SBNation.com User Blog: Longhorn in Canada

What does NCAA stand for? A modest proposal

Longhorn in Canada — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 01:22:23 -0000

I've seen the pictures of the Boz, with his t-shirt saying the "C" stood for communist. I can't agree, for more than the obvious reason that no thinking person could ever recommend anything done by such an over-the-top land thief.

No, the C in NCAA can't stand for Communist for the simple reason that the main purpose of the NCAA is to exploit the downtrodden workers and benefit the rich capitalist owners. Hardly sounds like the Communist Manifesto, does it?

So, considering the body of work that has been produced by the NCAA, I think we can come up with a better name. To start the discussion, I humbly offer: Nonsensical Clowns Against Athletes.

I'm sure the fine folks here can offer better suggestions. Maybe we will get enough good ideas to hold a vote. Maybe we will just let a few people blow off steam. Whatever.

So, considering the body of work that has been produced by the NCAA, I think we can come up with a better name. To start the discussion, I humbly offer: Nonsensical Clowns Against Athletes.

I'm sure the fine folks here can offer better suggestions. Maybe we will get enough good ideas to hold a vote. Maybe we will just let a few people blow off steam. Whatever.

A modest proposal

Longhorn in Canada — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 02:36:04 -0000

for our next head coach. We're looking for someone who can RISE to the occasion. Someone who can take up the gauntlet when the shit hits the fan. Someone who does not wilt in the face of competition, but raises his game to meet the challenge.

Unlike Mack Brown, who rolls over and plays dead each time he faces Bob Stoops, my candidate has the courage to face the toughest competition and never flinch. Each time the bar is raised, he responds with an effort that transcends even the glory of a Texas sunset, or maybe sunrise. I don't know, I hardly ever get up early enough to see the sunrise.

Some of the finest writers on this site have challenged him, but he does not flinch. He returns to his keyboard and battles on, producing metaphors that challenge the minds of his greatest critics, and leaves them in the dust of a West Texas prairie dust storm. That is, pretty dusty.

Yes, folks. I present to you the next great coach of the mighty Texas Longhorns. Bill Little.

http://mackbrown-texasfootball.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/102612aab.html

Yes, folks. I present to you the next great coach of the mighty Texas Longhorns. Bill Little.

http://mackbrown-texasfootball.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/102612aab.html

Less hugs, more squeezes

Longhorn in Canada — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 04:41:51 -0000

Let me state up front that I never played college football, and certainly never coached at any level. I do, however, have some experience that might prove useful in assessing our current situation as fans of The University of Texas football team.

I spent many years as a SCUBA instructor, and as an Instructor Trainer. Not as a slide projector operator, but as a teacher striving to impart the knowledge, skills and attitude necessary to make a student into a diver that could not only enjoy the good times, but also survive the occasions when things went badly.

One of the issues that we discussed among fellow instructors was how to prepare student divers for stressful situations when you would no longer be by their side to solve any problems for them. I remember an article titled along the lines of “Squeeze Your Students.” It sounded strange at first, but it here is what it said. Forgive any errors, it has been many years.

Researchers separated lab rats into two groups. The rats in one group were picked up and squeezed, then released at the first sign of stress. The rats in the other group were squeezed well beyond the point where they complained. This went on for some time. Then both groups of rats were dumped into a tank of water. The ones who had gotten off easy quickly gave up and drowned. The ones who had been stressed more, fought and struggled much longer. Of course, they drowned, too, but that’s not really the point of this little story.

When we look back at last Saturday, which group do we think represents the players on the Texas team? Which group is more like the Sooners? Just maybe, is it time for the coaches to start squeezing the players a little harder and longer? Maybe you don't get to start next week if you can't put in the effort this week? We have heard a lot about the new and improved S&C coaching. We have been told all about RISE. There was lots of swagger in the Cotton Bowl last Saturday. Unfortunately, it was on the same side of the field on which it usually resides.

apparently "pass" means "a snap that bounces off of hands carved from granite."

Longhorn in Canada — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 02:25:08 -0000

apparently "pass" means "a snap that bounces off of hands carved from granite."

Here to edumacate you fine folks, is Bill Snyder, Science Guy.

You can thank me later.

I don't watch a lot of NFL games

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 03:52:03 -0000

I enjoy college football more. Tonight, I watched Monday Night Football, and came to a decision.

I will not watch another NFL game until the real officials are back.

I don't have any strong rooting interest between Green Bay and Seattle. Since I live in Victoria, BC, I usually get the Seahawks on TV, but it more often than not pisses me off, as I would rather be watching the Cowboys, or the Titans before they dumped VY.

But watching this game, where the scab refs made one of the worst PI calls in history on a blatant offensive PI, then gave the game to Seattle when it was clearly an interception in the end zone by Green Bay, made me realize the NFL is now in the same "league" as the NBA. The officials are determining the outcome of games, not the players.

Lord help us if we ever get any of these clowns as Big XII officials.

I enjoy college football more. Tonight, I watched Monday Night Football, and came to a decision.

I will not watch another NFL game until the real officials are back.

Lord help us if we ever get any of these clowns as Big XII officials.

Aggies being aggies

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 01:33:15 -0000

The old expression was: "As dumb as a bag of hammers." Well, now it needs to be changed to "As dumb as a box of hammers. " As in Richard Box, an A&M regent and, of course, a former Aggie. Here is a quote from Pat Forde's story about his trip with Mike Slive this last weekend.

The process was acrimonious, controversial and complicated. But by Friday night, on the eve of the first SEC game, there was jubilation at the feeling of liberation from Texas' massive shadow.

"I haven't seen it like this around here since Bear [Bryant] was here," said regent Richard Box, a 1961 undergraduate.

Yet even free and clear from the perceived oppression of the Longhorns, post-dinner conversation among the regents inevitably turned to Texas. The ancient rivalry has been halted, but those in College Station envision a day when it is renewed – and the balance of power is different, thanks to SEC membership.

"When we do play again," Box said, "we'll be the controlling brand."

Oh, yeah. In Aggie dreams. As I said, as dumb as a box of hammers.

The process was acrimonious, controversial and complicated. But by Friday night, on the eve of the first SEC game, there was jubilation at the feeling of liberation from Texas' massive shadow.

"I haven't seen it like this around here since Bear [Bryant] was here," said regent Richard Box, a 1961 undergraduate.

"When we do play again," Box said, "we'll be the controlling brand."

Oh, yeah. In Aggie dreams. As I said, as dumb as a box of hammers.

Another idea for Penn State

Longhorn in Canada — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 18:29:01 -0000

Another idea for Penn State

I put this here for your consideration, rather than add it to Hopkins Horn's excellent post, as I don't want it to get lost. Just maybe there could be a better answer than the death penalty. Odds of this happening? Pretty slim. The possible benefits could be enormous.

Vote with your remote

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:52:38 -0000

Vote with your remote

Not only do I feel your pain, I want to do something about it. If UT or OU had your record this year, there is no doubt that we would be ranked #2.

So, spread the word. This is the best chance ever for college football fans to kill the BCS. Boycott the game. It's not like you would be missing anything, right?

Boycott time

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:34:03 -0000

Boycott time

I know I'm preaching to people who believe in SEC Supremacy here, but seriously, folks. If there ever was a "Championship Game" to boycott, this is it.

Do your part. Refuse to watch this travesty. Help us all get to a better place. Thank you.

Time to organize

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:07:42 -0000

Yes, fellow BONers, it's time to organize. A boycott, that is. Wait, hear me out.

This boycott will not hurt you a bit. All you give up is the chance to watch a very, very boring game. The payoff? Just maybe, the end of this ridiculous BCS system.

At first, like most of you, I was upset by the idea of a rematch for the MNC game. Particularly a rematch of one of the most boring games ever played. Don't give me the story of a defensive battle. The first LSU - Alabama game was more the story of incompetent offense than great defense. Then I realized, this is actually for the best. The resulting lowest ratings ever for any so-called major bowl game, much less the Mythical National Championship game, may finally get the attention of the powers that be. We can only hope.

Actually, we can do more than hope. Join me in not watching this abomination of a game. Your sacrifice (if you can call missing another snoozefest a sacrifice) will be rewarded in the long run.

Boycott the game. Vote with your remote. Hit 'em where it hurts, in the wallet. Spread the word across all of college football fandom. If nobody outside of Louisiana and Alabama watch this crap, change will happen.

Yes, fellow BONers, it's time to organize. A boycott, that is. Wait, hear me out.

This boycott will not hurt you a bit. All you give up is the chance to watch a very, very boring game. The payoff? Just maybe, the end of this ridiculous BCS system.

Actually, we can do more than hope. Join me in not watching this abomination of a game. Your sacrifice (if you can call missing another snoozefest a sacrifice) will be rewarded in the long run.

Penn State and Legality vs Morality

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 01:16:34 -0000

Until yesterday, I respected Joe Paterno. That is all past tense.

Joe Paterno seems to be immune to prosecution in the sad saga of child abuse at Penn State. The AD and others responsible for this tragedy are using the statute of limitations and other legal maneuvering to escape prosecution for their deliberate lying or inaction in this case. They will all probably avoid fines or jail time, other than Sandusky, of course. We can only hope he pays for his crimes, if proven guilty.

There is more to this than just the minimum legal requirements, of course. If someone, that you have no reason to disbelieve, tells you that a coworker is molesting young children, what should you do? If you choose to report this to your boss, is that the end of it? What if there is no sign of any action in a couple of days, or even weeks? Are you justified in forgetting the whole affair, or do you have a moral obligation to all the other children that might be in danger? By the way, you know this former coworker is actively involved in children's charities.

Now consider waiting 9 years, while making no effort to protect the children who you know are in danger.

Not only should Joe Paterno resign immediately, he should be stripped of every victory since 2002 by the NCAA. That would take away the one thing he is genuinely interested in, his record number of wins. He clearly has no interest in the good of the young people under his care.

I know I will get flamed by Penn State fans for this, but sometimes the truth hurts.

Until yesterday, I respected Joe Paterno. That is all past tense.

Now consider waiting 9 years, while making no effort to protect the children who you know are in danger.

I know I will get flamed by Penn State fans for this, but sometimes the truth hurts.

Big East responds to MW/C-USA Merger

Longhorn in Canada — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:55:24 -0000

In a quick response to the breaking news of the Mountain West and Conference-USA merger, the Big East announced today their plans to expand to Paris (not Texas), Berlin and Moscow (not Idaho). When questioned by reporters about the viability of the expanded conference, a spokesman for the newly renamed Big World Conference was upbeat, despite the fact that there were no schools currently playing American style football in any of the named cities. We'll work that out later, he replied.

When questioned about the difficulties of travel for the student-athletes, he laughed and said: Just when has this been about the students and/or the athletes? This is all about expanded TV markets, you fool!

In other news, the ACC has renamed itself the AC&PC&FOSC (the Atlantic Coast and Pacific Coast and Flyover States Conference) in anticipation of expansion to 32 teams. The Big XII is sitting pretty as it holds the rights to the name Big XXXII.

Boats & Hoes

Longhorn in Canada — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:34:49 -0000

Boats & Hoes

Genius like this deserves the widest possible audience. Or, more likely, the drunkest possible audience. Either way, prepare to be amazed.

Good news about Colt

Longhorn in Canada — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 15:42:24 -0000

Good news about Colt

Looks like Colt is in much better hands than last year. In addition to this article, I believe I read earlier that Colt was given non-existent plays to call in the huddle, just to make him look bad in front of his teammates.

I couldn't help but think about the similarities between his situation and that of another UT QB you might have heard of. Replace 3rd round with 3rd pick in round 1, and change the names.

What might have been if someone like Holmgren was at the Titans, and saw that they could win with their QB, but not with their coach?

A&M confirms it's not going anywhere

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:16:39 -0000

A&M confirms it's not going anywhere

The mail forwarding issues were the final straw!

Bad news for all football fans

Longhorn in Canada — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 01:33:55 -0000

Bad news for all football fans

Remember, you can talk all the smack you want online, but in person it can get strange.

Be careful out there.

Greg Davis makes the short list at UNC

Longhorn in Canada — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:55:18 -0000

Greg Davis makes the short list at UNC

Along with a couple of other ex-Longhorn coaches.

My vote is for GD, as they won't have to change the name on the parking spot.

Mack at Big XII Media Days

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:48:30 -0000

Coach Brown seemed his usual, politically astute self at the Big 12 - 2 media days. He had a little fun with the Longhorn Network question, and offered up the usual platitudes. Frankly, he's too good at this for any of us to expect anything different. With the current slate of coaches, the only hope for anything really quotable is Mike (I'm a MAN!) Gundy.

After admitting to not being good last year, Mack did go a little overboard when saying that changing the turnover margin would have made us a good team last year. I don't think he really meant it, since you don't replace most of your coaching staff if turnovers were the only thing keeping you from being good. Actually, I just went to the Big XII site to look at the quotes after spotting this online. I have to agree. Margin of turnovers wasn't the difference between the Horns and a good team last year, it was the difference between the Horns and a mediocre team.

Boy, does it hurt to admit that.

NCAA puts teeth in glass overnight, then loses them the next morning

Longhorn in Canada — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 03:38:58 -0000

NCAA puts teeth in glass overnight, then loses them the next morning

Well, if tOSU's actions in this case aren't "Lack of institutional control" or "failure to monitor" then I guess nothing is.

After the sanctions against USC, some of us hoped that we were seeing the dawn of a new era concerning violations by big-time schools. Obviously, that is not the case.

If Texas and other schools want to belong to an organization that actually enforces its rules, I think it's time we left the NCAA and started our own.

All is well in Columbus

Longhorn in Canada — Sun, 08 May 2011 17:06:14 -0000

All is well in Columbus

From Yahoo Sports: (Click on fanshot title for link)
"COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP)—As part of his punishment for not revealing his knowledge of his players’ NCAA violations, Ohio State coach Jim Tressel will attend a five-day compliance seminar in June in Tampa, Fla.

Ohio State spokesman Jim Lynch confirmed Saturday that Tressel would take part in the NCAA-sponsored event June 6-10 at a resort hotel on the waterfront.

One of the topics of the compliance seminar—one of two put on by the NCAA this summer—is "Division I Major Infractions."

Well, all you negative naysayers have been proven wrong. It seems that the reason Coach Tressel covered up his players' misdeeds and lied repeatedly was that he didn't know it was wrong. After attending this seminar, he will finally know the rules."

As an aside, to those who say the NCAA will never come down hard on a program like Ohio State, consider the punishment here. Five days at an oceanfront resort! That should put the fear of God into any other programs tempted to cheat.

Adios, Nebraska

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 20:20:30 -0000

Adios, Nebraska

Not sure when this was taken, but it seems to sum up our travels to Lincoln over the years.
Thanks to Gen. Stoopnagle from EDSBS.

Watch Auburn - Mississippi State

Longhorn in Canada — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 02:22:52 -0000

Not just for the game, which is actually a pretty good one. And not just to see what a former UT defensive coordinator can do. No, watch for the commercials, which keep saying those famous three little words. No, not "I love you". Those other 3 - "Vince Young Scores!" This has come up about 8 times so far. Can't hear it enough, if you ask me. And, of course, you get to watch the best TD run in history. Over and over again.

Stoops as a grape variety?

Longhorn in Canada — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 17:09:11 -0000

Infield Elephant posted a fanshot of the picture. Winers and losers, indeed. I thought you would appreciate Spencer's take on this, as it is right up there with his best work. Scroll down to The Curious Index. There is also a link to a Denver Post article about Dodds and the UT program, which is worth a look.

"Bob Stoops strikes us as a Pinot Noir guy, since the grape is expensive, very good under the right conditions, and sometimes falls to pieces under the slightest pressure."

Just too good to not be shared.

"Bob Stoops strikes us as a Pinot Noir guy, since the grape is expensive, very good under the right conditions, and sometimes falls to pieces under the slightest pressure."

Just too good to not be shared.

EDSBS looks at the upcoming Longhorn network

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:31:44 -0000

EDSBS looks at the upcoming Longhorn network

Admit it, there are shows here you would watch all night long. I'm personally TIVO'ing the projected most popular show.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

Longhorn in Canada — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:52:26 -0000

Not that there's anything wrong with that

The first link to the video seems to be broken, but one of the comments has a link that works. Good stuff.

How sweet it is

Longhorn in Canada — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:02:18 -0000

I ran across this yesterday, thanks to Hey Jenny Slater. Made me stop and think. How many years has it been since UT failed to accomplish this trifecta? Being lazy, I'll leave the research to one of my fellow BON'ers, but I suspect that it has been quite awhile. More to the point, I can't imagine any newspaper or other organization in Texas that would feel the need to congratulate UT for such a major "accomplishment".

So, the next time you feel the need to complain about Mack's not landing every 5 star recruit in the country, or Rick's not winning it all, or Augie's tendency to sacrifice bunt too often, just stop and take a deep breath. Things could be so much worse. Yes, we're spoiled, but it's good to be spoiled. Just don't get too upset if we don't win National Championships in every sport in which we compete. How many fans can honestly look forward to the possibility of a championship at the start of the season for each of these major sports?

Remember, as my Grandpappy always said, "It's not polite to ask a man where he's from. If he's from Texas, he'll get around to telling you. If he's not, well there ain't no point in embarrassing him."

And now for something completely different

Longhorn in Canada — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:36:46 -0000

Like most of you, I am just trying to cope with yesterday's disappointing loss to Duke. Combined with OU's win, it might make some of you temporarily jealous of our good neighbors to the north. This morning, I ran across this.

"In January 2008, London's The Sun found a practitioner of a new art form in which a design is inked, with a tattoo needle, into the sclera, which is the white part of the eyeball. That volunteer (from Canada) may well be the only daredevil, or one of a tiny number, but Oklahoma state senators were alarmed enough that they passed legislation out of committee in February to ban the practice in their state. "If we can stop ... one person from doing it, we've been successful," said Sen. Cliff Branan. An Oklahoma City tattoo artist told KSBI-TV that the law is useless, in that "common sense" will prevent the problem. (So far, only the senators from Oklahoma seem to believe they have constituents who might actually ask for ink to be inserted into their eyeballs.) [KSBI-TV (Oklahoma City), 2-20-09; The Sun, 2-27-08] "

While Chuck Sheperd seems to be poking fun at the Oklahoma state senate for passing an unnecessary law, we know better. The good senators from Oklahoma know their constituents all too well, it seems. If any jurisdiction on the planet needs a law to prevent its citizens from getting their eyeballs tattooed, it's Soonerland.

To summarize, while you may feel pain this morning, life could be worse. You could be an Okie.

Aggies' place in the body of football

Longhorn in Canada — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:35:53 -0000

Aggies' place in the body of football

Just had to pass this on.

Durant takes it outside

Longhorn in Canada — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 01:36:50 -0000

Durant takes it outside

Not content with being named the MVP of the Rookie-Soph game, KD cleans up in the HORSE competition. In other surprising news to Horns fans, the sun came up this morning.

Thoughts on the Titans' loss (or, PB rules)

Longhorn in Canada — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:57:46 -0000

Watching the Titans this year, particularly yesterday in their predictable loss to the Ravens, I found myself less than overwhelmed with Kerry Collins. Serviceable, yes. Good enough to carry the team in a big game? I didn't think so earlier, and yesterday seemed to bear that out. I don't think Kerry had a bad game, so much as he didn't have the weapons to win this one. Once Chris Johnson went to the sidelines, Tennessee just had nothing to beat the Ravens' defense.

Watching the second half, I kept thinking that someone had predicted this, and had offered a solution. Oh yeah, our own PB. http://www.burntorangenation.com/2008/12/21/698862/kerry-collins-vs-vince-you

When you're right, you're right.