Brian Skinner has become an unrestricted free agent. Words cannot express my sympathy for the city of Milwaukee. To flirt with the greatness that is witnessing Brian Skinner ball outrageous, only to have this joy torn away... I just can't imagine how painful that must be. Cleveland has no reason to complain, send the Peace Corps to the Cheese State.

That being said, this is a fantastic day to be a Clipper fan. Today, we can imagine something bigger, something blacker, something more dipped in bleach. Yes, my friends, today we can hope for Brian Skinner. Today, the Glass is completely full--of Clorox that is-- and the stars are aligning in our future. The Big Dipper may soon return.

via i.cdn.turner.com

An Ode to Brian Skinner

I see Kim, I see Mardy, I see DeAndre, I see Steve,
But there is someone missing, a true pimp to bereave.
At the end of the bench there is no swagger,
At the end of the bench there is no one rolling the zig-zaggers.
We've traded our souls in the pursuit of a winner,
We've traded our hearts, our dreams, our Brian Skinner.

Oh BSkinnz, what will we do with you gone?
Who will represent with the freshest face lawn?
Who will eat all the haters and devour all the ho's?
Who will teach Blunt Griffin how to box out like a pro?
You were dipped, we were ripped, everything seemed so right,
But all that's changed and I feel we've entered the eternal night.

Oh Brian, your bleached beard should be hung in the rafters,
Your career, a testament to the wits of Clipper drafters.
Every time I use Clorox I will remember your gangster lean,
The way you slayed bitches, the black Steve McQueen.
Now you are free, like a bald, two-tone bearded eagle just unclipped,
And until you eat us all, we will forever stay dipped.

Myself and a couple of friends have been working on our masterpiece. It's not much, but I think it's worth a little bit of your time. Please check it out at http://ChrisKamanSwagger.blogspot.com . I recommend reading the older posts first, I think it is better that way, and I would appreciate your feedback. I hope you enjoy it, and I wish you all the best of luck in escaping the ravenous jaws of Brian Skinner. Also, be warned, it is Rated R.

BlakeSkinnz, or BSkinnz for short. Looking forward to him getting down and dirty tonight. I also believe Blake needs to upgrade his facial hair situation--A little red bush at the bottom of his chin with some highlights would compliment his bicepts nicely and allow him to pay homage to Brian Skinner's insane amount of swagger. Lastly, in order to fill up the 75 word limit that you need to submit a fanpost, I would like to urge those of you who use facebook to take the "Which Los Angeles Clipper are you?" quiz. It is slightly outdated at this point, but probably worthy of your time, particularly if you're reading this right now.

I think it might be time to change the whole "all of the basketball, with none of the brand" tagline. I think we're all pretty separated from the whole Elton saga, and honestly I just prefer not to be reminded of it every time I check clipsnation, which is somewhere between 57 and 300 times daily. I have a couple of ideas for a new tagline...

1) The L.A. Clippers: They might not always be good, but they will always take your chain.

2) The L.A. Clippers: Home of Chris Kaman, the black Jesus Christ.

3) Clipsnation: Where the illegitimate children of Loy Vaught and Eric Piatkowski come to play.

4) Clippers Basketball: Come for the Lottery Picks, Stay for the Hypertension.

5) Clipsnation: Next Year is Always Our Year.

6) What does John Hollinger know about basketball anyways?

7) Clipsnation: Chris Kaman is ambidextrous. AMBIDEXTROUS!

8) Clipsnation: Home of the Eric Gordon Thizzface.

9) The L.A. Clippers: So Many Homies, Just One Basketball.

10) Clipsnation: Brian Skinner will eat all of you haters.

11) The Clippers: Harder than the Wu-Tang Clan.

12) When the Clippers win the Championship, I will be wearing Clippers Championship apparel for the rest of my life.

Thanks for all your fantastic work. They should retire Brian Skinners jersey. They actually should retire Sam Cassell's Jersey. Cherokee Parks.

With the recent acquisition of Mark Madsen, I think Los Angeles residents should be made aware of the new threat to their city's women. The addition of Mark Madsen to Christopher Kaman's entourage both on the basketball court and up in the club literally means the end of non-pregnancy in Los Angeles. Already a notorious playboy, Kaman's game will now be fully augmented by Madsen, and the potency of their swagger will know no bounds. Filled maternity wards, single mother's with multiple jobs, copious amounts of hundred dollar bills in the air of local strip clubs--these are the things that will mark the arrival of Mark Madsen to the Los Angeles Clippers. I just thought you all should know...

Also, if you have not done so already, go on youtube and type in "Kaman fireworks".

I went to the ZBo autograph signing / promotional thing yesterday in Baldwin Hills. Only about 20 people showed up, there was no line, and we got to interract with ZBo a little bit. I came away realizing that ZBo is not at all a bad guy. He makes some bad decisions (drinking and driving, smoking weed and getting caught), but I really believe he is a sweetheart. He greeted everybody with a smile, was more than willing to take pictures, and showed a lot of class by not taking offense to one particular guy who came up to him yelling "Yo ZBo, what's up with that DUI?!" while Zach was posing for a picture with a family. He shrugged and showed he was embarassed, but still gave the guy a handshake even after that guy showed no regard for ZBo's feeling. He doesn't play the best defense, but he is a beast on offense, and I can tell you all with certainty that if you ever get a chance to meet ZBo you will come away as a fan of his. I can't speak for the rest of the guys, I've never met them, but ZBo is not an a-hole, he just makes some bad decisions and is still worth rooting for. I just thought I'd tell you all that.

Eric Gordon on the other hand is really unfriendly, but he is actually the only bright spot as far as basketball goes so we don't care.