SB Nation User Blog: Maharg

DBD 04.09.09 3 Day Weeks and Fantasy Baseball

Maharg — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 06:55:45 -0000

I used to be like all of you. A sucker working a day job, coming into the office while the sun was rising and leaving when it came down. Rinse and repeat 5 days a week. But then I realized something: 5 days a week is for suckers. That's why last week I only worked 3 days. And this week I only worked 3 days. Never again should anyone have to work Thursday or Friday. It helped that last weekend I was going to DC to see GWU Law and this weekend I'm going to New Orleans to give a talk about hippies. It also helps that I had vacation time to spare and that my boss is totally cool with me not being around, but all of that is beyond the point. 3 day weeks. It's the wave of the future, get on board while the getting's good. Except you Spazzy, we need a 5 day a week Welcome Sherriff. Four years from now, when 3 day weeks are the gold standard, you'll be able to tell your children (I'm looking at you Carp, congratulations BTW) about the origins of 3 day work weeks. You'll also have to apologize to them for the origins of HONK.

In other news (Fantasy Baseball news). The draft didn't move, it's still tonight at 7. For some reason Yahoo hates me, and won't let me change the draft today, it will only let me push the draft to Friday or later. Well screw you Yahoo, I'll just autodraft my team. I've already autodrafted in my keeper league, why not the CGB league too.

In my absence, I want all of you to talk a lot of shit. I don't mean "Hey, that pick sucked." I mean, "Hey that pick sucked more than your indeterminate blood relation who may or may not still be alive." I think that everyone aside from B& Hammer-addicted zoonews can get on board with this shittalking platform. I'll miss you all, hopefully someone can relay the best fantasy draft insults to me when I get back from New Orleans. I expect yellowfever to bring his A game, because he's clearly been building up witty commentary and not giving us chats.

Finally, as you've already guessed, I won't be commenting in this DBD. That's right suckers, as a fringe benefit of my three day weeks, you get 4 days of Maharg free DBDs. Make me proud, it's a great sacrifice to miss the DBDs, but someone has to speak out against the treesitters at academic conferences. Dumpy Muff references FTW!

I know I said finally, but I have one more point. CGB tailgate before the spring game, let's make it happen.

Now bring me links. The less legitimate the better!!!!

Poll

What are your thoughts on this DBD?

What?

2 votes

No, seriously what is The Maharg thinking?

3 votes

This DBD is a B& Hammer worthy offense.

1 votes

Can someone delete this DBD and introduce one that's semi-decent?

2 votes

Where are the Settlers of Catan references?

5 votes

Everyone on this blog is now dumber for having read this. I award The Maharg no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.

4 votes

This DBD is also cursed. And there aren't even any sprinkles!

5 votes

I want CalBear81 to do the DBD from now on.

14 votes

36 votes | Poll has closed

CGB Fantasy Baseball

Maharg — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:53:58 -0000

I set up a fantasy baseball league for anyone interested. The information is below. Draft is next Tuesday (04/07/09) at 7:00 PM PST. If anyone has a problem with this time, let me know and we'll see if another day works.

The league is currently set for 14 managers, I can increase that to 20 if there is interest. I'm using the standard yahoo settings right now. I assume that people want Head to Head (more trash talk), any thoughts on maximum roster moves, how big we want playoffs, etc?

This is your spot to talk about how we want to set the league up, and what settings everybody wants.

League ID#:	287667
League Name:	California Golden Blogs
Password:	maharg
Custom League URL:	http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/cgb1

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

ESPN Gameday Signs Compiled

Maharg — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 22:07:34 -0000

TwistNHook: Thought I would front page this since the event is tomorrow. If anybody is going, please comment inside to help coordinate with the others.

I've pulled all the things that I saw getting multiple recs or that had a consensus to be included as comments here. If I missed anything, feel free to add it.

If you are going and want a sign, post a comment and if you want to call 'dibs' of some sort on a sign go ahead and make it clear. See the other post for instructions from God (danzig) on how to make a poster out of these on the cheap.

I just pulled the pictures that people wanted,the text ideas that people mentioned that are listed below:

"PUNTING IS WINNING"

NEUHEISAL PROMISED ME I’D BE THE PAC10 LEADING RECEIVER!

GANDHI WAS A CAL FAN…AND STILL GOT BANNED BY BRUINSNATION

UCLA's Going Down Like Lehman

UCLA USES BAILOUT MONEY ON REFS

REHIRE KARL DORRELL'S MUSTACHE

Every
Sports
Person thinks
Neuheisal is a douchebag.

The Maharg needs your help.

Maharg — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 16:59:33 -0000

I know, I know. You read the title of this and right now you're assuming that I'm in jail and need bail money, maybe I'm trying to invade another SBN site all alone, Twist is possibly holding my man boob and making strange noises, or maybe I've just fallen and I can't get up. You're all wrong.

The Maharg needs your help because he's going to contribute to society, and he's going to contribute the first weekend in April at an academic conference. The genre of my presentation protests, and naturally there's only one protest that I care(d) about in recent memory, the tree sitters. So I ask you, if you have any information or topics that you think would be good, or helpful or in any way relevant to a presentation on tree sitters, bring it here. The abstract of what I'll be presenting is below, and I've got a general idea of how it will go (5 minutes of general summary before I throw up a picture of Dumpster Muffin and let the audience bask in her glory for 10 minutes before 5 minutes of questions), but I want to make sure I hit some of the finer details of the events, like the discord between the sitters and the people on the ground towards the end when both were reaching agreements that the others weren't consulted on. I figure this is about as solid an audience as there will be, and once I have a finished presentation, I promise to share with all of you everything that's going on (except yellowfever, I refuse to let that guy see what I'm doing). So without further ado, here's what I'm doing:

“I Spent Two Years in a Tree and All We Got Was This Lousy Stadium: Obsolete Protests in Modern Berkeley.”

Abstract: Berkeley, CA, has a long history of colorful protests, the most recent being the “Save the Oaks” campaign involving the now infamous “Tree Sitters”. This group of people subsisted (or persisted) in living in multiple UC Berkley trees to protest any tree removal for the construction of a new Student Athlete High Performance Center (SAHPC). The activists coordinated multiple efforts with legal and governmental groups to prevent the SAHPC; for instance, the Berkley City Council collaborated with the “Tree Sitters” to slow, halt, or prevent breaking ground for the center. From 2006-2008, the issue sparked national interest as hundreds of people camped out and even staged a nude photo shoot to “save the oaks”. This paper analyzes media surrounding the issue, as well student and citizen opinions, about how the protest evolved to a shallow caricature of Berkeley’s historical reputation as a hub of social activism. Specifically, I look at the community and cultural rhetoric, as the protest started regionally and gained national coverage, recognition and involvement. This case study includes the celebrity of individuals who scaled the trees to attain loftier goals of honored protester status, or kick start careers as nationally credited protest correspondents.

I know, I sound a little stuck up, but that's because I am totally stuck up. If you've got thoughts, concerns, questions, suggestions, Nailed It!s, Honks, or notable comparisons between what I am doing and the actions of certain sports franchises in previous annual periods, leave 'em below. Hopefully at least a couple of you will have something decent to say. And if you read this far, Hi CBKWit!!!

CGB - Taglines in the Works

Maharg — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:18:52 -0000

I'm gonna be adding the taglines as individual comments, REC the ones you like the most, and if you have a new idea separate them out so people can vote accordingly. Bonus points for combining memes, negative points for things Twist likes.

Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Kill Flanders. Bon Appetit.

CougCenter Caption Contest!

Maharg — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:26:35 -0000

CougCenter Caption Contest!

My Trip to Wazzou, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Kevin Riley's Family

Maharg — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:06:05 -0000

Mine eyes have seen the glory of CougCenter, but until last saturday mine eyes had never seen the glory of Pullman, WA. After 5 hours, 1 speeding ticket (that may or may not have only been given because we're Cal fans and the trooper was a jealous curmudgen) and about a million miles of farmland, me and 3 friends reached Martin Stadium and started the adventure that would be known as the worst loss in Coug history.

via farm4.static.flickr.com (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

Who even has 55 mph speed limits anymore?

Honestly, the drive from Seattle to Pullman may be the most boring drive I've ever had, the highlight of the trip was stopping at Subway for lunch and getting to meet Kevin Riley's neighbors and hear about him growing up:

Kevin Riley's Neighbors Like Me!

Once we got to the stadium we walked around a bit to try and find any semblance of Cal tailgates, Cougars, or at the very least something that wasn't blasting terrible country music.

Cougar in training

IMG_5140.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo by Jonathan Cheng)

Unfortunately nothing like that was to be found and after everyone we asked pointed us to a different location we just wandered aimlessly yelling Go Bears at anyone who would listen. As it turned out, two of those people were Zach Follett's parents. I have to say it's slightly strange to have a conversation with someone who's son once threw a donut hole at you while hanging out with Chris Purtz. However, I knew that Follett was good people when his mom showed me a text message she'd sent to him that morning. Evidently the last time that Cal played in Pullman, Follett had a particularly nasty sack of Brink and when they stood up Follett started to walk away without realizing that Brink's shoe was stuck in the front of his helmet. Anyway, Zach's mom had ask Zach for a favor earlier that day:

"Zacharooni this time instead of the quarterback's shoe stuck in your helmet, make it his ass".(I may be wrong on the exact wording but this was the general sentiment)

IMG_0695

After meeting Follett's awesome parents, we decided that a tailgate was not readily accessible, but that Cal football players warming up were, and so we headed into Martin Stadium. The first thing I noticed was that it was actually pretty small, it only holds about 35k people. The second thing I noticed was Kevin Riley's brothers introducing themselves to me!!! Evidently we came into the stadium at about the same time that his entire family did, and they didn't know that his jersey was for sale yet. After explaining to them, where they could go to buy said jersey, I got a picture with them and then a picture with them Riley's sister as well. Kevin Riley's family is awesome, they were joking and laughing and didn't seem to mind that I have idealized their brother beyond human standards.

Before I scared them off and they took out a restraining order against me, my friends and I decided to head to our seats, but on the way, Riley's neighbors found us again and brought over the woman who made this all possible, Kevin Riley's mom!!! I got a picture of her and got to express my gratitude that she birthed a quality quarterback, and I think she was the first person who realized that there might be something wrong with me. TwistNHook has known all along how strange I am, but normal people just think I'm a regular fan. About this time, we realized that the teams were coming out to warmup.

It's been too long since I've seen this sight.

via farm4.static.flickr.com (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

We got a bunch of pictures of the team warming up, my friend Jonathon Cheng was using a real camera that ended up with some pretty quality pictures, those are available at his flickr sight here. Our seats were right behind the Cal bench, on the front row of the 30 yard line, so we got a great view of Cal warming up and got to hear some of the players talking as they got ready. For some reason half the time that I saw him, Riley wouldn't put his helmet on right.

via farm4.static.flickr.com (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

We got to see the team warm up, and there are some of those pictures in the flickr that I linked before if you want to see any of them. After some warm ups, both teams headed into the locker room and the Wazzou band started playing. I really really miss the Cal Band, naturally I miss the Cal fight songs and the uniforms, but the performance of Wazzou's band was just not up to the caliber. Maybe it that their steps weren't as high, maybe it was because I didn't get to hear them practicing on Kleeberger Field all week and butcher the songs that they would nail on Saturday, maybe it's because I can't admit anything that isn't from UC Berkeley is high quality, maybe we'll never know the reason.

Cal Band Great! Wazzou Band, not as Great.

via farm4.static.flickr.com (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

As the game was getting ready to kick off, we got to hear the players get pumped up for the game and watching each of their preparations was awesome, the lineme practiced their first couple of steps against each other, and Riley started pumping up the team. He walked up and down the sideline and showed how much he's wanted to lead this team, getting his teammates Riled up (pun very much intended). Right before the kick return team went out to start the game, the offense and return team was gathered right in front of our seats, and Riley started yelling to pump everyone up, "First play, first play, right now!". He repeated that about 4 times and each time the team got a little more energy. If you're reading this you already know, that first play of the game was an 80 yard break from Jahvid Best for a touchdown. Before the game, most of the Wazzou fans were amicable and had some good natured ribbing for us as Cal fans, but I have to say that the crowd really died quickly after the first two scores. People in our section would barely talk to us, with a couple of exceptions. There was one guy who decided that we were pure evil and anything the went wrong was blamed on us, for example a little girl walked in front of us and tripped a few feet past us, so he started yelling that we tripped her and it wasn't enough that we were winning we wanted to hurt small children too. Strange, but I guess those are the ideas you get when you live in Pullman.

There was also this kid sitting next to us, that realized he couldn't taunt us because we were better than him (we meaning both Cal as a football team and us as people), so he started talking about how American Football isn't as good as Canadian Football. Evidently 10 yards longer, 10 yards wider and only 3 downs makes for a better game. I asked him to name a good Canadian Football player and he stopped talking to me.

Canadian Football for life!!

IMG_0727

My friends and I were joking before the game that if we blew out Wazzou, they'd have to find some way to entertain the fans to make sure they stayed. We threw out some ideas like the shell game that they play on jumbotrons, and sure enough they obliged. You may want to take a note at what time they decided to employ the shell game.

It's totally in the middle one.

IMG_0765

Probably the funniest part of the game for me was how quickly the stadium, especially the student section emptied during the game. It started pretty full, but by about the third quarter the student section was almost completely empty. I understand that a blowout is not something you want to see your team go through, but by the end of the third quarter there were barely even students in the stadium.

via

Cal Fans kept representing though. This picture was taken around halftime.

IMG_4768.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

As I mentioned, our seats were awesome so we got some great shots of the game:

The teacher and the pupil.

IMG_4926.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

Riley's scramble on the broken play.

IMG_5112.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

Run run run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me because The Maharg met my family. (It's science, you can't argue with science)

IMG_5135.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo taken by Jonathan Cheng)

If you look closely, Oski just low fived Follett.

IMG_0728

How do I love SydBoner, let me count the ways.

IMG_5163.JPG (via bipolarbear) (Photo by Jonathan Cheng)

Hey, this is the future.

IMG_4957.JPG (via bipolarbear)

I found it interesting that throughout the whole game while Riley was on the sidelines he threw the ball with Mansion. I didn't see Nate take a lot of throws to warm up his arm.

It was an awesome game from top to bottom, even if I'm still slightly worried about our offense. Definitely worth the 10 hours we spent driving there any back.

And when the game was over we all bought a keg of booze.

IMG_0783

And by 'keg of booze' I mean made a long drive back to Seattle.

I just realized in writing this, that both players whose families I met got a touchdown in the game. Cal Football Players take note, introduce me to your family and you too can score a touchdown!!!

Caption Contest. Entries in Bold.

Maharg — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:59:09 -0000

Caption Contest. Entries in Bold.

If you have to ask, don't ever read anything I write again. Come to think of it, everyone shouldn't...

Maharg — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:57:49 -0000

If you have to ask, don't ever read anything I write again. Come to think of it, everyone shouldn't read anything I write. Just give this a caption.

This picture hurts me, but it was begging for a caption contest. You know what to do.

Maharg — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:41:46 -0000

This picture hurts me, but it was begging for a caption contest. You know what to do.