here are the accomplishments of your lost in spcae manager:

1. as a player, he started out 9th in the batting order.. & NEVER EVER MOVED OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BATTING ORDER IN 13 YEARS!!!
2. he had an unremarkable mediocre lifetime BA of   .264, which says it all.
3. he was an above average fielder, but not what you might compare to OMAR VIZQUEL or half a dozen others who were clearly superior to OZZIE. in fact i do not rate him among the top 5 WHITE SOX  SS of all time, behind APPLING, CARRASQUEL, APARICIO, HANSEN, & KESSINGER.
4. i called him "the  black hole" when he played.. rallies went into the bottom of the order- but they never came out.
5. HE WAS THE ULTIMATE HACK POSTER CHILD- averaging 1W/32AB & .287 OBP.. i find it hilarious that last year he was grieving on JUAN URIBE FOR DOING BASICALLY THE SAME THING HE DID FOR 13 YEARS (whose lifetime averages are 1W/18AB  & .295 OBP).. he was far worse than the player he is criticizing.. & everyone is hollering for URIBE'S head after only his 3rd year here.. OZZIE did the same thing for 4 times as long, yet i did not hear anywhere NEAR the clamor for his head (outside of myself) that i heard for URIBE's..  don't you think that is strange?
6. HE ACHIEVED ONE OF THE MOST  IMPOSSIBLE FEATS IN  THE HISTORY OF MODERN MLB.. GOING 251 (!!!) CONSECUTIVE AB WITHOUT A WALK!!! how can a player go half a season without a walk?!?! that is on the same level as an MLB baseball team NEVER   winning the WORLD SERIES in  100 (o n e   h u n d r e d !!) YEARS ...  IT IS A STATISTICAL ANOMALY WHICH DEFIES ALL LAWS OF AVERAGES!!  virtually impossible to accomplish, yet there it is staring you in the face!!! IT WON'T GO AWAY!!
7. in the 25 years since i first heard him speak on tv after he was traded from the PADRES  to the   WHITE SOX ... HIS ENGLISH HAS NOT IMPROVED ONE OUNCE!!! JUST LIKE HIS LEVEL OF EXCELLENCE ON THE FIELD, HE GOT TO A CERTAIN LEVEL OF MEDIOCRITY & THEN NEVER TRIED TO IMPROVE.. THE SAD ASSUMPTION IS HE NEVER FELT THE NEED TO MAKE THE EFFORT TO IMPROVE.. which  is the most damning accusation you can make of a player.. to say nothing of a manager..

my dearest BRICKHEAD OZZIE:
  in order to be the best manager you have to have an unbiased truthful evaluation of your players.. when you pick your lineup for the day's game, YOU MUST PUT THE PLAYERS ON THE FIELD THAT GIVE YOU THE BEST CHANCE TO WIN THE BALLGAME.. so many times you lose sight of that simple objective.. especially when you exhibit your obvious  prejudice toward BRIAN ANDERSON.. this guy is a much better player than JUNIOR or  DEWAYNE WISE.. why you never used him down the stretch WAS A DISSERVICE TO BOTH THE OTHER PLAYERS ON THE SQUAD AS WELL AS THE FANS.. you did everything the way you wished.. how did that work out?

 ALTHOUGH I CAN SEE IT COMING & PREDICT  THAT YOU WILL DO EVERYTHING IN  YOUR POWER TO GET BRIAN ANDERSON SENT OUT OF TOWN.. LOSE YOUR PREJUDICE & ENCOURAGE KENNY WILLIAMS TO KEEP BRIAN ANDERSON.. THE DOWNSIDE  WILL BE WHEN HE GOES ELSEWHERE & BECOMES THE ROCK-SOLID EVERYDAY PLAYER HE SHOULD BECOME HERE IN CHICAGO.. THEN EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU & ASKING THEMSELVES "HOW COME HE COULDN'T PLAY FOR OZZIE!?!?.. SOMETHING MUST HAVE BEEN GOING ON OVER THERE!!"

  QUIT BEING A WEENIE & PUT YOUR PETTY JEALOUSIES & PREJUDICES ASIDE.. PUT YOUR BEST PLAYERS ON THE FIELD.. THE RAYS WERE BEATABLE.. YOU JUST DIDN'T GIVE  THE TEAM THE BEST CHANCE TO WIN.. I HOLD YOU DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR INJECTING A DEFEATIST ATTITUDE WITH YOUR "EVERYBODY PICK  US FOR 3RD OR 4TH SO I DINK WE DOIN POOTY GOO".. YOU NEVER MENTION THAT  YOU  FAILED TO PICK THE SOX TO WIN.. WHICH WITH A $120M  PAYROLL YOU ARE SUPPPOSED TO EXPECT A CHAMPION.. YOU HAD NO CHAMPIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS OF YOURSELF INSTEAD YOU SET YOUR GOAL & EXPECTATIONS WAY TOO LOW.. AS A RESULT WHEN YOU FELL A LITTLE BIT SHORT, YOU WERE OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS RATHER EASILY.. below is the most important part of this email..   you are shooting a rifle at a standard target. in order to score maximum points, what do you aim at? A: THE CENTER OF THE BULLSEYE.       i NEVER  get that answer.. instead i get "the bullseye." then the hitter asks  "so what's the difference?"...      THE DIFFERENCE ILLUSTRATES A PLAYER'S  IGNORANCE OF THE POWER OF        BEING GOAL SPECIFIC  AT ALL TIMES ON THE FIELD FROM PITCH-TO-PITCH.

 if you aim  for the bullseye, but are off   just a little.. YOU ARE OUT OF THE BULLSEYE!!..  if you aim for the   CENTER of the bullseye & are off just a little bit, YOU ARE STILL IN THE BULLSEYE.. one answer is OK, but NOT GOAL SPECIFIC ENOUGH TO MAXIMIZE   YOUR PERFORMANCE SUCCESS   RATE..  

the sooner you figure that out as a manager (sure as hell never figured it out as a player,, that's why you ended up being the mediocre unremarkable player you were).. the sooner you will maximize your OWN  success rate & be regarded as a top echelon manager.. which we all know you are FAR too stupid to make that happen.. so keep stumbling along like you are.. ignorance is bliss