SB Nation User Blog: Maize n Brew Dave

That Blue and White Kool-Aid Tastes Kinda Funny

Maize n Brew Dave — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:15:23 -0000

Long time friend of the 'Brew and proprietor of Black Shoe Diaries, the alpha dog of all Penn State Blogs, Mike is getting excited about this weekend's game against Michigan. In fact someone better get him a towel.

I'm sorry Michigan, but you don't stand a chance in this game. Penn State is not looking past you. Your defense will not hold up against the Penn State juggernaut. There is only one coach that has successfully taken the Big Ten by storm with the Spread, and his initials are not R.R.

Not to point out the obvious, but I wouldn't suggest that the initials behind the "spread" are J.P. either. Jay/Joe Paterno aren't responsible for this. Darryll Clark is. Just as Michael Robinson was in 2005. Jay Pa's incompetence has been well chronicled by BSD over the years. Even a moron can catch lightning in a bottle from time to time (Ex. A - Moeller, Andy: coaching Jake Long). So I'm not going to let the "spread" comment go unchallenged, especially when Rodriguez is the guy that is credited with inventing the spread. Jay Pa's still the worst position coach in the Big Ten. If you wish to argue this point, I present the following evidence.

I'm just saying.

But, in all fairness, Mike is probably right. Michigan is terrible this year. The offense is a mess. They're unranked. The Defense believes third and long means nap time. Stevie Brown and Charles Stewart are our safeties. Our offensive line hasn't started in the same alignment all year. Steven Threet hurt his elbow and Nick Sherridan couldn't hit the ground if he fell off a cliff. Our defensive coordinator likes to blitz on every possible down, except those downs where pressure makes sense. Our offensive coordinator thinks touchdowns are scored sideline to sideline rather than endzone to endzone. Sky falls. Seas boil. Moon as blood. yada yada yada.

On paper, yeah, Penn State is a much better team than Michigan.

People can point to the winning streak as evidence that Michigan will win. I'm in the camp that thinks winning streaks may have a psychological edge going into a game, or maybe even in a close game, but for the most part don't mean jack. I'll second Mike on this one:

Look, you have a nine game winning streak going and that's all. The events of eight years ago have no bearing on this Saturday. You could say your defensive line owned Anthony Morelli or that Mike Hart owned our defensive line, but those guys are gone now.

True. The team is brand new. This is a new group with new strengths and mostly flaws at this point. Michigan, on paper, shouldn't win this game. But stranger things have happened, a few of which I've borne witness to personally.

Colorado v. Michigan, 1994 - How many times does a hail mary pass work? If you're lucky you'll see one of them live. In your life time. I saw mine from the wrong end of a 27-26 Colorado win during my freshman year. Sucked the air and life out of the whole damn place. The only solace was watching the two Colorado fans dumb enough to rush the field get the holy hell pounded out of them my the State Police.

Stanford v. USC, 2007 - Ohhhh, I couldn't look away from this one. It was just so beautifully ugly. Stanford was and is the worst team in the PAC-10. USC the gold standard. The largest point spread in NCAA history. So what happens? Stanford upsets the #2 ranked Trojans 24-23 in the Coliseum.

Appalachian State v. Michigan, 2007 - obv.

Louisiana-Monroe v. Alabama, 2007 - Saban seems to have recovered from losing to a 24 1/2 point dog, at home. But still, this loss stung the Tide faithful even more than losing seasons under Shula.

Vanderbilt v. Georgia, 2006 - Homecoming for the Dawgs, the Jocks were supposed to stomp on the Commodores and reclaim their spot on the Greek Counsel. Yeah, not so much. The Nerds ruined homecoming, got the girl, and sent No. 16 Georgia eventually into the Chick-fil-A bowl, which despite being absolutely delicious, is not where the Dawgs wanted to be.

Notre Dame v. Boston College - Pick a game, really.

Something else is missing...

what was that game?

oh yeah....

Penn State v. Michigan, 2005 - Something about a #8 ranked team, undefeated, supposed to steam roll a crappy young Michigan team, National Championship train w000000000000t!1!!!11!! PSU had the spread offense all up in this biatch, Michigan had a young mistake prone robot quarterback, underachieving defense, and Michigan had just lost to Minnesota, Wisconsin, a bad Notre Dame team and could've easily been 2-4. Michigan was supposed to get blasted. How'd that end again?

via lh3.ggpht.com

Now do I think Michigan's going to repeat it's 2005 performance? Probably not. There are too many things that have gone wrong this year. And frankly, the coaching hasn't been that good. But Michigan's shown the ability to string together quarters of competency before. And if this just happens to be the game they do it for four of them, well, then you never know.

Confidence can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes it leads you to new heights, as it did when Michigan thumped Florida in the Citrus Bowl or to new depths when a small school from North Carolina punked the Wolerines in their own house. It's a dangerous thing.

Bad or not, never take a talented team lightly. Michigan may be bad right now, but I'd have to believe the Kool-Aid is spiked with some kind of hallucinogen if anyone's going to claim this team doesn't have talent. If you're looking for further evidence that anything can happen, ask Peter over at Burnt Orange Nation about those losses to A&M, Rock M Nation about losing to Oklahoma State, or any MSU fan about the Spartans' bizzarre pattern of swapping wins and losses with Northwestern.

It's not out of the realm of possibility, is it? So, before you take too long a drag on that Kool-Aid, just consider the alternative.

Michigan Hockey Defenseman Steve Kampfer Hospitalized

Maize n Brew Dave — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 03:08:38 -0000

Jeeze. This is news no one ever wants to receive confirmation of. Michigan junior and Defenseman for the hockey was hospitalized in the early hours of Monday morning following an assault and battery by a fellow student. The Michigan Daily is reporting that the perpetrator of the assault was Michigan Senior and walk-on running back Mike Milano.

Kampfer will be out an indefinite period of time recovering from what is reported as a cracked skull and fractured vertebrae. No word yet whether charges have been filed against Milano or any other person responsible for the attack.

Yuck. Just yuck. My thoughts and prayers are with Steve and his family. Get better buddy, we're all pulling for you.

Either the Ballad of the Fallen or the Hymn of the New Republic

Maize n Brew Dave — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:49:40 -0000

On a normal Tuesday, Thumbin’ Through would fill this particular time slot. A short recap of Michigan Football's exploits over the last weekend, and normally, a shorthand recap of Michigan's game against Toledo. But due to the amazing incompetence of the Big Ten Network, Chicago only got the Iowa Indiana game so there was no readily available television with the game on. I attempted to listen to the game via Mgoblue.com only to find out that the new and exciting revamp of the site made it impossible to listen to the game on a Mac. I eventually found streaming video of the game via the commenters on Mgoblog, only to have it freeze every time someone on the screen, you know, moved.

So for the better part of three hours I watched Gametracker provide horrifically slow updates, tried to make use of a halting video feed, and parsed through the “OMG!2q11! Someone must die!” comments on the live blog to get the status of the game. It was about as much fun as a colonoscopy.

Still, I can’t decide whether it was better to be pissed at the Angry Michigan Internets and Cable Television Hating Gods, or to watch the debacle live. After trolling the interwebs for two days, I think its safe to say I got off light. My frustration lasted an hour after the game, at which point my wife and I went for a walk, cooked dinner, and sat down to watch her team lose to North Carolina. If not for Texas win over OU and Oklahoma State’s win over Mizzu, the day would’ve been a college football wasteland for me. OSU, MSU, and PSU all won, and every one of them looked substantially more competent than Michigan.

Wisconsin, Michigan’s lone Big Ten win, was humiliated in front of their home crowd by the team Michigan gets to face on Saturday. Illinois, a team that thumped Michigan by 25 points, was manhandled at home by Minnesota, another team Michigan gets to face in a couple of weeks. And we lost, at home, to Toledo.

Michigan’s remaining schedule consists of @ Penn State, Michigan State, @ Purdue, @ Minnesota, Northwestern, and @ Ohio State. If I had to pick a third win, it’s at Purdue, but even that’s a long shot based on the team’s recent performance. A bad, but talented, team is good for one, maybe two improbable upsets a year. You can suggest Michigan played its improbable upset card when they took out Wisconsin, but Wisconsin’s performance since that date has been abysmal. Fresno State win or not, Wisconsin does not look like a good team right now so it’s difficult to hang your “improbability” win on that one.

So there’s still hope for a big win. Realistically though, it ain’t likely. But these things happen when transitions occur. At least that’s what I’m telling myself and my friends, whether they or I want to hear it or not.

The Toledo loss really took a lot of air out of everyone’s tires. The manner in which the offense and the defense have regressed does and should scare the hell out of everyone who is still hoping for a respectable end to the season.

Trolling around the Mich-o-Sphere reactions ranged from resignation to anger to despair to anger, again. One of the benefits of having such a diverse fan base is the dichotomy between the various opinions and voices. Hopefully, this little roundup will give you a little bit of insight into how everyone, in their own way, is dealing with a 2-4 season.

The Patient

To me, M Victors is right. We knew this season was going to suck. They’re still giving Rodriguez and his staff a free pass on this season. Sure there are reasons to be mad, but don’t shoot the rooster because the hens aren’t producing eggs. BTW, check out M Victors’ outstanding two part interview with Jim Shand, the former WTKA morning show host and former NHL and Michigan hockey player. Just outstanding work.

The Wolverine Liberation Army reminded us that great things come to those who wait, and only the true fans wait through trying times.

I’ve said it here before. Guarantees are for the weak. There is no coach, scheme, system, player, or strategy that is guaranteed to win or even be remotely successful. I believe in Coach Rodriguez and the Bad News Wolverines because I have no choice. My commitment to Michigan was made in my youth, solidified in college, and will always remain….

If the prospect of watching our program be[ing] tore down, embarrassed, and eventually redeemed does not excite you, then I suggest finding a new team. This is a process all the great teams have gone through. It is one we will have to go through, at some point, in order to be great again. Again – I give you no guarantee that it will be soon or that it will be Rodriguez in charge. Sometimes you just have to believe.

The Angry

Brian at MGoBlog is throwing things.

Brian at Genuinely Sarcastic is calling for blood. But not from the football team. From the non believers. The Boo-ers. The people expecting the world in 8 simple steps.

Nut up, people. Remember the attrition that happened, because the new staff made things tougher on the players before the season? That's applying to the fanbase now. The true diehards will be revealed, and the chicken(shit) littles will be weeded out.

Rome wasn't built in a day, and if you expected it to be, you are a gutless fool, and I am ashamed to cheer for the same team as you.

Beauford at The Only Game That Matters is ready to choke a bitch if this win now at the expense of reality mindset of certain sections of the Michigan fanbase doesn’t quiet the eff down.

Maize and Blue Nation is kinda mad and reflective at the same time. But does get class points for pulling out a Thomas Paine reference.

These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.

Michigan Sports Center is Maaaaaaaaaaaad. So mad he broke down each quarter and took an in depth look at the game that got away.

The Reflective

Matt at Genuinely Sarcastic took a look at the season and how much Michigan football means to him and came to the same conclusion so many of us have, screw it, I’m still a Michigan fan no matter how bad they play.

Hoover Street Rag found solace and reflection in music.

Finding Humor to Keep from Crying

Mad props to Michigan Against the World for making me laugh through this one. We’re at DEFCON 2 people.

Varsity Blue probably found the best way to deal with the Toledo game. Text messaging.

Paul: i think this proves sheridan to clemons is not effective
Tim: sheridan to X is generally terrible. mostly on account of the sheridan factor
Paul: bye bye motor city bowl
Tim: i might puke

At a Loss

The support of the boys and girls at UM Tailgate will never waver, but sometimes you just run out of words to describe what your feeling. I think this post sums that up pretty well.

Spawn of MZone is trying to find the reset button.

Signs of Resignation

My buddy Andrew over at Road Games is trying to piece things together all while living in Argentina. My hat's off to him for finding some perspective a couple thousand miles away in a country that thinks a football is round.

Champ at the Only Game That Matters has had better days.

Bo Schemblogger is so upset he’s quoting Drew Sharp. Dude. Seriously. Dude. Zanax is available.

Holding a Wake

The Big House Blog said good bye to some history and eulogized via some pointed quotations.

Mark Mitera Out With Knee Injury

Maize n Brew Dave — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:27:30 -0000

Dammit. Just a bad weekend all around for Michigan sports. Michigan Hockey Net, via MSC, is reporting Mitera is going to be out a while with a knee injury.

Pyre of the Phoenix: Michigan Football Falls to Toledo

Maize n Brew Dave — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 03:09:00 -0000

via upload.wikimedia.org

Going into this particular season most Michigan fans had braced for the inevitable. There were going to be losses. There were going to be changes. Making a bowl was going to be a skin of the teeth type of ordeal. What no one was prepared for was just how bad this team would be.

No one could've predicted just how God awful Michigan's defense would be, especially when it was returning 7 starters. Everyone knew yards would be hard to come by, but no could possibly have predicted Michigan's Offense would be 116 out of 119 D1-A teams at third down conversions. I don't care who you are, you couldn't have predicted this. You couldn't have predicted just how bad we'd be.

That is, of course, unless you went to Notre Dame, Nebraska, Colorado, Miami (FL), or USC. If that was the case, well, you've probably got a pretty good idea of what we're going through, and just how bad it's going to get before it gets better.

If it's not obvious why I'm mentioning these teams, it's time for a history lesson. Each of these schools has won a national championship within the last 30 years, in some cases multiple national championships. But even a cursory glance at their records shows that even the mighty, the invincible fall, and they fall hard.

Notre Dame's collapse was epic. From the Glory years of Lou Holtz to the lean years of Bob Davie (35-25), Willingham (21-15), and Weis (25-17). Since Holtz left there hasn't been a single bowl win and four losing seasons including a 3-9 2007 campaign.

Nebraska self inflicted its own wounds following the Legendary Tom Osborne's departure. Frank Solich was went 59-19 during his tenure at Nebraska and was forced out the door by an overzealous AD following a 7-7 season and a subsequent 9-3 season. Fired after a 9-3 season. How's that for a lesson in a crazy fanbase? Nebraska's AD at the time, Steve Pederson, justified the move by stating he would not "let Nebraska gravitate into mediocrity" and would not "surrender the Big 12 to Oklahoma and Texas". The result was the disastrous tenure of Bill Callahan (27-22). Callahan had two losing seasons in four years and managed to give up 76 points to Kansas in 2007. He is no longer the coach of Nebraska.

Colorado won a National Championship in 1990, but has had 4 losing seasons since 2000 including a 2-11 season in 2006. But even that pales in comparison to the embarrassment of the Barnett years and the fallout from a program truly out of control.

Miami. Do I really need to go into this? Thug Life. A football dynasty you'd have to be clinically insane to disrupt. They won the national championship in 2001 and were seemingly an Orange and Green Freight Train destined to rule college football for the foreseeable future. Well, the freight train derailed and the Canes just emerged from a 5-7 season. And based on current performance, they may just repeat that this season.

Even the seemingly never ending dynasty of USC was 3-8 in 1991 and 5-7 in 2000.

Maybe. Just maybe, other national powers have been down this road before. Maybe this was a little more inevitable than we thought. Maybe Michigan's just not good enough to avoid the pratfalls that have affected similar programs. Maybe.

Regardless of historical precedent, Michigan's stunning loss to Toledo did and should shake the foundations of all Michigan fans. Losses like this aren't supposed to happen to Michigan.

Oh. Wait. Never mind. Nebraska wasn't supposed to get beat by Kansas by 40. Notre Dame wasn't supposed to lose to Navy, ever. Colorado wasn't supposed to, well, pick a game.

The facts are things like this happen during transitions. They happen regardless of how good your recruiting class was or who the new coach is. New schemes, personnel, personalities; these are all things that throw the professionals for a loop. So it seems a tad bit unfair that we expect immediate success out of a bunch of kids.

However, what we should expect is a modicum of improvement game to game out of your players. No matter how good or bad their recruiting stats were, they are still human beings, capable of achieving great things if properly motivated and coached.

I am now and shall remain a believer in Rich Rodriguez as Michigan's head coach. I think he's hit a pothole he didn't see coming, but I still think Michigan will be better off as a result of his hire. While I have not been a particular fan of Calvin McGee's play calling this year, I find it hard to fault him for the offense. Michigan returned two starters on offense: a slow wide receiver and a sophomore offensive lineman who should've redshirted the year prior if not for the dearth of talent on Michigan's line. Whether Threet could've played in the second half with his injured elbow is a question I can't answer. But if he could've played, keeping Sheridan in the game was inexcusible.

But the frustration of a fanbase must come to rest somewhere, and fairly or not, it's resting place should be on the shoulders of DC Scott Shafer. Shafer is a good man. A motivated man. But he was out coached by one the worst teams in the MAC and has watched a veteran group dissolve into chaos. Michigan's 3rd down defensive conversion statistics are horrific this year. The most appalling aspect of this is Michigan's total inability to stop anyone from converting 3rd and 8+. Shafer routinely sent three down linemen on third down allowing Toledo time to pick apart Michigan's poorly coached secondary.

Shafer has gone completely away from the strengths of his defense (the line) and is relying on it's weakest points to be the difference makers (LB and S). As a result, the defense is a mess, and its regressing. Against one of the worst teams in the MAC, Michigan notched one sack. One. Worse they allowed one receiver to amass TWENTY catches in a single game. Two. Zero. Twenty. How is that even possible? Did they fail to notice that 60% of the passes thrown in that game went ONE GUY? If the level of competency and play doesn't increase dramatically over the remainder of the season I do not see how Shafer remains on staff at the end of the year. There's a lot of time for improvement, but if this performance remains constant we'd have saved ourselves a lot of trouble by simply retaining Ron English when Rodriguez came on board. Well, honestly, we'd probably be better off because English's secondaries were usually pretty good. That's the level of my frustration.

Even so, loss and all, I'll still show up for the games. I'll still rearrange my Saturdays so I can catch the first snap. Because it does get better. Eventually. Rodriguez was 3-8 when he took over a talent depleted West Virginia squad in 2001 before guiding them to 9 wins the following year and six straight bowl games including three straight BCS games. Michigan's incoming recruiting class is as talented as any class in the country. Given another year to adjust, both coaches and players will react and perform better than they could given six months to prepare. At some point, this will make sense in the grand scheme. But for now, it's gonna suck.

Toledo was not Appalachian State. Don't kid yourself. Nothing compares to that debacle. Toledo was a bad team beating another bad team. Nothing more. Anyone suggesting otherwise is a moron.

Regardless of name or pedigree, Michigan is not a good football team. There seems to be a lack of leadership, a lack of urgency that will propel this team through tough stretches like this. Like Notre Dame a year before, it is struggling with new faces, schemes, and inexperience. Just like Nebraska under Callahan, Michigan is suffering through its worst season in over 60 years. Just like USC in 1991, Michigan could conceivably emerge 3-8 or like Notre Dame last year, 3-9.

But even in times of crisis there should be hope for the future. Legend has it the Phoenix lived for 600 years before its life cycle drew to a close. During those final moments of the Phoenix' life cycle it built itself a nest of cinnamon twigs before igniting the nest and itself in its own funeral pyre, only to emerge renewed, vibrant, and more capable than before.

Funeral pyres such as the 2008 Michigan Football season have engulfed programs just as successful as Michigan before. And for the most part these programs have emerged from their own ashes as strong or stronger than their previous incarnations. Colorado, Nebraska and Miami are just beginning to spread their wings after mismanagement ground them into irrelevance. Notre Dame is Notre Dame, and Weis or not, they will continue to improve. And USC, well, we all know that story.

But reclamation doesn’t happen overnight. The Phoenix must burn itself down to its ashes before it may rise again. Only time will tell if Toledo was the flash point of the pyre, or the final dying ember of its rejuvenation flame. Either way, it will take time for Michigan to spread its wings again. If the pyre is complete, Michigan will compete against Penn State. If the fire is just stating, the Nittnay Lions will throw gasoline on the blaze.

Like those other regenerating dynasties, Michigan must face its own mortality before it can renew itself. And judging by Saturday’s game, that could take a while.

Steven Threet Injured his Elbow Before Halftime

Maize n Brew Dave — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 03:44:02 -0000

From the Ann Arbor News:

In the second half, Sheridan took over at quarterback for Threet, who suffered an elbow injury before halftime.

Before people lose their minds over Michigan's loss to Toledo and call for people's heads because Sheridan was in the game instead of Threet, the official line is Threet got injured. Everyone please take a deep breath. Now come in off the ledge. It may get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

Game #6: Michigan Football v. Toledo

Maize n Brew Dave — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:55:02 -0000

We kinda need this one.

Celebratory Brews, Wags of the Finger, and All Things Inbetween: Evaluating Michigan Football's Performance Against Illinois

Maize n Brew Dave — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:26:35 -0000

(Ed. Note - No. I can't spell. And yes. I did change the originally misspelled "Evaluating" to "Evaluating." kthnxbi!)

Sure, it's Thursday, time to move on. But Michigan Football's performance on Saturday left plenty of things to discuss. Like what, if anything, positive we can take away from the game and the things we need to work on. With that in mind I dish out a few Celebratory Brews and a boatload of Wags of my Finger and wonder out loud just how rough this season is going to be.

Celebratory Brews!

Um...

Well... Someone had to have done something good... oh yeah... kinda...

Offensive Play Calling - Despite Brian's excellent breakdown of the failures of the Zone Read against Illinois' defense, I thought the play calling was aggressive and relatively well suited to the players. Sure Threet's throws weren't the best from time to time and offensive execution wasn't great by any means, but the Coaches put the offense in a position to be successful. The players just couldn't make it work against the Illini.

Martavious Odoms' Kick Off Returns - The fourth quarter fumble be damned, Odoms was awesome in the return game. Michigan started every drive north of the 25 yard line and usually around the 30 or better. On seven returns he averaged 26 yards a return and made something out of Michigan's horrific return blocking.

Greg Mathews - 4 catches, 73 yards and touchdown. When Michigan threw his way Mathews was dangerous. They just didn't throw his way enough.

via www.mikedesimone.com

Zoltan Mesko - Keeps doing his job. A 47 yard average, including a 55 yarder, 3 downed inside the 20. Not too shaby. The Space Emperor is living up to his name.

and we're done here....

Wags of the Finger!

Good God, where to start?

The Defensive Secondary - There is only one other non-USC, non-bowl related pasting of Michigan's secondary that is even remotely in this category, and that is Dennis Dixon's aerial dismanteling of the Wolverines last year. During that game the Wolverines surrendered passing touchdowns of 85, 61, and 46 yards, and Dixon threw for 293 yards.

During the Illinois game Michigan gave up passing plays of 46, 57, and 77 yards, with the last two resulting in touchdowns. Illinois' receivers ran free, as though they were happy gazels in a lion free tundra. Nothing went right. Tackles were whiffed on, angles were poor, decision making was terrible. Everyone in the defensive secondary was bad. You can't point to a single guy and say, "well, he was okay." No. He wasn't. He was bad too. Five games into the season the fact that the secondary's problems in recognizing the difference between a run and a pass play do not bode well for Michigan's chances against any remotely competent quarterback.

Fumbles - Someone please make this nightmare stop. Karma? The WLA has a point. For four years Mike Hart didn't fumble once, unless it was during a bowl game. Now Karma has come around to bite us in the ass. Hart's two fumbles were just a warning of the flood that was to come. Michigan leads the Big Ten in fumbles and fumbles lost. Actually, they lead the COUNTRY in fumbles lost, tied with Wyoming, and Army at 117th in football protection. Woo! We're number #1(17)!

No one besides McGuffie can keep from fumbling. Brandon Minor can't hold onto the damn ball. If he could, he'd be an integral part of this offense. To pilfer from MGoBlog (comment #19) Commenter Other Chris, the fumble percentages look like this:

McGuffie: 1 fumble in 96 touches -- 1% fumble rate
Odoms: 1 fumble in 36 touches -- 2.8% fumble rate
Minor: 3 fumbles in 15 touches -- 20% fumble rate
Grady: 1 fumble in 12 touches -- 8.3% fumble rate

Just to make you a little more nauseous, Threet has eight fumbles (losing four of them). I maintain the back breaking fumble against Illinois was Shaw's fault, so that total should be 7/3, but it's still horrific. Worse, at least two of those fumbles were unforced "the ball slipped out of my hand" fumbles inside the red zone. Seriously. WTF!? Worse, the fumblitis is getting to people that aren't even playing that much. If you want to count Mike Shaw's touches (4 rushes, 2 KOR, 4 receptions) he's got two fumbles for a 20% fumble rate, per touch. The ball may be coated in tephlon, this is just one of those freak things, it could also be a coaching issue. My money's on all three.

At a certain point you just throw your hands up and shake you head in disbelief for a final time. Maybe this will get better, but it probably won't and it'll be an achilles heel that will more likely than not keep Michigan out of a bowl game this year. These are, after all, kids. I'm hopeful that with age and experience this trend will go down and ball security will improve, but I'm not expecting it any more than I expect a puppy not to piss on my carpet. It's going to happen. I know it. The puppy knows it. There ain't nothing I can do about it.

Refereeing - This is getting comical. And not Lewis Black or Chris Rock funny comical. Carrot Top comical. Comical to the point you want to jump off the balcony to end your suffering comical. Referees directly infront of a play aren't making proper calls while back judges are flinging flags on plays they can barely see. This is hitting Sun Belt levels of quality. The officiating must be overhauled immediately, because even though the officiating didn't cost Michigan this particular game, it's going to cost a front running Big Ten team a game in the near future. No matter what game I'm watching the Referees are missing obvious calls while calling the borderline and not even close kind of penalties. This has to stop. Otherwise the repuation of a Conference in decline continue to grow in validity because of people that aren't even playing the game. And that's even more nauseating than Michigan's fumble problems.

Everything Else - I could wag my finger all day long, but I'd type until my fingers were worn down to the bone. The errant throws. The lack of pressure. The linebackers' horrific, horrific play. The Offensive line being incapable of blocking in the second half. Everything. Everything in the world and time up till now. Everything. For Shame!

All Things In Between

Noise - For what its worth, the construction around Michigan Stadium is making the Stadium a lot louder. The last two games have been the loudest I've ever heard in the Big House. For all the criticism bloggers and the media have leveled on the fans, for the most part, people have been incredibly supportive of what is a bad football team. And those same fans were yellin', screamin' and clappin' as loud as they can first through fourth down during the first three and a half quarters. In my section, which is full of old folks and alumni, no one sat down and everyone was yellin. The House is getting louder, and as this team improves, it's going to be a huge advantage.

Illinois Fans - For the most part, you were nice people. A couple of you were schmucks, but for the most part nice enough. I wish your football team luck with the remainder of your schedule. You beat us in our house and I tip my cap to you.

Certain Illinois Fans - We need to talk. Mostly about your shirt selection. Now I realize you're in college and the idea that you can curse and swear and wear whatever you want is new to you, and the fact that you can do all of those things on a T-shirt makes your insides all tingly, but grow up. Maybe it's not exclusive to Illinois fans, but the highest percentage of visiting fans to wear the oh so clever "Muck Fichigan" t-shirts are the Illini. Muck Fichigan. He he. It's like I'm swearing, but I'm not. Because the letters are swapped. It's da bomb brah.

Yeah. Ha ha. You're a dumbass. If you own or wear a shirt like that (this includes anyone with a "-uck [School]" t-shirt of any kind), I'll say it again so I'm crystal clear on this point. You're a dumbass. You can think you're clever, but those shirts and signs have been around for decades and they were stupid then too. The same with the "Ann Arbor is a Whore" t-shirt. Attention, dumbass, they've been circulating since the 60's. If you're wearing either of these shirts in public, you're not only a dumbass but you're an unoriginal dumbass. Come up with something new. I beg of you. Please prove to me there something else to do in Chambana than drink grain alcohol and pledge the Greek system.

Big Ten Blogger Rountable Goes On Jeopardy!

Maize n Brew Dave — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:31:26 -0000

It's been a little while since I participated in a BTB Roundtable. Part of it is that life hasn't cooperated and the other part is it seems like we're always asking the same questions. So my hat's off to The Only Game That Matters for taking the bull by the cajones and coming up with a fresh way of looking at this.

In an effort to switch things up combined with a weird obsession with Jeopardy, I've decided that this week I'm going to write the answers - you guys write the questions. The questions can be one-liners, paragraphs, whatever. The goal is to be as funny as you can, and I expect pot-shots taken at various teams and bloggers whether warranted or not (Call me a dumbass for these roundtables, and you might just make the side-bar). Let's get a little life back into these things.

Cool. I can get behind this. So what's the deal? Where's the screen?

That's better. I'll take Big Ten Blogger Roundtable for $100.

And the answers are:

1) Jay Paterno and the Spread HD: What is a Mirage?

Jay Paterno is still the same incompetent yokel whose head Penn State fans have been calling for over the last five years. The fact that Darryl Clark can run down the field without spearing himself in spite of Jay Paterno's coaching is arguably the greatest mystery of the college football season. In fact, it should probably be its own Jeopardy category.

2) Joe Tiller's Mustache: What is Diabeetus?

Bitches don't know.

3) The Color Purple: What is a sad, yet heart warming story of a family torn apart in the early 1900's? Oh. Wait. Not the movie?

Then what is the strangest sight atop the Big Ten in 12 years? Goddamn Fitzgerald.... Grumble...

4) Brains: What is not just for breakfast anymore?

via img518.imageshack.us

5) Hawkeye State: Who is a proud member of the Lemon Party? (That's just too easy.)

6) Rudy: What is,

I hate Rudy.

7) Knee Ligaments:

What are more painful to watch snap than any other part of the human anatomy?

8) Terrell Pryor:

Who is the second coming of Maurice Clarrett?

9) Mark May:

Who is covered in Lou Holth spittle?

10) Rich Rodriguez:

Who is going to make the Big Ten his bitch in the next two years?

Thanks again to The Only Game That Matters for hosting. The Round-Up will be posted there on Friday. Make sure to check it out.

Thumbin' Through Michigan v. Illinois: Feel The Pain

Maize n Brew Dave — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:24:43 -0000

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Thumbin' Through, I bring my Treo to every game and thumb out my thoughts as the game goes on. This is complete stream of consciousness. The idea is to put you right inside my head as the game goes on, play by play, Being John Malkovich style. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's painful. Often it's obscene. But it's never boring. So if you have delicate sensibilities, I would recommend you skip this posting and continue on to the rest of site. Regards - Ed.

UM Ill!

Odoms deep for KO rtn

Holy crap. Rtn to 37!
1d mcguff buried on rn to rt.
2d minor in - 2&10 - 2 backs - pass rt to mthews hi enf to get ovr lb
perfect thr

1d - I form - mcgf rt mid for 3 bhnd moundros
2d - koger in - pass rt for nthn miss pass
3d - thrt for pass nthn tucks and scrmbls for 20

1d - zn rd keeper - nthn for
2d - thrt roll out lft mcgf out of bf. Nthn sack whn no one open
3d - thrt read deep ball odoms rds shrt. total mis com. I'm blaming odoms.
4th - fg from 42 - tipped blkd.

Play calling aggressive. Good. lots of time to throw. No one open.

1d ILL - brown hrrisn sfts - grhm stuffs zn rd midl gn 2
2d - jam and ezeh rd juice run stf it on rt
3d - blitz hrrisn - brwn stays in position frcs tuff thr
4th - Pnt to mthws rtn to 50

1d UM @ ill 48 - minor mcgf - fk rn to minr - pass to odoms for 25 to rt
2d - mcgff run left fo 20

1&gl - wooooooooo - mcgf mndrs - rn lft for td - x pt good!

7-0 UM! Is this Same team?

KO UM - benn ctchs @ 12 - @ 31
1d - swrt in - pass to benn on lft side of zn 9 yrds
2d - no brwn - juice up midl on zn rd for 9

1d @ 45 - qk pass lft to benn to lft gets ez 1d

1d - pass to rt on scrn inc
2d - rn midl lft stfd - flg - illegal sub - rpt dwn
2d & 10 - hrrsn on bnn - martin hauls down fo loss
3d - grt coverag - hld on ill - pass oobs
3d & 16 - double scrn fk rt wnt lft - stpd aftr 5
4 &9 - fg good

UM 7 - ILL 3

Ill lining benn up in slot on every down

UM bringing harrison on a lot of biltzes

KO - odoms - rtn to 39
UM 1d - mcgf pwrs lft spns out of tkl for 6
2d - mcgf rt for 2
3d - mcgf & thrt - thrt kpr for 6 to rt

1d - thrt throws dngr thr ovr midl to no one. Pick thr by frshmn
2d - draw play on bltz hits bltz perfct nthn
3d - thrt throws to odoms to lft midl intmed rt for 20 - wobler good adjust

1d - mcgf stuffd midl lft
2d - thrt to mathews wide open on rt sidln.

1&gl - @ 8 - mcgf fights for 3
2d & gl - @ 6 - pass to koger midl on roll out for td - flg for inelligble dnfld
2&gl@11 - i form - TO UM -
2&11 - td on jump ball to mthews in corner - ply undr rvw - reply
looks gd - ruling stnds! Woooooooo! X ptn gets tipped but good. Flg
Flg on ill offsides - declined

UM 14 Ill 03

KO UM - sucks - rtn to 33

1d - deep ball to benn. Brown brings down benn @ 20 hrrble cvrge
1d - rn rt for 10
1& gl - d looks confused - juice keeper midl for 2

End 1 qrt

Strt 2qrt

2d & GL @ 6 - juice williams on zn read keeper
D'oh.
X pt good.

UM 14 Ill 10

KO ILL - odoms back - rtn to 34

1d UM - zn rd rt for nthn
2d - rvrs to odoms for 3
3d - empty bf - pass to mathews brkn up -obv pi missed - davis draped
on mathews
4th - Pnt zoltan boots to 16 benn fc

1d ILl @ 16 - nickl pkg - run lft for 9
2d - s brown on bltz nails juice - inc
3d - juice up midl - 1d barely
1d - option run to Benn? Loss of 5 to rt
2d - triple option to left for 12
3d - pass to rt midl zn to benn for 1d
1d - brown bites on play fk - juice ovr thrw to rt deep
2d - scrn pass to rt goes for 60plus TD

Obv hold on grhm not clld on rt side. stll shldve stpd that.

ILL 17 - UM 14

ILL KO - odoms back - odoms to 29
1d - mcgf to lft for 1
2d - empty bf to scrn rt to mcgf - maybe 2
3&7 - playcalling getting conserv - 3d - wheel route to minor ovr thrwn. Minor got bumped oobs and wasn't close
Pnt - zltn - punt to ill 15

Zltn doing his job

1d - juice keepr to rt on zn rd for 6
2d - rn rt looked boxed in - busts it for 2
3d - stuffd!
Pnt to UM 29

UM 1d - monrs in - i form - ply actn roll rt pass rt to odoms picks up 23
1d - qk hitch - to savoy for 6 rning ply
2d- zn rd to mcgf for 3 rt midl got 1d
1d - resrv pitch to mcguff almost goes arwry. Mcgf saves bacn only loses 1
2d - deep ball to savoy beats davis savoy drops it.
3d - open pass to lft. - thrt airmails it. Inc
4th - pnt - tback

Ill @ 20 - 1d - juice keepr to lft for 6
2d - benn in mtn - optn to benn lft goes for 6
1d - pass to benn ovr thrn wrrn clst to ball
2d - pass inc on roll out - lots of pssr
3d -juice keeper - flg on hld - clnd
4th - pnt - fc @ 19

1d UM - thrws it rt at the ill LB. Drpd int
2d - mcgf - runs midl for 30

1d rn rt by mcgf - tckld by davis who svs td - davis still down walks off
2d - roll out to rt, nth open gets rid of it.
3d & 11 - thrt sails deep ball ovr dbl cvrg
Pnt - to 21 dwnd

1d ILl - brnd grhm scks juice
2d - jamo deflcts pass
3d - juice buried at 9 TO UM
4th - pnt
Mathews has a chnce to rn undr it but doesn't. ball @ Ill 48

1d - minor runs rt gets hit and fumbls. - mobdros rcvrs
2d - pass midl to odoms a mile bhnd inc
3d - DO pass to odoms ovr midl - odoms gets turned around and misses sure td pass. Ther is no chemistry bt those two.
Pnt downd @ 3 by brown

1d juice keepr midl for 4 - to um
2d - juice midl clk kllr
End of half

Seem to have forgone mathews for odoms. No grady either.

Pass pro pretty good. Couple of bad thrws by threet. Arm drping.

KO UM - with wind - benn back - @ 23

Ill 1d - zn rd to rb midl for 0
2d - pass into midl brken up by ezeh
3d - anthr scn lft ctches mich off grd - hld brings 20 yrdr back -
juice thrws that nice
3d - stwrt and wrrn blw coverage agn - td ill - ex ptn gd

24 Ill - UM 14

Ugh. I thought they fixed the secndry probs. Miserable deep covrage. Like nd all ovr again.

KO Ill - odoms rtn to 30

1d - 2wd - 79 at grd btn bad and loss two on rn rt
2d - thrt pass to rt on anthr scrn loss 4
3d - thrt strpd - schill falls on it
Pnt - zltn - boots to 28

Need stp - d back on fld. If l'm ill I go deep agn. Not a lot of energy in stadium

1d - 4w - juice scrmbls lft jamo loses contain - thrws away
2d -triple option - grhm sps aftr two to rt
3d- obv pi on hrrisn gives 1d

1d - rn lft stfd aftr 2
2d - hrrisn blws up option lft. Jamo forcd pitch
3d - clk rns out snp and refs give Ill TO. Bs.
3d - rvrs scrn to rt stffd for 3
4th - Pnt to mthws dwnd @ 27

Illegal sub on mich

1d & 15 - shrt lft thr to odoms for 1. Woooooo
2d - shw in - roll out to lft stuff by 44 for ill
3&17 - 44 sacks threet. Pass pro getting whipped.
4 &27 - zltn punts to Ill 35 - benn rtn to 43 ill.

1d - pass inc to lft at TE
2d - finally a blitz - stfs run rt for loss
3d - two guys wiff on tckls and pick up ill 1d on cross to little guy

1d - pass to benn goes for TD - flg on ill brings back td - blck in bak

No pssr. No cov. Bad.

1&10 @ 18 - a littl psr bt juic rolls out inc
2 & 10 - rn lft. Jamo mks tckl aftr 4
3&6 - chp blk declined - 4 & 6 aftr inc to rt

FG - blckd!

Stll 24 - 14

1d @ 20 - minor and shaw - minor rt for 3
2d - minor rt on option rns thr tackl
3&2 - pass shrt to lft midl for 1d
1d - shw burns rt for 6
2d - thrt qk pass rt for 1d
1d - shw drps handoff ill rcvrs
Dammit

1d ill - juice zn rd midl for 17
1d - ezeh stfs rn midl
2d - safties suck up on ply fk and comp ovr top lft.
1d - juice keeper midl lft stpd for 2
2d - end qrt

No pssr in ill bkfld. Safties biting on evry ball fake. Wrrn having terrible game

Juice has 303 passing yards thru 3 qrtrs. Wtf!?

Srt 4th

2&10 @ 13 - juice stpd in bf and escapes for 13
1&gl - @ 2 - TO Ill

1&GL - rn to rt TD. Mich d looks slw.

31- 14

Odom back - rtn to 28

1d UM - pass lft to odoms, hits him in hnds drpd.
2d - pass to odoms - not even looking it
3d - cross to odoms comp for 1d

1d - @ 43 - pretty pass left to babb drped in hnds
2d - deep ball to mathews

1d - @ 12 - pass to odoms comp on rt come back cuts to 2

1d&gl - hnd off to mcgf for nthn
2d &2 - zn rd keepr midl rt for td - ply undr rvw - rply shws td! - why r they doing this crp? BULLSHIT. Call ovr rld
3& gl - why in gods name are yourning a swp from 1 inch line?
4th - pass to mondros for td to the rt
X pt - clanks off post.
20 - 31

UM to KO

Pen flag - ball loose - he's down
1d @ 32 - juice keeper sacked by ezeh
2d - pass to benn in midl of fld
3&5 - obv pi on ezeh missed. Inc. - nope - pi called. 15 yrds
1d - juice keepr to lft- hit by ezeh aftr 8
2&2 - cv by wrrn obv off-pi not calld
3 - juice wiiliams runs to the 1. Rt up gut.60 yrds.
1d @ 1 - d stks lin - stfs dive.
2d &gl - dive ovr top stfd.
3& gl - optn lft pitch to rb-td - jamo crshes juice.

38 - 20

And we're done.