As I start to write this, it is 71 days and 5 hours until the first round of the 2012 NFL Draft begins. With your Houston Texans not picking until 26th --- thanks to a little thing I like to call MAKING THE PLAYOFFS FOR THE FIRST TIME --- they probably won't be on the clock until some time after 10pm CST. (Related: Starting the draft on a Thursday night remains a stupid idea that I hate very much.)

While we (read: Tim) have linked to various mock drafts, I figured midway through February, a mere eight days prior to the start of the NFL Combine, was as good a time as any to compile all of the mocks into one post. Then, we can do the same thing again post-Combine and maybe once or twice more as late April nears. It's like a time-capsule for people with ADD!

Also, If you know of any decent mocks that I have missed, please add them in the comments with a link and the name of the player currently predicted to go to Houston. Now, onward! Let us review mock drafts in a non-mocking (for the most part) way!

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While I enjoy the entire trilogy, I have seen Back To The Future roughly 5,481 more times than I've seen either BTTF II or BTTF III. I figure most people --- aside from my odd buddy, Jeff, who likes II the best of the whole series --- are in a similar boat. So, while I've seen the first movie so many times that I can tell you off the top of my head the names of the streets around the courthouse¹ and the major businesses on each², I can do so only in the context of the BTTF I timeline.³

I realized this fact last Friday, and I decided to attempt to rectify the discrepancy, starting with the second film. Going through it more closely, I noticed a number of things that bothered me, including one that was football related:

When Biff from 2015 is giving the Grays Sports Almanac to 1955 Biff, the older version proves that the almanac can't lose by tuning the car radio to a broadcast of a UCLA-Washington football game. Over the radio, we hear that there are 18 seconds left in the game, that it is fourth down, and that the Bruins trail by 1, 17-16. 2015 Biff predicts that the Bruins will win 19-17, which 1955 Biff scoffs at, quoting the radio announcer who said that it looked like it was "all over for UCLA." UCLA launches a 33-yard FG and wins by the predicted score. 1955 Biff is amazed that the old man got the score right.

Immediately, three things jumped out at me:

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Rivers' exquisitely crafted note of gratitude to Wade Phillips gave us an idea. For the next several days, we'll periodically be posting entries thanking various people who had a hand in making the Texans' 2011 season as enjoyable as it was. The season's over, which blows, but there's a lot to appreciate, and it's a loooooong offseason, so let's do take a minute to say thank you.

When you think about it, devoid of context, it is a little weird to be thanking a guy who played in 7 games during the regular season and finished only 5 of those. But, then, that's why context is important, isn't it. (Spoiler alert: Yes, it is.) And that's why I wanted to take a few minutes and thank Andre Lamont Johnson, not so much for what he did in 2011¹, but for what he's done for this franchise and meant to this organization for nine seasons.

Due in large part to my rule that, all things being equal, you should always take the Miami player over a similar player from a lesser football program², I was thrilled when the Texans took Johnson third overall in 2003. In what we would soon realize was typical Andre fashion, he hauled in 6 catches for 76 yards in his Texans debut, a 21-20 win over the Dolphins in front of his friends and family in Miami.

So, first off I suppose, thank you, Andre, for being a beast from the start and making Texans fans feel much more confident about the franchise's second first-round pick than they did about the team's first.

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Back in the halcyon days of Da Good, Da Bad & DeMeco, I wrote:

Every time I hear the song "The Devil Went Down To Georgia," two things jump out at me. First, under the terms of the agreement, it was apparently up to the Devil to decide who won the competition. No judges were named, and no one else was mentioned in the song. Now, maybe your mental version of Bud Adams' spawn differs from mine, but I have serious doubts that ol' Lou Cypher would be unbiased in picking the winner. I mean, dude was in a bind (and way behind) or he never would have entered the contest in the first place. Regardless, I really can't see Satan saying "dang, ya got me...and, as I am a man of my word and not the embodiment of evil, I will honor the bet I made with you."

But that brings me to the second observation. Namely, the Devil WON the competition. That dude broke it down so it could forever remain broken. Johnny, on the other hand, played some 10-second snippits from standard bluegrass classics?? "Fire On The Mountain," "House Of The Rising Sun," and a variation on "Chicken In A Bread Pan?" Seriously? The Devil just rocked your face off, and you do some bluegrass covers? Who are you, Bill Monroe's retarded savant child?

In the comments to that post, someone (I think it was DeMecoShallInheritTheEarth, but I am not sure) noted that another flaw with the song was that a fiddle made of gold would be remarkably heavy and have terrible acoustics. I still feel like that's a great point. But, hearing the song this morning, something that I have never considered suddenly jumped out at me.

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The last fifteen minutes of the Texans' season? I certainly hope not.

Let's do this. NOW.

Three happy thoughts:

1. Arian Foster's first half rushing total is the highest full-game total the Ravens have ever allowed in a playoff game. (Suck on THAT, Marshall Faulk.)

2. If not for the turnovers --- looking at YOU, Jacoby --- the Texans would be dominating this game.

3. Kareem Jackson might (MIGHT!) have figured out that turning one's head improves one's ability to defend a pass.

So . . . uh, to paraphrase another great Missourian, the reports of the Texans' demise have been greatly exaggerated. (What's that? I was guilty of reporting their demise in the first quarter? Why you gotta bring up old stuff, dude? Focus on the future!)

Second quarter thread. You know what to do.

(Unless you are Jacoby Jones, that is. Seriously, that was the worst play I've ever seen at any level of football. There are Pop Warner punt returners who thought "whoa, that was stupid!" Because it was.)

Pregame enthusiasm made the first open thread fill up rather quickly, and I imagine that kickoff will bring even more commenters, so here's a shiny, new thread for your first quarter thoughts.

Also, in case there's someone out there who hasn't seen this:

"We got ourselves a game."

I don't think anyone planned on the first open thread getting so many comments, but it did. (Thank you to all who have participated.) Because the commenting system gets a little weird once you cross 1,000 comments, here's an open thread for commentary on Tebow v. Brady.

Also, here's a link to Jimmy Fallon's "TeBowie" parody. Just because.

Hey Joe, whatcha doin’ with that ball in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said, whatcha doin’ with that ball in your hand?

I’m throwin’ away another good season.
You know, postseason games are much harder, man.
Yeah, I’m throwin’ away another good season.
You know, postseason games are much harder, man.

Huh! You ain’t Joe Cool!

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Very few things in life --- in my life, at least (though I suspect this to be the same for most of us) --- ever live up to the expectations we've set for them. Movies, sophomore album releases, famous restaurants, the finales of most television series . . . the more we hype how great something is sure to be, the less likely it is that the thing will measure up. Which creates the odd feeling of disappointment even in situations where the actual experience was good, because it just wasn't good enough.

Because of this phenomenon, the list of things in my life that have actually exceeded my expectations when they finally happened is not extensive: the overwhelming happiness a few weeks ago when the Texans had officially made the playoffs for the first time, the surprise of finding out my daughter's gender when she was born, the sense of relief upon finding out I'd passed the bar exam, Dyer's triple-triple with bacon, marriage the second time around.

And, after Saturday, the list has to include the awesomeness of the Texans' winning their first playoff game.

Others have hit on all the ways in which that game was fantastic, from Andre Johnson's much deserved TD to Arian Foster's embarrassment of Chris Crocker, and from Danieal Manning's textbook safety help resulting in an INT to T.J. Yates' outdueling the much more hyped Pride of Katy. For me, however, the lasting image of the game and the moment that I'm sure I'll be telling my grandkids about, whether they want to listen or not, is this:

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I have to admit, I have a soft spot for the Saints after my trip down there. Stand up and get crunk in the comments if you are watching the late game.

Boo yah.

Submitted: No one has ever deserved a TD more than Andre Johnson did. Discuss.

Fourth Quarter, y'all. Let's do this.

J.J. Watt commands you to continue the conversation here. You should listen to him. Otherwise, he'll get angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

I'm far too stressed, happy, angry, scattered, and emotionally spent to write things here. Continue the conversation below. And, if you happen to be a Texans defensive player who is reading this, get a sack or three, ok? Thanks.

I have a bizarre fascination with hidden tracks on CDs. Discovering one always feels like the first time I made it through the swimming stage of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the original NES. (Seriously, it's bad enough that they made Donatello the only turtle who was worth fighting with; couldn't they have at least made the TURTLES better swimmers as a whole?!) That is to say, it always feels like I've suddenly joined an elite club of "people who know."

(Wow . . . that sounds way dorkier now that I re-read it. Oh well. Onward.)

Anyway, you know how a lot of the hidden tracks, especially on earlier CDs were only found if you let the disc keep playing after the "last" song ended? For example, "All By Myself" off of Green Day's Dookie album, "16 Days" off of Wade Bowen's Just For Fun album, and "The Heckler" off of Primus' Antipop album. Well, consider this 2DH the blog post equivalent of one of those hidden tracks. You left the disc playing, you didn't expect anything else, and then this just started playing.

Enjoy.

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Under normal circumstances, losing a game in the manner that the Texans did on Sunday would have sent me into a rage that resulted in a dog's being kicked. (Probably the little dachshund; she barely counts as a dog, really.) Losing to the Tennessee Titans in that fashion would have taken my reaction up another notch to outright apoplexy (meaning I would have kicked the dachshund at one of my kids).

Yet none of that happened, because Sunday was not "normal circumstances." It did not matter one bit whether the Texans won, lost, or tied that game. Yet, despite that, the backups, especially on defense, played very well and almost beat a Titans team that was fighting for their playoff lives.

You'd think that everyone --- at least everyone who was a Texans fan --- would have had the same outlook about the game. After all, there was zero upside to going to overtime in that situation, so the 2-point conversion attempt was absolutely the right call, even after the false start. There was zero downside in losing the game; the playoff seed could not possibly change, no matter what happened.

Some people, however, saw it differently.

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Dear Titans Fans,

Your starters beat JAKE DELHOMME and a bunch of backups by one point. Ponder that before you start acting like your team was anything short of underwhelming today.

Yours,
MDC

P.S. I honestly hope the Titans make the playoffs and come back to Houston next weekend. That's how unimpressed with the Titans I was today.

To The Tune Of Auld Lang Syne

Titans fans may all use meth
Be it smoked or snorted line
Titans fans may all use meth
But their sisters do not mind

CHORUS:
Their sisters do not mind, my dear
Their sisters do not mind
The family trees, they may not branch
But their sisters do not mind

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Despite the fact that the widow of a United States Marine was presented with a mortgage-free house on Sunday, and the entire presentation occurred on the field prior to the game, Jeremy Shockey declared that the Texans were unpatriotic and did not "show[] respect to America during the national anthem."

Shockey reached this conclusion by counting the number of Texans players who did not place their right hands over their hearts during the song. "There were about 10 players who didn’t put their arms across their chest. This is America. They should at least give respect to America."

Ten, huh? That's the number we're working with?

/goes full screen on YouTube video of National Anthem showing Panthers' sideline

/screen-caps a shot 2:20 into the video

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