via t3.gstatic.com

The anticipation is killing you! Fortunately, I'm a psychic and these things come natural to me. Would you like to know what the Chargers plan to do today? I will tell you.

The Chargers will trade their 1st and 3rd to the Buffalo Bills in order to draft Mark Barron.

The Chargers will trade their 2nd round pick to the New York Giants for Osi Umenyiora.

A.J. Smith will consider leveraging 2013 picks to gain a 2nd this year. This cannot be predicted, for the chances of this happening depend upon a bounty of scenarios. The most obvious scenario is one where the Redskins trade their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd rounders to the New England Patriots for Tim Brady.

This is important to the Chargers. If the Patriots follow through with this scenario, the Chargers will probably go after Keyshawn Johnson with their newly acquired 2nd.

Please insert the name of the player(s) you believe will be taken in the 1st round. I will use it to prove your ignorance in the future.

So The last time I really spilled the beans, I was drinking and we were in a playoff race.  Want me to provide a link? No.  I'm drinking...I was hoping one of you would do that.  Let me ask you a question.... Is it bad that I really want to write you a fanpost when I'm drinking?  Personally, I think it's a loaded question.  I should really be able to offer you so some insight without the alcohol induced state of mind but...really... It  helps me spit it out.  Does that make me an alcoholic? I really hope not.  So let's go....

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After consecutive 4 hit games I find myself crushing on Cam like no player since maybe...Griffey?  Let's talk about it.  I'm intervening myself with all of you before this becomes serious.  The dude looks like an athlete and, in baseball especially, you can't always say that.  He comes across in interviews like he's intelligent but that doesn't make him soft. He still knows how to stick it to the man.  Panda Express is just frozen chocolate milk waiting to thaw in your small intestines.  Cam isn't too shy to tell you that.  Cam was really looking out for you.  

You know what's really bad ass about Cameron Maybin?  I guarantee he's the best player the Padres have at any sport you put him in.  I give you the Mad_Villain guarantee:  Cam Maybin is better than Will Venable at baseball and basketball.  

You know what else is super bad ass about Cameron Maybin?  No batting gloves.  

via d.yimg.com

That's the shit.  You know who that looks like??? I DUNNO, VLADIMIR GUERRERO ANYBODY???  Y'all ignant.

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• I should have just stayed home from work today.  Instead I'm working a half day.  The benefits include saving vacation time, killing time, and actually being allowed into the stadium at 2:00pm.  I may otherwise be too inebriated.
• Multiple coworkers seem to be going to the game today, as well.  I don't work with many baseball fans.  Matter of fact, that's a big reason I hang out with you "virtual fans."  I'm encouraged by the amount of non-fans going but I'm discouraged by the chances of sitting by someone asking, "Where's Adrian?  This team will never win...Who's gonna pitch to Barry Bonds?"
• Do you realize how hard it's going to be to get a table at Tilted Kilt today?  I don't even know how to try getting a table.  Is it worth the wait just to get a table for a beer and an exhibition of daddy problems?  This is supposed to be about baseball.
• Will Venable is off to a good start but I think he'd be off to a better start if he called himself "Billy Venable."

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via bloglyrics.net

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after … wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

Start Some Random Rapper
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

End Some Random Rapper
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

So I just stumbled across this article about Jorge Cantu and his bounce-back campaign in 2011.  I like Cantu and I like the acquisition, assuming that he can be the insurance, and/or RBI machine we need.  If the NL is about bench and bullpen he's the kind of bench you want...right?  Well that's when reading this story got me a little concerned.  

"You’re expecting to play and all of a sudden you’re not playing," Cantu said. "That left a little sour taste."

I expect Cantu to be a professional and accept his role as a veteran on the bench who will get plenty of playing time.  My concern is that he will tire of it down the stretch.  I know I'm no authority on the psyche of a pro but I remember what it felt like to go from a starter to bench player in high school ball.  Once you see someone else struggle, you expect to get back in there.  When you don't get back in, you start to resent your coaches for not recognizing your ability.  Cantu knows he's good and he knows the way he can produce.  

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

"As long as I get those at bats, that’s the most important part. I’ve been an RBI man for the past three years and don’t have any plans to back off or stop it."

That just doesn't sound like a guy who is ready to take a back seat.  That could be a good thing, maybe he takes ownership of the offense and becomes a pivotal leader, a la Jerry Hairston Jr....only, there's also the chance that it doesn't work out that way.  After all, Hairston only got that opportunity due to injuries.  And, although they're likely to happen, he can't just be hoping for them.

Now with the Padres, Cantu is ready to get at bats wherever manager Bud Black plays him. He is expected to see playing time at first, second and third base.

If Cantu has any sort of success this year in his role off the bench but guys like Aaron Cunningham or Eric Patterson do too, I figure him to be the odd man out come the trading deadline.  He will be the chip that gets us whatever piece we need to make our run.

When you're squirming into first and you feel that sphincter burst,
you ate Panda, you ate Panda.

When you're diving into second and you feel that anal wreckage,

You ate Panda, you ate Panda.

When you're sliding into third and you feel a liquid turd,

You ate Panda, you ate Panda.

When your stat sheets don't have runs cause the status on your shit is runs,

You ate Panda, You ate Panda. 

When you aint mashin balls, cause you're working Hershey Falls,

You ate Panda, You ate Panda.

When you're missing time on the hump, cause you've got the Whistle Belly Thump,

You ate Panda, You ate Panda.

If your name is Brian Wilson,

You ate Panda, You are Panda.

If your pitching to some batters and you get the Green Apple Splatters,

You are Panda, You ate Panda.

You know what to do.........

Because of financials, the Padres' Top Men find themselves busy fielding a competitive team on a low (if not lowest) payroll heading into 2011.  $25 million is a lot of money and there are a lot of different ways to spend it.  I, for one, would use it to buy 100 million quarters so I can test my accuracy.  We know Adrian is gone.  That isn't changing.  Depending on who you talk to, we got a good return.  Only time will truly tell.  What we don't know is how $25 million added to our payroll would have reflected in our starting lineup. 

I'd like to take a look at what $25 million could have snagged us in free agency up to this point.  I don't know the small print to all the contracts signed so let's not get too caught up in the details?

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As a kid I was a purveyor of fine baseball cards.  As a kid I also enjoyed skimming through my cards, grabbing 15 randoms, 9 hitters, 5 starters, and 1 closer, that I could use to make a team.  Kind of like fantasy baseball for a 9 year old.  I would pick each player's best season and imagine the season they would put together as a team.  There was no point to it but it did make me aware of more obscure players than many adults at the time could even name.  For example, you wouldn't mess around with my under-the-radar MVP, John Jaha.

Today, I bring you the San Diego Padres 2011 Best Season Evar.  A season in which every player has a career year and provides every San Francisco Giant fan with a humbling brown and golden shower....

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If you check Websters dictionary for the definition of 2010 Padres it will read; team of scrubs that nobody wanted.  You would think they spend their spare time loitering outside of 7-11 asking for change.  You'd probably hear they're bottom feeders that had more business getting in bum fights with Pirates than playing bochi ball with the MLB elite.  As is true with any group of bad dudes, if you hang with them long enough, they're bound to get you high.  And boy did they get us high.  Let's just say that if you're afraid of heights then the 2010 Padres were not your team.  These Padres are bad dudes.  They blasted their seed into the belly of the ESPN's daughter saying, "You don't like us, but you're stuck with us now."

Unfortunately, that high wouldn't last.  162 games into a journey to the World Series, we were left with a sobering reality....Time to go to rehab and play General Manager for the next 6 months.  So....let's...

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So I just got in a mother fcuking argument with my wife and I'm watching a mother fcuking Giant's game.  The Padres are winning but I'm reminiscing about a great mother fcuking season.  I can't take this.  I hate the mother fcuking Giants, I love this mother fcuking wine, I love me some mother fcuking wins and I don't feel like I can gets me enough.  Look, I work for a living.  I work really fcuking hard.  I'm talking 50-60 hours a week, then come home to a wife and daughter (beautiful)....(bothem')  and all I want is some baseball that represents me.  Here we are.  I'm rambling on like a mother fcuking drunk....not because I've been drinking, only because I've drank 2 bottles of wine.  I need a mother fcking win.  I need a mother fcuking season to represent my life.  I play baseball.  I know how this shit goes.  I go 2-5 and I dwell on it for a week.  I miss a ball in the gap.  A ball I run down and just miss, I'm talkin' my laces were on it, and I dream about it for a week.  I know baseball.   Baseball represents who all of us are.  I wanted to go to the TG statue for the meet up but I was with my pops-in-law 15 rows behind home plate.  I couldn't leave.  Deno hit that double and I went nuts.... MOTHER FCUKING NUTS.  This is what makes us feel nuts.  I feel mother fcuking nuts.  I love baseball.  Padres, look what you've done.  We need this.  Just play hard.  Don't give up.  Baseball is 6 months of agonizing work, it tests the deepest parts of our souls and for some reason, we laugh.  Give it everything you've got.  Make us proud.  This has been the best season evar and I'm so mother fcuking proud to be a mother fcuking Padres fan.  WIN IT ALL OR WIN IT ALL LATER.  I just love the Padres.  You know what I mean, right?  This all made sense, right? AMEN.