There are a couple of themes emerging in each thread that I would like to sort out, especially since there have been so many requests, nay challenges, for cogent arguments. (It's like the knights of the round table around here sometimes with people throwing down gloves and gauntlets...)

1. The front office has declared its intention to win games now and succeed with the current roster and coach.

2. Several SLCdunkers have suggested it's time to tank and get the best chance in the lottery.

3. Some have argued the merits of keeping and playing veterans. If Ty Corbin were a blogger, we assume he would be in this camp.

4. Most, though, have clamored for a youth movement, let the young guns play in order to develop. We assume that Jeremy Evans is in this camp, along with Ray Borque and the two young bigs.

Here's the gap in the logic: you can't say you want the young guys to play AND say that you want to give up this season and hope for a good lotto slot, BECAUSE THE VETS ARE THE ONES LOSING GAMES! NEVER MORE EVIDENT THAN LAST NIGHT IN MINNY!!!!

If you want us to tank, then you also need to want the vets getting all the playing time, right? In other words, Ty Corbin (who has played poor-playing vets at inopportune moments) is clearly either a) delusional or b) already trying to tank, which makes him a kind of genius or madman.

I mean, if you want the jazz to rebuild (and admit they're rebuilding), then your favorite lineup in any given game will include Harris and Howard at least, and then - debatably - jefferson, CJ, Bell, etc. If you want to win now, then wouldn't you want Hayward at all times, Burks as much as possible, and either Kanter or Favors in any given minute? They are not only our team's core contractually, but also talent-wise. Only Jefferson has a legitimate claim to outplaying any of those guys, and that's only if we narrow the conversation strictly to scoring.

If I were in the front office, here's the argument I would make:

• We're not a contender playing Harris, Howard and company. The more minutes they get, the less our younger players develop.
• If we play the young guys, they develop for sure.
• If they happen to lose while they're developing, then we're in better shape for the lottery - no worse for the wear.
• If they happen to win while they're developing - which I think is not unreasonable, then that's awesome because that means we have some serious young players and a fun team to watch and something to cheer for, which is, after all, the point.

Anybody who saw any part of last night's OKC-Denver game has to know that it was utterly epic, and OKC landed on top. They had one fellow score over 50 points, another fellow with 40, and another fellow with a triple double. If that isn't proof enough that we oughtta follow 'The OKC Model' then I've got an arena for sale in Seattle!

Step 1: Jettison our stars. I think we did that last year.

Step 2: Move to a smaller city. I recommend Park City. I think this will help us attract free agents, as long as they don't have a "no-skiing" clause in their contracts. I bet Kendrick Perkins is a good skier.

Step 3: Change our name to better reflect the new city - something the Jazz should have done years ago. Since we're aiming at Park City and there's the whole mountain resort theme, I recommend a name like "The Park City Norwegians." But I'm open to other suggestions.

Step 4: Draft an out of control off the hook PG from UCLA. Well, we didn't draft him, but we've got Earl Watson, and he's pretty great. I think he just needs to play more. Any disagreement here?

Step 5: Draft Kevin Durant. This might be more difficult to do since it has already been done once, by OKC nonetheless. Hmmm.... I guess I'm kind of stumped here. Damn.. So close, we got four out of five steps to the OKC model. What's our best alternative? The Miami Heat model?

...if there is a problem, that is.

Bill Simmons, who I hate but can't not read, believes strongly that point guard play is significant to every team's success. He talks about how we can't pass judgment on NY Knicks until they add a decent pg to Carmelo and A'ma'r'e. (I personally think Carmelo will never again be a champion...)

Mr. Simmons also believes that we're in a golden age of point guards. See his quote:

9. Has there ever been a better year for point guards?

The short answer: No. It's like the quarterback boom in football — and if you want to extend the analogy, some of the NBA's rule changes last decade (dumping hand checks, speeding up the game) helped point guards much like the NFL's rule changes (changing the pass interference rules, protecting quarterbacks) helped passing. But you still need the talent, and fortunately, we're blessed with Derrick Rose, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Rajon Rondo, Russell Westbrook, Stephen Curry (although his paper-mache ankles are starting to worry me), Tony Parker (another killer season for him), Kyle Lowry (morphing into a poor man's Fat Lever), Steve Nash, Ty Lawson (one of the fastest NBA players ever), Rubio, Irving, John Wall (coming on), Jrue Holiday (already came on) and Brandon Jennings (finally made a leap this year) … suddenly you're in good hands with half the league's point guards running your team. And we didn't even mention capable veterans like Mike Conley, the Semi-Rejuvenated Jose Calderon, Ray Felton and Andre Miller; The Artist Formerly Known as Jason Kidd; Baron (if he has anything left in the tank); works in progress like Brandon Knight (I'm a fan), T.B.H. Evans,8 Roddy Beaubois (a possible late bloomer???) and Kemba Walker; or even Jimmer Fredette's abundant garbage time skills.9

Look, it's not rocket science: Any basketball game is going to be more entertaining with competent-or-better point guards running the show. (Cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding.) Without the right point guard, you won't get fast break points or easy baskets (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), you won't have good ball movement (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), it's harder to get your post guys the ball in the right spots (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), and you might have to rely on one perimeter player shooting 25 to 30 times a game while everyone else stands around (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding vigorously while fighting off tears). More point guards = more fun.10

uhhhhhh, sooo uhhhhhh, which team is conspicuously absent from his list....

Is solid PG the missing link for the Jazz, the difference between barely making/barely missing the playoffs and being a real threat in the playoffs? How much better is the rest of our team with a better PG?

Personally, I'm ready for Earl to start, but I have also noticed (especially when I was at the ESA monday night) that he is not just a pass-first PG, but on a break, he's a pass-only guard. He doesn't threaten to go all the way to the hoop the way Devin-at-his-best plays. Earl's had his moments in the lane, but mostly he stays out because he isn't super effective there ----- in my unscientific opinion.

Where are we with respect to our PG roster? Stand pat? Cross our fingers for the future? Trade assets now? Trade any asset now?

Thesis: Lots of yall have talked about Hayward being misused as a 3 when his more natural, fruitful effort is at 2.

Antithesis: Pre-game show on KFAN featured Tom Nissalke and Phil Johnson. (They weren't specifically talking about Hayward.) Phil said, "2 or 3 are interchangeable on offense," and that distinction matters more on defense. Nissalke agreed.

Synthesis: ......your thoughts, friends.

[I'm inclined to agree with the experts (with respect to all yall) insofar as the Jazz offense (especially) includes passing and screening and cutting for just about everybody. They've been running a lot of flex in the couple of hours'-worth I've watched so far this year. Flex doesn't care who you are...if you run it for the entire shot clock, everyone gets a turn on the block, everyone gets a turn at the elbow, everyone at the wing. So is Hayward really being limited by the label "3"?]

1. Wesley Matthews is going to save all of us.  He is AK circa 2002.  He is Mansap Circa 2007.  He is KOOF circa 2011.  How did we get so lucky?  Doesn't that usually happen to other people's teams?  Like the Patriots and Kentucky and the Phillies?  Thank you Wesley.  Thank you Wesley.

2. Eff Bill Simmons and his 21st Century Boston Celtics.  He's never given respect to the Jazz and he can suck on this loss for a few days.  It's unclear to me how you can write a book like the one he wrote, how you can buy in so deeply to the Celtics mystique and then not recognize a TEAM that plays TEAM basketball the way god and Moses and Dr. James Naismith intended.  Deron will win a championship before CP3.  He will win MVP before CP3.  He will enter the HOF before CP3.  It doesn't even matter if that violated jinxing policy because the momentum of Deron is so heavy he will overcome my jinx too.  Screw Simmons.

3. Okur can rebound!  I'd like to order up some more rebounds with a side of icepick-in-the-heart 3's at the deadliest moments.

4.  Is CJ growing up?  Growing into his talent?  If so, watch out.

5.  Not sure what to think about Boozer, especially in light of Yucca's comments the other day.  The body language between Booze and Dwill was very positive tonight.  Remember when D passed it in to Booze at the elbow and CJ was wide open but Booze missed it?  So he kicks it back out, CJ curls around Booze and drags the defense with him, then Booze dives to the block gets the pass and the And-1?  Well right after that shot, Dwill came over and they were giggling all giddy like those pricks from Kentucky who think they can beat Ohio State in the final.  It was so....right.  Booze is very likeable when he's likeable.  Like when he blocked that

6. OMG!  That block and dunk was so cool.  If I had done that, I would have two handed on the run, Barkley style.  But it was so glorious to see Ray Allen look like a JV scrub sent into a Varsity game all of a sudden.

7.  Note to self - never miss the 3rd quarter of a Jazz game.

8. Sorry I missed the thread.  I was doing some other work while I watched.

9.  Could somebody please catch the entire Nuggets organization with a trunkload of marijuana?  We can beat them in a series, but it would be nice if they didn't pick up the #2 seed.

10.  OMSW for President.  He could get us to real universal health care without unconstitutional mandates.  That would be awesome.  Wesley Matthews will save us all.

Scored Jazz tix again last night, including a free hot dog on which I put mustard, catchup, frysauce and pickles.  Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.  Here's what I learned:

1. Wesley Matthews looks like Wesley Snipes... maybe "sniper" for a nickname, especially given his shooting of late?  OMSW-the-Sniper?  Whatever.

2. Wesley Matthews is fearless.

3. Deron Williams is a real ninja...just like when Pinnochio becomes a real boy, I'm talking about the same amount of realness but as a ninja.  He had a move that started at the 3 point line, ended at the basket, and went around every limb, changed hands at least three times, broke 11 ankles, and took about 17% effort from D-Will.  He's that good.

4. Every play is a fast break with deron, until it isn't.  Andre Miller was like this at the U.  Push the ball up until the window closes, then responsibly bring it back out.  Every pg should play this way.

5. Fesenko's limbs are made of gummy worms and his shoes are actually toaster ovens and his hands are dolphin flippers.  Still, he is the best and biggest big man we're always saying we don't have.  Let him play.  Let him play.  Let him play.  The only way he'll learn to stay on his feet is with experience.  The only way he'll take free throws seriously is if he has to start taking a bunch of them.  Let him play.

6. I know we have said this ad nauseum, but boozer's help d is atrocious.  In fact, a lot of the bigs' help is bad.  But specifically, it's bad when the other big is on the block opposite boozer's big.  The Wiz had a handful of one-on-one post moves that met no resistance in the lane.  There is no reason for Booze to be on the outside of the lane on the weakside when the strong side has the ball on the block.  (Actually, am I running up against illegal defense here?  Is that why he doesn't drift in to help?  I don't really know that rule very well.. somebody clarify.)

7. Some Jazz dancers are hot and sexy.  Others are ridiculous.  There was one in particular who's head shaking looked more like she was in the middle of a bad car accident and less like strutting.  It was weird.  Subtlety is a virtue in all the arts.

8. Gaines can shoot.  I think I like him better than Price.  Any thoughts?  He really gets in guys' faces on D too, an annoying bugger.  For a stretch, he was the only one playing D (he was checking Foye).

9. I've never left a game early in my life.  I think it's classless.  But I had to drive an hour to get home and be at work this morning by 7.  So we left with 7 minutes left.  At that point, it was essentially a Fesenko drill, which was fun for a little while.

10.  Deron's first foul was an offensive foul where he raised to shoot from the baseline and popped Foye (I think it was Foye) in the jaw with his elbow.  HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT THAN DURANT OR KOBE OR GINOBLI RAISING THEIR ARMS FROM UNDER A DEFENDER'S OUTSTRETCHED ARMS TO DRAW A FOUL?  WHO IS ENTITLED TO THE SPACE?  bs call.  bs cs call.  the C is for Chicken.

During tonight's epic game thread vs. Golden State (I stopped posting when the count reached 747), there was quite a bit of CJ bashing which cooled a bit after some brave bloggers stood up for him.  It was kind of like being at dinner with the in-laws and everyone assumes it's okay to bash the president and finally you say, "Hey, I voted for that guy!  Give him a chance!"  Anyhoo, I would like to recommend some guidelines for how to hate on CJ properly, appropriately, lest the group dynamics become less like what RRR calls "The #1 Jazz Site in the World!!!" and more like the island of boys in Lord of the Flies. (Cue Trent Reznor.)

1. CJ is not your whipping post - don't hate on CJ out of frustration caused by KOC, Boozer-D, D-league rosters, or Kobe Bryant existing.

2. CJ is a mall rat - and this is a good reason to hate on him since it is indicative of his maturity level, which may be the only thing preventing him from becoming Ray Allen 2.0.

3. CJ with feet set, missed - no hate.

4. CJ without feet set, miss or make - bring the hate.

5. CJ Heat checks - hate.

6. CJ Passing - ...well, after we see a pass from CJ, we'll decide if it merits hate or no hate. I'm inclined to say any time he passes it's a good thing because he must REALLY be covered.

7. What if CJ is keeping Korver on the bench? a) 1st 2nd 3rd quarters, no hate allowed. b) 4th quarter, bring the hate.

8. What if CJ is keeping Matthews on the bench? It depends on the defensive assignment: for example if it's vs. a high scoring slasher (Kobe, T-Mac, Kevin Martin, Ginobli) then bring the hate, whereas if it's not someone that can torch us, we might as well see if CJ can torch them.  CJ is more likely to get 25 than Matthews - but if we need to shut somebody down, then it has to be Matthews.

9. CJ Scowling - this is also a mixed bag.  If he's scowling it's because he's already hit some shots, but rest assured he will start jacking some heat checks.  Hate, in this case, is up to the discretion of the viewer.

10.  CJ kickin' it with his boy D-Will - NO HATE ALLOWED.  D-Will must remain in Jazz Green until he retires.  If we have to pay $4m for D-Will to have an X-box buddy and someone to kiss a$$ at the golf tournament, then it's money well-spent.  (This is the biggest indictment, i believe, of the Brewer trade.)

I so move, with respect.

CJ Miles dunk on Amare Stoudemire (via memoismoney)

Nobody is cooler than Diamond David Lee Roth.  

via images.starpulse.com

Check out this website for a sample.  (I can play along with the record and not miss a beat.)

On the other hand, Diamond Dave has become this:

via www.johnrook.com

I still love him.  He still rocks, but he's not going to fill any stadiums anymore.  HIs value as a performer is nostalgia, not anything new.  I love him for the nostalgia, but I'm not delusional about what it is all about.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

Here's the Sloan we all love:

via www.nba.com

via www.elpais.com

via i2.cdn.turner.com

via images.dailyradar.com

via a.espncdn.com

But let's be honest.  This is the Sloan we've got this year:

via images.usatoday.com

Which has resulted in this:

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

and this:

via cdn2.sbnation.com

via t1.gstatic.com

via assets.sbnation.com

via i10.photobucket.com

We've got ourselves a Joe Paterno problem here where the only way to let Jerry go is for him to realize himself that he needs to go.  Where is the fire?  Where is the tired of losing post game rant?  Or is he just too tired to get up for that kind of thing?

I don't think it will be long before Deron loses hope for this team as presently constituted, including the coaching staff, and no amount of money is going to keep him in Utah if a championship isn't on the horizon.  We have talked about this before, made hints and tried to courteously wonder aloud if maybe Sloan's time hasn't come.  But I'm done toeing the "Is this blasphemy?" line.  Sloan is holding this team back.  He isn't getting the team motivated, fired up and playing the way he played.  No amount of nostalgia is going to change that.

My prescription?

via www.saltcityhoops.com

Simmons' column is two days late to predict the Harpring/Maynor trade, but there's a bit of Jazz bait nevertheless: a trade scenario with the Kings that's worthy of review here.  Says Simmons:

• VP's verdict: Package Martin with Kenny Thomas' expiring contract for future assets. Biggest no-brainer of this column. Move now. For example …

 

 

Fake Trade 12: Martin/Thomas to Utah for Andrei Kirilenko (expires in 2011), Kyle Korver's EC, $3 million (not a problem because Utah still saves $3.2 million with the difference in salaries, plus another $3.2 million in luxury-tax money) and the rights to New York's unprotected first-round pick in 2010.

 

 

(Hold on, we have to wait a few seconds for every Knicks fan to stop shaking his or her head. Just a few more seconds. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. And … we're good.)

 

 

I love this trade. For one thing, a Martin-Deron Williams backcourt would be loads of fun (shades of Utah teaming Hornacek and Stockton back in the day). Utah gets damned close to being under the luxury tax. Sacramento gets a gigantic expiring contract for next season (Kirilenko's $17.8 million), another scrappy, balls-to-the-wall guy (Kirilenko again), an official "this is your team" announcement to Evans AND a lottery ticket for the John Wall Sweepstakes.

 

First my thoughts; put yours in comments.

1. K-Mart in place of Brewer, CJ, Korver, Matthews?  Yes, loyalty to CJ and Brewer notwithstanding.  If K-Mart is friendly with D-Will (he'd have to be if he displaced D-Will's team-BFFs), then that becomes the best offensive backcourt in the league.  Frankly, I don't know enough of K-Martin's defense to say anything about it - some of you ought to comment on that.  

2.The end of the AK era?  I thought we were already there.  He's a shadow of the shadow of his former self.  When's the last time he got a weak-side block?  When's the last time he caught up to a fast break and pinned it against the glass?  He used to be the most exciting flash of white flesh in the league.  Now he is a role player with a superstar salary.  I have long felt that he is the fulcrum on which our fortunes rise and fall.  You know what you're getting from DW, CB, MO for the most part.  But if AK has a big game, it's a win.  If he disappears, we don't do well.  (One of you statisticians ought to test this thesis against the numbers.)  Sadly, it's too much of the latter these days.  If we get value for AK, it's okay to say goodbye.  (Maybe Moni can move to Utah and take over Masha's stores if they have to move away.)

3. If John Wall is the prize of the draft, I can tell you right now we should trade that pick.  (Pause for groaning...)  The fact that he's at Kentucky tells us his integrity is questionable.  I think he is the next Iverson (with more dunks), and I am not talking about the talking about practice Iverson, I'm talking about the heroic Iverson of the 2001 Lakers-Phillies series where he showed more balls than Titleist, more guts than a pig farm, and more macho than Nacho Libre, more won't-quit than a Honda Civic.  I came to respect Iverson that year, and I think John Wall could have a career on par with Iverson.....which is to say unless Nellie moves to Utah and Deron moves to Hawaii, we don't want him.

4. Damn it would be nice to see the Jazz do something!  "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." For the love of LHM, make a trade sooner than later.  Who thinks it should be this one?

I got to see Deron's buzzer-brick in person tonight.  Good to have pals with extra tix.  A quick perusal of the game thread shows I missed quite a conversation.  I fully expect to have nightmares of being attacked by female ninjas - I suspect they kill you with double-surprise:  1. OMG! A ninja has snuck upon me!   2. OMG! It's a girl!  Here are some things I took home with me tonight:

1. Boozer really doesn't help on defense.  It's cliche, it's a punchline, it's something we exclaim when we're upset, whatever...  He really doesn't even try to play help D.  He sticks his arms out, but his shoes instantly become concrete buckets.  Honestly, how hard would it be to teach a grown man to anticipate help and slide over two feet?  It would save us 10 points a game minimum if he would do that.

2. Deron Williams has handles.  His round the back pass to himself on the 3-2 break was pretty awesome.5.  

3. I think one of the problems tonight is that DW had so many points in the first half that (and stll have double-digit assists) I would rather have him get 18 assists and 18 points and get Boozer, AK, Memo more shots.

4. Fes needs to play.  He's enormous.  He's aggressive.  He's fearless.  He's responsible.  I don't understand not playing him against large opponents.

5. Maynor is the best backup PG we've had since Howard Eisley.

6. The lights out intro ROCKS!!!!  Awesome sound.

7.  Jazz dancers are attractive from Section 20, Row 21 minus my glasses.  Take what you want from that comment.

8.  There are many  18-35 yr-old females who are there to see only one player play, and he shot poorly tonight, granted after a long absence.

9.  Right before the final shot, Bear came out in a Kilt, Braveheart facepaint, a sword and shield impersonating the "Are you ready for a war?" speech in Braveheart.  It was very cool.  Then Deron missed a three and we all went home.

10. Jerry seems to be mailing it in.  SEEMS, I said.  Who knows what is said in timeouts, locker room, late night text messages... But all I know is that he is content to watch a 2-18 run without calling a timeout, getting a tech, changing the D, or subbing a spark plug.  It's pretty frustrating.  I'm fairly certain that he knows more about basketball than I do.  But I'm also pretty certain that if I were on the bench, I'd be getting tossed or my players would be getting benched or their players would be getting some nefarious blows to the lower abdomen...whatever it takes to win.  This isn't rec ball.

11. The usher from section 12 is a heartless b.  Wouldn't let me walk down and say hello to a pal I haven't seen in years.

12. Lots of money in the stands.

13.  I don't care how old you are, parachuting tacos will make you stand up and hold your arms out like you're at a Mardi Gras parade.

14.  I've been saving this one, so it's good that you are still reading because this is something that has been said before, but I'm telling you now I have seen it up close and personal with my own eyes:  MILLSAP IS BADDER THAN BEOWULF!  He is so much of a man I am honored to be the same gender.  He is a force, a beast, a basketball earthquake.  Without him, we would have lost by 10.  Key rebounds, blocks, aggressive offense.  Even after Boozer's many great games this year, I will go on record saying we wouldn't miss Boozer one bit if he left.  In fact, we'd probably be a better team.

We've all complained about the stupid things Boozer has said on the radio (and stupid is the best descriptor here), and it is easy to complain because we've all soured on him.  Here's the interview I think he should have given.  Feel free to add lines you'd like to have heard in comments.

SLCDunk:  Tell us why you opted in.

Boozer: I spent so much time on the sidelines this year that I had to be honest with myself about my value in the trade market.  Unfortunately, I'm not as attractive to teams right now as I was a year ago, so I'm going to have to go out and prove my true abilities this year and earn that next contract.

SLCDunk: But doesn't opting in cripple the Jazz in a way?  How can they sign Millsap now?

Boozer: Well, I hope the Miller family will decide to sign Millsap even if we have to pay the luxury tax.  They have been very generous with me, and Millsap is my teammate and friend, and for his sake I hope he can get a good contract.  It's not really my place to tell the Millers what to do with their money, but I will say this, success in this league is expensive, and I really believe that we have all the pieces here to be a strong team as long as we can all stay healthy.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen this year, but it could happen next year.  Would you want to play against a team that starts Boozer and then rests him with Millsap?  I think we both need to be on this team.  Millsap is growing into an elite player.  He's really pushing me right now, and that's good for our team.

SLCDunk:  Rumors would have you playing in Chicago or Miami.  If you were traded, where would you rather go?

Boozer:  Well, everyone knows I own a house in Miami, and I'm friends with D-Wade.  Derrick Rose is a great player, and Chicago is rising.  But I'd be a fool to want a trade.  I'm playing with the best point guard in the world, and he takes care of me.  Deron and I are close, and we have great chemistry on the court.  You could see that when we went to the Western Conference Finals a couple years ago.  When I roll, he puts the ball in my hands in a spot to score.  I'd be an ass if I wanted to be anywhere else.

SLCDunk: You've been widely criticized for your defense.  Why are you so explosive on offense and so complacent on defense? (As long as I'm imagining this interview, I like to imagine questions that a) don't suck up, and b) don't have obvious answers.)

Boozer: Honestly, I've been asking myself the same question.  I really don't have a good reason or excuse.  Coach Sloan has talked with me and tried to teach me more about it.  Really, it all boils down to commitment and I think I'm there now.  Our whole team is getting committed to defense from Deron down to Jarron all of us want to be the toughest defensive team.  When I first got here, Sloan stressed physicality and so I just fouled a lot, but I'm realizing now that it's more than just hard fouls...it's about moving your feet and talking...we're working on all that, and I am committed to that.

SLCDunk: What are your expectations for this year?

Boozer: I want to win a championship.  That would sound absurd if the rumors about wanting to go to Chicago or Miami were true.  We've got all the pieces here: Deron, Coach, Memo... Brewer is really getting tough on both ends of the floor...I think Fes and Koof are going to make us proud this year.  I think we're a stronger team than we were two years ago.  If we can stay healthy, we'll be one of the top two teams in the West.  If we can get into the WCF, I'll make sure we come out of it with at least four more games to play.  I'm committed to that.  I've worked hard to get my body healthy and ready.  A lot of people have talked about maybe Paul being the starter next year.  I love Paul, and he deserves it, but I'm working hard to make sure Coach wants me on the floor.  I know Paul is working hard too.  Kyle's working hard.  Memo and AK are working hard.  We're going to be the toughest team in the league next year, I know that for sure.

SLCDunk:  Do you think the Millers will pay the luxury tax?

Boozer: You get what you pay for, right?

SLCDunk:  Is there anything else you'd like to say to the public?

Boozer: go Saints!  Drew Brees is the greatest thing since  overtime!  Who DAT!

1. Sending Boozer to Miami will make him happy and he will play well.  As a fan of the game, I want to see Boozer making post defenders look helpless.  I love his post game so much - the spins, the lefty scoops and dunks, the baseline fading J....that's all good basketball and I am happy to watch it.

2. And if he plays well, we don't want him anywhere near a Western Conference team.

3. Keeping him in Miami will keep Dwayne Wade in Miami.

4.  Keeping Dwayne Wade in Miami will entice Lamar Odom out of LA, which will weaken LA in two ways, 1) no Lamar Odom, 2) No calming presence for Artest.  Artest has behaved admirably the past couple years, but he's a nutcase and a time bomb.  The papers say Odom is pals with Artest and that would be good for the locker room.  I want LA's locker room to be as chaotic as a 3rd world revolution, and losing Odom to the Heat could do that.

5. If we don't get Tyrus Thomas, I don't especially care who we get.   No matter who they are, they will be an upgrade over Harpring and Collins, so no matter what, we'll be better than last year.  And as others have pointed out, the most important thing about a Boozer trade is simply trading Boozer.  He needs out; we need him out.  So it might as well be to Miami.

6. Booze and Odom to Miami suddenly make the Heat a contender.  The East could be tough with Atlanta growing up, Boston holding on and Cleveland playing like hungry Pit Bulls.  Miami is closer to contending with these folks than Chicago+Boozer.  Derrick Rose is a beast, but giving him Booze is not the same as giving Wade a 20/10 guy.  That's like giving a teenager the keys to a new car vs. giving Danica Patrick the keys to a new car.

ARGGHHHH WHO CARES, JUST TRADE HIM ALREADY!!!!!  i want to see Deron do some back flips for something other than charity!  lol

There once was a Jazzman named Boozer

Whose rhetoric was a confuser:

"I'll get raised irregardless"

When the market said "far less."

He was traded and labeled a loser.

There once was an agent called Uncle

Whose negotiating strategy stunkle.

To drive up the bargain

He claimed the client liked Aregon

And now he'll get 10% of the bundle.

When Maynor was drafted his Mom cried,

Tears of joy, said she, although she lied.

Why oh why to Salt Lake?

Where rooks don't get a break

And they won't, until J-Slow has died.

Deron the PG was one cool cat.

During all of the drama of summer he sat

and used jedi mind tricks

to cause KOC's picks.

He's in charge of this team and that's that.

CJ got paid like a fat cat

Then he learned it was meant as a contract!

"You're expected to work

And defend (even if it hurts)

Take a charge, take a foul, make some contact!

 A giant, last name of Fesenko,

was an athlete with tons of talento.

Sloan tried to be patient

'Til Fes made free agent,

And then finally decided to let go.

There's a Buckeye known here as The Koof

Whose ceiling is sky since his floor is the roof,

As soon as Sloan plays him

And management pays him

The league will know he is the Troof!

(I better quit on that one.  Submit your own in comments.  I promise to keep my red pen in the drawer where it's been all Summer.)

I don't think we're going to get a starter for bamBoozler.  

If we're lucky, we'll get a fire starter off the bench, like the yet-underused Ronaldo Price.  If we follow our tradition, we'll get a Devin Brown-type of player: at best, serviceable; at worst, Devin Brown.  At this point, the likelihood of getting a game-changer is slimmer than AK.  Cue coach Norman Dale:

"This is your team.  I would hope you would support who we are. Not, who we are not. These six individuals have made a choice to work, a choice to sacrifice, to put themselves on the line 23 nights for the next 4 months, to represent you, this high school. That kind of commitment and effort deserves and demands your respect. This is your team."

 
 
This is your team, for the most part:

The Players: Deron Williams, Ronaldo Brewer, Andrei Kirilenko, Paul Millsap, Mehmet Okur.

The Contributors: Kyle Korver, CJ Miles, El Koofador (AKA Le Coif), Trade Remnants (I'm guessing it will be Haslem)

The Backups: Price, Maynor, Fesenko.

And Change: Harpring?  Who else?

My friends, it's not exactly the '88 Dodgers.  In fact, it looks an awful lot like the 2008-2009 Utah Jazz.

So what do we hope, and what do we expect?  Absent some vintage KOC double-deal hustling, I expect a hard-fought Sloan-like season, a middling playoff berth and 2nd round exit.  Deron might get his All-Star nod finally, and we will celebrate that.  Meh.  But here's what I hope:

I hope AK finds his way.  Maybe it's a matter of giving him time at the 4.  Maybe it's a matter of him just taking it all personally and exploding with a second career breakout year (has that ever happened in the league?).  Maybe Sloan makes him a captain and gives him some responsibility to lead again.  Whatever it takes, I hope he gets five 5-for-5's.  I hope he averages 2.5 blocks.  I hope he shoots jumpers unconsciously.   And I hope every game involves him running down a fast break, pinning it on the board, making the outlet, running the floor and getting his (Masha-style).  

I hope Memo and Deron become best friends.  I hope they work the Pick and Roll to Jazz standards.  I hope defenders feel helpless when they see it coming because they don't know if Memo will pop, slip or roll, or if Deron will drop, keep, split, shoot or swing.  I want to see Memo and Deron talking on their way to every huddle and talking on their way out of every huddle.  A reporter once asked Malone how he and Stock developed the 'unspoken' chemistry that enabled them to run the pick and roll so many many times without defenders knowing exactly which way they'd run it.  Malone answered that they talked it out whenever there was a timeout.  They would say, "I'll slip this time" or "keep it" or whatever.   I think Memo has got to become Deron's main man in the half court.  We saw them run it so well during injury season two years ago that Memo got an all-star invite. 

I hope Millsap punches Ron Artest and stands over him until six people pull him away.  He will get suspended for a couple of games, and then he'll get every rebound within 20 feet for the rest of the year.  The story of the offseason is that Millsap is the one who got Boozer's "raise regardless"; now he needs to earn it.  I think he's lived his life working hard (unlike, for example, my impression of CJ), so I don't think the money will change that.  But he's got to look at it as earning next week's paycheck, not getting paid for last year's hard work.  He's got to be mean, brutal, pissed, and fierce.  I want him to lose his cool a time or two early on just to put the rest of the league on warning.  He's tenured now, and he doesn't have to be nice.

I want Ronnie Brewer to learn to shoot lefty.  I hope he can still go roughly unnoticed down on the baseline.  If he gets hot for only one game this year, I hope it's against Kobe.  I hope he can raise his free throw percentage  by 10 points, so that slashing to the basket can have a variety of happy endings.  I hope he improves as much this season as he did in the last.

I want Kover to become Manny Ramirez - just shoot and shoot and shoot.  I think his percentage will go up if he is unconscious, which is hard to do with Sloan watching every shot.  But Korver has to shoot like it's a pop-a-shot and time is running out.  Just get it up in the air.  I think this last year he wanted to earn his keep playing D for Sloan.  It's true that we were all surprised by his handful of blocked shots, decent coverage on some nights, especially considering that in real life he's probably about as tough as his hairstylist.  But I don't want him earning his PT on D.  We hired him to hit 3's and frees.  That's where his focus (or zen-like unfocus!) needs to be.

I want Miles to say, "Screw this Sloan crap - I'm a star!" and start putting the rock in his pocket and taking it to the rim.  Get to the line.  Draw the defense in.  Get some respect.  Represent.  Make it hard for coach to play Korver at all.  And I hope CJ gets high one night and has some great awakening about playing defense.  He's an athletic sob with nice long arms and a decent pair of legs.  He ought to be able to stay in front of anybody.  He ought to be able to get some of those weak-side/blind-side blocks that AK used to do all the time.  He ought to be able to take some honest charges by beating his man to the spot.  He needs to earn his time with defense.

I want the scrubs to play solid, foul like crazy (more rest for the weary), and make us say, "nice, it's price" or "Maynor Maynor Chicken Dinner" (okay, we'll have to work on that one).

I hope Fesenko grows up and asks himself this question: "How is it possible for opponents to score when I'm on the floor?" and answers, "It isn't possible, because I am enormous and irritable."  I really don't think it's more complicated than this.

I hope Harpring moves into my neighborhood and wants to play catch (baseball) until our wives call us in for dinner.

I hope the Koof goes easy on his opponents, just to make it interesting.

Finally, I hope Deron Wiliams dunks on Carlos Boozer.  I hope he dunks on Brandon Roy, pulls the ball through the net and tosses it to him.  I hope Deron Williams dunks on f@#$ing Garnett and then quietly gets back on D as if it's routine.  I hope Deron puts Chris Paul on the ground with a Barry Sanders twitch of his shoulder.  I hope he puts his crossover-jumpback on Steve Nash/J-Kidd/Billups and pauses before shooting his J to give them a dirty look as they stumble back.  I want D-will to tell Sloan which play we're running out of the timeout.  I want D-will to headbutt Derrick Rose.  I want him to ignore the likes of Conley, Iverson, Jarrett Jack, and OJ Mayo.  I want him to average 25/12.  And then I want him to decline his invitation to the All-Star game. 

I really thought we had all the pieces last year, and then the injuries started, and then the chemistry failed.  So now we're us-minus-Carlos.  Does that make us better?  Can chemistry alone put us over the hump?  It will have to, because whoever we get for Boozer isn't going to.

This is your team, pretty much.

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It is objected that THE KOOF does not exist, and that he is a lesser being than Chuck Norris himself.  I answer that it can be proved in five ways that he does exist, nor is he lesser than Chuck Norris.

The first and plainest proof is the method that proceeds from the point of view of motion.   Now, everything that is moved is moved by something.  Everything, therefore, is moved by something else. If, then, that by which it is moved, is also moved, this must be moved by something still different, and this, again, by something else. But this process cannot go on to infinity because there would not be any first mover.  Therefore it is necessary to go back to some first mover, which is itself moved by nothing---and this all men know as “The Koof.”

The second proof is from the nature of the efficient cause. We find in our experience that there is a chain of causes.  In the case of efficient causes the chain can not go back indefinitely, because in all chains of efficient causes, the first is the cause of the middle, and these of the last, whether they be one or many. If the cause is removed, the effect is removed. Hence we must presuppose some first efficient cause---which all call “The Koof.”

The third proof is taken from the natures of the merely possible and necessary. We find that certain things either may or may not exist, since they are found to come into being and be destroyed, and in consequence potentially, either existent or non-existent. If then nothing existed, it would be impossible for anything to begin, and there would now be nothing existing, which is admittedly false. Hence not all things are mere accidents, but there must be one necessarily existing being---which all call “The Koof.”

The fourth proof arises from the degrees that are found in things. For there is found a greater and a less degree of goodness, truth, nobility, hustle, grit, toughness, piss and vinegar, and the like. There exists therefore something that is the truest, and best, and most noble, and most hustling, gritty, tough, etc., and in consequence, the greatest being ---and this we call, you guessed it, “The Koof.”

The fifth proof arises from the ordering of things, for we see that some things which lack reason, such as the team, are operated in accordance with a plan. It appears from this that they are operated always as they follow what is the Highest; whence it is clear that they do not arrive at the result by chance but because of a purpose, known as “Jerry’s system.” The things, moreover, that do not have intelligence do not tend toward open shots unless directed by some one knowing and intelligent; just as an arrow is sent by an archer. Therefore there is something intelligent by which all natural things are arranged in accordance with Jerry’s System---and this we do not call “Jerry,” as one might think.  In fact, this we do call, always and forever, “The Koof.”

<!--EndFragment-->

Given his approach to free agency, it would appear that KOC has never grown out of his shy boy style.

Kiss the Girl - The Little Mermaid - Kiss de Girl - Lyrics (via DisneyFanattic)

Well, Kevin, LISTEN to the crustacean!  Cue the Monday Night Football music!  You can do it water boy!  GO GET US A BIG NAME NEXT SUMMER!   If we're screwed this year, then let's make a push at the summer of everyone but LeBron.  They can't all play for NYC and LA!  You're a handsome studmuffin, K.   Go on and kiss the free agents' agents.

Have you ever gone crazy looking for a pencil?  I know I just had it...  I just used it for heaven's sakes! ...It's not on the floor....hmmmm.... where...dammit.... I know I just... oh.  Here it is, in my hand the whole time!

Is the answer to our championship just that obvious, and yet none of us has mentioned it here?  Is there a 300 pound elephant in the room (up for a trade, that is), and nobody will say anything?

Aren't the Suns ready to trade Shaq?  

And wouldn't he provide the post presence, veteran presence, and toughness so lacking in our team?  Don't you think DWill would like having him around, for both professional and social reasons?  Can you imagine how a roving AK would be rejuvenated with so much attention on Shaq?  And how it would open up Korver?  And how much trash Millsap could pick up with bodies all over Shaq?  And - now that I think about it, because believe me, I've never thought about it until just now (reading in ESPN.com that Steve Kerr might want to draft Big Blair) - wouldn't Shaq fit perfectly in Sloan's half-court O?  I don't mean for high pick and roll, that's what Memo can do.  But for the 4-high set, he's a fine passer; for the screens on the low block and in the paint in the flex O, he'd be brutal.  Granted, we are running more with DWIll, but not like Phoenix did.  But the Phoenix experiment showed that there's more in his tank than anybody thought when he was on his way to Phoenix.

Now, first of all - I don't know how to figure all the numbers like many of you do.  So someone will have to check that out.  Also, I'm not an idiot.  I know Shaq is past his prime, getting old, much less dominant.  I also know that I've hated him for most of his career, even when I watched him live for an LSU game in the Superdome (but, really, I've hated the refs that allowed him to play like a giant fullback instead of like a normal basketball center his whole career - especially in the finals against Allen Iverson 10 years ago....arghh).

But I also know he's still enormous; he's still got an ego big enough to drive him to work hard and play tough; and he wouldn't be our only hope - he'd be just icing on a pretty good cake.  And I don't hate him nearly as much as I hate T-Mac.  In his old age, Shaq is kind of likable.  I think he'd go for it (why not?), and I think he could fit in Boozer's place (Memo can play around him, as can AK, Sap).  He would eat Pau Gasol like a hot pocket.  He would make SLC turn all hip-hop.  He would have some hilarious hijinx with Bear.  He would set the Koof back a year of PT, but help him tremendously in practice.

And he would probably miss free throws Karl-style in the Finals.  But at least we'd be in the finals.

I submit this idea for your consideration.  Why not, I say.

(OMG!  I just realized that this trade would make Collins COMPLETELY expendable!  Genius!  A sure thing.  Go Go Go!)

So our team is out and we have to watch the others.  Is there any finals match-up you wouldn't watch?  What are you looking for in the finals: head-to-head superstar match-ups?  Coaching match-ups?  Team rivalries?  Is there somebody you want in it just to see them lose and be demoralized?  Do you want a feel good story?  What is driving your decision?  What is your prediction?

Vote and explain your answers.

I think I've solved something big here.  Follow me.

We know that Brewer is a hard worker.  We know that Hank Gathers (and later Bo Kimble, to honor Gathers) taught himself to shoot free throws left-handed well enough to prefer it over his right-handed free throws.  We know that no amount of late-night gym work is going to repair Brewer's right elbow.  And we know that if he headed the ball from 17 feet, or if he hacky-sacked it from 17 feet, or if he spun it on his index finger and then punched it from 17 feet like Curly Neal, that it would be roughly the same percentage shot he's getting with his jumper as presently constituted.

So why not spend the summer learning to jumpshoot lefty?  

(In a recent comment I made on someone's post about 15 minutes ago, I claimed - in the context of discussing Boozer v. Millsap - that it takes a lifetime to develop your off hand.  In the name of optimism, I rescind that comment.)

The jumpshot is beginning to look like Brewer's only weakness, and really that's only a problem when we play jerks like Kobe who taunt Brewer over it.  Oh can you imagine how sweet it would be to see Kobe drift off of Brewer in their first game next year and then see Brewer drop a lefty jumper on him... and then wink at him.... and then  say something like, "how do you like those apples, b*tch."  

(Sorry for the language BBJ.  I promise, no more.  And now that I re-read it, it sounds more like something Fes would say.  But you all get the idea.)

Seriously, if you're Brewer, what have you got to lose?  I think what he's got isn't going to get any better no matter the reps.  I think it wouldn't change his shooting percentage at all.  I think if he actually pulled it off, I would take all my money to Vegas and put it on the Jazz.

My next best suggestion for RB goes off of the Rick Barry precedent, but I can't really envision an underhanded granny jumper being an effective shot in today's NBA.  I'd still like to see it though.

Pre-season expectations were higher than ever for the post-stockton-to-malone years.  With each setback, we just kept waiting and waiting for each piece to be on the floor at the same time.  When it finally happened, we went on a winning streak that kept us all thinking coach of the year for Sloan, a top 3 seeding, and a good chance at making the WCF with a little more experience and firepower than we had two years ago.  Sunny sunny days.

A close loss in Atlanta precipitated a late season unraveling we didn't really see coming.  In retrospect, the signs were all around us, and that's been our blog-fodder for the last few weeks.  The poll here is meant to identify the nail in our coffin with the benefit of hindsight.  At what point in the season were we no longer meant to be the WCF champions?

Vote. Comment.

<!--StartFragment-->

Matt Harpring’s ‘Back to Fundamentals’ basketball camp brochure reads: “We will concentrate on getting every camper better regardless of his/her talents coming into the camp. Campers will be taught the “right way” to play the game of basketball.  My one desired goal is to pass on the unique knowledge I have gained from playing for coaches Ron Bell, Bobby Cremins, Chuck Daly, Doc Rivers, Randy Wittman, Larry Brown, and Jerry Sloan.”

I think that’s a pretty good summary of Harpring: ‘fundamentals,’ ‘concentrate,’ ‘regardless of talent,’ ‘right way’… Harpring is the player who most fascinated me during my brief stint as a high school coach (does that count as a high school memory?) because he is all fundamentals, smarts, toughness, effort – exactly what every coach wants in a player.  I love watching him on the baseline when he sets up his man, heads up towards the screens on either side of the key, reads his defender’s chase to either curl in for a free throw jumper, or fade out for a 17-footer from free-throw-line-extended.  (Korver gets this call a lot too.)  This play is not about being the fastest, quickest, or strongest, it’s about smarts and execution.  If executed properly, it’s an open shot (to make or miss) no matter what, and that is – and I think Sloan would agree – what is meant by “the right way to play the game of basketball.”  We see his toughness on the other end of the court when he plays defense and gets rebounds with his hips.  It’s not pretty, and the pretty-boys hate it (Carmelo, esp.), but that kind of defense is fundamental basketball too.

But he’s aging quickly.  He’s 33 now.  Surviving the NBA into your 30s is an aberration, not the rule, and those who do either have some freakish skill to keep them valuable (drop-dead 3s, for example) or they have freakish size (7’+), or they were a superstar to begin with and in their mid-30s they regress to mere “very good” status (Jordan, Malone, Stockton, Jabaar, etc.)  Harpring’s hard work and hustle made him an overachiever in his younger years, so his descent is from useful journeyman to extremely awesome rec-league baller.  By age 40, he’ll be on church ball levels.  Moreover, since Harpring’s game relies so heavily on physicality, his body has taken a toll over the years.  And this season, it showed.

Offseason ankle surgery to remove a bone spur turned to an infection and unexpected delays in rehabbing and returning to form.  Like many of the injured Jazzmen this season, he showed flashes of contract-extension-worthy performances (the Hawks game, for example, when he endured a flagrant 2 from Josh Smith and then scored 15 points).  But much of the season was spent in unfamiliar territory: little playing time (his first DNPs in seasons), missed layups, missed jumpers off that curl play I love so much, and losing races to rebounds.  His role from now on, no matter the year, no matter the team, is to be a veteran presence in the locker room giving maybe 10 minutes of game time rest to younger beasts.  He will have games where his presence is important – getting into the heads of Carmelos, and others like him.  But he needs to be grateful for every dollar he is paid to dress.  Another injury or surgery could mean the end of his playing days.  He needs to begin to think about coaching, scouting, management or….full-time fatherhood.

I once read that the reason everybody hated JJ Reddick at Duke was because he was just like all of us, a 6’2”-ish white guy who wasn’t super fast or super strong….but lived this dream-life where he got to shoot 3’s all day for Duke.  Pure jealousy was the root of the hatred.  I think Harpring has that same kind of Everyman quality about him.  He could be our brother, our pal from high school, or our neighbor.  (You would never feel that way about Karl Malone.)  But instead of jealousy, you have to like the guy.

More than once this year I got angry at a Harpring missed layup.  But you can’t begrudge his effort, dedication, locker-room presence, attitude, etc.  Harpring is our team’s ’87 Honda Civic that just doesn’t have anything left to give.  If another big repair comes due, it will be more prudent to let him go, but not without our admiration and appreciation.

<!--EndFragment-->

Let's suppose the Jazz don't win the championship this year, and let's suppose that Jerry takes ownership for that (given that this is one of his most talented teams ever) and he decides to hang up the ol' f-word-laden tirades in favor of long afternoons on the tractor.

Who do we want sitting next to Briggs?

Poll.  Comments.

(This post has to be at least 75 words, so I'm trying to fill up here.)

8.  Secretary of the Treasury - since the economy is tanking worse than the Cavs before the Lebron draft, Barack could use one of those "savvy vets" whose presence is good for the younger guys, but isn't going to make a difference in the W-L column.

7.  Ice Cream Man - he does not look like a pedophile, so I would allow my children to approach his ice cream truck.  At 7', he can reach back into the back of the truck for orange push-up pops and then hand them down to the children without ever leaving the driver's seat.  He'd be the MVP of Ice Cream Men.

6.  Assistant Coach in Orlando - if D-Ho (worst nickname ever) practiced against Flop every day, he would learn how to sense the flop, how to avoid it, and thereby become the most dominant post player of all time.  Imagine Shaq with a hook and no offensive fouls...

5.  Farmhand at Sloan's place in MacLeansboro - for reasons I still don't understand, Sloan really likes Collins' work.  I'm sure there are lots of chores he could do around the farm, and presumably Sloan would be there too...all year...

4.  Replace Boler - again, like #8, this is in the "couldn't be any worse" category.

3. Stanford recruiter   changed my mind since none of those students know who he is.

2. Consultant to NBA Referee Operations Department - he could just sit in a video room with officials-in-training all day watching clips and saying, "foul... foul... flop... flop... flop.... foul...."  I think the league needs him.

1. Replace Jesus - now, what I mean here is not the actual Jesus, but the term "Jesus."  For example, if I hit my thumb with a hammer, I might exclaim, "Jerron H. Collins!"   It's rather satisfying and there's no risk of blasphemy.  Much like the other JC, flop has always practiced a "turn-the-other-cheek/non-violence" approach to defense....