SBNation.com User Blog: LaFreakish

The Gnomeological Team Building Methodology

LaFreakish — Thu, 16 May 2013 13:40:02 -0000

We want underpants today, all day
Search for underpants, today
We won't stop until we have underpants
Yum yum yummy yum yay

Time to go to work, work all day
Search for underpants today
We won't stop until we have underpants
Yum yum yummy yum yay

We want underpants today, all day
Search for underpants, today
We won't stop until we have underpants
Yum yum yummy yum yay

Time to go to work, work all day
Search for underpants today
We won't stop until we have underpants
Yum yum yummy yum yay

Ever since Brandon Roy went down, many people have attempted to explain all of the reasons why the Blazers will not and cannot compete without a star who is better than LaMarcus Aldridge. The logical conclusion of all of these lines of thinking is usually that the Blazers should trade Aldridge for the most young, unproven assets that they can acquire. More recently, many of these same folks have raised questions about whether or not Lillard can be the #1 option, transcendental SuperDuperStar that the Blazers need; typically, the center of gravity about which these questions rotate is a fear that Lillard will not progress, being an old rookie, and will end up being a tall Damon Stoudemire or a less efficient Chauncey Billups without the defensive abilities. Lillard by himself, or with support from the likes of Nicolas Batum and Aldridge, will not win us a title; ergo, the Blazers should try to tank in 2013-14 in the hopes of winning the lottery and drafting Andrew Wiggins so that Lillard can be relegated to his appropriate status as a complimentary, less-than-Super Star.

In order for these practical recommendations to be appropriate, the concerns which they are intended to address must also be valid. And in order for these concerns to be valid, then the principle, the philosphy, if you will, of team building that motivates and informs these concerns must also be valid. That basic philosophy essentially boils down to one central premise from which most team-building recommendations flow: namely, teams that are able to "compete" in the NBA, by any meaningful definition of the word "compete," must be "built" around one or more transcendental players.

The alternative to this basic methodology of team building is a model which has been most prominently advocated in BlazerNation by General Manager Neil Olshey and SuperBlogger David Deckard. This model instead views the team's prospects for success as an aggegated accretion of what I call "talent-assets," which I don't actually have a definition for because I didn't really think very hard about this post. As a team building philosophy,this model is defined by what is known as "asset-acquisition," a complicated process based on the theories of chaos and complexity in the physical and organizational sciences, wherein a series of roster actions act, react, and interact in a series of chain-reactions and feedback loops such that the end state of the team represents a state of greater talent-asset value than the original state had; this process is referred to by the technical term "rosterbation."

Former Blazer's Edge commenter Hail Oden! encapsulated this model in a comment signature ("sig") that presented a business model first identified by a group of business experts and entrpreneurs known as the "the Underpants Gnomes," and implied that the model could be applied to team building somehow. Hopefully, I will be able to add an appendix to this post that includes a graphical representation of the Gnomes' original model as soon as Vox Media is done breaking the internet.

This post explains and builds upon Hail Oden! and the Gnomes' work in Gnomeological asset acquisition by explaining the causal connections and applications of the Gnomes' tripartite model as it applies to rosterbation in a real-world, basketball team management setting. This proposed theory is presented along with the original Gnomeological model as follows:

Phase 1: Collect underpants. Basketball players are "talent-assets" which form the basketball analog to underpants as business assets. The key here is to just acquire them. It does not matter if they are Hane's briefs (better known as "tighty-whiteys") or fancy Ralph Lauren boxer shorts, nor does it matter whether the underpants are too big or too small, or if one already has several underpants that are quite similar. Fit, redundancy, and marginal utility are less important than the net value of the total underpants collection. Similarly, the choice to acquire a talent-asset should not be determined by fit or redundancy, but by whether the net value of the aggregated accretion of talent-value is increased.

Phase 2: ??? The question marks are an indicator of uncertainty. It is best to view this stage of team-building in light of the insights of chaos theory. The value of one's underpants collection moves from an original state to an end state through a process that is perfectly deterministic due to the effects of the complicated process of stealing underpants; however, due to the unknowability of all of the various possible outcomes of underpants theft, the end state is also perfectly unpredictable. Likewise, the process of rosterbation is so complex that it is determined by "inputs" which I will not take the time to identify because I'm getting tired of writing, but completely unpredictable due to the grande (yes, I put the "e" there on purpose) number of inputs. The abilities to adapt to various outcomes and to influence as many inputs as possible are therefore absolutely key.

Phase 3: Profit! If one has managed to respond to all of the various inputs appropriately and maximize the positive delta in talent-asset value (that is, the net increase in roster talent), one will find greater success than one would have found otherwise, and maximized one's chances of winning a title.

Poll

What are your thoughts on the Gnomeological Methodology?

JD 1/1/13

LaFreakish — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 19:36:25 -0000

LaFreaky has briefly returned to the JD, friends.

I know there is currently a JD with under 1000 comments (the unspoken threshold at which junk becomes stale), but why wait for a new one? After all, it is nearly New Year's Eve, and Lord knows we'll all be too inebriated or hung over to make a new one when we are riding the wake of 2012. Ergo, now is the time to post a New Year's JD.

LaFreaky has briefly returned to the JD, friends.

Poll

What's the question?

I got a better gift for Christmas than you

4 votes

Mortimer has a stinky stocking

7 votes

I wish I got a better poll for Christmas

18 votes

29 votes | Poll has closed

Thorpe: Lillard #2 In Rookie Rankings

LaFreakish — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:32:31 -0000

Thorpe: Lillard #2 In Rookie Rankings

LaJunkish 9/whatever today is/2012

LaFreakish — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 22:54:55 -0000

Hallooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! What's going on here? I start grad school, take a little hiatus, and this place falls a part. No junk drawer, the site forgot how to organize posts chronologically or by popularity, we get a new logo, Sheed unretires, and there's still no edit button for comments!

Anyway, I thought I'd share some musings on life before I disappear for another six weeks.

1) In order to get a high-level security clearance, some agencies will investigate/inquire about your "sexual behaviors," which means no more watching movies with Mortimer D-":

2) They also ask about your illegal download habits, so don't borrow hoodie's hard drive. Ever.

3) Grad school is like, seriously, what the heck, man.

4) Despite the fact that its best blog just went kaput, Portland is still the greatest city on Earth, ever.

Anyway, miss you fools. Peace out!

LaFreakalicious

Junkaholism 7-19

LaFreakish — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 01:24:32 -0000

So here's what I've been listening to lately (lately being this evening)

The Raconteurs - Salute Your Solution (via warnerbrosrecords)

The Black Keys - Gold On The Ceiling [Official Video] (via theblackkeys)

I think these guys would remind me of the 70's, had I been alive during the 70's. They're like a white trash, American Wolfmother. 'Tis pretty sweet. They're really new, but I think they have potential. I think you can find the rest of their songs on their website: http://ilovemonstertruck.com/wordpress/

Monster Truck - For The Sun (via steinberg321)

So here's what I've been listening to lately (lately being this evening)

The Raconteurs - Salute Your Solution (via warnerbrosrecords)

The Black Keys - Gold On The Ceiling [Official Video] (via theblackkeys)

Monster Truck - For The Sun (via steinberg321)

So I'm almost all registered for my grad school classes. Woo hoo! Gon' git me som edjimicashun!! That's pretty exciting, I guess. Oh look! I'm well over 75 words and didn't even realize it. I'll shut up now.

Iannazzone: Knicks to Remove Interim Tag From Woodson's Title

LaFreakish — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:15:21 -0000

Iannazzone: Knicks to Remove Interim Tag From Woodson's Title

Basically, this means that Mike Woodson will not be a candidate for the Blazer's open head coach position, and (more importantly) Portland and other markets looking for a new head coach (Orlando and Charlotte, as of right now) will not have competition from the bright lights of New York.

UPDATED 4/10: The Blazer's Edge 2012 Big Draft Board

LaFreakish — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 03:44:10 -0000

Update 4/10: With 43% of 230 votes, Thomas Robinson has secured his place in the Blazer's Edge Big Board. The current Big Board is:

Anthony Davis
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
Thomas Robinson

tl;dr version of the below post (for newcomers): We're putting together a Big Board from a BEdge perspective. Vote for who you think is the best player for the Blazers, NOT the most likely or good/realistic option and NOT where you think they'll actually go in the draft.

To keep the post manageable, I'm removing the info on MKG and T-Rob. Info in the new prospects in the poll below:

Damian Lillard, PG, junior out of Weber State, 6'2" 185 lbs

Quick Stats

34.5 mins per game, 27.7 points, 64 TS%, 40.9 3P%, 88.7 FT%, 9.1 FTA, 5.7 rebounds (0.6 Off, 5.1 Def), 4.5 assists (27.1 AST%), 1.7 steals, 2.6 turnovers (10.7 TO%), 2.2 personal fouls, 33.8 PER

DX profile

Sports-Reference page

Damian Lillard-Passing (via swishscout)

Kendall Marshall, PG, sophomore out of University of Kentucky, 6'4" 197 lbs

Quick Stats

33.0 mins per game, 9.0 points, 56 TS%, 2.9 rebounds (0.2 Off, 2.7 Def), 10.7 assists, 1.3 steals, 3.1 turnovers, 1.7 personal fouls, 17.1 PER, 11.00 pure passer rating

Kendall Marshall Highlights - NBA Draft Insider (via nbadraftinsider)

DX profile

Sports-Reference Page

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update 4/9: After (nearly) 24 hrs of voting with well over 300 votes cast, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist has emerged as the top choice for the #2 spot in the Blazer’s Edge Big Board with a 36% plurality of the vote. Andre Drummond and Thomas Robinson both hovered around a quarter of the vote for a majority of the voting period, and enter in as the favorites for the #3 spot on the Big Board. Can Brad Beal or one of the new entrants break in?

As promised, I’m expanding the poll by adding two new prospects to replace Kidd-Gilchrist in the poll. Read all about ‘em below:

Jared Sullinger, PF/C, sophomore out of Ohio State University, 6’10" and 281 lbs with a 7’1" wingspan

via a.espncdn.com

Quick Stats

30.1 mins per game, 23.1 points, 60 TS%, 12 rebounds (4 Off, 8 Def), 1.6 assists, 1.5 steals, 1.3 blocks, 2.5 turnovers, 3.9 personal fouls, 30.8 PER, 87.7 career defensive rating (#1 in the Big Ten since 1998-99)

DraftExpress http://www.draftexpress.com/profile/Jared-Sullinger-5029/playerblog/

Sports-Reference http://www.sports-reference.com/cbb/players/jared-sullinger-1.html

Jared Sullinger-Athleticism (via swishscout)

Harrison Barnes, SG/SF, sophomore out of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, 6’9" and 223 lbs with a 6’11" wingspan

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

29.2 mins per game, 21.2 points, 53 TS%, 6.5 rebounds (2.4 Off, 4.1 Def), 1.4 assists, 1.3 steals, 2.4 turnovers, 2.2 personal fouls, 21 PER, points per possession on: catch-and-shoot/no dribbles: 1.39 PPP, 1 dribble: 0.86 PPP, 2+ dribbles: 0.64 PPP

DraftExpress http://www.draftexpress.com/profile/Harrison-Barnes-5705/playerblog/

Sports-Reference http://www.sports-reference.com/cbb/players/harrison-barnes-1.html

Harrison Barnes - NBA Draft Insider (via nbadraftinsider)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright folks, it is time. Welcome to the semi-official (i.e. completely unofficial) Blazersedge Big Board 2012 NBA Draft.

In the past couple of years, BEdgers have formed consensuses around whom the Blazers should take at a particular spot. While our consensuses have rarely been reflected in management's decisions, most of the players we’ve liked a lot have turned into really good players. However, due to the depth in the 2012 draft, and the fact that the Blazer will potentially have two picks, draft analysis for the Blazers is a little more complicated than simply answering the question, "Whom should the Blazers take with the nth pick." Thus, the idea behind the big board is not to mock the 2012 draft, nor to determine whom the Blazers will take with their picks. Rather, the goal of this is to develop essentially a fanbase consensus of appropriate rankings for the 2012 draft class. In accomplishing this, we’ll hopefully get a good feel for which players in this years’ draft class will make the best pros, and give us a sort of guide to pin our hopes on come draft day.

My plan is this: each day, I will make a post which polls BEdge readers on whom they would they would place in a given ranking position. So, for instance, today is Day 1; assuming Anthony Davis occupies the top spot in any and every big board, we’ll be polling for the #2 spot. Whoever wins today’s poll will be ranked #2, and will be replaced in tomorrow’s poll for the #3 spot by a new draft prospect. Simple enough, right? My goal is to make it to at least the 15th spot. Should participation/interest seem higher than I presently expect, I will keep going through the first and second rounds. If participation is low, I will most likely abandon the endeavor.

In the comments section, I encourage you to hash out your personal assessments of individual players, and try to convince others that your pet prospect is better than any other unranked prospect. While you may use any criteria you like to determine your poll selection, I would discourage unnecessary discussion of overall draft strategy, trading picks, who is likely to be available to the Blazers, whom the Blazers are likely to select, etc. The big board, at heart, is just a ranking, and I hope that the discussion will reflect that.

Update 4/10: With 43% of 230 votes, Thomas Robinson has secured his place in the Blazer's Edge Big Board. The current Big Board is:

Anthony Davis
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
Thomas Robinson

To keep the post manageable, I'm removing the info on MKG and T-Rob. Info in the new prospects in the poll below:

Damian Lillard, PG, junior out of Weber State, 6'2" 185 lbs

Quick Stats

34.5 mins per game, 27.7 points, 64 TS%, 40.9 3P%, 88.7 FT%, 9.1 FTA, 5.7 rebounds (0.6 Off, 5.1 Def), 4.5 assists (27.1 AST%), 1.7 steals, 2.6 turnovers (10.7 TO%), 2.2 personal fouls, 33.8 PER

DX profile

Sports-Reference page

Damian Lillard-Passing (via swishscout)

Kendall Marshall, PG, sophomore out of University of Kentucky, 6'4" 197 lbs

Quick Stats

33.0 mins per game, 9.0 points, 56 TS%, 2.9 rebounds (0.2 Off, 2.7 Def), 10.7 assists, 1.3 steals, 3.1 turnovers, 1.7 personal fouls, 17.1 PER, 11.00 pure passer rating

Kendall Marshall Highlights - NBA Draft Insider (via nbadraftinsider)

DX profile

Sports-Reference Page

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As promised, I’m expanding the poll by adding two new prospects to replace Kidd-Gilchrist in the poll. Read all about ‘em below:

Jared Sullinger, PF/C, sophomore out of Ohio State University, 6’10" and 281 lbs with a 7’1" wingspan

via a.espncdn.com

Quick Stats

DraftExpress http://www.draftexpress.com/profile/Jared-Sullinger-5029/playerblog/

Sports-Reference http://www.sports-reference.com/cbb/players/jared-sullinger-1.html

Jared Sullinger-Athleticism (via swishscout)

Harrison Barnes, SG/SF, sophomore out of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, 6’9" and 223 lbs with a 6’11" wingspan

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

DraftExpress http://www.draftexpress.com/profile/Harrison-Barnes-5705/playerblog/

Sports-Reference http://www.sports-reference.com/cbb/players/harrison-barnes-1.html

Harrison Barnes - NBA Draft Insider (via nbadraftinsider)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright folks, it is time. Welcome to the semi-official (i.e. completely unofficial) Blazersedge Big Board 2012 NBA Draft.

Now, onto the players in today’s poll. I’m including only the top 4 players (after Davis) from DraftExpress’ 2012 Mock Draft, plus an "other" option. I think it’s pretty much a two way race, but extra options can’t hurt. In the future, I’ll make the poll much deeper, but let me know in the comments if you’d like me to add any players to any day's poll. I’m borrowing their heights and weights directly from their DX profiles, so I take no responsibility for their accuracy. If you’ve got better/more recent sources or information for any player’s dimensions, please let us know in the comments. The Quick Stats I’ve provided are per 40 minute/pace adjusted and are intended to highlight the usual stats of interest (points, rebounds, assists, TO’s, etc), PER, and any advanced stats that reflect a particular strength (e.g. MKG’s high free throw attempts per possession and transition percentage) or weakness (e.g. Andre Drummond’s low FT%).

Andre Drummond, C, 18 year old freshman out of the University of Connecticut, 6’10" and 251 lbs

via brandononsports.files.wordpress.com

Quick Stats

28.4 mins per game, 14.3 points, 53.8 FG%, 10.8 rebounds (4.7 Off, 5.9 Def), 1.2 steals, 3.8 blocks, 2.2 turnovers, 3.2 personal fouls, 21.8 PER, 29.5 FT%

DraftExpress profile

Sports-Reference stats

Andre Drummond Highlight Mix (via swishscout)

Bradley Beal, SG, 18 year old freshman out of the University of Florida, 6’4" and 201 lbs with a 6'7" wingspan

via www.palmbeachpost.com

Quick Stats

34.2 mins per game, 17.4 points, 58 TS%, 7.9 rebounds (1.6 Off, 6.3 Def), 2.6 assists, 1.6 steals, 1.0 blocks, 2.5 turnovers, 2.4 personal fouls, 22.0 PER, shot 47.7 3 pt% on 8.1 Att per game in FIBA U17 tournament as Team USA’s leading scorer

Draft Express profile

Sports-Reference stats

Bradley Beal Highlight Mix (via swishscout)

Draft resources:

DraftExpress (the end-all draft database)

NBADraftInsider YouTube channel (scouting video of a few prospects)

SwishScout YouTube channel (scouting videos and mix-tapes of many prospects)

Sports-Reference (just the stats, ma'am)

Poll

Who is the #4 player on the Blazer's Edge Big Board?

Andre Drummond

86 votes

Bradley Beal

57 votes

Jared Sullinger

16 votes

Harrison Barnes

9 votes

Damian Lillard

4 votes

Kendall Marshall

8 votes

Other

2 votes

182 votes | Poll has closed

BBQ JD 3/25/12

LaFreakish — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:19:47 -0000

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on anything I am about to say.

According to New York Times best-selling author Matt Ridley's book, The Rational Optimist, some anthropologists believe that the invention of cooked food (in particular meat) helped early homo sapiens make the evolutionary leap from omnivorous ape into a social, cultural, economic, and intellectual animal that is modern man.

The "invention" of fire, firstly, made it possible for the primates that could control it to leave the safety of the forest canopy and live on the ground. In short order, the use of fire lead to our ancestral critters roasting their fellow primates. This is a bigger deal than one might immediately expect. Chemical processes that occur in the meat during cooking make proteins more digestible, thus enabling early members of the homo genus to develop smaller digestive systems than their tree-dwelling cousins while spending less time chewing. Wild chimpanzees spend six hours or more per day simply masticating their food, and even longer lounging about while their largely vegetative fare is processed in the GI tract.

Obviously, the ancestors of homo sapiens discovered a way to cut down on the time needed to extract nutrition and calories from food. Moreover, the development of cooking lead to genes that promote larger brains and smaller intestines being favored, thus giving humans both the spare time and the mental capacities to invent things like stone tools, cave paintings, and supercomputers.

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on anything I am about to say.

So, with apologies to our vegetarian and vegan friends, I take all of that to mean that barbecue is reason the human race is the way it is today. And with spring/summer weather right around the corner (as soon as it stops snowing in Portland, right?) that seems like all the more reason to talk about grilling meat!

My personal favorite place for information on fire-cooked meat is amazingribs.com. Even though the site is dedicated to ribs, they have great instructions, ideas, and recipes for literally everything barbecue related. If you've never learned how to grill a great steak, check out that section. Seriously. You'll thank me.

via theweekendgrillers.com

Poll

How do you cook your meat?

Propane

49 votes

Smoker

10 votes

Charcoal

45 votes

Wood fire (not kidding)

8 votes

I don't eat meat

10 votes

122 votes | Poll has closed