[Phone Rings in Bismark, North Dakota]

Kirk Lacob: "Who dis?"

Joe Lacob: "Hi, son."

Kirk: "Gawd, Dad...what do you want?"

Joe: "Oh, sorry. Did I bother you? I can call back."

Kirk: "Yes. But, don't call me back. Just make it snappy. I'm playing NBA2K12 right now, trying to figure out how to convince the Heat to give us Lebron James. They keep declining my Biedrins + filler package."

Joe: "Well, I called to tell you that we just paid that cheerleader off who you 'invited to your party' that one time....wink wink."

Kirk: "Oh, thank God that's over. Let's make sure we replace her with someone who's not such a an uppity, feminist, 'see you next Tuesday', alright? Get someone who knows what the eff I mean when I invite them to a "pants party". Someone cuter too."

Joe: "You got it, Kirky Boy."

Kirk: "Daaaaaaad, don't call me that!! You know I hate it when you call me that!"

Joe: "I'm sorry, Kirk."

Kirk: "I told you it's K-Trill, dad! How am I supposed to get respect from NBA players with a name like Kirk? None of the black guys even look at me. K-Trill has street cred."

Joe: "Ok, K-Trill. You got it."

Kirk: "That's better. So, does this mean I can come back from this friggin' NBA Siberia up here in North Dakota, or what?"

Joe: "You know it, K-Trill! And, guess what! I've got a congratulatory gift for you after putting this sexual harrassment suit behind us."

Kirk: "You bought me Jeremy Tyler's Ferrari out of impound, didn't you!!!"

Joe: "No, son. Even better. I'm making you Assistant GM!"

Kirk: "Whoaaaaah. That's tits!"

Joe: "Well, with your wealth of basketball and management knowledge, one whole season of D League management, the College Degree I bought you, and the 24 years of wisdom you've accumulated while being my son, I think you've certainly earned it. I couldn't think of anyone more qualified for this than you."

Kirk: "Damn right, Dad. That Dakota Wizards team would have taken the championship too if Bob Myers hadn't needed Mikki Moore out there in the Bay. We were one Mikki Moore away from the Tin Jockstrap or whatever the stupid trophy is in that retarded league. I'm just glad that's all behind me now, thank God."

Joe: "And it was beneath you in the first place, K-Trill. We just needed you to lay low while we figured out that cheerleader's price. But now you can come back. We've got your office all ready and everything. And, guess who's going to be your secretary?"

Kirk: "Ummm....Jerry West?"

Joe: "No, unfortunately. I tried, but he was a little more expensive than I expected. He was kinda mad, too. But, I gave him a little cash to not mention it again, and he said it's still cool if I tell my golf buddies that we're besties and stuff."

Kirk: "Ummm....ok. Hrmm....I hope it's someone hot.... Umm.... Vanessa Bryant??"

Joe: "No, she's actually worth more than we are now, believe it or not."

Kirk: "Eva Longoria?"

Joe: "No, silly.......it's Larry Riley! I've already set up a cot for him in the far corner of your office. He has his shoe shine box and everything."

Kirk: "Oh god, dad, not the old guy! He's got a weird accent and always looks at me funny and winks when he says 'dickens'. I don't want him! I want Eva!!"

Joe: "Ok, well, I'll work on that, son. In the meantime, you can have Larry."

Kirk: "Geez. Ok. Just temporarily. But wait...who's going to be your human foot stool if he's my secretary?"

Joe: "Bob Myers, of course."

Kirk: "Ohhh, right. Alright, just make sure Larry knows he's not allowed to make eye contact with me."

Joe: "He already knows that."

Kirk: "Ok, this all sounds good, I guess. But, when do I get to become the actual GM?"

Joe: "Well, Kir--"

Kirk: "K-TRILL!!!"

Joe: "Well, K-Trill, that's going to be a while."

Kirk: "WHAT!? DAAAAAAAAD!!"

Joe: "Sorry, son. I'm going to have to be firm about this. Being an NBA GM is a big responsibility."

Kirk: "So how long?"

Joe: "One year."

Kirk: "BUT DAAA--"

Joe: "NO, son. No arguments. One whole year. But, then it'll just be you and me: a tour-de-force of combined basketball genius of the likes which the world has never known. Together, with our army of basketball peons that we command like pawns to do our bidding, we will build a world class team of David Lees that will take the NBA -- neigh -- THE WORLD by storm. How many championships, son?"

Kirk: "Not one..........not two.....not three, or FOUR or FIVE......or SIX.....or SEVEN....or....oh...Dad, gotta run...J-Ridah's on the other line. We're heading out to the clubs tonight so that I can show him how Bismark do. See you in San Francisco. That's right. I said San Francisco. Thanks for the new job and sh!t. Late."

Curry + Biedrins for DJ Augustin + Diaw + BJ Mullens + 2012 1st Rd Pick (won't work in the trade machine just yet because Mullens can't be traded for a few more weeks).

Curry is the one player that has the ability to put NBA basketball on the map for Charlotte. He's also a hometown boy AND he's shown tremendous interest in playing there. Charlotte should be willing to "move mountains" to nab Curry -- it's a franchise-changing move for them. I honestly think we could also get another future pick out of them for this deal.

While getting rid of Curry doesn't seem ideal at face value, this move actually would be a huge win overall: it nets us a decent PG (Augustin) who won't command a huge contract this offseason when his contract expires, an expiring contract for Biedrins (Diaw), a young, cheap Center to replace Biedrins "void" (Mullens), and surefire top 5 draft pick this year. It will also definitely make sure we suck enough to keep our pick as well. We'll be in full rebuilding mode.

From there, we let Monta run the team (into the ground). Play him 40 minutes a night, get his numbers up, and move him in the offseason for the pieces we aren't able to grab in the draft or Free Agency (with our newly found extra $13M or so to spend). Perhaps this is when we can pull off the Monta for Noah trade with Chicago.

The time to trade Curry is now while he's healthy and before we win our way out of keeping our 1st round pick. I think we can all finally agree (even J-RIDAH is finally capitulating) that this team isn't going anywhere as constructed, so now is the time to deconstruct it. This moves helps us do that, and fast.

Quick recap:

Curry for: the ability to dump Biedrins contract, get ~$13M in expirings, get a cheap young Center, and get TWO top 7 draft picks in the 2012 draft.....

Would you do it?

Salacious title, I know.  I realize this is going to bring a lot of heat.  And, of course I mean "cut" as in "waived", not "shanked in the shower."

First and foremost, I want to say that this is my opinion, and purely conjecture.  I have no inside info, nor have sources close to the team mentioned anything of the sort, but I believe Jeremy Lin isn't long for the Warriors.  Whether that means he's going to be waived, or just demoted to the D-League, I have a hunch it's going to happen sooner than later.

This is more than gut feeling, however.  Allow me to explain my position before immediately flaming me, ye Lin apostle.

Today the Warriors announced their "Special Events Calendar".  Many of you probably received the email from Warriors GTOe-mail.  Notice that the first event of the year is Asian Heritage Night, prominently featuring the visage of Jeremy Lin.  Now, every year the Warriors have an Asian Heritage Night, but never have they had it so soon in the season (by my recollection only), nor have they ever had a player to specifically honor with the event.  This year's event is capped off with an "Exclusive Post-Game Q&A with Jeremy Lin!"

https://www.gs-warriors.com/forms/secure/fct_1011_asian.html

Sounds good, right?  Not for Lin, I'm afraid.  Having this event so early in the year sounds like they already have plans for his not-so-distant future following the event.  The team either realizes now that they're going to have to cut his non-guaranteed contract, or send him to the D-League, and SOON so they can get an actual serviceable backup PG (our greatest single need at the moment) while some are still available.  But, before doing that, they've got to sell as many jerseys as possible and cash in on their media darling first, right?  Yep.  And, do it quickly. They have a business to run, after all.  Chew 'em up and spit 'em out.

Perhaps I'm being pessimistic, and the opposite is true: they're so high on Jeremy Lin's ability that they need to hit the ground running for his Rookie of the Year campaign!  That just seems doubtful with how little playing time he's gotten in the first two pre-season games.

Personally, I hope I'm wrong.  I'm really rooting for the kid.  His story is a great one so far.  But, honestly, from the start, his signing has seemed like fancy PR pomp and circumstance by our new owners (Guber, I'm looking at you), knowing that an Asian-American player would be a cash cow, especially in this market.  Actual hope or possibility of Lin ever being an NBA-quality player always seemed like an afterthought.  For me, this early Asian Heritage Night validates those feelings. 

And now....(drumroll)....let the flame war begin!!

Oh, and LGW!!

...here's another trade idea with the Thuggets that might actually work for both sides.  Humor me here, it's my first post...

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yfumyq2  

(I think we'd possibly need to sweeten it with a 2nd round pick)

Ok, before I start another conflagration, let me start out by saying that I like Monta, and I still have high hopes for him.  He has shown an ability (save last year and MopedGate) to hush his doubters in the past through on-court improvements to his game, and if we didn't trade him, I wouldn't be upset.

That said, I make this post because I think this trade is a true win/win and is actually viable for both parties for a number of reasons.

Why it's interesting to the Nuggets:

1. Prove to 'Melo that they're <cough> committed to winning by bringing in one of the league's top scorers.

2. Monta's used to playing in a fast-paced system.

3. Billups is the type of PG that can play successfully next to Monta and switch on Defense when Monta's out-muscled.

4. They get rid of a head-case in JR.

Why it's interesting for the Warriors:

1. We shore up our Front Court and solve our depth (or, lack thereof) problem

2. JR Smith's expiring contract and $6 Mil in Cap Space in 2011

3. JR would fit the run-n-gun

4. Solve the "Monta and Curry can't play in the back court together" problem by making room for Reggie to start

5. Get a "fan favorite/energy player" in the Bird Man to replace the void left by Turiaf.

Downside for Nuggets:

1. Long-term money commitment

2. Monta might not be enough to pacify Melo

3. Thins out their Center position

Downside for Warriors:

1. We take on a headcase, and by all accounts (and fights), not a great locker room guy

2. We get a headcase that is as likely to shoot you out of games as keep you in

3. We take a risk on 4 years of the Birdman's ailing knees at an already ancient age of 32

Anyway, after seeing so many impossible trade proposals posted here (and mulling over so many impossible ones on my own), I finally found one that had real-world possibility and figured it was worth sharing.  I'm curious what you think...?

Thanks for reading.