Now, I'm not sure if I'm breaking plagiarism laws here, but I gave it a go. Also...I am NOT a rapper or an amazing lyricist by any means, but it was kinda fun to come up with randomness to describe Bryz (when he's on...) it is based on Fergilicious and if you can get it to fit to the tune, then great. I did cut out two stupidly repeated verses because I got bored.

Bryzilicious --- From Fergie’s Fergilicious

Listen up y’all, ‘cause this is it

The goalie in the net is oh so vicious

Bryzilicious definition goalie for the Yotes

They want to get it past him, but they find he’s in the zone

You can try to get it by him

 But you’ll find it in his glove

Covered up or kicked out, no goal for you

Bryzilicious (oh he’s vicious)

He ain’t no drama king

Less you get it in his net

But that ain’t gonna happen.

He stares you down (outta the crease)

Eyes on the puck

They’ll be linin’ up their shot just to see it blocked

So vicious (eyes on the puck)

So vicious (blockin’ that shot)

So vicious (you betta step back)

He’s Bryzilicious (a-a-a-ama-zing goalie)

Bryzilicious def-

Bryzilicious def-

Bryzilicious def-

Bryzilicious definition goalie for the Yotes

They claimed him off from waivers

From the pond in Anaheim

He’s the Bry to the z, gala to the ov

And ain’t no other goalie stops the puck like him

He’s Briyzilicious (so vicious)

His goal tending is vicious

He’ll be keeping to the posts with eyes on the puck

He will not duck (ooh)

Or jump out of the way

He’ll be linin’ up the shots just to make that save

So vicious (eyes on the puck)

So vicious (blockin’ that shot)

So vicious (you betta step back)

He’s Bryzilicious (a-a-a-ama-zing goalie)

Do ya, do ya, do ya,

Really want to score?

Boy betta realize

That ain’t gonne happen

He’ll shut you down, down

Betta go back home

Practice a lil more

Too bad, no score

Vi to the cious Bryz you know you’re vicious, vicious

Byr to the z to the l, i, c, i, o, u, s stop it Bryzee

Anytime he turns around they’re gathered on his crease looking for a shot, to get it past his stick

Take a look from where he stands they ain’t gettin’ round

That puck ain’t goin’ nowhere except as rebound

All we’re sayin’ is don’t put him down

Bryz’s got the eye and they say…

He’s Briyzilicious (so vicious)

His goal tending is vicious

He’ll be keeping to the posts with eyes on the puck

He will not duck (ooh)

Or jump out of the way

He’ll be linin’ up the shots just to make that save

V to the i to the c, i, to the o, u, s

V to the i to the c, i, to the o, u, s

Byr to the z to the l, i, c, i, o, u, s

Byr to the z to the l, i, c, i, o, u, s

V to the i to the c, i, to the o, u, s

V to the i to the c, i, to the o, u, s

Byr to the z to the l, i, c, i, o, u, s

Byr to the z to the, to the, to the, to the, to the…

I have been warning and threatening to write an article about this and I have finally been sufficiently motivated.

I am a true Aries. Fiery tempered and, more often than not, get into tight situations because I shoot my mouth off. I have not had many jobs but they have all been customer service related. The first working at a BBQ joint which taught me to keep my mouth shut since I think I was fired because of it...technically they didn't fire me, they just took me off the schedule. Anyway, I digress.

As an educator I have to watch what I say because a massive slip of the tongue could get me into some serious hot water. A position I do not want to be in. Because of this I have developed some creative gibberish to express my extreme frustration and irritation in the classroom. Sometimes those angelic cherubs aren't so angelic. They often show this with their acute diarrhea of the mouth and inability to know when to keep silent. Slience can be golden, but in my world it's silver. When I have a student who has this problem they get duct tape. Not actual duct tape, though I would love to and often threaten to tape their dirty little mouths shut with it. Once they have passed the point of no return they have to pretend that their mouth has been duct taped shut and are not allowed to speak until I tell them to. It can be a very effective tool.

I also teach me students about the 10 second filter. This is very similar to counting to 10 before losing your temper. If you've ever watched an old Donald Duck cartoon then you have a good idea about what I am talking about. Basically the 10 second filter means that you think about what you are going to say and how it is going to affect those around you, and yourself, before you say it. It can save a lot of embarrassment and anger on all sides.

So to our little enforcer who likes to mix it up and shoot his mouth off here are some tips to get you back in Gretzky's good graces and out on the ice where you need to be:

1. You are not a captain or an alternate. It is not your job to argue penalties.

2. Think before you speak. Engage that gray matter between your ears, you know that thing your helmet is protecting.

3. Walk the Line. Ribbing and taunting are good but know where the line is and don't cross it.

4. When in doubt bite your tongue and keep your mouth shut. Don't get stupid penalties for telling a ref to "F" off.   

5. Gretzky is older and wiser than you. Talk to him like you would your mother. You wouldn't tell her to "F" off would you??

6. Good behavior equals more time on the ice. Play your game, but keep it in check.