams should be getting a lot of credit as well. The question is, which of them has done the best job thus far. Before you answer, let’s take a closer look at the candidates:

Tony Sparano has completely turned around the 1-15 Dolphins, with a big (fat) helping hand from Bill Parcells. He’s relied on the running game (led by everybody’s favorite, the Wildcat formation) and a good defense (led by sackmaster Joey Porter). The acquisition of Pennington and health of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams gave him a good start, and he’s run with it. Sparano has led the biggest turnaround in terms of wins, but of course a lot of credit needs to go to Parcells. Bonus points for having a name resembling one famous TV character, and a face (and body) resembling another.

John Harbaugh has led his turnaround of 5-11 Baltimore with some help from rookie QB Joe Flacco, improved line play, and the Baltimore staple -- defense. They always had the defensive stars -- Ed Reed, Ray Lewis, Haloti Ngata -- but injuries and a hopeless offense took the sting out of their bite. Harbaugh has used Flacco’s ability to avoid big mistakes and a reliance on the running game to re-energize the D, and they’re playing as well as they have in years. But a lot of credit for that must go to defensive coordinator Rex Ryan. Bonus points for landing an NFL head coaching gig before Captain Comeback.

Mike Smith has done the seemingly impossible in Atlanta. Not just turning around the 4-12 Falcons, but making everybody forget about Michael Vick. A big assist goes to first-year GM Thomas Dmitrov for top pick Matt Ryan and free-agent acquisition Michael Turner. There was already talent there -- Roddy White, John Abraham, Jerious Norwood -- but those two changes more than anything appear to be responsible for the turnaround. Even so, the job Smith has done can’t be minimized -- given a choice of a franchise to take over this past off-season, I don’t think there were many who would’ve chosen Atlanta over Miami or Baltimore. Big, big bonus points for getting all up in Antonio Bryant’s grill. For that alone, he's got my vote. 

We'll take a look at all the weekend's games after the jump...

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Welcome to ‘After Further Review...', where we think the Ravens got screwed, where we’re blaming everything from the economy to our chronic body odor on the 49ers red zone offense, and where we think the guys running the Big Three U.S. automakers are doing a better job recently than the guys running the ‘Skins, Packers, and Bills.

But before we get to the odds, ends, and trends around the league in Week 15, we’re happy to welcome back an old friend...

SAFETYWATCH ‘08: They’re baaa-ack. Yes, after a one week hiatus, the league got back to its safety bender in the Sunday night game when Tony Romo was sacked, and fumbled out the back of the end zone. After Romo's safety, as NBC went to commercial, they played "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats.

Stay tuned, updates to follow as more information becomes available...

THE DEFINITION OF "INDISPUTABLE" IS INDISPUTABLE: Baltimore has a lot to complain about after their very tough 13-9 loss at to Pittsburgh on Sunday. They have reason to be angry with themselves -- they allowed the Steelers to drive 92 yards to score the game-winning TD, and also allowed a crucial sack on their second to last drive which cost them a shot at a FG (those points might have seriously changed the ending to their last drive, when they had to force the ball into the end zone). But they also have good reason to blame the referees. 

Twice it appeared the Ravens caught the short end of an instant replay review, resulting in 10 of Pittsburgh’s 13 points. In the 1st quarter, it appeared clear that Steelers RB Gary Russell was short on a 3rd and 1, but the officials on the field ruled it a 1st down. The replay seemed to show Russell was nowhere near the line to gain, but referee Walt Coleman (he, of many controversial replay rulings, including The "Tuck Rule" Game) ruled the evidence was not indisputable. While I disagreed, no angle was straight down the line, and I understood the need for 100% certainty for overturning a call. 

That’s why I was so dismayed at Coleman’s call on the game-winning TD pass from Roethlisberger to Santonio Holmes with :43 left. On the field, the call was that while Holmes’ body was in the end zone, the ball never was. The replays seemed to back up this call. The ball may (or may not) cross the goal line for an instant as it hits Holmes’ hands, but it’s unclear whether he has either two feet down, or complete control of the ball. To me, it was the dictionary definition of "disputable", so I was stunned when Coleman ruled it a TD. 

The replay rule is there to overturn obviously blown calls -- ones with indisputable visual evidence -- so we don’t have a huge game determined by a call everyone knows is wrong. But this was a 50/50 call, and those are supposed to stand. It may not have mattered -- the Steelers might’ve gone for it on 4th down and scored anyway. Or tied the game on a FG and won it in OT. But if I’m a Raven fan, I’m on the internet right now trying to get Walt Coleman’s e-mail so I could send him the Webster’s definition of "indisputable". I hope he’d see the irony that just by my disputing his call, I’d be proving it was not indisputable.

I’m not a Ravens fan, but it’s a shame to see a game decided by a call on the field being reversed without overwhelming evidence. Especially a game with as much riding on it as this. Pittsburgh now clinches their division, a 1st round bye, and plays Tennessee for a shot at the #1 seed in the AFC next week. Baltimore, meanwhile, has no time to stop and lick their wounds -- they face Dallas next week in a game the Cowboys need desperately.

X-FACTOR: This week’s selection is another repeat winner, joining Leon Washington and Peyton Hillis: Tashard "4th Round Draft" Choice. The rookie again starred for the Cowboys, leading the team in both rushing and receiving despite not even starting. Regular RB Marion Barber was back in the lineup to begin the game, but Choice was the one who finished off the Giants with a game-icing 38 yard TD run in the Cowboys 20-8 win. 

That run capped a night in which the rookie had four catches for 52 yards and nine carries for 91 yards. Those totals become all the more important when considering the Giants held Barber to just two yards rushing on eight carries, and he looked to be at less than 100%. Dallas needs every win they can get right now, and have a tough Baltimore team next week, so if Barber isn't all the way back, Choice could see significant action going forward. 

'MIRACLE AT THE MEADOWLANDS 2: ELECTRIC BUGALOO': Trailing 27-24 with just 2:06 to play, it appeared the Jets were just about to lose their 3rd straight game, fall out of 1st place, and continue to choke away their playoff chances. But then, the suddenly woeful Bills found a way to choke it up. Buffalo chose the pass on a 2nd and 5 on their own 27 (Mistake #1). J.P. Losman failed to recognize backside pressure and was sacked by S Abram Elam (Mistake #2). Losman fumbled (Mistake #3), DE Shaun Ellis scooped it up and rumbled in for the game-winning score. The Jets escaped with a 31-27 win, running their record to 9-5, and maintaining their three-way tie with the Patriots and Dolphins atop the AFC East.

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Welcome to ‘Any Given Friday’, where we’re still awed by Carolina’s running attack on Monday night, where we "called in gay" even though we're straight as an arrow, and where our new motto is "It is what it is, bro".

Since WR's are the divas of the NFL, most of the drama revolves around them. But besides one bit of news (which Fooch pointed out), most of the controversy this week surrounded RB's. Here's a rundown:

Clinton Portis: It was a quick trip for Portis from team MVP to benchwarmer. When he spent most of the 2nd half of the 'Skins/Ravens game wearing arctic gear on the sideline, I was sure it was his myriad injuries keeping him on the bench. But Coach Jim Zorn claimed he was prepared due to missing practice time. This seemed like odd reasoning to me -- and clearly to Portis, as well. He may be free spirit, known for his many personas -- besides Choo Choo (pictured above), there's Coach Janky Spanky, Dolemite Jenkins, Southeast Jerome, and Dollah Bill -- but he's always been thought of as a team guy, and someone you could count on. And considering the way Portis has carried the ‘Skins offensively this season, I have to conclude this was handled poorly by Zorn.

Marion Barber: Dallas is in the playoffs as of this moment, but this week's game is a near must-win for them to make the playoffs. So how does Jerry Jones try to motivate his team? He calls out Marion Barber in the press, saying he could’ve played against the Steelers, and questioning his toughness. I guess when you’re 18-32 in December and January over the past 12 years, you have to try whatever you can think of to keep your team from collapsing down the stretch. But that’s not too inspiring of a statement, especially when you have to quickly back-pedal away from it a couple of days later. Along with the escalating T.O. drama and whispers over Tony Romo's big game issues, could America's Team be in the headed for another December Dallas Disintegration?

"Smash and Dash": Carolina RB's DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart were so impressive against Tampa monday night -- with the MNF crew throwing around the nickname “Smash & Dash” -- it even caused some backlash. Titans RB LenDale White was pissed about having a nickname he claims to have coined -- and "trademarked and copy written" (I think he meant "copyrighted") for himself and Chris Johnson. He even has the t-shirts to prove it. This dispute raises two key issues: 1) When is a nickname officially taken? Maybe never -- considering that one of the greatest defensive players of all time, Lawrence Taylor, had his stolen while he was in the Hall of Fame. 2) Which of these two tandems, the Titans and Panthers, is the best in the NFL? Statistically, they've been remarkably similar so far this season:

YARDS PER GAME (NFL RANK): Tennessee 146.1 (3rd), Carolina 146.0 (4th)

YARDS PER CARRY: Tennessee 4.4 (7th), Carolina 4.8 (2nd)

TD’S: Tennessee 22 (2nd), Carolina 23 (1st)

Enough with the drama, let's get to the games...

San Francisco (5-8) at Miami (8-5)

Despite “Total ball security” has been one of Coach Singletary’s much talked about Formula for Success, the Niners were sorely lacking last week -- 5 fumbles, one INT. If Samurai Mike really wants to impress on his team that he’s serious about ball security, I think he should make them all switch from boxers to briefs. (I’ll wait a minute while you stop groaning at that one.) Still here? I admire your dedication.

After picking the Niners to beat the Cowboys only to see them lose, I’ve picked against them two straight weeks with much better results. So, I’m staying the course until further notice.

The pick: DOLPHINS

Seattle (2-11) at St. Louis (2-11)

When I was in college my buddies and I would sit around our apartment smoking, uh... cigarettes, and ask each other crazy philosophical questions -- sort of like a amateur pyschological experiment. One that stuck with me all these years was this: “If you had to choose one, which would you rather -- having no penis, or looking like Eric Stoltz in "Mask"?"

Ridiculously tough call. No good option there. We debated it for hours. Well, that choice reminds me of this game. I don’t know if the Rams are the no penis and the Seahawks are the kid from ‘Mask’, or vice versa, but it’s the same basic principal -- no good option. Only I’m not going to debate it for an hour.

The pick: SEAHAWKS

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Welcome to ‘After Further Review...’ where we treat any Frank Gore injury like a death in the family, where we believe every time Terrell Owens whines on the sidelines an angel gets its wings, and where we’re ready to bring you the odds, ends, and trends from this weekend's action in the NFL.

After an exciting Sunday, the playoff races have tightened up considerably. Suddenly, it’s that time of year when the picture comes into focus, and when you remember that down the stretch, a team’s most valuable player can sometimes be the NFL’s schedule-maker. With so many teams so close in the standings -- especially at the top of the AFC easy, where three teams are tied for first place -- often the best advantage a team can have is a weak remaining schedule.

If you looked at the Christmas wish lists of any coach in the playoff hunt right now, you’d be sure to find "A home game against the Lions, Bengals or Rams" right near the top. So let’s take a look at the closest races going right now for available playoff spots, and see how the games on their schedule stack up:

AFC EAST

Jets (8-5) -- Buffalo, at Seattle, Miami

Patriots (8-5) -- at Oakland, Arizona, at Buffalo

Dolphins (8-5) -- San Francisco, at Kansas City, at Jets

The Jets appear to have the easiest road, as Buffalo is struggling mightily, and Seattle is just bad. If they can take care of business, they’ll likely control their own destiny at home against Miami in Week 17. Two division wins would give them five, and win them any tie-breaker against either the Pats (1-1 head-to-head record) or Miami (1-0 head-to-head). Miami appears to have the second best chance, but probably needs to beat an improved Niner team and also win in Arrowhead, a tough road venue, in order to control their own destiny against the Jets. Because of the tie-breaker situation, New England must hope to win out and for the Jets to stumble. 

Also, because both Baltimore and Indy are at 9-4 (and with the Colts playing Detroit and Jacksonville the next two weeks), any stumble by these teams could not only cost them the division, but also eliminate them from Wild card contention.

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh (10-3) -- at Baltimore, at Tennessee, Cleveland

Baltimore (9-4) -- Pittsburgh, at Dallas, Jacksonville

Obviously, the game next week goes a long way to determining the winner of the division. The Steelers hold not only a game lead, but also the tie-breaker -- they defeated the Ravens in OT 23-20 in Week 4. If the Steelers win, they would virtually clich the division. If the Ravens win, they would be tied in record, head-to-head, and division record, but the Steelers would still hold the tie-breaker based on a one-game lead in conference record. That means Baltimore would still need Pittsburgh to drop at least one of their remaining games to have a shot at the title. Seeing as one is the Titans, it’s still possible, but the Ravens must win next week.

NFC NORTH

Minneso ta (8-5) -- at Arizona, Atlanta, Giants

Chicago (7-6) -- New Orleans, Green Bay, at Houston

Minnesota has a game lead, but a much tougher schedule -- three teams in the midst of their own playoff hunts. Chicago doesn’t have it easy exactly, but none of the teams they will face are likely playoff entrants. However, Chicago needs to not only gain a game in the standings, but also to have Minnesota lose two conference games to even have a chance at the tie-breaker. Essentially, the Vikings need only to win two of their last three, or have the Bears lose either of their conference games to clicnch the division.

NFC WILD CARD #2

Dallas (8-5) -- Giants, Baltimore, at Philadelphia

Atlanta (8-5) -- Tampa, at Minnesota, St. Louis

Philadelphia (7-6-1) -- Cleveland, at Washington, Dallas

Assuming the loser between Tampa and Carolina takes the #1 Wild Card, there’s only one left for these teams. Dallas holds the tie-breaker over Atlanta based on a 1/2-game lead in conference record, but they also have the toughest schedule left. Atlanta’s isn’t exactly easy, however. Should it come down to the last week with the teams still tied, the Falcons would have the obvious advantage, but until then, it’s two likely playoff opponents for both. Still, the Cowboys have to be kicking themselves for letting their game today slip away from them.

Chicago, New Orleans and Washington are all 7-6 and still in it, but need help from each of the above teams.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T.O. YOU: It was Terrell Owens’ 35th birthday on Sunday -- complaining on the sidelines, scoring a TD, and then more complaining on the sidelines. T.O. complained to coaches when he was shutout in the 1st half, but was much happier after halftime, when he caught three passes for 32 yards and the go-ahead TD to help the Cowboys take a 13-3 4th quarter lead. But after they blew the lead late and lost -- chiefly on two passes which went to Witten, and not him -- he was back to tantrum mode, or as I like to call it, "The Greg Knapp Zone". T.O. may not have gotten what he wanted for his birthday, but seeing him in misery as he walked off the field was definitely what I wanted for his birthday.

DIRRRRTY: The cheap shot of the year occurred in the Lions/Vikings game when Lions OL Gosder Cherilus cut Vikings DE Jared Allen on an ugly-looking play (about 15 seconds in). It’s the football equivalent of kicking a guy in the nuts (although some football players do that, too), but I’m not sure Allen has too much room to criticize. Still, he did charge Cherilus before being held back, and the tensions led to former Lion FB (and former 49er) Moran Norris being ejected for punching Vikings LB Napoleon Harris. Expect some more discussion about this throughout the week.

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In the NFL justice system, there two separate, yet equally important groups -- the players who play in the games, and the NFL league office, which suspends players from playing in the games. These are their stories...

***THUMP, THUMP***

This week, the news in the NFL was all about suspensions, and indictments, and crime scene investigations, and temporary restraining orders. Here are the the guys who currently top Roger "The Hangin' Judge" Goodell’s Most Wanted List:

Plaxico Burress

You probably know all about Burress’s situation by now -- he’s been suspended by the Giants (not the league) for the rest of the season, and most believe he’ll never play another down for the team. If it were up to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, he’d also be sent to a maximum security pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

One interesting tidbit lost amid all the commentator hand-wringing over Burress carrying a loaded gun (”Why in the world would he need a gun at a club?!”), is the fact that just a few days earlier another Giant WR was held up at gunpoint. You’d think that might be part of Burress’s defense argument, no? I mean, I’m not trying to defend him, but I know if my less-rich teammate was held up at gunpoint a few days before I went out to a club, I might feel uneasy without a way to defend myself.

Antonio Pierce

Pierce will reportedly play until his role in the Burress incident is fully known, although that role seems pretty clear already -- he called a team trainer to find out where to take Burress, took the gun from him, and may have taken it home to New Jersey (over the state line -- smart move, Antonio!).

Pierce’s car has been impounded by the cops so they can go all CSI on it -- spraying florescent stuff all over, shining black lights on it, dusting for gun shot residue, etc. The findings will likely determine his fate.

The Williams Brothers

Yes, I know Minnesota's DT's Pat and Kevin Williams aren't brothers, but shouldn’t they be? It would be easier than the way it is now, with seemingly every NFL commentator either calling them “The Willamses” or “The Williams Boys”, or actually calling “The Williams Brothers” and then adding “They’re not really brothers, but you know what I mean” or something like that. 

I mean, I know they don’t actually share the same DNA or anything, but come on: They’re both ~350 pounds, both play DT for the Vikings, both are renowned run-stuffers, both have been suspended at the same time for taking the same banned substance in the same over-the-counter supplement, and both filing jointly for an injunction to keep playing. If you’re going to that similar, you might as be brothers. So, from now on, they are The Williams Bros. Discussion over.

Well, except for the part about them being suspended for the rest of the regular season. And then un-suspended. Will they be re-suspended? I have no idea. And honestly, their status could easily change between the time I write this and gametime Sunday, so I won’t try to figure what will happen. I’ll just say this: The TRO the Williams Bros. have gotten could allow them to play this week, and maybe thereafter, but if over-turned later, it could cost the Vikings their services for postseason games should they get there.

Okay, enough police blotter fodder, let’s get to the games...

Houston Texans (5-7) at Green Bay Packers (5-7)

I’m sure a lot of Packers fans will blame the team’s drop-off this season on the decision to replace Brett Favre with Aaron Rodgers. While there’s really no way to know if Green Bay could’ve performed better with Favre at the helm, and it’s impossible to directly compare them due to their apples-and-oranges situations -- different supporting cast, different environment, different expectations -- the stats simply do not bear that out. Here’s a look at the basics of their respective stat lines:

RODGERS: 63.6%, 7.17 YPA, 20 TD/10 INT, 91.2 RATING

FAVRE: 68.7%, 6.94 YPA, 20 TD/14 INT, 90.4 RATING

Rodgers certainly isn’t perfect, and he has screwed up at a couple of damaging moments (most notably, the 2nd half of the Saints game), but those stats say he’s one of the better young QB’s in the game. If he can manage to stay healthy, he should producing long after Favre has retired (and then come back again, and then re-retired, then come back, and then...)

The pick: PACKERS

Atlanta Falcons (8-4) at New Orleans Saints (6-6)

My love affair with the Falcons continues unabated. Why, just this morning I was writing “JOSH + FALCONS” inside a big heart on the cover of my binder in Social Studies. I’m hoping if I keep cheering for and picking the Falcons, Atlanta will see fit to give me a promise ring and invite me to prom.

The pick: FALCONS

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Welcome to After Further Review..., where we can’t stop laughing when we think about Plaxico Burress, where we still can’t decide if we’re more annoyed or attracted to The "Fills You Up" Girl from the Bud Light commercials, and where we’re ready to bring you the odds, ends, and trends from this weekend's action in the NFL.

But, first things first, let’s get to the news that just can’t wait:

SAFETYWATCH ‘08 UPDATE: Yes, folks, the safety infestation continued to run wild throughout the NFL again this week as yet another safety was recorded -- for the fifth week in a row by my count. The most recent outbreak occured in the Falcons/Chargers game when Phillip Rivers was called for Intentional Grounding in the end zone in the 2nd quarter. Stay tuned -- more updates to follow.

Okay, with that out of the way, now we can go back about our business...

SELF-INFLICTED: I don’t even know what to say about this latest Burress thing. Before this year, he never seemed all that crazy to me -- at least not for a WR. Now, he looks like he’s trying to set a record for crazy. Honestly, I think Burress just realized that all the WR’s who get the biggest publicity are the crazy ones, and wanted to get him some of that.

Seriously, I think sometime this off-season he said to himself: "I just caught the Super Bowl-winning TD, I’m a great receiver, but I just don't get any respect." He got himself a contract extension, but that failed to fill the void that resides in every diva WR. So he got himself suspended -- still nothing. 

Then it hit him: "Steve Smith punched out his teammate, Chad changed his name to Ocho Cinco. T.O. tried to kill himself with pills. I need to step up my game... I’ve got it -- I could shoot myself in the leg! Nobody’s ever done that! Then I’ll be the craziest WR ever!"

Burress was already out with a knee injury, and the injury report reads "P. BURRESS -- OUT (KNEE)", but I wish instead of the body part, they list the injury -- like "ACL TEAR". Because when his knee heals but he still can’t play due to being shot, the listing of "P. BURRESS -- OUT (THIGH)" just doesn’t tell the story like "P. BURRESS -- OUT (GUNSHOT WOUND)" would. 

Then again, that point might be moot. NBC’s Peter King called it the "A 23 million dollar gunshot wound", referring to the non-guaranteed portion of Burress’s contract, and intimating the Giants might drop him as soon as the first chunk of that (for $1 million) is due on December 10th. That decision could be complicated by the fact Burress is reportedly facing gun charges. So it appears we may find out very soon just how much New York is willing to forgive in exchange for Burress's talent.

I think the biggest thing to come out of this whole thing is the realization that the Giants appear to be completely distraction-proof. They are 11-1, have won seven straight -- six against winning teams -- and have proven to be unaffected by injury, suspension, and now gunfire. Honestly, I think the only way to keep this team from winning is to blow up the team bus in the parking lot  before they can get off.

Side note: I loved that NBC sent Tiki Barber on assignment out to Washington to cover the game, just so he could use his status as ex-teammate to get some on-camera quotes about the Burress situation from some Giants players. The highlight was Tiki delivering this breathless update from FedEx Field: "There’s been some reports that Derrick Ward was the third Giant player at scene, but I found out it was actually Ahmad Bradshaw."

Wait, so it wasn’t that one backup RB who was there but didn’t have anything to do with the incident, it was that other backup RB who was there but didn’t have anything to do with the incident? Thank god you were there to clear that up for us, Tiki!

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT: If you missed the Pats/Steelers game this weekend, then you might want to check out this clip showing one of the very hardest hits I’ve ever seen. It may not have been completely ethical, it drew a flag, and will likely get tagged with a fine, but Ryan Clark’s de-cleater on Wes Welker over the middle has to go down as the most violent hit of the year so far. If you listen closely, you can hear Welker's I.Q. dropping as his head whiplashes back against the turf. The NFL: celebrating attempts to maim since 1922.

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Happy Day After Thanksgiving, everybody! Hope that food hangover isn’t too bad. Or the regular hangover. Neither were as bad for me as the atrocious slate of games the NFL provided for us yesterday. And I'm not even going to mention the Jonas brothers. Let's just say, I expect a formal letter of apology from the league office.

But there are a lot of things in the NFL I am thankful for this year, and right at the top of that list is the best highlight show on TV, ‘Inside the NFL'. That's why I want to thank Showtime for saving it from cancellation, giving it a second life, and even managing to improve it.

I don't know how many of you watch, but I've been a loyal viewer of “The show the pros watch” since the early days with Nick Buonoconti and Len Dawson. After 31 years at HBO, it was cancelled early in the year, before being rescued by Showtime. They replaced host Bob Costas with James Brown and analyst Dan Marino with Phil Simms, which has given the show a little more more fun and casual feel. The spirited arguments between Collinsworth and Simms are good TV, but better is watching JB go out of his way to laugh off the tension between them and repeat “These guys really like each other, I swear.”

But the big change has come from Warren Sapp, the breakout TV star of this year’s NFL season. In fact, he might be the breakout star of the season, period, considering he also does pre and post-game work on the NFL Network, and was a hit on ‘Dancing with then Stars’. Or so I heard. I don’t watch the show. Honest. And while I don’t know much about dancing, considering Sapp was up against a chick and a gay guy and finished second, I’d say he did damn well for himself.

When it comes to NFL analysis, he's more than just some fat guy cracking jokes for comic relief. Warren has always been glib, and spent much of his career making surprising and shocking statements. But he’s quickly made a name for himself this year, by using insider knowledge to add substance to those statements. 

First, a few weeks back, Sapp gave the audience a rare look behind the dysfunction of the Al Vader Davis Raiders, telling of times the Emperor of the Dark Side Raider owner meddled in team affairs, including changing game plans just hours before the game. Then, Sapp made things a little more personal, calling out old teammate Keyshawn Johnson as a “bitch”. Everybody tried to play it off the best they could, but it was pretty awkward, and I don't think that clip would've made it on the air last season. Sapp took a moment last week and apologized to Keyshawn, saying his mother told him he had to. 

Last week, he spilled another insider treat -- that Kevin Mawae used to poke him in the eye just to try and get an edge. It’s this kind of inside dirt, along with his humor and insight, that makes watching Sapp fun -- unlike whatever vanilla ex-player spewing the same old cliches ESPN is shoving down our throat this week. 

They’ve also sexed up the show a bit, bringing on infrequent correspondant -- too infrequent if you ask me -- Jenn Brown (pictured at right), who immediately enters the Hottest Female Sportscaster on the Planet conversation (I have her somewhere in between Erin Andrews and Charissa Thompson). Check out her web site, you’ll thank me later.

Who knew the show had to move away from the network which airs 'Cathouse' and 'G-String Divas' before it could get a hot chick on the show?

Okay, enough foreplay, let’s get to the previews... 

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Before we get to this week’s round-up of the odds, ends and trends around NFL in Week 12, we have the update you’ve all been waiting for...

SAFETYWATCH ‘08: Yet another safety this week, as Dallas blocked an Andy Lee punt through the end zone against the Niners. That’s four weeks in a row with a safety. Our long national curiosity continues. 

More updates as the situation progresses. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post:

I’ve got to be honest, I’m feeling pretty good about myself after Week 12. Last week, I wrote about how badly Donovan McNabb looked last week, and rumors he’s be benched for Kevin Kolb, and this weekend it happened. Last week, I predicted the Jets would upset the Titans, and on Sunday they did. I even had another good week with my picks. That's a lot to be thankful for right there. Of course, I did pick the Niners to win, and we all know how that turned out. But things could always be worse -- I could be a Lions fan.

THE LATER IT GETS, THE BETTER YOU LOOK: A few weeks ago, Boston fans were whining (I know, I was shocked too) that their season was over because Tom Brady was out and Matt Cassel sucked. Suddenly, they’re not only talking playoffs, but wondering if they’re not poised to make a run behind one of the hottest QB’s in the league -- some guy named Matt Cassel.

If Cassel was a stock, he’d be going in the opposite direction of all the other stocks -- up. Sunday, Cassel’s numbers reminded one of Brady’s: 30/43, 415 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT. While Randy Moss had a lot to do with those stats, Cassel has always thrown well on the run, is looking better in the pocket, and even hit on some deep passes (two 20+ yard TD), which has been his weakness. It was the second straight tough division game in which he’s thrown for 400+ yards. It’s also he first time any QB has had back-to-back 400 yard games in the NFL since 2000. Sobering reminder: That QB was Billy Volek.

The question of Cassel’s availability this off-season has been raised here. I’ve been taking the position that the dollar figures being thrown around are too high, and the smart move would be to pass, but if Cassel keeps lighting up teams (especially teams which shut him down only a couple of months ago), I may have to reconsider.

To keep Cassel from free agency, New England can always franchise him, but CBS's Charley Casserley reported today that would cost them $14+ million, which they can't afford -- even if Brady’s injury lingers. And they cannot, as some have asserted, tag him with the franchise label just so they can trade him to the highest bidder -- at least, not exactly. According to NBC’s Peter King NFL rules forbid that. But it’s not that you can’t trade a franchise player, it’s that you can’t franchise them with the intent of trading them. Intent is an awfully hard thing to prove, but Bill Belichick doesn’t seem like the type of guy to try to pull a fast one and skirt league rules.

However it breaks down, it appears two things will probably change for Matt Cassel in 2009: He will play for a new team, and his salary will grow exponentially.

MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS: In 2001, the Patriots were a rag-tag squad of scrappy underdogs when they stunned the Rams, a team looking to establish a dynasty, in the Super Bowl. It seemed like a major upset at the time, but history now remembers more as a changing of the guard -- the Patriots taking their right place on the throne as next dominant team.

Seven years later, the Pats were the team looking to further cement its dynasty, and the Giants were the rag-tag squad of scrappers who capped a crazy playoff run by shocking them. But will history remember it that way? Considering how the Giants are playing this season, I’d have to guess the answer is no.

New York looks every bit as dominant now as they did throughout last January -- maybe more so. And just like during their playoff run, they don’t seem to mind losing a key contributor. In the playoffs, rookie TE Kevin Boss stepped in for an injured Jeremy Shockey, and the offense didn’t miss a beat. On Sunday, they were without starting RB Brandon Jacobs (inactive) and WR Plaxico Burress (injured early on), and still put up 37 points on the road against a playoff team. Why? Because they always get understudies to step up. Whether it’s RB’s Derrick Ward and Ahmad Bradshaw, or WR’s Domenik Hixon, Amani Toomer and company, somebody always seems to make the play they need. 

Eli Manning has become a rock they can count on, as has the offensive line, and the pass rush (again, despite the loss of stars -- Strahan and Umenyiora). What’s more, if they are healthy come playoff time, these backups will have the experience and confidence from already playing important minutes. That, and the invaluable experience gained during last year’s run, I believe makes the Giants the odds-on favorite to repeat. 

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In our ongoing quest to bring you the vital (and not-so-vital) knowledge from around the league, this is the first of a weekly series where I'll preview the games of the weekend with some analysis, some observations, and some lame attempts at humor.

But before I get to that, please allow me to jinx myself: Since Week 5, I've been picking all the games each Friday over on my site, and I've recently hit a major hot streak. After three straight 11-3 weeks, I pulled off a 13-2-1 record last week. That's a 46-11-1 run. I like to tell myself it's taken me a half-season to find my groove, and now I know the teams so well I can keep this up, but I know the NFL gods are just getting me fattened up like a Thanksgiving turkey, so they can lay a nice 7-9 week on me.

I'm already off to a good start this week (I picked the Steelers in the Thursday night game -- you'll just have to trust me), so now I'm all set up to fall flat on my face. And you've got a front row seat.

NY Jets (7-3) at Tennessee (10-0)

Everybody knows the Titans win, for the most part, based on their great defense and running game. Here are three little known facts about that:

1) The Jets have more sacks than the Titans. 2) The Jets have allowed less rushing yards than the Titans. 3) The Jets average just seven rushing yards less per game than the Titans.

Interesting, no? In case those numbers failed to sway you, here are three more factors why I think the Jets will take down the Titans this week:

1) The Jets are capable of putting up a lot of points, and taking the Titans out of their game a bit. 2) The Jets will have had 10 days off to prepare for Tennessee. 3) The Titans have been a little shaky in the running game of late. Collins has made up for it so far, but I don’t think he can do that every week. Especially if Kris Jenkins is laying on top of him.

The pick: JETS

Buffalo (5-5) at Kansas City (1-9)

It’s amazing how quickly Trent Edwards’s stock has plummeted of late. Early on, he was getting all kinds of praise from fans and "How the hell did so many teams pass on him?"-type comments from analysts. Now he’s getting booed at home on Monday night while Ron Jaworski tears apart his play on national TV.

This is another reason why sports is so fascinating -- that kind of stuff never happens in real life. Can you imagine the eqivalent to that in real life? It would be like a young guy at work getting all kinds of praise when he gets his first opportunity ("Hey, that Phil is one crackerjack accountant. We put him on the Feldman account, and he really whipped that sucker into shape"), and then a few weeks later, everybody wants the guy demoted or fired ("Can you believe that douchebag Phil is late again today? What an ass he is -- his numbers were all way off last month and when I confronted him about it, he groped me inappropriately").

The pick: BILLS

Philadelphia (5-4-1) at Baltimore (6-4)

Philly fans are lucky their baseball team just won the world series, because they otherwise they might’ve been suicidal over the Eagles embarrassing showing at Cincy last weekend. The Iggles limped away with an ugly 13-13 tie which put a serious dent into their playoff hopes, which were sky high early in the season.

Shockingly, their offense was completely stymied by the lowly Bengals defense (75 minutes, 17 drives, 13 points), and Donovan McNabb’s TD/INT ratio took a major beating (Coming in: 13/5, Sunday: 1/3). There was even talk after the game that Andy Reid could give backup QB Kevin Kolb some playing time down the stretch.

So which is more shocking: a) the Eagles offensive meltdown, b) the Kolb rumor, c) the fact McNabb didn’t know there were ties in the NFL, or d) the fact that McNabb’s ignorance of the tie rule became the story of the week?

I’m going with e) the fact that McNabb wondered if they had ties in the playoffs and Super Bowl. I mean, seriously? You think the Super Bowl could be a tie? Are you insane?

The pick: TIE EAGLES

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Fooch's Note: We get so fixated on the 49ers, it can be easy to forget about the rest of the NFL.  Thanks to Josh from Hollywood for taking us on an amusing trip around the league.

My name is Josh from Hollywood, and I'm a couch potato. Since I spend every Sunday (and some Thursday nights) planted on the sofa watching football, I figured I might as well give you my thoughts from the weekend’s action in the NFL -- whether you wanted them or not. The rest of the site is usually devoted to Niner-centric news, so we thought it might be nice to have a regular post on some of the odds, ends, and trends from in and around the rest of the league. My motto is "1 Man. 2 TV's. 15 games. No pee breaks." (I have a bed pan, and a very understanding wife.)

But seriously, congratulations if you make it all the way to the end of this post. And remember, you may think this is long, but Peter King picks bigger pieces than this out of his poop. Or something.

HUNGRY EYES: I'm really hoping the play of Shaun Hill against the Rams this week is a sign of things to come, because I’ve discovered that knowing your team has no long-term answer at QB is a lot like being a guy who's longtime girlfriend just dumped him -- you feel scared and alone, and you want to fill the void, but quickly realize there aren’t a lot of winners out there (in the dating scene or the QB market).

Sitting on the couch every Sunday scanning the field for potential solutions, I feel like the dude at the bar with the lonely eyes, desperately searching the bar for a friendly face. Only finding good QBs with long-term deals (dating equivalent: hot chicks with serious boyfriends), or bad QBs you wouldn't want leading your team anyway (i.e. fugly girls you wouldn’t introduce to your friends), you soon sink to searching the sidelines for an experienced, affordable backup (cruising for hookers after the bars close).

Trying to talk yourself into Matt Cassel at up to $10 million a year is depressing enough in itself, but it's especially hard on us Niner fans who grew up watching the primes of both Montana and Young. It's like a guy who once dated Giselle Bundchen and Angelina Jolie being relegated to picking up chicks outside the local Pretty & Plump outlet.

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If Lincecum pitches 25 scoreless innings today, his ERA will be a full run below Brandon Webb's. Bochy has a goal! All the Giants will have to do is not score for 25 innings.

As long as Lincecum hasn't given up a run, I'd put his pitch limit at 1,520. He doesn't even ice his arm, so he's good for it.